WEBVTT X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000 00:00:04.971 --> 00:00:15.982 line:10% position:35% size:50% [ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ] 00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:30.930 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE! 00:00:30.997 --> 00:00:38.271 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE! 00:00:38.338 --> 00:00:44.110 line:10% position:25% size:78% align:start >> AND NOW THE SECRET ORIGIN OF MO-LARR, ETERNIAN DENTIST! 00:00:44.177 --> 00:00:48.715 line:79% position:43% size:65% MOE LARRSTEIN WAS JUST AN AVERAGE CITIZEN UNTIL, ONE 00:00:48.782 --> 00:00:50.183 line:85% position:28% size:35% FATEFUL DAY... 00:00:50.250 --> 00:00:54.587 line:79% position:30% size:78% align:start [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] ...THE DAY HE TOOK HIS S.A.T.s! 00:00:54.654 --> 00:00:57.490 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start [ DING! ] WITH A MATH SCORE OF 520, THE 00:00:57.557 --> 00:01:01.628 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start UNIVERSITY OF ETERNIA WAS MARGINALLY IMPRESSED. 00:01:01.694 --> 00:01:04.697 line:10% position:25% size:28% ACCEPTANCE! 00:01:04.764 --> 00:01:10.370 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start NOW THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO -- APPLY FOR A 00:01:10.437 --> 00:01:13.106 line:85% position:28% size:33% STUDENT LOAN! 00:01:13.173 --> 00:01:17.076 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start AN UNSUBSIDIZED LOAN WAS AVAILABLE AT A RATE OF 6.8%. 00:01:17.143 --> 00:01:21.147 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start BUT IN THE MOST DRAMATIC TWIST YET, MOE QUALIFIED FOR A 00:01:21.214 --> 00:01:25.752 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start SUBSIDIZED FEDERAL LOAN AT A RATE OF 5.6%! 00:01:25.819 --> 00:01:30.290 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start MOE SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT HIS STUDENT LOAN WAS TAX-DEDUCTIBLE. 00:01:30.356 --> 00:01:34.127 line:79% position:50% size:78% HIS DEDUCTION COULD BE CLAIMED WHETHER OR NOT HE ITEMIZED SAID 00:01:34.194 --> 00:01:37.997 line:79% position:50% size:78% DEDUCTIONS, AS LONG AS HE USED THE PROCEEDS FROM THE LOANS FOR 00:01:38.064 --> 00:01:41.901 line:79% position:48% size:73% QUALIFIED EDUCATION EXPENSES, SUCH AS ROOM, BOARD, TUITION, 00:01:41.968 --> 00:01:44.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% FEES, BOOKS, AND OTHER SUPPLIES. 00:01:44.237 --> 00:01:48.541 line:79% position:48% size:75% HIS DEDUCTIONS WERE VALID, BUT ONLY IF HE ATTENDED CLASSES AT 00:01:48.608 --> 00:01:52.946 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start LEAST PART-TIME IN A RECOGNIZED AND ACCREDITED PROGRAM! 00:01:53.012 --> 00:01:57.050 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start WHEN WE RETURN, LEARN WHICH OF MO-LARR'S CREDITS TRANSFERRED TO 00:01:57.116 --> 00:01:58.184 line:85% position:30% size:38% HIS NEW SCHOOL. 00:01:58.251 --> 00:02:00.920 line:85% position:45% size:68% THE ANSWERS WILL SHOCK YOU. 00:02:02.522 --> 00:02:05.859 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> AND I'M ALSO A CLIENT. 00:02:05.925 --> 00:02:08.495 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start >> AND NOW A SNEAK PEEK AT "TRANSFORMERS 3." 00:02:08.561 --> 00:02:09.629 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> CAREFUL, SAM. 00:02:09.696 --> 00:02:14.067 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start IF MEGATRON GETS THE ALLSPARK, HE WILL RULE THE ENTIRE 00:02:14.133 --> 00:02:15.869 line:85% position:23% size:23% UNIVERSE. 00:02:15.935 --> 00:02:20.240 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start OR IT MIGHT KILL HIM AND THEN POSSIBLY RAISE HIM FROM THE 00:02:20.306 --> 00:02:22.342 line:85% position:18% size:13% DEAD. 00:02:22.408 --> 00:02:25.678 line:79% position:48% size:73% FRANKLY, SAM, I DON'T [BLEEP] KNOW WHAT THE ALLSPARK DOES. 00:02:25.745 --> 00:02:27.914 line:10% position:33% size:43% >> STARTS FRIDAY. 00:02:27.981 --> 00:02:30.416 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> SO, AFTER YOU DISCARDED THE OFFICIAL MASSACHUSETTS 00:02:30.483 --> 00:02:32.819 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start CURRICULUM, WHAT DID YOU TEACH YOUR SCIENCE CLASS? 00:02:32.886 --> 00:02:35.421 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start >> WELL, I SIMPLY TOLD MY STUDENTS THAT WHEN YOU STUDY HOW 00:02:35.488 --> 00:02:37.957 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start THE PIECES OF OUR WORLD FIT TOGETHER, IT'S OBVIOUS IT WAS 00:02:38.024 --> 00:02:39.826 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start MADE BY A HIGHER CREATIVE INTELLIGENCE. 00:02:39.893 --> 00:02:44.464 line:79% position:33% size:45% [ JURORS BOOING ] >> HE'S A MONSTER! 00:02:44.531 --> 00:02:45.398 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> NO, PLEASE! 00:02:45.465 --> 00:02:46.566 line:85% position:33% size:45% I DON'T WANT THIS! 00:02:46.633 --> 00:02:47.534 line:85% position:15% size:10% AAH! 00:02:47.600 --> 00:02:48.868 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> NOW RUB IT IN. 00:02:48.935 --> 00:02:50.303 line:85% position:35% size:48% RUB IT IN ALL OVER. 00:02:50.370 --> 00:02:52.438 line:79% position:28% size:33% >> [ CRYING ] >> OH, YEAH. 00:02:52.505 --> 00:02:53.806 line:85% position:33% size:43% THAT'S THE STUFF. 00:02:53.873 --> 00:02:55.775 line:85% position:38% size:53% OH, YEAH, I SMELL IT. 00:02:55.842 --> 00:02:57.544 line:85% position:43% size:65% I CAN SMELL YOU FROM HERE. 00:02:57.610 --> 00:02:58.745 line:85% position:30% size:40% OH, MY GOODNESS. 00:02:58.811 --> 00:03:02.348 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start OH, IF I PUNCTURE YOU, YOU'RE GONNA OOZE JUICES. 00:03:02.415 --> 00:03:04.984 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start >> AND NOW A SNEAK PEEK AT "TRANSFORMERS 3." 00:03:05.051 --> 00:03:06.819 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> YO, DUDE, HAVE YOU SEEN MY TEDDY BEAR? 00:03:06.886 --> 00:03:08.421 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start >> YEAH, MY MOM SAID IT WAS DIRTY. 00:03:08.488 --> 00:03:09.355 line:85% position:35% size:50% SHE WAS CLEANING IT. 00:03:09.422 --> 00:03:11.190 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start >> DUDE, I HAD A BAG OF ANGEL DUST IN THERE! 00:03:11.257 --> 00:03:12.125 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> OH, NO! 00:03:12.191 --> 00:03:13.793 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start >> [ MUNCHING ] >> NO, MOM! 00:03:13.860 --> 00:03:15.895 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start >> BARGAIN GRAVY STARLIGHT PUMPKIN DOLLARS! 00:03:15.962 --> 00:03:16.963 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM! 00:03:17.030 --> 00:03:18.865 line:85% position:45% size:68% MOM, YOU ARE TALKING CRAZY. 00:03:18.932 --> 00:03:21.467 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> AAAAAAAAAH! 00:03:21.534 --> 00:03:22.802 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> MOM! 00:03:22.869 --> 00:03:24.804 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> UNH! 00:03:26.839 --> 00:03:28.908 line:10% position:33% size:43% >> STARTS FRIDAY. 00:03:28.975 --> 00:03:32.145 line:79% position:48% size:73% >> WELL, I'D LIKE TO DO THAT, BUT IT'S AGAINST MY RELIGION, 00:03:32.211 --> 00:03:32.879 line:85% position:23% size:23% YOU KNOW. 00:03:32.946 --> 00:03:34.314 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start >> [ OINKS, SCOFFS ] >> RAAAAAH! 00:03:38.585 --> 00:03:43.756 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start OH! YOU MUST BE HERE FOR THE -- >> RAAAAAAAAH! 00:03:43.823 --> 00:03:47.360 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start HEY, FEEL FREE TO LOOK AROUND AND -- 00:03:47.427 --> 00:03:56.603 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> IF YOU NEED ANY HELP CARRYING THE -- 00:03:56.669 --> 00:04:00.440 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start [ FLAMES WHOOSH ] >> WHO DARES DISTURB THE SLUMBER 00:04:00.506 --> 00:04:01.874 line:85% position:33% size:43% OF THE ANCIENTS?! 00:04:01.941 --> 00:04:04.110 line:79% position:10% size:40% align:start PREPARE TO BE -- OH! 00:04:04.177 --> 00:04:05.178 line:85% position:28% size:35% YOU WANT THAT. 00:04:05.244 --> 00:04:06.412 line:85% position:33% size:43% OH, HEAVENS, YES. 00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:07.547 line:85% position:30% size:38% IT'S ALL YOURS. 00:04:07.614 --> 00:04:10.450 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start IN FACT, IF YOU'D LIKE -- NO WAY! 00:04:10.516 --> 00:04:13.019 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST -- OH, THAT IS -- 00:04:13.086 --> 00:04:14.954 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start THAT'S JUST SPITEFUL IS WHAT THAT IS! 00:04:15.021 --> 00:04:15.755 line:85% position:28% size:35% YOU KNOW WHAT? 00:04:15.822 --> 00:04:16.956 line:85% position:40% size:58% [BLEEP] YOU, ALL RIGHT? 00:04:17.023 --> 00:04:20.293 line:85% position:33% size:43% JUST [BLEEP] YOU! 00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:21.227 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> HELLO, GOVERNOR! 00:04:21.294 --> 00:04:23.229 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start READY FOR A NEW SEASON OF TRACEY ULLMAN'S 00:04:23.296 --> 00:04:24.230 line:85% position:38% size:53% "STATE OF THE UNION"? 00:04:24.297 --> 00:04:25.264 line:85% position:38% size:53% I CAN DO IMPRESSIONS! 00:04:25.331 --> 00:04:26.299 line:85% position:28% size:33% "I AM A JEW." 00:04:26.366 --> 00:04:28.701 line:79% position:35% size:50% "HEY! I'M A CABBIE!" "I'M AN ANGRY LADY!" 00:04:28.768 --> 00:04:30.703 line:85% position:30% size:38% IT'S WONDERFUL! 00:04:33.606 --> 00:04:37.944 line:79% position:43% size:63% [ Slow-motion ] I CREATED "THE SIMPSONS," SORT OF. 00:04:38.011 --> 00:04:43.149 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> THIS SUMMER, PREPARE YOURSELF TO FEEL... 00:04:43.216 --> 00:04:44.751 line:85% position:38% size:53% WITH TOBEY MAGUIRE... 00:04:44.817 --> 00:04:45.918 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> I LOVE YOU, MOM. 00:04:45.985 --> 00:04:47.420 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> ...AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL. 00:04:47.487 --> 00:04:50.990 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> I ALSO LOVE YOU, MOTHER. 00:04:51.057 --> 00:04:53.092 line:10% position:35% size:48% GENE SHALIT SAYS... 00:04:55.895 --> 00:04:56.596 line:10% position:28% size:35% >> I MISS HER. 00:04:56.663 --> 00:04:58.598 line:10% position:43% size:63% >> LEONARD MALTIN SAYS... 00:05:00.233 --> 00:05:01.534 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> I ALSO MISS HER. 00:05:01.601 --> 00:05:10.510 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start >> VIGGO MORTENSEN IN "CARLITO'S WAY" SAYS... 00:05:10.576 --> 00:05:13.680 line:85% position:28% size:33% DON'T MISS... 00:05:13.746 --> 00:05:16.482 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start >> AND NOW A SNEAK PEEK AT "TRANSFORMERS 3." 00:05:16.549 --> 00:05:18.351 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] >> [ Indian accent ] HELLO. 00:05:18.418 --> 00:05:19.352 line:85% position:33% size:43% CUSTOMER SUPPORT. 00:05:19.419 --> 00:05:20.987 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> [ Indian accent ] WHERE IS THE NEAREST DELI? 00:05:21.054 --> 00:05:24.691 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> YOU MEAN AN OLD DELI OR A "NEW DELI"? 00:05:24.757 --> 00:05:26.125 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> THANK YOU! COME AGAIN! 00:05:26.192 --> 00:05:29.762 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start >> WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?! 00:05:29.829 --> 00:05:36.469 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start [ BOLLYWOOD-STYLE MUSIC PLAYS ] >> STARTS FRIDAY. 00:05:36.536 --> 00:05:39.105 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> MUCH APPRECIATE YOU LETTING ME STAY HERE, SON. 00:05:39.172 --> 00:05:42.041 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start I'M SURE THE BANK JUST HAD SOME KIND OF COMPUTER SNAFU. 00:05:42.108 --> 00:05:43.676 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start YOU KNOW, THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. 00:05:43.743 --> 00:05:45.878 line:85% position:50% size:78% I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME. 00:05:45.945 --> 00:05:48.381 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> IF SKELETOR'S ARMY MANAGES TO BREACH THE -- 00:05:48.448 --> 00:05:51.184 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> ADAM! HEY, CHECK IT OUT -- CHEESE AND CRACKERS. 00:05:51.250 --> 00:05:52.385 line:85% position:38% size:55% I CALL 'EM "CHACKERS." 00:05:52.452 --> 00:05:53.786 line:85% position:40% size:60% WHO WANTS SOME CHACKERS? 00:05:53.853 --> 00:05:54.954 line:85% position:28% size:35% OH, THE TOWEL. 00:05:55.021 --> 00:05:57.890 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start WELL, ME AND CHACKERS HERE GET A LITTLE CRUMBY WATCHING MY 00:05:57.957 --> 00:05:59.525 line:85% position:20% size:20% STORIES. 00:05:59.592 --> 00:06:01.027 line:85% position:43% size:63% AH, YOU GUYS ARE WORKING. 00:06:01.094 --> 00:06:02.228 line:85% position:35% size:48% I'LL BE IN THE DEN. 00:06:02.295 --> 00:06:05.098 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> I HAVE THE POWER! 00:06:05.164 --> 00:06:06.999 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> BUT DO YOU HAVE THE REMOTE? 00:06:07.066 --> 00:06:07.834 line:85% position:18% size:15% HA HA! 00:06:07.900 --> 00:06:08.835 line:85% position:33% size:45% I WAS JUST JOKING. 00:06:08.901 --> 00:06:10.336 line:85% position:48% size:75% I THOUGHT IT'D BE, YOU KNOW... 00:06:10.403 --> 00:06:11.771 line:85% position:35% size:50% ANYWAY, YOU'RE BUSY. 00:06:11.838 --> 00:06:15.908 line:79% position:28% size:35% >> [ ROARING ] >> HEY, ADAM! 00:06:15.975 --> 00:06:18.544 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start I CAN'T FIND DISCOVERY CHANNEL FOR THE LIFE OF ME. 00:06:18.611 --> 00:06:19.579 line:85% position:35% size:50% DO WE EVEN GET THAT? 00:06:19.645 --> 00:06:20.580 line:85% position:30% size:40% IT'S SHARK WEEK! 00:06:20.646 --> 00:06:22.448 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start ♪ BUM, BUM, BA ♪ LOVE ME SOME SHARK WEEK. 00:06:22.515 --> 00:06:23.216 line:85% position:30% size:40% NEVER MISSED IT. 00:06:23.282 --> 00:06:24.350 line:85% position:25% size:28% TRUE STORY. 00:06:24.417 --> 00:06:26.219 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start ALL RIGHT, IF YOU THINK OF THE CHANNEL, GIVE ME A LITTLE 00:06:26.285 --> 00:06:26.886 line:85% position:28% size:33% SHOUTY-SHOUT. 00:06:26.953 --> 00:06:28.254 line:85% position:28% size:33% BACK TO WORK. 00:06:28.321 --> 00:06:30.456 line:79% position:25% size:30% >> [ SIGHS ] SACK WHACK! 00:06:30.523 --> 00:06:34.093 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start I'M SURE YOU'LL BE HAPPY HERE, DAD. 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:37.163 line:79% position:45% size:70% >> SO, THIS IS ME PLACING AN ORDER FOR SOME SPICY NACHOS, 00:06:37.230 --> 00:06:39.866 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start SOME GUACAMOLE -- WOULDN'T MIND THAT ON THE SIDE. 00:06:39.932 --> 00:06:42.502 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start IF YOU DON'T MIND, THE MILD KIND, 'CAUSE -- 00:06:42.568 --> 00:06:45.538 line:79% position:50% size:78% >> YOU'LL OBSERVE "LIGHTS OUT," OR I'LL KNOCK YOUR LIGHTS OUT. 00:06:45.605 --> 00:06:47.974 line:85% position:28% size:33% TAKE THAT IN. 00:06:48.040 --> 00:06:50.810 line:79% position:38% size:53% [ DOOR SLAMS, LOCKS ] >> [ INHALES DEEPLY ] 00:06:50.877 --> 00:06:52.678 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start [ SOBBING ] >> THIS MIGHT HURT A BIT. 00:06:59.118 --> 00:06:59.819 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> I DOUBT IT. 00:06:59.886 --> 00:07:02.221 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ SHUDDERS ] >> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 00:07:02.288 --> 00:07:06.225 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start ONCE I TRANSFER MY CONSCIOUSNESS INTO A SMURF BODY, I'LL 00:07:06.292 --> 00:07:09.595 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start INFILTRATE THEIR VILLAGE AND DESTROY THEM ALL. 00:07:09.662 --> 00:07:10.263 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> MEOW? 00:07:10.329 --> 00:07:11.330 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> WILL I WHAT? 00:07:11.397 --> 00:07:12.231 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> MEOW? 00:07:12.298 --> 00:07:14.667 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> WILL I [BLEEP] THEM BEFORE I EAT THEM? 00:07:14.734 --> 00:07:15.701 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> MEOW, MEOW. 00:07:15.768 --> 00:07:16.803 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> OH, COOK! 00:07:16.869 --> 00:07:18.971 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start WILL I COOK THEM BEFORE I EAT THEM? 00:07:19.038 --> 00:07:21.908 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start [ BOTH LAUGH ] 'CAUSE I WAS LIKE, "OH..." 00:07:21.974 --> 00:07:24.911 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start I MEAN, YOU WERE ALMOST LOOKING FOR A NEW APARTMENT, MAN. 00:07:24.977 --> 00:07:26.512 line:85% position:23% size:25% SERIOUSLY. 00:07:26.579 --> 00:07:28.514 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start [ BEEPING ] >> AH, DAMN. LOST ALREADY. 00:07:36.889 --> 00:07:38.791 line:79% position:28% size:35% [ WOLF HOWLS ] WHAT IS THAT?! 00:07:38.858 --> 00:07:40.159 line:85% position:30% size:40% A WOLF?! A FOX?! 00:07:40.226 --> 00:07:44.530 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start SOME OTHER "PARTY OF FIVE" ACTOR?! 00:07:44.597 --> 00:07:47.200 line:85% position:38% size:53% AND IT'S OUT OF HERE! 00:07:47.266 --> 00:07:49.869 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start [ IMITATES CROWD CHEERING ] YES, NOW, WHERE WAS I? 00:07:49.936 --> 00:07:51.871 line:85% position:35% size:48% OH, YES, TERRIFIED. 00:07:56.142 --> 00:07:57.777 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE BLURRING OUT. 00:07:57.844 --> 00:08:00.246 line:85% position:43% size:65% SMURFS DON'T HAVE NIPPLES. 00:08:00.313 --> 00:08:03.583 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start [ POP! ] NOT AROUSING. 00:08:03.649 --> 00:08:05.251 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> A NEW SMURF? 00:08:05.318 --> 00:08:06.752 line:85% position:28% size:33% MOST UNUSUAL. 00:08:06.819 --> 00:08:08.487 line:85% position:45% size:70% WHAT IS YOUR NAME, OUTSIDER? 00:08:08.554 --> 00:08:09.989 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> GARGAM-- GARGA-- UH... 00:08:10.056 --> 00:08:10.990 line:85% position:28% size:33% GARGLE SMURF. 00:08:11.057 --> 00:08:11.991 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> OH, REALLY? 00:08:12.058 --> 00:08:14.894 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start WELL, TELL ME -- HOW DID YOU SMURF THAT NAME? 00:08:14.961 --> 00:08:18.664 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> IF YOU'RE ASKING WHETHER I WILL GARGLE YOUR BALLS, SIR, THE 00:08:18.731 --> 00:08:19.632 line:85% position:28% size:33% ANSWER IS NO. 00:08:19.699 --> 00:08:20.666 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> WHA-- MOI? 00:08:20.733 --> 00:08:22.101 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT WASN'T WHAT I MEANT AT ALL. 00:08:22.168 --> 00:08:23.502 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> MORE LIKE CLOSET SMURF! 00:08:23.569 --> 00:08:24.871 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> THEN IT'S SETTLED. 00:08:24.937 --> 00:08:28.407 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start GARGLE SMURF MUST PASS OUR TESTS TO BECOME A MEMBER OF OUR 00:08:28.474 --> 00:08:29.175 line:85% position:20% size:20% VILLAGE. 00:08:29.242 --> 00:08:32.044 line:79% position:33% size:43% [ ALL CHEERING ] AND VANITY'S GAY. 00:08:32.111 --> 00:08:35.781 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start [ ALL CHEERING ] >> "SMURF" IS NOT ONLY A NOUN 00:08:35.848 --> 00:08:38.951 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start BUT ALSO A VERB, ADJECTIVE, ADSMURF, AND A DANGLING 00:08:39.018 --> 00:08:39.919 line:85% position:28% size:33% PARTISMURFLE. 00:08:39.986 --> 00:08:40.920 line:85% position:25% size:30% NOW YOU TRY. 00:08:40.987 --> 00:08:42.355 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> UH, THE SMURF... 00:08:42.421 --> 00:08:43.089 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> YES. 00:08:43.155 --> 00:08:44.257 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> ...SMURFED... 00:08:44.323 --> 00:08:45.091 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> MM-HMM. 00:08:45.157 --> 00:08:46.759 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> ...IN A VERY SMURFY... 00:08:46.826 --> 00:08:48.227 line:85% position:18% size:15% >> MM. 00:08:48.294 --> 00:08:49.061 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> ...SMURF. 00:08:49.128 --> 00:08:51.230 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING! 00:08:51.297 --> 00:08:54.533 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> NOW YOU MUST TAME YOUR VERY OWN SMURF-EATING BIRD. 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:56.636 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start >> DID SOMEBODY SAY "SMURF-EATING?" 00:08:56.702 --> 00:08:57.703 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> Both: SHUT UP! 00:08:57.770 --> 00:09:01.474 line:79% position:10% size:35% align:start [ ZING! ] [ BIRD ROARS ] 00:09:01.540 --> 00:09:04.911 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> YOU CAN DO IT, GARGLE! 00:09:04.977 --> 00:09:06.345 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> I SMURFED IT! 00:09:06.412 --> 00:09:07.546 line:85% position:28% size:33% I SMURFED IT! 00:09:07.613 --> 00:09:10.583 line:85% position:33% size:45% AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! 00:09:10.650 --> 00:09:13.586 line:85% position:20% size:20% AAAAAAH! 00:09:13.653 --> 00:09:16.589 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start IT'S TRYING TO FEED ME TO ITS YOUNG. 00:09:16.656 --> 00:09:18.824 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start [ GRUNTING ] [ BONES CRACKING ] 00:09:18.891 --> 00:09:20.626 line:85% position:40% size:58% YEAH, YOU WON'T GET ME. 00:09:20.693 --> 00:09:23.329 line:79% position:30% size:40% [ ALL CHEERING ] >> I'M SO PROUD! 00:09:23.396 --> 00:09:26.599 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start YOUR BIRD ACCEPTED YOU AS ONE OF ITS VERY OWN CHILDREN. 00:09:26.666 --> 00:09:29.769 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start DID YOU BOND WITH YOUR NEW BROTHERS AND SISTERS? 00:09:29.835 --> 00:09:30.937 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> I SURE DID. 00:09:31.003 --> 00:09:33.172 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start >> ♪ CHUM, YUM YUM ♪ ♪ CHUM YUM ♪ 00:09:33.239 --> 00:09:36.409 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start ♪ CHUM, YUM YUM ♪ >> SMURFETTE, I HAVE A 00:09:36.475 --> 00:09:37.410 line:85% position:25% size:28% CONFESSION. 00:09:37.476 --> 00:09:38.477 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> A WHAT? 00:09:38.544 --> 00:09:40.046 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> A SMURFESSION. 00:09:40.112 --> 00:09:41.113 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> OH, MY. 00:09:41.180 --> 00:09:43.683 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> I'M NOT REALLY GARGLE SMURF. 00:09:43.749 --> 00:09:46.185 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start I'M -- I'M GARGAMEL. 00:09:46.252 --> 00:09:49.021 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start [ RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES ] [ SMURFS HISSING ] 00:09:49.088 --> 00:09:50.022 line:85% position:25% size:28% WAIT, WAIT! 00:09:50.089 --> 00:09:52.291 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start I SEE HOW WRONG I WAS ALL THESE YEARS! 00:09:52.358 --> 00:09:53.426 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> LET'S HEAR HIM OUT! 00:09:53.492 --> 00:09:54.393 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> HEAR HIM OUT? 00:09:54.460 --> 00:09:56.796 line:85% position:48% size:75% HE ATE FARMER SMURF LAST YEAR! 00:09:56.862 --> 00:10:00.866 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> IN MY OTHER BODY, I WAS BITTER AND OLD, BUT HERE, I'VE 00:10:00.933 --> 00:10:03.002 line:85% position:48% size:75% LEARNED WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE. 00:10:03.069 --> 00:10:05.404 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> All: AWWWWWW! 00:10:05.471 --> 00:10:09.275 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start >> CAN YOU FIND IT IN YOUR HEARTS...TO LOVE ME? 00:10:09.342 --> 00:10:10.343 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> All: AWWWW! 00:10:10.409 --> 00:10:13.446 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> PEOPLE, HE BEAT CLUMSY TO DEATH WITH A PIPE! 00:10:13.512 --> 00:10:16.182 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start >> OH, YOU'RE GOING TO BE A GREAT SMURF. 00:10:16.248 --> 00:10:19.051 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> SMURFETTE, I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I BELONG! 00:10:19.118 --> 00:10:21.954 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start NO ONE'S EVER DEPENDED ON ME BEFORE. 00:10:22.021 --> 00:10:32.932 line:10% position:10% size:60% align:start [ FLIES BUZZING ] [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 00:10:32.999 --> 00:10:35.301 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] >> HEY, SON! 00:10:35.368 --> 00:10:36.836 line:85% position:18% size:15% HEY... 00:10:36.902 --> 00:10:38.337 line:85% position:38% size:53% I DON'T LIKE IT HERE. 00:10:38.404 --> 00:10:40.139 line:85% position:43% size:65% I, UH...WANT TO COME HOME. 00:10:40.206 --> 00:10:41.374 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> DAD... 00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:43.976 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> NO, NO, NO, BEFORE YOU GO ON, LOOK, I KNOW I MESSED UP, BUT 00:10:44.043 --> 00:10:46.946 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY -- A MAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE, AND, 00:10:47.013 --> 00:10:49.849 line:79% position:45% size:70% UH, WELL, ADAM, MY CASTLE'S FILLED WITH DEATH AND URINE. 00:10:49.915 --> 00:10:51.784 line:85% position:40% size:60% SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY? 00:10:51.851 --> 00:10:54.453 line:10% position:10% size:70% align:start CAN DEAR OLD DAD GET HIS OLD ROOM BACK? HUH? 00:10:54.520 --> 00:10:57.189 line:10% position:50% size:78% I MEAN, LOOK, I'LL -- I'LL GIVE UP THE "PUTTING MY FEET ON THE 00:10:57.256 --> 00:10:59.158 line:10% position:10% size:73% align:start TABLE," I'LL TELL CHACKERS TO TAKE A HIKE. 00:10:59.225 --> 00:11:01.861 line:10% position:50% size:78% YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FELL OFF THE STRUCTURE AND YOU HAD THOSE 00:11:01.927 --> 00:11:04.363 line:10% position:10% size:75% align:start STITCHES, AND -- AND I RAN YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? 00:11:04.430 --> 00:11:04.997 line:10% position:15% size:10% HMM? 00:11:05.064 --> 00:11:06.132 line:10% position:28% size:33% OKAY, GUILTY. 00:11:06.198 --> 00:11:09.268 line:10% position:10% size:73% align:start THAT WAS "KRAMER vs. KRAMER," BUT WE SAW IT TOGETHER. 00:11:09.335 --> 00:11:10.770 line:10% position:10% size:70% align:start OKAY, LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS ONE. 00:11:10.836 --> 00:11:13.439 line:10% position:10% size:73% align:start ♪ THE CAT'S IN THE CRADLE AND YOUR DAD IS SCARED ♪ 00:11:13.506 --> 00:11:15.174 line:10% position:18% size:13% OKAY? 00:11:15.241 --> 00:11:17.009 line:10% position:28% size:35% ARE YOU THERE? 00:11:17.076 --> 00:11:18.411 line:10% position:48% size:75% IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE WORKING. 00:11:18.477 --> 00:11:19.745 line:10% position:20% size:20% ARE YOU? 00:11:19.812 --> 00:11:21.680 line:10% position:38% size:53% YEAH, YOU'RE WORKING. 00:11:21.747 --> 00:11:23.983 line:10% position:28% size:80% align:start ALL RIGHT, GIVE US A JINGLE BACK IF YOU GET A CHANCE. 00:11:24.050 --> 00:11:25.751 line:10% position:48% size:73% I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, ADAM. 00:11:25.818 --> 00:11:27.753 line:10% position:33% size:43% THIS IS YOUR DAD.