[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> ♪ I WANNA ROCK ♪ >> THE STRAWBERRIES TASTE LIKE
STRAWBERRIES.
THE SNOZZBERRIES TASTE LIKE SNOZZBERRIES.
>> EW! PBHT!
THESE CARROTS TASTE MUSKY.
>> OUT! DAMN OOMPA-LOOMPAS!
>> HELLO, MY DEAR.
>> HELLO, FATHER.
>> AND WHAT DOES THE DAY HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU TODAY?
>> WELL, I WANTED TO PLAY HOPSCOTCH, BUT MARIE WANTS TO
PLAY SKIPPING.
>> DIDN'T YOU PLAY HOPSCOTCH YESTERDAY?
>> YES, AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
>> WELL, IF YOU ASK ME, SKIPPING CAN BE JUST AS MUCH FUN.
>> BABAR, THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN!
>> OH, YOU HEATHENS!
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] FOLLOW ME!
RUN! RUN!
UNHAND HER!
>> VIVE LA REVOLUTION!
>> [ TRUMPETS ] >> NO, NO, NO!
>> AAH!
>> SAVE US.
[ TRUMPETS ] >> AAH!
>> [ SCREECHES ] >> ANY LAST WORDS?
>> [ TRUMPETS ] [ CROWD CHEERING ]
>> HEY, WHAT'S UP?
UM, LISTEN, I KNOW THINGS GOT A LITTLE CRAZY LAST NIGHT, BUT I'D
REALLY LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> OH, GOSH!
UH, YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND STUFF.
>> OH, SURE, SURE, YEAH.
I'M VERY BUSY, TOO.
UM, BUT, I MEAN, I-I'VE SLIME-VIOLATED A LOT OF ORIFICES
WITH A LOT OF HOTTIES IN MY DAY, AND -- AND, UM, YOU KNOW, LAST
NIGHT WAS THE FIRST TIME IT REALLY MEANT ANYTHING TO ME.
SO, UM, MAYBE...
YOU...
MAYBE WE'LL GO...SEE A MOVIE OR SOMETHING.
>> OKAY, LOOK, I'LL BE HONEST.
THERE IS NO WAY MY DAD WILL LET ME DATE A TENTACLE MONSTER.
>> I'm saying that I think I love you!
>> WOW!
ALL RIGHT!
UH, I HAVE HOMEWORK, SO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, OKAY?
>> OH! STUPID!
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] >> MARY LOU!
LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE FOR THE PAPER!
[ SCREAMING ] >> AN AVERAGE TEENAGE BOY BITTEN
BY A RADIOACTIVE WHITE-TAILED DEER.
HIS LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS.
>> HUH.
YEAH! YEAH!
YEAH!
>> I'M A MUGGER!
GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!
UGH!
>> KID VENISON!
TO BE A HERO, HE'LL RISK EVERYTHING HE HOLDS "DEAR."
>> YOU'RE VERY DIFFERENT, PERRY -- LIKE, SKITTISH.
>> HA! THAT'S ABSURD.
>> [ BACKFIRES ] >> AAH!
>> KID VENISON!
>> NOW IT'S TIME TO POACH SOME POACHERS.
[ HORN HONKS, TIRES SCREECH ] >> KID VENISON!
>> HEY, BOY, PULL MY FINGER.
[ FARTING ] [ LAUGHS ]
[ FARTING CONTINUES ] WHOA!
LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!
LET GO! LET GO!
WHOA!
>> HEY, DUDE, WHAT DO YOU THINK BUD BUNDY'S UP TO RIGHT NOW?
[ LAUGHS ] DAVID [BLEEP] FAUSTINO, BRO!
[ GUNSHOT ] [ ALL SCREAMING ]
>> I TOLD YOU WE'D LIBERATE PAKISTAN, SAMIR.
BUT FIRST I HAD TO LIBERATE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR SHOULDERS.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ] >> David, baby.
It's your agent.
Listen, Apatow wants you for the lead in his new movie.
>> PASS.
I'M ALREADY PLAYING A LEAD.
THE MOVIE IS DEMOCRACY.
MY CHARACTER -- PATRIOTISM.
>> MMM.
THANKS FOR DINNER, BABY.
HOPE YOU LEFT ROOM TO NURSE.
>> YEAH, YOU TOO, DOLL.
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR MOUTH.
>> BOOGIE-BOOGIE!
>> OOH! O.J. SIMPSON?!
>> GONNA GET CUT, BITCH.
>> [ CRYING ] [ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
>> EXCUSE ME.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
>> OH, SURE.
HELP YOURSELF.
>> WOMEN, HUH?
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT 'EM.
OR CAN YOU?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> MY JESSICA'S A CHEATING BITCH, BUT I COULD NEVER KILL
HER.
I'D BE THE PRIME SUSPECT.
>> I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU.
>> BUT IF WE KILL EACH OTHER'S WIVES, JEEPERS!
IT WOULD BE THE P-P-P-PERFECT CRIME!
>> WELL, NICE TALKING TO YOU, I GUESS, BUT I REALLY MUST BE
GOING.
>> OH, I GOT YOU.
>> WHAT?
>> I GOT YOU.
>> NICOLE!
I BROUGHT YOU YOUR CHILD SUPPORT.
I KNOW IT'S A FEW WEEKS EARLY, BUT YOU KNOW HOW COMPLETELY NOT
BITTER I AM ABOUT THE DIVORCE.
>> OH, HEY, THERE!
>> OH, MY!
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
>> WHAT DID I DO?
WE HAD A DEAL.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO KILL MY WIFE.
>> I CAN'T TAKE THE LIFE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
>> P-P-P-PLEASE?
>> NO!
>> B-B-B-BUT WE HAD A DEAL, SEE?
YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME WHEN I'M STEAMED!
[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ] TAKE CARE OF MY WIFE, OR IT'S
CURTAINS FOR YOU!
>> OH, NO!
>> ...TO NURSE.
>> YEAH, YOU TOO, DOLL.
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR MOUTH.
>> BOOGIE-BOOGIE!
>> OOH! O.J. SIMPSON?!
>> GONNA GET CUT, BITCH!
>> [ CRYING ] >> IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF
TOWN.
YOUR HUSBAND'S TRYING TO KILL YOU.
>> DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA!
I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOUR KIND.
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
>> REAL PEOPLE!
I MEANT REAL PEOPLE!
>> [ GRUNTING ] YOU KILLER! DIE!
DIE, YOU KILLIN' KILLER!
TAKE THAT! AND THAT!
AND SOME OF THIS!
OOH, YEAH!
HEY, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU SQUEEZE THE JUICE.
>> SO, WHEN YOU SAID, "YOU GONNA GET CUT, BITCH," IT WAS A
WARNING, NOT A THREAT?
>> YOU GOT IT!
>> WHY'D YOU HAVE TO CALL HER A BITCH?
>> AND THAT'S HOW I TRACKED DOWN YOUR GAMMY'S REAL KILLER.
>> [ CRYING ] >> SOMETHING MUST HAVE SPOOKED
THE BOY.
>> OH, HE CAN JUST SENSE EVIL.
THAT'S ALL.
>> THERE'S BEEN A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT.
>> OSCAR, BRING YOUR SHOVEL AND A CAN OF GASOLINE.
>> NO, I WANT YOU TO REBUILD HER, LIKE YOU DID ME.
>> STEVE, YOUR BIONICS COST US $6 MILLION.
WE CAN'T JU-- >> COME ON!
YOU HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY.
YOU SAY IT ALL THE TIME.
"STEVE, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY."
YOU WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
>> AH [BLEEP] IT.
PUT HER ON THE TABLE.
>> HA! GREAT!
NOW, WHILE YOU'RE IN THERE, I HAD A FEW IDEAS MYSELF.
[ MONITOR BEEPING ] >> NOW, JAMIE, DON'T BE ALARMED.
WE'VE REBUILT YOU.
YOU ARE NOW A BIONIC WOMAN!
>> WAIT.
WAIT.
DID YOU GIVE ME BREAST IMPLANTS?
>> OH, UH, THAT'S WHERE WE PUT YOUR BATTERIES.
STEVE SAID YOU HAD ROOM TO SPARE.
[ WHIRRING ] >> MY -- MY ARM.
I CAN'T FEEL MY ARM!
>> RELAX, RELAX.
IT'S NOW COMPLETELY ROBOTIC.
LET ME JUST FIRE IT UP FOR YOU.
>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
>> OH, STEVE SAID YOUR ARM GETS TIRED WHEN YOU...POLISH STUFF.
>> WE ALSO REINFORCED YOUR KNEES.
YOU COULD BE ON THEM FOR HOURS WITHOUT GETTING SORE.
>> I WANT TO TALK TO STEVE!
>> RIGHT HERE, BABY.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, WOW!
GREAT JOB, GOLDMAN!
OHH, DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO FIX HER NOSE, HUH?
>> YOU SON OF A BITCH!
YOU MADE ME INTO A MONSTER!
>> OHH!
HEY, IS SHE ON THE RAG?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA TIE HER TUBES.
>> I'LL [BLEEP] KILL YOU!
[ MONITOR BEEPING ] >> OH, GOD!
I'VE SPENT MY LIFE CREATING BIONIC FRANKENSTEINS.
NOW THE SHOE'S ON THE OTHER FOOT.
>> WE'RE ALIVE, BUT WE'LL BE MORE MACHINE THAN MAN.
THE IRONY IS -- WELL, IT'S PALPABLE.
>> WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU'RE NOT MUCH MORE THAN HEAD AND STOMACH
RIGHT NOW.
YOU WON'T LIVE THROUGH THE NIGHT.
>> HEY, BUT YOU CAN REBUILD US, RIGHT?
>> NO.
>> YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY?
>> [ Laughing ] NO!
>> BOO!
>> AAH!
[ GRUNTING ] >> [ LAUGHING ]
>> MOTHER[BLEEP] YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?
YOU THINK IT'S [BLEEP] FUNNY?!
YEAH, THIS IS [BLEEP] FUNNY!
YEAH!
WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, STUPID?!
HUH?! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!
HA HA!
>> UH...WELL, THIS IS A LITTLE UNPRECEDENTED.
>> WHO'S MY SPECIAL ANGEL?
WHO'S MY SPECIAL JOY?
>> [ VOMITS ] >> GEEZ, KID, YOU'RE SUCH A
BUZZKILL.
>> COME WITH ME, THE TERMINATOR BABY, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.
>> YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ] >> DON'T YOU ANSWER THAT!
I WILL ANSWER THE DOOR IN THIS HERE SITUATION HERE.
OH, NO!
SKYNET HAS SENT BACK THE TERMINATOR PUPPY!
AAH!
>> AND NOW WE FIGHT WITH THE FIST, AND IT WILL BE A BIG
FIGHT!
>> YOU ARE RIDICULOUS!
COME ON!
>> WAIT FOR ME!
I GOT THE LITTLE BABY LEGS!
[ BEEPING ] THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA,
SARAH CONNOR!
OH, NO!
YOU GOT TO CHANGE ME!
QUICKLY, THERE.
TAKE OFF THE DIAPER.
>> HOLD STILL.
>> NOW CLEAN THE POO.
>> I'M TRYING.
>> THE BABY POWDER!
>> STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
>> ...MY GIGANTIC BABY BALLS.
>> LET'S GO.
>> GO! GO! GO!
GO, GO, GO!
AAH!
AAAAH!
AAH!
YEAH! YEAH!
OKAY, GOOD, GOOD.
YEAH. OH.
UGH!
[ GRUNTING ] AAH!
YOU HAVE BEEN A NAUGHTY PUPPY!
UGH!
AAAH!
>> KOO KOO KA CHOO TO YOU, THE TERMINATOR PUPPY.
UGH!
AAAH!
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IS IT OVER?
>> YEAH.
I'M THINKING I NEED A LITTLE BABY VACATION.
OHH, THAT'S SO NICE.
NOW I KNOW THE HUMAN FEELINGS OF THE FAMILY AND THE LOVE AND THE
HUG -- [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
>> AGAIN, WE'VE THWARTED SKYNET, AND JOHN IS FREE TO GROW UP TO
BE THE SAVIOR OF MANKIND.
I THINK SKYNET IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS FOR TERMINATORS AT THIS
POINT, BUT IF A BABY TERMINATOR CAN LEARN TO LOVE, THEN MAYBE
THERE IS HOPE FOR -- HOLY [BLEEP]
[ CRASH ] >> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK.
>> ♪ I WANNA ROCK ♪ [ CRICKET CHIRPING ]
OH, COME ON!
>> I CAN'T APPLAUD ANY LOUDER THAN THIS.