WEBVTT X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000 00:00:03.370 --> 00:00:05.572 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start >> PREVIOUSLY ON "ROBOT CHICKEN," Y'ALL... 00:00:05.638 --> 00:00:08.007 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> NOT ENOUGH OF YOU HAVE BEEN CALLING IN TO SUPPORT US GETTING 00:00:08.074 --> 00:00:10.276 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start A THIRD SEASON, BUT WE'RE GONNA CHANGE ALL THAT RIGHT NOW. 00:00:10.343 --> 00:00:13.179 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start MATT, GIVE ME THE -- OH! YOU SHOT THE BLOOPERS HOST! 00:00:13.246 --> 00:00:15.582 line:79% position:28% size:80% align:start >> SETH, LISTEN -- THEY LIKE THE VIOLENCE. 00:00:15.648 --> 00:00:18.017 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start [ GUN COCKS, FIRES ] >> OH! WE CAN'T HAVE A THIRD 00:00:18.084 --> 00:00:19.886 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start SEASON IF WE DON'T HAVE ANY WRITERS! 00:00:19.953 --> 00:00:21.321 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> THEY LOVE US! 00:00:21.388 --> 00:00:22.722 line:85% position:35% size:48% VIOLENCE! BLEEDING! 00:00:22.789 --> 00:00:28.628 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start [ GUNSHOTS ] DIE! 00:00:28.695 --> 00:00:31.030 line:85% position:15% size:10% DIE! 00:00:31.097 --> 00:00:33.032 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ WOLF HOWLING ] 00:00:45.645 --> 00:00:47.680 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> RATINGS ARE THROUGH THE ROOF, BITCHES. 00:00:47.747 --> 00:00:48.815 line:85% position:45% size:70% WE'RE FIXING TO RENEW Y'ALL. 00:00:48.882 --> 00:00:50.650 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> THAT'S WHAT THE [BLEEP] I'M TALKING ABOUT! 00:00:50.717 --> 00:00:52.252 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> BUT AT WHAT COST? 00:00:52.318 --> 00:00:53.453 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> YOU SAY SOMETHING, KEITH? 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:54.621 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> NO, I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 00:00:54.687 --> 00:00:55.889 line:85% position:15% size:10% AAH! 00:00:55.955 --> 00:00:56.790 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> GRAVY CORN BREAD! 00:00:56.856 --> 00:00:58.591 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> HOLY [BLEEP] ASS CRACKERS! 00:00:58.658 --> 00:01:00.460 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start >> OH [BLEEP] >> COME ON, COME ON! 00:01:00.527 --> 00:01:01.661 line:85% position:20% size:20% COME ON! 00:01:01.728 --> 00:01:03.997 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> AAAAAH! 00:01:04.063 --> 00:01:06.499 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start [ ALL GROANING ] >> DANG IT, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? 00:01:06.566 --> 00:01:07.434 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> I'VE GOT AN IDEA. 00:01:07.500 --> 00:01:08.535 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> AAH! YOU RATTLESNAKE! 00:01:08.601 --> 00:01:10.804 line:85% position:23% size:23% AAH! OHH! 00:01:10.870 --> 00:01:11.938 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> YES! 00:01:12.005 --> 00:01:16.342 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ] N-O-O-O-O! 00:01:16.409 --> 00:01:18.344 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start [ ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYS ] N-O-O-O-O! 00:01:23.583 --> 00:01:26.953 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start [ ALL GROANING ] [ CELLPHONE RINGS TO THE TUNE OF 00:01:27.020 --> 00:01:29.389 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start "THRILLER"-LIKE MUSIC ] OH, WAIT A SECOND. 00:01:29.456 --> 00:01:31.257 line:85% position:33% size:45% OH, IT'S JUST MOM. 00:01:31.324 --> 00:01:33.259 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start [ MUSIC INTENSIFIES ] [ MUSIC STOPS ] 00:01:41.935 --> 00:01:44.604 line:85% position:15% size:8% NO! 00:01:44.671 --> 00:01:47.607 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start [ ALL GROANING ] L-L-LOOK AT THE NEW CONTRACT! 00:01:47.674 --> 00:01:48.942 line:85% position:40% size:58% WE GET HEALTH BENEFITS! 00:01:49.008 --> 00:01:51.845 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start OH, NO, GOD, PLEASE DON'T EAT MY BRAINS. 00:01:51.911 --> 00:01:55.648 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] >> [ SIGHS ] 00:01:55.715 --> 00:01:57.150 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start IT SMELLS LIKE WET GARBAGE IN HERE. 00:01:57.217 --> 00:01:58.751 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> YO, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT FOR LUNCH TODAY? 00:01:58.818 --> 00:02:00.153 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> BRAINS! 00:02:00.220 --> 00:02:01.454 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> SUBWAY! 00:02:01.521 --> 00:02:02.455 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> BRAINS IT IS. 00:02:02.522 --> 00:02:04.657 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> OH, I HATE BRAINS. 00:02:04.724 --> 00:02:06.759 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND. 00:02:06.826 --> 00:02:10.129 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> WHERE ALL YOUR FANTASIES WILL COME TRUE! 00:02:10.196 --> 00:02:12.232 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> THEN WHY ARE YOU A MIDGET? 00:02:12.298 --> 00:02:14.133 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> FLASH GORDON! 00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:15.535 line:85% position:25% size:30% THE PHANTOM! 00:02:15.602 --> 00:02:17.070 line:85% position:38% size:55% MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN! 00:02:17.136 --> 00:02:19.506 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start THESE THREE HEROES, UNITED BY A QUEST FOR JUSTICE AND THE 00:02:19.572 --> 00:02:21.741 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start COINCIDENCE THAT THEY'RE ALL OWNED BY KING FEATURES 00:02:21.808 --> 00:02:25.812 line:79% position:50% size:78% SYNDICATE, NOW DEFEND THE EARTH AS THE DEFENDERS OF THE EARTH! 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:27.814 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> [ Echoing ] EARTH! 00:02:32.252 --> 00:02:33.486 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> WHAM! HA HA! 00:02:33.553 --> 00:02:35.154 line:85% position:23% size:25% TAKE THAT! 00:02:35.221 --> 00:02:37.290 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> OW! OW! OW! 00:02:37.357 --> 00:02:40.493 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> WATCH ME PULL SOME KICK-ASS OUT OF MY HAT! 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:42.795 line:85% position:48% size:75% NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DON'T! 00:02:42.862 --> 00:02:45.832 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> AAH! I ACTUALLY LIVE ON THIS BLOCK! 00:02:45.899 --> 00:02:47.834 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> All: DEFENDERS OF THE EARTH! 00:02:47.901 --> 00:02:51.004 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> HELP! DEFENDERS OF THE EARTH, A KILLER ASTEROID'S ABOUT TO 00:02:51.070 --> 00:02:53.473 line:85% position:25% size:30% WIPE US OUT! 00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:54.541 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> UH... 00:02:54.607 --> 00:02:56.509 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start WE'RE JUST THE NEIGHBORHOOD-WATCH ASSOCIATION. 00:02:56.576 --> 00:02:58.678 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> THE MOST BAD-ASS NEIGHBORHOOD-WATCH ASSOCIATION 00:02:58.745 --> 00:02:59.612 line:85% position:33% size:43% ON THE EAST SIDE. 00:02:59.679 --> 00:03:00.613 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> BOO-YAH! 00:03:00.680 --> 00:03:03.082 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> THAT WHOLE EARTH/ASTEROID THING? 00:03:03.149 --> 00:03:04.417 line:85% position:35% size:48% NOT REALLY OUR BAG. 00:03:04.484 --> 00:03:05.418 line:85% position:23% size:23% BUT LOOK! 00:03:05.485 --> 00:03:07.854 line:85% position:48% size:75% THERE'S A QUARTER IN YOUR EAR! 00:03:07.921 --> 00:03:10.156 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start [ GASPS ] >> BUT YOU'RE THE DEFENDERS OF 00:03:10.223 --> 00:03:11.324 line:85% position:23% size:25% THE EARTH. 00:03:11.391 --> 00:03:13.459 line:79% position:28% size:80% align:start >> WELL, PART OF THE EARTH -- IF YOU LIVE ON BRENNER DRIVE 00:03:13.526 --> 00:03:15.695 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start BETWEEN WELLS AVENUE AND ROUTE 9W. 00:03:15.762 --> 00:03:16.996 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> TO THE CUL-DE-SAC! 00:03:17.063 --> 00:03:18.865 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> All: DEFENDERS OF THE EARTH! 00:03:18.932 --> 00:03:21.534 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> BUT -- BUT -- THE...EARTH... 00:03:24.871 --> 00:03:26.806 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start [ EXHALING ] >> ♪ SHOUT ON ♪ 00:03:29.008 --> 00:03:29.842 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> DAMN LIGHT! 00:03:29.909 --> 00:03:32.011 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start >> ♪ SHOUT OFF ♪ >> [BLEEP] TELEVISION! 00:03:32.078 --> 00:03:34.213 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> ♪ THE SHOUTER ♪ >> LET'S YOU TURN ANYTHING ON 00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:36.549 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start AND OFF FROM ANYWHERE IN THE ROOM WITH A HIGH-VOLUME 00:03:36.616 --> 00:03:37.383 line:85% position:28% size:33% VOCALIZATION. 00:03:37.450 --> 00:03:38.785 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> BULL [BLEEP] WEATHER! 00:03:38.851 --> 00:03:41.354 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> JUST PLUG IT IN TO CONTROL THE LIGHTS, TV -- ALMOST 00:03:41.421 --> 00:03:42.221 line:85% position:23% size:23% ANYTHING. 00:03:42.288 --> 00:03:44.023 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start >> ♪ SHOUT ON ♪ >> [BLEEP] CHRISTMAS! 00:03:44.090 --> 00:03:46.059 line:79% position:30% size:40% >> ♪ SHOUT OFF ♪ >> KILL MYSELF! 00:03:46.125 --> 00:03:50.063 line:79% position:28% size:80% align:start >> ♪ SHOUT ON, SHOUT OFF ♪ >> MY KIDS LEFT ME ALONE TO DIE! 00:03:50.129 --> 00:03:52.665 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> ♪ THE SHOUTER ♪ >> WHEW! IT'LL BE NICE TO HAVE 00:03:52.732 --> 00:03:54.100 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start THIS ULTIMATE DEATH RAY FINISHED. 00:03:54.167 --> 00:03:56.302 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> LET'S JUST HOPE IT DOESN'T FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS. 00:03:56.369 --> 00:03:57.503 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> WANT TO HIT QUIZNO'S? 00:03:57.570 --> 00:03:58.037 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> WORD. 00:03:58.104 --> 00:04:01.207 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> AWESOME. 00:04:01.274 --> 00:04:04.611 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> MEGATRON, THE ULTIMATE DEATH RAY IS ALMOST COMPLETE. 00:04:04.677 --> 00:04:06.946 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> EXCELLENT, SOUNDWAVE. 00:04:07.013 --> 00:04:11.718 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start NOW MONITOR THEIR PROGRESS BY HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT! 00:04:11.784 --> 00:04:14.821 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> UNDERSTOOD. 00:04:14.887 --> 00:04:16.089 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> JUST LET ME GRAB MY WALLET. 00:04:16.155 --> 00:04:18.191 line:79% position:43% size:63% >> OH, YOU'D FORGET YOUR TESTICLES IF THEY WEREN'T 00:04:18.257 --> 00:04:20.393 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start TETHERED BY THE VAS DEFERENS TO YOUR SEMINAL VESICLE. 00:04:20.460 --> 00:04:22.195 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start [ LAUGHS ] >> HEY, LOOK AT THIS THING. 00:04:22.262 --> 00:04:23.663 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> WHO'S GOT A BOOM BOX ANYMORE? 00:04:23.730 --> 00:04:25.131 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> HEY, LOOK AT ME! 00:04:25.198 --> 00:04:26.399 line:85% position:35% size:48% I'M LL COOL J, HUH? 00:04:26.466 --> 00:04:27.400 line:85% position:33% size:45% ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! 00:04:27.467 --> 00:04:28.701 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> CHIKA-CHIKA TAM BAM! 00:04:28.768 --> 00:04:29.702 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> OH, WHAT'S THAT? 00:04:29.769 --> 00:04:32.138 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> OH, MY FREAKIN' GOD, IT'S A MIX TAPE! 00:04:32.205 --> 00:04:33.406 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> LAME! WOW! 00:04:33.473 --> 00:04:34.607 line:85% position:50% size:78% HEY, WHAT'D YOU DO THIS SUMMER? 00:04:34.674 --> 00:04:37.210 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> I TOTALLY CRIED MY EYES OUT, AND THEN I MASTURBATED. 00:04:37.276 --> 00:04:38.378 line:85% position:20% size:18% MY GOD! 00:04:38.444 --> 00:04:40.246 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ACTUALLY USED TO BE A VIABLE FORMAT? 00:04:40.313 --> 00:04:41.748 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> LOOK AT ME -- STREAMERS! 00:04:41.814 --> 00:04:42.482 line:85% position:25% size:30% I'M A CLOWN! 00:04:42.548 --> 00:04:43.549 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 00:04:43.616 --> 00:04:44.617 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> RUMBLE! 00:04:44.684 --> 00:04:45.818 line:85% position:38% size:55% YOU'RE KILLING RUMBLE! 00:04:45.885 --> 00:04:48.855 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> IF BY "RUMBLE" YOU MEAN "YOUR WEAK-ASS MIX TAPE OF PUSSY 00:04:48.921 --> 00:04:50.857 line:85% position:50% size:78% PUSSNESS," THEN I GUESS WE ARE. 00:04:50.923 --> 00:04:53.426 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> RUMBLE, TRANSFORM! 00:04:53.493 --> 00:04:55.194 line:85% position:23% size:25% TRANSFORM! 00:04:55.261 --> 00:04:57.497 line:85% position:30% size:40% OH, N-O-O-O-O-O! 00:04:57.563 --> 00:05:00.266 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> HEY, THIS THING RUNS ON "D" BATTERIES. 00:05:00.333 --> 00:05:02.935 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> [ LAUGHS ] JUST LIKE YOUR WIFE'S VIBRATOR. 00:05:03.002 --> 00:05:05.738 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> SOUNDWAVE HASN'T REPORTED BACK IN DAYS. 00:05:05.805 --> 00:05:07.240 line:85% position:30% size:40% WHERE CAN HE BE? 00:05:07.306 --> 00:05:10.309 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> MEGATRON, I THINK I FOUND HIM. 00:05:10.376 --> 00:05:11.310 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> eBay? 00:05:11.377 --> 00:05:14.180 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> REQUEST PERMISSION TO BUY IT NOW. 00:05:14.247 --> 00:05:16.182 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start [ ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ] >> AND GOOD DAY TO YOU. 00:05:22.789 --> 00:05:24.057 line:85% position:43% size:63% BREAKING NEWS FROM SPACE. 00:05:24.123 --> 00:05:26.926 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start AS THE NEW RIDE AT LAS VEGAS' "STAR TREK: EXPERIENCE" -- 00:05:26.993 --> 00:05:27.960 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> WHAT'S UP, DICKSTAIN? 00:05:28.027 --> 00:05:29.295 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> GET OUT OF HERE, MUNSON! 00:05:29.362 --> 00:05:30.263 line:85% position:33% size:45% I'M DOING MY SHOW! 00:05:30.329 --> 00:05:31.431 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> OH, YEAH! 00:05:31.497 --> 00:05:33.933 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start WHAT'S IT CALLED AGAIN -- "GAY NEWS FOR HOMOS ABOUT PENIS 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:36.736 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start WHO LOVES DICK AND ARE AFRAID OF VAGINA AND GREW UP IN 00:05:36.803 --> 00:05:39.772 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start WEST VAGINA AND ARE KIND OF AFRAID OF IT AND ALSO GREW UP IN 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:40.640 line:85% position:30% size:38% "PENIS-BRASKA"? 00:05:40.707 --> 00:05:43.009 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start >> NO, IT'S CALLED THE "GYRO-ROBO NEWS--" 00:05:43.076 --> 00:05:45.578 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> ♪ TWO SCOOPS OF PENIS ARE THE REASON YOU'RE A SUPERFAG ♪ 00:05:45.645 --> 00:05:46.079 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> STOP IT! 00:05:46.145 --> 00:05:47.480 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> OH HO! 00:05:47.547 --> 00:05:51.050 line:79% position:50% size:78% NOW, TELL THE NICE VIEWERS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THE SMELL OF YOUR 00:05:51.117 --> 00:05:52.218 line:85% position:23% size:25% OWN FARTS! 00:05:52.285 --> 00:05:52.785 line:85% position:20% size:18% SAY IT! 00:05:52.852 --> 00:05:54.153 line:85% position:35% size:50% OH, IT GETS TIGHTER! 00:05:54.220 --> 00:05:55.154 line:85% position:20% size:18% SAY IT! 00:05:55.221 --> 00:05:55.988 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> OKAY, OKAY! 00:05:56.055 --> 00:05:57.857 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start I LOVE THE SMELL OF MY OWN FARTS! 00:05:57.924 --> 00:06:00.426 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start [ INHALES ] I LOVE FARTS! 00:06:00.493 --> 00:06:01.894 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> HA HA! LOSER! 00:06:01.961 --> 00:06:03.596 line:85% position:33% size:43% YOU GOT MUNSONED! 00:06:03.663 --> 00:06:09.235 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start >> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] >> I'M YOUR REAL DAD! 00:06:09.302 --> 00:06:11.270 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start >> AND IN OTHER NEWS -- >> DANIEL, SWEETY -- 00:06:11.337 --> 00:06:12.905 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> MOM, I AM DOING MY SHOW! 00:06:12.972 --> 00:06:15.775 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> OH, WELL, IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK. 00:06:15.842 --> 00:06:16.909 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> NO, IT IS NOT! 00:06:16.976 --> 00:06:19.612 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> I MADE SNICKERDOODLES. 00:06:19.679 --> 00:06:21.814 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES. 00:06:21.881 --> 00:06:24.050 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> [ GASPS ] ALPHA PSI BODEGA?! 00:06:24.117 --> 00:06:24.884 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> NUH-UNH! 00:06:24.951 --> 00:06:26.486 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> Both: ALPHA PSI! DO OR DIE! 00:06:26.552 --> 00:06:27.854 line:85% position:33% size:43% GUNG HO! GUNG HO! 00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:29.155 line:85% position:38% size:53% UNH! HUNH! UNH! HUNH! 00:06:29.222 --> 00:06:30.990 line:85% position:43% size:65% UNH! HUNH! UNH! HUNH! UNH! 00:06:31.057 --> 00:06:32.825 line:85% position:25% size:28% OW! OW! OW! 00:06:32.892 --> 00:06:36.195 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> SO, UH...YOU LIKE BASKETBALL? 00:06:36.262 --> 00:06:39.899 line:79% position:50% size:78% >> AND NOW, ADAM, IT IS UNTO YE TO NAME ALL THE ANIMALS OF THE 00:06:39.966 --> 00:06:40.500 line:85% position:18% size:15% EARTH. 00:06:40.566 --> 00:06:41.534 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> I'M ON IT. 00:06:41.601 --> 00:06:43.536 line:85% position:45% size:68% I'M GONNA CALL YOU A HORSE. 00:06:43.603 --> 00:06:45.238 line:85% position:38% size:53% AND YOU'LL BE A BEAR. 00:06:45.304 --> 00:06:46.739 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> HEY, ADAM! 00:06:46.806 --> 00:06:48.274 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> OH, HEY, STEVE. 00:06:48.341 --> 00:06:49.542 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 00:06:49.609 --> 00:06:51.644 line:79% position:50% size:80% I WALKED INTO A SITUATION, DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT I WANT 00:06:51.711 --> 00:06:52.645 line:85% position:33% size:43% TO BE PART OF IT! 00:06:52.712 --> 00:06:53.513 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> EH, NOTHING. 00:06:53.579 --> 00:06:55.748 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start JUST NAMING ALL THE BEASTS OF THE EARTH. 00:06:55.815 --> 00:06:58.251 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> OOH! LET'S CALL THAT ONE A PEACOCK! 00:06:58.317 --> 00:07:00.153 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> STEVE, STEVE -- >> [ LAUGHS ] AND THAT'LL BE A 00:07:00.219 --> 00:07:01.254 line:85% position:20% size:20% SWALLOW! 00:07:01.320 --> 00:07:04.857 line:79% position:45% size:68% >> STEVE, PLEASE, DON'T -- >> AND THAT'S A RAMBURGLAR! 00:07:04.924 --> 00:07:07.293 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start [ SPINNER CLACKING ] >> ♪ BE A WINNER AT THE GAME OF 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:10.463 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start LIFE ♪ >> A LETTER FROM THE ADMISSIONS 00:07:10.530 --> 00:07:11.130 line:85% position:20% size:18% OFFICE? 00:07:11.197 --> 00:07:13.099 line:85% position:35% size:48% MY LIFE STARTS NOW! 00:07:13.166 --> 00:07:15.935 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ SPINNER CLACKING ] REJECTED? 00:07:16.002 --> 00:07:16.869 line:85% position:28% size:33% FIDDLESTICKS! 00:07:16.936 --> 00:07:19.305 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> ♪ DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE GAME OF LIFE ♪ 00:07:19.372 --> 00:07:22.475 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> THAT'S THE LAST TRAY OF IMITATION MEAT PATTIES YOU'LL 00:07:22.542 --> 00:07:23.142 line:85% position:18% size:13% RUIN! 00:07:23.209 --> 00:07:24.177 line:85% position:28% size:33% YOU'RE FIRED! 00:07:24.243 --> 00:07:26.679 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I COULD DO TO SAVE MY JOB? 00:07:26.746 --> 00:07:30.783 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ SPINNER CLACKING ] >> YES. THERE IS. 00:07:30.850 --> 00:07:35.421 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start [ BOTH MOANING PASSIONATELY ] >> OH, I REALLY...NEED... 00:07:35.488 --> 00:07:36.656 line:85% position:25% size:28% THIS...JOB! 00:07:36.722 --> 00:07:37.757 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> WORK IT OFF! 00:07:37.824 --> 00:07:38.925 line:85% position:40% size:60% YOU'RE KEEPING YOUR JOB! 00:07:38.991 --> 00:07:41.761 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> ♪ SEX FOR FAVORS IN THE GAME OF LIFE ♪ 00:07:41.828 --> 00:07:44.063 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> GOD, PLEASE...PLEASE... 00:07:44.130 --> 00:07:46.599 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ SPINNER CLACKING ] NO! 00:07:46.666 --> 00:07:48.467 line:85% position:28% size:35% OH, GOD, WHY?! 00:07:48.534 --> 00:07:51.370 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> ♪ BROKEN CONDOMS IN THE GAME OF LIFE ♪ 00:07:51.437 --> 00:07:52.605 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> COME ON, HONEY. 00:07:52.672 --> 00:07:54.473 line:85% position:33% size:45% ONE LAST BIG PUSH. 00:07:54.540 --> 00:07:55.842 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> AA-A-A-A-H! 00:07:55.908 --> 00:08:00.079 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ SPINNER CLACKING ] >> OH, SHOOT! 00:08:00.146 --> 00:08:03.082 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> ♪ START A FAMILY IN THE GAME OF LIFE ♪ 00:08:03.149 --> 00:08:05.418 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> GOD, ANOTHER INTERVIEW YOU'VE BLOWN? 00:08:05.484 --> 00:08:07.620 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start WE CAN'T ALL LIVE ON BEER, YOU KNOW? 00:08:07.687 --> 00:08:09.989 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> YOU'RE GONNA SHUT...YOUR... 00:08:10.056 --> 00:08:13.092 line:85% position:45% size:68% BIG...MOUTH...ONCE...AND... 00:08:13.159 --> 00:08:15.228 line:85% position:45% size:68% FOR...ALL...STUPID...BITCH! 00:08:15.294 --> 00:08:16.629 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> I'M SORRY! 00:08:16.696 --> 00:08:20.199 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start [ SPINNER CLACKING ] [ GUNSHOT ] 00:08:20.266 --> 00:08:22.668 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> ♪ KILL YOUR HUSBAND IN THE GAME OF LIFE ♪ 00:08:22.735 --> 00:08:26.572 line:79% position:35% size:48% [ SIRENS WAILING ] >> [BLEEP] SPINNER. 00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:29.075 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] >> Shh! 00:08:29.141 --> 00:08:30.509 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> Shh! 00:08:30.576 --> 00:08:33.980 line:79% position:28% size:35% >> [ HISSING ] >> [ HISSING ] 00:08:34.046 --> 00:08:35.915 line:79% position:28% size:35% >> [ HISSING ] >> [ HISSING ] 00:08:35.982 --> 00:08:37.617 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM YOUR GOVERNOR. 00:08:37.683 --> 00:08:38.851 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> GOOD EVENING. 00:08:38.918 --> 00:08:42.755 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start AS YOU KNOW, I HAVE DEALT WITH MANY ALIENS IN THE PAST, BUT NOW 00:08:42.822 --> 00:08:45.591 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start YOU CRITICIZE ME ABOUT THE MEXICO ALIEN. 00:08:45.658 --> 00:08:49.896 line:79% position:48% size:75% HERE, I SHOW YOU HOW THE GREAT STATE OF CALIFORNIA HAS DEALT 00:08:49.962 --> 00:08:51.597 line:85% position:48% size:73% WITH THE MEXICO BORDER ISSUE. 00:08:51.664 --> 00:08:55.134 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start HERE WE HAVE THE HIGH-TECH BORDER FENCE WITH THE HIGHLY 00:08:55.201 --> 00:08:58.204 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start TRAINED BORDER GUARD, WHO WILL EXPLAIN FURTHER. 00:08:58.271 --> 00:09:02.308 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> PEOPLE RUNNIN' ACROSS THE BORDER WAS A PROBLEM, BUT THESE 00:09:02.375 --> 00:09:04.543 line:85% position:45% size:70% NEW SYSTEMS ARE IMPREGNABLE. 00:09:04.610 --> 00:09:05.811 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> EYPA, EYPA! iANDALE, ANDALE! 00:09:05.878 --> 00:09:06.545 line:85% position:30% size:40% iARRIBA, ARRIBA! 00:09:06.612 --> 00:09:07.613 line:85% position:20% size:18% EE-YAH! 00:09:07.680 --> 00:09:09.548 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> S-S-SON OF A BITCH. 00:09:09.615 --> 00:09:13.586 line:79% position:48% size:75% >> CRACKING DOWN ON THE CRIMES WILL DISCOURAGE THE IMMIGRANTS 00:09:13.653 --> 00:09:15.154 line:85% position:45% size:68% FROM COMING HERE ILLEGALLY. 00:09:15.221 --> 00:09:15.922 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> THAT'S HIM! 00:09:15.988 --> 00:09:17.123 line:85% position:43% size:63% HE DREW A "Z" ON MY WALL. 00:09:17.189 --> 00:09:19.292 line:79% position:28% size:80% align:start >> YES, RIGHT AFTER I BROKE UP A ROBBERY! 00:09:19.358 --> 00:09:20.826 line:85% position:35% size:48% I'M A [BLEEP] HERO! 00:09:20.893 --> 00:09:22.228 line:85% position:38% size:55% AAH! [BLEEP] TU MADRE! 00:09:22.295 --> 00:09:25.097 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> WE MUST STOP THE HIRING OF THE ILLEGAL ALIENS. 00:09:25.164 --> 00:09:27.199 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start I ASKED FOR THIS WATER AN HOUR AGO! 00:09:27.266 --> 00:09:28.601 line:85% position:33% size:43% YOU ARE TOO SLOW! 00:09:28.668 --> 00:09:29.936 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> SLOW? 00:09:30.002 --> 00:09:33.072 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start BUT MI NOMBRE ES SLOWPOKE RODRIGUEZ. 00:09:33.139 --> 00:09:36.575 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> YOU, THE SECURITY PEOPLE, TAKE THE MOUSE AND DEPORT HIM! 00:09:36.642 --> 00:09:38.144 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> NO, SEÑOR! 00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:40.513 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start THEY'LL EXECUTE ME IN MI COUNTRY. 00:09:40.579 --> 00:09:42.682 line:85% position:35% size:48% YOU ARE KILLING ME! 00:09:42.748 --> 00:09:45.785 line:85% position:35% size:48% YOU ARE KILLING ME! 00:09:45.851 --> 00:09:49.822 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> BUT WE ARE ALSO COMPASSIONATE FOR THE CHILDREN FOUND AT THE 00:09:49.889 --> 00:09:50.890 line:85% position:20% size:18% BORDER. 00:09:50.957 --> 00:09:53.326 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> WE FOUND THIS LITTLE GIRL WANDERING AROUND WITH NO 00:09:53.392 --> 00:09:54.427 line:85% position:38% size:53% PARENTAL SUPERVISION. 00:09:54.493 --> 00:09:56.495 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> SOY UN EXPLORER! 00:09:56.562 --> 00:10:01.801 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start ESTOY EN UNA ADVENTURA MAGNíFICO CON MI AMIGO BOOTS! 00:10:01.867 --> 00:10:03.836 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> WHICH WE DEALT WITH PER CDC REGULATIONS. 00:10:03.903 --> 00:10:06.539 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start [ BONES CRACKING ] >> AND HERE IS THE LATEST HERO 00:10:06.605 --> 00:10:09.875 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start TO FIGHT THE ILLEGAL BORDER CRIME -- SUPERMAN! 00:10:09.942 --> 00:10:11.043 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> THANK YOU, GOVERNOR. 00:10:11.110 --> 00:10:14.046 line:79% position:48% size:73% WE SUPER FRIENDS HAD NO IDEA THAT EL DORADO WAS AN ILLEGAL 00:10:14.113 --> 00:10:15.681 line:85% position:50% size:78% WHEN WE LET HIM JOIN OUR RANKS. 00:10:15.748 --> 00:10:17.717 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start I'M ON MY WAY TO DEPORT HIM RIGHT NOW. 00:10:17.783 --> 00:10:20.486 line:79% position:45% size:70% >> YEAH, YEAH, GOOD JOB WITH THAT SUPERMAN THING GOING ON 00:10:20.553 --> 00:10:21.554 line:85% position:18% size:15% THERE. 00:10:21.620 --> 00:10:25.825 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start AND HOW DID YOU COME TO THIS GREAT COUNTRY YOURSELF? 00:10:25.891 --> 00:10:27.727 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start [ CRASHING ] GOTT IN HIMMEL! 00:10:27.793 --> 00:10:30.663 line:79% position:50% size:80% >> SIR, IF YOU HAVE A MOMENT, I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU GOT 00:10:30.730 --> 00:10:33.099 line:85% position:33% size:45% INTO THIS COUNTRY. 00:10:33.165 --> 00:10:34.233 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> UP, UP, AND AWAY! 00:10:34.300 --> 00:10:36.802 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start [ CRASHING ] >> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:36.869 --> 00:10:39.472 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:10:39.538 --> 00:10:41.307 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:41.374 --> 00:10:43.676 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:10:43.743 --> 00:10:45.511 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:45.578 --> 00:10:48.147 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:10:48.214 --> 00:10:49.815 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:49.882 --> 00:10:52.485 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:10:52.551 --> 00:10:54.220 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:54.286 --> 00:10:56.722 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:10:56.789 --> 00:10:58.457 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:58.524 --> 00:11:00.960 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:11:01.027 --> 00:11:02.762 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:11:02.828 --> 00:11:05.264 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:11:05.331 --> 00:11:07.066 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:11:07.133 --> 00:11:09.568 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK 00:11:09.635 --> 00:11:19.612 line:10% position:10% size:35% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK. 00:11:19.678 --> 00:11:20.613 line:10% position:10% size:35% align:start BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK.