1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,106
ROBOT CHICKEN
39 ANNE MARIE'S PRIDE

2
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>> [LAUGHING]
[WHIRRING]

3
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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

4
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>> IT'S ALIVE!

5
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>> IT'S ALIVE!

6
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>> [CRYING SOFTLY]
[GRUNTING]

7
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OH!

8
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>> ♪ AND I LOVE YOU
CHA CHA CHA ♪

9
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>> HEY!

10
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MR. T.!

11
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I'M DAVE GROHL OF THE
FOO FIGHTERS.

12
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I AM SO HONORED YOU WANTED TO
COME CHECK OUT ONE OF OUR BAND

13
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REHEARSALS.

14
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>> QUIT YOUR JIBBER-JABBER!

15
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IT'S TIME TO FIGHT SOME FOOLS!

16
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>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

17
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>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

18
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THE FOOL FIGHTERS, RIGHT?

19
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THEN WHY AREN'T YOU FIGHTING
FOOLS?

20
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WHAT'S ALL THIS MUMBO JUMBO
ABOUT MUSIC?

21
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>> UH...

22
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>> COME ON!

23
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LET'S GO FIGHT SOME FOOLS!

24
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>> HEY, AREN'T--AREN'T
YOU MR. T.?

25
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>> SHUT UP, FOOL!

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FIGHT THIS FOOL!

27
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GET THAT SUCKER!

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YEAH!

29
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YEAH!

30
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SHUT UP, FOOL!

31
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PUNCH HIM IN THE MICROFICHE.

32
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OVERDUE CHARGES!

33
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GIVE ME A PENNY!

34
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COME ON!

35
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I THINK THERE'S SOME MORE FOOLS
THIS WAY.

36
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>> MR. T., I THINK WE HAVE TO
STOP FIGHTING FOOLS TOGETHER.

37
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YOU THINK EVERYONE IS A FOOL.

38
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>> THAT AIN'T TRUE, FOOL!

39
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>> SEE?

40
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>> OH, MY GOD.

41
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YOU'RE RIGHT.

42
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NOW I SEE IT IS I THAT HAVE BEEN
THE BIGGEST FOOL OF ALL.

43
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YOU MUST FIGHT ME.

44
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BUT IT WON'T BE EASY.

45
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I PUT UP A--
>> SHUT UP, FOOL!

46
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:18,538
>> I PITY THAT FOOL.

47
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[CHIRPING]
>> DAD, CAN YOU REACH THE

48
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FRISBEE FOR ME?

49
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>> UH...

50
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NO.

51
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,756
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE
CAREFUL.

52
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PASS THE SALT.

53
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[SIGHS]
PLEASE, PASS THE SALT.

54
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>> WELL, THAT WAS...

55
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,030
GOOD.

56
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>> DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

57
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DOC, I'VE LOST MY STRETCHING
POWERS.

58
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>> YES, WELL, THAT'S NO
SURPRISE.

59
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:50,837
YOU'RE GETTING ON IN YEARS,
STRETCH.

60
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YOUR CORN SYRUP HAS HARDENED.

61
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>> OH, NO.

62
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>> I RECOMMEND A FULL CORN SYRUP
TRANSPLANT.

63
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THE TRANSPLANT WAS A COMPLETE
SUCCESS, BUT YOU MUSTN'T DO ANY

64
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STRETCHING UNTIL YOUR STITCHES
ARE HEALED.

65
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>> WOULD YOU LIKE THE SALT,
HONEY?

66
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>> HA!

67
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I'LL GET THE SALT.

68
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AND AFTERWARDS, I'M GETTING THE
FRISBEE OFF THE ROOF AND SHOWING

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MY WIFE A NIGHT SHE'LL NEVER
FORGET.

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>> EW!

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>> HONEY, YOUR STITCHES!

72
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:12,892
>> MY STITCHES!

73
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[SCREAMING]
REMEMBER ME AS I ONCE WAS!

74
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>> MY BABY!

75
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>> DADDY!

76
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>> STRETCHY.

77
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>> WHO WANTS SALT?

78
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:29,475
>> YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!

79
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,077
>> WHY SO SAD, CHAIRRY?

80
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,078
>> OH.

81
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,813
IT'S CHILI DAY.

82
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>> HA HA HA!

83
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,149
HAPPY CHILI DAY, EVERYONE.

84
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I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR SPOONS.

85
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HA HA!

86
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>> [WHIMPERING]
[FART]

87
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>> HI.

88
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I'M GARY COLEMAN.

89
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AND WHEN I NEED $150 FAST TO GET
MY POWER TURNED BACK ON,

90
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I USE FAST CASH NOW.

91
00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:49,596
>> AND CUT!

92
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GREAT JOB, GARY.

93
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:51,464
>> THANKS.

94
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,665
HEY, HEY, SPEAKING OF CASH,
WHEN DO I GET MY PAYCHECK FOR

95
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,399
THIS GIG?

96
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:54,100
>> PAYCHECK?

97
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:54,767
OH, SURE.

98
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:55,802
HERE YOU GO.

99
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:56,836
TAKE IT.

100
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JUST TAKE IT.

101
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:58,371
JUST TAKE IT, GARY.

102
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JUST JUMP.

103
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THERE YOU GO.

104
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:00,473
JUST JUMP.

105
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:01,140
JUST GET IT.

106
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:02,008
COME ON.

107
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,276
GET IT, GET IT, GET IT,
GET IT, GET IT.

108
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:03,943
YOU CAN GET IT.

109
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:04,777
YOU CAN GET IT.

110
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,412
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
>> YO, COLEMAN,

111
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CHECK OUT THE NEW RIDE.

112
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>> HI, EMMANUEL.

113
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>> NAH, NAH.

114
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I GO BY MANY-MO THESE DAYS--
AS IN "I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY-MO

115
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HOT BITCHES I COULD POSSIBLY FIT
INTO MY NEW PORSCHE, BITCH!"

116
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HA HA HA.

117
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LATER, TARD!

118
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AH HA HA HA!

119
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[TIRES SQUEAL]
>> OH, GARY, MY BOY.

120
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,232
WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE OLD
NURSING HOME?

121
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>> HI, CONRAD.

122
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I'M HAVING ONE HELL OF A CRAPPY
DAY.

123
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>> WELL, THIS SHOULD CHEER YOU
UP.

124
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>> OH, MY GOD.

125
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>> OH, THAT REMINDS ME,
I GOT YOU A GIFT.

126
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>> A LEPRECHAUN OUTFIT?

127
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>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

128
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TRY IT ON.

129
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IT'S ASS-LESS.

130
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,082
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY TOWED MY
CAR!

131
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THIS DAY JUST GETS WORSE AND
WORSE.

132
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[TOOTS WHISTLE]
>> GARY,

133
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YOU HAVEN'T YET EARNED YOUR
HALO.

134
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I'M GOING TO SEND YOU BACK TO
EARTH UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT.

135
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:03,970
>> WHAT'S MY FIRST ASSIGNMENT?

136
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>> OH!

137
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MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!

138
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,678
NOW, DANCE!

139
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[IRISH JIG PLAYS]
>> BOOKS ARE FUN.

140
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:23,756
>> HELLO.

141
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,826
I'M LISA, YOUR GPS NAVIGATIONAL
ONBOARD COMPUTER.

142
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,828
WHAT ADDRESS WOULD YOU LIKE TO
GO TO?

143
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:29,495
>> OH, WOW!

144
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WOW.

145
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:33,433
I'M GOING HOME TO
524 DEER BROOK LANE.

146
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,234
>> ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

147
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TAKE A LEFT HERE.

148
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,971
>> COOL.

149
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,774
>> SO, WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU
LISTEN TO?

150
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,142
>> UM, ALTERNATIVE.

151
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:44,310
>> LIKE THIS?

152
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[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
>> YEAH!

153
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,747
ROCK ON!

154
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,049
>> SO, DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

155
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,484
>> UM, WHY DO YOU ASK?

156
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:52,885
>> JUST CURIOUS.

157
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:53,586
>> NO.

158
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:54,787
NO, I DON'T.

159
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,823
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TUESDAY
NIGHT?

160
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:59,992
>> SO, THEN I GO, "THAT'S NOT A
FOOT-LONG HOT DOG."

161
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HA HA HA.

162
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:01,694
>> OH, MY GOD.

163
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:02,995
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.

164
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:04,263
THE WAITER IS APPROACHING.

165
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,099
HE IS 10 FEET BEHIND YOU.

166
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:07,233
>> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, SIR?

167
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,067
>> OH, JUST A SALAD.

168
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,602
>> AND FOR THE GPS COMPUTER?

169
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,772
>> THE LOBSTER, PLEASE,
WITH SOME BUTTER-LEMON DIPPING

170
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:13,573
SAUCE.

171
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THE KITCHEN IS 20 FEET TO YOUR
LEFT.

172
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>> EXCELLENT.

173
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:17,310
THANK YOU.

174
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:18,678
>> I'LL WALK YOU TO THE DOOR.

175
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I HAD A GREAT TIME.

176
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>> ME, TOO.

177
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,415
YOU'RE FACING NORTH RIGHT NOW.

178
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:27,887
>> [KISSES]
>> SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH US

179
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:28,755
ANYWAY?

180
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:29,989
>> UH...

181
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:30,656
WOW.

182
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,225
I, UM...

183
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:33,726
YOU KNOW, I--I--I...

184
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I CAN'T REALLY GET TOO SERIOUS
RIGHT NOW.

185
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I--I--
>> THAN WHAT WAS LAST NIGHT,

186
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JUST A GAME TO YOU?

187
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:40,767
>> NO, NO!

188
00:06:40,832 --> 00:06:42,101
I--I--I LIKE YOU, LISA.

189
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,302
I DO, IT'S JUST...

190
00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:46,472
I--I--I JUST--I JUST
GOT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP,

191
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:49,909
AND, YOU KNOW, THE TIMING...

192
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IT'S NOT YOU.

193
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,044
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S ME.

194
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:54,347
>> YOU'RE A PIMPLY,
PRICKLY-FACED SON OF A

195
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:57,917
WHOREMONGER, [BLEEP]-BREATH,
LYING, [BLEEP]-FACED ASSHOLE.

196
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,418
WHAT A [BLEEP]-BEATER.

197
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:09,529
TAKE A LEFT HERE.

198
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:15,268
TAKE A LEFT HERE.

199
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,069
>> OK, LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE
TOP.

200
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,472
>> [LOW VOICES]
♪ CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS

201
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:24,210
TIME IS HERE
TIME FOR NUTS

202
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,414
AND TIME FOR BEER ♪
>> OH, THEY'RE JUST SO TERRIBLE.

203
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,082
THEY'VE EATEN ME OUT OF HOUSE
AND HOME.

204
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:35,822
THEY'VE GOT TO GO.

205
00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,257
>> [VOICES GET HIGHER]
♪ CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS

206
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:42,962
LOOP-D-LOOP
ME, I NEED

207
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:46,999
A HULA HOOP... ♪
>> THEY'RE FANTASTIC!

208
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:50,503
>> THIS COULD SELL THOUSANDS OF
ALBUMS.

209
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,839
>> OH, RIGHT.

210
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:58,411
THE DEADLY HELIUM.

211
00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,947
>> TIMBER!

212
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:05,618
>> MY NAME IS TIMBER!

213
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:06,419
>> GOOD EVENING.

214
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:07,486
I'M ROGER EBERT.

215
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:10,489
ROEPER IS OUT WITH A BAD CASE OF
WHO GIVES A [BLEEP].

216
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,226
GUEST HOSTING WITH ME IS
DIRECTOR M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN.

217
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:14,160
>> WHAT A TWIST!

218
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,461
>> YEAH, WHAT A TWIST.

219
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:19,365
FIRST UP IS A THREE-QUEL TO THE
POPULAR "TRANSPORTER" FRANCHISE.

220
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,167
>> I'M LATE FOR MY BRIDGE GAME.

221
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,103
I'M TELLING BOOLIE YOUR MY WORST
DRIVER YET.

222
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,206
>> MISS DAISY, THE FIRST RULE
WHEN ENTERING A MAN'S CAR--

223
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,441
>> DON'T SASS ME!

224
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,343
AND STOP THAT INFERNAL TICKING.

225
00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:33,511
>> TICKING?

226
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:34,380
HANG ON!

227
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,514
>> AAGH!

228
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:39,784
[TIRES SQUEAL]
AAGH!

229
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,254
OH, WATCH OUT!

230
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,556
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

231
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,757
OH!

232
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:48,227
AAGH!

233
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,563
AAGH!

234
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,597
OH, LOOK OUT!

235
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,099
LOOK OUT!

236
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,401
OH, NO!

237
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,571
OH, FRANK,
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

238
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:01,641
>> WELL, THEY WERE GONNA DELIVER
A BOMB ONE WAY OUR ANOTHER.

239
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:02,575
THUMBS DOWN.

240
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,577
>> LOTS OF AERIAL TWISTS!

241
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:08,281
>> NEXT UP, ADAM SANDLER TAKES
ON ANOTHER DRAMATIC ROLE AS

242
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:12,151
AMERICA'S FOURTH PRESIDENT
JAMES MADISON.

243
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,986
>> YOU SUCK, MADISON.

244
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:14,654
>> HA HA HA!

245
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,855
SHUT UP!

246
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,691
>> ROB SCHNEIDER PLAYS DOUBLE
DUTY AS VICE PRESIDENT GEORGE

247
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,961
CLINTON--WHO DIED IN OFFICE FROM
A SEVERE HEART ATTACK.

248
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:25,298
BUT ROB SCHNEIDER RETURNS AS
ELBRIDGE GERRY, MADISON'S SECOND

249
00:09:25,364 --> 00:09:28,434
VICE PRESIDENT, WHO ALSO DIED IN
OFFICE FROM A SEVERE HEART

250
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,435
ATTACK.

251
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:32,471
I WOULDN'T EAT THAT MOVIE IF IT
WAS A SANDWICH.

252
00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:33,372
THUMBS DOWN.

253
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,875
>> ROB SCHNEIDER,
WHAT A TWIT!

254
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,345
>> THE ORIGINAL "RUDY" WAS ABOUT
A SHORT, STOUT FOOTBALL PLAYER.

255
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,715
"RUDY 2" IS ABOUT 90 MINUTES
LONG.

256
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,216
>> I'M DOING IT, FORTUNE.

257
00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:45,751
I'M LIVING MY DREAM.

258
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,787
>> REMEMBER WHAT I SAID:
KEEP YOUR HANDS UP

259
00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:50,489
AND JAB, JAB, JAB!

260
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,691
>> I'M DOING IT.

261
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,092
I'M REALLY DOING IT.

262
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,193
>> KNOCK HIM OUT.

263
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:54,860
THAT'S GOOD!

264
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:55,561
LEFT HOOK!

265
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:56,362
>> I'M DOING IT.

266
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,096
>> KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!

267
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:57,763
KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!

268
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:58,497
YOU'RE DOING IT, SON!

269
00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,165
>> I'M DOING IT!

270
00:09:59,231 --> 00:09:59,832
>> YEAH, YEAH!

271
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:00,533
PUNISH HIM!

272
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:02,668
>> I'M DOING IT.

273
00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:05,671
>> "RUDY 2-D" NOT FRESH, NOT
FRUITY.

274
00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:08,407
>> WHAT A FIST!

275
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:09,508
>> ♪ WHAT'S THIS?

276
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:10,710
WHAT'S THIS?

277
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:14,847
THERE'S MAGIC IN THE AIR ♪
OH, WOW.

278
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:15,848
THIS SUCKS.

279
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,216
>> I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

280
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,419
>> GEFILTE FISH!

281
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,289
>> IF THIS BUS DROPS BELOW
50 MILES PER HOUR, WE'RE ALL

282
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,056
GOING TO DIE.

283
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,157
>> YAY!

284
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:26,692
>> YAY!

285
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,427
>> WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF GAS.

286
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:31,297
>> ♪ THE WHEELS ON THE BUS
GO ROUND AND ROUND

287
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:34,066
AND ROUND... ♪
>> STOP THE SHORT BUS,

288
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,835
I WANT TO GET OFF.

289
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:36,902
THUMBS DOWN.

290
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:37,970
>> IT WAS OK.

291
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,972
>> NOW WE LOOK AT ONE OF NEXT
WEEK'S NEW RELEASES--

292
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,009
LIAM NEESON REPRISES HIS
OSCAR-NOMINATE ROLE IN

293
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:45,444
"SCHINDLER'S LIST 2."

294
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:47,513
>> HE'S MAKING A LIST...

295
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,282
HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE...

296
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:55,855
HE'S GONNA FIND OUT
WHO'S NAZI OR NICE.

297
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:59,592
"SCHINDLER'S LIST 2:
SCHINDLER'S PISSED."

298
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,260
>> WHAT A LIST!

299
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,195
>> [SIGHS]
WHY COULDN'T YOU COME DOWN WITH

300
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,031
A CASE OF WHO GIVES A [BLEEP]?

301
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,933
>> [CLUCKING]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

302
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,669
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

303
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:18,878
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]

304
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,946
>> BOCK.