1
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,220
IT'S ALIVE!

2
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,207
[ HOWLS ]

3
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,876
SHUT UP, DOWN THERE.

4
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,378
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!

5
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,014
OOH, LA-LA.

6
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:51,184
LOOK AT ME,
I'M A LADY.

7
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,687
[ LAUGHING ]

8
00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,856
[ SIGH ]

9
00:00:56,923 --> 00:01:00,393
MY CLOTHES ARE SOFT,
BUT THEY'RE NOT HUGGABLY SOFT.

10
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,195
LEAVE IT TO ME.
AAH!

11
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,464
BEING HUGGABLY SOFT
IS MY BUSINESS

12
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,766
AND BUSINESS IS GOOD.

13
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,301
THEY ARE SOFT.

14
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:10,437
AND SO ARE YOU, CUDDLES.

15
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:14,007
VERY, VERY SOFT.

16
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,643
UH, UM,

17
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,411
WHERE ARE WE GOING?

18
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:21,314
I NEED
YOUR SOFTNESS.

19
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,918
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

20
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,986
THIS IS A NO-NO.

21
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,655
A BIG NO-NO.

22
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,623
DON'T FIGHT IT.

23
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:35,428
[ MOANING ]

24
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:39,532
YOU MIGHT WANNA
CLEAN YOURSELF UP.

25
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,440
GOOD AS NEW!

26
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:49,108
YEAH,
GOOD AS NEW.

27
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:52,445
MY, YOU'RE JUST
SO HUGGABLY SOFT.

28
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,048
NO, NO, NOT REALLY
THAT SOFT.

29
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:56,716
STOP!

30
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,585
THIS ISN'T RIGHT!

31
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,420
CUDDLES BRAND FABRIC SOFTENEER,

32
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:04,457
WHEN YOUR CLOTHES HAVE TO BE
HUGGABLE, RAPABLY FRESH.

33
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:09,728
I DON'T WANT
YOUR SANDWICH.

34
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,833
DID YOU FINISH
THAT MARKETING PROPOSAL?
NOPE.

35
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,768
I TOLD YOU
TO GIVE IT TO ME TODAY.

36
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,737
I COULD HAVE SWORN
YOU SAID THURSDAY.

37
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,339
NO, I SAID WEDNESDAY.

38
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,007
I DON'T THINK SO.
THURSDAY.

39
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,543
WEDNESDAY, DOUCHE BAG.
THURSDAY, ASS FACE!

40
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,478
WEDNESDAY,
YOU [ EXPLETIVE ] IDIOT!

41
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:26,779
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

42
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,449
WE'RE HAVING
A FIGHT ABOUT THE DUE DATE
OF THE MARKETING PROPOSAL.

43
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,552
WELL, THEN THERE'S
ONLY ONE WAY TOSOLVE IT.

44
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,555
Computer: FIGHT.

45
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,055
STAPLER.

46
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:38,091
STAPLER.

47
00:02:38,156 --> 00:02:40,727
POST IT, POST IT!
P-P-P-POST IT!

48
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,196
FINISH HIM!

49
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,567
YOU KNOW THAT PROPOSAL
WAS DUE ON WEDNESDAY, JIM.

50
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,136
THURSDAY, NANCY.

51
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,005
HOT WATER.

52
00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:53,673
SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

53
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,441
LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT.

54
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,444
LETTER OPENER.

55
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,947
RYU FROM
STREET FIGHTER?

56
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,115
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WORKED HERE.

57
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:06,052
I DON'T, BUT THAT PROPOSAL WAS
DEFINITELY DUE ON WEDNESDAY.

58
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,854
FIGHT.

59
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,689
I'LL GET
RIGHT ON IT.

60
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,657
MAIL,
MR. GRIFFIN.

61
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:14,360
EXCELLENT, NEXT YEAR'S FUNDING'S
COME THROUGH.

62
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,662
ONE DOLLAR?

63
00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,297
WHAT DO WE DO
WITH ONE DOLLAR?

64
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,599
WE'RE GOING BACK TO BASICS,
THAT'S WHAT.

65
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,434
T MINUS FIVE

66
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,304
FOUR, THREE, TWO,

67
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,372
ONE.

68
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:29,175
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪

69
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:33,212
♪ PROTECTING THE FREEDOM
OF THE HUMAN RACE ♪

70
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,182
♪ FOUR FINGERS ON HIS HAND ♪

71
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:39,485
♪ FREEDOM ACROSS THE LAND ♪

72
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,755
♪ PROTECTING THE UNITED STATES ♪

73
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:46,526
♪ WE OWE OUR FREEDOM
TO THESE PRIMATES ♪

74
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,728
♪ MANY DIED
ALONG THE WAY ♪

75
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,531
♪ IN FACT, THEY ALL DID ♪

76
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,700
♪ BUT THAT'S OKAY ♪

77
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:56,502
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪

78
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,340
♪ PROTECTING THE FREEDOM
OF THE HUMAN RACE ♪

79
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,409
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪

80
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,846
♪ THEY'RE EASIER
THAN HUMANS TO REPLACE ♪

81
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:10,049
♪ A HUMAN LIFE
IS A TERRIBLE WASTE ♪

82
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:13,553
♪ THAT'S WHY WE SHOT
MONKEYS INTO SPACE ♪

83
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,956
♪ WE USED ALL THE MONKEYS
THAT WE COULD FIND ♪

84
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:22,729
♪ 50 DEAD MONKEYS,
HUGE STEP FOR MANKIND ♪

85
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:26,566
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪

86
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:30,203
♪ PROTECTING THE FREEDOM
OF THE HUMAN RACE ♪

87
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:33,673
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER -- ♪

88
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,483
YEAH, DO THE DO!

89
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,784
MR. PRESIDENT, YOUR VITALS
ALL CHECK OUT FINE.

90
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,253
THERE IS JUST ONE THING.

91
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,589
YOUR MIDO-CHLORIAN COUNT
IS EXTRAORDINARILY HIGHT.

92
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,658
DOES THAT MEAN
THAT I'M ONE OF THEM,

93
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:55,094
WHAT YOU CALL 'EM, NOW,
JEDIS?

94
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,798
[ LAUGHS ]

95
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,767
OH, NOT TONIGHT.

96
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:01,768
I'M TIRED, HONEY.

97
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,704
YOU'RE NOT TIRED.
YOU WANT TO HAVE
A THREESOME.

98
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:08,875
I'M NOT TIRED.
I WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME.

99
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,544
GET ME CONDI.

100
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,784
OH, SORRY, DUBYA.

101
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,721
BIG MAC ATTACK.
WHOO-HOO!

102
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,824
HEY, HEY! WHOA,
WHAT'S THE DILLY?

103
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,828
[ LAUGHS ]

104
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,133
SABRE
BEATS ROCK.

105
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,270
WHAT THE HELL?

106
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:53,219
WHO DARES DISTURB
MY SLUMBER?

107
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,389
WHO DARES QUESTION
MY DARING...

108
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,524
OF HIS DARE...

109
00:05:58,591 --> 00:05:59,392
JERK.

110
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,228
IT IS I!
I WHO FREED THE SLAVES,

111
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,731
I WHO --
BORING.

112
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,166
LET'S FIGHT.

113
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:21,180
IF YOU STRIKE ME DOWN,
I SHALL BECOME --

114
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,282
WAIT A MINUTE,
LET ME FINISH!

115
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,551
THAT'LL TEACH YOU,
GEORGE WASHINGTON.

116
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:27,987
JENNA, GET OVER HERE
RIGHT NOW.

117
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,889
I AM YOUR FATHER!

118
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,624
THAT'S NOT TRUE!

119
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,659
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

120
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,562
MY REAL FATHER WOULD
LET ME GO CLUBBING

121
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,598
AS LATE AS I WANT!

122
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,600
YOU LITTLE --
OW!

123
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,568
OH, NO!
BABY, I'M SORRY.

124
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,103
AAH!

125
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,838
YOU SUCK!

126
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,541
NO!

127
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,778
WHAT --
WAS IT JUST A DREAM?

128
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,646
MR. PRESIDENT,
WE STILL HAVEN'T FOUND

129
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,047
ANY WEAPONS
OF MASS DESTRUCTION.

130
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:58,317
YOU HAVE FOUND WEAPONS
OF MASS DESTRUCTION.

131
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,319
UH, HI.

132
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,421
WE HAVEN'T.

133
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,756
YOU HAVE.

134
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,058
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

135
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,561
BRING ME A TACO.
YES, SIR.

136
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,264
HEH HEH HEH,
TACOS RULE.

137
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,167
[ MAN WHISTLING ]

138
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:18,171
EXCUSE ME,
COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME?

139
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,673
OH.

140
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:26,879
IS EVERYONE READY FOR MORE
OF THOSE UPROARIOUS BLOOPERS?

141
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,248
Audience: YES!

142
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,050
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

143
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,653
IT'S TIME TO RAISE THE ROOF

144
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:37,356
WITH THESE MISHAPS
ON THE LASSIE SET.

145
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:40,927
TIMMY'S IN THE WELL?
LET'S GO, LASSIE.

146
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,328
AAH, AAH!
GET HIM OFF!

147
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,996
GET HIM OFF,
GET HIM OFF!

148
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:47,433
TIMMY'S IN THE WELL?
LET'S GO, LASSIE.

149
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,870
[ SCREAMING ]

150
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:54,807
TIMMY'S IN THE WELL?
LET'S GO, LASSIE!

151
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,210
[ SCREAMING ]

152
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,983
BOY, THAT GUY
REALLY HAD IT ROUGH.

153
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,384
[ CRICKETS ]

154
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:06,886
SPEAKING OF SPAYING
AND NEUTERING,

155
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,789
BOB BARKER WAS ACCUSED
OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

156
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,091
HERE'S A PRICE IS RIGHT BLOOPER.

157
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,060
ALL RIGHT,
BIG SPIN.

158
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:17,864
[ SCREAMING ]

159
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,072
IF YOU THINK THAT'S
THE ONLY TIME THINGS GOT

160
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:29,742
AWKWARD ON A GAME SHOW,
HERE'S SOME FEUD FOR THOUGHT.

161
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,510
MARJORIE.

162
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,679
SUSAN.

163
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:36,215
MATTHEW.

164
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,851
UH-HUH.

165
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,388
A LATER HOST
OF THE FAMILY FEUD

166
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,590
WOULD HANG HIMSELF.

167
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,792
BRITNEY SPEARS' CHAOTIC
SHOCKED THE WORLD

168
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,861
WITH ITS PRIVATE MOMENTS
AND LOW RATINGS.

169
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:53,232
HERE'S SOME SCENES THAT WERE
TOO CHAOTIC, EVEN FOR UPN!

170
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,502
WE FAMOUS, BABY,
YEAH.

171
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,004
HA HA HA!

172
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,106
NO, BABY, I'M FAMOUS.

173
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,009
AND YOU'RE ONLY FAMOUS
BECAUSE I'M FAMOUS.

174
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:07,480
HA HA HA,
YEAH, YEAH.

175
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:10,616
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

176
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,955
OH, BABY.

177
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,123
STUPID.

178
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,892
YOU WOULDN'T THINK NICHOLAS CAGE
AND MICHAEL JACKSON

179
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,327
HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON,

180
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,763
BUT THEY BOTH POKED THEIR HEADS
INTO GRACELAND,

181
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,365
AND THEY BOTH HAD
THEIR SKULLS ON FIRE.

182
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,501
HERE'S A GHOSTRIDER OUTTAKE.

183
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,002
OKAY, NICK. ARE YOU READY?

184
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:33,239
YEAH, LET'S DO IT.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.

185
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:41,781
DID ANYONE TEACH HIM
TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE?

186
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,082
ANYONE?

187
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,350
WHO DIDN'T MASTURBATE

188
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,452
TO HULK HOGAN'S
BULGING BICEPS IN THE 80s?

189
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:50,356
LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S UP TO NOW
IN HOGAN KNOWS BEST.

190
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,658
LET ME ASK
YOU SOMETHING, BROTHER.

191
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,593
WHO WANTS PEAS?

192
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,564
THE HULKSTER SAID,
WHO WANTS PEAS?

193
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,705
HULK-A-MANIA'S RUNNING
MILD, BROTHER.

194
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,708
DO YOU LIKE WATCHING
STUPID PEOPLE GET INJURED?

195
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,577
SO DID FANS OF MTV's JACKASS.

196
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,680
THE NETWORK BEGGED VIEWERS
NOT TO TRY THIS AT HOME,

197
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,083
BUT OF COURSE, THEY DID.

198
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,485
HERE WE GO!

199
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,687
YEAH!

200
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,060
GO!

201
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,062
AAH!

202
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:35,401
[ LAUGHING ]

203
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,535
YEAH!

204
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:39,138
[ LAUGHING ]

205
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,892
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY!
HOPE TO SEE YOU NEXT TIME

206
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:04,296
FOR EVEN MORE
SIDE-SPLITTING BLOOPERS!

207
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:14,006
CAPTIONING PROVIDED
BY TURNER STUDIOS

208
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:20,780
♪ [CLUCKING] ♪