WEBVTT
X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000

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Robot Chicken 27: Cracked China
[DRILL]

00:00:09.042 --> 00:00:18.084 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
Robot Chicken 27: Cracked China
[DRILL]

00:00:18.151 --> 00:00:28.128 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> IT'S ALIVE!

00:00:28.194 --> 00:00:35.835 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> IT'S ALIVE!

00:00:35.902 --> 00:00:38.505 line:79% position:45% size:70%
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

00:00:38.571 --> 00:00:40.173 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> BOY, PULL MY FINGER.

00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:41.307 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> DON'T WANNA.

00:00:41.374 --> 00:00:44.310 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> WELL, I RECKON YOU BETTER DO
WHAT HE SAYS, BOY.

00:00:44.377 --> 00:00:45.145 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> HEY, GUYS.

00:00:45.211 --> 00:00:46.579 line:85% position:48% size:73%
READY TO SNORT SOME WHIPPITS?

00:00:46.646 --> 00:00:49.048 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> DUDE, THAT'S SO 2005.

00:00:49.115 --> 00:00:51.050 line:85% position:48% size:73%
WE'RE INTO NUMB CHUCKING NOW.

00:00:51.117 --> 00:00:52.152 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> NUMB CHUCKING?

00:00:52.218 --> 00:00:54.754 line:85% position:25% size:30%
LIKE NINJAS?

00:00:54.821 --> 00:00:55.655 line:85% position:15% size:10%
HEY!

00:00:55.722 --> 00:00:56.723 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> NUMB!

00:00:56.790 --> 00:00:57.924 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> OH, MY GOD!

00:00:57.991 --> 00:00:58.558 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> CHUCK!

00:00:58.625 --> 00:01:01.327 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> AAH! UHH!

00:01:01.394 --> 00:01:03.830 line:85% position:23% size:23%
HA HA HA!

00:01:03.897 --> 00:01:05.231 line:85% position:18% size:13%
YEAH!

00:01:05.298 --> 00:01:08.101 line:85% position:28% size:35%
AAH! HA HA HA!

00:01:08.168 --> 00:01:09.502 line:85% position:38% size:53%
OH, THAT WAS AWESOME.

00:01:09.569 --> 00:01:11.938 line:85% position:38% size:55%
I DIDN'T FEEL A THING!

00:01:12.005 --> 00:01:13.640 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> NUMB CHUCKING!

00:01:13.706 --> 00:01:15.141 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> HA HA HA!

00:01:15.208 --> 00:01:18.278 line:85% position:23% size:23%
HA HA HA!

00:01:18.344 --> 00:01:19.546 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> NUMB CHUCKING!

00:01:19.612 --> 00:01:24.818 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> WHOA! HA HA HA HA!

00:01:24.884 --> 00:01:27.220 line:85% position:18% size:13%
YEAH!

00:01:27.287 --> 00:01:28.755 line:85% position:15% size:10%
YAY!

00:01:28.822 --> 00:01:30.089 line:85% position:28% size:33%
THAT WAS FUN!

00:01:30.156 --> 00:01:31.558 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> 1, 2...

00:01:31.624 --> 00:01:34.360 line:85% position:28% size:35%
NUMB CHUCKING!

00:01:34.427 --> 00:01:38.131 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> AAH! UHH! AAH!

00:01:38.198 --> 00:01:39.499 line:85% position:28% size:35%
HEY, A HYBRID.

00:01:39.566 --> 00:01:40.500 line:85% position:23% size:25%
HEY, GUYS.

00:01:40.567 --> 00:01:41.768 line:85% position:35% size:50%
NUMB CHUCKING TODAY?

00:01:41.835 --> 00:01:42.969 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> NAH, DUDE.

00:01:43.036 --> 00:01:44.471 line:85% position:35% size:48%
WE'RE INTO POT NOW.

00:01:44.537 --> 00:01:45.438 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> POT?

00:01:45.505 --> 00:01:49.175 line:85% position:15% size:10%
AWW.

00:01:49.242 --> 00:01:50.276 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> BRAINS...

00:01:50.343 --> 00:01:51.478 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> HELLO. EXCUSE ME. HELLO.

00:01:51.544 --> 00:01:54.948 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
ARE YOU RADIOACTIVE ZOMBIES
LOOKING FOR BRAINS OR SURVIVORS

00:01:55.014 --> 00:01:59.185 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
THANKING THE ONE ATTRIBUTE
THAT'S KEPT YOU ALIVE?

00:01:59.252 --> 00:02:00.053 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> ZOMBIES.

00:02:00.119 --> 00:02:00.887 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> OH, OK.

00:02:00.954 --> 00:02:02.856 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT TO LIE TO
YOU.

00:02:02.922 --> 00:02:03.723 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> OF COURSE.

00:02:03.790 --> 00:02:07.627 line:79% position:23% size:23%
[PANTING]
>> UH-OH!

00:02:07.694 --> 00:02:09.162 line:85% position:40% size:58%
ARE YOU KIDS BEING BAD?

00:02:09.229 --> 00:02:10.363 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> YEAH!

00:02:10.430 --> 00:02:11.931 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

00:02:11.998 --> 00:02:13.700 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> PUNISHMENT FROM ABOVE!

00:02:13.766 --> 00:02:16.369 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
>> ♪ MY LITTLE PONY
APOCALYPSE PONY

00:02:16.436 --> 00:02:21.541 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
PUNISH MANKIND FOR THEIR SINS ♪
>> I'M PESTILENCE PONY!

00:02:21.608 --> 00:02:22.375 line:85% position:25% size:30%
TEE-HEE-HEE!

00:02:22.442 --> 00:02:24.577 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> I LOVE YOU, PESTILENCE PONY!

00:02:24.644 --> 00:02:29.749 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[COUGHING]
>> I'M FAMINE PONY!

00:02:29.816 --> 00:02:33.119 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start
[NEIGH]
>> AAH! OH!

00:02:33.186 --> 00:02:33.953 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> YAY!

00:02:34.020 --> 00:02:36.289 line:85% position:23% size:23%
WAR PONY!

00:02:36.356 --> 00:02:38.791 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
>> ♪ MY LITTLE PONY
APOCALYPSE PONY ♪

00:02:38.858 --> 00:02:40.226 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> NOW WHAT'S ALL THIS RACKET?

00:02:40.293 --> 00:02:41.427 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> MY GOODNESS!

00:02:41.494 --> 00:02:42.629 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> AND I AM...

00:02:42.695 --> 00:02:44.898 line:85% position:25% size:28%
DEATH PONY!

00:02:44.964 --> 00:02:46.099 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> OH, HOW SAD.

00:02:46.165 --> 00:02:47.867 line:85% position:43% size:65%
THE POOR THING CAN'T HEAR.

00:02:47.934 --> 00:02:54.274 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> NO, MOM, I THINK HE SAID--
[ROARING]

00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:57.143 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
>> ♪ MY LITTLE PONY
APOCALYPSE PONY

00:02:57.210 --> 00:03:01.247 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
PUNISH MANKIND FOR THEIR SINS ♪
>> I LOVE YOU, APOCALYPSE

00:03:01.314 --> 00:03:02.849 line:85% position:20% size:18%
PONIES!

00:03:02.916 --> 00:03:04.584 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> WAS I SPEEDING, OFFICER?

00:03:04.651 --> 00:03:07.287 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> NO, I PULLED YOU OVER BECAUSE
I WUV YOU.

00:03:07.353 --> 00:03:08.721 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> HEE HEE HEE!

00:03:08.788 --> 00:03:11.691 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I'LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST
TIME I MET EAGLE EYE SMITH.

00:03:11.758 --> 00:03:13.860 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
I WAS AT THE BAR LATE ONE NIGHT
WHEN...

00:03:13.927 --> 00:03:16.763 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> THE NAME'S EAGLE EYE, AND I'M
A CHAMPION.

00:03:16.829 --> 00:03:19.332 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
I CHALLENGE YOU 3 TO A GAME OF
POOL.

00:03:19.399 --> 00:03:21.000 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I WAS THE ONLY ONE NEAR THE
POOL TABLE.

00:03:21.067 --> 00:03:24.170 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT
EAGLE EYE WAS BLIND AS A BAT.

00:03:24.237 --> 00:03:27.140 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> I'M GONNA BREAK THIS PUPPY
WIDE OPEN.

00:03:27.206 --> 00:03:29.442 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> I COULDN'T HELP FEELING SORRY
FOR EAGLE EYE, SO I PICKED UP

00:03:29.509 --> 00:03:31.945 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
TWO POOL BALLS AND HELD THEM
CLOSE TO HIS EAR.

00:03:32.011 --> 00:03:33.246 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> GOOD SHOT, EAGLE EYE.

00:03:33.313 --> 00:03:35.081 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> DAMN STRAIGHT, FAT ASS.

00:03:35.148 --> 00:03:36.316 line:85% position:25% size:30%
I'M STRIPES.

00:03:36.382 --> 00:03:39.252 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> EAGLE EYE HIT A LOT OF BALLS
THAT NIGHT, BUT NOT ANY ON THE

00:03:39.319 --> 00:03:40.119 line:85% position:25% size:28%
POOL TABLE.

00:03:40.186 --> 00:03:42.422 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> 8 BALL, CORNER POCKET.

00:03:42.488 --> 00:03:43.623 line:85% position:30% size:38%
I'M A CHAMPION.

00:03:43.690 --> 00:03:45.725 line:79% position:48% size:75%
>> AND THOUGH HE MAY NOT HAVE
WON THE GAME, HE CERTAINLY WON

00:03:45.792 --> 00:03:49.329 line:85% position:23% size:23%
MY HEART.

00:03:49.395 --> 00:03:50.563 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> UHH!

00:03:50.630 --> 00:03:52.165 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> HOME RUN, EAGLE EYE.

00:03:52.231 --> 00:03:58.571 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> I'M A CHAMPION!

00:03:58.638 --> 00:03:59.872 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> STRIKE, EAGLE EYE.

00:03:59.939 --> 00:04:01.474 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> I'M A CHAMPION!

00:04:01.541 --> 00:04:02.508 line:85% position:28% size:33%
I CAN'T WAIT.

00:04:02.575 --> 00:04:03.643 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> KEEP YOUR SKI TIPS UP.

00:04:03.710 --> 00:04:05.311 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
WE'RE ALMOST AT THE TOP OF THE
LIFT.

00:04:05.378 --> 00:04:06.779 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> I'M GONNA BE A CHAMPION!

00:04:06.846 --> 00:04:08.648 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> OK, THIS IS IT.

00:04:08.715 --> 00:04:13.319 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> THESE ALPS ARE MY BITCH,
MOTHER[BEEP].

00:04:13.386 --> 00:04:14.754 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> EAGLE EYE, ARE YOU OK?

00:04:14.821 --> 00:04:18.024 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> SOMETIMES, JOHNNY, IT'S SCARY
BEING BLIND.

00:04:18.091 --> 00:04:21.761 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> WELL, EAGLE EYE, NOBODY ELSE
CAN SEE, EITHER.

00:04:21.828 --> 00:04:23.329 line:85% position:45% size:68%
THE SUN WENT OUT YEARS AGO.

00:04:23.396 --> 00:04:24.397 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> REALLY?

00:04:24.464 --> 00:04:26.332 line:85% position:40% size:58%
SO WE'RE ALL CHAMPIONS?

00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:27.367 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> YEAH.

00:04:27.433 --> 00:04:28.701 line:85% position:35% size:50%
WE'RE ALL CHAMPIONS.

00:04:28.768 --> 00:04:31.638 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start
[SOBBING]
>> CHAMPIONS.

00:04:31.704 --> 00:04:33.406 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> I AIN'T GONNA LAUGH AT YOU.

00:04:33.473 --> 00:04:35.875 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> ALL RIGHT, DON'T GET ALL GAY
ON ME, FATSO.

00:04:35.942 --> 00:04:38.645 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
I'M GONNA GO SHOW MY GIRLFRIEND
A GOOD TIME.

00:04:38.711 --> 00:04:44.517 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> HAVE FUN, EAGLE EYE.

00:04:44.584 --> 00:04:46.819 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, BABY?

00:04:46.886 --> 00:04:47.987 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> OH, EAGLE EYE.

00:04:48.054 --> 00:04:49.222 line:85% position:28% size:35%
YOU'RE SO BIG.

00:04:49.288 --> 00:04:50.523 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> YOU KNOW IT, WOMAN!

00:04:50.590 --> 00:04:52.025 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> YOU'RE A CHAMPION, EAGLE EYE.

00:04:52.091 --> 00:04:52.892 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> THAT'S RIGHT.

00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:54.460 line:85% position:30% size:38%
I'M A CHAMPION!

00:04:54.527 --> 00:04:55.528 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> PIKACHU.

00:04:55.595 --> 00:04:57.830 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> JIGGLYPUFF.

00:04:57.897 --> 00:04:59.032 line:85% position:20% size:20%
OOH-WEE!

00:04:59.098 --> 00:04:59.832 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> CHU! CHU!

00:04:59.899 --> 00:05:00.733 line:85% position:20% size:20%
PIKACHU!

00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:04.771 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> BACK INTO YOUR POKEBALL,
PIKACHU.

00:05:04.837 --> 00:05:07.040 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
>> I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE
INSIDE THOSE POKEBALLS.

00:05:07.106 --> 00:05:09.242 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> I WONDER WHEN YOU'LL SHUT UP
AND MAKE MY DINNER.

00:05:09.308 --> 00:05:19.285 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
>> ARE YOU READY TO BATTLE, ASS?

00:05:19.352 --> 00:05:26.592 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
>> ARE YOU READY TO BATTLE, ASS?

00:05:26.659 --> 00:05:28.461 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> MY NAME IS ASH!

00:05:28.528 --> 00:05:29.495 line:85% position:20% size:20%
PIKACHU!

00:05:29.562 --> 00:05:31.197 line:85% position:28% size:33%
I CHOOSE YOU!

00:05:31.264 --> 00:05:32.365 line:85% position:20% size:20%
PIKACHU!

00:05:32.432 --> 00:05:34.000 line:85% position:28% size:33%
I CHOOSE YOU!

00:05:34.067 --> 00:05:41.841 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start
["YOU" ECHOING]
[GULP]

00:05:41.908 --> 00:05:48.548 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> PIKA. PIKA.

00:05:48.614 --> 00:05:53.553 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
[SQUAWKING]
>> GO GET HIM, PIKACHU.

00:05:53.619 --> 00:05:59.759 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start
[SIGH]
>> PIKACHU.

00:05:59.826 --> 00:06:03.463 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> HE SAID HE WOULD PHONE, AND
YET HE HASN'T PHONED.

00:06:03.529 --> 00:06:07.633 line:85% position:38% size:53%
HE KNOWS HOW I WORRY.

00:06:07.700 --> 00:06:08.601 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> OH, YEAH.

00:06:08.668 --> 00:06:09.902 line:85% position:20% size:20%
KING ME.

00:06:09.969 --> 00:06:12.271 line:85% position:45% size:68%
KING THIS [BEEP] RIGHT NOW.

00:06:12.338 --> 00:06:14.607 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT,
LOUIS.

00:06:14.674 --> 00:06:16.476 line:85% position:45% size:68%
I HOPE YOU DIE OF A STROKE.

00:06:16.542 --> 00:06:17.710 line:85% position:15% size:8%
OH!

00:06:17.777 --> 00:06:18.911 line:85% position:15% size:10%
AAH!

00:06:18.978 --> 00:06:22.448 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> LOUIS, WE'VE COME FROM MANY
GALAXIES AWAY.

00:06:22.515 --> 00:06:26.519 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> WE HAVE BEEN MONITORING YOUR
GREAT CHECKERS PROWESS.

00:06:26.586 --> 00:06:31.190 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> WE HAVE DETERMINED THAT YOU
ARE THE CHAMPION WE NEED TO SAVE

00:06:31.257 --> 00:06:32.892 line:85% position:33% size:43%
OUR CIVILIZATION.

00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:38.998 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> YEAH!

00:06:39.065 --> 00:06:40.233 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> ARE YOU READY, LOUIS?

00:06:40.299 --> 00:06:41.100 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> NO SWEAT.

00:06:41.167 --> 00:06:42.568 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> HERE THEY COME!

00:06:42.635 --> 00:06:44.203 line:85% position:30% size:38%
SAVE US, LOUIS!

00:06:44.270 --> 00:06:46.739 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> SIT BACK AND WATCH THE SHOW,
BITCH.

00:06:46.806 --> 00:07:01.287 line:85% position:18% size:13%
YEAH!

00:07:01.354 --> 00:07:04.023 line:85% position:50% size:78%
KING ME, YOU EXTRATERRESTICLES.

00:07:04.090 --> 00:07:07.260 line:85% position:30% size:38%
LA LA LA LA LA!

00:07:07.326 --> 00:07:09.328 line:85% position:35% size:48%
IN YOUR FACE! YEAH!

00:07:09.395 --> 00:07:10.296 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> PULL BACK!

00:07:10.363 --> 00:07:12.899 line:85% position:45% size:70%
THEIR CHAMPION IS TOO GREAT!

00:07:12.965 --> 00:07:15.334 line:85% position:15% size:10%
AAH!

00:07:15.401 --> 00:07:17.003 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> YOU SAVED US, LOUIS!

00:07:17.069 --> 00:07:17.870 line:85% position:23% size:23%
SAVED US!

00:07:17.937 --> 00:07:19.806 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> SAVED US, SAVED US, SAVED US!

00:07:19.872 --> 00:07:23.309 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> YOU SAVED US, LOUIS!

00:07:23.376 --> 00:07:24.544 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> MOM!

00:07:24.610 --> 00:07:26.312 line:85% position:15% size:10%
MOM!

00:07:26.379 --> 00:07:28.214 line:85% position:45% size:68%
I THINK LOUIS HAD A STROKE!

00:07:28.281 --> 00:07:30.283 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> KING...ME.

00:07:30.349 --> 00:07:31.751 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS, FOLKS.

00:07:31.818 --> 00:07:36.689 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
TERRY THE GREAT STANDS POISED TO
DELIVER THE FINISHING BLOW.

00:07:36.756 --> 00:07:37.523 line:85% position:15% size:10%
UHH!

00:07:37.590 --> 00:07:40.193 line:85% position:20% size:20%
1, 2, 3.

00:07:40.259 --> 00:07:41.394 line:85% position:23% size:23%
HA HA HA!

00:07:41.460 --> 00:07:45.164 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> OH, AND HERE COMES DAD--
TOP CONTENDER FOR BILLY'S TITLE.

00:07:45.231 --> 00:07:46.132 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> NO, DAD, WAIT!

00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:49.135 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> FLYING DAD BOMB!

00:07:49.202 --> 00:07:50.937 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
HONEY, COME IN HERE AND COUNT
THIS.

00:07:51.003 --> 00:07:51.771 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> OK.

00:07:51.838 --> 00:07:53.306 line:85% position:20% size:20%
1, 2, 3.

00:07:53.372 --> 00:07:54.540 line:85% position:23% size:23%
DAD WINS.

00:07:54.607 --> 00:07:55.408 line:85% position:15% size:10%
YAY.

00:07:55.474 --> 00:07:56.342 line:85% position:35% size:48%
NOW COME TO DINNER.

00:07:56.409 --> 00:07:58.277 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> DAD IS THE CHAMPION.

00:07:58.344 --> 00:08:01.814 line:85% position:30% size:38%
YOU'RE A LOSER.

00:08:01.881 --> 00:08:03.583 line:79% position:48% size:75%
>> YOUR BOSS AT THE ACCOUNTING
FIRM TELLS YOU TO COLLATE THE

00:08:03.649 --> 00:08:06.752 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
DATA, BUT EXCEL HASN'T BACKED UP
THE FILE YET.

00:08:06.819 --> 00:08:07.620 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> SAVING THROW!

00:08:07.687 --> 00:08:15.461 line:85% position:43% size:63%
THEN I DO A SAVING THROW!

00:08:15.528 --> 00:08:18.764 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> DOROTHY HERE, DRINKING MY
PRUNE JUICE MARTINI.

00:08:18.831 --> 00:08:21.934 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
RECENTLY, MY SEX DRIVE HAS TAKEN
A MENOPAUSE.

00:08:22.001 --> 00:08:25.438 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
I DECIDED TO MEET UP WITH ROSE,
BLANCHE, AND SOPHIA AT KATZ'S

00:08:25.504 --> 00:08:29.976 line:79% position:50% size:75%
DELI FOR SOME PASTRAMI ON RYE,
BECAUSE LORD KNOWS MY DRY OLD

00:08:30.042 --> 00:08:32.445 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
PASTRAMI WASN'T GETTING ANY
ACTION AT HOME.

00:08:32.511 --> 00:08:36.115 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
GIRLS, LET'S TELL OUR NASTIEST
SEX STORIES.

00:08:36.182 --> 00:08:36.983 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> CHECK, PLEASE.

00:08:37.049 --> 00:08:38.718 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> BLANCHE, YOU START.

00:08:38.784 --> 00:08:42.788 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> WELL, A FEW WEEKS AGO, MY
GOOD FRIEND ALBERTA PASSED AWAY.

00:08:42.855 --> 00:08:46.459 line:79% position:48% size:75%
NOW, I KNEW ALBERTA'S HUSBAND
WAS A REAL SHAKER IN THE SACK.

00:08:46.525 --> 00:08:48.527 line:85% position:40% size:60%
SEE, HE HAD PARKINSON'S.

00:08:48.594 --> 00:08:50.396 line:85% position:33% size:45%
WE MET THAT NIGHT.

00:08:50.463 --> 00:08:53.466 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
OH, MY BODY WAS TINGLING ALL
OVER FROM THE SIGHT OF HIS

00:08:53.532 --> 00:08:57.103 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
MANHOOD, SO I SAID, "DO YOU WANT
A GUMMER?"

00:08:57.169 --> 00:09:01.440 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY
NO-DENTURE ADVENTURE, HIS SPIRIT

00:09:01.507 --> 00:09:06.545 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
RELEASED ITSELF, IN MORE THAN
ONE WAY.

00:09:06.612 --> 00:09:08.080 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> HE DIED?

00:09:08.147 --> 00:09:10.016 line:79% position:48% size:73%
>> BLANCHE, IT GOES TO FIGURE
THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD KEEP A

00:09:10.082 --> 00:09:11.984 line:85% position:50% size:78%
GUY STIFF IS WITH RIGOR MORTIS.

00:09:12.051 --> 00:09:15.054 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
[LAUGHING]
>> LOOKING FOR THAT CHECK.

00:09:15.121 --> 00:09:17.757 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> ROSE, WHAT WAS YOUR DIRTIEST
SEX STORY?

00:09:17.823 --> 00:09:21.694 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> TWO NIGHTS AGO, I MET UP WITH
AN OLD BOYFRIEND FROM ST. OLAF

00:09:21.761 --> 00:09:24.330 line:85% position:48% size:75%
WHO I HADN'T SEEN IN 50 YEARS.

00:09:24.397 --> 00:09:27.934 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS AN AFFAIR
TO FORGET.

00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:32.672 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
SVEN, REMEMBER WHEN WE DID IT
ONCE IN THE ICE SHED BY THE LAKE

00:09:32.738 --> 00:09:34.640 line:85% position:45% size:70%
AND WE GOT STUCK TO THE ICE?

00:09:34.707 --> 00:09:35.608 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> I LOVE THAT MOVIE.

00:09:35.675 --> 00:09:36.742 line:85% position:35% size:50%
ARE YOU MY DAUGHTER?

00:09:36.809 --> 00:09:38.678 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> SVEN HAD ALZHEIMER'S.

00:09:38.744 --> 00:09:39.645 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> SAY MY NAME.

00:09:39.712 --> 00:09:40.579 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> MARGARET?

00:09:40.646 --> 00:09:42.548 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> NO, THAT'S NOT IT.

00:09:42.615 --> 00:09:43.549 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> JUDY!

00:09:43.616 --> 00:09:44.483 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> NO.

00:09:44.550 --> 00:09:45.318 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> ROGER?

00:09:45.384 --> 00:09:46.352 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> GOOD ENOUGH.

00:09:46.419 --> 00:09:50.256 line:79% position:10% size:25% align:start
[LAUGHING]
>> OK.

00:09:50.323 --> 00:09:51.457 line:85% position:33% size:43%
NOW IT'S MY TURN.

00:09:51.524 --> 00:09:52.625 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> COME ON.

00:09:52.692 --> 00:09:54.527 line:79% position:48% size:73%
WE ALL KNOW AS WELL AS YOU DO
THAT THE CLOSEST YOU'RE EVER

00:09:54.593 --> 00:09:56.862 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
GONNA GET TO A MAN IS BY LOOKING
IN THE MIRROR.

00:09:56.929 --> 00:09:58.397 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> MOM, YOU'RE BEING TESTY.

00:09:58.464 --> 00:09:59.632 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> YOU HAVE TESTES.

00:09:59.699 --> 00:10:00.466 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> FINE, MOM.

00:10:00.533 --> 00:10:01.834 line:85% position:50% size:68%
WHY DON'T YOU TELL A STORY?

00:10:01.901 --> 00:10:04.337 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> MY NASTIEST SEX STORY WOULD
HAVE TO BE WHEN I WAS A

00:10:04.403 --> 00:10:06.539 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
CHEERLEADER FOR THE HIGH SCHOOL
BASKETBALL TEAM.

00:10:06.605 --> 00:10:10.443 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> SOPHIA, I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE
A CHEERLEADER IN HIGH SCHOOL.

00:10:10.509 --> 00:10:11.277 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> I WASN'T.

00:10:11.344 --> 00:10:12.645 line:85% position:35% size:48%
THIS WAS LAST WEEK.

00:10:12.712 --> 00:10:14.547 line:85% position:23% size:23%
GO, TEAM!

00:10:14.613 --> 00:10:16.082 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> BLECH!

00:10:16.148 --> 00:10:17.616 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> IT WAS WONDERFUL.

00:10:17.683 --> 00:10:18.951 line:85% position:40% size:58%
THEY RAN A TRAIN ON ME.

00:10:19.018 --> 00:10:20.286 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> ALL ABOARD.

00:10:20.353 --> 00:10:24.190 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I HAD MORE BALLS IN MY FACE
THAN A CIRCUS SEAL.

00:10:24.256 --> 00:10:27.493 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
[LAUGHING]
>> I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE SOME

00:10:27.560 --> 00:10:28.694 line:85% position:35% size:48%
MONEY ON THE TABLE.

00:10:28.761 --> 00:10:32.098 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> THE GIRLS LIKE IT WILD, BUT I
PREFER A QUIET NIGHT AT HOME

00:10:32.164 --> 00:10:35.835 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
PLAYING JEOPARDY WITH MY HAND ON
THE BUZZER.

00:10:35.901 --> 00:10:45.878 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
[SOFT BUZZING]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

00:10:45.945 --> 00:10:57.923 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
[SOFT BUZZING]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

00:10:57.990 --> 00:10:59.725 line:79% position:45% size:68%
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

00:10:59.792 --> 00:11:00.793 line:79% position:35% size:50%
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]