1
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,041
>> HA HA HA!

2
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:15,048
[WHIRRING]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

3
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:27,761
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> IT'S ALIVE!

4
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:37,804
>> HA HA HA!

5
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:42,876
>> HA HA HA!

6
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:43,943
>> CAN I PLAY?

7
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,912
>> WILL YOU GO TO HELL, YOU
PIECE OF GARBAGE?

8
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:55,955
>> [CRYING]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]

9
00:00:56,022 --> 00:01:04,230
>> [CRYING]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]

10
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,199
>> BUENO. BUENO.

11
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,634
PERFECTO.

12
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,903
GRANDE. GRANDE.

13
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:13,306
>> EL PRESIDENTE, TENEMOS UNA
SITUATION MUY SERIOSO.

14
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:17,343
UN HOMBRE IS SCORING VERY HIGH
EN EL DANCE DANCE REVOLUCION.

15
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,845
>> DIOS MIO.

16
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,114
>> BUENO. PERFECTO.

17
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:23,216
>> SILENCIO.

18
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:27,120
I CHALLENGE YOUR REVOLUTION
CON UNA DANCE DANCE

19
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:30,623
COUNTERREVOLUTION.

20
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:35,195
LET'S DO "321 BOOM: MEGA REMIX,"
BY DJ SASSYTOWN, FEATURING LADY

21
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,197
GODIVA.

22
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:42,134
[COINS DROP]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]

23
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:45,638
>> BUENO. BUENO.

24
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:48,741
>> BUENO. PERFECTO. PERFECTO.

25
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:51,277
>> MALO. MALO.

26
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,746
NO ES BUENO.

27
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:56,749
MALO. NO ES BUENO.

28
00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:57,851
>> RGH!

29
00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,786
>> ANTIBUENO.

30
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:04,724
>> MM MM MM MM.

31
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:11,097
[MEN CHEERING]
HA HA HA!

32
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,700
TU ESTA BANDA PUDU.

33
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:14,901
HA HA HA!

34
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,003
>> THIS IS FOR MY CUBAN PEOPLE.

35
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:27,046
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]

36
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:36,555
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]

37
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:40,560
[PEOPLE GROAN]
>> SI! SI!

38
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:45,932
YO SOY THE BEST DANCER DANCER IN
EL MUNDO.

39
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,369
I HAVE QUELLED YOUR REVOLUTION,
BUT I MUST SAY, YOUR BRAVERY IS

40
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:50,503
INSPIRING.

41
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:55,275
I HONOR AND RESPECT YOUR COURAGE
AND CONVICTION.

42
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,944
I LOVE DOING THAT.

43
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,147
>> PRESIDENTE, UNA SENORA ES
BEATING YOUR HIGH SCORE ON

44
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,315
DIG DUG.

45
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:05,251
>> GET ME SOME TOKENS.

46
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,353
>> I DON'T KNOW.

47
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,355
MAYBE IF WE USED SOME TOYS.

48
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:10,924
>> OH, YEAH.

49
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,859
GONNA FINISH THE JOB.

50
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:23,536
I'M ABOUT TO TAME THAT ASS.

51
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,071
>> RRGH!

52
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,006
>> UH...UH...

53
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,408
UH-OH. OH.

54
00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:29,576
I MUST'VE LOST HIM.

55
00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,445
[TIRES SCREECH]
>> BLAGH!

56
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,781
>> YOU KNOW, SINCE I'M OUT, I
MIGHT AS WELL PICK UP SOME MILK.

57
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:38,952
[TIRES SQUEAL]
>> BLAGH.

58
00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:39,786
>> WAIT A SECOND.

59
00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:43,323
I HAVE MILK AT HOME.

60
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,258
♪ LA LA LA
LET'S HAVE SOME MILK

61
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,628
LA LA LA, MILK IS GOOD
LA LA LA LA LA

62
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,997
GOING HOME TO HAVE SOME MILK
YEAH, YEAH, GONNA DRINK MILK

63
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,633
HAVE SWEET DREAMS ♪
>> I'M SORRY MY POWERS SCREWED

64
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,134
YOUR LIFE UP AGAIN, MASTER.

65
00:03:55,201 --> 00:04:01,007
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

66
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,743
AAH! AAH! MASTER!

67
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,113
>> AND I WANT TO THANK MY COACH,
WHO PUSHED ME HARD, AND MY

68
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:13,152
PARENTS AND SATAN--WHOO, SATAN--
AND MY GRANDMA, WHO COULDN'T BE

69
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,654
HERE TODAY.

70
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:18,725
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
>> SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, DIRK,

71
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:22,362
THE MINIVAN OR THE SPORTS CAR?

72
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:30,837
[TRUMPET]
HA HA! NICE CHOICE.

73
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:38,144
[TRUMPET]
[TRUMPET]

74
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:41,781
[TRUMPET]
[FANFARE]

75
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:44,683
[TRUMPET]
[TRUMPET]

76
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,553
[FANFARE]
>> SPARE SOME CHANGE?

77
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,188
>> I'M A VETERAN.

78
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,157
>> YO, MAN, LET ME CLEAN OUT
YOUR WINDOWS FOR A DOLLAR.

79
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,726
>> HEY, BOOGIE BOOGIE, MY BRAIN
IS AN ANTELOPE.

80
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,696
HAVE SOME MUSTARD BECAUSE IT'S
EASTER IN YOUR FACE.

81
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:57,830
MY TOENAILS.

82
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:58,998
>> THE TEST RESULTS ARE IN.

83
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,067
IT'S RECTAL CANCER.

84
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,704
SO SHOULD WE GO WITH CHEMO OR
HOLISTIC MEDICINE?

85
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:09,042
[BUZZ]
>> HA HA HA!

86
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,476
>> BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

87
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,178
>> YAY! FOREVER.

88
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:19,218
>> [SCREECH]
>> OH, MY BALLS!

89
00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:20,953
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BALLS?

90
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,790
WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS TO MY
BALLS?

91
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,626
>> THIS SHOW IS SO CLEVER.

92
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,294
>> IT JUST HAPPENED SO FAST.

93
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,295
>> ALL RIGHT.

94
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,263
NOW JUST TAKE IT EASY.

95
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:32,965
>> THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY
LIFE.

96
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:43,009
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]

97
00:05:43,076 --> 00:06:06,499
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]

98
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:13,706
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
>> ...ALL THANKS TO STEM CELL

99
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:14,807
RESEARCH.

100
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:15,942
>> UH-HUH.

101
00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:18,711
>> SO, MISS LOHAN, IT'S
12 MILLION PLUS GROSS POINTS.

102
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,313
JUST SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE.

103
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,347
>> HOLD ON A SECOND.

104
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,882
I HAVE SOME REQUEMPS.

105
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:27,987
I WANT A BIG TRAILER, AND I WANT
A TRAILER IN MY TRAILER, AND MY

106
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,791
DOG NEEDS AN ASSISTANT DOG.

107
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:36,195
>> UH, I ASSURE YOU THAT ALL OF
YOUR, UH--

108
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,263
MISS LOHAN?

109
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,198
>> LINDSEY? PUMPKIN?

110
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,167
CAN YOU MAKE THAT CHECK OUT
TO CASH?

111
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,303
THAT'S MY NICKNAME FOR HER.

112
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:47,707
>> CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, MISS
LOHAN--DIET SPRITE, SQUIRT,

113
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:52,578
COC...A-COLA?

114
00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:55,114
>> LINDSEY LOHAN.

115
00:06:55,181 --> 00:07:06,225
>> AMANDA BYNES.

116
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:10,596
>> JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED
ANYTHING.

117
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,865
>> IT TOTALLY CAN'T END LIKE
THIS.

118
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,267
MY NEW ALBUM DROPS TOMORROW.

119
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,603
>> LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL BE SELLING
THEM POSTHUMOROUS.

120
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,373
POSTHUM--
POSTHUMMUS. UGH.

121
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:22,642
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

122
00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:28,214
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

123
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,450
[THUNDER]
DOES THIS POWER MAKE ME LOOK

124
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:33,386
FAT?

125
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:34,420
>> NOT A PROBLEM.

126
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:35,588
WE'LL BLAME IT ON HER FATHER.

127
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:36,823
>> WORKS FOR ME.

128
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:42,595
[THUNDER]
>> IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T REALIZED

129
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,598
IT BY NOW, THIS IS A
"HIGHLANDER" PARODY.

130
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,700
>> WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GONNA GET
AN OSCAR.

131
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,903
>> IF BY "OSCAR," YOU MEAN "GET
YOUR HEAD CUT OFF," YOU'RE ON

132
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,239
YOUR WAY IF YOU DON'T TRAIN
HARDER.

133
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,242
>> UH, THAT TOTALLY ISN'T WHAT I
MEANT, STUPID.

134
00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,411
YOU SMELL LIKE WHISKEY, AND I
WANT TO GO SHOPPING.

135
00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,947
>> AND THEY COMPLAIN WHEN I
SMACK MY WIFE.

136
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:03,549
YOU MUST HARNESS YOUR GIFTS FOR
THE GATHERING.

137
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:04,450
>> WHAT GATHERING?

138
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:05,751
YOU'RE GATHERING.

139
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,054
>> ALL THE TEEN STARLETS WILL
FEEL THE URGE TO FIGHT FOR THE

140
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,121
PRIZE.

141
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:12,592
IN THE END, THERE CAN BE ONLY
ONE.

142
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,960
>> WHAT PRIZE?

143
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,194
AS IN OSCAR?

144
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,463
I'M GONNA WIN ONE BECAUSE I'M
LINDSEY LOHAN.

145
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:25,872
LO-HAN. LOHAN. I'M NOT SLURRING.

146
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,673
>> NEVER LOSE YOUR TEMPER.

147
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,141
>> NEVER LOSE MY TAMPA?

148
00:08:29,207 --> 00:08:30,109
>> TEMPER.

149
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,044
>> ACH, I HATE YOUR SLURRING,
YOU DRUNK.

150
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,380
>> I'M NOT DRUNK. I'M SCOTTISH.

151
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:39,652
>> OH, SURE, AND I WAS IN THE
HOSPITAL FOR EXHAUSTION.

152
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,755
>> TOUCHE. NOW YOU'RE READY.

153
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:43,823
>> GOOD.

154
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,525
>> OOH! OH, YOU GOT ME IN THE
POUNDER PLUMS.

155
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:51,430
[THUNDER]
OH, COLDER THAN A WITCH'S TEAT

156
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:52,665
TONIGHT.

157
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,133
BETTER HEAT UP THE SAUCE.

158
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,068
>> WHERE'S LOHAN?

159
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,104
>> YOU'RE TOO LATE, HILLARY
DUFF.

160
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,706
I'VE ALREADY PREPARED HER FOR
YOU.

161
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,341
>> YOU WASTED YOUR TIME. UH!

162
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:03,643
>> MY ALCOHOL!

163
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,810
>> UHH!

164
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,979
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

165
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:11,017
>> WAIT!

166
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,519
AHH. OK.

167
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,655
>> YOU'RE NEXT, LINDSEY.

168
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:19,759
>> I LOST 150 POUNDS, AND NOBODY
TAKES ME SERIOUSLY.

169
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,794
MAYBE I'LL ADOPT A BROWN KID.

170
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,095
WHAT?

171
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:26,799
>> HE'S DEAD, AS ARE THE OLSEN
TWINS.

172
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:29,802
I EVEN DECAPITATED MY SISTER
HAYLIE, THOUGH SHE DIDN'T HAVE

173
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,171
ANY POWERS, AND THAT WAS REALLY
AWKWARD TO EXPLAIN TO MOM AND

174
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,272
DAD.

175
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:36,275
ONLY YOU AND I REMAIN.

176
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:37,476
>> YOU BITCH.

177
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,678
>> WATCH IT, LOHAN.

178
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,646
WE CAN'T FIGHT ON HOLY GROUND.

179
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:43,282
>> YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME,
DUFF.

180
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,651
>> SO NOW IT ENDS.

181
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:48,154
THE POWER IS MINE, LOHAN.

182
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:49,555
>> NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.

183
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,489
>> SLUT!

184
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,324
>> WHORE!

185
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,325
>> WHITE TRASH!

186
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,826
>> "AGENT CODY" SKANK.

187
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,395
>> AARON CARTER LOVES ME.

188
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,131
>> AARON SAID YOUR TOES WERE
GROSS.

189
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,900
>> YOUR ALBUM SUCKS!

190
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,768
>> MY ALBUM SUCKS!

191
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:11,744
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

192
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,613
> I KNOW. I KNOW EVERYTHING.

193
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,716
I AM EVERYTHING.

194
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:20,653
I HAVE THE POWER.

195
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,588
>> YOU HAVE DONE WELL.

196
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,658
USE YOUR POWERS WISELY, MY
CHILD.

197
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,627
>> I WILL.

198
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:32,898
UNLIMITED POWER!

199
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,200
HA HA HA!

200
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:38,304
>> UH, IS THIS REALLY HOW
"HIGHLANDER" ENDED?

201
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:41,907
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

202
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,410
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

203
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,413
--www.ncicap.org--]