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[ Theme music playing ]
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Lever clicks ]
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♪♪
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Man: It's alive!
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[ Robot chicken clucking ]
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♪♪
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[ Laughing evilly ]
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♪♪
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Ghost Rider,
the tribe has spoken.
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Oh,
damn you all to hell.
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[ Bell rings ]
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Listen up, you little brats.
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Your antics at recess
have been
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entirely too wild,
zany, and satirical.
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So today I brought in a guest
to scare you straight.
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Mr. Davidson.
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Holy whomps,
that guy is jacked.
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I had a lot of time to work out
when I was in the big house.
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Whoa,
you were in prison?
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I sure was.
Locked up in a cage,
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no say in what I eat,
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only allowed outside
for an hour a day.
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Tender.
In prison, you get a whole hour
of recess every day?!
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Galileo, how much more recess
is that
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than our current
amount of recess?
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Approximately 319 more hours
of recess per year.
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Wow! Prison is
like recess heaven!
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Ooh, let's do some crimes
so that we can all go to prison!
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-Yeah!
-Yeah! Anarchy!
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Please don't tell
my parole officer about this.
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Goodnight, moon.
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Goodnight,
cow leaping over the moon.
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Goodnight, clock.
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Goodnight, painting.
Goodnight, wall.
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Goodnight, rug.
Goodnight, crumbs on the floor.
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Man: Will you just shut up
and go the hell to sleep?!
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Damn it, every night
we go through this!
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You live in
an apartment complex!
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Have some common courtesy,
my God!
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[ Crying ]
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Oh, you guys look
more depressed than me,
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a famously
depressed donkey.
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Oh, Eeyore,
it's horrible.
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Melancholia's
going to destroy us all.
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Oh, yeah. Too bad they don't
make SSRIs for stuffed animals.
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No, the rogue planet
Melancholia
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that's headed
straight for Earth.
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Well, that's just...
wonderful.
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But we're all gonna
d-d-die!
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I do not mourn
the Hundred Acre Wood.
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All I've known here
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is the misery of having a tail
that will not stay on
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and a house
that refuses to stand up.
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Let us embrace death together,
my friends.
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Oh, bother,
that's bleak.
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Ohhh.
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♪♪
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Oh, dear!
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What happened?
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It must have
burnt up on entry.
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We're saved!
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Oh, fuck me.
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Reporter: We can now confirm
reports that Princess Diana
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has died today
in a motor vehicle accident.
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Diana may be dead,
but her legacy will live on
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through me,
the Princess Diana Beanie Baby.
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♪♪
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I can't believe
I finally got my braces off!
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Oh, my God.
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Braceface,
what are we gonna call you
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if you don't have braces
anymore?
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Just Face?
You're right.
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Without my braces,
who am I?
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Help me, Maria!
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[ Screaming ]
Ow, ow, ow!
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I'm back, baby.
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Call my dentist.
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Mama needs some fresh
mouth metal.
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Oh, Alita, it's so neato Dr. Ido
let me join you to eat-o.
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I'm a great cook,
if I do say so myself.
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Oh, Hugo,
that looks good.
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Wait, are these
my contact lenses?
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These things are 300 space bucks
a pair, you scrap scavenger!
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Narrator:
If you give a mouse a cookie,
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he will accept it.
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If he accepts a cookie,
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he will get spammed.
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If he gets spammed,
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he will be asked to buy
penis enlargement pills.
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If he buys penis
enlargement pills,
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he will grow a ♪ super dong ♪
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If he grows a super dong,
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he will get a job
doing weird fetish porn.
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If you get a job doing
weird fetish porn,
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he will get discovered
by a sleazy Hollywood producer.
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If he gets noticed by
a sleazy Hollywood producer,
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he will transition
into legitimate movies.
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If he transitions
into legitimate movies,
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audiences will be
grossed out by his giant dong.
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If audiences are grossed out
by his giant dong,
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he will be blacklisted
from Hollywood.
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If he is blacklisted
from Hollywood,
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he won't have money to spend
on penis enlargement pills.
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If he doesn't have money
to spend
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on penis enlargement pills,
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his giant dong will shrivel up
and fall off.
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And if his giant dong
shrivels up and falls off,
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then a bird will think
it's a worm.
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And if a bird thinks
it's a wor--
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What do you mean,
they canceled our show, T-Bone?
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We're the Extreme Dinosaurs.
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No one wants to watch a group
of ripped dinosaurs fight crime
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when there's already ripped
Street Sharks that fight crime.
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00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:08,841
And don't forget ripped mutant
ninja turtles that fight crime.
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The jacked Biker Mice from Mars
that fight crime.
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Let's face it, boys,
we're practically fossils.
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I beg to differ.
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John Hammond, paleontologist,
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theme park impresario,
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and subject of
the world's first
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dinosaur-based
class-action lawsuit.
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I have an idea
I think could benefit us both.
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His last idea went off
without a hitch.
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Go on.
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Believe me,
their dinosaur bods
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are the only thing
that are Jurassic.
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I'm talking about their penises.
Huge cocks. Enjoy.
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-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah, baby.
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Give me my rent money.
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Honestly, this is way more
fulfilling the fighting crime.
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Yeah, I definitely like being
paid for my body.
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I have a dollar bill
up my butthole.
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Jinkies!
Zoinks!
Roinks!
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Bingo-bango!
Alakazam!
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Dude.
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Did you two just try to
use exclamatory catchphrases?
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You guys are always doing them,
so we thought why not try it?
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00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,796
But, like, dude,
that's our thing.
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Jesus, you guys are the hot fun.
We're the awkward ones.
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Our catchphrases
are all we have.
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Yeah.
And "Bingo-bango"? "Alakazam"?
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Come on, man.
Reave it to the pros.
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We can come up with
something better.
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Hmm. I don't know.
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Aah!
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Jinkies!
Zoinks!
Roinks!
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Gunky-bunky!
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Daddy issues!
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♪♪
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Uh, Daph, did you
just yell "daddy issues"?
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I'm bad at improv,
okay?!
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[ Cackles ]
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Zoinks!
Roly ruck!
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It's the Old Town Spook!
Jinkies!
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Bazinga!
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No, that's
"The Big Bang Theory."
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[ Sputtering ]
Uh, Daph?
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Daphne! No!
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Those two should
really just stick to being hot.
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Why are we stampeding?
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So, Ralph's kid
yelled hyena again,
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and all of a sudden, Shirley
just took off stampeding.
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Shirley's all stampeding.
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Take a Xanax, Shirley,
honest to God.
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Mufasa: Help me, brother!
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Aaah!
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Bill, I think we just ran over
a full-grown lion.
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No,
it was a rock.
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If that was a rock, then why is
my hoof covered in brains?
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Maybe the lion was carrying
an extra brain?
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I don't know.
Oh, no!
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Oh, we should see if
he's okay.
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You just hoof-stomped his skull.
Do you think he's okay?
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Just keep going!
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We should at least leave a note.
It's common courtesy.
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Alright, merging right.
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Get out of my way.
Get -- Let me over.
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♪♪
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Father!
181
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[ Crying ]
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Huh?
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Well, at least they left a note.
That's common courtesy.
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Are you sure
we don't need to
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pack everything up
for the movers?
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Apparently, this place
does it all.
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[ Doorbell rings ]
188
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Hi. Come on in.
189
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Okay.
Oh, okay.
190
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Watch where you're going.
If you --
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Easy. Watch the wall.
192
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Please not the baby!
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Aah!
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Those were
wedding presents.
195
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That was my mother's.
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[ Dog yelps ]
197
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[ Both scream ]
198
00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:57,777
What the fuck, Ryan?
199
00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,645
I had a promo code!
200
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,347
Everyone, listen.
201
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,416
The people of St. Olaf
are in trouble,
202
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,584
and they need our help.
203
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,652
Gosh, that reminds me of a time
in St. Olaf.
204
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:10,857
Of course it does, Rose, because
it takes place in St. Olaf.
205
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,091
If we agree to help,
206
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,227
will you spare us
the long and detailed story?
207
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:18,130
Absolutely. Just don't forget
your oxygen masks.
208
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,332
Why?
Because
St. Olaf is in space.
209
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:22,935
Now, those details
we could have used.
210
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,504
♪♪
211
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,540
How are we just now
hearing this?
212
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,642
Actually, if you listen,
the seeds were planted.
213
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,245
St. Olaf had a black hole
on Main Street.
214
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,547
Everyone in town would gather
and stare at it.
215
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:37,850
In St. Olaf, the Fenderhooven
rocket sure was a beaut.
216
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,753
My birth certificate says
I was born in St. Olaf.
217
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,889
Oh, yeah, that last one
proves nothing.
218
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:46,225
Unless I had my finger
over the "AR" in "star."
219
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,729
I'd like to have my finger
over your windpipe.
220
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:53,132
[ Laughter ]
221
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,102
We're like those
old-timer space cowgirls.
222
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,603
Although I can
tell you firsthand,
223
00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:01,507
it isn't nearly as exciting
as reverse space cowgirl.
224
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,542
Rose,
how did we never notice
225
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,145
a Fenderhooven rocket
in the garage?
226
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,346
With a tarp over it,
227
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:10,149
everyone assumed it was
one of Blanche's dildos.
228
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,718
All my tarped dildos
are in the basement.
229
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:16,022
We should be exiting
the black hole any minute now.
230
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,593
Oh, honey,
that's low-hanging fruit.
231
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,229
Ma,
you wandered off again.
232
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,031
You're not supposed
to get out of your seat.
233
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:26,198
Listen here,
big fella.
234
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,733
This rocket isn't the only thing
that needs
235
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,368
to release its undercarriage.
236
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,672
Somebody tell me what are those
giant pods in the back there?
237
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,940
Giant pods?
238
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,310
Oh, yeah. I assumed Blanche
was harvesting her eggs.
239
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:40,947
You see? I thought this ship
had a case of hemorrhoids.
240
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:44,784
♪♪
241
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,652
Wish I could say
this was a first.
242
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:49,755
Rose, what did you say
the problem was
243
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:52,758
on St. -- sorry,
Star Olaf?
244
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,695
Oh, they're being colonized
by an alien species
245
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,364
that is incubating their babies
inside humans.
246
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,365
[ All scream ]
247
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,866
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
248
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:06,539
Rose, enough about Earth.
Just tell us what happened!
249
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,774
Well, as you know,
Dorothy took down
250
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:11,143
the mother alien
all by herself.
251
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:14,647
Blanche volunteered to be
impregnated with all the eggs,
252
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,450
saving our people
from being hosts.
253
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:20,753
And Sophia I met a robot
named Bob in the black hole,
254
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,455
whom she wound up
marrying.
255
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:25,992
Say, whatever happened
to the studio audience?
256
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,494
Oh, they got sucked into
the black hole
257
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,762
and died.
258
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:30,830
[ Laughter ]
259
00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,431
Triumphant laughter.
Credits.
260
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,532
Chicken:
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
261
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:34,767
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
262
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,702
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
263
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:37,770
Chickens:
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,005
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
265
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,940
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,141
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
267
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,376
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
268
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,177
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,612
Chicken:
Ba-gawk!
270
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,980
Man: Bawk.