1
00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:11,211
♪♪
2
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:12,712
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:16,549
♪♪
4
00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:17,817
[ Clicks ]
5
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:23,590
♪♪
6
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:25,658
Man: It's alive!
7
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:33,500
♪♪
8
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,168
[ Laughter ]
9
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:39,939
♪♪
10
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:41,708
[ Laughter ]
11
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:44,444
Yoshi: You know the thing
about living
12
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,112
on a tropical island
paradise?
13
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,515
You get so distracted
looking at all the beauty,
14
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,583
you forget to look out
for yourself.
15
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,619
Wait! Mario!
What about me?!
16
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,954
But now I see clearly.
17
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,257
I don't know what-a you did
to piss-a this guy off,
18
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,592
but-a now he's-a comin' after
a-both of us!
19
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:02,095
Hey, what's-a one-a little
dinosaur-a gonna do, eh?
20
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,431
[ Yoshi laughing ]
21
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,565
Hunh!
[ Laughs ]
22
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,233
Aah!
Yah!
23
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,268
Aah!
24
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,436
Ah!
25
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,304
[ Squelch ]
26
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,373
Now we're fuckin'
a-dead, bro!
27
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,842
Let's-a go,
mother-a-fucker.
28
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,145
Maybe we can make
a deal-a, huh?
29
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,814
Yoshi: Die, bitch!
Aah!
30
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,882
You are gonna pay-a
for that-a.
31
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,951
Fireball! Fireball!
[ Laughing ]
32
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,886
Ha! Fireball toss!
33
00:01:26,953 --> 00:01:28,221
Yoshi, no!
34
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,390
I've known you
since I was a baby.
35
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,724
You were a piece of shit
then...
36
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,960
[Italian accent] ...and you are
a bigger piece of shit now.
37
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,228
Fuck right off!
38
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,063
Aah!
[ Splat ]
39
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,132
Time to welcome the world
to a new Yoshi.
40
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:40,500
A new me.
41
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,702
Yoshi's Island!
42
00:01:43,735 --> 00:01:46,039
After you got off the island,
Chuck Noland received
43
00:01:46,104 --> 00:01:47,707
millions from FedEx.
44
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,776
You're asking for half,
correct?
45
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,777
I just want
what I think is fair.
46
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,113
Ugh! I can't believe
Trevor ghosted me.
47
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,316
Even though he grew a rattail
nonironically,
48
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,984
I'll never love again!
49
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,220
You've been possessed
50
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,388
by a peen-tergeist!
51
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,656
A what?!
52
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:06,960
Hi, I'm Tangina Barrons,
poltergeist expert.
53
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:09,728
Your lady bits
have been taken hostage
54
00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:12,098
by the spirit
of his whiz tube.
55
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:15,301
Your need to perform
a vag-orcism!
56
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,237
Yes! Yes!
57
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,239
[ Screaming ]
58
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,741
Keep on towards
the light!
59
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,510
[ Screaming ]
60
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,713
[ Gasps ] I don't need
to pretend to like
61
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,715
Lars von Trier films
anymore.
62
00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:30,716
[ Placid music plays ]
This cooch is clean.
63
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,385
But where did he go?
64
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,754
Into my cooch!
65
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,156
[ Music stops ]
66
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,292
What do you mean,
you don't tip?
67
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,627
I mean, I don't tip.
68
00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:41,793
Boop.
Whoa!
69
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:43,296
Ah! [ Laughs ]
70
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,798
Yeah, technically you tip --
you just don't fall over.
71
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:51,337
Ladies, can't we all find
a way to get along?
72
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,839
You gave me chlamydia!
73
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,307
-Me too.
-And me!
-Twice.
74
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,976
Also, bacteria from
the chlamydia then moved up
75
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,646
to my cervix
and gave me PID!
76
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:02,248
Pelvic inflammatory
disease!
77
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:05,485
That's what happens
when the clam
is left untreated.
78
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,655
Ladies, what do you say
we make this a team round?
79
00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:11,024
I'd never turn down
three women at once --
80
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,693
[ Gunshots ]
Oww!
[Shouting indistinctly ]
81
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,695
[ Gunshots continue ]
82
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:22,869
♪♪
83
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,572
Come on, girls.
He is not worth it.
84
00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:27,907
Let's go pick up
our prescription.
85
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:30,243
Bond:
Oho, James, you dog!
86
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,946
Wait.
That means I have chlamydia.
87
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,350
[ Motor whirring ]
88
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,254
[ Chittering ]
89
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,122
[ Screeches ]
90
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:46,392
My date said he'd be here
20 minutes ago.
91
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:48,061
Ack!
Ack, ack.
92
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:50,296
Did you get
stood up, too?
93
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:51,297
Ack!
94
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,632
Ack, ack! Ack, ack.
95
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,801
I'd love to eat with you.
96
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:55,935
Ack!
97
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,236
Ack! Ack!
Ack ack ack!
98
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:58,571
Yes! Ack!
99
00:03:58,638 --> 00:03:59,906
Yes! Ack!
Ack ack aaack!
100
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,542
Do you take this woman
to be your wife?
101
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:03,710
Ack!
102
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,478
I'll, uh, take that
as an "I do."
103
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,814
[ Objects clattering ]
Oh, my God!
104
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,116
Ack ack ack!
Ack ack ack ack!
105
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,284
Ack ack ack!
106
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:13,620
You have to return
to your home planet?
107
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,688
But we're married!
Ack!
108
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,790
Save me!
Aah!
109
00:04:17,856 --> 00:04:18,791
Ack ack ack!
110
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,660
[ Gunshots, screams ]
111
00:04:20,726 --> 00:04:24,163
Aaa-aa-aa-ck!
112
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,166
[ Sobbing ]
113
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:32,105
Cake is the only man
that will never leave me.
114
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:34,273
Ohh ahhh mmph!
[ Sobs ]
115
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:35,742
Oh, no. Oh, God.
116
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:37,777
[ Retching ]
117
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:40,980
♪♪
118
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,682
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
119
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,987
[ Video game music plays ]
120
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:51,157
♪♪
121
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,027
Narrator: This week on
"My Strange Addiction,"
122
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,195
meet Elefun the elephant.
123
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:59,065
Yeah, baby!
That's the stuff!
124
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,401
What started out
as a party trick
125
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,236
turned into
a butterfly habit
126
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:05,238
that Elefun couldn't kick.
127
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:07,340
Let's fuckin' rave!
128
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,208
Oh! Oh!
129
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:11,044
[ Laughing ]
130
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,545
[ Inhaling deeply ]
131
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,213
[ Echoing voices, laughter ]
132
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,214
Ohhh!
133
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,617
-[Distant] Elefun. Elefun!
-Whoa!
134
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,018
Elefun, it's late.
135
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,554
We have to go home.
You're leaving me?!
136
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:22,889
Try some of this shit!
137
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,223
I don't want it!
Try it! Come on!
138
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,391
I don't want!
[ Laughing ]
139
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:27,060
It's trippy, right?
I don't want it!
140
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:28,161
[ Laughing ]
[ Groans ]
141
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:29,162
Kid?
142
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,997
[ Screaming ] Kid!
143
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,398
Next week...
144
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,400
this family
of codependent hippos
145
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:37,603
enable a bizarre compulsion.
146
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,039
Woman: Oh, my life
is almost spent,
147
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:42,375
and I had so much more to do.
148
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,376
[ Cat meows ]
149
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,377
[ Objects clatter, cat yowls ]
150
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,913
And I'm back,
bitches!
151
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,915
Boom!
Crushed that candy!
152
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,918
Aw, but I need a lollipop hammer
to finish the level.
153
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:54,053
[ Poof ]
Why not make
an in-app purchase?
154
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,089
It's only $1.99.
155
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:59,459
I promised myself I wouldn't
spend any money on this game.
156
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,128
It's a one-time thing,
Beth.
157
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,463
[ Ka-ching! ]
158
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,198
[ Video game music plays ]
159
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,866
Beth, I'm home --
Oh, my God!
160
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,501
I need extra gold bars!
161
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,002
And I need
an extra life!
162
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,137
Beth, you spent --
163
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,240
you spent $1,500
on Candy Crush?!
Aah! Yah!
164
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,008
We have a mortgage!
165
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,410
She's mine now.
166
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:20,079
[ Laughing evilly ]
167
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,014
Spider-walk time!
168
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:24,183
The power of Christ
compels you.
169
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,685
[ Distorted ]
You're one to talk.
170
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,854
You spent all of the church's
collection last month
171
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,655
on Pokémon Go supplies.
172
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,224
You have to
catch 'em all, right?
173
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:32,558
You don't understand,
demon --
174
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:34,293
was buy one,
get one free.
175
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,129
It was BOGO
on the POGO.
176
00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:37,797
I had serious FOMO!
177
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,832
[ Laughing ]
You're mind now, priesty!
178
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,501
Open your mouth!
179
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,337
Not today,
vile demon!
180
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,172
Selfless sacrifice!
[ Glass shatters ]
181
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,741
Splat!
182
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,409
You did it!
Oh, God, it's over!
183
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:54,280
[ Sobbing ]
It's over!
My, God, it's over.
184
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,916
Anyone wanna play
Clash of Clans?
185
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,084
I do.
186
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,486
Mr. Manson,
you would have me believe
187
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:04,090
that you did not commit
the Tate-LaBianca murders.
188
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,960
I'm telling you, man,
it was not me.
189
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:14,767
I, Ponce de Léon, have finally
found the Fountain of Youth.
190
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,336
[ Babies cooing, laughing ]
191
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,672
Men, only a single
Allied pilot
192
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,141
has survived an encounter
with the Red Baron.
193
00:07:22,207 --> 00:07:24,610
Meet America's
World War I Flying Ace --
194
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,612
Did you say "one"?
...Captain Snoopy!
195
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:27,780
Blah!
196
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,249
[ Speaking gibberish ]
197
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:31,584
Sir, that's, uh...
198
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,885
Yeah, that's a dog.
199
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,555
That is the World War I
Flying Ace, dumb shit!
200
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,090
And you will heed every single
word out of his mouth!
201
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,259
[ Gibberish ]
202
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:41,928
These are your
new aircraft.
203
00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:44,363
No idea how they work,
but we've seen the Ace fly one,
204
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,532
and they only cost
about $3 in scrap wood!
205
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:47,533
Hoo-yah!
Sir!
206
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,135
These are
doghouses, sir!
207
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,170
They're aircraft,
soldier!
208
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:53,239
Now mount up!
209
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,473
Oh-ah!
210
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,875
This shit doesn't
make any sense.
Ow.
211
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:58,444
Uh, sir?
Where are the controls?
212
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,880
Did you have to ask your mama
where your dick was
213
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,715
when you wanted
to piss, sailor?!
214
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,717
[ Gibberish ]
[ Engine rumbling ]
215
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,219
-There's no way that's gonna...
-Um, uh...
216
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,720
-Oh, shit.
-Ah, that worked.
217
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,690
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
218
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,159
Oh, my God,
they work!
219
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,760
We're flying!
220
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,363
But the peak is really
riding up into my crack.
221
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,666
Aah! They also should have
included seat belts!
222
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,835
Whoa! Hey!
223
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,837
I'm cool with these things
not having wings,
224
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,873
but I'd feel better
if we had windshields.
225
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:29,375
Ah, what the f--
Ah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
226
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,776
Aaaaah!
227
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,548
That son of a bitch
is actually doing it!
228
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,082
We're gonna need
more Marines!
229
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:38,584
And maybe some seat belts.
230
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,519
The Red Baron
is leading a squadron
231
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,020
toward Allied
territory.
232
00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:44,490
Now get up there
and show 'em what we got!
233
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,192
-To the sky!
-Let's fly these doghouses!
234
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,098
Bwah!
Sir, yes, sir!
235
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,700
Whatever the fuck
he just said.
236
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,003
[ Cats yowling ]
237
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:58,471
Are those cats?!
238
00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:00,673
How did they train cats
to fly airplanes?
239
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,174
War is hell!
240
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,210
[ Airplane approaches,
Red Baron laughs ]
241
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,379
Guten morgen,
Herr Snoopy!
242
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:08,247
Dogfights are overrated,
so I thought,
243
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,249
why not switch
to a catfight?
244
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,717
[ Laughs ]
Aah!
245
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,320
[ Cat yowling ]
246
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,821
Aw, yeah.
247
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,523
Keep that pussy
right there.
248
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,824
[ Meows ]
249
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:19,859
[ Screeches ]
250
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,727
Aah, aah!
It's in my mouth!
251
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:23,462
[ Sputtering ]
Aah!
252
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,065
Whoo!
[ Clicking tongue ]
253
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,467
Can I interest you
in a cucumber?
254
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,137
[ Yowling ]
255
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,641
Ha-ha!
I've got you now.
256
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,010
Uh...
No one told us how to shoot!
257
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:41,547
[ Gunfire, cat screeching ]
258
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,915
I'm hit!
259
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,953
The laser pointer won't be
invented for another 60 years,
260
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,587
so this will have to do.
261
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,390
[ Yowling ]
262
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,126
Stupid cats!
263
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:57,463
♪♪
264
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,998
[ Purring ]
265
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:01,767
[ Explosion ]
266
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:02,835
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
[ Gunfire ]
267
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,037
Looks like it's time
for a catnap.
268
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,173
[ Snoopy laughs ]
269
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,674
[ Gibberish ]
270
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:11,610
♪♪
271
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:12,611
[ Gunfire ]
272
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,147
♪♪
273
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,149
[ Gunfire ]
274
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:18,551
Bwah!
275
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:21,988
Auf weidersehen,
dummer hund.
276
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:24,590
[ Gunfire ]
277
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,425
[ Slurps ]
Ugh! Aah!
278
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,561
Doctor!
Get the hot water!
279
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:29,895
Get the disinfectant!
280
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,731
[ Gunfire ]
Get the iodine!
281
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,232
Aah!
282
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,767
Aaaaaaah!
283
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,304
[ Upbeat music plays ]
284
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:41,007
♪♪
285
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:55,721
♪♪
286
00:10:55,788 --> 00:11:04,163
♪♪