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00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,004
[ Theme music playing ]
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Man:
It's alive!
6
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[ Robot chicken clucking ]
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♪♪
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Huhnmorder:
[ Laughing evilly ]
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♪♪
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
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♪♪
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You know, I you like
you're fat-shaming me.
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Ball pit!
Whoo!
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Help!
Aah!
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[ Bagpipes playing ]
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♪♪
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Aha!
Mojo Jojo is in jail now
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but will break out to fight
the Powerpuff Girls again
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for you to put in jail again --
No. Wait.
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Is that Mojo Jojo's life?
Oh, my God.
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Mojo Jojo needs to sit down
for a minute.
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Shut up, monkey!
It's not our problem!
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But maybe if Townsville
funneled more resources
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into rehabilitative justice,
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he'd grow from a villain
into a civilian.
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All Mojo Jojo wants in life
is a stable home and career,
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maybe start a pottery shop
in Santa Fe.
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You know, one where all they
sell are turquoise necklaces.
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But Mojo Jojo has
no other choice now.
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God damn it!
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The punitive justice system
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never gave him the chance
to grow!
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How did we become part
of such a terrible cycle?
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[ Gasps ]
The mayor.
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Girls!
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Fuzzy Lumpkins is plotting
to poison the Townsville River!
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You mean the destitute
banjo player
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forced to live in the forest due
to your city gentrification?!
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Angry-face punch!
Ha!
Ow!
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Maybe if you cared about more
than just the Townsville 1%,
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Fuzzy could contribute
to society!
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Ooh! Girls!
I'm a good guy!
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Oh, Mayor.
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You're not a good guy.
You're a bootlicker.
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Narrator:
And so Townsville is saved
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from its greatest villain yet,
The Man!
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Okay.
It's pure adrenaline, Vincent.
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You stab it
right into her heart.
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One, two, three.
Syringe!
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[ Birds chirping ]
Oh, yeah.
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I guess feet don't have hearts.
Sorry, buddy.
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[ Sobs ]
She was just...so sexy.
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[ Surf-rock guitar plays ]
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So what's the dealie
with MJ?
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You're difficult to track down,
Spider-Man.
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Aah! Nick Fury?
Why did you tranquilize Ned?
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It was gonna be
a kick-ass reveal for me.
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Look.
Maybe he's okay.
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Oh, Mr. Fury,
those are his brains!
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It's okay!
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I've read that humans use
like 10% of their brains.
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Maybe this is the --
Shit.
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Maybe this is the part
he doesn't use.
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Lights out, boys.
Aah!
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[ Gunshot ]
Aah!
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Oh, so many brains!
[ Gasps ]
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MJ, no!
Mr. Fury!
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Aw, Mr. Fury!
That wasn't me!
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See, this coffee table
shouldn't -- Okay.
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Uh...motherfucker!
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Mm.
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Suspenseful music plays ]
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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Get over here!
[ Grunts ]
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I don't know
if you noticed,
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but, uh, when I was
digging around in there,
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I think I saw something.
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Something?
What, like a lump?
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Saying you saw something
is, like,
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some heavy shit
to drop on someone, man.
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Let me take another look!
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You might want to bite down
on something.
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[ Grunts ]
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I'm not really seeing
anything.
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Maybe the light
might have hit it weird.
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Are you kidding?
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I'm looking for
a real answer, bro.
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Okay, okay.
Uh, let me dig a little deeper.
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[ Grunts ]
Slam!
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Oh! Ah!
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Looks like the tip
of my spear
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got tangled around your spine
all weird
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and made a funky shadow.
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Uh, looks like the coast
is clear, buddy!
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Finish him!
Really?
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Come on. Finish him.
Mm.
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Okay.
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Fatality!
Scorpion wins.
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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[ Grunts ]
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Did hit me
with your butt?
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[ Voice distorted ]
Ow!
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[ Normal voice ]
Ow! My teeth!
Hi. I'm Nightwing.
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Have you ever wished for a
delicious-looking superhero butt
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like mine?
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Make that wish come true
with Nightbutt.
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It's the first all-in-one
butt exerciser
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that's sure to sculpt, tone,
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and train your glutes
to take out brutes.
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You'll learn moves like...
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Ow!
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And, of course...
[ Farts ]
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So tight!
115
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So get your rear in gear
and get the Nightbutt!
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Tell 'em Dick sent ya.
Nightbutt.
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[ Mid-tempo music plays,
bell chimes ]
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Can you read the top line?
I tawt I taw a puddy tat!
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No.
That's an "H."
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I'm wegally bwind.
121
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...and after I returned
the last Infinity Stone,
122
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I came here to the past
to spend my life with you.
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I don't know what that will do
to the timeline,
124
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so I got to be careful.
125
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As long as we're together,
it doesn't matter.
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[ Grunts ]
Boy.
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Okay.
128
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I changed the oil,
mowed the lawn,
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and repaired
the garage door.
130
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Oh, I w-would have helped out.
But you know that timeline.
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[ Burps ]
Oh, my God.
132
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Did you pee in these?
Yeah.
133
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Couldn't risk the timeline
by walking to the bathroom.
134
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Then how did you get
those snacks?
135
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I bounce this fine-china serving
tray off several walls
136
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into the kitchen
as if it's my shield.
137
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It collects all my snacks,
bounces back to my hand.
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Watch.
[ Glass breaking ]
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It works
when you're not here.
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
Steve! You're back!
141
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And I brought you something,
Sam.
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Your shield!
143
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I sold my shield for snacks,
but this works just as well.
144
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And it's yours now, Sam.
145
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Gee. Thanks!
146
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A fine-china
serving tray
147
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that looks hastily
glued together.
148
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:56,322
You know what a guy forgets
about 1945, Sam?
149
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The snacks.
They're terrible.
150
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:01,127
Hey, do we still have
that vending machine in HQ?
151
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,196
We do.
It actually survived --
Oh, great!
152
00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:05,031
I'm gonna get
some Sour Patch Kids.
153
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,599
You want anything?
I'm good.
154
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Fantastic.
Now watch this drive.
155
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[ Birds chirping,
glass breaking ]
156
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Are you okay?
157
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I made a terrible mistake,
Sam.
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
159
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Holy shit!
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I found a way
to save Moo Moo Farm!
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They're paying us 20K
just to have some go-karts
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whiz around the property
a few times!
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That's amazin'!
164
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:29,055
Should we clear the cows
and gophers from the roads?
165
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Nah! How much trouble
could they cause?
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[ Up-tempo music plays,
engines revving ]
167
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Aah!
Oh, my God!
168
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Oh, my Lord!
169
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[ Video game beeping,
gophers chirping ]
170
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Oh, no!
The gophers!
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[ Engines revving,
alarm blaring ]
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My house!
173
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My crops!
174
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I'm-a gonna win!
175
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Come on!
Time for-a Koopa Troopa Beach!
176
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It's gone!
It's all gone!
177
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:53,646
Maybe not! Look!
178
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,581
They left
one of those rainbow boxes.
179
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,550
Maybe something inside
can help us.
180
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,786
Nellie, no! That question mark
is upside down!
181
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,721
Oh, God!
Nellie!
182
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,756
Young man:
Hey, at least her head's here.
Dad can work with that.
183
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,224
[ Gopher chirping ]
Oh! Nellie!
184
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,492
Oh, dear!
185
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,628
My pound has
too many cute animals.
186
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,263
They'll never be adopted.
187
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:12,265
My alligator farm
is broke.
188
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:14,734
All my alligators
are gonna starve!
189
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:18,037
Did we just solve
each other's problems?
Did we just solve
each other's problems?
190
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,039
Narrator:
And so the alligator farm
191
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,075
set aside space for the pound
to offer animal adoptions,
192
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:27,013
and the adoption fees went
toward feeding the alligators.
193
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:29,649
Wait. Did you expect they would
feed the pound animals
194
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to the alligators?
195
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:32,351
Oh. Wow.
My God.
196
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:35,154
You seem very jaded
and worn down by the world.
197
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:38,891
Try to take some time each day
to meditate.
198
00:07:38,957 --> 00:07:41,159
I hate office
Christmas parties.
199
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,529
Yeah. Why does Alice always get
so aggressive?
200
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:47,366
Dilbert, is your dick curved
like your tie,
201
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:50,203
or is your tie curved
like your dick?
202
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:53,039
Now, now.
Leave Dilbert's tie alone.
203
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:55,942
It is literally the only
interesting thing about him.
204
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:57,143
It is not!
205
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:01,747
Lazy, stupid, violent,
evil, scary, genius, necktie.
206
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,216
I see your point.
207
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:06,619
I'm Hal Bruber,
international terrorist.
[ Crowd gasps ]
208
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,688
Which one of you is the boss?
209
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,489
[ Laughs ]
The joke's on you.
210
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,326
This is a socialist collective.
211
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,162
Oh, fuck you guys.
212
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,865
I demand to know the combination
to the safe.
213
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,499
Whoa!
We have a safe?
214
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,402
Don't ask me. I don't have
any qualifications for this job.
215
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:26,072
I wouldn't even know
what to put inside a safe.
216
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,241
Nobody knows what we do
at this company.
217
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:30,009
Hey, Carol, what do we do
at this company?
218
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,444
[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Gunshot ]
219
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,645
[ Crowd gasps ]
Oh, my!
220
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,480
Someone's gonna get written up
for that.
221
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,381
[ Gunshot ]
That's not good.
222
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:37,616
[ Gunshots, crowd shouting ]
223
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,150
Alice:
Festive!
224
00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:41,087
[ Crowd screams ]
225
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,556
Let's make a break for it.
[ Glass shatters ]
226
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,058
Nah. I want to see
who gets shot next.
227
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:51,063
♪♪
228
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,932
[ Gasps ]
[ Gunshots ]
229
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,133
Asok was right.
230
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,169
This necktie is literally
all I have going for me.
231
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,138
Hello?
I need help!
232
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,407
The terrorists are going to
kill everyone.
233
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,776
Look, it's not like we get
a special cop bonus
234
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,878
if everyone survives
in there.
235
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,947
Do whatever.
236
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,582
♪♪
237
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,284
At last!
238
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:14,720
You're not a terrorist at all.
You're just a thief!
239
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,456
It's not stealing if you're
taking back what's yours!
240
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:18,791
Reveal!
241
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:21,894
Television and musical
sensation Jim Rash?
242
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,396
I'm Scott Adams,
shithead,
243
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,364
creator of the Dilbert
comic strip!
244
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:28,034
And within this box is
all the good will from readers
245
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,802
I've built up
after decades!
246
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,671
[ Gunshots ]
247
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,673
[ Dramatic music plays ]
248
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,442
What possible use could you have
for reader good will?
249
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,744
The more readers remember
enjoying my comic,
250
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,414
the more they'll tolerate me
when I say things like,
251
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,849
"White men are being erased
from this culture!"
252
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:46,419
Why would you even want to say
something like that?
253
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:47,853
Because it's true!
254
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,990
My Dilbert cartoon on UPN
was canceled because I'm white!
255
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,258
But it wasn't funny.
256
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,627
It didn't have to be funny!
I'm white!
257
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,462
That used to be
all you needed!
258
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,698
I think you'd better check
the box again.
259
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,266
What the...
[ Gun cocks ]
260
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:03,436
Huh?
Buddy, there's not enough
reader good will in the world
261
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,871
to shield you
from your own wack ass.
262
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,506
No, Dilbert!
Sneak attack!
263
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:08,207
Blam!
264
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,043
[ Screaming ]
265
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,378
[ Alarm blaring ]
266
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,448
Well, he died power-humping
an authority symbol.
267
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:18,884
Very white male way to go.
Got to respect that.
268
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:23,189
Gun-butt!
Who's boring now, asshole?
269
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:24,557
And for the record,
270
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,826
[ Zipper opens ]
...the tie is shaped like my...
271
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:27,927
Chicken:
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,161
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
273
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,097
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
274
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:32,164
Chickens:
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
275
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,399
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
276
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,334
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
277
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,535
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
278
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:37,770
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
279
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,572
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
280
00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,007
Chicken:
Ba-gawk!
281
00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,375
Man:
Bawk.
282
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,379
[ Sighs ]
283
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,681
[ Birds chirping ]