1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:06,039
♪♪
2
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:07,607
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:12,979
♪♪
4
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:18,351
♪♪
5
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,787
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:28,461
♪♪
7
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,597
[ Laughter ]
8
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:34,601
♪♪
9
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:38,304
[ Laughter ]
10
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,707
Give me all your money.
Oh, please don't hurt me!
11
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,209
Not so fast, punk.
12
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,612
Aah!
13
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:47,547
Upside down now! Aah!
14
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,216
Thanks, Spider Man!
15
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:57,824
♪♪
16
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,092
[ Thud! ]
17
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,960
[ No sound ]
18
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:04,364
Oh, hello, Kendra, I see you
posting that thirst trap.
19
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,698
I mean,
a girl's gotta 'gram.
20
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,267
I bet you're going to have
a bunch of hunks
21
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,735
sliding into your DMs.
22
00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:10,603
Man: Did someone say "DM"?
[ Cellphone chimes ]
23
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,238
"Ooh. Is this a photo
of a desert?
24
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,974
Because I can't handle
the thirst," ReplyGuy69.
25
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,544
Ugh!
No, not him again.
26
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,913
Zip-zoop!
Tis I, Reply Guy,
27
00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:22,916
responding to women's posts
faster than the speediest Wi-Fi.
28
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:26,286
♪ R-R-R-Reply Guy ♪
29
00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:29,255
Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas!
30
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:31,124
Fred Flintstone!
31
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,892
You're the best Santa Claus
we ever had
32
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,561
here Macyrock's
Department Store.
33
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:35,995
Here you go, kid.
34
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:38,997
Great Gazoo! Do you want
to sit on Santa's lap?
35
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:41,501
You stopped having a lap
in your 20s, fatso.
36
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,636
Don't worry.
That joke's still cool.
37
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:45,672
This episode aired in 1964.
38
00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:49,275
[ Laughs ]
Very funny, wise guy.
Now scram.
39
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,977
I'm spreading
Christmas spirit.
40
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,812
Fred, dum dum,
what year is it?
41
00:01:52,878 --> 00:01:56,382
This is the year
10,000 B.C.
42
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,852
Do they teach you what B.C.
stands for
43
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,053
in the School of Rock?
44
00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:02,355
Of course.
Before Christ.
45
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:05,725
So you are celebrating
a holiday named after some dude
46
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,728
who won't be born
for another 10,000 years?
47
00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:10,163
What are you getting at?
48
00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:11,965
Well, I'll just show you.
Aah!
49
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,000
Oh!
What's the big idea?
50
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,436
A bunch of cavemen
celebrating Christmas.
51
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,770
That's the big idea.
52
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:20,540
You've literally broken
the time-space continuum,
53
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,709
you fucking idiot.
54
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,879
Holy macaroni!
On Zetox,
we always knew
55
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,579
your timeline
was a danger to us,
56
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,549
but we couldn't figure
it out until you rock humpers
57
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:32,218
actually started
celebrating Christmas!
58
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:33,253
Christmas!
59
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,721
Which they did
in season five.
60
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:37,457
It's a shame when God's plan
goes wrong, ain't it, Gazoo?
61
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:41,995
Say, how come you
can see Gazoo, Mr. Macyrock?
62
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:45,932
Only me, Barney, children
and animals can see Gazoo.
63
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,167
Yes, my storyline
was insulting.
64
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,536
Because, Flintstone!
65
00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,538
I'm Satan.
[ Laughs ]
66
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,473
Holy shit, it's Lucifer,
the Lord of Hell,
67
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:57,644
Quick, dum dum, Bedrock is
doomed if you don't kill Satan!
68
00:02:57,710 --> 00:03:00,346
♪♪
69
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,015
Announcer:
Will Fred kill Satan?
70
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,684
Will Betty get that
saber-tooth fur coat
71
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,787
or did Barney lose their
Christmas money shooting craps?
72
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:12,158
Find out after these messages
for cigarettes and bourbon!
73
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:13,493
♪♪
74
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,028
[ Smooches ]
75
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,728
[ Laughs ]
76
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,631
[ Rock music playing ]
Ooh!
77
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,668
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!
78
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,939
Announcer: You screamed
when you met "Jaws."
79
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:32,378
You couldn't believe your eyes
when you saw "The Meg."
80
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:38,351
Now get ready
for the biggest shark yet.
81
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,486
That's a pretty big shark.
That one?
82
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,589
No. The one behind it.
83
00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:45,692
This summer,
stay out of the water.
84
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,527
Hell, stay off the planet.
85
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:51,197
Sharks finally got
too big.
86
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,767
"Big Fucking Shark
Fuck Fucking Shark Fuck:
87
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,970
The Legend Begins."
88
00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:59,472
♪♪
89
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:02,375
You're my number-one guy.
[ Chuckles ]
90
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,677
You looking to take in
any more strays? Woof-woof!
91
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,613
Ugh! Damn it,
Reply Guy!
92
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:11,317
♪ R-R-R-Reply Guy ♪
O-Oh, my God!
93
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,120
With my Infant-o-Ray,
94
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:18,858
I will turn all the people
of Earth into helpless infants.
95
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:22,462
Enjoy crappin' your pants,
Space Ace!
96
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,931
Oh, no! Aah!
97
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,367
Aging in reverse visibly!
98
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,435
Blast! Only nicked him.
99
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,671
Oh, man,
I'm a teenager again?
100
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,674
Wait! This means
my parents aren't divorced yet.
101
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:38,044
Maybe if I get straight A's,
my mom won't stop loving my dad.
102
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,114
Yeah, but it's, uh,
not a time machine.
103
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,384
[ Both grunting ]
104
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,587
Wait, stop, uh, you're, um,
you're spotting.
105
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,856
Yes, I'm Cheetah.
I have spots.
106
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,158
No, you're --
you're spotting.
107
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,693
Oh, shoot. Not today.
108
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,061
Hey, don't worry.
109
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,230
You know, I always carry
a spare tampon. Here.
110
00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:59,332
Oh, thank you,
Wonder Woman.
111
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,402
Girl code trumps arch
rivalry every time.
112
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,170
I've been thinking
about trying that Diva Cup.
113
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,305
Way better at handling
a super flow.
114
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,374
Ugh!
Fuck off, Flash!
115
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:09,742
I will.
116
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:13,513
♪♪
117
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:14,681
I knew it!
118
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:17,417
"Teen Wolf" did come out
in 1985.
119
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,619
♪♪
120
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,587
Turns out you're actually
size eight.
121
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,423
Not that big after all.
122
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:27,660
Who am Bigfoot now?
[ Sobbing ]
123
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,829
Man: Oh, yeah.
[ Laughs ]
124
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,665
Looks like someone's
having a naughty dream.
125
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,967
Hate to kill the mood!
126
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,771
What the hell, man?
127
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,206
Oh, uh,
128
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,607
I, um...
129
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,142
[ German accent ]
Can we help you?
130
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:46,713
I'm sorry. I'm --
I'm here to kill Jonathan.
131
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,147
Well, he ain't here, capeesh?
132
00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:50,349
But this is his dream.
133
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,151
Yeah.
He's having a sex dream
134
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,654
about the Michelin Man
bonking Mr. Met.
135
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,024
Oh, God. R-Really?
Hey, no judgment, right?
136
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,727
Who cares?
Um, so he's not here?
137
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,295
No.
138
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:04,597
I guess I'll come back
another time.
139
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:05,898
Ja. Auf Wiedersehen.
140
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,236
Oh, it worked.
You guys are the best.
141
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,838
Hey, you got it, Jonathan.
Any time.
142
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,106
So happy to help.
143
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,508
You sure you guys don't want to,
you know, stay?
144
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,009
Not after last time.
145
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,483
Captain Planet!
146
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,317
Oh, shit!
147
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,053
[ Smooth jazz playing ]
148
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,622
Argh! You hear that,
Captain?
149
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:33,493
Aye. It be
the smooth jazz sirens.
150
00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:37,864
[ Smooth jazz playing ]
151
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:41,234
It's so painful,
but so catchy!
152
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:45,505
Resist it, me boy!
Resist the smooth jazz! Argh!
153
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:49,542
I -- I can't!
Rhythmically moving!
154
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,012
No! Stephen, me boy!
[ Hissing ]
155
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,781
Aah!
156
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,917
Argh! You want a tip?
157
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,186
Learn some Springsteen!
158
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,189
[ Dramatic music ]
159
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:11,464
♪♪
160
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:19,739
♪♪
161
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:28,047
♪♪
162
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,118
[ Camera shutter clicks,
cellphone whooshes ]
163
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,286
[ Cellphone chimes ]
164
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:34,987
"This is funny,
and I am impressed
165
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,190
that you wrote it as a woman"?
166
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:39,025
Reply Guy!
167
00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:40,593
Who ordered the me?
No!
168
00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:42,361
Knock, knock!
Who's there? It's me!
169
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:44,630
I think I might got glass
lodged in my scrotum.
170
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:47,400
♪ R-R-R-Reply Guy ♪
171
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:51,637
Blocked?! No!
I'll see you on Twitter!
172
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:53,773
You're watching E!'s
red carpet coverage
173
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,742
where the biggest stars
of HBO are now arriving.
174
00:07:56,808 --> 00:07:57,977
There's one now.
175
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,879
It's Millennial Girl Toilet.
176
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,714
Hi.
177
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,482
Wow.
Tonight you're nominated
178
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,685
for "I May Destroy You"
and "Love Life."
179
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:08,154
I haven't seen either and know
nothing else about you.
180
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,289
Yes.
So many thrilling scenes
181
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:13,025
where lead actresses pee
into me with the door open.
182
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:16,429
And your big break came
from appearing on "Girls"?
183
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:19,632
Hmm. Lena Dunham
actually mentored me
184
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,835
as another young white woman
who's taken a ton of shit.
185
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,704
Which HBO role has been
your fave?
186
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:25,905
"Euphoria."
187
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:29,375
Teens would throw up into me,
dump pills into me
188
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,744
and get their boxes
munched on top of me.
189
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,011
Wow. Such range.
190
00:08:33,078 --> 00:08:34,947
Anything coming up?
Yes.
191
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,884
Half the new season of "Barry"
takes place in a men's room.
192
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,519
Weird pivot,
but Henry Winkler's a doll.
193
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,221
Congrats, girl.
194
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,990
Oh, look, it's the outhouse
from "Westworld."
195
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:45,992
Whose scat are you wearing
tonight?
196
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:49,061
Groggy wake from sleep.
What the?
197
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,898
I don't remember anything
before waking up this morning.
198
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:54,133
Where am I. Who am I?
199
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,837
Maybe these tattoos are a clue.
200
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,273
Harold,
this is Rudy Tabuti.
201
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:01,507
He loves to draw with chalk
202
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,609
as much as you love
your purple crayon.
203
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,145
You'll probably have
a lot to talk about
204
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,281
or you'll continue
to be eerily quiet.
205
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,615
We have to get you tested.
206
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,818
Why don't you two kids
go play?
207
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,654
Wow.
A magic crayon.
208
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,690
That's cool,
but I'll do you one better.
209
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:19,592
Come on!
210
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,928
Wanna go meet my friends?
211
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:23,362
Zoom-zoom!
212
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:26,065
[ Coughing ]
Things move fast
in the Chalk Zone.
213
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:30,169
♪♪
214
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,938
[ Coughing ] Hey!
215
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,139
I guess I'll wing it.
216
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:41,847
♪♪
217
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,450
This is my world, kid!
You don't even stand a chance.
218
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,086
Chalk was around long before
your dumb little crayon.
219
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,455
♪♪
220
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,858
[ Both grunting ]
221
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:59,532
♪♪
222
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:06,172
♪♪
223
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:09,275
[ Roaring ]
224
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:16,983
♪♪
225
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,451
[ Gunshots firing ]
226
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:23,255
♪♪
227
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:26,258
You think you won,
but you didn't.
228
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,593
[ Laughs ]
229
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:33,766
♪♪
230
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,534
Millie: It was great
to see you, Caroline.
231
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:36,769
We'll have to do
this more often.
232
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,338
Hurry up, Rudy,
stop slouching.
233
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,339
[ Door closes ]
234
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:41,374
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
235
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,708
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
236
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,710
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
237
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:45,878
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
238
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:47,213
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
239
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:49,048
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
240
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,049
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
241
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,283
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
242
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:53,185
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
243
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,221
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
244
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,458
Stoopid Monkey.