1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:06,206
[ Theme music plays ]

2
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[ Laughs ]

3
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♪♪

4
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♪♪

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Man: It's alive!

6
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♪♪

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[ Laughs ]

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♪♪

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[ Laughs ]

10
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[ Grunting ]
Congratulations.

11
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:44,778
You're the very first human
to make it to heaven.

12
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[ Noisemakers blow ]
[ Grunting ]

13
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,581
I'm so excited
that you're here.

14
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These are for you.
I made it myself. This, too.

15
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,585
It's all pretty
self-explanatory.

16
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Um, okay,
enjoy eternal paradise.

17
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[ Grunting ]
Uh, let me get that
started for you.

18
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[ Screaming ]

19
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:04,129
Ah, people are
going to love this.

20
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:07,300
Ah, it looks so calm
and blue from up here, don't it?

21
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But the ocean's
the deadliest place on Earth.

22
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[ Gun clicks ]
[ Grunts ]

23
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[ Screaming ]

24
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[ Gun clicks ]
Aah!

25
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[ Gun cocks ]

26
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[ Guns cock ]

27
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[ Growls ]

28
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[ Roars ]

29
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[ Chattering ]

30
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[ Growls ]

31
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[ Gun cocks ]

32
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[ Grunts ]
I bet this fish

33
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,192
has seen some shit.

34
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:09,461
We, the Sons of Anarchy,
need new blood.

35
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,364
Our brothers
keep getting shot,

36
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,700
run over, or infected
with gonorrhea.

37
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:16,970
I got three new prospects,
but they're kind of weird.

38
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:18,371
[ Engines rev ]

39
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,273
Biker Mice from Mars?

40
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,942
Originally from Mars,
then Chicago for a bit,

41
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then an unsuccessful reboot
back on Mars again.

42
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Careful, Jax, we don't
want to let in a rat.

43
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Rat?
My mama didn't raise no rat.

44
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:35,454
Hey, relax. To survive
all the organized crime

45
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:36,823
that, for some reason,
is centered

46
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in this one small town
in California, we need numbers.

47
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Let's see if they work out.

48
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,997
Oh, they definitely work out.
Look at those abs.

49
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:47,033
That mouse has never touched
a piece of cheese in his life.

50
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,504
All in favor
of the new recruits?

51
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,239
-Aye.
-Yes to the weirdos.

52
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,244
Here we come,
and we got lasers.

53
00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,646
[ Chuckles ]

54
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:03,049
♪ Open road ridin'
laser pirate ♪

55
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,350
[ Cat meows ]

56
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:06,185
You watch out
for that kitty cat there.

57
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,755
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
-Oh, God!

58
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:13,259
And that, boys,
is why we wear helmets.

59
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,295
[ Beeping ]

60
00:03:33,579 --> 00:03:35,949
[ Buzzer ]

61
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:38,216
[ Snarling ]

62
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,353
Wow, I really used to sound
like that.

63
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Luckily, I found Al Kaplan's
alien-accent reduction course

64
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Who here feels
they've been judged

65
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because of the way
they speak?
[ Growls ]

66
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,131
Over the next four weeks,
my vocal command course

67
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,367
will transform
your weird alien sounds

68
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:55,768
into perfect English.

69
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,537
[ Growls ]

70
00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:01,441
E.T. phone home.

71
00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:02,742
First-person singular.

72
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,678
I phone home.

73
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,447
Nicely done.

74
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:10,116
Before Al,
I was unemployed,

75
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,517
living in a swamp.

76
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,486
Virtually no love life.

77
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:16,221
Hurt did it
went from heaven you fell?

78
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,490
Hmm? [ Gasps ]

79
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:20,393
Since mastering my speech,
I started a business,

80
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bought a better swamp,
and got engaged.

81
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,431
Remember,
change your speech...

82
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:28,167
All: Change your life.

83
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:30,670
Thanks, Al.

84
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,741
I'm not sure
which birth control to use.

85
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:35,808
What's the pill like?

86
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,777
Why don't I
let it tell you?

87
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,412
♪ Well, I'm a pill ♪

88
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♪ An important little pill ♪

89
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♪ I keep your body
free from babies ♪

90
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♪ When your dude
can't hold his splooge spill ♪

91
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♪ When the sperms
enter the uterus ♪

92
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♪ I karate-chop them
to bits ♪

93
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♪ 'Cause I make
your cervical lining ♪

94
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,664
♪ And its mucus
a midlevel thick ♪

95
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Wow, it sounds like the pill
is the way to go.

96
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,868
IUD:
I beg to disagree.

97
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,170
♪ I'm an IUD ♪

98
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♪ I got 99% efficacy ♪

99
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♪ And once
inserting me down ♪

100
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,944
Back off,
you uterus usurper.

101
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,279
This is my turf.

102
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,714
You want to go?

103
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:15,882
[ Indistinct shouting ]

104
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,784
I think I'll just stick
with abstinence.

105
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,688
Yeah, well, you didn't seem
that cool anyway, so...

106
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:24,724
I need to give this
to the one man I can trust.

107
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,225
I thought long and hard
about this,

108
00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:29,495
and it's you,
Batman.

109
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,469
[ Applause ]

110
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,504
[ Krypto barks ]

111
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:43,576
[ Monitor beeping ]

112
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,381
[ Flatline ]

113
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,916
Batman. Batman.

114
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Huh? What? What?

115
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Fine. I'll entrust
this kryptonite ring

116
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,122
to somebody else to defeat me
if I ever go insane.

117
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,724
I really thought
you'd give a damn.

118
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Don't look at me cry.
Up, up, and away.

119
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No! Wait!
No, wait!

120
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,929
I-I -- I d-- I do.

121
00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:04,831
I do, Superman.

122
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,436
Meep, meep!

123
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,275
Meep! Meep!

124
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:17,677
Meep! Meep!

125
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,150
[ Screech ]

126
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,520
[ Screech ]

127
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,288
Meep! Meep!

128
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:30,790
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!

129
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,291
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!

130
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:33,793
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!

131
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,294
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!

132
00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:37,530
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep!

133
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:39,565
[ Laughing maniacally ]

134
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:44,003
You cannot stop me,
Earthworm Jim, for I am you.

135
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,939
We are indeed
evenly matched, Evil Jim.

136
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:50,710
I cannot defeat you,
but do you know what can?

137
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,781
Ha-ha!
Two earthworm Jims,

138
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:57,850
Did you think getting cut
in half would make two of you?

139
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,086
That's a myth.
-Wait, seriously?

140
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,521
Aw, man.

141
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,223
Ow.
[ Laughs ]

142
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,892
Stupid.
[ Laughs ]

143
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,493
I ain't fighting nobody.

144
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,529
I ain't got no head!

145
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,563
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop, whoop.

146
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,832
That makes zero sense.

147
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,600
I'm so glad
we're all able to attend

148
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,036
this book-club retreat
in the woods.

149
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,404
For this month's book,
I thought,

150
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,541
"Why not pick something related
to our surroundings?"

151
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:24,544
I found this in the attic.

152
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,313
[ Chomping ]
[ Screaming ]

153
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,581
Well,
that was fun.

154
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,683
Next month, we're reading
"Eat, Pray, Love."

155
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,151
[ Screams ]

156
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,720
So, what brings you
into the podiatrist today?

157
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,123
-This has been happening.
-You think that's weird?

158
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,957
Oh, ah!
Look, it went back.

159
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,993
Oh, my God!
Your thumb!

160
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,995
Announcer:
And now back to Wishbone.

161
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,630
Thanks for coming over,
Shelby.

162
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,699
Looks like Joe
has his first crush.

163
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,801
Reminds me of one
of my favorite books,

164
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,703
which is why
it's this week's story,

165
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"Fifty Shades of Grey."

166
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,575
This is Christian Grey.

167
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,010
He likes to hurt people
he's attracted to.

168
00:07:58,077 --> 00:08:00,313
You're a very bad dog.
[ Moans ]

169
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,448
And this works for me, too,
for some reason,

170
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,183
probably because
my mom was a bitch.

171
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,985
Humiliate me, master.

172
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,788
Let's do it on the furniture
human-style.

173
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,723
Oh, God,
that's against the rules.

174
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,092
And then I want you
to sniff my butthole.

175
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,894
[ Howls, barks ]

176
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,864
Mm, like someone brought
lipstick to the party.

177
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,699
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I don't hate that.

178
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:22,235
[ Howls ]
Why does your dog
have a boner?

179
00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:23,336
Let him live.

180
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:25,371
[ Beeping ]

181
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,479
[ Sighs ]
Nice going, Diana.

182
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,748
You just had to take
the invisible jet.

183
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,120
We're going to need
a bigger boat.

184
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,923
Oh, you are?
Why, because I'm so fat?

185
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,558
That is not what I meant.

186
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,561
That is absolu--
I'm shark progressive, okay?

187
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,396
Oh, I know
what you meant.

188
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,766
Asshole.

189
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,668
Give us
your most expensive drink.

190
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,170
My best friend
is getting married.

191
00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,639
There you go.
Here's, uh, something.

192
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,774
I am terribly sorry
I was delayed,

193
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,876
but if we want to make
our dinner reservation --

194
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,811
We don't serve
her kind in here.

195
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,547
That's a weird line
in the racism sand.

196
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:11,183
C4-T3 is
my droid of honor.

197
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,351
No droids.
[ Scoffs ]

198
00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:14,353
Well does that mean
your blender has to leave?

199
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,588
Hey, everybody!

200
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,224
This guy's blender
is breaking the rules!

201
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,859
Don't bring Blendy
into this.

202
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:23,462
Either the droid leaves,
or you don't drink tonight.

203
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,398
[ Man coughs in distance ]
[ Slurps ]

204
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:27,800
Just fuck all of you.

205
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,669
Oh, my God!

206
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,505
Does this place due karaoke?

207
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,440
Ugh! If you jumbo shrimps
are done

208
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,441
sucking off
your clarinets,

209
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,945
can we do
some fucking karaoke?

210
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:43,115
♪ Ooh, light-speed lover,
always when I need you ♪

211
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:46,719
♪ A billion parsecs
couldn't keep us apart ♪

212
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:50,056
♪ Rab pimma dewa,
tawa duta you ♪

213
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:53,592
♪ A billion wuppa burr
da blat rawa apart ♪

214
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,095
Woman: You have two mouths
and four throats!

215
00:09:56,162 --> 00:10:03,436
♪ Lightspeed lover! Bugga bugga
ya ya nanna vo zaza wa! ♪

216
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:07,106
[ Speaking
native language ]

217
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,442
The bakery was out
of human penises,

218
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:13,112
so we got Gungan, Zabrak,
and Mon Calamari.

219
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,448
It's a tart.

220
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,950
Excuse me, can you take
a hologram us?

221
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,286
Gems down, bitches.

222
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,021
Can you get a higher angle?

223
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,490
-[ Grunts ]
-Ooh!

224
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,727
Ugh, I look like
such a Hutt.

225
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,097
-Priya Kellsarian?
-Yeah?

226
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,599
Did I do something wrong?
-Affirmative.

227
00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:35,868
You almost had
a bachelorette party

228
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,637
without a stripper.

229
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:41,273
Nice blaster! [ Chuckles ]
Yeah!

230
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:44,610
♪ Light-speed lover,
always when I need you ♪

231
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:48,614
♪ A billion parsecs
couldn't keep us apart ♪

232
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:52,518
♪ Lightspeed lover!
Bugga bugga ya ya ♪

233
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,788
♪♪

234
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:59,792
♪ Lightspeed lover!
Bugga bugga ya ya ♪

235
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:04,263
♪ Nanna vo zaza wa! ♪