1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:06,106
[ Theme music plays ]

2
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:07,374
[ Laughs ]

3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,746
♪♪

4
00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:18,084
♪♪

5
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,019
Man: It's alive!

6
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:28,428
♪♪

7
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[ Laughs ]

8
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♪♪

9
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,903
[ Laughs ]

10
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:42,108
[ Laughs ] Where are your red
balloons? I'm running low.

11
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,943
We're out of red balloons,
actually,

12
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,946
but we have
these balloons.

13
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:47,981
I'll make it work.

14
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[ Both grunting ]

15
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♪♪

16
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Stupid living skeletons.

17
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,555
What's even
holding you guys up?

18
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,590
My bones
are holding me up.

19
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:00,226
Bones are connected
by ligaments and tendons.

20
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,761
I guess I don't get
what you're asking.

21
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,663
Oh, listen.
This is your ulna.

22
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,232
This is your radius.
This is your humerus.

23
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,635
Therefore, if I cut away
your ulna and radius

24
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,170
from the humerus
with my sword,

25
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,505
like so...
What?! Dude!

26
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,207
...am I
even cutting through?

27
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,242
It's a containment field
that binds us together.

28
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,011
Where'd you hear that?
We all got a pamphlet

29
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:19,646
when they formed us
from the Hydra's teeth.

30
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And you read this pamphlet
with no eyes?

31
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You just blew my mind.

32
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[ Gasps ] We don't have minds!
We don't have minds!

33
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See? It's bananas
from start to finish.

34
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I'm flipping out, man.
I'm flipping the fuck out.

35
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I'm scared, man.

36
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Hold me tight.
I'm scared, too.

37
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,797
I'm just gonna leave you
to this.

38
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♪ Tattoo, tattoo ♪

39
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:41,835
My Maui demigod powers
will be unmatched

40
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once I have the sea
tattooed across my back.

41
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Uh-huh.

42
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:48,808
And now a sneak peek at

43
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,311
the gender-flipped reboot
of "Splash."

44
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Well, I'm certainly...hooked.

45
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,985
I wish the Cat in the Hat
were here.
Me too.

46
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,155
As you wish.

47
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,490
I take it back.
What?

48
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,558
I'm experimenting
with my look.

49
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,394
You look like a reply guy
with a ska band.
What's a ska band?

50
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,097
You look like a Reddit user
with a podcast.
Redditor...

51
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:12,599
You look like a guy
who watches

52
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,001
Little League games
through binoculars.
I hate sports!

53
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,569
You look like a guy
who sleeps

54
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:17,737
in the supply closet
of a GameStop.

55
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,273
You look like
Sugar Ray's tour manager.

56
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,742
I manage the shit out
of Sugar Ray.

57
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If we're gonna find the ghost
that's haunting this old

58
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,515
rock 'n' roll venue,
we need to split up.

59
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,149
Daphne and I
will go this way.

60
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And, like, Scoob
and I will go this way.

61
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Ha ha!

62
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Oh. So the ugly one's left alone
to be murder bait again.

63
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Awesome, guys.

64
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,293
Ohh!
[ Laughs evilly ]

65
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You're trespassing
in the home

66
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,098
of the
Diabolical Disc Demon.

67
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,466
Prepare to be --

68
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:47,834
Oh, fuck! Shit!

69
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,336
Let me guess.
You're a middle-aged white guy

70
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,938
posing as a phantom rock star

71
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in order to scare
some record producers

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out of their royalties.
Well, when you summarize it,

73
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,477
I sound like
a fucking dork.

74
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I'm going home to put my head
inside a box of wine.

75
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You know,
I like boxed wine.

76
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,650
Ohh!

77
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,418
Oh, yeah!
Ow! I'm taking your vagina

78
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,554
straight to the top
of the charts, baby.

79
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Should I --
Should I take the mask off?

80
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,657
No! Leave it on!

81
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,892
It stays.
Why break the mystery?

82
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,161
Velma: The Scooby gang never
caught another villain,

83
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,563
but I caught them all...

84
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,831
plus herpes
from the Miner 49er.

85
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:21,634
The Scooby gang's Yelp reviews
fell to zero stars.

86
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Revenge was mine.

87
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,671
Velma,
can I tell you a secret?

88
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:28,942
Last time we all split up,
Fred and I made out.

89
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Oh, Daphne, you're so bad.

90
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♪♪

91
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Give me the child.

92
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Let me rule over you, Sarah,

93
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,619
and you'll receive
everything a girl

94
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could want. Love me,
and I'll forever be your slave.

95
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Dude, I'm 16.
You are so canceled.

96
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,595
Canceled?! Now,

97
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,530
let's not blow this
out of proportion.

98
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,565
I mean,
we both made mistakes.

99
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,067
You,
you wished your brother away.

100
00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,436
Yeah.
I'm a moody teen.

101
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:59,172
You're an adult man
gyrating in spandex,

102
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,907
saying
you want to be my slave.

103
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,476
What's next? You gonna ask
for a picture of my feet?

104
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,678
You're so gross.
I'm an eternal being.

105
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,448
It's not sexual for me.
Look into the crystal.

106
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,950
You'll see a perfectly
reasonable explanation.

107
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,720
Oh, my God. And the magic
tricks you're always doing.

108
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:16,422
No way you learned those
to impress adult women.

109
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Wait, is that why you stopped
time? So girls like me

110
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will never turn 18?

111
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,060
Well,
now you're just twisting

112
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,630
everything
to make it seem worse.

113
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Oh, my God!

114
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,768
Just wait until
I post about this on Twitter.

115
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,536
Wait, Sarah. Come on now.
I'm begging you.

116
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,806
These goblins depend on me.
I have a career as a king.

117
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:37,143
Yeah. We haven't even
covered the power imbalance.

118
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You're a monarch,
and I'm a babysitter.

119
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,815
I remember. [ Gasps ]
I remember the words!

120
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#MeToo!

121
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,520
Ruinous response!

122
00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:50,490
Ooh!
This mattress is just right.

123
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It's not too big,
it's not too small.

124
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Get out of my store,
you freak.

125
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[ Slow music plays ]

126
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Dude. I can't believe
your dad volunteered

127
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to chaperon the dance.
Ugh!

128
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,137
I know.
So embarrassing.

129
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,406
Hi, son.
Holy shit, dude.

130
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,607
Pig Boy's here.

131
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,409
-Pig Boy's here!
-He's right there!

132
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:10,777
[ Squeals ]

133
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,445
Young man: Pig Boy!
[ Snorting ]

134
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,747
Gah!
Pig Boy is so cool.

135
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,516
Oh-ho-ho-ho!

136
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:19,786
Dude! Pig Boy's
eating your dad's pants.

137
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:22,255
Okay, now, please -- Hey,
please stop chewing.

138
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:23,690
Oh, my God!

139
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,792
Pig Boy, the most
popular boy in school,

140
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:28,928
is eating my dad's pants.
So cool!

141
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:33,099
Hey, Logan, is that your dad
being chased around by Pig Boy?

142
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,600
No, Pig Boy, stop.

143
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,536
Please, someone help me.

144
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:38,438
Uhh...yeah.

145
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,606
Wow.
You must be really cool,

146
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,508
if Pig Boy is chasing
your dad around.

147
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,911
Oh, you're crushing it,
dude!

148
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,747
Young man: Hey, is that your dad
getting eaten by Pig Boy?

149
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:52,118
Remember me as more
than just this torso.

150
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,421
Pig Boy totally ate your dad!
Awesome.

151
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,124
That makes Logan the second
most popular boy in school,

152
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,625
right behind Pig Boy.

153
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,793
That's the rule.

154
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,429
Together: [ Chanting ]
Logan! Logan! Logan!

155
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,998
[ Choking ]
Logan! Logan! Logan!

156
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:06,999
Aaahhhh!

157
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,000
Dude, bro,

158
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,802
Pig Boy's
choking on your dad.

159
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:10,970
[ Record scratching ]

160
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,972
Don't die on me, Pig Boy.

161
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,574
[ Squeals ]

162
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,842
[ Crowd cheering ]

163
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,543
Together: [ Chanting ]
Pig Boy! Pig Boy!

164
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:18,911
Oh, Pig Boy,

165
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,446
what would we do
without you?

166
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:21,748
Pig Boy! Pig Boy!

167
00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:25,485
Ah, here I go close
the time loop.

168
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,154
Into the steel.
No!

169
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,691
This is cheese.
Cheese?

170
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,127
Affirmative.
Nacho cheese.

171
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,362
-It's actually pretty good.
-Huh?

172
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,798
[ Siren chirps ]
Man: Hey, you kids!
Get out of the cheese!

173
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,335
Oh, no, it's his cheese!
Run!

174
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:48,341
Hey, if some hooded thug
comes at me, I stand my ground.

175
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,110
You step to me,
you're gonna fucking die.

176
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,517
Um, I'd like to file, like,
80 malpractice suits.

177
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:01,387
Did I drink too much
beet juice again?

178
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:05,091
No, Anna.
You're getting your period.

179
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,994
Hello.
I'm Menstrual Care Bear.

180
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,296
I thought Care Bears
brought things like cheer

181
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,731
and birthday wishes.

182
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,599
Oh, we provide
whatever children need

183
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:14,867
at any particular moment.

184
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,905
Hugs, rainbows,
feminine hygiene products.

185
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:20,706
Let's go!

186
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,875
Why does this hurt
so much?

187
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,210
Uterine cramping.

188
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,379
Of course, the 5 pounds
of Funfetti frosting you

189
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,514
just inhaled like an anteater
to distract

190
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,317
from the pain didn't help.
[ Laughs ]

191
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,986
Here, take some painkillers.
Yay.

192
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:35,721
[ Grunting ]
Whee!

193
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,989
Whoopsie!

194
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:40,726
That may have been a bit
over the recommended dosage.

195
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,796
That's supposed
to go up there?!

196
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,531
But don't leave it in
for more than eight hours.

197
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:48,467
You could get
toxic shock syndrome and die.

198
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,635
I could what?!

199
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,237
Now, you get a running start,

200
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,105
and I'll spear
your vagina.

201
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:55,741
This is how all girls do it.
Ahhh!

202
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,811
Well, this has been fun,
but don't worry.

203
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:02,114
I'll be back before
you know it -- in 28 days.

204
00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,149
Every month?

205
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,650
This is the worst!

206
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:08,988
If I don't show up,
you get to meet Natal Care Bear.

207
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,825
Putting in a tampon's way easier
than getting your GED, kid.

208
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,493
Aaaaahhh!

209
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,430
They said it couldn't be done,
but I played "The Sims"

210
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:20,032
for eight days straight, living
on nothing but Alpine frost,

211
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:23,502
Mountain Dew, and Adderall,
and I'm doing fi--ine!

212
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,304
[ Snoring ]

213
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:26,339
[ Yawns ]

214
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,174
[ Speaking foreign language ]

215
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,343
Was that Simlish?

216
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:35,313
Oh, my God. I've "Jumanji'd"
myself into "The Sims"!

217
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,482
Good morning, sleepyhead.

218
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:39,885
You're my Sim wife?

219
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,921
Oh, my God! So cool!

220
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,088
Want to WooHoo?

221
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,925
I'm sorry.
Do you mean my Woo in your Hoo?

222
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,493
Yes, please.

223
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,295
WooHoo!

224
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,963
Wow, that was amazing!

225
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,299
I didn't even have to
take my clothes off.

226
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,468
Honey,
I think I'm pregnant.

227
00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:57,336
I'm gonna be a dad?

228
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,639
I freaking love
being a Sim!

229
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,341
♪ Being a Sim
is the best kind of life ♪

230
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:05,177
♪ Just had a baby
with my super-hot wife ♪

231
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:09,548
♪ Not clear what my job is,
but it pays real good ♪

232
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,851
Check it out.
I bought a spaceship!

233
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:16,956
♪ And if I run out of money,
I just say "rosebud" ♪

234
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,958
♪ I love being a Sim ♪

235
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,028
[ Deep voice ]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪

236
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,765
Wow, another great day
of being a Sim!

237
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,533
What the...

238
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,169
Oh, God!
It's happening again!

239
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,437
He's getting bored.

240
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,805
Who's getting bored?

241
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,207
The teenage boy
who controls our universe.

242
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:39,412
Every now and then, he gets
bored, and things go bad.

243
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,380
Hey, he deleted
the bathroom.

244
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,582
He knows that without it,
we'll piss ourselves.

245
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,117
And he thinks
that's funny.

246
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,819
That sick son of a...

247
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,087
[ Sloshing ]
Aw!

248
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,790
You know,
that is kind of funny.

249
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:54,694
Does it eventually evaporate,
or do we have to clean this?

250
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,596
We have to go. Soon he'll start
dropping people in pools

251
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,465
so they drown.
To the spaceship!

252
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,269
Whee! Ha ha!
Aah!

253
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,272
See you in hell,
mysterious demigod.

254
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,975
Aah!
Oh, no. Aah!

255
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:12,778
♪♪

256
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:16,482
[ Gasps ] Oh!
Oh, my God. It was me all along,

257
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:20,619
I was the bored demigod
torturing those poor Sims.

258
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:21,854
[ Sniffing ]

259
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,389
Oh, man. And I pissed myself
for real.

260
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,257
Well, this isn't fun at all.
Well, I guess

261
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:28,728
I'll just take out my anger
on those digital hostages.

262
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,896
They don't really have
feelings after all.

263
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:31,931
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

264
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,265
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

265
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,267
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

266
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,435
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

267
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:37,770
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

268
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,605
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

269
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:40,606
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

270
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:41,841
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

271
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,743
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

272
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,778
Ba-gawk! Bawk.

273
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,016
Stoopid Monkey.