1
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:10,643
[ Theme music playing ]
2
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:17,050
♪♪
3
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:23,456
♪♪
4
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,358
It's alive!
5
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:34,501
♪♪
6
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:43,643
♪♪
7
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:47,547
Who watches the Watchmen?
8
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Heh...
Ah, shit, they're onto us!
9
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,750
[ Rustles ]
10
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:54,421
[ Pop music playing ]
11
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,556
♪ If you're goin' to be
our lice host ♪
12
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,425
♪ We're going to latch
onto your head ♪
13
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,693
♪ This one belongs to Jessica ♪
14
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,996
♪ And she just turned ten ♪
15
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,465
♪ Lice breed
in close proximity ♪
16
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,434
♪ We multiply with ease ♪
17
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,636
♪ She picked us up
in the ball pit ♪
18
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:11,905
♪ At a local Chuck E. Cheese ♪
19
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,641
♪ So, here's the deal
on parasites, baby ♪
20
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:16,609
♪ It's really hard to get rid of
her and her and me ♪
21
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,511
♪ Got nits on the root,
laying eggs to boot ♪
22
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,814
♪ Got bugs in your rug from
a dirty fella's nugs ♪
23
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,582
♪ Use shampoo,
you better rinse, repeat ♪
24
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,617
♪ Look at me, ha-ha,
I'm in the laundry ♪
25
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:25,952
-Lice Girls!
-You are never going to
26
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,954
Chuck E. Cheese ever again.
27
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:31,057
What do you think we abducted
this time, Zandar?
28
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,860
I dunno, Zortex, probably
another cow or farmer.
29
00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:36,996
Whatever it is,
get ready for probes city!
30
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[ Roaring ]
31
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,734
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
32
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,803
Aah!
33
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,604
[ Screaming ]
34
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,640
[ Splat ]
35
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,776
I regret everything!
36
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:54,814
[ Roaring ]
37
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:55,882
[ Beeping ]
38
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,485
[ Warbling ]
39
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,120
Courage sure looks relaxed.
40
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:02,355
Ahh.
41
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,424
Oh, how many Prozac
did you give him?
42
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,125
Enough.
43
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,127
Oh!
[ Roaring ]
44
00:02:08,193 --> 00:02:10,363
Stupid dog!
Help us!
45
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,532
He can't! The Prozac!
46
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,133
That's gonna leave a mark!
47
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Oh, my!
48
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,670
Ah!
Stupid Prozac!
49
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:20,240
[ Courage sighs contentedly ]
50
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♪ I've been a bad, bad dog ♪
51
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,777
♪ Bad dog ♪
52
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:28,281
♪ I've been a careless
man's best friend ♪
53
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-♪ Woof ♪
-♪ Oh ♪
54
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,952
So I said we should all pitch in
on a coffee maker,
55
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,188
since we all enjoy coffee.
Coffee maker?
56
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That's what I said.
[ Squeaking ]
57
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:37,724
It's General Leia!
58
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,091
She's right outside
the window!
59
00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:41,394
Move the ship!
We need to help her inside!
60
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,029
I hear we might
get a coffee maker.
61
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:45,531
Well, it makes sense.
We all enjoy coffee.
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00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:46,966
[ Thud ]
Oh, my God!
63
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,735
Man: Damn it,
we got to catch up to her!
64
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:49,903
Man: Pull up alongside her,
65
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,304
we can pull her through
the side door.
66
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,006
Man: Yeah, let's open
the door to space!
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That should have
no consequences.
68
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:58,011
I can't reach her.
Turn the ship.
69
00:02:58,077 --> 00:02:59,913
Aah, no,
that was too fast!
70
00:02:59,978 --> 00:03:01,581
[ Thudding ]
71
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,449
She's coming back!
Turn the ship again!
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00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,985
♪♪
73
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:10,256
Come on, come on,
almost there, come on.
74
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,425
Yay!
Excited cheering!
75
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,127
What did I miss?
76
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,029
We're getting a coffee maker!
77
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:17,397
[ Shopkeeper's bell rings ]
78
00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:20,366
Ah, Squall Leonhart,
I heard you were coming to town,
79
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:23,570
but I didn't dare dream
you'd walk into my humble store!
80
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,139
I am always looking for new
and unusual weapons.
81
00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:29,542
For you see, I'm the master
of...zapow!
82
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,611
The gun blade!
83
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,846
Cuts like a sword,
and when I pull the trigger,
84
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,449
it vibrates extra hard --
bzzt!
85
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:40,119
Inflicting super mega damage
on my foes!
86
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:43,122
I doubt you have anything
for sale as cool as this.
87
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:44,390
Ah, don't be so sure --
88
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[ Crash, roaring ]
89
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Aah! Aah!
Fuckin' bear!
90
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Oh, Goddamnit, ahh!
[ Vibrating ]
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00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,932
[ Munch, squelches ]
92
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:55,168
[ Roars, hatch squeaks
and thuds ]
93
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:56,970
[ Whooshing ]
94
00:03:57,036 --> 00:04:00,206
Ugh, all right, Neo, you can
make your one phone call.
95
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,674
Thank you.
96
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:05,411
Connection, disappearing.
Hey!
97
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:09,082
♪ I'm only a bill,
yes, simply a bill ♪
98
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:10,617
Whoa!
Wow.
99
00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,051
Stealing the Declaration
of Independence
100
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:13,686
was easier than I thought.
101
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,555
It's inside, you idiot!
102
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,992
Now, where did that
little anthropomorphic
103
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:20,726
rolled up piece of paper go?
104
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:24,263
Wait, was it never here?
Am I having an acid flashback?
105
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,500
Oh, my God, I'm freaking out!
This stupid Prozac!
106
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:31,204
[ Screaming ]
107
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,338
[ Blade rings, bear roars ]
108
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,873
[ Sword vibrating,
man screaming ]
109
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,308
[ Roar, munch ]
110
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:38,211
[ Grunting, sword vibrating ]
111
00:04:38,277 --> 00:04:43,249
[ Cartoony sound effects ]
112
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,518
I am the terror that
quack in the night!
113
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,987
I am the poison ivy rash
on the nuts
114
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,889
that ruined your hunting trip!
115
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,691
Now that Darkwing Duck
is here --
116
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,626
[ Gunshot ]
Jesus! Gah, what the --
117
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,996
[ Groaning ]
118
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,564
[ Gunshot ]
119
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,566
Flapping ineffectively --
I'm a duck!
120
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,235
Why the hell can't I
get out of here?!
121
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:04,937
Gah, shoulder hit!
Highly survivable.
122
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,073
Okay, D.W.,
ready to hit the road?
123
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,307
[ Gunshot ]
Aah!
124
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,309
Launchpad, is that you?
125
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:11,811
[ Gunshot ]
Oh, God, why?!
126
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,479
Uncle Scrooge?
Aah!
127
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:14,981
Dewey!
[ Gunshot ]
128
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:19,152
♪♪
129
00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:21,254
Greetings, viewers!
130
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,256
You may call me the Lookie-Loo,
131
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,224
for that is my name.
132
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:28,661
I have transported you
to my battle dome
133
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:31,964
on the planet Iowyo.
134
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:35,134
[ Roaring, flames roar ]
135
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,804
This is Fang Banger!
136
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,906
He will soon destroy
your planet.
137
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:43,976
Only Earth's strongest
can hope to stop him.
138
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:47,647
But who is your
mightiest super team?
139
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:52,885
Let the Secret Infinity Contest
of Crisis Champions begin!
140
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:57,690
♪ Secret Infinity Contest of
Motherfuckin' Crisis Champions ♪
141
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:00,760
♪ Cha-cha-cha Cheese League,
Cheese League, baby! ♪
142
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,596
Colby!
The leader and the brain!
143
00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,265
Cheddar!
He's straight up making it rain!
144
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:09,035
Brie! Sexy mama
with a Southern sass!
145
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,004
Muenster! Buff and handsome,
bustin' ass!
146
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,640
And don't forget about
Baby Swiss!
147
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,311
♪ Baby! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha
Cheese League! ♪
148
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:20,847
♪ Squatch Squad, Squatch Squad ♪
149
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,716
♪ come get your crotch gnawed
by the Squatch Squad ♪
150
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:24,851
Bigfoot!
151
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,486
Peace on Earth is his goal!
152
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:27,653
Spacesquatch!
153
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,088
He's comin' for
your black hole!
154
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,323
Batsquatch!
155
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:31,924
Echolocates with sonar!
156
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:34,527
-Skunk Ape!
-He's got a stinky faux-nar!
157
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:35,695
Sheep Squatch!
158
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,230
Don't you call him a lamb!
159
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:39,665
-Blurryfoot!
-Never caught on cam!
160
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:43,002
♪ Squatch Squad, baby,
Squatch Squad! ♪
161
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,539
♪ Road Hawgs, grab a cheese log
and roll these dawgs ♪
162
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,207
♪ They're the Road Hawgs ♪
163
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,409
-Man Pig!
-More man than pig!
164
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:52,945
-Pig Man!
-Favorite Newton fig!
165
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,114
-Flank!
-Favorite Campbell knee!
166
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,116
And don't forget about Steve!
167
00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:00,853
♪ Road Hawgs, up your fucking
ass with Road Hawgs! ♪
168
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,557
♪ Hang on to your ass, here
comes Bigfoot in Bigfoot! ♪
169
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,759
♪ One's a beast
and one's a truck ♪
170
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:10,797
♪ Yes, we know you already saw
Bigfoot on that other team ♪
171
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,398
♪ But this one's different! ♪
172
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,467
♪ Bigfoot in Bigfoot! ♪
173
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,103
♪ You won't get chiseled by
the Marble Mob ♪
174
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,806
♪ Gettin' their rocks off
on the job ♪
175
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,575
♪ Marble Mob, Marble Mob ♪
176
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,644
-David!
-A straight-up masterpiece!
177
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,179
-Venus de Milo!
-Don't need arms
178
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:27,680
to bitch-slap your niece!
179
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,016
-The Thinker.
-He's gonna blow your mind!
180
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,784
-Manneken Pis!
-His pee will make you blind!
181
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:35,788
-Abe Lincoln!
-He invented basketball?
182
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,590
♪ Marble Mob,
don't be a slob ♪
183
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:42,528
♪ You idiotic knob-job, get down
with the Marble Mob! ♪
184
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:44,931
Now then,
185
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,332
the tournament grid
will be divided thusly.
186
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,970
Warning, warning, oxygen levels
approaching fatal minimums.
187
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,605
[ Grunts ]
188
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:55,875
[ Alarm blaring ]
189
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,243
Baa!
[ Gunshot ]
190
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,779
[ Alarm blaring ]
191
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:02,081
Sorry, the Fang Banger will
definitely eat
192
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,249
the entire earth now.
193
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,951
We gave it
the old college try, though.
194
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,452
That's what's important.
195
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,787
Peace out, yo!
196
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,522
[ Beeping ]
197
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:10,857
Fuckin' bear!
198
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:14,193
[ Roaring ]
199
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,396
Bored with the same old Easter?
Yeah!
200
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:20,233
Resurrection of Christ
not holding their attention?
201
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:21,834
It sure isn't!
202
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,770
Now Easter can really
get hoppin'!
203
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,906
God sacrificed his only son,
204
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,742
so you won't have
to sacrifice the fun.
205
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,477
Mom and Dad love to hop,
206
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,746
even Grandma just can't stop!
207
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:37,917
The Jesus Pogo Sticks
commercial aired to
208
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,086
a world wide
Super Bowl audience.
209
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:43,322
And at that precise moment,
the rapture began.
210
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:46,325
God could take no more.
211
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,862
[ Adventure music ]
212
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,364
Mind control tigers?
213
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,966
You're usually more of
a snake guy.
214
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:58,838
I know, but my exotic animal guy
had a deal on tigers
215
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,940
I couldn't pass-ss up.
216
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,544
We can't go hand-to-hand
with tigers, Duke!
217
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:06,946
We're not trained
to deal with them!
218
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,681
Luckily, we have someone
who is --
219
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,350
I'd like to introduce our newest
recruit -- everyone, meet
220
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:14,587
Joe-e-e Exotic!
221
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,589
Howdy, Joes, y'all,
we're looking for someone
222
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,625
who knows how to handle tigers
and gaslight two meth addicted
223
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,494
husbands,
you've got a bull's eye.
224
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,296
Okay, let's get to
that machine
225
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,698
and destroy it
before it's too late.
226
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,434
Yo, Joe!
227
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,936
Here we go, attack, hut, hut!
228
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,003
We're under attack!
229
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,205
Mind control button push!
230
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,141
[ Sinister laugh ]
231
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,444
Tigers, kill all the Joes!
232
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:40,346
[ Roaring ]
233
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,914
The tigers are coming!
234
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,116
Aah!
My arm!
235
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,985
Go, go, go.
Flank 'em to the right!
236
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,120
Flank 'em to the left!
Oh!
237
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:50,589
You gotta --
you gotta do something!
238
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,991
[ Playing Country tune ]
239
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,060
♪ Hey, Cobra kitties ♪
240
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:58,030
♪ Fuckin' papa's
gonna sing you a song ♪
241
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,765
♪ Hey, Cobra kitties ♪
242
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:04,070
♪ Can't we all just get along? ♪
243
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,739
♪ Hey, Cobra kitties ♪
-Aah! Cobra kitties!
244
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,175
♪ It's time to let Cobra go ♪
245
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:12,645
♪ Hey, Cobra kitties ♪
246
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:16,349
♪ It's time to be a G.I. Joe ♪
247
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:19,518
Way to go, Exotic -- now it's
you who controls the tigers!
248
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,420
Girl, I've always controlled
these tigers.
249
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,923
Kill that fucking Cobra asshole!
250
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,691
Oh! Run away!
251
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:29,628
Somebody stop
these stupid cats!
252
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,831
Oh! Oh! Run away!
253
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,432
Way to go, Joe!
254
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:36,936
How do you get that tight
outfit on and can I watch?
255
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:40,773
Look here, Carol, this machine
you sold me doesn't work.
256
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,275
What happened
to the Baskin guarantee?
257
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,946
Well, cats and kittens,
it worked on my husband.
258
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,482
It should work just fine.
259
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:51,317
Oh, my God.
She admitted it.
260
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,351
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
261
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:53,686
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
262
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,588
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
263
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:56,756
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,090
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
265
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,925
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:00,926
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
267
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,261
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
268
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,263
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,432
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
270
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,436
Stoopid Monkey.