1 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,176 [ Theme music plays ] 2 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,645 [ Laughs ] 3 00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:18,118 ♪♪ 4 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:23,590 ♪♪ 5 00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:25,825 Man: It's alive! 6 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:33,366 ♪♪ 7 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,368 [ Laughs ] 8 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:39,839 ♪♪ 9 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,875 [ Laughs ] 10 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,378 Oh, yeah. I'm ready. 11 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,414 Give it to me, Rube Goldberg. 12 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,916 Hold on. Let me put on a condom. 13 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,089 [ Mouse squeaking ] 14 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:58,491 Oh, uh... 15 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:00,960 Hm. 16 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,996 Mm-hmm. 17 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:04,063 Mm, yeah. 18 00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:07,834 Uh, uh... 19 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,303 Uh...hmm. 20 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:11,670 Mm? 21 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,339 Oh, um... 22 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,508 Oh, um, oka-- okay? 23 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,676 [ Train horn blows ] Mm. Uh... 24 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,981 I've lost my erection. 25 00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:26,019 Hey, hey! 26 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,288 Who's knock-knocking on Genie's door? 27 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:29,622 Hi, uh, Mr. Genie. 28 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:32,625 I'm one of the bell-ringers you magically created 29 00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:35,261 for Prince Ali's parade today. [ Clanking ] 30 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,464 Uh-huh. Yeah, I-I just remember 31 00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:41,601 appearing next to 30 other dudes dressed in these weird hats 32 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,704 pumping these bells up and down in the air. 33 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,072 Like, do you know who I am? 34 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,173 Do I have a name? 35 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,741 I mean, I know I'm damn good at bells. 36 00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:51,077 [ Chuckles ] Uh, Bellford. Bellford's your name. 37 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,713 Okay, Bell Jar-Jar Binks. Uh, I should turn in. 38 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,950 And you know the 53 peacocks and 95 white Persian monkeys 39 00:01:57,015 --> 00:01:58,251 we were singing about? 40 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,254 Can you wish me, uh, some white Persian monkey food? 41 00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:02,956 They fling poo when they're hungry. 42 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,757 Kevin, buddy, I don't make the wishes. 43 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:05,859 I make the magic. 44 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,594 What happens afterwards, I quite literally 45 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,062 don't give a shit. Door slam. 46 00:02:09,127 --> 00:02:11,631 [ Animals calling ] It's a no, guys. 47 00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:16,769 A pen. I gave Diane my heart, and she gave me a pen. 48 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,805 Woman: Well, have you tried the pen? 49 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,444 Whoa! Ooh! 50 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,184 [ Both moaning ] 51 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:36,189 We must stop before Barbie sees us. 52 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,457 Barbie: Ken. [ Gasps ] 53 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:40,960 Ken, Ken, why did I find this in our bedroom? 54 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,062 [ Dramatic music plays ] 55 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,564 Frilly underwear. 56 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,100 [ Dramatic music plays ] Oh, no. 57 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,469 That's nothing, darling. I -- [ Doorbell rings ] 58 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,738 Who could that be? At this hour? 59 00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:53,473 [ Dramatic music plays ] 60 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:54,874 Totally Tattoo Barbie? 61 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,609 But I thought you were discontinued. 62 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,778 I may have been discontinued, but I never die. 63 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,847 In fact, I've totally been living next door 64 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,515 and sleeping with Ken for months. 65 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,551 [ Giggles ] You are totally full of lies. 66 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:05,585 Oh, yeah? [ Gasps ] 67 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,387 [ Dramatic music plays ] 68 00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:08,655 Slap, slap! [ Doorbell rings ] 69 00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:10,723 Who could that be? At this hour? 70 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,192 [ Dramatic music plays ] Holiday Memories Barbie? 71 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,394 What are you doing here? 72 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,930 I had amnesia, but I finally got my memory back. 73 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:19,332 I remember all the holidays I spent with you, 74 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:23,536 which led me to remember that I am, in fact, your twin sister. 75 00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,204 It can't be. I don't remember you. 76 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,141 You got amnesia, too, Barbie. 77 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,410 I mean, look at us. We're identical. 78 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:33,446 [ Doorbell rings ] Another guest? At this hour? 79 00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,583 [ Dramatic music plays ] Picture Pockets Barbie, what are you doing here? 80 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:38,952 I have a picture in my pocket that you need to see. 81 00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:42,388 [ Dramatic music plays ] [ Gasps ] Ken! How could you? 82 00:03:42,454 --> 00:03:43,289 Slap, slap! 83 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,958 [ Speaks indistinctly ] Slap! 84 00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:48,761 I'm sorry, Barbie, but there's also something you must know. 85 00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:50,430 [ Dramatic music plays ] I am also your twin. 86 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:51,698 [ Gasps ] [ Gasps ] Oh, yeah. 87 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:54,901 I also forgot to mention, I'm also your long-lost twin. 88 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:55,902 Oh, my! [ Gasps ] 89 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,503 I have to admit something, too. 90 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,973 Barbie, I am also your twin. 91 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,841 [ Dramatic music plays ] 92 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:02,842 Oh! 93 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,044 Together: Ken, my love! Oh, no! 94 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:06,512 We've got to get him to the hospital. 95 00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:11,351 [ Dramatic music plays ] My God, my twin! 96 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,052 Oh, my God! 97 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,154 [ Dramatic music plays ] My God, could it be? 98 00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:18,156 My long-lost twin brother? 99 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:21,427 I finally found you. Oh, no. 100 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,796 I hate to say this to my own twin brother, 101 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:26,966 but, Ken, you have a brain tumor, and you are going to die. 102 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,469 [ All crying, speaking indistinctly ] 103 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,270 I also have something to say. 104 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,106 It's a good thing we're at the hospital 105 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,908 because I'm pregnant... [ Barbies gasp ] 106 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,277 with your baby. Mine? 107 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:39,779 [ Flatline ] 108 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:40,880 [ All crying, speaking indistinctly ] 109 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,715 Not my brother! 110 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,917 [ Crying ] How will I ever replace my Ken? 111 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:48,354 Did somebody say "Ken"? [ Dramatic music plays ] 112 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,956 He-llo. 113 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,695 I can't wait to see what Totoro looks like now. 114 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,463 Me, too. Okay, Totoro, 115 00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:00,633 come on out and show us how much weight you lost. 116 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,504 [ Both scream ] 117 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:05,905 Oh, my God! 118 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,141 My eyes, my eyes! 119 00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:09,442 Ugh, where am I? 120 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,845 Hello, Mark. I want to play a game. 121 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:16,015 If you can't saw off both your arms in 1 minute, 122 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,117 10 gallons of acid will drop from the ceiling. 123 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,220 Oh, my God. You still ride a tricycle? 124 00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,790 What are you, 4? [ Laughs ] 125 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,027 [ Crying ] Hey, kiddo. 126 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:31,364 Aw, another victim make fun of your trike? Yes. 127 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:34,801 Well, maybe it's time I teach you how to ride a bike. 128 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:37,270 This is terrifying. 129 00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:38,971 ♪ Jigsaw and Billy riding bikes together ♪ 130 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:42,775 ♪ Nothing they can't weather with love on their side ♪ 131 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:46,012 ♪ I know you're afraid, but there's nothing to fear ♪ 132 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:52,051 ♪ 'Cause Daddy is here to fill you with pride ♪ I'm doing it. I'm doing it. 133 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,420 [ Gasps ] Huh? What's going on? 134 00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:57,957 Hello, Justin. I want to play a game. 135 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,759 You have to cut off your testicles, 136 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,094 then cut out your eyes, 137 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,329 put your eyes where your nuts were, and vice-versa. 138 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,598 [ Laughs maniacally ] Holy shit. 139 00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,567 You are a natural on that bicycle. 140 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,102 [ Bicycle bell dings ] 141 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:10,737 Thanks for the shirt, guys. 142 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:13,206 I-I can't believe you think I'm the world's -- 143 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:16,209 Ah! There can be only one! 144 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:21,647 Narrator: He was a championship coach who took on the impossible. 145 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,016 The hell was that? 146 00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:26,085 Foul! 147 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,587 Announcer: The Harlem Globetrotters are running rings 148 00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:31,023 around the Washington Generals. Oh, my God. 149 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:34,527 The players are getting hypnotized with an umbrella. 150 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:36,796 Narrator: They told him it was impossible. 151 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,064 Coach, it's not a real game. 152 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,900 Yeah, you're telling me. Guy did a cartwheel out there. 153 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,635 That's not traveling? 154 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,170 Nah, don't you get it? 155 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,506 Our team has been told to lose. 156 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,541 By who, society? 157 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,243 But he wouldn't give up. 158 00:06:50,308 --> 00:06:52,211 We're going to play with the circus. 159 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,480 We're going to train with the circus. 160 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,315 [ Elephant trumpets ] 161 00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:57,650 Are those elephants? 162 00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,986 But just when victory seemed within reach... 163 00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:01,020 Great practice, guys. 164 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,588 A little more trampoline work, 165 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,056 and we're -- what's this? 166 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,793 We're the Baltimore Rockets now. You're leaving me?! 167 00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,861 Nah, they just change the name sometimes 168 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,663 so it looks like the Globetrotters 169 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:11,798 play multiple opponents. 170 00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:12,965 We're the same team. 171 00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,168 Narrator: ...he lost it all. [ Grunts ] 172 00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:16,369 Chair! Ah! 173 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,970 -[ Grunts ] -Oh! 174 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,338 Go to hell! 175 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:20,973 You're not leaving me. 176 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,109 I'm leaving you. Whoa! 177 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,977 Narrator: This summer... Let's do it for Coach. 178 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,379 Flying chair! 179 00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:30,149 You ready to be 0 and 16,006? 180 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:32,784 [ Ting! ] 181 00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:37,456 ...the best way to win is to actually start trying. Slam dunk. 182 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,592 [ Groaning ] Slamming the du-u-nk! 183 00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:41,127 You're not supposed to win. 184 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,196 And angels aren't supposed to fly. 185 00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,932 [ Buzzer ] [ Chuckles ] Glitter bucket. 186 00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:49,068 Oh, what are you idiots doing? I hired you to lose. 187 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,704 Oh, I'm ruined, ruined. 188 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,874 Excitement, hoot, and holler! 189 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,743 "The Washington Generals." 190 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:02,048 Hey, Arnold, why you looking so glum on this beautiful day? 191 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:03,316 It's Mother's Day. 192 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,885 I never got to meet mine because she died in childbirth. 193 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,353 Oh, God. [ Grunting ] 194 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,922 Come on, Mrs. Shortman, just one more push. 195 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,390 You can do it, honey. 196 00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:13,259 Oh, God! Oh, my God! 197 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,528 Is that a football? I've got him. I got him. 198 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,129 [ Grunts, screams ] 199 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,865 [ Blows whistle ] It's good. [ Car alarm blaring ] 200 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,801 Turns out, dads can die in childbirth, too. 201 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,606 Well, hello there, ladies. 202 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,875 We were actually hoping your hot brother was here 203 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,209 to take our order. 204 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,411 You ladies want to skip the movie and take turns making out? 205 00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:33,679 Yeah. Sure, Drake. 206 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,213 [ Grunts ] 207 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,015 [ Groans ] Drake has it so easy. 208 00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:39,818 If I looked like him, I'd be the one getting the girls. 209 00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:41,621 Josh, I don't pay you to monologue. 210 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,090 Get back to work. But Drake just left his shift 211 00:08:44,155 --> 00:08:45,790 to go make out with girls again. 212 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,760 Well, maybe if you looked like him, 213 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,630 you'd get the same allowance as he does as a hot person. 214 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,964 If only there was a way 215 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,700 to take his face off his face and put it on my face 216 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,770 and take my face off my face and put it on his face. 217 00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,005 Hmm. 218 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:02,441 Another day of minimum work thanks to my face. 219 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,477 [ Both grunt ] 220 00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:09,015 [ Groans ] What happened? 221 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,284 Aah! Ooh, what's up, brother? 222 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,085 I know we're not related, 223 00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,621 but now it's like looking in a mirror. 224 00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,223 W-Why do you have my face? 225 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,557 So sorry, brother, 226 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,127 but your days of being the hot, popular one are over. 227 00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:24,163 I took your face off your face and put it on my face 228 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,233 and took my face off my face and put it on your face. 229 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,702 I feel like there's got to be an easier way to say that. 230 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,736 There isn't. 231 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,271 Now, if you'll excuse me, 232 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,640 I have a harem of tween girls to attend to. 233 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,709 Ta-ta. Not my tween groupies. 234 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,045 [ Grunting ] Hug me, brother. 235 00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,579 Drake! 236 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,783 Surprise. Where did you get a gun? 237 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,052 Someone on the street gave it to me 'cause I'm hot. 238 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,553 Rhetorical question, brother, 239 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,256 because I've had the same thing happen to me my whole life. 240 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,657 Bang-bang! 241 00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:54,093 [ Speaks indistinctly ] Rat-tat-tat-tat- tat-tat-tat-tat! 242 00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:58,698 Indiscriminate firing! 243 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,333 That's it. Josh, you're fired. 244 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,301 But Josh -- I-I mean, Drake started it! 245 00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,736 Doesn't matter. He's hot. 246 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,138 He's allowed to start shootouts in public places. 247 00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:07,506 Thanks, babe. Aah! 248 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,709 Dodge. 249 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,047 [ Siren wailing ] [ Coughs ] 250 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,151 Arrest me. I don't care. 251 00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:20,920 I'll still be hot and popular in prison. 252 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,254 Yeah, a pretty boy like you 253 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,390 is bound to get a lot of attention in the slammer. 254 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,525 Ah, I didn't think this part through. [ Chuckles ] 255 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:27,560 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 256 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:28,794 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 257 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:30,863 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 258 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:31,931 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 259 00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,165 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 260 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:35,201 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 261 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,168 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 262 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,403 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 263 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,305 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 264 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,674 Ba-gawk! Bawk. 265 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,578 Stoopid Monkey.