WEBVTT X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000 00:00:05.405 --> 00:00:06.940 line:10% position:43% size:25% [LAUGHING] 00:00:08.408 --> 00:00:10.477 line:74% position:43% size:25% [WHIRRING] 00:00:13.780 --> 00:00:17.517 line:10% position:50% size:68% CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 00:00:17.584 --> 00:00:20.086 line:85% position:48% size:33% - IT'S ALIVE! 00:00:37.303 --> 00:00:38.605 line:85% position:50% size:78% - TONIGHT'S SPECIAL GUEST STAR: 00:00:38.671 --> 00:00:39.572 line:85% position:50% size:35% CONAN O'BRIEN. 00:00:39.639 --> 00:00:40.507 line:85% position:50% size:40% [DOORBELL RINGS] 00:00:40.573 --> 00:00:41.341 line:85% position:50% size:40% - ♪ HE'S RANDY ♪ 00:00:41.408 --> 00:00:43.543 line:79% position:23% size:53% align:start ♪ THE OBLIVIOUS PIZZA DELIVERY GUY ♪ 00:00:43.610 --> 00:00:44.444 line:85% position:50% size:40% - ♪ DING, DONG ♪ 00:00:44.511 --> 00:00:45.612 line:85% position:45% size:68% - HERE'S YOUR PIZZA, MA'AM. 00:00:45.678 --> 00:00:48.348 line:85% position:43% size:45% - [AUDIENCE HOOTS] 00:00:48.915 --> 00:00:50.150 line:85% position:45% size:68% - HERE'S YOUR PIZZA, MA'AM. 00:00:50.216 --> 00:00:51.785 line:85% position:50% size:43% THAT'LL BE 18.44. 00:00:51.851 --> 00:00:53.086 line:85% position:50% size:60% - I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH. 00:00:53.153 --> 00:00:56.089 line:79% position:25% size:50% align:start IS THERE ANOTHER WAY I CAN PAY FOR IT? 00:00:56.156 --> 00:00:58.324 line:85% position:50% size:70% - DO YOU HAVE A CREDIT CARD? 00:00:58.391 --> 00:01:01.294 line:85% position:43% size:65% - ISN'T THERE ANOTHER WAY? 00:01:01.361 --> 00:01:02.896 line:85% position:50% size:50% - TRAVELER'S CHECKS? 00:01:02.962 --> 00:01:04.464 line:85% position:48% size:13% - NO. 00:01:04.531 --> 00:01:05.799 line:85% position:50% size:23% I MEAN... 00:01:05.865 --> 00:01:06.800 line:85% position:50% size:28% - [HOOTING] 00:01:06.866 --> 00:01:07.734 line:85% position:48% size:33% - DEBIT CARD? 00:01:07.801 --> 00:01:09.235 line:85% position:50% size:63% WE DO THE DEBIT CARD NOW. 00:01:09.302 --> 00:01:10.470 line:85% position:50% size:18% - JEEZ. 00:01:10.537 --> 00:01:12.839 line:85% position:50% size:58% YOU SURE ARE OBLIVIOUS. 00:01:12.906 --> 00:01:13.673 line:85% position:50% size:40% - ♪ HE'S RANDY ♪ 00:01:13.740 --> 00:01:16.242 line:79% position:20% size:50% align:start ♪ THE OBLIVIOUS PIZZA DELIVERY GUY ♪ 00:01:16.309 --> 00:01:18.044 line:85% position:50% size:40% - ♪ DING, DONG ♪ 00:01:22.182 --> 00:01:23.883 line:85% position:50% size:55% - HE'S ABOUT TO CRACK. 00:01:23.950 --> 00:01:28.121 line:74% position:50% size:63% - YOU'VE SEEN "WORLD'S MOST ONE-SIDED FISTFIGHTS CAUGHT ON FILM." 00:01:28.188 --> 00:01:32.058 line:79% position:50% size:43% NOW CHECK IT OUT MARDI GRAS STYLE! 00:01:32.125 --> 00:01:34.127 line:79% position:48% size:55% WE TAKE TO THE STREETS OF NEW ORLEANS 00:01:34.194 --> 00:01:36.162 line:85% position:50% size:78% FOR WILD MARDI GRAS FIST FIGHTS 00:01:36.229 --> 00:01:39.766 line:79% position:25% size:50% align:start THAT ARE MORE ONE-SIDED THAN EVER. 00:01:39.833 --> 00:01:44.137 line:79% position:50% size:70% YOU GUMBO CRAZY FOR THESE ONE-SIDED FIST FIGHTS. 00:01:44.204 --> 00:01:45.138 line:85% position:50% size:18% - WHOA! 00:01:45.205 --> 00:01:48.741 line:79% position:50% size:58% - THESE FIST FIGHTS ARE OUTRAGEOUSLY ONE-SIDED. 00:01:48.808 --> 00:01:50.243 line:85% position:50% size:38% I GARE-RON-TEE! 00:01:50.310 --> 00:01:51.377 line:85% position:50% size:43% - WHAT THE--AAGH! 00:01:51.444 --> 00:01:53.913 line:79% position:50% size:53% - AND THE FIST FIGHTS REALLY GET ONE-SIDED 00:01:53.980 --> 00:01:56.115 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN SNOOP DOGG MAKES THE SCENE! 00:01:56.182 --> 00:01:59.018 line:85% position:50% size:78% - HEY, Y'ALL. SNIBBITY DIGGITY! 00:02:00.386 --> 00:02:01.621 line:85% position:45% size:30% - ORDER NOW. 00:02:01.688 --> 00:02:03.223 line:85% position:50% size:60% - YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT, 00:02:03.289 --> 00:02:04.791 line:85% position:50% size:63% WHEN HER BEEPER GOES OFF, 00:02:04.858 --> 00:02:07.594 line:85% position:50% size:80% PEOPLE BELIEVE SHE'S BACKING UP. 00:02:07.660 --> 00:02:09.028 line:85% position:45% size:50% - YOUR MOTHER IS.... 00:02:09.095 --> 00:02:10.497 line:85% position:50% size:23% - OH, MY! 00:02:10.563 --> 00:02:12.332 line:79% position:25% size:50% align:start THE EDUCATIONAL WRESTLING FEDERATION 00:02:12.398 --> 00:02:13.466 line:85% position:50% size:58% IS LIVE AND ON THE AIR. 00:02:13.533 --> 00:02:17.103 line:79% position:50% size:78% AND TRUST ME, FOLKS, IT'S GONNA BE ONE HELL OF A NIGHT. 00:02:17.170 --> 00:02:18.404 line:85% position:50% size:65% BUCK McCOY HERE BACK AGAIN 00:02:18.471 --> 00:02:21.474 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start WITH FORMER U.S. SECRETARY OF EDUCATION ROD PAIGE! 00:02:21.541 --> 00:02:22.942 line:79% position:50% size:53% - HOPEFULLY TONIGHT'S EVENT WILL BE 00:02:23.009 --> 00:02:24.611 line:79% position:43% size:65% INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING AS WELL AS-- 00:02:24.677 --> 00:02:27.780 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start - WHAT'S THAT? SOMETHING'S HAPPENING IN THE BACK! 00:02:29.582 --> 00:02:30.884 line:85% position:48% size:73% HERE COMES BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, 00:02:30.950 --> 00:02:33.786 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start AND, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HE DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY. 00:02:33.853 --> 00:02:35.421 line:85% position:48% size:75% - FRANKLIN PLAYED A VITAL ROLE 00:02:35.488 --> 00:02:36.389 line:85% position:50% size:58% BUILDING SUPPORT ABROAD 00:02:36.456 --> 00:02:38.091 line:79% position:25% size:50% align:start FOR AMERICA'S BATTLE FOR INDEPENDENCE. 00:02:38.157 --> 00:02:39.292 line:85% position:50% size:60% - AND, PARDON MY FRENCH, 00:02:39.359 --> 00:02:42.795 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start BUT HE ALSO PLAYED A VITAL ROLE IN GETTING HIS ASS KICKED-- 00:02:42.862 --> 00:02:44.097 line:85% position:50% size:80% COURTESY OF THE WRIGHT BROTHERS. 00:02:44.163 --> 00:02:46.599 line:79% position:50% size:43% AFTER LAST WEEK'S PEARL HARBOR JOB, 00:02:46.666 --> 00:02:49.235 line:79% position:20% size:55% align:start FRANKLIN HAS GOT TO BE HUNGRY FOR REVENGE. 00:02:49.302 --> 00:02:52.138 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start - I SUPPOSE Y'ALL SAW WHAT THE WRIGHT BROTHERS DID 00:02:52.205 --> 00:02:53.907 line:85% position:48% size:75% TO OLD BEN FRANKLIN LAST WEEK. 00:02:53.973 --> 00:02:56.576 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start WELL, IF Y'ALL THINK IT'S A BUNCH OF BULL CRAP, 00:02:56.643 --> 00:02:58.711 line:85% position:45% size:50% GIVE ME A "BOO-YAH!" 00:02:58.778 --> 00:02:59.646 line:85% position:43% size:25% - BOO-YAH! 00:02:59.712 --> 00:03:01.047 line:85% position:50% size:50% - AND, FURTHERMORE-- 00:03:01.114 --> 00:03:01.848 line:85% position:48% size:33% [MUSIC PLAYS] 00:03:01.915 --> 00:03:03.716 line:79% position:20% size:48% align:start - IT'S THOSE DAMNED WRIGHT BROTHERS! 00:03:03.783 --> 00:03:05.518 line:79% position:50% size:60% - THEIR FIRST SUCCESSFUL AIRPLANE FLIGHT 00:03:05.585 --> 00:03:07.854 line:79% position:50% size:63% TOOK PLACE IN KITTY HAWK, NORTH CAROLINA. 00:03:07.921 --> 00:03:08.922 line:85% position:50% size:63% - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, ROD! 00:03:08.988 --> 00:03:10.390 line:85% position:48% size:55% THOSE SNEAKY BASTARDS! 00:03:10.456 --> 00:03:12.225 line:85% position:48% size:35% [CROWD BOOING] 00:03:12.292 --> 00:03:13.259 line:85% position:50% size:40% - HEY, FRANKLIN! 00:03:13.326 --> 00:03:16.930 line:79% position:18% size:63% align:start IT SURE WAS FUN KICKING YOUR SORRY ASS LAST WEEK. 00:03:16.996 --> 00:03:19.198 line:79% position:20% size:50% align:start AND WE WANT TO DO IT AGAIN TONIGHT! 00:03:19.265 --> 00:03:22.835 line:79% position:15% size:70% align:start - AND, BY THE WAY, THE MATCH WILL START RIGHT NOW. 00:03:22.902 --> 00:03:24.203 line:85% position:50% size:63% - THEY'RE DOING IT AGAIN! 00:03:24.270 --> 00:03:25.338 line:85% position:50% size:58% THEY'RE DOING IT AGAIN! 00:03:25.405 --> 00:03:26.706 line:85% position:50% size:80% JUMPIN' [BLEEP] ON A POGO STICK, 00:03:26.773 --> 00:03:30.877 line:79% position:48% size:75% THE WRIGHT BROTHERS ARE TAKING IT TO BENJAMIN FRANKLIN AGAIN! 00:03:32.045 --> 00:03:32.679 line:85% position:45% size:30% IT'S GANDHI! 00:03:32.745 --> 00:03:34.213 line:85% position:50% size:80% I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S GANDHI! 00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:37.283 line:79% position:50% size:78% - GANDHI'S METHOD OF NONVIOLENT CONFLICT RESOLUTION 00:03:37.350 --> 00:03:38.484 line:85% position:50% size:63% WAS ULTIMATELY WHAT GOT-- 00:03:38.551 --> 00:03:39.619 line:85% position:50% size:63% - YOU'RE DAMNED STRAIGHT! 00:03:39.686 --> 00:03:42.555 line:79% position:50% size:78% MAHATMA'S GONNA RESOLVE THIS CONFLICT WITH A VENGEANCE! 00:03:42.622 --> 00:03:43.756 line:85% position:50% size:23% HELLFIRE! 00:03:43.823 --> 00:03:46.426 line:79% position:20% size:48% align:start FRANKLIN'S GOING UP FOR THE C-NOTE! 00:03:46.492 --> 00:03:47.627 line:85% position:45% size:28% THE C-NOTE! 00:03:47.694 --> 00:03:51.464 line:85% position:48% size:75% YEAH! NOW, THAT'S EDUCATIONAL! 00:03:51.531 --> 00:03:53.266 line:85% position:45% size:70% - I CAN STILL SEE YOUR SACK. 00:03:53.333 --> 00:03:56.603 line:79% position:43% size:65% - WELCOME BACK TO THE 19th SEASON OF "OPRAH." 00:03:56.669 --> 00:04:00.440 line:79% position:23% size:55% align:start TODAY, NO DREAM IS TOO BIG TO FULFILL. 00:04:00.506 --> 00:04:02.809 line:85% position:50% size:65% WHAT CAN OPRAH DO FOR YOU? 00:04:02.875 --> 00:04:03.810 line:85% position:43% size:45% - ME?! OH! OH, MY! 00:04:03.876 --> 00:04:05.745 line:79% position:20% size:45% align:start I'D LOVE A NICE PASTRAMI SANDWICH. 00:04:05.812 --> 00:04:08.982 line:85% position:50% size:63% - CHECK UNDER YOUR CHAIR! 00:04:09.048 --> 00:04:11.150 line:85% position:50% size:35% [CROWD "OOHS"] 00:04:11.217 --> 00:04:12.018 line:85% position:45% size:30% - IT'S GOOD. 00:04:12.085 --> 00:04:16.055 line:79% position:20% size:58% align:start - EVERYONE ELSE, LOOK UNDER YOUR CHAIRS. 00:04:16.823 --> 00:04:17.624 line:85% position:43% size:25% [ALL GASP] 00:04:17.690 --> 00:04:19.425 line:85% position:50% size:50% DON'T OPEN THEM YET. 00:04:19.492 --> 00:04:20.426 line:85% position:50% size:23% - OH! OH! 00:04:20.493 --> 00:04:22.695 line:85% position:43% size:25% - NOT YET! 00:04:22.762 --> 00:04:24.397 line:85% position:43% size:65% - WHAT IS IT? WHAT? WHAT?! 00:04:24.464 --> 00:04:27.667 line:85% position:48% size:55% - NOW! OPEN THE BOXES! 00:04:27.734 --> 00:04:30.436 line:85% position:43% size:65% THEY'RE KEYS TO A NEW CAR! 00:04:30.503 --> 00:04:33.806 line:85% position:50% size:60% EVERYONE GETS A NEW CAR! 00:04:33.873 --> 00:04:35.908 line:85% position:45% size:30% - [CHEERING] 00:04:35.975 --> 00:04:37.510 line:85% position:48% size:13% - OH. 00:04:37.577 --> 00:04:38.978 line:85% position:50% size:23% - OK, OK. 00:04:39.045 --> 00:04:40.179 line:85% position:50% size:53% OPRAH'S GOT A CALLER. 00:04:40.246 --> 00:04:41.080 line:10% position:50% size:55% WHAT'S YOUR WISH, SIR. 00:04:41.147 --> 00:04:43.616 line:10% position:45% size:48% - I WOULD LIKE MORE LAND FOR MY PEOPLE, 00:04:43.683 --> 00:04:45.451 line:10% position:50% size:60% LAND WE CAN BE PROUD OF. 00:04:45.518 --> 00:04:46.319 line:10% position:48% size:53% - YOU WANT MORE LAND? 00:04:46.386 --> 00:04:50.957 line:79% position:50% size:50% HOW ABOUT THE ENTIRE LOUISIANA PURCHASE! 00:04:51.024 --> 00:04:53.359 line:85% position:43% size:25% [APPLAUSE] 00:04:53.426 --> 00:04:55.895 line:79% position:50% size:55% - THIS WILL LOOK GREAT IN MY CASINO. 00:04:55.962 --> 00:04:57.497 line:85% position:48% size:73% - YOU THINK THAT'S SOMETHING? 00:04:57.563 --> 00:04:59.966 line:85% position:45% size:50% NO DREAM IS TOO BIG. 00:05:00.033 --> 00:05:01.100 line:85% position:43% size:45% LOOK OUT, AMERICA, 00:05:01.167 --> 00:05:02.201 line:85% position:48% size:55% WE'RE RAISING THE DEAD 00:05:02.268 --> 00:05:04.270 line:79% position:20% size:48% align:start SO YOU CAN SEE YOUR LOVED ONES AGAIN! 00:05:04.337 --> 00:05:06.873 line:79% position:45% size:48% ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN LAID TO REST, 00:05:06.939 --> 00:05:08.274 line:85% position:50% size:55% I WANT YOU TO RISE UP! 00:05:08.341 --> 00:05:09.308 line:85% position:50% size:48% THE POWER OF OPRAH! 00:05:09.375 --> 00:05:11.144 line:85% position:50% size:65% THE BIG O IS COMING AT YA! 00:05:11.210 --> 00:05:12.245 line:85% position:50% size:63% WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME. 00:05:12.311 --> 00:05:16.349 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start BUT WE CAN END THE SHOW WITH ONE MORE DREAM COME TRUE. 00:05:16.416 --> 00:05:17.684 line:85% position:50% size:63% SALLY, FROM NORTH DAKOTA, 00:05:17.750 --> 00:05:20.453 line:85% position:50% size:78% WHAT'S YOUR DREAM, LITTLE GIRL? 00:05:20.520 --> 00:05:24.290 line:79% position:20% size:55% align:start - I'D LIKE DADDY TO STOP HURTING MOMMY. 00:05:26.359 --> 00:05:27.493 line:85% position:50% size:35% - [MAN COUGHS] 00:05:27.560 --> 00:05:28.327 line:85% position:48% size:15% - ARR! 00:05:28.394 --> 00:05:30.596 line:85% position:45% size:70% WHAT THAT STEERING WHEEL BE? 00:05:30.663 --> 00:05:33.166 line:85% position:45% size:70% - ARR! IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS. 00:05:33.232 --> 00:05:34.400 line:85% position:50% size:63% - SEE YOU AT THE MEETING. 00:05:34.467 --> 00:05:35.935 line:85% position:50% size:60% - YEAH, SEE YOU THERE... 00:05:36.002 --> 00:05:37.503 line:85% position:50% size:18% DOUCHE. 00:05:42.542 --> 00:05:44.377 line:85% position:50% size:18% [FARTS] 00:05:44.444 --> 00:05:45.411 line:85% position:50% size:33% [DOOR CREAKS] 00:05:45.478 --> 00:05:48.114 line:85% position:50% size:40% [LOUD FOOTSTEPS] 00:05:49.515 --> 00:05:50.283 line:85% position:50% size:23% UH...OC-- 00:05:50.349 --> 00:05:52.585 line:85% position:45% size:48% OCCUPIED. OCCUPIED. 00:05:55.288 --> 00:05:56.422 line:85% position:45% size:30% [SHUDDERING] 00:05:56.489 --> 00:05:59.058 line:85% position:45% size:28% - [ROARING] 00:06:02.095 --> 00:06:03.296 line:85% position:48% size:33% - UH, HELLO?! 00:06:03.362 --> 00:06:04.363 line:85% position:45% size:28% HELLO, 911! 00:06:04.430 --> 00:06:05.364 line:85% position:50% size:20% - [ROAR] 00:06:05.431 --> 00:06:07.366 line:85% position:45% size:50% - I'M IN A BATHROOM! 00:06:08.367 --> 00:06:10.470 line:85% position:50% size:38% [ROARING STOPS] 00:06:10.536 --> 00:06:11.437 line:85% position:50% size:20% - [FART] 00:06:11.504 --> 00:06:12.839 line:85% position:50% size:23% OH, WAIT! 00:06:12.905 --> 00:06:15.441 line:85% position:50% size:23% [ROARING] 00:06:31.157 --> 00:06:33.793 line:85% position:50% size:40% [LOUD FOOTSTEPS] 00:06:40.032 --> 00:06:41.134 line:85% position:43% size:45% - DUMPLESTILTSKIN: 00:06:41.200 --> 00:06:43.035 line:85% position:48% size:73% A CREATURE NOT OF YOUR WORLD, 00:06:43.102 --> 00:06:45.171 line:85% position:45% size:70% BUT A USER OF ITS BATHROOMS. 00:06:45.238 --> 00:06:47.840 line:79% position:43% size:65% WHEN FINISHED, IT LEAVES BEHIND TERROR... 00:06:47.907 --> 00:06:53.112 line:79% position:48% size:73% TERROR AND A BASKETBALL-SIZED CHOCOLATE MUD BABY... 00:06:53.179 --> 00:06:55.414 line:85% position:50% size:58% FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE. 00:06:58.050 --> 00:06:59.852 line:85% position:43% size:25% - OH! OOF! 00:07:00.820 --> 00:07:03.456 line:85% position:45% size:30% - [LAUGHTER] 00:07:05.224 --> 00:07:06.826 line:79% position:50% size:55% - ALL RIGHT, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT-- 00:07:06.893 --> 00:07:09.195 line:85% position:45% size:48% GOOD SWEET [BLEEP]! 00:07:10.029 --> 00:07:13.866 line:79% position:23% size:53% align:start - YOU MUST FIND MY CLIENT NOT GUILTY! 00:07:13.933 --> 00:07:15.468 line:85% position:50% size:58% - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 00:07:15.535 --> 00:07:18.070 line:79% position:50% size:43% YOU HOLD THE FATE OF THIS YOUNG MAN 00:07:18.137 --> 00:07:20.273 line:85% position:50% size:35% IN YOUR HANDS. 00:07:23.176 --> 00:07:23.943 line:85% position:45% size:30% - OK, Y'ALL, 00:07:24.010 --> 00:07:26.445 line:79% position:23% size:55% align:start THE FACTS IN THIS HERE CASE SEEM CLEAR 00:07:26.512 --> 00:07:28.047 line:85% position:50% size:63% AS A NEW FORD WINDSHIELD. 00:07:28.114 --> 00:07:31.551 line:79% position:50% size:68% NOW, THE KID'S BOSS CATCHES HIM STEALING FROM THE TILL. 00:07:31.617 --> 00:07:33.619 line:79% position:20% size:45% align:start WELL, THE KID'S GOTTA SHUT HIM UP. 00:07:33.686 --> 00:07:35.788 line:85% position:48% size:33% - NO! NO! NO! 00:07:35.855 --> 00:07:39.792 line:85% position:50% size:80% - THEN THE KID DITCHES THE BODY. 00:07:39.859 --> 00:07:42.228 line:85% position:43% size:25% [COW MOOS] 00:07:42.295 --> 00:07:43.062 line:79% position:50% size:23% - GUILTY. - GUILTY. 00:07:43.129 --> 00:07:44.397 line:79% position:48% size:73% - HE'S, LIKE, TOTALLY GUILTY. - BARK! 00:07:44.463 --> 00:07:46.632 line:79% position:20% size:53% align:start - SO, LET'S JUST VOTE THIS SUCKER GUILTY 00:07:46.699 --> 00:07:48.000 line:85% position:50% size:40% AND HIT THE BAR! 00:07:48.067 --> 00:07:49.235 line:85% position:50% size:20% YEE-HAW! 00:07:49.302 --> 00:07:50.670 line:79% position:30% size:33% align:start ALL IN FAVOR? - AYE! 00:07:50.736 --> 00:07:51.838 line:85% position:50% size:35% - ALL OPPOSED? 00:07:51.904 --> 00:07:52.505 line:85% position:48% size:15% - NAY. 00:07:52.572 --> 00:07:53.506 line:79% position:30% size:33% align:start - AN OUTRAGE! - BOGUS! 00:07:53.573 --> 00:07:55.741 line:79% position:50% size:60% - THE WITNESS' TESTIMONY WAS TOTALLY UNRELIABLE. 00:07:55.808 --> 00:07:58.511 line:79% position:50% size:50% - ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOUR MOTHER, SISTER, 00:07:58.578 --> 00:08:02.982 line:79% position:50% size:60% COUSIN, AND AUNT ARE ALL THE SAME PERSON? 00:08:03.049 --> 00:08:03.916 line:85% position:43% size:25% - AH, DUH. 00:08:03.983 --> 00:08:06.619 line:79% position:20% size:60% align:start - I BELIEVE THE VICTIM'S MISTRESS KILLED HIM. 00:08:06.686 --> 00:08:09.889 line:79% position:20% size:58% align:start - MS. HERRING, WHAT WAS THE LAST CONVERSATION 00:08:09.956 --> 00:08:11.457 line:85% position:50% size:65% YOU HAD WITH THE DECEASED? 00:08:11.524 --> 00:08:12.625 line:85% position:48% size:73% - I TOLD THAT GREASY MECHANIC 00:08:12.692 --> 00:08:15.027 line:79% position:45% size:70% IF HE WENT BACK TO HIS WIFE, I'D KILL HIM. 00:08:15.094 --> 00:08:17.597 line:79% position:45% size:50% - AND DID HE GO BACK TO HIS WIFE? 00:08:17.663 --> 00:08:18.297 line:85% position:48% size:15% - YES! 00:08:18.364 --> 00:08:19.932 line:79% position:50% size:58% - AND DID YOU KILL HIM? - YE-- 00:08:19.999 --> 00:08:20.967 line:85% position:45% size:30% - OBJECTION! 00:08:21.033 --> 00:08:21.934 line:85% position:43% size:25% RELEVANCE. 00:08:22.001 --> 00:08:22.935 line:85% position:45% size:30% - SUSTAINED. 00:08:23.002 --> 00:08:26.505 line:79% position:50% size:60% - YEAH! THEN THE FIVE-OH PLANT THE DMA EVIDENCE. 00:08:26.572 --> 00:08:27.940 line:85% position:45% size:68% YOU CAN'T TRUST THE POLICE. 00:08:28.007 --> 00:08:31.143 line:79% position:20% size:55% align:start ONE TIME A POLICE TAKE MY SHOESHINE BOX, 00:08:31.210 --> 00:08:32.378 line:85% position:50% size:40% BEAT ME WITH IT. 00:08:32.445 --> 00:08:34.714 line:85% position:50% size:23% MY LORDY! 00:08:34.780 --> 00:08:37.416 line:85% position:50% size:78% WHAT? EVERY BLACK MAN ON THE TV 00:08:37.483 --> 00:08:39.886 line:79% position:50% size:58% GOTS TO BE A POSIMATIVE ROLE MODEL? 00:08:39.952 --> 00:08:44.357 line:79% position:18% size:65% align:start - BUT THE DNA EVIDENCE MATCHED 13 OUT OF 13 SDRs. 00:08:44.423 --> 00:08:47.193 line:85% position:50% size:78% THE DEFENDANT'S CLEARLY GUILTY. 00:08:47.260 --> 00:08:49.695 line:85% position:45% size:68% - UH, YOU'RE A [BLEEP] DOG. 00:08:49.762 --> 00:08:52.899 line:85% position:50% size:80% OK, SO LET'S GO OVER THIS AGAIN. 00:08:54.100 --> 00:08:57.803 line:79% position:20% size:55% align:start AND THAT'S WHY WE MUST FIND THAT YOUNG MAN 00:08:57.870 --> 00:08:59.071 line:85% position:45% size:28% NOT GUILTY. 00:08:59.138 --> 00:09:01.340 line:79% position:50% size:58% - FINE, FINE! HOW DOES EVERYONE VOTE? 00:09:01.407 --> 00:09:03.376 line:79% position:48% size:33% - NOT GUILTY. - NOT GUILTY. 00:09:03.442 --> 00:09:04.176 line:85% position:50% size:23% - [SIGHS] 00:09:04.243 --> 00:09:06.145 line:85% position:45% size:70% - MR. FOREMAN, YOUR VERDICT? 00:09:06.212 --> 00:09:07.213 line:85% position:48% size:33% - NOT GUILTY. 00:09:07.280 --> 00:09:08.014 line:85% position:50% size:35% - [LOUD GASPS] 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:09.715 line:85% position:43% size:65% - JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! 00:09:09.782 --> 00:09:11.884 line:79% position:28% size:43% align:start IT'S MY BELIEF THAT THE MISTRESS 00:09:11.951 --> 00:09:12.718 line:85% position:50% size:60% IS GUILTY OF THIS CRIME. 00:09:12.785 --> 00:09:13.786 line:79% position:23% size:53% align:start - WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT MS. HERRING 00:09:13.853 --> 00:09:16.555 line:79% position:50% size:78% WAS SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT THE WORLD SERIES 00:09:16.622 --> 00:09:18.090 line:85% position:43% size:65% AT THE TIME OF THE MURDER? 00:09:18.157 --> 00:09:19.392 line:85% position:48% size:33% - UH...HA HA. 00:09:19.458 --> 00:09:21.527 line:79% position:20% size:55% align:start - I TOLD YOU, I'D KILL ANY MAN YOU LOVED 00:09:21.594 --> 00:09:22.595 line:85% position:50% size:60% IF YOU WOULDN'T LOVE ME! 00:09:22.662 --> 00:09:24.297 line:85% position:50% size:58% NOW I'LL KILL YOU, TOO! 00:09:24.363 --> 00:09:25.364 line:85% position:50% size:23% - OH, NO! 00:09:25.431 --> 00:09:26.899 line:85% position:48% size:13% - NO! 00:09:26.966 --> 00:09:27.800 line:85% position:45% size:28% SORRY, PAL, 00:09:27.867 --> 00:09:30.770 line:79% position:23% size:55% align:start BUT YOU'RE ONE WRONG I'VE JUST GOTTA RIGHT. 00:09:30.836 --> 00:09:32.638 line:85% position:50% size:38% [BOTH GRUNTING] 00:09:32.705 --> 00:09:35.341 line:85% position:50% size:63% - OH, I WISH I HAD FISTS. 00:09:37.476 --> 00:09:39.211 line:85% position:45% size:10% AGH! 00:09:39.278 --> 00:09:41.113 line:85% position:50% size:20% - UH-OH. 00:09:41.180 --> 00:09:44.383 line:79% position:48% size:75% - JACK BECKETT, YOU'RE CHARGED WITH DOUBLE HOMICIDE. 00:09:44.450 --> 00:09:45.251 line:85% position:50% size:43% HOW DO YOU PLEAD? 00:09:45.318 --> 00:09:46.285 line:85% position:50% size:63% - NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR. 00:09:46.352 --> 00:09:48.187 line:85% position:50% size:58% - THIS IS GONNA BE FUN! 00:09:48.254 --> 00:09:49.388 line:85% position:50% size:20% YEE-HAW! 00:09:49.455 --> 00:09:51.691 line:85% position:50% size:73% - OH, MY GOD! HE'S GOT A GUN! 00:09:51.757 --> 00:09:53.626 line:85% position:50% size:78% - NOBODY LISTENED TO ME BEFORE! 00:09:53.693 --> 00:09:55.594 line:85% position:50% size:35% JACK MUST DIE! 00:09:55.661 --> 00:09:57.863 line:85% position:48% size:33% - [SCREAMING] 00:09:57.930 --> 00:10:02.468 line:79% position:20% size:60% align:start - TUNE IN NEXT TIME WHEN EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY. 00:10:02.535 --> 00:10:03.569 line:85% position:43% size:45% [CHICKEN CLUCKING] 00:10:03.636 --> 00:10:05.938 line:10% position:50% size:68% CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 00:10:06.005 --> 00:10:10.576 line:10% position:18% size:63% align:start CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 00:10:15.982 --> 00:10:16.949 line:85% position:43% size:25% - BA-GAWK! 00:10:17.016 --> 00:10:18.517 line:85% position:50% size:18% - BOCK. 00:10:21.387 --> 00:10:24.023 line:10% position:50% size:40% - STUPID MONKEY.