1 00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:07,974 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 2 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,410 [DRILL] 3 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,053 - IT'S ALIVE! 4 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:38,571 [APPLAUSE] 5 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:39,305 - GREETINGS. 6 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,373 YOU KNOW, FREEDOM OF SPEECH 7 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,276 IS THE MOST VALUABLE RIGHT OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. 8 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:46,045 AND SO, TO HONOR OUR FIRST AMENDMENT, 9 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:49,149 I WILL NOW FART THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. 10 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,117 I RECOMMEND YOU VIDEOTAPE THIS MOMENT 11 00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:54,554 AND WATCH IT AGAIN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY. 12 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,257 [FARTING] 13 00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:58,191 [SQUIRTING] 14 00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,592 HA HA HA! OOPS! 15 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:01,461 I JUST CRAPPED MYSELF. HA HA! 16 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,763 STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS. 17 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,267 - WHOO-HOO! 18 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,935 WHOO-HOO! 19 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,905 - WELL, IT'S YOUR BABY, DOUGLAS! 20 00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:13,039 - AAH! 21 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,942 - OK. THIS IS GONNA HURT... 22 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,377 [CHAIN SAW BUZZING] 23 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,078 A LOT. 24 00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:21,614 EXPERIENCING A TWIST ENDING 25 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,783 AT THE END OF A MOVIE CAN BE FUN. 26 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:24,984 YOU CAN GET IN ON THAT FUN 27 00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:28,488 WITHOUT HAVING TO SIT THROUGH ALL THAT HOLLYWOOD CRAP. 28 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,089 ENJOY. 29 00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,495 [RETCHING] 30 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:38,264 - ARE WE STILL GOING TO DO IT? 31 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:42,402 - TURN TO THE DARK SIDE AND JOIN ME. 32 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,571 - I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU! 33 00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,139 YOU KILLED MY FATHER! 34 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:50,210 - NO, LUKE. I AM YOUR FATHER. 35 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,679 - THAT'S NOT TRUE! 36 00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:53,813 THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! 37 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,550 - AND PRINCESS LEIA IS YOUR SISTER. 38 00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:59,051 - THAT'S NOT TRUE! 39 00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:01,221 THAT'S...IMPROBABLE. 40 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:06,459 - AND THE EMPIRE WILL BE DEFEATED BY EWOKS. 41 00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,527 - THAT'S... 42 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,029 VERY UNLIKELY. 43 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,898 - AND AS A CHILD, 44 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:16,135 I BUILT C-3PO. 45 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,470 - HUH? 46 00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:18,638 - AND THE FORCE? 47 00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:22,141 WELL, THAT'S JUST MICROSCOPIC BACTERIA IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM 48 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,777 CALLED MIDICHLORIANS. 49 00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:28,715 - LOOK, IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, 50 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:30,350 I'M OUT. 51 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:31,851 - OH, MY GOD! 52 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:36,256 ANGELA'S THE KILLER, AND SHE WAS REALLY A BOY! 53 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,390 - OH, MY GOD! 54 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,158 SOMEBODY REMEMBERED THIS MOVIE 55 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:42,695 AND WROTE A COMEDY SKETCH ABOUT IT! 56 00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:44,329 - IS ANYONE THERE? 57 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:47,333 I COME FROM A VILLAGE WHERE WE THINK IT'S 1886. 58 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,702 I'VE BROKEN OUR TABOO ABOUT ENTERING THE FOREST 59 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,804 TO FIND MEDICINE FOR MY FIANCE. 60 00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:52,704 HELLO? 61 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,641 [HONK HONK] 62 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:59,112 THAT--THAT WAS A REALLY WEAK TWIST. 63 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:02,482 - YEAH. SORRY ABOUT THAT, FOLKS. 64 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:03,850 - WASN'T THAT GREAT? 65 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,118 AND AS AN ADDED TWIST, 66 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:09,856 I'M JUST 3 DUCKS IN A MAN COSTUME. 67 00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,792 GOOD NIGHT, FOLKS. 68 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,161 [TIRES SCREECHING] 69 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,299 - OH, THAT WAS CLOSE. 70 00:03:21,466 --> 00:03:23,236 - SHE'S GONNA DO IT. 71 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,674 - PREVIOUSLY ON "TEEN TITANS"... 72 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,884 [BURP] 73 00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,557 - WE WERE CLEARLY OUTMATCHED, TEAM, 74 00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:47,493 SO I'VE ADDED TWO NEW TEAM MEMBERS. 75 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,762 - UH, HUH HUH HUH HUH. - HUH HUH HUH. YEAH! 76 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,965 HUH HUH HUH. YEAH! 77 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,109 ♪ NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA ♪ 78 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:03,910 BATMAN! 79 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,912 HUH HUH HUH. BATMAN. 80 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:06,913 - NICE BELT. 81 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:07,914 - YEAH! HA HA. 82 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,550 HAVE YOU TWO GONE OVER THE NEW MISSION SPECS YET? 83 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,919 - HUH HUH. UH, NO. 84 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,721 - BUT YOUR ASSIGNMENT IS IN THERE. 85 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,422 - HUH HUH HUH! ASS-IGNMENT. 86 00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:20,627 - LISTEN, GUYS. AREN'T YOU SERIOUS ABOUT BEING TITANS? 87 00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:22,362 - UH, NO. 88 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,764 - WE CAN'T DEFEAT THIS CREATURE BY TRADITIONAL MEANS, 89 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:29,802 SO CYBORG WHIPPED UP THESE NUCLEAR-POWERED BATTLE SUITS FOR US. 90 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:32,672 - IF WAS THAT BEAST DUDE, I'D BE A MONKEY, 91 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,907 AND I'D WHIP MY OWN CRAP AT PEOPLE. 92 00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:35,908 - HUH HUH HUH. YEAH. 93 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,945 WHEN HE'S A DOG, I BET HE LICKS HIS OWN NUT SACK. 94 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,080 - HUH HUH HUH! THAT WOULD RULE. 95 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:41,914 - BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD, 96 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,250 DO YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING TO CONTRIBUTE? 97 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,151 - UH, YEAH. 98 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:49,656 I HAVE, LIKE, A QUESTION OR SOMETHING. 99 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,891 THAT CHICK HAS ORANGE BOOBS. 100 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,292 - YEAH. HUH HUH HUH! 101 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,594 - GRRRR! 102 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:55,328 - HA HA HA! 103 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,296 - YOU GUYS NEED TO APOLOGIZE 104 00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:59,232 TO STARFIRE RIGHT NOW. 105 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:02,001 - THAT CHICK'S JUST MAD BECAUSE, LIKE, 106 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,703 GOTH MUSIC SUCKS. 107 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,871 HUH HUH HUH. 108 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:06,639 - HUH HUH HUH! 109 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:07,540 [ALARM BLARING] 110 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,042 - THE PROXIMITY ALARM! 111 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,077 INTO YOUR BATTLE SUITS, EVERYBODY. 112 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,478 YOU TWO, COME WITH ME. 113 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,914 OUR SUITS ARE POWERED BY THIS NUCLEAR GENERATOR, 114 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,216 BUT IT WILL ONLY WORK FOR A SHORT TIME. 115 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,584 YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR MY SIGNAL, 116 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,020 THEN FLIP THE SWITCH TO TURN IT ON. 117 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,689 GOT IT? 118 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,158 GOT IT? 119 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,663 GOOD! DON'T WORRY. WE'LL WIN THIS BATTLE. 120 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,266 WE'RE THE TEEN TITANS. 121 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,105 - I'M HUNGRY. - YEAH. 122 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,810 - BEAVIS, BUTT-HEAD, FLIP THE SWITCH. 123 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:45,645 - NACHOS RULE! - YEAH. 124 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,014 - GUYS. GUYS? 125 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,149 FLIP THE SWITCH. FLIP IT NOW! 126 00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:54,120 - UH, WAS THERE, LIKE, SOMETHING WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO? 127 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,755 - YEAH. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO, UH, 128 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:56,856 TURN THE KNOB OR SOMETHING. 129 00:05:56,923 --> 00:06:00,827 - HUH HUH HUH. "KNOB." HUH HUH. 130 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:02,729 - WHY? WHY DIDN'T YOU-- 131 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,665 - ♪ NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA ♪ 132 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,633 BATMAN! 133 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,135 HUH HUH HUH HUH! 134 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,937 - BATMAN. 135 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,108 - ARF! 136 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:21,147 - FEH! YOU LITTLE BASTARD. 137 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,417 - HUH. 138 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,486 - TODAY MARKS THE 13th ANNIVERSARY 139 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,921 OF THE DEATH OF A TRUE BRITISH HERO. 140 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:30,356 ON THIS DATE IN 1992, 141 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,692 THE GREAT COMEDIC VOICE OF BENNY HILL 142 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:33,960 WAS SILENCED FOREVER. 143 00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:37,797 WE NOW TAKE YOU BACK TO THAT SOMBER DAY. 144 00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:53,780 - OOF! 145 00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,686 [WHISTLING] 146 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,830 [WHISTLING] 147 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:21,407 - SERVED! SERVED! SERVED! SERVED! SERVED! SERVED! 148 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,608 SERVED! SERVED! 149 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:23,643 - AND SO EACH HALLOWEEN, 150 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:26,245 THE GREAT PUMPKIN RISES OUT OF THE PUMPKIN PATCH 151 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:30,716 AND GIVES HALLOWEEN PRESENTS TO ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS. 152 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:31,684 FOR SOME REASON, 153 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:34,287 HE'S NEVER ACTUALLY APPEARED TO ME PERSONALLY. 154 00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,355 BUT THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT. 155 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:40,326 ARISE! ARISE, O GREAT PUMPKIN! 156 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,227 FINALLY! 157 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,497 NOW YOU CAN GIVE ME PRESENTS. 158 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,499 AAH! 159 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,869 - JUST KICK THE BALL, YOU BLOCKHEAD. 160 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,771 - BUT EVERY TIME I TRY, 161 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,139 YOU JUST TAKE THE BALL AWAY. 162 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,275 - THIS TIME I WON'T. COME ON ALREADY! 163 00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:58,611 - MAYBE THIS TIME SHE MEANS IT. 164 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,079 I'M GOING TO DO IT. 165 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,114 I'M GOING TO KICK THE FOOTBALL. 166 00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,749 THIS IS IT! 167 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,384 - AAH! 168 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:08,721 - THAT'S FOR YEARS OF HUMILIATION, BITCH. 169 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,590 - WHAT THE-- 170 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,024 AAH! 171 00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:12,925 - POOR LINUS. 172 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,328 - THAT BLOCKHEAD. EVERYONE'S A BLOCKHEAD. 173 00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:17,630 BLOCKHEADS. BLOCKHEADS. BLOCKHEADS! 174 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:22,101 - WA WAA WA WA WA WAA. WA WAA WAA. 175 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,135 - WHAT DID HE SAY? 176 00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:26,339 - UGH! I NEVER HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT ANY ADULT SAYS. 177 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:30,276 IT'S ALWAYS THAT "WA WA WA" CRAP. 178 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,477 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE 179 00:08:32,544 --> 00:08:35,181 TO BURY WHAT LITTLE THEY FOUND OF LINUS 180 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,316 IN HIS SECURITY BLANKET. 181 00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,784 - THAT STUPID BLANKET. 182 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,320 I KNEW HE WAS NEVER RIGHT IN HIS HEAD. 183 00:08:41,386 --> 00:08:43,556 - [HOWLING] 184 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,658 - OH, MY SWEET BABOO! 185 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,827 I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM! 186 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:50,563 I WON'T LEAVE HIM! I WON'T! 187 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,532 LINUS! LINUS! I CAN'T! 188 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,435 - THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM THE TIME WE GOT LOST IN FRANCE, 189 00:08:56,502 --> 00:09:00,239 OR WHEN WE ALMOST DROWNED DURING THE GREAT RIVER RAFT RACE. 190 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,975 I FEAR JUST HAVING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE 191 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,911 WITH STRONG CHRISTIAN OVERTONES 192 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,646 WON'T SAVE US THIS TIME. 193 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,414 - HOLD ME, SIR. 194 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:13,252 - I SAID "STRONG CHRISTIAN OVERTONES." 195 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,154 I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE, LUCY. 196 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,890 EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD BESIDES YOU AND ME. 197 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:18,624 - [GASP] 198 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:19,492 - I THOUGHT BEING STUCK 199 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:22,161 AS A PRE-PUBESCENT BALD KID FOR 50 YEARS 200 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,030 COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE. 201 00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:24,830 [SIGH] 202 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:25,731 WHAT SHOULD WE DO? 203 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:30,636 - YOU SHOULD LET THE GREAT PUMPKIN EAT YOU. 204 00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:34,040 [ROARING] 205 00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,942 - AUGH! 206 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,816 [PANTING] 207 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,284 - [ROARING] 208 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,486 OOH. 209 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,822 - MEET THE KITE-EATING TREE, 210 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,325 YOU UGLY SON OF A BITCH. 211 00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:54,694 - AAH! 212 00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,265 - IT'S OVER. 213 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,000 IT'S FINALLY OVER. 214 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,268 [SIGH] 215 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,337 REST, MY FRIENDS. 216 00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:05,371 NOW YOU CAN REST. 217 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,808 [THEME FROM "PEANUTS" PLAYING] 218 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:11,844 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 219 00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:16,482 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 220 00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:22,955 [CHICKENS CLUCKING THEME SONG]