1 00:00:04,955 --> 00:00:07,992 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:10,862 --> 00:00:12,127 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 3 00:00:12,127 --> 00:00:13,962 - (GRUNTS) - ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 4 00:00:13,962 --> 00:00:17,967 (GRUNTS) Yeah, that's it. That's the spot. That's good. 5 00:00:17,967 --> 00:00:20,169 - Cheryl tight same spot. - Yeah. 6 00:00:20,169 --> 00:00:23,873 - Only Chunhua can fix. - All right. I hope so. 7 00:00:23,873 --> 00:00:27,442 Cheryl so nice. She's so pretty. 8 00:00:27,442 --> 00:00:30,846 Cheryl too good for you! (LAUGHS) 9 00:00:30,846 --> 00:00:34,583 And Ted Danson. He's handsome and flexible. 10 00:00:34,583 --> 00:00:37,153 - Oh, really? - CHUNHUA: Yes. 11 00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:39,454 Don't be jealous! 12 00:00:39,454 --> 00:00:42,458 You brittle like wood! You are so skinny. 13 00:00:42,458 --> 00:00:44,994 - Why you no eat? - I eat. I eat plenty. 14 00:00:44,994 --> 00:00:46,695 Your skin so dry. 15 00:00:46,695 --> 00:00:48,965 - You drink water? - Yeah, I drink water. 16 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,266 Not enough! 17 00:00:50,266 --> 00:00:52,704 (SPLUTTERS, SCOFFS) This is... 18 00:00:55,172 --> 00:00:57,339 Oh, yeah, that's good. I like that. 19 00:00:57,339 --> 00:00:59,269 - That's nice. - Finish! 20 00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:01,911 - ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ - LARRY DAVID: Huh? That's it? 21 00:01:01,911 --> 00:01:03,179 What about this? 22 00:01:03,179 --> 00:01:04,583 You're done? 23 00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:07,782 You want happy ending? 24 00:01:07,782 --> 00:01:09,418 No, I don't-- (CHUCKLES) Happy end-- 25 00:01:09,418 --> 00:01:10,785 No. You've only done 35 minutes. 26 00:01:10,785 --> 00:01:13,589 - I paid for an hour. - No! No, no, no, no. 27 00:01:13,589 --> 00:01:16,525 - I don't want a happy ending! - No! No, no happy ending! 28 00:01:16,525 --> 00:01:18,294 I don't want a happy ending! I just want an ending! 29 00:01:18,294 --> 00:01:20,429 - No, no, no. I no happy ending! - Are you nuts? 30 00:01:20,429 --> 00:01:22,464 - What are you doing? - You mess with wrong person. 31 00:01:22,464 --> 00:01:24,867 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 32 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,396 (SIGHS) 33 00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:29,708 The woman's out of her mind. That's all I said. "That's it?" 34 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:31,473 She gave me 35 minutes. 35 00:01:31,473 --> 00:01:32,841 You know, and the whole massage she's going... 36 00:01:32,841 --> 00:01:34,376 (IMITATES CHUNHUA) "Oh, you too skinny. 37 00:01:34,376 --> 00:01:36,145 You need to eat. You have bad skin." 38 00:01:36,145 --> 00:01:37,379 So, she's insulting you the whole time-- 39 00:01:37,379 --> 00:01:38,780 She's insulting me the whole time, 40 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,983 and then she threatens me at the end 41 00:01:40,983 --> 00:01:42,051 for something I didn't even do. 42 00:01:42,051 --> 00:01:43,685 - That's scary shit. - LARRY: Scary. 43 00:01:43,685 --> 00:01:45,086 I'm a little nervous. You know, she's... 44 00:01:45,086 --> 00:01:47,123 - she's kind of off her rocker. - JEFF GREENE: You know what? 45 00:01:47,123 --> 00:01:49,192 Cheryl was always talking about her, 46 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,426 but I never used her. 47 00:01:50,426 --> 00:01:51,693 I had a hunch about her. 48 00:01:51,693 --> 00:01:53,728 If you had a hunch, why didn't you say something? 49 00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:56,698 Well, a hunch can be wrong, so I keep my hunches to myself. 50 00:01:56,698 --> 00:01:58,500 LARRY: No. A hunch is something that's shared. 51 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,369 Otherwise, it's just a thought in your head. 52 00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:02,505 A hunch is like a sneeze, gotta let that shit out. 53 00:02:02,505 --> 00:02:04,506 - Exactly. Eleanor Roosevelt... - Yeah? 54 00:02:04,506 --> 00:02:05,907 ...what if she had a hunch about Pearl Harbor? 55 00:02:05,907 --> 00:02:07,509 Is she supposed to keep that to herself, 56 00:02:07,509 --> 00:02:08,744 or should she tell her husband? 57 00:02:08,744 --> 00:02:09,978 (IMITATES ELEANOR ROOSEVELT) "Franklin, 58 00:02:09,978 --> 00:02:12,881 I have a very bad feeling that something awful 59 00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:15,880 is going to happen at Pearl Harbor tomorrow. 60 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,347 You must get the ships out." 61 00:02:17,347 --> 00:02:19,588 Could you imagine if she told Franklin the day after? 62 00:02:19,588 --> 00:02:21,089 (IMITATES ELEANOR) "Franklin, I had a hunch about that." 63 00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:23,292 (IMITATES FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT) "Eleanor, you stupid twat." 64 00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:25,222 (CHUCKLES) "Why didn't you say something?" 65 00:02:25,222 --> 00:02:27,291 - You're rewriting history. - You had no hunch. 66 00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:28,530 No, you didn't have no fucking hunch. Know why? 67 00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:29,999 'Cause your fucking shoulders didn't go up. 68 00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:31,066 Your shoulders didn't move. 69 00:02:31,066 --> 00:02:33,368 And that mannerism's only good for hunches and shit. 70 00:02:33,368 --> 00:02:34,503 See? I had a hunch. 71 00:02:34,503 --> 00:02:36,538 You can't use that shit for, "Fuck you." 72 00:02:36,538 --> 00:02:37,906 Or, you know, "You cheated on me. 73 00:02:37,906 --> 00:02:39,742 You ain't shit. Don't come back here no more." 74 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:41,744 - It's exclusive to the hunch? - LEON BLACK: Fuck yeah, it is. 75 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,012 You don't use that shit nowhere else. 76 00:02:43,012 --> 00:02:45,447 Gentlemen. How's everything tasting over here? 77 00:02:45,447 --> 00:02:47,316 - I'm the owner. - Great salad. 78 00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:48,617 Are you Ollie or Al? 79 00:02:48,617 --> 00:02:51,420 Actually, those are made up deli owner characters. 80 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,688 - My name is Lorenzo. - Oh, okay. 81 00:02:53,688 --> 00:02:54,991 LORENZO: Let me know if you need anything, huh? 82 00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:55,824 - Thank you. - LARRY: Will do. 83 00:02:55,824 --> 00:02:57,593 Fucking berries are fucking delicious. 84 00:02:57,593 --> 00:02:58,793 You know what they say, the darker the berry, 85 00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:00,829 - the sweeter the juice. - What do they say? 86 00:03:00,829 --> 00:03:03,232 Darker the berry, meaning the darker you are, 87 00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:05,134 - the sweeter your juice is. - What? 88 00:03:05,134 --> 00:03:06,968 If a cannibal ate me, that motherfucker would be like, 89 00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:08,937 "Mm! (SMACKS LIPS) Wow, this motherfucker's delicious." 90 00:03:08,937 --> 00:03:11,307 You're saying that cannibals prefer Black people 91 00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:12,875 - to White people? - Fuck yeah, they do. 92 00:03:12,875 --> 00:03:15,644 I think he's got a point, 'cause Dahmer mostly ate 93 00:03:15,644 --> 00:03:17,746 - Black people, did he not? - Yep. He did. 94 00:03:17,746 --> 00:03:19,381 If the motherfucker did, he'd have to add 95 00:03:19,381 --> 00:03:20,716 condiments on you motherfuckers. 96 00:03:20,716 --> 00:03:21,883 - Like, shit... (MUTTERS) - LARRY: Yeah. 97 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:23,685 Yeah, you need condiments for White people. 98 00:03:23,685 --> 00:03:27,022 Hey. Ho-ho-ho-ho. I got some great news. 99 00:03:27,022 --> 00:03:29,658 I got a call from Bruce Springsteen's manager. 100 00:03:29,658 --> 00:03:33,428 Bruce Springsteen is coming to town on his farewell tour, 101 00:03:33,428 --> 00:03:36,431 and he wants to meet you. 102 00:03:36,431 --> 00:03:38,434 - He wants to meet me? - Yeah. 103 00:03:38,434 --> 00:03:39,903 - What? - JEFF: Yeah. 104 00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:40,969 Wow. 105 00:03:40,969 --> 00:03:43,572 He was really moved by you taking on that voter law. 106 00:03:43,572 --> 00:03:44,740 (CHUCKLES) Get the hell out of here. 107 00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:45,941 - Are you good with that? - LARRY: Yeah. 108 00:03:45,941 --> 00:03:48,211 Great. It's exciting. I'll call his manager. 109 00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:49,444 - (CHUCKLES) - Fantastic. 110 00:03:49,444 --> 00:03:53,186 - The Boss. - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 111 00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:13,469 LARRY: Hey, what if I walked like this? 112 00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:14,603 You start walking like that, man, 113 00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:16,037 they gotta give you your own fucking lane. 114 00:04:16,037 --> 00:04:17,606 That way it won't throw regular motherfuckers off. You know? 115 00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:19,475 - This is, like, good exercise. - Yeah. 116 00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:21,610 - And I'm making progress. - I like that shit. 117 00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:22,811 - Huh? - You're moving along, 118 00:04:22,811 --> 00:04:24,280 people see it, everybody'll start doing it. 119 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,580 It could catch on. 120 00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,183 And then they'll add you to the evolution of man chart. 121 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,817 - (LAUGHS) - Like motherfuckers who walk normal, 122 00:04:28,817 --> 00:04:30,119 - and then all of a sudden, at the end... - Yeah. 123 00:04:30,119 --> 00:04:31,820 ...like modern day motherfuckers walk like this. 124 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:33,589 - (LAUGHS) Right. - Next thing you know. You see? 125 00:04:33,589 --> 00:04:34,958 You go down in history. (LAUGHS) 126 00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:37,058 Shit. Let's get the fuck out of here. 127 00:04:37,058 --> 00:04:39,195 - Fuck you doing, man? - Trying to get the zipper up. 128 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,797 - (CAR DOOR SHUTS) - LEON: Do that shit in the car, man. 129 00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:42,431 It's easier to do it standing. 130 00:04:42,431 --> 00:04:44,032 - You gotta jiggle it. - Yeah, I'm jiggling. 131 00:04:44,032 --> 00:04:46,669 - You ain't jiggling right. - What is it with these zippers? 132 00:04:46,669 --> 00:04:49,638 - You're not a good jiggler. - (LAUGHS) Larry. 133 00:04:49,638 --> 00:04:51,307 - Hey, Les. - How's it going? 134 00:04:51,307 --> 00:04:54,010 Eh, you know, I can't get this zipper up here, but whatever. 135 00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,045 I haven't seen you since Young Larry. 136 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,647 Yeah. Oh, hey, Leon, this is Les McCrabb. 137 00:04:58,647 --> 00:05:01,450 He directed two of the Young Larry episodes. 138 00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:02,818 - My man. - LES MCCRABB: Anyway, 139 00:05:02,818 --> 00:05:04,120 I just wanna tell you that my episodes 140 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,388 have had tremendous feedback. 141 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,156 People have been saying they don't look like 142 00:05:07,156 --> 00:05:08,457 any of the other episodes. 143 00:05:08,457 --> 00:05:10,325 Yeah, they did have a-- a-- 144 00:05:10,325 --> 00:05:11,460 a distinctive look. 145 00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:13,695 I only ended up doing the two episodes, 146 00:05:13,695 --> 00:05:17,232 - but I'd love to do some more. - Oh. Um, well-- 147 00:05:17,232 --> 00:05:19,668 Between you and I, I think I'm gonna be busy anyway. 148 00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:22,905 I'm in talks about this, um, Waze app feature. 149 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,674 A movie, uh, based on the Waze app? 150 00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,042 - LES: Yeah. - Okay. 151 00:05:26,042 --> 00:05:28,211 - Ron Howard's people. - LARRY: Uh-huh. 152 00:05:28,211 --> 00:05:29,478 A guy called Jeff Donat. 153 00:05:29,478 --> 00:05:31,380 - Jeff Donat. - Right. Jeff Donat. 154 00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,481 - Jeff Donat. - LES: Yes, 155 00:05:32,481 --> 00:05:33,782 he's in charge of the whole thing. 156 00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:35,251 - Do you know him? - Don't think so. No. 157 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:38,654 I'm told he's way up there. He works with Ken Puffin. 158 00:05:38,654 --> 00:05:40,490 - Nice. - Sounds like a good idea? 159 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:41,723 No. Not really. 160 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:42,891 I didn't really wanna talk about that. 161 00:05:42,891 --> 00:05:45,831 What I do wanna talk about is my manuscript. 162 00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:48,531 Hang A Lantern On It. 163 00:05:48,531 --> 00:05:49,665 - LES: Hang A Lantern On It. - Yes. 164 00:05:49,665 --> 00:05:52,368 - Did you like it? - Oh, uh, I loved it. 165 00:05:52,368 --> 00:05:53,770 Which bit did you like the best? 166 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,371 Yeah, I-- I mean, there were-- 167 00:05:55,371 --> 00:05:56,638 Oh, my God, there's so many. 168 00:05:56,638 --> 00:05:59,341 We need to talk about it because I need your opinions 169 00:05:59,341 --> 00:06:00,676 before it goes to the publishers. 170 00:06:00,676 --> 00:06:02,278 So, it'd be great if you could give me 171 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,446 any ideas that you have. 172 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,914 Yeah, well, no, we'll discuss the book. 173 00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:06,149 It's great. (CHUCKLES) It really is. 174 00:06:06,149 --> 00:06:08,245 Well, we could now. I mean, there's a seat here. 175 00:06:08,245 --> 00:06:09,585 You know what? I can't do it now. 176 00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:12,989 I-- I-- You know, um, I gotta take my friend. 177 00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:14,690 He's getting a, uh, shingles vaccine. 178 00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:17,460 - We're kind of late. So... - Does he have shingles? 179 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,960 No, no, it's to prevent the shingles. 180 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,197 It's just recommended. You should get one too. 181 00:06:21,197 --> 00:06:24,633 Well, you should get one. You know what shingles means? 182 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:25,835 - It's herpes. - LARRY: Oh! 183 00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,397 - What the fuck? - Okay. Yeah. 184 00:06:27,397 --> 00:06:28,638 And you've been sat in the car with him? 185 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,806 He doesn't have it. 186 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,340 I wouldn't get back in that car. 187 00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:32,508 Wait a fucking minute. 188 00:06:32,508 --> 00:06:34,477 - It can kill men your age. - Food for thought. 189 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,379 Thing is, Larry, time is of the essence 190 00:06:36,379 --> 00:06:37,947 with this book. I'm about to go away, 191 00:06:37,947 --> 00:06:40,310 and where I'm going, there's no mobile phone, 192 00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:41,583 so I'll be off the grid, as they say. 193 00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:43,347 - Oh. Where are you going? - A yoga retreat. 194 00:06:43,347 --> 00:06:45,420 I plan to get a complete clear out. 195 00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:46,690 Have you had a complete clear out? 196 00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:47,823 No. What is a clear out? 197 00:06:47,823 --> 00:06:49,592 Let's just say it's a very delicate matter 198 00:06:49,592 --> 00:06:52,127 where nothing is left to the imagination. 199 00:06:52,127 --> 00:06:53,262 I'm imagining. 200 00:06:53,262 --> 00:06:55,832 There's an old saying at home, "Every hole is a goal." 201 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:56,832 Mm. 202 00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:58,334 Do you want a hand with this zipper? 203 00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,468 - Oh. - LES: Hold this. 204 00:06:59,468 --> 00:07:01,570 What? Uh, you don't really have to. 205 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:02,871 - No, I don't mind at all. - Les. Uh, Les. 206 00:07:02,871 --> 00:07:04,540 - You gotta jiggle that shit. - There we go. 207 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:05,807 - Oh. Oh, wow. - (CHUCKLES) Whoa. 208 00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:07,842 - (CHUCKLES) Hey! Look at that. - There we are. Yeah. 209 00:07:07,842 --> 00:07:10,179 - Good job there, Les. Yeah. - Look. Don't forget to call me. 210 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,447 - I'm only here for a week. - Motherfucker. 211 00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:13,616 Absolutely. I'll call you. 212 00:07:13,616 --> 00:07:14,984 LEON: Hey, go fuck yourself, Crabby. Jeez. 213 00:07:14,984 --> 00:07:16,652 Oh, my God. That's the last guy in the world 214 00:07:16,652 --> 00:07:18,487 - I wanted to run into. - What was that, man? 215 00:07:18,487 --> 00:07:20,522 He's the worst director we ever had. 216 00:07:20,522 --> 00:07:21,757 I'd never hire him again. 217 00:07:21,757 --> 00:07:23,320 - You read his book? - No, I didn't read his book. 218 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,860 But you know what? Now I have to. 219 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,762 If you weren't spending so much time on the zipper, 220 00:07:26,762 --> 00:07:28,325 we would've been fucking out of here by now. 221 00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,431 It's true. The zipper delayed me. 222 00:07:29,431 --> 00:07:31,333 We would've been gone. I never would've run into him. 223 00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,502 And being feeble didn't allow you 224 00:07:33,502 --> 00:07:35,771 to fucking get that zipper back on track. 225 00:07:35,771 --> 00:07:36,872 Wait... Wait a second. Wait a second. 226 00:07:36,872 --> 00:07:38,674 So you're saying that I couldn't get 227 00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:41,076 that zipper up because I'm enfeebled? 228 00:07:41,076 --> 00:07:43,045 Feeble motherfuckers don't even know they fucking feeble. 229 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,681 - Okay, you know what? - LEON: Hmm? 230 00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:45,815 When we get back to the house, 231 00:07:45,815 --> 00:07:47,149 you're gonna put this sweater on. 232 00:07:47,149 --> 00:07:48,784 I wanna see you put that zipper up. 233 00:07:48,784 --> 00:07:50,052 I'll zip it up. You know how many times 234 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,620 I've had to throw my pants on real quick? 235 00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:53,756 - Bullshit. - And the lady's husband shows up 236 00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:54,856 or her boyfriend shows up, 237 00:07:54,856 --> 00:07:55,925 I gotta put that motherfucker on quick. 238 00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:57,754 I never derail. You got zipper karma. 239 00:07:57,754 --> 00:08:00,329 You fuck with the zipper, and the zipper fuck with you. 240 00:08:00,329 --> 00:08:03,032 LARRY: Ah, can't believe I gotta read that book now. 241 00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:06,939 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 242 00:08:08,039 --> 00:08:09,138 - Oh, okay. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 243 00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:10,572 You must be Larry's new lawyer, huh? 244 00:08:10,572 --> 00:08:12,269 Mm-hmm. I'm Sibby Sanders. 245 00:08:12,269 --> 00:08:13,742 Hey, Sibby. Good to meet you. 246 00:08:13,742 --> 00:08:16,512 - Yeah. My name's Leon Black. - Hi, Leon. 247 00:08:16,512 --> 00:08:17,747 I like that lipstick you got on. 248 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,848 - Thank you. - LEON: Yeah. 249 00:08:18,848 --> 00:08:20,750 That shit's beautiful on your mouth. 250 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,618 - Hmm. - Mm. What's it called? 251 00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:25,154 - It's called, "Don't go there." - Okay. 252 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,989 - Okay. I see what's up. - SIBBY SANDERS: Mm-hmm. 253 00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,591 (LEON CHUCKLES) You need anything? 254 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,959 - SIBBY: No, I'm good. Thank you. - LEON: Yeah. 255 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,027 Let me ask you a question. 256 00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,361 In that bungalow I got back there, 257 00:08:32,361 --> 00:08:35,197 I had a lot of hit and runs. You know what I'm saying? 258 00:08:35,197 --> 00:08:36,999 So, if you ever wanna get in an accident, 259 00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:40,837 that could be, uh, T-boned, sideswiped, head on, 260 00:08:40,837 --> 00:08:42,939 or rear ended. You feel me? 261 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,740 - Mm-hmm. - (LEON CHUCKLES) 262 00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:48,638 Well, look at you. You look great. 263 00:08:48,638 --> 00:08:50,213 (CHUCKLES) Really? It's not me. It's just, uh-- 264 00:08:50,213 --> 00:08:52,381 - SIBBY: I love it. - The jury's not gonna buy this. 265 00:08:52,381 --> 00:08:54,883 - SIBBY: It's perfect. - They're gonna see through this act. 266 00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:56,351 - I feel like a phony. - How does he look? 267 00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:58,820 Like a mortician. Like you 'bout to bury a motherfucker. 268 00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:01,157 - Don't listen to him, Larry. - So you guys have met? 269 00:09:01,157 --> 00:09:02,825 You ever have hot chocolate in the house again, 270 00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:04,226 you let me know. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 271 00:09:04,226 --> 00:09:06,328 We got a little pending hit and run case we're working on. 272 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,364 - You know? (CLEARS THROAT) - Okay. Get the fuck out of here. 273 00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:10,060 - Get lost. - See you later. 274 00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:11,133 He lives here? 275 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,702 Yeah. I'm so sorry. But I don't know what he said, 276 00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:13,903 but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. 277 00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:15,338 I'm used to it. It's okay. 278 00:09:15,338 --> 00:09:18,641 So, the trial is in a few weeks, and it's gonna be more about you 279 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,509 and how you're perceived than the facts. 280 00:09:20,509 --> 00:09:22,645 The facts are indisputable. You gave her the water. 281 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,013 So it's gonna come down to the jury saying, 282 00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:25,949 "Do we like Larry or do we not like Larry?" 283 00:09:25,949 --> 00:09:27,850 Well, if it's coming down to that... 284 00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:29,551 - Mm-hmm. - ...it's no contest. 285 00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:30,686 - Okay? - That's right. 286 00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:32,321 - (DOORBELL RINGING) - Not in that suit. 287 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:35,424 - LARRY: Leon, will you get that? - LEON: I got it! 288 00:09:35,424 --> 00:09:36,992 And in terms of being likable, 289 00:09:36,992 --> 00:09:38,795 you know what my mother used to say? 290 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:39,829 "What's not to like?" 291 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,597 Larry, did you ask my masseuse 292 00:09:42,597 --> 00:09:44,233 - for a hand job? - LARRY: What? 293 00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:45,100 Oh, shit. 294 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:47,136 - LARRY: No! - She's not a sex worker. 295 00:09:47,136 --> 00:09:48,670 She's a masseuse. She's a professional woman. 296 00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,907 - Never, never did that. No. - Larry. 297 00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:53,008 - Is this true? - I didn't do that, okay? 298 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:54,276 - She misinter-- - CHERYL HINES: It's so disrespectful. 299 00:09:54,276 --> 00:09:56,177 I didn't do that! Cheryl, she misinter-- 300 00:09:56,177 --> 00:09:58,047 - It's bullshit. This is-- - Hey, Larry. Don't talk to her like that. 301 00:09:58,047 --> 00:09:59,148 That's a woman right there. 302 00:09:59,148 --> 00:10:00,216 - No, that's not-- - Thank you. 303 00:10:00,216 --> 00:10:01,616 That's my ex-wife. That's not a woman. 304 00:10:01,616 --> 00:10:03,152 - Yeah. - By the way, I'm Cheryl. 305 00:10:03,152 --> 00:10:04,854 Sibby Sanders. I'm his lawyer. 306 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,088 - Oh. Good luck. - SIBBY: Mm-hmm. 307 00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:08,591 This whole thing's a misunderstanding. Okay? 308 00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:12,495 She gave me a massage, and then she stopped after 35 minutes, 309 00:10:12,495 --> 00:10:16,032 and I went, "That's it?" And she misinterpreted it. 310 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,834 True or not true, this is an ugly accusation 311 00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,903 at the worst possible time. You gotta fix this. 312 00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:23,438 You gotta handle this before the trial. 313 00:10:23,438 --> 00:10:25,144 She is very upset, Larry. 314 00:10:26,311 --> 00:10:27,804 - (SIGHS) - Maybe I should go over there 315 00:10:27,804 --> 00:10:29,979 and talk to her and make sure she's even qualified 316 00:10:29,979 --> 00:10:31,447 to be giving hand jobs to people. 317 00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:33,352 I don't think that's necessary. 318 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,685 Does she like Bruce Springsteen? 319 00:10:36,685 --> 00:10:39,021 I-- Well-- Who doesn't like Bruce Springsteen? (CHUCKLES) 320 00:10:39,021 --> 00:10:40,523 - I mean, I can ask her. - LARRY: Okay. All right. 321 00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:41,858 I'm seeing him tomorrow. 322 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,759 I could introduce her to him, maybe. 323 00:10:43,759 --> 00:10:45,722 Why are you seeing Bruce Springsteen? 324 00:10:45,722 --> 00:10:48,330 Eh, he wants to meet me because of, uh, Atlanta. 325 00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:50,866 So you're gonna introduce her to Bruce? 326 00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,201 You know, I'll try. 327 00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:54,369 Wow, that would be big. That would be nice. 328 00:10:54,369 --> 00:10:57,573 - That would be really nice. - And hopefully that'll fix it. 329 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:58,835 And if Chunhua's gon' be there, 330 00:10:58,835 --> 00:11:01,911 then maybe Bruce Springsteen would like a hand job. 331 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,283 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 332 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:20,233 Oh, my God. 333 00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:24,999 He changed his rating from a C to an A. 334 00:11:24,999 --> 00:11:26,402 - You're kidding me. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 335 00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:27,436 And you saw him do it? 336 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,838 - I saw him do it. - He should've said B. 337 00:11:29,838 --> 00:11:31,973 If he said B, it's not that far from A. 338 00:11:31,973 --> 00:11:34,110 - You'd eat in a B? - A B? Yeah, I'd eat at a B. 339 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,611 Springsteen eats at a B. 340 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,046 - (LAUGHS) - I'm shocked. 341 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:38,882 I gotta tell you, I'm completely shocked. 342 00:11:38,882 --> 00:11:39,982 - Well, B's not that bad. - LARRY: Yeah. 343 00:11:39,982 --> 00:11:41,750 I've eaten at a thousand and one Bs. 344 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,753 LARRY: I mean, I'm eating here. I don't even know what this is. 345 00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:45,087 What's the rating on this dump? 346 00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:47,356 Bruce, my house is an A-plus. Trust me. 347 00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:49,225 - You know what I'm thinking? - Hmm? 348 00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:50,893 I'm thinking I should call the health department 349 00:11:50,893 --> 00:11:53,797 - on this restaurant. - No, don't get involved. 350 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:54,830 Why? Is that squealing? 351 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:55,931 I don't even think that's squealing. 352 00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:57,801 I don't know if it's full-tilt squealing, 353 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,468 but it's... it's squealish. 354 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,970 You could be eating in that restaurant, 355 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,907 getting sick, and dying because it's a C. 356 00:12:03,907 --> 00:12:04,941 I could've saved your life. 357 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,308 I know one thing about Larry David. 358 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,878 Larry David is a man that gets involved. 359 00:12:08,878 --> 00:12:10,512 Thank you, Boss. May I call you Boss? 360 00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:11,880 - BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Yeah. Sure, sure. - Eh. 361 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,216 Hey, the thing in Georgia, the balls it took 362 00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:16,018 to put yourself in that situation. 363 00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:18,087 I told myself, "I wanna meet Larry David. 364 00:12:18,087 --> 00:12:20,155 - This guy is a hero of mine." - Thank you. 365 00:12:20,155 --> 00:12:21,423 SUSIE GREENE: Now, you know, he knew the woman. 366 00:12:21,423 --> 00:12:23,727 It didn't take a whole lot of balls, really. 367 00:12:23,727 --> 00:12:25,060 The woman in Atlanta? 368 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,823 - SUSIE: Yeah. He knew her. - That you gave the water to? 369 00:12:26,823 --> 00:12:27,997 Why don't you mind your own fucking business? 370 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,598 - Who cares? - SUSIE: I'm just saying. 371 00:12:29,598 --> 00:12:31,166 - It's just a fact. - JEFF: Talk about squealing. 372 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,602 I still know I'm getting arrested. 373 00:12:32,602 --> 00:12:33,402 I gave her the water. 374 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:34,803 You knew you were gonna be arrested? 375 00:12:34,803 --> 00:12:36,438 - Well, I knew it was against the law. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 376 00:12:36,438 --> 00:12:38,477 - Yeah. - JEFF: And you didn't care. 377 00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:40,977 (SIGHS) Les McCrabb. 378 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,145 This guy sent me a manuscript of his book. 379 00:12:43,145 --> 00:12:45,582 He asked me if I read it. I said I did, I loved it, 380 00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:46,776 and now, he's calling me 381 00:12:46,776 --> 00:12:48,450 to have an in-depth conversation about it. 382 00:12:48,450 --> 00:12:50,686 (LAUGHS) Same thing happened to me. 383 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:54,623 A musician gave me a demo of a band that he liked 384 00:12:54,623 --> 00:12:55,857 and thought could go somewhere. 385 00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:58,261 I get the tape. I put it on for two seconds, I took it off. 386 00:12:58,261 --> 00:13:00,028 - I never listened to the rest of it. - Who was this? 387 00:13:00,028 --> 00:13:01,463 I don't wanna say. You know, I mean, we're friends. 388 00:13:01,463 --> 00:13:02,831 - LARRY: Who was it? - No, we're friends. I don't wanna... 389 00:13:02,831 --> 00:13:04,667 - You can tell me. Boss, come on. - BRUCE: I don't wanna say. 390 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:06,803 - LARRY: Come on. Come on, Boss. - (HESITATES) It was Don Henley. 391 00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:08,271 - Don Henley. - BRUCE: And now, 392 00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:11,006 I'm self-conscious if I get a phone call from him 393 00:13:11,006 --> 00:13:12,041 or if I see him somewhere. 394 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,577 Sure, yeah. Yeah. I would avoid him 395 00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:14,643 for the rest of my life. 396 00:13:14,643 --> 00:13:17,146 That's... That's the situation you've got yourself 397 00:13:17,146 --> 00:13:18,613 - into with Mr. McCrabb... - Yeah. Yeah. 398 00:13:18,613 --> 00:13:20,683 - ...or whatever his name is. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Les McCrabb. 399 00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:23,088 - Yeah. - That is great news. 400 00:13:23,688 --> 00:13:25,421 God. Farewell tour 401 00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:27,724 - completely sold out. - (LAUGHS) 402 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,925 KEN MORRIS: Isn't that awesome? 403 00:13:28,925 --> 00:13:29,959 - Hey. - Congratulations. 404 00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:30,926 - Thank you. Thank you. - That's great. 405 00:13:30,926 --> 00:13:32,061 - Yeah. - Thank you very much. 406 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,066 Larry, good to see you again. 407 00:13:34,499 --> 00:13:35,364 Again? 408 00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:36,431 I'm sorry. I do this all the time. 409 00:13:36,431 --> 00:13:38,734 I forget that I haven't told people. 410 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:42,237 It's been like 20, 25 years. I used to work at Universal 411 00:13:42,237 --> 00:13:46,039 when you were at Seinfeld, and, uh, I used to be Kendra. 412 00:13:46,945 --> 00:13:49,512 And now, I'm Ken. Remember Kendra? 413 00:13:49,512 --> 00:13:50,583 Mor... 414 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:52,585 Mor... 415 00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:54,283 Kendra Morris? 416 00:13:54,283 --> 00:13:56,222 (CHUCKLES) Kendra Morris. Yeah. 417 00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,054 Hey. Oh. Wow. 418 00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:00,489 I don't know if you guys know this, 419 00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:03,358 - but Larry and I used to hook up. - Eh. (CHUCKLES) 420 00:14:03,358 --> 00:14:04,959 KEN: Let's just say it. Let's just say it. 421 00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:07,062 - LARRY: Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - It's no big deal. It's no big deal. 422 00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:08,632 Sure. When you were Kendra. Yeah. 423 00:14:08,632 --> 00:14:09,531 We had some great times. 424 00:14:09,531 --> 00:14:11,633 Yeah. Yeah. Good times. Good times. 425 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,536 It's crazy you guys haven't seen each other in so long. 426 00:14:14,536 --> 00:14:16,972 Wait a second. Wait a second. That... That's my water. 427 00:14:16,972 --> 00:14:19,342 - I don't think so. - I'm 100 percent positive 428 00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,443 that's mine. I-- You know, I follow my water 429 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,112 like it's a three-card monte game. 430 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,980 I put my water down 431 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:26,282 where I can comfortably reach it. 432 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,684 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as you can see, this is-- 433 00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:31,054 It's within my hash marks. 434 00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:32,521 It's in your hash marks? 435 00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,324 - It's within my hash marks. - All right, got it. 436 00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:36,392 - This one's fine. - Yeah. 437 00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:37,994 - I'm fine. - Yeah. That's... 438 00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:39,494 It's so good to see you, Larry. 439 00:14:39,494 --> 00:14:42,692 It is crazy how long it's been since we've seen each other. 440 00:14:42,692 --> 00:14:43,598 - LARRY: Yeah. - You look great. 441 00:14:43,598 --> 00:14:45,969 - Oh, that's so nice. - Still a sexy beast. 442 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,436 - (LAUGHS) - Look at you. Look at you. 443 00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:49,105 - Doesn't he look great, you guys? - Yeah. 444 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:51,808 You-- You've changed, uh, quite a lot. 445 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,169 - KEN: Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 446 00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:55,277 Some people say that I'm as hot as a man as I was a woman. 447 00:14:55,277 --> 00:14:56,278 - Uh. - KEN: So... 448 00:14:56,278 --> 00:14:57,812 - Eh... - KEN: This guy. 449 00:14:57,812 --> 00:15:00,016 We had this little thing. I don't know what it was. 450 00:15:00,016 --> 00:15:01,450 Larry would come over to my place-- 451 00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:04,181 You know, nobody's really interested in reminiscing 452 00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:06,956 and going over this stuff. It's boring, really. You know. 453 00:15:06,956 --> 00:15:08,291 - It's not boring. - I am. I'm interested. 454 00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:09,691 (CHUCKLES) I wanna hear a little more about this. 455 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,327 KEN: Do you remember this? You'd come over, 456 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:15,364 and every time we were intimate, we would have sex on the floor. 457 00:15:15,364 --> 00:15:16,465 - (GROANS) - On the floor? 458 00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:17,700 - KEN: Yeah. - I'll tell you one thing. 459 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:18,800 (SPLUTTERS) Sorry. 460 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,270 I didn't make you out for a floor fucker. (CHUCKLES) 461 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,206 Why'd you wanna have sex on the floor, Larr? 462 00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:24,773 Because if you have sex on the floor, 463 00:15:24,773 --> 00:15:26,775 nobody wants to hang out on the floor afterwards, 464 00:15:26,775 --> 00:15:29,111 so you can, you know, put your coat on and go home. 465 00:15:29,111 --> 00:15:31,047 So, you don't have to bond or, you know, 466 00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,982 talk or cuddle afterwards, yeah. 467 00:15:32,982 --> 00:15:34,250 LARRY: All right, so what? 468 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,185 Who wants to talk to somebody you've had sex with? 469 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,520 I'm sure there was cuddling before, though. 470 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,223 Oh, yeah, when Larry wanted something, 471 00:15:40,223 --> 00:15:42,624 Larry was real cuddly. Weren't you, Larry? 472 00:15:42,624 --> 00:15:44,860 And then, uh, afterwards, nah, not so much. 473 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,930 It's a small world, Larry. You and Ken sleeping together? 474 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:50,266 No. No. No. 475 00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:53,167 I slept with Kendra... 476 00:15:54,005 --> 00:15:54,970 not Ken. 477 00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:57,640 - Kendra is Ken. - Kendra is not Ken. 478 00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,976 - No, Kendra's Ken. - Kendra's not Ken. 479 00:15:59,976 --> 00:16:02,778 - Kendra's Ken. - I am Ken. 480 00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:04,847 You had sex with me. 481 00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:06,515 Ken is Kendra. Kendra is Ken. 482 00:16:06,515 --> 00:16:10,186 Ken is Ken, Kendra is Kendra, 483 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,688 and never the twain shall meet. 484 00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:14,290 Oh, we've met. 485 00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:16,762 I'm Ken, and we banged it out. 486 00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:20,462 Hey, this was fun. 487 00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:21,930 I'm glad when I came out here 488 00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:23,999 - I got a chance to say hello. Time to hit it? - KEN: Yeah. 489 00:16:23,999 --> 00:16:25,835 - Yeah. Let's get going. - BRUCE: Think we're gonna hit it. 'Kay. 490 00:16:25,835 --> 00:16:26,702 - Nice to meet you all. - Yeah. 491 00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:28,404 - Nice to meet you. - LARRY: Nice. Yeah. 492 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,072 - See you, Larry. - LARRY: Good to see you again. 493 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,373 SUSIE: Wait. You're leaving already? 494 00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:32,774 We gotta go. I-- We got a thing. 495 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,576 - I'm sorry. - SUSIE: We had dessert and everything. 496 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,412 - JEFF: All right, thanks for coming by. - LARRY: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 497 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,746 - Pleasure. - I promise you. 498 00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:40,049 - SUSIE: We have more food. - I will never mention this 499 00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:42,217 - again, ever. - SUSIE: Can I help you? 500 00:16:42,217 --> 00:16:44,053 Oh, I'm Chunhua for Larry. 501 00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:45,354 - LARRY: Yeah. Yeah. - For Larry? 502 00:16:45,354 --> 00:16:47,523 This is, uh-- This is Bruce. This is Chunhua. 503 00:16:47,523 --> 00:16:51,160 - BRUCE: Oh, hi. - (GASPS, GIGGLES) 504 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,228 - SUSIE: Bye. - LARRY: Yeah. 505 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:55,131 - BRUCE: Bye-bye. - What is that, Larry? 506 00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:57,133 - What do you mean? - That is not introduction. 507 00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:58,467 That was an introduction. I introduced him. 508 00:16:58,467 --> 00:17:00,802 I said, Bruce, this is Chunhua. He said hello. 509 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:04,040 But no handshake, no talk, not even picture! 510 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,207 I never said anything about a picture. 511 00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:07,042 I said I'd introduce you. I introduced you. 512 00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:09,178 No introduction! You fail! You fail! 513 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:10,679 - LARRY: I didn't fail! - You have nice house. 514 00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:13,110 I didn't-- Was that not an introduction? 515 00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:14,983 - (DOOR SLAMMING) - It was not a good introduction. 516 00:17:14,983 --> 00:17:17,253 - LARRY: It was an introduction. - You bringing these crazy fucking people 517 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,088 into my house? Who the hell was she? 518 00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:20,990 Oh, well, she's a ma-- masseuse. 519 00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,058 You know what? Get the fuck out. 520 00:17:22,058 --> 00:17:23,325 You make Bruce leave early. 521 00:17:23,325 --> 00:17:24,927 You bring some crazy broad in here. 522 00:17:24,927 --> 00:17:26,628 - Just go. I've had it with you today. - Fine. Fine. 523 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:29,431 - I don't need to stay anymore. - SUSIE: No, you don't. 524 00:17:29,431 --> 00:17:30,799 - What are you doing? - I gotta zip up 525 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,102 - before I go out. - What are you, six years old? 526 00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:34,237 You can't do your fucking zipper? 527 00:17:34,237 --> 00:17:35,708 All right, I'm going! 528 00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:38,407 Oh, hey. Got it. 529 00:17:38,407 --> 00:17:41,043 - SUSIE: Good boy. - LARRY: Drop dead. 530 00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:44,817 {\an8}- ♪ ("SYMPHONY NO. 5" BY BEETHOVEN PLAYING) ♪ - ( COUGHS, SNIFFS) 531 00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:51,524 (COUGHS) 532 00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:04,333 - (SIGHS) - (CELL PHONE RINGING) 533 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,135 - Hey. - I have COVID. 534 00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:07,536 - You do? - LARRY: Yeah. 535 00:18:07,536 --> 00:18:09,705 I had a little sore throat, so I figured I'd take a test. 536 00:18:09,705 --> 00:18:11,374 - JEFF: What'd it say? - Positive. 537 00:18:11,374 --> 00:18:12,708 - Do you have two red lines? - LARRY: Yes. 538 00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:15,177 It shows the two red lines. Two red lines. 539 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,878 I fucking hate the two red lines. 540 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:19,243 Anyway, you better take a test, you and Susie. 541 00:18:19,243 --> 00:18:22,384 We will. Hey, by the way, I was about to call you. 542 00:18:22,384 --> 00:18:25,791 - Turn on channel five, KTLA. - LARRY: Okay. Hold on. 543 00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,691 Sad news for Southland music lovers. 544 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,662 Bruce Springsteen has been diagnosed with COVID. 545 00:18:32,662 --> 00:18:33,495 What the fuck? 546 00:18:33,495 --> 00:18:34,730 RICK CHAMBERS: He is symptomatic, 547 00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,832 which means he's had to cancel the final show 548 00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:39,301 of his farewell tour that was set to take place 549 00:18:39,301 --> 00:18:41,503 right here in Los Angeles. What a shame... 550 00:18:41,503 --> 00:18:44,340 Maybe I was wrong about whose glass was whose? 551 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,408 - JEFF: Do you think? - Get better soon, Boss. 552 00:18:46,408 --> 00:18:47,876 MAN: (OVER TV) Thirty-six hours of steady rainfall... 553 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,745 - ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (COUGHS) 554 00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:52,214 Yeah, I'm just calling people I've been in contact with. 555 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,349 So, you know, take a test. 556 00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,012 Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm quarantining. 557 00:18:55,012 --> 00:18:56,485 No, the-- It's very disappointing, 558 00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:58,087 because I'd gone years without getting it. 559 00:18:58,087 --> 00:18:59,388 I felt really special. 560 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,357 Now, I'm just like-- You know, I'm like everybody else. 561 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,525 - (SIGHS) - It's too bad 562 00:19:02,525 --> 00:19:04,193 I didn't have more social obligations. 563 00:19:04,193 --> 00:19:05,929 It's such a great excuse. 564 00:19:05,929 --> 00:19:06,862 The fridge is still humming. 565 00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:09,226 I think you need to come back and fix it, 566 00:19:09,226 --> 00:19:11,633 but I guess you'll have to wait till I'm better. 567 00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:12,901 Unless you wind up having COVID. 568 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:16,171 In which case, you know, you can come tomorrow. 569 00:19:16,171 --> 00:19:17,473 - (SIGHS) - Yeah, I feel like a pariah. 570 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,474 More than normal. 571 00:19:18,474 --> 00:19:19,842 Thanks for being so understanding. 572 00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:22,681 Let me know if you get it. We'll... We'll do something. 573 00:19:25,116 --> 00:19:26,848 - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 574 00:19:26,848 --> 00:19:29,385 - LEON: What's up? - Just contacting people. 575 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:30,352 Who you got left? 576 00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:33,657 I got everybody but, uh, this guy, Les McCrabb. 577 00:19:33,657 --> 00:19:34,989 Oh, yeah, the British dude. 578 00:19:34,989 --> 00:19:37,726 LARRY: I can't really call him until I read the book. 579 00:19:37,726 --> 00:19:39,027 Man, you gotta let that motherfucker know, Larry. 580 00:19:39,027 --> 00:19:41,225 This COVID shit real, man. Don't keep fucking around. 581 00:19:41,225 --> 00:19:42,764 I'll call him as soon as I read the book. 582 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,800 Come on, I'm sick. Don't harass me. 583 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,669 Harassing you? You got me fucked up right now. 584 00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:48,170 I'm over in that bullshit-ass, little-ass house, 585 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:49,438 and you got the good bathroom. 586 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,206 I can't take number twos over there. It's too small. 587 00:19:51,206 --> 00:19:52,341 It's pretty sad. 588 00:19:52,341 --> 00:19:53,509 LEON: You don't need all this house, Larry. 589 00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:55,411 I'll switch places with you, okay? 590 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,113 You get the COVID, I'll live there. 591 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,414 Shit, I don't want COVID, man. 592 00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,948 I don't know what that shit gonna do to my dick. 593 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,583 How 'bout I get the house and you live over there? 594 00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:04,520 Maybe you could quarantine with me if you had COVID! 595 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,820 Hey, don't do it. Larry, don't do it. 596 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:08,057 - Don't do that shit, Larry. - If you had COVID! 597 00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:09,358 LEON: No, no, no, no, no, no! 598 00:20:09,358 --> 00:20:11,460 - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (COUGHS) 599 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,499 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 600 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,265 LES: So then Tony says, 601 00:20:16,265 --> 00:20:18,099 "America's not going to like that." 602 00:20:18,099 --> 00:20:21,637 He was always speaking as if his name was "America." 603 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,540 Any time the writers wrote something a little audacious... 604 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:25,940 - (GROANS) - ...a little salacious, 605 00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:29,879 - Tony would poo-poo it in the name of "America." - (SIGHS) 606 00:20:29,879 --> 00:20:31,780 LES: This became increasingly evident 607 00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:34,187 when I was directing Herman's Head. 608 00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:36,185 (SIGHS) 609 00:20:36,185 --> 00:20:38,991 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 610 00:20:42,526 --> 00:20:44,994 - LEON: You negative yet? - Positive. 611 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:45,928 LEON: Shit. 612 00:20:45,928 --> 00:20:47,696 It's bad enough Bruce had to cancel 613 00:20:47,696 --> 00:20:49,864 his farewell tour, maybe indefinitely, 614 00:20:49,864 --> 00:20:52,000 but his health is actually a real issue, 615 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,768 and we don't know how this is gonna turn out. 616 00:20:53,768 --> 00:20:54,903 Yeah, Bruce Springsteen is saying 617 00:20:54,903 --> 00:20:57,039 he got COVID from Seinfeld co-creator, 618 00:20:57,039 --> 00:20:58,107 - Larry David. - What? 619 00:20:58,107 --> 00:21:00,709 {\an8}He tweeted, "I got COVID from spending time 620 00:21:00,709 --> 00:21:02,043 {\an8}with Larry David. If you think you're sick... 621 00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,879 Oh, come on. That's bullshit. You don't know that! 622 00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:05,409 ...don't invite people to get together." And Larry's got a trial 623 00:21:05,409 --> 00:21:06,816 coming up at the end of the month in Atlanta. 624 00:21:06,816 --> 00:21:08,051 HODA KOTB: Getting the Boss sick? 625 00:21:08,051 --> 00:21:09,852 - That is not a good look. - (CELL PHONE RINGING) 626 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,052 Oh, my God. 627 00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:12,288 SAVANNAH GUTHRIE: Bruce tweeted, "I want to apologize 628 00:21:12,288 --> 00:21:13,455 to all my fans. 629 00:21:13,455 --> 00:21:14,423 I am heartbroken to miss my final concert." 630 00:21:14,423 --> 00:21:15,791 - Hey. - Are you watching this? 631 00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:17,859 - LARRY: Yeah, I'm watching. - This is not good, Larry. 632 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,628 Yeah, I know it's not good, but you know what? 633 00:21:19,628 --> 00:21:22,097 Maybe he gave me COVID. What are we gonna do about this? 634 00:21:22,097 --> 00:21:22,932 (INHALES DEEPLY) 635 00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:24,367 LARRY: We gotta put out a statement, no? 636 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,335 SIBBY: Putting out a statement is just gonna keep it alive 637 00:21:26,335 --> 00:21:28,503 - in the press. - Wait. Hold on. 638 00:21:28,503 --> 00:21:30,273 - (MUFFLED GRUNTS) - SIBBY: Larry? 639 00:21:30,273 --> 00:21:31,741 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 640 00:21:31,741 --> 00:21:32,742 Hello? 641 00:21:32,742 --> 00:21:34,647 (GROANS) 642 00:21:36,514 --> 00:21:38,617 (GASPS, BREATHES DEEPLY) 643 00:21:39,617 --> 00:21:41,717 - Larry. - You were saying? 644 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,186 LEON: So, when Larry told me he caught something, 645 00:21:43,186 --> 00:21:45,154 I thought it might've been some old people shit. 646 00:21:45,154 --> 00:21:46,622 You know? Like... Like, uh... 647 00:21:46,622 --> 00:21:48,924 Like whooping cough, scurvy. 648 00:21:48,924 --> 00:21:50,459 You know what I mean? Rickets and shit like that. 649 00:21:50,459 --> 00:21:53,129 - That's why I have my own Leon cup with a straw. - Okay, well... 650 00:21:53,129 --> 00:21:55,831 - Oh. To what do I owe the honor? - Well, Susie told me 651 00:21:55,831 --> 00:21:58,334 about your little "sex on the floor" trick. 652 00:21:58,334 --> 00:22:00,902 -"Sex on the floor" trick? - CHERYL: You used to tell me, 653 00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:03,739 "Let's have sex on the floor because it's hot. 654 00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,073 That's how they do it in the movies." 655 00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,410 Oh, you're a floor fucker. You never told me that shit. 656 00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:09,073 Okay, I like to have sex on the floor. 657 00:22:09,073 --> 00:22:10,279 - CHERYL: Why? - So what? 658 00:22:10,279 --> 00:22:11,513 What's the real reason you wanted 659 00:22:11,513 --> 00:22:13,186 to have sex on the floor? 660 00:22:15,452 --> 00:22:16,855 Because I... (SIGHS) 661 00:22:17,555 --> 00:22:18,891 - What? - What is it? 662 00:22:19,490 --> 00:22:20,759 I don't like to... 663 00:22:22,494 --> 00:22:23,729 cuddle... 664 00:22:25,864 --> 00:22:26,895 and talk. 665 00:22:26,895 --> 00:22:29,132 You don't like to hug the person you just had sex with? 666 00:22:29,132 --> 00:22:31,295 You can't hit it and quit it with your wife. 667 00:22:31,295 --> 00:22:32,901 Cheryl, listen, if after sex you wanted 668 00:22:32,901 --> 00:22:34,870 - to talk about the Rangers... - Yeah, I know. 669 00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,139 ...I would've had sex on the bed every time. 670 00:22:36,139 --> 00:22:37,806 "Hey, how 'bout the way Breadman's playing? 671 00:22:37,806 --> 00:22:40,442 The way he controls that puck, it's really amazing, isn't it?" 672 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,044 But you can't say, "Oh, I love you, 673 00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:44,346 and you're the most important person 674 00:22:44,346 --> 00:22:45,447 to me in the whole world?" 675 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,449 - People talk like that? - Yeah. 676 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:48,584 - LARRY: They do? - Yeah. 677 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,920 That's what happens when people have sex. 678 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,221 - They say stuff like that? - CHERYL: Yes. 679 00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:56,158 They say, "I love you. You're very special." 680 00:22:56,158 --> 00:22:57,460 Men do that? 681 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,728 Hey, by the way, that masseuse gave me COVID. 682 00:22:59,728 --> 00:23:01,764 No, Chunhua did not give you COVID. 683 00:23:01,764 --> 00:23:03,599 - She tested negative. - Oh. 684 00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,968 You know, she's really angry with you. 685 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:08,432 - Why? - You said you were gonna introduce her to Bruce. 686 00:23:08,432 --> 00:23:10,707 I said an introduction. Chu-- He said hello. 687 00:23:10,707 --> 00:23:11,941 Did she get a picture with him? 688 00:23:11,941 --> 00:23:13,376 He was leaving! What am I supposed-- 689 00:23:13,376 --> 00:23:14,578 You need to make it right with her. 690 00:23:14,578 --> 00:23:15,677 Why? What do you mean? 691 00:23:15,677 --> 00:23:17,346 Because she's gonna take you down. 692 00:23:17,346 --> 00:23:20,015 - What do you mean, take me down? - She's going to "Me Too" you. 693 00:23:20,015 --> 00:23:22,251 "Me Too" for what? I didn't do anything! 694 00:23:22,251 --> 00:23:24,153 - You did something. - Just 'cause I like to have sex 695 00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:26,522 on the floor does not make me a deviant! 696 00:23:26,522 --> 00:23:27,889 Okay. Well, you better make it right. Yes. 697 00:23:27,889 --> 00:23:29,592 LEON: Hey, you don't wanna get "Me Too-ed." 698 00:23:29,592 --> 00:23:31,394 I was in a three-way, shit got messy, 699 00:23:31,394 --> 00:23:32,494 and I got "We Too-ed." 700 00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:34,697 Hey, I'll... I'll... I'll see you later. 701 00:23:34,697 --> 00:23:36,198 Have you ever had sex on the floor? 702 00:23:36,198 --> 00:23:37,500 Of course, I did. 703 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,235 Know what's even better? Fucking in mud. 704 00:23:39,235 --> 00:23:43,276 - ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (INHALES) 705 00:23:46,177 --> 00:23:47,180 (GASPS) 706 00:23:49,213 --> 00:23:52,818 (LAUGHS) 707 00:24:02,293 --> 00:24:03,296 (SIGHS) 708 00:24:08,265 --> 00:24:10,667 - JEFF: Hey, hey. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 709 00:24:10,667 --> 00:24:11,834 All better! 710 00:24:11,834 --> 00:24:12,869 - JEFF: Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 711 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:14,570 - COVID negative? - Negative. 712 00:24:14,570 --> 00:24:16,138 - Ah. Congratulations. - (SCOFFS) 713 00:24:16,138 --> 00:24:17,907 - Yeah. Oh, boy. - I got news for you. 714 00:24:17,907 --> 00:24:20,810 - Yeah? - Susie's got COVID. 715 00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:23,045 - Oh, my God. - Susie's stuck upstairs. 716 00:24:23,045 --> 00:24:25,047 I got the whole first floor to myself. 717 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:26,715 - This is unbelievable. - JEFF: Oh, it's a dream. 718 00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:29,551 It's Jeff World down here. I do whatever I want. 719 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,220 Who's down there with you, Jeffrey? 720 00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:32,755 - It's Larry. - Hey. 721 00:24:32,755 --> 00:24:34,257 He's not supposed to be here. 722 00:24:34,257 --> 00:24:35,724 What? I have immunity. 723 00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:38,194 - Oh, you think so? - And can I tell you something? I feel like Superman. 724 00:24:38,194 --> 00:24:41,030 - Do you really? - I can go anywhere, do anything. 725 00:24:41,030 --> 00:24:42,932 How could you be so happy right now? 726 00:24:42,932 --> 00:24:44,834 You gave Bruce COVID, Larry! 727 00:24:44,834 --> 00:24:47,036 You destroyed his life, his career. 728 00:24:47,036 --> 00:24:49,204 He might never play or sing again. 729 00:24:49,204 --> 00:24:51,773 - Poor Boss. Oh, the poor Boss. - SUSIE: That's right, poor Boss. 730 00:24:51,773 --> 00:24:55,377 - His fans are devastated. - Oh, the poor fans. 731 00:24:55,377 --> 00:24:57,146 Everybody fucking hates you now. 732 00:24:57,146 --> 00:24:58,848 - Oh. - SUSIE: It's all your fault. 733 00:24:58,848 --> 00:25:00,916 You're a walking fucking virus, Larry! 734 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:02,751 Let me tell you something! You're the virus! 735 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:05,021 Injecting yourself into everybody's lives! 736 00:25:05,021 --> 00:25:06,655 - You're the virus! - You're the virus! 737 00:25:06,655 --> 00:25:08,657 BOTH: You're the virus! You're the virus! 738 00:25:08,657 --> 00:25:11,326 Your entire aura is viral overload! 739 00:25:11,326 --> 00:25:13,930 I have a fantastic aura! Jeff, don't I have a good aura? 740 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:15,064 - A great aura. - LARRY: I have a great-- 741 00:25:15,064 --> 00:25:18,200 Susie, leave the man's aura alone. 742 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,469 It's an epic aura. I have a Hall of Fame aura. 743 00:25:20,469 --> 00:25:24,440 You're small. You're petty. You're jealous. You're trite. 744 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,442 I would rather be all those things 745 00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:31,179 than the tattletale you are. You had to tell Cheryl I like to have sex on the floor? 746 00:25:31,179 --> 00:25:33,682 - Oh, yeah. I had to tell. Yes, I did have to tell. - What the hell is that? 747 00:25:33,682 --> 00:25:35,050 - LARRY: You're a squealer! - It was criminal. 748 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:36,753 You ought to be ashamed of yourself, 749 00:25:36,753 --> 00:25:38,587 squealing like a little pig. 750 00:25:38,587 --> 00:25:39,889 The fact that you wouldn't be intimate 751 00:25:39,889 --> 00:25:41,856 and cuddle with your own fucking wife. 752 00:25:41,856 --> 00:25:43,927 What kind of ingrate human being are you? 753 00:25:43,927 --> 00:25:45,194 Oh, you know what? Go fuck yourself. 754 00:25:45,194 --> 00:25:47,096 I hope you're up here for another three weeks. 755 00:25:47,096 --> 00:25:50,232 You cold-hearted, COVID-carrying cocksucker! 756 00:25:50,232 --> 00:25:51,835 LARRY: Hey, let's go watch the game. 757 00:25:51,835 --> 00:25:53,197 - (SIGHS) - Yeah. 758 00:25:53,197 --> 00:25:54,904 Drove by Ollie and Al's. 759 00:25:54,904 --> 00:25:56,672 - A is still up. - You're kidding. 760 00:25:56,672 --> 00:25:58,306 - (CHUCKLES) No. - Where does that guy get off? 761 00:25:58,306 --> 00:26:01,243 - I'm gonna talk to him about it. - ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 762 00:26:01,243 --> 00:26:04,013 You have bad foot. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. 763 00:26:04,013 --> 00:26:05,514 - This no smooth ride. - Oh, please. 764 00:26:05,514 --> 00:26:07,550 - Herky-jerky. - Oh, my God. 765 00:26:07,550 --> 00:26:09,585 When we see Bruce today, I want photo. 766 00:26:09,585 --> 00:26:10,885 LARRY: Yeah, great. 767 00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:13,588 Yeah, I don't even know how we're even getting in, okay? 768 00:26:13,588 --> 00:26:15,624 I masseuse. Masseuse always get in. 769 00:26:15,624 --> 00:26:17,226 - Oh. Yeah. - FANS: Bruce! 770 00:26:17,226 --> 00:26:19,861 - LARRY: Um. Oh, jeez. Uh-oh. - FEMALE FAN 1: Get well soon! 771 00:26:19,861 --> 00:26:21,130 - FANS: Bruce! - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 772 00:26:21,130 --> 00:26:23,066 - FEMALE FAN 1: We love you! - FANS: Bruce! 773 00:26:23,066 --> 00:26:24,767 - FEMALE FAN 1: We miss you! - FANS: Bruce! 774 00:26:24,767 --> 00:26:26,936 {\an8}MALE FAN: Asbury Park rules! 775 00:26:26,936 --> 00:26:30,008 Um, all right, I gotta pull over. 776 00:26:30,541 --> 00:26:31,840 CHUNHUA: Why stop here? 777 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,977 - You're gonna have to drive. - FANS: Bruce! 778 00:26:33,977 --> 00:26:36,512 - We're sending our love! - FANS: Bruce! 779 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:37,974 MALE FAN: Feel better, please. 780 00:26:37,974 --> 00:26:40,283 - FEMALE FAN 1: We need you back on tour, man! - FANS: Bruce! 781 00:26:40,283 --> 00:26:42,451 I still don't get how you're gonna get in here. 782 00:26:42,451 --> 00:26:44,286 - It's impossible. - CHUNHUA: Leave it to me. 783 00:26:44,286 --> 00:26:46,188 - (INTERCOM BEEPS) - FEMALE FAN 2: We're praying for you! 784 00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:48,657 - MAN: (OVER INTERCOM) Hello? - Massage! 785 00:26:48,657 --> 00:26:51,026 - MAN: Excuse me! - Massage! 786 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:53,362 MAN: I'm sorry, uh, we did not order a massage. 787 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:56,732 Somebody in this house order massage. Open gate. 788 00:26:56,732 --> 00:26:58,867 MAN: No, no one in this house ordered a massage. 789 00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:02,905 You order massage. 362 Bristol. Open gate or I leave, 790 00:27:02,905 --> 00:27:04,243 and you pay me. 791 00:27:05,276 --> 00:27:06,308 MAN: Uh... 792 00:27:06,308 --> 00:27:08,511 - Okay, come on in. - (INTERCOM BEEPS) 793 00:27:08,511 --> 00:27:10,583 Unbelievable. (LAUGHS) 794 00:27:11,315 --> 00:27:12,549 FANS: Bruce! 795 00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:13,886 Larry. 796 00:27:14,619 --> 00:27:15,384 Larry. 797 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:16,853 - LARRY: Yeah. - CHUNHUA: Where Bruce? 798 00:27:16,853 --> 00:27:18,152 One second. Follow me. 799 00:27:18,152 --> 00:27:21,227 - ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - MALE FAN: Whoo! Springsteen! 800 00:27:30,568 --> 00:27:32,067 A house divided 801 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:35,972 - against itself cannot stand. - (COUGHS) 802 00:27:35,972 --> 00:27:38,007 - Ah. - (COUGHS) 803 00:27:38,007 --> 00:27:39,942 - Hey. - (COUGHS) 804 00:27:39,942 --> 00:27:41,811 - (GASPS) Bruce! - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 805 00:27:41,811 --> 00:27:43,478 - What the fuck? - LARRY: Hey. 806 00:27:43,478 --> 00:27:44,747 - Hey, man. - Larry. 807 00:27:44,747 --> 00:27:45,747 Yeah. 808 00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,516 What are you doing in my backyard, 809 00:27:47,516 --> 00:27:48,985 and how did you get in here? 810 00:27:48,985 --> 00:27:50,319 Oh, I laid down on the floor of the car. 811 00:27:50,319 --> 00:27:52,789 She said she was your masseuse. They let her in. 812 00:27:52,789 --> 00:27:54,056 - What? - LARRY: By the way, 813 00:27:54,056 --> 00:27:55,124 there's a lot of people out there. 814 00:27:55,124 --> 00:27:57,226 Yeah, because they think I'm dying 815 00:27:57,226 --> 00:27:58,961 from the COVID I caught from you. 816 00:27:58,961 --> 00:28:01,030 Mr. Three-Card Monte with the glasses. 817 00:28:01,030 --> 00:28:02,298 That's where it happened. 818 00:28:02,298 --> 00:28:04,767 Hey, I'm almost 99.9 percent sure 819 00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:06,035 that was my glass, Bruce. 820 00:28:06,035 --> 00:28:07,937 I lost my sense of smell. 821 00:28:07,937 --> 00:28:09,973 I'm so sorry. There's nothing to smell. 822 00:28:09,973 --> 00:28:11,373 Everything stinks. It doesn't matter. 823 00:28:11,373 --> 00:28:13,076 - (SIGHS) Fuck. - LARRY: You're better off. 824 00:28:13,076 --> 00:28:14,543 Hey, what are you watching? 825 00:28:14,543 --> 00:28:16,740 - BRUCE: Uh, Young Mr. Lincoln. - LARRY: Lincoln in Illinois? 826 00:28:16,740 --> 00:28:18,480 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I love that movie. 827 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,849 (IMITATES RAYMOND MASSEY) A house divided 828 00:28:19,849 --> 00:28:21,983 against itself cannot stand. 829 00:28:21,983 --> 00:28:24,353 That's a good Massey. Now get the fuck out, please. 830 00:28:24,353 --> 00:28:26,755 Okay. Hey, um, do you remember Chunhua? 831 00:28:26,755 --> 00:28:28,852 (GASPS) Bruce. I love you, Bruce. 832 00:28:28,852 --> 00:28:30,793 She didn't get a chance to talk to you last time. 833 00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:32,794 She-- You know, she's a big fan. 834 00:28:32,794 --> 00:28:34,463 - She just want one-- Just-- - One photo. 835 00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:37,199 I'm sick as a fucking dog. It's not really the best time. 836 00:28:37,199 --> 00:28:38,567 - It'll just take one second. - One photo. 837 00:28:38,567 --> 00:28:39,902 - It'll take one second. - What? 838 00:28:39,902 --> 00:28:41,137 - CHUNHUA: Thank you. - LARRY: There you go. 839 00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:43,572 - Wha-- Larry-- (COUGHS) - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) 840 00:28:43,572 --> 00:28:45,274 - LARRY: Okay. There you go. - Show me. Show me. 841 00:28:45,274 --> 00:28:46,876 - Okay, man. - BRUCE: (COUGHS) Jesus Christ. 842 00:28:46,876 --> 00:28:49,077 No, Bruce, only me and reflection. 843 00:28:49,077 --> 00:28:50,747 - LARRY: What am I supposed to do? - CHUNHUA: Take photo! 844 00:28:50,747 --> 00:28:52,048 This is the last one! 845 00:28:52,048 --> 00:28:53,282 - Larry, Larry... - Take photo, 846 00:28:53,282 --> 00:28:54,483 - you dumb, bald man. - ...take the fucking photo! 847 00:28:54,483 --> 00:28:55,917 - I took it! I took it! - CHUNHUA: Photo, Larry. 848 00:28:55,917 --> 00:28:56,920 - Larry, what are you doing? - LARRY: Oh. Yeah. 849 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,021 You guys can't be here. 850 00:28:58,021 --> 00:28:59,849 - He doesn't feel well. - LARRY: Yeah. 851 00:28:59,849 --> 00:29:01,590 - I'm sick. - Yeah. You gotta get out of here. 852 00:29:01,590 --> 00:29:04,126 I'm sorry about this. I totally had a hunch 853 00:29:04,126 --> 00:29:05,327 - that this was not a good idea... - Yeah, you know, 854 00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:06,595 - you had a hunch. - ...that you meet Bruce. 855 00:29:06,595 --> 00:29:08,330 That's not a hunch. I think you want all the credit 856 00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:09,926 for being right without doing any of the work. 857 00:29:09,926 --> 00:29:12,001 If you had a hunch, you should've said something. 858 00:29:12,001 --> 00:29:13,002 - There you go. There you go. - Yeah. 859 00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:14,537 You need to get out of here, Larry. 860 00:29:14,537 --> 00:29:16,237 (IMITATES RAYMOND MASSEY) All right. We'll take our leave now. 861 00:29:16,237 --> 00:29:18,140 - Come on. Come on. Please, no photos. Yeah. - Ah, Jesus Christ. 862 00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:19,408 - Steven, may I add... - Let's go. 863 00:29:19,408 --> 00:29:22,211 ...we're very honored and appreciative of the time 864 00:29:22,211 --> 00:29:24,280 - we got to spend here. - KEN: Yep. Let's go. 865 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,483 LARRY: Mary, why do you constantly insult me 866 00:29:27,483 --> 00:29:29,018 in front of my friends? 867 00:29:29,018 --> 00:29:31,052 - ♪ (MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (COUGHS) 868 00:29:31,052 --> 00:29:32,255 RAYMOND MASSEY: (OVER TV) Would we not rather say 869 00:29:32,255 --> 00:29:34,057 the remedy is in our hands? 870 00:29:34,057 --> 00:29:36,726 Fucking Larry. (BLOWS NOSE) 871 00:29:36,726 --> 00:29:38,494 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 872 00:29:38,494 --> 00:29:40,730 Do you-- You got what you needed, right? 873 00:29:40,730 --> 00:29:42,865 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 874 00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:45,000 Oh, my God, it's Larry David! 875 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,569 You gave Bruce COVID, you psycho! 876 00:29:47,569 --> 00:29:50,071 - (FANS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) - No, no! No, no, no! 877 00:29:50,071 --> 00:29:52,541 - I didn't give him COVID! - You ruined the tour. I had front row seats. 878 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,977 - No, no, no, no, no, no! - It was my last chance to see him. 879 00:29:54,977 --> 00:29:57,213 - He gave me COVID! Holy shit! - Drive! Drive! 880 00:29:57,213 --> 00:30:00,419 No, no, no! Hey, hey! 881 00:30:01,586 --> 00:30:03,055 Go, go, go! 882 00:30:05,824 --> 00:30:07,059 Oh, my God. 883 00:30:10,729 --> 00:30:12,261 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 884 00:30:12,261 --> 00:30:15,331 LES: Did Patricia Heaton get a little handsy? 885 00:30:15,331 --> 00:30:18,034 Well, that is a tale for my next book, 886 00:30:18,034 --> 00:30:20,339 because that's a wrap! 887 00:30:24,676 --> 00:30:25,541 What a piece of shit. 888 00:30:25,541 --> 00:30:27,009 Now you gotta call that motherfucker. 889 00:30:27,009 --> 00:30:28,344 What's up, fellas? Keeping it light today. 890 00:30:28,344 --> 00:30:31,347 Lorenzo. I saw what you did. 891 00:30:31,347 --> 00:30:35,284 I saw you change the sign from a C to an A. 892 00:30:35,284 --> 00:30:38,291 So, I'm not about to eat food from your restaurant. 893 00:30:38,890 --> 00:30:40,222 That C was undeserved. 894 00:30:40,222 --> 00:30:41,690 Oh, really? How so? 895 00:30:41,690 --> 00:30:45,121 One of my guys had sex with a waitress on the floor. 896 00:30:45,121 --> 00:30:48,197 Health department found out, and then, boom, we got a C. 897 00:30:48,197 --> 00:30:49,498 Doesn't even make any sense. 898 00:30:49,498 --> 00:30:51,233 Why have sex with anybody on a floor? 899 00:30:51,233 --> 00:30:52,836 There's plenty of places to have sex. 900 00:30:52,836 --> 00:30:54,336 I have a couch in my office. 901 00:30:54,336 --> 00:30:56,105 Maybe he just knows that women 902 00:30:56,105 --> 00:30:57,807 don't wanna hang out on the floor and... 903 00:30:57,807 --> 00:30:59,174 and that he can have sex 904 00:30:59,174 --> 00:31:02,111 and then just get dressed and, uh, go about his business. 905 00:31:02,111 --> 00:31:04,147 You know, I considered that, 906 00:31:04,147 --> 00:31:07,153 and that pisses me off more than this fucking C. 907 00:31:08,119 --> 00:31:09,185 What kind of asshole 908 00:31:09,185 --> 00:31:11,354 doesn't want to cuddle after sex? 909 00:31:11,354 --> 00:31:14,023 That's what separates us from animals. 910 00:31:14,023 --> 00:31:16,926 We're not two badgers fucking in the woods. 911 00:31:16,926 --> 00:31:19,394 We are people who love one another. 912 00:31:19,394 --> 00:31:21,530 Woman just gives herself to you like that, 913 00:31:21,530 --> 00:31:23,833 and you're not gonna spend a little time thanking her? 914 00:31:23,833 --> 00:31:25,568 And the fact that he couldn't throw 915 00:31:25,568 --> 00:31:26,896 an arm around her, 916 00:31:26,896 --> 00:31:29,572 talk about the rest of her fucking day. 917 00:31:29,572 --> 00:31:31,773 What's she gonna do? Where's she gonna go? 918 00:31:31,773 --> 00:31:35,511 It just takes one minute of common fucking courtesy. 919 00:31:35,511 --> 00:31:37,980 There's never an excuse not to cuddle. 920 00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,786 That guy is a straight up sick fuck. 921 00:31:41,552 --> 00:31:42,985 Well, you know... (CLEARS THROAT) 922 00:31:42,985 --> 00:31:44,620 ...we don't know anything about this guy. 923 00:31:44,620 --> 00:31:46,288 Maybe he's just a nice guy in a hurry. 924 00:31:46,288 --> 00:31:48,657 No. He is a dirty floor fucker 925 00:31:48,657 --> 00:31:50,596 who doesn't deserve to live amongst us. 926 00:31:51,595 --> 00:31:53,229 You know what? This is all on me. 927 00:31:53,229 --> 00:31:55,501 - Really? - The place is clean. 928 00:31:56,568 --> 00:31:57,570 We deserve an A. 929 00:31:58,503 --> 00:32:00,536 - I'd like to meet this guy. - (LEON SIGHS) 930 00:32:00,536 --> 00:32:02,438 - We got something in common. - LEON: You do. 931 00:32:02,438 --> 00:32:03,939 I could probably be friends with this guy. 932 00:32:03,939 --> 00:32:07,944 I only did it in my house. He's doing it in restaurants. 933 00:32:07,944 --> 00:32:09,212 - Yeah. - LARRY: It's sad to think 934 00:32:09,212 --> 00:32:11,480 that there might be a guy out there 935 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,884 - who has sex on the floor... - LEON: Yeah. 936 00:32:14,884 --> 00:32:16,051 ...and I'm never gonna meet him. 937 00:32:16,051 --> 00:32:17,653 Yeah, that's deep shit right there. 938 00:32:17,653 --> 00:32:21,357 - All right. (SIGHS) Let's go. - Wait. 939 00:32:21,357 --> 00:32:23,425 What the fuck is happening here? You read the book. 940 00:32:23,425 --> 00:32:24,593 You know what time it is now? 941 00:32:24,593 --> 00:32:25,856 You gotta call this motherfucker. 942 00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:27,333 Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. One second. 943 00:32:28,332 --> 00:32:29,699 LEON: You gotta do that shit right now? 944 00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:30,532 Every moment counts. 945 00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:31,900 You gonna put that shit off again, 946 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:34,703 and this motherfucker's walking around, spreading Rona. 947 00:32:34,703 --> 00:32:37,339 - Ah. Okay. Got it. - LEON: There you go. See? 948 00:32:37,339 --> 00:32:39,141 Now call that sorry-ass English motherfucker 949 00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:41,611 and let him know he got the Rona. 950 00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:43,045 Namaste, sister. 951 00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:45,715 - Thank you. - (CHUCKLES) Mahmoud! 952 00:32:45,715 --> 00:32:47,016 Lovely to see you again. 953 00:32:47,016 --> 00:32:48,584 Wonderful to see you too, brother. 954 00:32:48,584 --> 00:32:50,386 Bye-bye, phone. See you in a week. 955 00:32:50,386 --> 00:32:51,586 - Hmm. - (LES CHUCKLES) 956 00:32:51,586 --> 00:32:53,388 - Here you are, everybody! - (PASSENGERS CHEER) 957 00:32:53,388 --> 00:32:54,656 LES: Hey, hey, hey! How is everyone? 958 00:32:54,656 --> 00:32:56,258 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - LES: Fantastic to see you. 959 00:32:56,258 --> 00:32:58,828 I didn't sleep last night. I was so excited. 960 00:32:58,828 --> 00:33:00,930 There you are. Give me a kiss. 961 00:33:00,930 --> 00:33:02,164 - Come close. - WOMAN 1: Big hugs. 962 00:33:02,164 --> 00:33:03,599 LES: I was hoping you'd be here. 963 00:33:03,599 --> 00:33:05,368 - My brother tells me you're pregnant again. - WOMAN 2: Twins. 964 00:33:05,368 --> 00:33:06,668 - Let's do this. - MAN: All right, Les. 965 00:33:06,668 --> 00:33:09,238 Now, everyone, I want you to take a cleansing breath 966 00:33:09,238 --> 00:33:12,041 before we take off. (INHALES DEEPLY) 967 00:33:12,041 --> 00:33:15,378 (ALL YELL) 968 00:33:15,378 --> 00:33:18,314 Great. Right, let's go. Let's not be fucking late. 969 00:33:18,314 --> 00:33:21,354 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 970 00:34:26,250 --> 00:34:28,687 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪