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♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
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♪ Yah-dat-dat-dat
Dat-dat-dat-dat ♪
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♪ Yat-dat-dat-dat
Dat-dat-dat-da ♪
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- ♪ Yah-yah, diyah, da-da ♪
- RODRIGO: Welcome.
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Gotcha.
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♪ Yat-dat-dat-dat-dat-dat-dat ♪
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♪ Yat-dat-dat-dat
Dat-dat-dat-dat ♪
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(SLOWS) ♪ Dat-dat-dat-dat
Dat-dat-dat-dat-da ♪
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♪ Ya-ah... Ya... ♪
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Mr. David,
what brings you to Georgia?
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Well, um, I'm on trial
for the horrible crime of...
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giving a woman
who was on line to vote...
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a bottle of water.
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(MOCKINGLY) Oh!
Oh, what a terrible thing.
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Oh, what a terrible crime.
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What... What...
What... What... What... What...
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What a terrible crime
to give her a bottle of water.
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CHRISTOPHER MANTLE:
Okay, Larr-- Larr.
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Let's do it like we're actually
in the trial. Okay?
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Which means
you have to stay silent
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and only answer the questions.
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- Copy that.
- Thank you.
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So, Larry, Georgia gets
thousands of visitors a year
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here to experience
our beautiful springs,
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our peach trees. Well, what...
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What is it that brought you here
to Georgia in the first place?
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I was offered an appearance fee
to show up at this party,
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- and I was told to be cordial.
- Cordial?
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And you know what?
I was pretty damn cordial.
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- I asked questions to people.
- (SIGHS)
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"Oh, does your son
take piano lessons?"
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- Larry, just--
- LARRY DAVID: "Does he practice?
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It's hard to get him
to practice.
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They don't like to practice."
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Larry, try to stay on topic.
We don't care about the...
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- Right? I know. It's not--
- LARRY: I'm just saying
how cordial I was.
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I asked about
the son's piano lessons.
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What else you got? Huh?
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I tore him to shreds.
I tore him to shreds.
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Okay.
I think we're done here today.
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Jury, thank you so much
for coming.
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Uh, you may exit and deliberate
as if this was a real trial.
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We appreciate your time.
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And, uh, please fill out
the questionnaires.
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It'll help us reach a verdict.
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You know, my father fought
in World War II, Iwo Jima.
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He wasn't one of the ones
with the flag.
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CHRISTOPHER: That's fine.
Thank you.
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He was encouraging
the flag holders.
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- CHRISTOPHER:
Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
- Yelled encouragement.
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"Go, guys! Go! Up that hill!"
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Larry, let's have a little chat
down here really quick.
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- Huh? Well?
- How do you feel that went?
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Frankly, I'm a little concerned
about one of the jurors.
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- CHRISTOPHER: Yeah.
- In the garage, he saw me
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- tossing my keys to the valet.
- Uh-huh.
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I could be perceived
as a big shot.
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- Nobody likes a big shot.
- That's true.
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- They don't like a big shot.
- Yeah.
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But, uh, I wouldn't worry about
this mock trial for that.
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Where are you getting
these jurors, anyway?
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My assistant gathers them
from the building.
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- You know what I think?
- CHRISTOPHER: What's that?
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- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- I think you ought to
go in there and get
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- that guy out of there...
- CHRISTOPHER: One second.
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...because he's gonna poison
those people.
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I got a great text from Abe.
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Ah, great.
So everything's worked out?
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- Yeah, everything's...
- Beautiful.
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Yeah, everything's
been going great.
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And what name did you wind up
using for the kid?
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Why don't
we leave our professional
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and personal lives separate,
you know?
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- Okay.
- CHRISTOPHER: Okay.
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LARRY: It was Zeckelman,
wasn't it?
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CHRISTOPHER: Yeah.
Yeah, it was Zeckelman.
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LARRY: Yeah,
that's what I thought.
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{\an8}♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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- Hey.
- RODRIGO: Hey.
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{\an8}Um...
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Did you mind me
tossing the keys to you earlier?
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{\an8}Oh, no. No, no, not at all.
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{\an8}- You like a key toss?
- Absolutely.
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It's human nature.
We like to catch.
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I mean,
that's what I thought, right?
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And we like to toss.
People like to toss and catch.
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{\an8}- Right? Yeah.
- (CHUCKLES) Right. Yeah, yeah.
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{\an8}Your car's actually
out in the front.
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{\an8}Do you want me
to get it for you?
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{\an8}Oh, no, that won't be necessary.
I'm happy to get it.
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{\an8}Well, here you go, sir.
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{\an8}- Well, thank you, Rodrigo.
- RODRIGO: Oh.
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- This is for you.
- RODRIGO: Oh, thank you so much.
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{\an8}- My pleasure.
- Thank you.
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♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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Um, you got the salad,
but I have a feeling...
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you're gonna be
very jealous of this.
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- Of the sandwich? Yeah.
- Yes. Well...
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I'm not supposed
to be eating sandwiches.
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All right. (SIGHS)
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- Um, listen.
- Yeah?
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I'm gonna have back surgery.
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- Back surgery?
- Back surgery.
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- Really? That bad?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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Upper back. Yeah, it's been...
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- Oh, don't even get me started.
- Okay.
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Anyhow, I'm gonna
have anesthesia, obviously.
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Three percent chance
something'll happen to me. So...
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(WHISPERING)
Susie has the power of attorney.
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She's in charge of all of it.
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So if something bad
happens to me,
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I don't trust her.
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You mean she'll...
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- she'll pull the plug too fast?
- Pull the plug?
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She could do it for any reason.
Who knows?
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Uh, maybe on the way there
we get into a fight,
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- which is more than likely.
- Right.
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So I want you in charge.
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Well... okay.
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And I don't expect you
to visit me.
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I wouldn't know
if you're there or not.
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Just come, like,
once a week and take a look.
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I might not even come
once a week.
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I could just call up.
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I'm unconscious.
What the fuck do I know?
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How we gonna do this?
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We're gonna go to my attorney,
sign some papers, you're in.
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Boy.
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That sounds real risky.
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What if she finds out
we went to this attorney?
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Mantle is in the same building
as my attorney.
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My lawyer's in the same building
as this guy?
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- Yes, indeed.
- Yeah.
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- We could say we went to mine.
- We'll say we went to Mantle's.
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- Oh, my God, it's perfect.
- If she finds out,
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there's no telling
what she could do.
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Yeah, well,
she's not gonna find out.
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- Find out what?
- Oh.
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- Tell her, tell her, tell her.
- Find out-- Find out that I...
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- Yeah.
- ...was found guilty.
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- In his mock trial.
- In my mock trial.
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- Can you believe that?
- What?
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Yeah. One of the jurors--
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I like you eating a salad, Jeff.
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- Thank you.
- Very nice.
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It's delicious
and I'm enjoying it.
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- Good. Good for you.
- One of the mock jurors?
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SUSIE GREENE: Yeah.
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Saw me tossing keys
to the valet.
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And I think
he got offended by it...
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- He thought,
"Oh, who's this big shot?"
- ...and influenced the--
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- Yeah, like I was a big shot.
- SUSIE: Yeah.
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I'm not a big shot.
It wasn't a big shot toss.
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Yeah, but you know, Larry,
a toss, you could hurt somebody,
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- you could injure them.
- Hurt somebody?
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What kind of mutant
can't catch a key?
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You better be
very careful right now.
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I mean,
that was only a mock trial
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that you failed.
Imagine a real trial.
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- Wanna go to jail in Atlanta,
in the South?
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
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They'll have you
on a chain gang.
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Oh. Hello?
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(CALLER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
OVER PHONE)
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Now?
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Okay.
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- All right, I'll pick you up.
- Who's that?
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It's Lewis. He wants
to buy this old Mercedes,
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and, you know,
he lost his sense of smell
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- during COVID, and--
- SUSIE: Oh, yeah.
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And, you know,
sometimes these old cars,
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- they have a musty odor to 'em.
- He wants your nose.
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- LARRY: Yeah.
He wants my nose. Yeah.
- Yeah.
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All right, I'm gonna take off.
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Hey, you gonna finish
that sandwich?
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Eh. Take it.
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JEFF GREENE: All right.
Thank you.
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Oh, I got this
Vonderdonk cheese.
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- SUSIE: Yeah?
- I don't want it sitting
in the car.
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Do you mind
if I keep it in your fridge?
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- No. Go ahead.
- LARRY: Huh?
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Put it in the cheese drawer.
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Okay. I'll pick it up later
or tomorrow.
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SUSIE: Yeah, whatever.
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LARRY: All right, see ya.
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♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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He sent me a couple
of pictures of the car,
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- and it's just so...
- Uh-huh.
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It's such a classic
and it's so beautiful, man.
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00:07:02,795 --> 00:07:04,830
- Wow.
- This is a rare gem.
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You like the old Mercedes.
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I don't know
how it's gonna really smell,
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- so, you know,
you're my nose today.
- Ah.
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My nose isn't so great.
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Disgusting things
I can smell very well.
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- Urine, BO, you know.
- I don't know. I mean, I...
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Urine, I can smell
from two blocks away,
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but you shove a flower
up my nose,
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it does nothing for me.
Hey, um...
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you're friends
with Conan, right?
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00:07:24,078 --> 00:07:25,050
Yeah, for a long time.
202
00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:27,186
'Cause I saw him
in my neighborhood.
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00:07:27,186 --> 00:07:29,689
Yeah, well, he moved
into that Spanish-looking house,
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uh, up on the Circle.
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You know, I wanted to go up
and say something to him,
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but I didn't want him to think
I was, you know, a nut, so...
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- You need clearance.
- I need clearance.
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- You need clearance
before you talk to him.
- Yeah.
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- Otherwise, you know, my God.
- Right. Yeah.
210
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Could you get me clearance?
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- I can get you Conan clearance.
- You'll get me Conan clearance?
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00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:46,137
- I'll get you Conan clearance.
- All right.
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- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- LARRY: Great. Thank you.
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- Right? I mean, come on.
- (LARRY SCOFFS)
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- It's mint condition. 1973.
- It's a beauty.
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- I've never seen
anything like it.
- There's not a scratch on it.
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- LARRY: It's really something.
- MIKE DICARLO: Right?
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How you feeling in there?
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- Oh, this is a beauty.
- Right?
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- This is really gorgeous,
huh, Larry?
- LARRY: Uh-huh.
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Look how good
he looks in this car.
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Yeah, don't be too enthusiastic.
223
00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:05,757
- He'll boost the price on you.
- No. No, no.
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I bet that's true.
You think he's a booster?
225
00:08:07,259 --> 00:08:09,028
- He could be a booster.
- RICHARD LEWIS: I think so.
226
00:08:09,028 --> 00:08:10,329
Yeah, he might be a booster.
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00:08:10,329 --> 00:08:12,931
- But it is beautiful.
- I do not wanna let this car go.
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If I wasn't going through
this goddamn divorce...
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- Oh.
- She's not getting the car.
230
00:08:16,736 --> 00:08:18,374
What do you think, LD, huh?
231
00:08:19,507 --> 00:08:20,840
How's it feel?
You look great in it.
232
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:21,941
- Doesn't he look great in that?
- Yeah.
233
00:08:21,941 --> 00:08:24,109
MIKE:
It's got all the original parts.
234
00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:26,745
Oh, I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go sit in it.
235
00:08:26,745 --> 00:08:29,782
Yeah, yeah.
Try it out yourself. (CHUCKLES)
236
00:08:29,782 --> 00:08:31,517
All right, I'll stop boosting.
237
00:08:31,517 --> 00:08:33,151
Come on. What took you so long?
238
00:08:33,151 --> 00:08:35,788
- What took me so long?
- Yeah,
I'm nodding my brains out.
239
00:08:35,788 --> 00:08:37,789
No, 'cause your head nod
isn't any good.
240
00:08:37,789 --> 00:08:39,424
I didn't know
what you were doing.
241
00:08:39,424 --> 00:08:41,627
- What do you mean
it's not any good?
- You don't have a good head nod.
242
00:08:41,627 --> 00:08:43,896
A head nod,
you're supposed to go like this.
243
00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:45,597
- Huh. Huh.
- Yeah, I did. I went--
244
00:08:45,597 --> 00:08:49,202
No, no, you didn't do that.
You went like this. Like that.
245
00:08:49,202 --> 00:08:52,305
- And you use your eyes too?
- You use your eyes, yeah.
246
00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:56,275
- There you go. There you go.
- How come now you tell me?
247
00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:57,876
Just saying you need to work
on your head nod.
248
00:08:57,876 --> 00:09:01,347
All right, so what do you think
of the car, man? I love it.
249
00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:05,179
- (SNIFFS)
- What's wrong?
250
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,219
(CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS)
251
00:09:07,219 --> 00:09:08,855
There's a smell.
252
00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:14,060
(SNIFFS) It smells like tobacco.
253
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,994
- It does?
- Yeah, like...
254
00:09:15,994 --> 00:09:18,932
somebody smoked a lot
of Chesterfields in this car.
255
00:09:18,932 --> 00:09:20,732
What do you think?
It's great, right?
256
00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:24,003
You loving it? Huh?
It's all vintage.
257
00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:25,537
So, what do you think
I should do?
258
00:09:25,537 --> 00:09:26,940
You can't pay full price.
259
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,908
Then I'm gonna ask him
for a discount.
260
00:09:28,908 --> 00:09:30,976
- A smell discount.
- Yeah. Good.
261
00:09:30,976 --> 00:09:33,646
- What's up, guys? We got a deal?
- Hey, listen, man.
262
00:09:33,646 --> 00:09:35,615
I don't think
I'm gonna buy the car.
263
00:09:35,615 --> 00:09:37,015
Why not? What?
264
00:09:37,015 --> 00:09:39,485
- What are you talking about?
- He told me it smells in here.
265
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:41,020
What are you-- What happened?
266
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,822
You know, he, um...
he brought me along
267
00:09:43,822 --> 00:09:45,458
'cause he's got long COVID
and he can't smell,
268
00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:46,292
and you know, old cars,
269
00:09:46,292 --> 00:09:47,859
they occasionally have
a musty smell,
270
00:09:47,859 --> 00:09:49,462
- and, you know--
- This has a good musty smell.
271
00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:51,330
There's good old musty
and there's bad old musty,
272
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:52,897
- and this is bad old musty.
- RICHARD: Right.
273
00:09:52,897 --> 00:09:54,466
No, this is an old car smell.
It's good.
274
00:09:54,466 --> 00:09:56,602
- LARRY: I'm sorry, you know.
- RICHARD: I don't buy that, man.
275
00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,137
I'm sorry.
I smell tobacco in there.
276
00:09:58,137 --> 00:09:59,839
Wait, if you can't smell,
what do you care?
277
00:09:59,839 --> 00:10:01,007
It's your car. It's not his car.
278
00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:03,342
Okay, I can't smell it,
but if there's a smell,
279
00:10:03,342 --> 00:10:05,477
then it's gonna be a bad thing
for anyone
280
00:10:05,477 --> 00:10:06,845
who drives in the car with me.
281
00:10:06,845 --> 00:10:09,081
Get one of those, you know,
pine, uh, things that--
282
00:10:09,081 --> 00:10:10,983
Forget the pine thing.
I'll buy the car,
283
00:10:10,983 --> 00:10:13,452
but I want
a 3,000-dollar smell discount.
284
00:10:13,452 --> 00:10:17,290
(SCOFFS) You know what I smell?
I smell a scam. You come here.
285
00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:18,725
-"Oh, he can't smell..."
- That's ridiculous.
286
00:10:18,725 --> 00:10:19,691
"...but I'm gonna tell him,
287
00:10:19,691 --> 00:10:21,060
'Oh, yeah,
smells like cigarettes.'
288
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:22,428
Why don't you knock off 3,000?"
289
00:10:22,428 --> 00:10:23,863
- Come-- That's ridiculous.
- I don't think so.
290
00:10:23,863 --> 00:10:25,031
- There's no scam.
- I don't think so.
291
00:10:25,031 --> 00:10:27,266
- It wasn't planned, believe me.
- Oh, come on.
292
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:29,936
I'm not taking 3,000 dollars
off this car.
293
00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:31,670
No. I offered a fair price,
294
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:35,141
and if you don't want the car
for that price, then forget it.
295
00:10:35,141 --> 00:10:36,112
Okay?
296
00:10:36,811 --> 00:10:38,978
- LARRY: Want it?
- No, I don't.
297
00:10:38,978 --> 00:10:40,045
- All right.
- Unbelievable.
298
00:10:40,045 --> 00:10:41,781
What a shit day
this has been, man.
299
00:10:41,781 --> 00:10:43,215
- Yeah.
- Thanks a lot, Larry.
300
00:10:43,215 --> 00:10:47,556
Hey, things could be worse.
You could have a colostomy bag.
301
00:10:49,124 --> 00:10:53,959
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
302
00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,495
RICHARD:
Kiss that car goodbye, huh?
303
00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:56,462
(LARRY EXHALES)
304
00:10:56,462 --> 00:11:01,032
Hey, do you know
if DiCarlo has a colostomy bag?
305
00:11:01,032 --> 00:11:03,970
What? What are you smoking?
What kind of question is that?
306
00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:05,938
Yeah, because I made a bad joke,
307
00:11:05,938 --> 00:11:08,911
and I think I...
I think I struck a nerve.
308
00:11:09,977 --> 00:11:12,178
I'll ask Jeff.
Maybe he'll find out for me.
309
00:11:12,178 --> 00:11:14,150
RICHARD: Yeah, I can't wait
to hear the answer.
310
00:11:21,122 --> 00:11:22,888
I hope we don't run into Mantle.
311
00:11:22,888 --> 00:11:24,256
We'll be fine.
312
00:11:24,256 --> 00:11:26,025
- LARRY: Yeah.
- Hello, gentlemen.
313
00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:27,630
Good afternoon.
How are we doing?
314
00:11:28,597 --> 00:11:29,796
Oh.
315
00:11:29,796 --> 00:11:31,396
Uh, I'll meet you
by the elevator.
316
00:11:31,396 --> 00:11:33,833
- JEFF: All right.
- Mr. David. How are you?
317
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:36,168
- Good. Ah!
- Good to see you.
318
00:11:36,168 --> 00:11:37,602
- LARRY: So...
- Thank you.
319
00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:39,271
- LARRY: Okay.
- VICTOR: Yes?
320
00:11:39,271 --> 00:11:42,108
- Oh, you're a valet.
- Yes, I am.
321
00:11:42,108 --> 00:11:43,675
You didn't like it
when you saw me
322
00:11:43,675 --> 00:11:46,112
toss the keys
to Rodrigo, did you?
323
00:11:46,112 --> 00:11:48,314
I don't wanna get into this.
I'm trying to work.
324
00:11:48,314 --> 00:11:50,983
I saw you look askance, though,
when you saw it.
325
00:11:50,983 --> 00:11:52,686
Okay, I thought it was
kind of a big shot move.
326
00:11:52,686 --> 00:11:53,987
Rodrigo likes to catch.
327
00:11:53,987 --> 00:11:56,255
I doubt that.
It's a safety hazard.
328
00:11:56,255 --> 00:11:57,956
You could've--
You could've hit his eye.
329
00:11:57,956 --> 00:12:01,860
Did you influence the other
jurors against me? Huh?
330
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,196
There are two people
in the valet world, sir.
331
00:12:04,196 --> 00:12:06,966
Handers and tossers.
And you're a tosser.
332
00:12:06,966 --> 00:12:08,968
Okay, Victor,
I'll be back in half an hour.
333
00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:10,136
I gotta go sign some papers
334
00:12:10,136 --> 00:12:12,138
so I can kill my friend
whenever I want to.
335
00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:13,305
And when I come back,
336
00:12:13,305 --> 00:12:16,209
I'd appreciate it
if you'd toss me my keys,
337
00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:18,911
and I'll hand you your tip.
338
00:12:18,911 --> 00:12:20,145
Great, I'll keep it close.
339
00:12:20,145 --> 00:12:22,381
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYS, FADES) ♪
340
00:12:22,381 --> 00:12:23,750
If you'll just sign
right there, sir.
341
00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:25,288
- Right there?
- Yes.
342
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:29,121
- I really like this pen.
- LAWYER: Thank you.
343
00:12:29,121 --> 00:12:32,158
- LARRY: This is a fantastic pen.
- It... It is.
344
00:12:32,158 --> 00:12:35,828
No, but I... I really like it.
345
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:38,297
These pens are--
They sign really nicely.
346
00:12:38,297 --> 00:12:41,834
If you'll just place
one more signature right there.
347
00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:44,403
LARRY: I mean, it's a great pen.
Where do I get a pen like this?
348
00:12:44,403 --> 00:12:48,107
I'm sure you can get that
at any major department store.
349
00:12:48,107 --> 00:12:50,509
You must have
a lot of 'em though, no?
350
00:12:50,509 --> 00:12:52,115
Yeah, we do have a lot.
351
00:12:53,948 --> 00:12:56,215
- Hmm. Okay.
- So congratulations,
352
00:12:56,215 --> 00:12:58,251
you now have
medical power of attorney,
353
00:12:58,251 --> 00:13:00,253
that is the power
to pull the plug.
354
00:13:00,253 --> 00:13:02,956
- Oh! You're a dead man.
- (JEFF CHUCKLES)
355
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:05,191
- Pull that plug!
- Pull it!
356
00:13:05,191 --> 00:13:07,492
LARRY: (LAUGHS)
Pull that plug, nurse!
357
00:13:07,492 --> 00:13:09,962
Okay, if I may just
have that pen back.
358
00:13:09,962 --> 00:13:11,530
- Yeah, sure.
- Thank you. All righty.
359
00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:13,833
Well, we'll have the copy sent
to you very soon.
360
00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:15,835
- Okay.
- LAWYER: Thank you. Take care.
361
00:13:15,835 --> 00:13:17,502
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
362
00:13:17,502 --> 00:13:19,005
Could you believe
he didn't give me that pen?
363
00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:21,006
- I was shocked.
- LARRY: That was unbelievable.
364
00:13:21,006 --> 00:13:23,042
He resisted
the "I like it" gambit.
365
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:24,713
- Yeah. Oh.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
366
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:30,753
Oh! DiCarlo had stomach surgery
a few months ago.
367
00:13:35,623 --> 00:13:37,526
(GROANING) Oy, oy...
368
00:13:39,788 --> 00:13:42,929
He's got a bag.
He's got the bag.
369
00:13:42,929 --> 00:13:45,899
Unbelievable. I... I don't know.
370
00:13:45,899 --> 00:13:47,533
I don't know.
What am I gonna do now?
371
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:50,636
- What do I do?
- Truly, I have no idea.
372
00:13:50,636 --> 00:13:53,072
What can I do for this guy?
Can I buy him a new bag?
373
00:13:53,072 --> 00:13:54,940
Like a really
expensive colostomy--
374
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:57,142
Like a Louis Vuitton
colostomy bag?
375
00:13:57,142 --> 00:13:58,344
- Do they sell those?
- Do they make those?
376
00:13:58,344 --> 00:13:59,578
- I don't know.
- LARRY: Do they make those?
377
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:01,747
- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
378
00:14:01,747 --> 00:14:03,249
LARRY: What do you think
of my zipper like this?
379
00:14:03,249 --> 00:14:04,483
Do you like this look?
380
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:06,052
- That's ridiculous looking.
- I kind of like it.
381
00:14:06,052 --> 00:14:07,920
- I don't like it at all.
- Look, it's two zippers.
382
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,588
- You see?
- No, no, but keep the one down
383
00:14:09,588 --> 00:14:10,890
- and play with the top one.
- LARRY: Yeah.
384
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:12,661
- Where you guys been?
- JEFF: Um...
385
00:14:13,694 --> 00:14:15,227
We went to, uh, Mantle's office.
386
00:14:15,227 --> 00:14:16,929
- We went to Mantle's office.
- The lawyer. Yeah.
387
00:14:16,929 --> 00:14:18,064
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, well, you know.
388
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:19,699
- We went to Mantle's.
- Some stuff to sign.
389
00:14:19,699 --> 00:14:21,266
So, everything go okay there?
390
00:14:21,266 --> 00:14:23,736
- Yeah, yeah, you know,
signed some stuff, and...
- Yeah. Yeah. And by the way,
391
00:14:23,736 --> 00:14:26,171
it went okay 'cause I was there
for a few moments
392
00:14:26,171 --> 00:14:29,375
- that he needed me.
- SUSIE: Oh, you saved the day,
Jeffrey, didn't you?
393
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,010
This has nothing
to do with his career.
394
00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:32,278
You're his manager.
395
00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:35,815
- JEFF: However--
- Yeah, but I value his opinion.
396
00:14:35,815 --> 00:14:37,116
- Really?
- LARRY: Yeah.
397
00:14:37,116 --> 00:14:38,484
- JEFF: At least somebody does.
- You two are something.
398
00:14:38,484 --> 00:14:40,814
You're Frick and Frack,
attached at the hip.
399
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:42,856
Frick and Frack,
the ice skating team...
400
00:14:42,856 --> 00:14:44,023
- SUSIE: Yes!
- ...from the '30s.
401
00:14:44,023 --> 00:14:45,457
A lot of people don't know that.
402
00:14:45,457 --> 00:14:47,793
- Swedish.
- I think they're Swiss.
403
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:50,023
- Oh, yeah, Swiss.
- What, is there a difference?
404
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,697
So, you need him?
He doesn't know the difference
405
00:14:51,697 --> 00:14:53,799
- between Sweden and Switzerland.
- He knows the difference.
406
00:14:53,799 --> 00:14:54,867
He got confused.
407
00:14:54,867 --> 00:14:56,169
- SUSIE: All right.
- I gotta pee.
408
00:14:56,169 --> 00:14:57,570
- SUSIE: Enjoy yourself.
- Okay, Frick. Yeah.
409
00:14:57,570 --> 00:14:58,737
(JEFF CHUCKLES)
410
00:14:58,737 --> 00:15:00,872
You underestimate
his intelligence, you know?
411
00:15:00,872 --> 00:15:03,442
- (SCOFFS)
- But he's a little smarter
than you give him credit for.
412
00:15:03,442 --> 00:15:05,411
I think he's smart.
I don't think he's dumb.
413
00:15:05,411 --> 00:15:06,912
No, let's not go overboard.
414
00:15:06,912 --> 00:15:08,680
He's smarter
than you think he is.
415
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,716
He's not really smart though,
you know.
416
00:15:10,716 --> 00:15:12,555
Ah, he's no genius.
417
00:15:15,656 --> 00:15:18,023
- What are you looking for?
- I'm looking for the cheese.
418
00:15:18,023 --> 00:15:19,959
Oh, it's gone.
419
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,061
- LARRY: What?
- I ate it.
420
00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:23,395
- You ate the Vonderdonk?
- Yeah.
421
00:15:23,395 --> 00:15:24,763
LARRY: What do you mean?
Why'd you eat it?
422
00:15:24,763 --> 00:15:26,232
- It's not your cheese.
- Because it's delicious.
423
00:15:26,232 --> 00:15:27,867
It's not your cheese!
It's my cheese.
424
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:28,934
Well, you left it here
for a day.
425
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:30,235
I left it here to pick up.
426
00:15:30,235 --> 00:15:32,304
I told you I was gonna
pick it up later or tomorrow.
427
00:15:32,304 --> 00:15:35,308
- This is tomorrow.
- It was in my refrigerator,
428
00:15:35,308 --> 00:15:38,712
and I believe possession
is nine-tenths of the law.
429
00:15:38,712 --> 00:15:40,178
What's the other tenth?
430
00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:42,081
- Fucking over your friends
and eating their cheese?
- Yeah, yeah, I just--
431
00:15:42,081 --> 00:15:43,115
Is that the other tenth
of the law, huh?
432
00:15:43,115 --> 00:15:45,084
- Maybe.
- Let me ask you a question.
433
00:15:45,084 --> 00:15:46,585
If I took a nap on your couch,
434
00:15:46,585 --> 00:15:49,122
could you go through my pockets
and roll me over like a drunk?
435
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,456
You make such a big megillah
over nothing.
436
00:15:51,456 --> 00:15:53,588
It's not over nothing. I went
all the way to Beverly Hills
437
00:15:53,588 --> 00:15:54,727
to pick up that cheese!
438
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:57,964
Oh, Jeff, he's complaining
that the Vonderdonk is gone.
439
00:15:57,964 --> 00:15:59,468
- Good cheese.
- Yeah.
440
00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:02,935
- You had it too?
- Uh, it was in a sandwich.
441
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:04,807
Yeah, a melt. I made him a melt.
442
00:16:06,207 --> 00:16:07,506
Who are you people?
443
00:16:07,506 --> 00:16:09,175
You know, I think it's time
for you to leave.
444
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:11,044
Yeah, you know what?
I think you're right.
445
00:16:11,044 --> 00:16:13,211
I think you're right.
Oh, yes. Yeah.
446
00:16:13,211 --> 00:16:15,915
- SUSIE: You're taking
my pomegranate juice?
- LARRY: Yeah. I'm taking it.
447
00:16:15,915 --> 00:16:17,649
I'm taking it. It's mine.
448
00:16:17,649 --> 00:16:21,353
I got the pomegranate juice,
and I'm possessing it!
449
00:16:21,353 --> 00:16:24,824
It's nine-tenths
of the fucking law!
450
00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:28,331
♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
451
00:16:32,699 --> 00:16:35,630
- Oh! Hey, Conan!
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
452
00:16:35,630 --> 00:16:38,237
Hey. Uh, Larry David.
453
00:16:38,237 --> 00:16:40,339
- I know, Larry. Yeah. Yeah.
- LARRY: Uh...
454
00:16:40,339 --> 00:16:42,308
Did Lewis, uh, talk to you?
455
00:16:42,308 --> 00:16:44,776
- No, I didn't hear from Lewis.
- What? Well...
456
00:16:44,776 --> 00:16:48,782
- I... I didn't...
Never heard from Lewis, so...
- (SIGHS) Unbelievable.
457
00:16:48,782 --> 00:16:50,215
I specifically called him up
458
00:16:50,215 --> 00:16:51,785
and asked
if he could get me clearance.
459
00:16:51,785 --> 00:16:54,253
He didn't call me, so...
460
00:16:54,253 --> 00:16:58,191
technically, this is
a uncleared conversation.
461
00:16:58,191 --> 00:17:00,392
- It's like an ambush.
- I don't know what to say.
462
00:17:00,392 --> 00:17:02,361
- I'm very embarrassed.
- CONAN O'BRIEN: Yeah.
463
00:17:02,361 --> 00:17:04,263
I'm a little mortified, frankly.
464
00:17:04,263 --> 00:17:05,398
Why would you go up to someone
465
00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:07,299
if you hadn't gotten the okay
from Lewis?
466
00:17:07,299 --> 00:17:08,967
Because I just assumed
that Lewis
467
00:17:08,967 --> 00:17:11,370
- was gonna get the clearance--
- CONAN: You don't assume
stuff like that.
468
00:17:11,370 --> 00:17:12,638
"Oh, I assume this boat
469
00:17:12,638 --> 00:17:14,706
has plenty of life preservers
for everyone.
470
00:17:14,706 --> 00:17:16,441
Oh, no, it's the Titanic,
it doesn't."
471
00:17:16,441 --> 00:17:18,845
This will go a lot better
once I get some clearance,
472
00:17:18,845 --> 00:17:19,644
- I think.
- CONAN: Well--
473
00:17:19,644 --> 00:17:22,348
Will you think
about the clearance?
474
00:17:22,348 --> 00:17:24,417
Sure. Yeah, I'll think about it.
475
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:25,817
Ah. You're not gonna think
about it.
476
00:17:25,817 --> 00:17:27,653
(CHUCKLES) That's just something
people say...
477
00:17:27,653 --> 00:17:30,256
- You know.
- ...when they wanna say no,
478
00:17:30,256 --> 00:17:32,524
and they let the person down
a little easier.
479
00:17:32,524 --> 00:17:34,193
- CONAN: It's true.
- They say they're gonna
think about it.
480
00:17:34,193 --> 00:17:35,461
I don't know
how many times I say,
481
00:17:35,461 --> 00:17:37,162
"Yeah, I'll think about it,"
and I just wanna get out
482
00:17:37,162 --> 00:17:38,531
of that situation
with the person, yeah.
483
00:17:38,531 --> 00:17:40,065
But you won't spend one second
thinking about it.
484
00:17:40,065 --> 00:17:42,768
Yeah, no. The minute I'm gone,
I'll never think about it again.
485
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:44,736
- LARRY: Totally, totally.
- That's a great observation.
486
00:17:44,736 --> 00:17:46,739
- You see, if I had clearance...
- CONAN: Yeah.
487
00:17:46,739 --> 00:17:48,274
...these are the kind
of observations
488
00:17:48,274 --> 00:17:49,508
- you'd be hearing all the time.
- (SIGHS)
489
00:17:49,508 --> 00:17:51,878
You should talk to Lewis.
All right?
490
00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:52,844
- Yeah, yeah.
- CONAN: We good?
491
00:17:52,844 --> 00:17:54,379
Yeah. Well, look,
you got one of those, uh,
492
00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:57,482
- firehouse dogs, huh?
- He's never been in a firehouse.
493
00:17:57,482 --> 00:17:59,951
- It's a stereotype.
- Can you stereotype a dog?
494
00:17:59,951 --> 00:18:03,089
Yes, you can stereotype a dog.
"Oh, that's a golden.
495
00:18:03,089 --> 00:18:04,823
He must be
a really friendly dog."
496
00:18:04,823 --> 00:18:08,060
"Oh, there's a Dalmatian.
He must live in a firehouse.
497
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,761
He goes to fires."
498
00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:12,331
This is the kind of conversation
I'm trying to avoid.
499
00:18:12,331 --> 00:18:14,200
There's a reason
this protocol's been around
500
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:18,003
since early sound days,
1932, '33.
501
00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:20,873
I read an article about somebody
approaching Fatty Arbuckle
502
00:18:20,873 --> 00:18:22,073
without clearance,
503
00:18:22,073 --> 00:18:24,710
and Fatty Arbuckle just broke
a beer bottle over his head.
504
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,011
Yeah, it's been a while
since I've heard
a Fatty Arbuckle reference.
505
00:18:27,011 --> 00:18:29,348
What, did you just come
from Margaret Dumont's house?
506
00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:31,950
- Okay.
- Lewis.
507
00:18:31,950 --> 00:18:33,485
Lewis. I thought I had
the clearance. I'll--
508
00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:35,321
There's a system, and we have
a system for a reason.
509
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:37,590
- I'll go through the system.
- CONAN: Yeah. Okay.
510
00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,887
♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
511
00:18:39,887 --> 00:18:41,664
- Call Lewis!
- LARRY: Yeah!
512
00:18:44,465 --> 00:18:46,431
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
513
00:18:46,431 --> 00:18:48,768
You know, anyway,
I just wanna apologize
514
00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:51,103
for the other day
and what I said,
515
00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:54,573
and things just fly out
of my mouth without thinking.
516
00:18:54,573 --> 00:18:55,842
I've done it my whole life.
517
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:57,809
You say a lot
of stupid things, Larry.
518
00:18:57,809 --> 00:19:01,208
- Not all jokes work.
- Not a joke to me.
519
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,749
I've been going through
some rough times lately.
520
00:19:03,749 --> 00:19:06,152
You know, you know
about my fucking divorce.
521
00:19:06,152 --> 00:19:08,052
- Yeah.
- And all the theaters I owned,
522
00:19:08,052 --> 00:19:09,588
- they're going under. I mean...
- (LARRY GROANS) Yeah.
523
00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:10,990
Nobody's coming back
to the theaters.
524
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:12,019
It's terrible, yeah.
525
00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:14,259
And then health issues,
and I'm...
526
00:19:14,259 --> 00:19:16,362
I don't know, I'm just...
527
00:19:16,362 --> 00:19:18,697
I'm hanging on by a thread,
is what I'm saying.
528
00:19:18,697 --> 00:19:21,167
- And then--
- Okay, you know what?
529
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,635
You know what?
I'm gonna buy the car.
530
00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:25,371
I'm gonna buy it.
I'm buying the car.
531
00:19:25,371 --> 00:19:27,006
- Larry, you don't want this car.
- LARRY: No.
532
00:19:27,006 --> 00:19:27,974
- I want the car.
- Come on.
533
00:19:27,974 --> 00:19:29,375
- I'm gonna buy the car.
- You wanna buy this car?
534
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:31,376
I'm gonna buy it.
Yeah. I'm buying the car.
535
00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:33,312
At the price
that I gave to Richard?
536
00:19:33,312 --> 00:19:34,814
- The full price?
- Yeah, yeah.
537
00:19:34,814 --> 00:19:35,981
- MIKE: Yeah?
- Yeah, the full price.
538
00:19:35,981 --> 00:19:36,981
You know... (SIGHS)
539
00:19:36,981 --> 00:19:40,119
So I drive around,
there's an odor in the car.
540
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,588
That's nothing compared
to what you're going through.
541
00:19:42,588 --> 00:19:43,822
I know what
you're talking about, the smell,
542
00:19:43,822 --> 00:19:46,392
but it's a smell
that you learn to live with.
543
00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:48,694
Yeah, well,
if you can learn to live with
544
00:19:48,694 --> 00:19:52,764
what you're living with,
uh, you know, I could...
545
00:19:52,764 --> 00:19:54,466
I could live with that,
you know?
546
00:19:54,466 --> 00:19:56,972
Yeah, well,
we all got a lot of baggage.
547
00:19:59,774 --> 00:20:00,472
Yeah.
548
00:20:00,472 --> 00:20:02,978
All right. Hey!
Here is your key.
549
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:07,413
You can Venmo me the money,
all right?
550
00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:09,715
You can drive it out of here.
Get right in.
551
00:20:09,715 --> 00:20:12,517
- You're gonna love it.
- LARRY: Okay.
552
00:20:12,517 --> 00:20:14,987
Uh... hey, could you
do me a favor
553
00:20:14,987 --> 00:20:17,826
and follow me home in my car,
and I'll pay for your Uber back?
554
00:20:18,492 --> 00:20:19,795
I'd rather not.
555
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,565
Interesting. Okay.
556
00:20:24,031 --> 00:20:26,399
Yeah. Okay.
You'd rather not. (CHUCKLES)
557
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:29,435
You'd rather not.
I'll come back and pick it up.
558
00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:31,174
- That's a good idea.
- Okay.
559
00:20:34,042 --> 00:20:36,179
- (SNIFFS)
- All good?
560
00:20:37,512 --> 00:20:39,278
- Yeah, yeah.
- Good.
561
00:20:39,278 --> 00:20:43,181
(ENGINE REVS, SPUTTERS)
562
00:20:43,181 --> 00:20:45,888
When you're at a red light,
just keep your foot on the gas.
563
00:20:46,587 --> 00:20:48,720
Oh, and that seat belt.
564
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,356
Yeah, you're gonna have
to get that fixed.
565
00:20:50,356 --> 00:20:54,293
- It's against the law.
- Not in 1973.
566
00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:58,701
♪ (UPBEAT WHIMSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪
567
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,909
- Yeah. This is it.
- All right.
568
00:21:09,909 --> 00:21:12,148
- Love that Vonderdonk.
- Oh, good stuff.
569
00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:18,654
(HUMMING)
570
00:21:27,795 --> 00:21:29,561
Look at the front.
Very presidential.
571
00:21:29,561 --> 00:21:30,996
Look at that.
Look at that grill.
572
00:21:30,996 --> 00:21:31,998
Go ahead. Sit in it.
573
00:21:31,998 --> 00:21:33,869
LEON BLACK: (CHUCKLES)
Let me see how it feels.
574
00:21:34,436 --> 00:21:35,738
Ah.
575
00:21:37,538 --> 00:21:39,438
Okay. This is a White man car
right here,
576
00:21:39,438 --> 00:21:40,439
I'll tell you that much.
577
00:21:40,439 --> 00:21:41,773
Who'd you get it from,
Mr. Peanut?
578
00:21:41,773 --> 00:21:43,609
The motherfucker
with the monocle and a top hat?
579
00:21:43,609 --> 00:21:45,344
- Huh?
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
580
00:21:45,344 --> 00:21:47,613
(SNIFFS) You're right though.
581
00:21:47,613 --> 00:21:49,949
There is a fucking funky smell
in here.
582
00:21:49,949 --> 00:21:51,016
Right?
583
00:21:51,016 --> 00:21:52,718
Like someone's been smoking
for years in this bitch.
584
00:21:52,718 --> 00:21:53,986
- Yeah, it's like... (SNIFFS)
- Yeah, I know.
585
00:21:53,986 --> 00:21:56,455
- That's all I smell.
- (CAR HORN HONKING)
586
00:21:56,455 --> 00:21:59,258
- Come over here.
- Oh, great.
587
00:21:59,258 --> 00:22:03,029
Hey, did Marilyn Monroe
fuck JFK in a car like this?
588
00:22:03,029 --> 00:22:04,730
- Come here, you bastard.
- LARRY: What?
589
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:06,865
- You son of a bitch.
- LARRY: What? Okay. Can I--
590
00:22:06,865 --> 00:22:09,435
- You son of a bitch.
That's my car.
- Can-- Let me explain.
591
00:22:09,435 --> 00:22:11,636
- That's my car.
- Let me explain, okay?
592
00:22:11,636 --> 00:22:15,741
The guy actually has
a colostomy bag,
593
00:22:15,741 --> 00:22:17,676
- and I felt terrible.
- Oh. Come on. Please.
594
00:22:17,676 --> 00:22:19,845
I felt so guilty and awful,
I had to buy the car.
595
00:22:19,845 --> 00:22:22,348
I'm getting my car back.
This horse shit story is--
596
00:22:22,348 --> 00:22:23,782
It means nothing to me.
597
00:22:23,782 --> 00:22:26,853
- I don't know if it's even true.
- Let me ask you this question.
598
00:22:26,853 --> 00:22:28,487
Why didn't I get clearance
for Conan?
599
00:22:28,487 --> 00:22:29,788
Where was my Conan clearance?
600
00:22:29,788 --> 00:22:31,690
I thought you talked to him.
I had no clearance.
601
00:22:31,690 --> 00:22:33,825
You left me hanging there
like an idiot.
602
00:22:33,825 --> 00:22:36,228
I just want that car.
You owe it to me.
603
00:22:36,228 --> 00:22:38,965
You wanna buy the car?
You can buy the car back off me.
604
00:22:38,965 --> 00:22:41,067
Yeah, but hold on a second,
I want the car,
605
00:22:41,067 --> 00:22:43,269
but I want
3,000-dollar smell discount.
606
00:22:43,269 --> 00:22:45,771
I paid full price.
I didn't get a smell discount.
607
00:22:45,771 --> 00:22:47,273
I mean, there's still an odor
in the car,
608
00:22:47,273 --> 00:22:48,502
isn't there, Mr. David?
609
00:22:48,502 --> 00:22:49,874
You're never gonna smell it.
You got long COVID.
610
00:22:49,874 --> 00:22:51,277
You're not smelling,
you're not tasting.
611
00:22:51,277 --> 00:22:53,345
But I'm making improvements
in all those areas.
612
00:22:53,345 --> 00:22:56,143
- You'll improve your smell?
- Yeah, I might get surgery.
613
00:22:56,143 --> 00:22:57,616
You can't get surgery for smell.
614
00:22:57,616 --> 00:22:59,085
- Yes, you can.
- They got smell surgery?
615
00:22:59,085 --> 00:23:00,819
There's a smell clinic,
but it's in Switzerland.
616
00:23:00,819 --> 00:23:02,989
I'm not sure if I'm gonna go.
But the point is,
617
00:23:02,989 --> 00:23:04,956
I want
the 3,000-dollar discount,
618
00:23:04,956 --> 00:23:06,658
and I want my car,
and that's the end of it.
619
00:23:06,658 --> 00:23:09,423
Okay, fine, but you gotta
drive me to DiCarlo's house
to pick up my car.
620
00:23:09,423 --> 00:23:11,264
Okay, we're gonna go
in my little new beauty
621
00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:12,864
over there, okay, babe?
622
00:23:12,864 --> 00:23:15,100
- Did you babe me?
- RICHARD: I babed you.
623
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:16,168
Don't babe me.
624
00:23:16,168 --> 00:23:21,873
Do not, under any circumstances,
babe me ever, ever.
625
00:23:21,873 --> 00:23:24,671
You think I feel good about it?
It slipped out.
626
00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:28,351
- I'll Venmo you the money.
- ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
627
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:33,753
Hey, I'm just gonna use
the charging station.
628
00:23:33,753 --> 00:23:35,124
AL: Yeah, you're good.
629
00:23:42,596 --> 00:23:44,491
- AL: How you doing?
- Toss?
630
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,598
- Yeah, come on.
- I don't wanna be a big shot.
631
00:23:46,598 --> 00:23:47,967
You're not a big shot.
Come on, toss it.
632
00:23:47,967 --> 00:23:49,535
- All right.
- Awesome. There we go.
633
00:23:49,535 --> 00:23:50,903
- Fun, right?
- AL: It's fun!
634
00:23:50,903 --> 00:23:53,842
- Of course!
- He's a tosser.
635
00:23:55,009 --> 00:23:56,108
CHRISTOPHER:
All right, so, Larry,
636
00:23:56,108 --> 00:23:57,909
I'm going through
these jury questionnaires,
637
00:23:57,909 --> 00:24:01,047
and, uh, they keep saying,
"Less than cordial."
638
00:24:01,047 --> 00:24:04,478
Um, the word "repugnant"
keeps coming up.
639
00:24:04,478 --> 00:24:07,320
Here's one that says
you're "surly," "petty."
640
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,588
I think we have to maybe...
641
00:24:09,588 --> 00:24:11,958
- We have stuff to work on.
- LARRY: Yeah,
that's what I'm thinking.
642
00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:13,525
- You know?
- I told you that juror, Vic,
643
00:24:13,525 --> 00:24:14,861
didn't like the key toss.
644
00:24:14,861 --> 00:24:16,028
- I told you that?
- Yeah, yeah.
645
00:24:16,028 --> 00:24:18,464
He could've influenced
all those jurors.
646
00:24:18,464 --> 00:24:20,666
I don't know
that one person like that
647
00:24:20,666 --> 00:24:22,801
can influence
all the other jurors.
648
00:24:22,801 --> 00:24:24,370
- You ever see 12 Angry Men?
- Yeah.
649
00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:26,672
Well, one person, Henry Fonda,
influenced the whole jury.
650
00:24:26,672 --> 00:24:28,207
First of all,
this isn't 12 Angry Men.
651
00:24:28,207 --> 00:24:30,109
There's one angry man.
He's sitting across from me.
652
00:24:30,109 --> 00:24:31,743
That valet,
he didn't like a catch,
653
00:24:31,743 --> 00:24:33,312
which I don't understand, frankly.
654
00:24:33,312 --> 00:24:34,313
Everybody loves a catch.
655
00:24:34,313 --> 00:24:35,814
- I like a catch if it's fun.
- LARRY: Of course.
656
00:24:35,814 --> 00:24:36,949
- CHRISTOPHER: A catch--
- Catching is fun.
657
00:24:36,949 --> 00:24:38,517
I know,
but not if it's a surprise!
658
00:24:38,517 --> 00:24:41,320
- It could hit me in the face!
- It wasn't a surprise catch!
659
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,321
That's part of the job!
660
00:24:42,321 --> 00:24:44,156
You're a valet, you toss,
you catch, you toss!
661
00:24:44,156 --> 00:24:47,259
No, the part of the job
of being a valet is taking keys,
662
00:24:47,259 --> 00:24:50,496
not having keys thrown at you
all day long.
663
00:24:50,496 --> 00:24:53,799
Look, Larry, can't you see
that there's a pattern here?
664
00:24:53,799 --> 00:24:56,601
You're rubbing people
the wrong way.
665
00:24:56,601 --> 00:24:58,703
Don't you see that?
Susie, for example,
666
00:24:58,703 --> 00:25:00,339
just told me the thing
about the cheese.
667
00:25:00,339 --> 00:25:02,674
- (SCOFFS)
- You left cheese there
and you're upset
668
00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:05,111
that she ate it?
What is that about?
669
00:25:05,111 --> 00:25:06,612
- You just said it.
- I know, but--
670
00:25:06,612 --> 00:25:07,913
I left cheese in her house.
671
00:25:07,913 --> 00:25:09,714
- CHRISTOPHER: Why--
- Vonderdonk cheese, by the way.
672
00:25:09,714 --> 00:25:10,816
- CHRISTOPHER: Yeah.
- And she ate it.
673
00:25:10,816 --> 00:25:11,918
Possession is nine-tenths
of the law.
674
00:25:11,918 --> 00:25:13,452
If you leave it there,
it's hers.
675
00:25:13,452 --> 00:25:15,788
Oh, possession!
That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard, possession.
676
00:25:15,788 --> 00:25:17,155
- Why? Why?
- What does that even mean?
677
00:25:17,155 --> 00:25:19,258
She took my fucking cheese.
That's what means something.
678
00:25:19,258 --> 00:25:22,595
But you left it there,
so now it's Susie's cheese.
679
00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:24,497
I can't believe
that you're defending
680
00:25:24,497 --> 00:25:25,664
the cheese eater.
681
00:25:25,664 --> 00:25:28,567
You have an issue
with keys and cheese.
682
00:25:28,567 --> 00:25:29,936
You know what else
I have an issue with?
683
00:25:29,936 --> 00:25:31,670
- CHRISTOPHER: What's that?
- You.
684
00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:33,938
I want a lawyer
who sides with me
685
00:25:33,938 --> 00:25:36,808
- in the cheese dispute.
- I'm not here to defend cheese.
686
00:25:36,808 --> 00:25:39,245
I'm here to defend
a constitutional issue.
687
00:25:39,245 --> 00:25:42,351
I'm gonna find me a lawyer
who's gonna take my cheese side.
688
00:25:48,522 --> 00:25:49,958
- Hey.
- CHRISTOPHER: Yeah?
689
00:25:50,224 --> 00:25:51,423
Catch.
690
00:25:51,423 --> 00:25:54,861
- (DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)
- LARRY: Ziggy Zeckelman!
Not too late!
691
00:25:54,861 --> 00:25:56,760
{\an8}♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
692
00:25:57,698 --> 00:25:59,835
- AL: Oh, there he is. Hey.
- Hey.
693
00:26:00,836 --> 00:26:02,766
- Huh? That was fun.
- It's fun.
694
00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,203
For you.
695
00:26:04,203 --> 00:26:06,671
- There you go. Thank you.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
696
00:26:06,671 --> 00:26:09,912
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
697
00:26:10,478 --> 00:26:11,944
LARRY: Oh, God, Susie.
698
00:26:11,944 --> 00:26:14,883
{\an8}Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
699
00:26:17,585 --> 00:26:19,455
Oh. What the... (GASPS)
700
00:26:21,089 --> 00:26:23,556
It was you! You pulled the plug?
701
00:26:23,556 --> 00:26:24,589
My car's dying!
702
00:26:24,589 --> 00:26:25,758
- (CHUCKLES)
- LARRY: What an asshole!
703
00:26:25,758 --> 00:26:28,264
Hey, you tossed,
you lost, buddy.
704
00:26:29,697 --> 00:26:31,764
- (ENGINE STARTS)
- (DASHBOARD BEEPS)
705
00:26:31,764 --> 00:26:33,500
LARRY: Oh, my God!
706
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:36,105
(TIRES SCREECHING)
707
00:26:37,572 --> 00:26:38,804
(PHONE RINGING)
708
00:26:38,804 --> 00:26:42,578
Jeff! Jeff, call me!
Jeff, pick up!
709
00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:44,847
Jeff!
710
00:26:46,448 --> 00:26:47,811
Shit.
711
00:26:49,016 --> 00:26:51,584
- Oh, my God. Oh, no.
- (DASHBOARD BUZZES)
712
00:26:51,584 --> 00:26:56,755
(GROANS, SIGHS) Oh, my God.
713
00:26:56,755 --> 00:26:59,428
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
CONCLUDES) ♪
714
00:27:00,427 --> 00:27:03,466
- ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (GROANS)
715
00:27:06,701 --> 00:27:07,936
What?
716
00:27:14,775 --> 00:27:17,913
♪ (SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
717
00:27:18,379 --> 00:27:19,645
Hey! Hey!
718
00:27:19,645 --> 00:27:21,013
- Conan! Conan!
- (BANGS ON WINDOW)
719
00:27:21,013 --> 00:27:22,815
- LARRY: Conan!
- Jesus!
720
00:27:22,815 --> 00:27:24,149
I know, I don't have clearance.
721
00:27:24,149 --> 00:27:25,785
No clearance.
I have no clearance.
722
00:27:25,785 --> 00:27:27,119
My car, the battery died.
My car--
723
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,822
- This is my house.
- No. Oh, I understand.
724
00:27:29,822 --> 00:27:31,623
My car broke down.
It's an emergency.
725
00:27:31,623 --> 00:27:33,259
This is completely unauthorized.
726
00:27:33,259 --> 00:27:35,494
Yeah, can't I get an emergency
clearance exemption?
727
00:27:35,494 --> 00:27:38,497
- There's no such thing!
- LARRY: You can-- You--
You can make--
728
00:27:38,497 --> 00:27:40,166
You gotta go through the levels!
729
00:27:40,166 --> 00:27:43,867
I can't! It's an emergency!
Can I borrow your car?
730
00:27:45,473 --> 00:27:47,907
If I don't get to Jeff's house,
she's gonna see those papers,
731
00:27:47,907 --> 00:27:49,075
and she's gonna kill us.
732
00:27:49,075 --> 00:27:51,410
You don't know
what this woman's capable of.
733
00:27:51,410 --> 00:27:54,813
All right, I don't know
who these people are.
734
00:27:54,813 --> 00:27:56,949
I'll get you the keys.
You can use the car.
735
00:27:56,949 --> 00:27:59,151
- All right? Yeah.
- What? Oh! Oh!
736
00:27:59,151 --> 00:28:00,352
You got something
on your glasses.
737
00:28:00,352 --> 00:28:01,854
Oh. Oh, thank you!
738
00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:03,989
- That's so nice of you.
- CONAN: Oh!
739
00:28:03,989 --> 00:28:06,295
- LARRY: Thank you.
- They're in my pocket.
740
00:28:07,428 --> 00:28:10,062
Ah! My eye!
741
00:28:10,062 --> 00:28:12,965
Why'd you toss?
Who told you to toss? (GROANS)
742
00:28:12,965 --> 00:28:16,102
- It's fun.
- Oh, my God! (SCREAMS)
743
00:28:16,102 --> 00:28:19,903
♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
744
00:28:32,987 --> 00:28:35,919
- We're done here.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
745
00:28:48,302 --> 00:28:50,769
- (SIGHS)
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
746
00:28:50,769 --> 00:28:53,840
LARRY: So, it turns out DiCarlo
did not have a colostomy bag.
747
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,507
He acted like he had a bag.
748
00:28:55,507 --> 00:28:59,211
How does somebody act
like they have a colostomy bag?
749
00:28:59,211 --> 00:29:00,880
LARRY: (OVER PHONE)
He had this hangdog
750
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,782
"I shit in a bag"
look about him,
751
00:29:02,782 --> 00:29:04,583
and he took me to the cleaners.
752
00:29:04,583 --> 00:29:06,018
How's, uh, how's the car?
753
00:29:06,018 --> 00:29:08,020
RICHARD: It's a beauty
on the inside and out.
754
00:29:08,020 --> 00:29:10,189
And it makes me so happy
that I saved money.
755
00:29:10,189 --> 00:29:11,657
- Hmm.
- And I'm picking up
a beautiful girl
756
00:29:11,657 --> 00:29:14,226
- who's really smart and--
- Oh, what,
you got a date tonight?
757
00:29:14,226 --> 00:29:16,195
RICHARD: She's hip.
She laughs at my jokes.
758
00:29:16,195 --> 00:29:17,929
You know?
I mean, she could be the one.
759
00:29:17,929 --> 00:29:21,633
It's hard to believe
that at your advanced age,
760
00:29:21,633 --> 00:29:25,404
you are still throwing around
terms like "the one."
761
00:29:25,404 --> 00:29:27,940
What, am I supposed to just
give up and crawl under a rock?
762
00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:29,943
Yes! Give up. There's no hope.
763
00:29:29,943 --> 00:29:32,611
Larry, this is my first date
with this woman.
764
00:29:32,611 --> 00:29:34,180
I have such a crush on her,
765
00:29:34,180 --> 00:29:36,983
and I think she's gonna fall
desperately in love with me.
766
00:29:36,983 --> 00:29:38,384
LARRY:
Which asylum are you driving to?
767
00:29:38,384 --> 00:29:40,587
The one in Long Beach
or downtown?
768
00:29:40,587 --> 00:29:42,024
RICHARD: Ciao.
769
00:29:43,724 --> 00:29:45,761
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
770
00:29:51,927 --> 00:29:55,271
What the hell?
Where the hell's the cheese?
771
00:29:57,773 --> 00:30:00,075
(HUMMING)
772
00:30:08,216 --> 00:30:10,786
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
773
00:30:17,525 --> 00:30:18,490
- RICHARD: Wow.
- Hi.
774
00:30:18,490 --> 00:30:20,259
RICHARD: Hiya, beautiful.
Good to see you.
775
00:30:20,259 --> 00:30:22,796
- Good to see you.
- Thanks for coming out tonight--
776
00:30:22,796 --> 00:30:24,797
- (SNIFFS)
- RICHARD: What?
777
00:30:24,797 --> 00:30:28,433
Oh, God!
It fucking stinks in here.
778
00:30:28,433 --> 00:30:30,002
- What? What are you
talking about?
- (SNIFFS) Oh!
779
00:30:30,002 --> 00:30:31,337
It doesn't stink in here.
What are you ta--
780
00:30:31,337 --> 00:30:32,872
- Hey, where you going?
- Oh!
781
00:30:32,872 --> 00:30:34,941
- Hey, what's wrong?
- Oh, man!
782
00:30:34,941 --> 00:30:36,976
- RICHARD: Hey! Come on back!
- (WOMAN GROANS)
783
00:30:36,976 --> 00:30:39,345
Jesus! What the...
What the fuck, man?
784
00:30:39,345 --> 00:30:43,415
(SNIFFS) Oh, Christ. (SNIFFS)
785
00:30:43,415 --> 00:30:48,524
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
786
00:31:50,484 --> 00:31:53,522
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪