1 00:00:04,955 --> 00:00:08,222 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:12,063 --> 00:00:13,929 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 3 00:00:13,929 --> 00:00:16,969 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Huh? 4 00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:27,942 Hello? 5 00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:30,279 GINA GROSSBARD: Larry, it's Gina Grossbard. 6 00:00:30,279 --> 00:00:33,048 - Stu had a stroke. - Who? 7 00:00:33,048 --> 00:00:34,620 GINA: Stu Grossbard. 8 00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:36,855 From the club. 9 00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:38,587 What? 10 00:00:38,587 --> 00:00:40,322 GINA: I thought you'd want to know. 11 00:00:40,322 --> 00:00:43,396 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 12 00:00:44,562 --> 00:00:46,399 Why the fuck'd she call me? 13 00:00:47,632 --> 00:00:48,767 (SCOFFS) 14 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,001 Yeah, it's like at three o'clock in the morning. 15 00:00:52,001 --> 00:00:53,502 I don't even know the guy hardly. 16 00:00:53,502 --> 00:00:55,504 - It's ridiculous. - So crazy. It's nuts. 17 00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:59,075 What am I doing on that list of middle-of-the-night calls? 18 00:00:59,075 --> 00:01:00,175 I don't understand it. 19 00:01:00,175 --> 00:01:02,711 Better you than me. That's insane. 20 00:01:02,711 --> 00:01:04,045 - The worst part? - FREDDY FUNKHOUSER: Yeah? 21 00:01:04,045 --> 00:01:07,516 Now I'm on a text chain with his wife and the family. 22 00:01:07,516 --> 00:01:08,784 Those chains. I've been on 'em. 23 00:01:08,784 --> 00:01:10,580 - They're the worst thing ever. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 24 00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:12,954 - (SCOFFS) - Wait a second. I bet this is another one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 25 00:01:12,954 --> 00:01:15,224 - The chain? That's crazy. - LARRY DAVID: It's-- (CHUCKLES) It's the chain. 26 00:01:15,224 --> 00:01:16,558 "Hope you're feeling better today. 27 00:01:16,558 --> 00:01:19,228 My niece just drew this for Stu." 28 00:01:19,228 --> 00:01:20,429 - FREDDY: Yeah. - Look. 29 00:01:20,429 --> 00:01:21,930 Look. Look at the picture. 30 00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:24,033 - You gotta heart that. Just heart it. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 31 00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:25,867 Oh, another one. Holy cow. 32 00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:27,436 - It's a nuisance. - It's never gonna stop. 33 00:01:27,436 --> 00:01:29,772 LARRY: And I can't just drop out, they'll see I left. 34 00:01:29,772 --> 00:01:30,939 Listen to this. 35 00:01:30,939 --> 00:01:33,542 "My family and I are here whenever anyone needs anything. 36 00:01:33,542 --> 00:01:36,145 Martha's beef stew is absolute perfection 37 00:01:36,145 --> 00:01:37,879 and really heals all wounds." 38 00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:40,649 It's really, honestly, like, the lowest form of human communication. 39 00:01:40,649 --> 00:01:42,451 Hey, guess what? I got a date tonight. 40 00:01:42,451 --> 00:01:44,220 - Wow. - With an artist. 41 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,788 - Really? - LARRY: Yeah. She's painting me 42 00:01:45,788 --> 00:01:47,891 as part of a series of old Jewish comedians 43 00:01:47,891 --> 00:01:49,124 called Wisenheimers. 44 00:01:49,124 --> 00:01:51,193 - I think Richard sat for that. - LARRY: Yeah, yeah, I think so. 45 00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:53,362 Yeah, he said she was cute. He asked her out, but he said it didn't go anywhere. 46 00:01:53,362 --> 00:01:55,631 Oh, well, you know. 47 00:01:55,631 --> 00:01:57,633 - Maybe he should've... - Some of us have it. 48 00:01:57,633 --> 00:01:59,868 ...gone to Atlanta and given some water to someone 49 00:01:59,868 --> 00:02:03,272 - in the voting line, maybe. Huh? - Perhaps he should've given some water. 50 00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:05,640 - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - Dig this. 51 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,145 Susie has got a textile convention 52 00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,446 in North Carolina, 53 00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:13,182 - and she wants me to go with her. - What? 54 00:02:13,182 --> 00:02:14,984 Yep. What's a textile convention? 55 00:02:14,984 --> 00:02:16,452 You're not going to that. That's ridiculous. 56 00:02:16,452 --> 00:02:17,852 - No, she already bought tickets. - What? 57 00:02:17,852 --> 00:02:19,888 And dig this. Because it's last minute, 58 00:02:19,888 --> 00:02:22,224 - middle fucking seats. - Oh, you can't go. 59 00:02:22,224 --> 00:02:23,392 JEFF GREENE: How am I gonna get out? 60 00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:25,030 - Guys, can I do this here? - Oh, so sorry. 61 00:02:28,094 --> 00:02:29,999 - Ugh. The whole day. - JEFF: Eh. 62 00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:31,667 - You're not having the greatest game. - No. 63 00:02:31,667 --> 00:02:34,407 - All right, I'm gonna give you that. Pick it up. - No cigar. 64 00:02:35,006 --> 00:02:35,972 She's insane. 65 00:02:35,972 --> 00:02:38,144 LARRY: No, you gotta get out of that thing. 66 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,510 What? What the hell? 67 00:02:41,510 --> 00:02:42,644 - The fuck's he doing? - What? 68 00:02:42,644 --> 00:02:44,146 - Are you drinking? - What is that? 69 00:02:44,146 --> 00:02:45,247 Just a little swing juice. 70 00:02:45,247 --> 00:02:46,815 - Swing juice? - FREDDY: Yeah. 71 00:02:46,815 --> 00:02:49,218 - What's in it? - I go with iced tea and a little bit of just vodka. 72 00:02:49,218 --> 00:02:50,819 You look like a derelict with that thing. 73 00:02:50,819 --> 00:02:53,222 You mean a gentleman. Here's looking up your address. 74 00:02:53,222 --> 00:02:54,990 That's bizarre. (SNIFFS) 75 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:56,353 Hey, you know what? 76 00:02:56,353 --> 00:02:58,393 I think I got a way to get out of this trip for you. 77 00:02:58,393 --> 00:03:00,495 - How? Yeah. - You have this dream, okay? 78 00:03:00,495 --> 00:03:02,764 And it's like a nightmare about the plane. 79 00:03:02,764 --> 00:03:04,500 And in the dream, you're thinking, 80 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:05,834 "Oh, I'm on a-- the middle seat. 81 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:08,137 Can't breathe. It's too tight. No room." 82 00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,072 She'll wake up, 83 00:03:09,072 --> 00:03:10,405 and you'll tell her what the dream's about, 84 00:03:10,405 --> 00:03:11,840 and she'll be very concerned about you, 85 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,509 and she'll say, "Eh, okay, don't go." 86 00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:15,010 - I like it. That's good. - LARRY: Huh? Is that good? 87 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:17,207 - That's pretty great. Yeah. - It's a dream scheme. Let-- 88 00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:19,918 - Let's see you do it. - All right. Uh... 89 00:03:20,385 --> 00:03:22,417 (MOANS) 90 00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:26,589 - (WHIMPERS) - (LAUGHS) 91 00:03:26,589 --> 00:03:29,391 Middle seat! Can't breathe. Oh, they're squeezing me! 92 00:03:29,391 --> 00:03:30,592 Wake up! Wake up! 93 00:03:30,592 --> 00:03:31,727 - (SCREAMING) - Wake up! 94 00:03:31,727 --> 00:03:33,796 - Jeffrey, wake up! Wake up! - What? What? Oh. 95 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,798 You were having a bad dream. What's going on? 96 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,400 I was having a panic attack. I... 97 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,771 (IMITATES SUSIE GREENE) You're not going on the trip. I'm gonna go. You stay home. 98 00:03:41,771 --> 00:03:43,333 - Do you like that? - I love it. 99 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:45,674 - LARRY: It's worth a shot. - It's worth a shot. 100 00:03:45,674 --> 00:03:47,576 LARRY: All right. Pretty good so far, huh? 101 00:03:47,576 --> 00:03:49,578 - RENEE HOLCOMB: So far. - You wanna be on my talk show? 102 00:03:49,578 --> 00:03:51,648 - Of course. - All right, we're back. 103 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,681 (LAUGHS) 104 00:03:52,681 --> 00:03:55,618 Our next guest is a young artist from Los Angeles. 105 00:03:55,618 --> 00:03:57,247 Her name's Renee Holcomb. 106 00:03:57,247 --> 00:03:58,988 Please give her a nice round of applause. 107 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,189 - Yeah. - (LAUGHS) 108 00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:01,923 - LARRY: Renee, welcome. - Thank you. 109 00:04:01,923 --> 00:04:04,493 I understand you have an art show coming up soon. 110 00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:06,796 I do. It's my Wisenheimer series. 111 00:04:06,796 --> 00:04:08,663 Now, did you paint Larry David? 112 00:04:08,663 --> 00:04:09,965 - RENEE: I did. I did. - (CHUCKLES) 113 00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:12,468 I heard he's just an incredible person. 114 00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:13,702 And an incredible face. 115 00:04:13,702 --> 00:04:17,573 You know? It's Picasso-esque. You know, a little asymmetrical. 116 00:04:17,573 --> 00:04:20,642 - Asymmetrical? - Well, you know, just slightly. 117 00:04:20,642 --> 00:04:23,412 All right. Thank you for being on our show tonight. 118 00:04:23,412 --> 00:04:24,813 - (RENEE LAUGHS) - And our next guest... 119 00:04:24,813 --> 00:04:29,252 Okay, I've got the key lime pie and the herbal tea. 120 00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:30,319 - Thank you. - Enjoy. 121 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:31,782 Well, thanks for being on my show. 122 00:04:31,782 --> 00:04:33,058 It's a pleasure. 123 00:04:34,059 --> 00:04:35,060 Mm. 124 00:04:38,229 --> 00:04:39,832 - Mm. Hold on. - No good? 125 00:04:42,466 --> 00:04:44,670 - Oh, God. Mm. Mm-mm. - Let me taste it. 126 00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:47,804 What do you think? 127 00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:50,038 - Ugh! Ugh! - Yeah. Right? 128 00:04:50,038 --> 00:04:52,841 - Oh, it's disgusting. Excuse me. - It's terrible. Tart. 129 00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:55,578 - Hi. Yeah. - I'm sorry to bother you. 130 00:04:55,578 --> 00:04:57,546 - This pie. - You don't like it? 131 00:04:57,546 --> 00:04:59,114 - It's really awful. Yeah. - Oh. It really-- 132 00:04:59,114 --> 00:05:01,550 - Inedible. Really. - It looked like you were both enjoying it. 133 00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:03,518 The grimace looked like we were enjoying it? 134 00:05:03,518 --> 00:05:04,720 I'm gonna get this off the bill for you. 135 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,122 - Thank you. - Perfect. Thank you. 136 00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:07,356 Everything else has been lovely. 137 00:05:07,356 --> 00:05:08,723 Looked like we were enjoying it? 138 00:05:08,723 --> 00:05:11,293 I'll show you what it looks like when I enjoy something. 139 00:05:11,293 --> 00:05:14,058 - What do you wanna do after this, by the way? - (LAUGHS) 140 00:05:14,058 --> 00:05:15,059 - MANAGER: Hi, there. - Oh. 141 00:05:15,059 --> 00:05:16,260 - RENEE: Hi. - Oh, hello. 142 00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:17,766 - This is yours, correct? - RENEE: It is. 143 00:05:17,766 --> 00:05:20,302 Well, unfortunately, a little bad news. 144 00:05:20,302 --> 00:05:21,637 I'm not gonna be able to take this 145 00:05:21,637 --> 00:05:23,940 - off of your bill tonight. - Why? 146 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,006 It's halfway gone. 147 00:05:25,006 --> 00:05:26,876 - You guys ate a lot of pie. - LARRY: Is this a joke? 148 00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:28,477 It's not a joke. What you ate 149 00:05:28,477 --> 00:05:30,646 went past the threshold of returnability. 150 00:05:30,646 --> 00:05:33,482 Okay, I took a robust bite initially 151 00:05:33,482 --> 00:05:34,883 because it's dessert. 152 00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:37,786 Then I took a tentative bite to confirm that it was gross, 153 00:05:37,786 --> 00:05:39,188 - and then he took a bite. - Three bites. 154 00:05:39,188 --> 00:05:42,324 She took one bite. She said, "This tastes awful." 155 00:05:42,324 --> 00:05:44,593 A second bite, "Yes, it is awful." 156 00:05:44,593 --> 00:05:46,662 And you take a large bite at that point? 157 00:05:46,662 --> 00:05:48,096 That's the part that doesn't make sense. 158 00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:50,732 You have to take a large bite. How else do you confirm? 159 00:05:50,732 --> 00:05:52,501 You can't confirm on a small bite. 160 00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:53,768 - RENEE: Right. - You don't get enough taste. 161 00:05:53,768 --> 00:05:56,472 - That's three huge bites. - You know what? 162 00:05:56,472 --> 00:05:58,274 - Charge me double for it. - I don't need to. 163 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,569 She's an artist. She's a libertine. 164 00:05:59,569 --> 00:06:01,505 We're going back to my house. We're gonna have sex. 165 00:06:01,505 --> 00:06:03,179 We're gonna forget about this horrible experience. 166 00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:04,113 - Exactly. - LARRY: Okay? 167 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,547 - We're gonna have great sex. - So there. Yeah. 168 00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:07,383 - You two are gonna have sex? - Yes. 169 00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:08,617 Yeah, you got a problem with that? 170 00:06:08,617 --> 00:06:11,420 - No. No problem. - Let me ask you a question. 171 00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:13,657 - Who made this pie? - Chef made the pie. 172 00:06:13,657 --> 00:06:14,891 - No wonder. - No wonder? 173 00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:16,358 - LARRY: No wonder. - Hmm. 174 00:06:16,358 --> 00:06:17,426 Would you like me to go grab Chef, 175 00:06:17,426 --> 00:06:18,661 and you can give him your thoughts? 176 00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:20,196 Yeah, go get Chef. You think I'm afraid of Chef? 177 00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:21,997 I don't know if you are, but I think you should be. 178 00:06:21,997 --> 00:06:25,366 - Oh. Oh, I'm so scared of Chef. - Yeah, get Chef. We don't care. 179 00:06:25,366 --> 00:06:27,669 I think when you meet Chef, you're gonna change your tune a little bit. 180 00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:29,305 - LARRY: Oh, you think so? You think so? - Yeah. 181 00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,872 BOTH: Go get Chef. Go get Chef. 182 00:06:30,872 --> 00:06:31,974 MANAGER: You're gonna regret this choice. 183 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,542 I'm the nice one of the two of us. 184 00:06:33,542 --> 00:06:35,411 Okay. Yeah, get-- Oh, get Chef. 185 00:06:35,411 --> 00:06:38,016 - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - Let's get the fuck out of here. 186 00:06:43,655 --> 00:06:44,957 How'd you sleep? 187 00:06:45,723 --> 00:06:47,323 - Not good. - Really? 188 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,961 - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. - Why? 189 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,862 - Oh, yeah. New person. - Yeah. 190 00:06:52,862 --> 00:06:54,897 - Mm-hmm. It's weird. - Yeah. Yeah. 191 00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:57,600 Well, aside from the insomnia, 192 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,103 - everything else was amazing. - Really? 193 00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,070 - Mm-hmm. - Huh. 194 00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:06,742 - Are you suggesting an encore? - ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 195 00:07:06,742 --> 00:07:08,210 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. Right there. 196 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,645 - (LAUGHS) Yes! - LARRY: Huh? Oh. Huh? Huh? 197 00:07:10,645 --> 00:07:12,181 - Huh? - RENEE: (SIGHS) Uh-huh. 198 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,715 - (SCREAMS) - (SHRIEKS) 199 00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:16,652 - DAHLIA: What? (SCREAMS) - (SCREAMS) 200 00:07:16,652 --> 00:07:17,854 - (SCREAMS) No, no. - (LARRY STAMMERS) 201 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:22,824 - (SCREAMS) - (SHRIEKS) 202 00:07:22,824 --> 00:07:24,860 - LARRY: What the hell? - Larry, who the fuck is that? 203 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,695 - It's the housekeeper! - Why didn't she knock? 204 00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:28,096 She's not supposed to be here! It's her day off! 205 00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:29,898 - She should've knocked. - LARRY: She should've knocked! 206 00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:32,335 You knock! You knock! Hey, you always knock! 207 00:07:32,335 --> 00:07:33,902 You always knock. It's true. 208 00:07:33,902 --> 00:07:36,037 - Ah, she seems freaked out. - LARRY: Oh, yeah? 209 00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:38,740 - What gave you that impression? - I mean, I don't get it. 210 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,109 It's not like you don't have one of your own. It's-- 211 00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:41,978 - Think I better go talk to her. - I'm gonna get dressed. 212 00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:43,278 Call me later. Let me know how it goes. 213 00:07:43,278 --> 00:07:46,482 - Oh, I can't wait for this. - (RENEE LAUGHING) 214 00:07:46,482 --> 00:07:47,950 It was great, until it wasn't. 215 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,351 LARRY: If I don't see you, goodbye. 216 00:07:49,351 --> 00:07:51,486 (CHUCKLES) Goodbye, Larry. 217 00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:53,122 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 218 00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:55,861 (GROANS) 219 00:08:00,464 --> 00:08:03,166 Hey. (SIGHS) Um... 220 00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:06,772 I thought-- I thought it was your day off. 221 00:08:07,271 --> 00:08:09,005 No, it wasn't. 222 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:14,704 Anyway, uh, I-- I know what you saw, and, uh... 223 00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:18,347 You know, I don't know the nature of your experiences, 224 00:08:18,347 --> 00:08:22,484 but, uh, a lot of women seem to find pleasure in that. 225 00:08:22,484 --> 00:08:24,787 (CHUCKLES) You know, go figure. 226 00:08:24,787 --> 00:08:26,722 I don't know. I didn't wanna do it. 227 00:08:26,722 --> 00:08:29,719 I-- She asked me. Oh, she practically begged me. 228 00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:32,327 "Oh, I want-- I like this, I like this, I like this, 229 00:08:32,327 --> 00:08:34,430 I like this, I like this." What am I supposed to do? 230 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,632 I didn't wanna be rude. You know, I'm a gentleman. 231 00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,200 It's a chivalrous thing to do. 232 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,803 You know, it's like a gentleman holds the door open for women, 233 00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,604 a gentleman puts the toilet seat down, 234 00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:46,241 - and a gentleman, eh... (GROANS) - (GROANS) 235 00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:49,545 (BOTH GROANING) 236 00:08:49,545 --> 00:08:51,080 Whoo! Dahlia! 237 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,149 (CHUCKLES) What's going down, girl? 238 00:08:53,149 --> 00:08:54,748 Um, I gotta work. 239 00:08:55,421 --> 00:08:56,422 Bye. 240 00:08:57,188 --> 00:09:00,159 - What's wrong with her? - Incident. 241 00:09:00,592 --> 00:09:01,827 Incident? 242 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,726 Come out. 243 00:09:03,726 --> 00:09:06,528 - (SIGHS) You got her pregnant? - No. No. 244 00:09:06,528 --> 00:09:08,097 - It's not that. - Give it to me. 245 00:09:08,097 --> 00:09:10,399 Well, Renee, the artist I was telling you about. 246 00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:12,935 - LEON BLACK: Okay. Mm-hmm. - Yeah, we were upstairs. 247 00:09:12,935 --> 00:09:16,405 Dahlia walked in on us when I was downtown. 248 00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:19,541 - Oh. And yo ass-- - Yeah, she didn't take it well. 249 00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:21,044 What the fuck you doing downtown? 250 00:09:21,044 --> 00:09:22,911 - You don't need to be downtown. - Yeah. 251 00:09:22,911 --> 00:09:24,646 Downtown is fucking dangerous, you understand? 252 00:09:24,646 --> 00:09:26,148 - Mm. - You more of an uptown person. 253 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,744 Don't get me wrong, I love it uptown, 254 00:09:27,744 --> 00:09:30,686 but I will venture downtown, you know, on occasion. 255 00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:32,287 What about you? Are you a downtown guy? 256 00:09:32,287 --> 00:09:33,322 Yeah, I'm good. 257 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,991 I can fuck around and do a TED Talk to that shit. 258 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,525 I'll have a pussy TED Talk. 259 00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:38,827 Get all the guys in one room, get a little microphone, 260 00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:40,357 get a little laser pointer and shit. 261 00:09:40,357 --> 00:09:42,197 Like, "This is a pussy. See?" 262 00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:44,733 - (LAUGHS) - Yeah, I'm good at that shit. 263 00:09:44,733 --> 00:09:46,035 I go through all the fucking zones. 264 00:09:46,035 --> 00:09:47,636 - LARRY: Uh-huh. - All the eromenous zones. 265 00:09:47,636 --> 00:09:49,572 - Yeah. Erogenous. - Eronenous zones. 266 00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,240 - Erogenous. - Erotenous. 267 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,242 - Erogenous zones, yeah. - Erogenous zones. 268 00:09:53,242 --> 00:09:54,777 I know all the fucking zones and shit. 269 00:09:54,777 --> 00:09:56,612 Gotta know where to lick at and where to tickle. 270 00:09:56,612 --> 00:09:58,982 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - No caller ID. 271 00:09:58,982 --> 00:10:00,750 Hate that shit. Hey, do you. 272 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:03,021 - Hello. - GINA: Larry, it's Gina. 273 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:05,989 - Who? - GINA: Stu's wife. 274 00:10:05,989 --> 00:10:08,591 - He had a stroke. - Oh! 275 00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:10,529 Yeah, right, right. 276 00:10:11,429 --> 00:10:13,563 - How's he doing? - GINA: Not great, Larry. 277 00:10:13,563 --> 00:10:14,730 Touch and go. 278 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:17,298 - I'd love to have lunch with you tomorrow. - Lunch? 279 00:10:17,298 --> 00:10:19,969 GINA: There's something very important I need to talk to you about. 280 00:10:19,969 --> 00:10:21,331 - Me? - GINA: Yes. 281 00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,671 Thank you so much, Larry. 282 00:10:22,671 --> 00:10:26,475 I'll send you the information. You're on the text chain, right? 283 00:10:26,475 --> 00:10:28,077 Oh, yeah, yeah, the text chain. 284 00:10:28,077 --> 00:10:29,745 GINA: That text chain is a blessing. 285 00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:31,014 I'm so glad you're on it. 286 00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:32,576 Yeah, I read that quote 287 00:10:32,576 --> 00:10:34,383 about resilience that your cousin sent. 288 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,586 - It was very moving. - GINA: I'll see you tomorrow. 289 00:10:36,586 --> 00:10:37,653 All right. 290 00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:40,025 ♪ (DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 291 00:10:42,427 --> 00:10:43,496 (SIGHS) 292 00:10:47,799 --> 00:10:51,337 (MOANS) 293 00:10:56,507 --> 00:11:01,277 Claustrophobic. The middle seat. No room. No room! 294 00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:04,146 Ah! I can't breathe. Middle seat! Can't breathe! 295 00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:06,348 - (WHIMPERING) - Hey, Jeff. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. 296 00:11:06,348 --> 00:11:08,750 Get me out of the middle! Get me out! 297 00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,252 - SUSIE GREENE: Jeff, wake up! - (SCREAMS) 298 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,889 Wake up! You were having a nightmare. 299 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,390 I think it was about the flight. 300 00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:16,225 - (PANTS) - You're really bent out of shape 301 00:11:16,225 --> 00:11:18,059 about this flying to Raleigh, huh? 302 00:11:18,059 --> 00:11:20,629 - I guess I am. I-- - SUSIE: Yeah. You know what, honey? 303 00:11:20,629 --> 00:11:22,197 If you're so worked up about this 304 00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:25,501 that you're having nightmares, it's a sign you should not come. 305 00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:27,803 - You really think so? - Yeah, I really think so. 306 00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:31,007 Take a deep breath and get some sleep, okay? 307 00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,676 - Yeah. - I've got a busy day tomorrow. 308 00:11:33,676 --> 00:11:35,948 Busy day with the Caftans. 309 00:11:39,718 --> 00:11:41,850 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 310 00:11:41,850 --> 00:11:43,720 GINA: I just saw Stu at the hospital, 311 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,320 and I'm very worried. 312 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,124 I mean, how could Stu have a stroke, of all people? 313 00:11:49,124 --> 00:11:51,460 You know Stu. You know Stu, Larry. 314 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,931 You know, I... (CHUCKLES) ...I really don't know him. 315 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,200 Oh, Larry. You mean the world to him. 316 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,801 I can't possibly mean anything to him. 317 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,269 I've never even had lunch with the guy. 318 00:12:00,269 --> 00:12:02,805 But let me tell you, I blame Susie Greene 319 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,706 for this situation. 320 00:12:04,706 --> 00:12:06,342 - Susie Greene? - GINA: Oh, yeah. 321 00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:11,080 The other day, she brought over this massive tub of foie gras, 322 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,550 but she knows I'm dieting and watching my weight. 323 00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,318 - What a bitch. - LARRY: She brought it over 324 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,087 just so you'd eat it and get fat? 325 00:12:18,087 --> 00:12:21,190 Here's the thing. Stu ate the entire tub himself. 326 00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:24,560 It seems like he was trying to fill a hole somehow. 327 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,862 Everybody has an Achilles' heel. 328 00:12:26,862 --> 00:12:29,098 An entire tub sounds like an Achilles' foot. 329 00:12:29,098 --> 00:12:31,233 Well, anyway, let me talk to you 330 00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:33,903 about why I wanted to meet today. 331 00:12:33,903 --> 00:12:36,738 - Mm-hmm. - In case Stu doesn't make it, 332 00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:40,276 - he has some requests. - What do you mean, "requests"? 333 00:12:40,276 --> 00:12:44,746 He wants you to keep an eye on Olivia. 334 00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:47,386 - Who? - Our 11-year-old daughter. 335 00:12:48,787 --> 00:12:51,420 (SCOFFS, CHUCKLES) 336 00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:53,757 Me, keep an eye on your 11-year-old daughter? 337 00:12:53,757 --> 00:12:54,924 You gotta be kidding. 338 00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:56,758 I don't know anything about children. 339 00:12:56,758 --> 00:13:01,264 Who better to step up at this time than you, Larry? 340 00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:02,631 Anybody in the world. Go out in the stre-- 341 00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:05,001 A homeless person would do a better job than me. 342 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,830 I'm telling you what he told me. 343 00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:09,271 Well, this is crazy. I don't like children. 344 00:13:09,271 --> 00:13:11,140 - I've never spoken to a child... - Oh! 345 00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,509 ...without contempt in my voice in my life! 346 00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:16,545 - So, are you sure? - It's Stu's wish. 347 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:20,850 - Is this a financial thing? - No, it's soccer, 348 00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:22,551 homework, boy stuff. 349 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:28,557 You know, Olivia this week said she's now identifying as a cat, 350 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,961 and I'm sure you could really help her with that, Larry. 351 00:13:31,961 --> 00:13:34,063 Well... Like what? Buy her a litter box? 352 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,899 I mean, what am I supposed to do? 353 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,867 I think you underestimate yourself. 354 00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,401 Did anybody else get any requests? 355 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,837 GINA: Well, he wants Freddy Funkhouser 356 00:13:41,837 --> 00:13:44,573 to take care of his antique violin. 357 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,275 - What? - And to sell it. 358 00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:49,212 It was once played by Jascha Heifetz 359 00:13:49,212 --> 00:13:51,280 - at Carnegie Hall. - Are you kidding? 360 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,282 Freddy Funkhouser gets to sell a violin, 361 00:13:53,282 --> 00:13:55,151 and I get to take care of Catwoman? 362 00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:57,920 - Why didn't I get the violin? - Oh, they're early! 363 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,589 Hi, sweetie. Aw. 364 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,191 - How did it go today? - OLIVIA GROSSBARD: Hi. 365 00:14:02,191 --> 00:14:03,326 It was okay today. 366 00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:05,995 We were a cat, so lots of scratches, 367 00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:07,497 - but she didn't break the skin. - GINA: Good. 368 00:14:07,497 --> 00:14:09,031 - Uh-huh. - Olivia, 369 00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:12,067 - I want you to meet Larry. - Hey! Yeah. (STAMMERS) 370 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,070 Hello, pussycat. 371 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:18,173 - Ooh! Hello. - And this is Katie, our nanny. 372 00:14:18,173 --> 00:14:20,309 - Uh-huh. Hey. Hmm. - Hi. 373 00:14:20,309 --> 00:14:22,444 - Do you like hockey? - No. 374 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,414 Do you think Puerto Rico should become a state? 375 00:14:25,414 --> 00:14:28,417 - Who cares? - Have you ever tasted a beer? 376 00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:32,355 - Gross. I like your sweatshirt. - Really? Yes, I like it too. 377 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:34,490 Yeah, but there's something on the string. 378 00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:36,392 - Hey! What are you doing? - (LAUGHS) 379 00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,227 What was that? What'd you do that for? 380 00:14:38,227 --> 00:14:39,495 'Cause cats like string. 381 00:14:39,495 --> 00:14:41,430 It's okay. You'll just wear it without the string. 382 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:43,365 You can't wear a sweatshirt without the string. 383 00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:45,167 You ruined my sweatshirt, Mittens. 384 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:47,440 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 385 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:51,340 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 386 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,508 Oh, come on. This is impossible. 387 00:14:53,508 --> 00:14:55,477 - It's impossible. - Yeah. That shit's hard. 388 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,246 It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. 389 00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:58,647 But dumb motherfuckers try to put the shit back 390 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,482 in the same little hole you squeeze it out of. 391 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:03,052 - Can't go back in the same hole. - That's what I'm saying. 392 00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:04,520 You cut the bottom of that bitch open 393 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,688 and put the shit inside then reseal the bottom. 394 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:09,592 - This is harder than toothpaste. - LEON: Know what you gotta do with that? 395 00:15:09,592 --> 00:15:11,493 You gotta moisten that motherfucker. 396 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,395 Yeah. Like trying to thread a needle. 397 00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:15,331 Yeah, yeah, lick that shit good. 398 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,833 You gotta get that bitch in that hole. 399 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,768 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 400 00:15:18,768 --> 00:15:20,870 - (GASPS) - Ah! 401 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,872 - Ugh. - Huh! 402 00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:25,002 - (GROANS) - Ah. No, no, no, no. 403 00:15:25,002 --> 00:15:26,575 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. 404 00:15:26,575 --> 00:15:29,378 I'm just trying to get this string in the hole here. 405 00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:32,381 Uh, do you have any tricks? Any housekeeping tricks? 406 00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:34,283 - No? - No. No housekeeper tricks. 407 00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:36,085 - Sorry. No. No. - LARRY: You know tricks? Huh. 408 00:15:36,085 --> 00:15:37,220 Also, one more thing. 409 00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:39,850 I noticed when you put new toilet paper on, 410 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,190 you always put it on from the bottom, 411 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,758 so I have to go to the bottom. 412 00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:45,427 I like it from the top. Rolls out a lot easier. 413 00:15:45,427 --> 00:15:46,729 You can rip it off like that. 414 00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:48,464 LEON: Yep, there's people who do it from the top. 415 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:49,932 You know, you roll like this. 416 00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:51,667 And people who do it from the bottom, 417 00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,069 you do it like this, 418 00:15:53,069 --> 00:15:55,371 it's almost as if you're un-wiping your ass. 419 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,806 - LARRY: Yeah. - Okay. 420 00:15:56,806 --> 00:15:57,974 - Okay. - DAHLIA: Can I go now? 421 00:15:57,974 --> 00:15:59,776 - Yeah. - Bye. 422 00:15:59,776 --> 00:16:00,879 LARRY: Okay. 423 00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:04,013 (SCOFFS) This is-- This is unbelievable. 424 00:16:04,013 --> 00:16:05,547 - Yeah. - LARRY: It's just so awkward. 425 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,383 You know, sometimes when you have sex with somebody, 426 00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,019 you become a different person afterwards? 427 00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:11,553 - Yeah. - Well, we didn't have sex. 428 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,356 - She just caught me having sex. - Yeah. She's uncomfortable, 429 00:16:14,356 --> 00:16:15,657 but now it's making you uncomfortable. 430 00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:17,894 She's not cleaning. She's not doing anything. 431 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,395 I'd like to fire her but I can't. 432 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,763 I got a trial coming up. 433 00:16:20,763 --> 00:16:23,232 It doesn't look good that I fired the housekeeper 434 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,966 who saw me having cunnilingus. 435 00:16:24,966 --> 00:16:27,136 LEON: Can't get rid of her ass 'cause you got no basis. 436 00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:29,572 Getting caught eating pussy is not a basis. 437 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,340 So, you fucked. 438 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,442 - Yeah. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 439 00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:37,914 Oh, my God. This text chain. (CHUCKLES) This text chain. 440 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,581 "Stay strong everybody." 441 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,251 "Remember, after the rain comes the rainbow. 442 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,553 "Be the reason someone smiles today." 443 00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:47,289 Oh, fuck you. (SCOFFS) Ridiculous. 444 00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:50,259 - ♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (SIGHS) 445 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,896 Okay, we go for a walk. Oh, hi. Jeff's not home. 446 00:16:53,896 --> 00:16:55,230 - Huh? - He just ran out for-- 447 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:56,933 He'll be back in, like, eh, ten minutes. 448 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,200 (CHUCKLES) What the hell's this? 449 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,102 It's a coyote vest. 450 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,636 They're all over the fucking neighborhood. 451 00:17:01,636 --> 00:17:03,305 I gotta protect him. Some people care 452 00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:05,208 if he gets eaten by a coyote, Larry. 453 00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:07,811 By the way, I just had lunch with Gina Grossbard. 454 00:17:07,811 --> 00:17:09,245 Oy. That farbissina punim. 455 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:12,047 She blames you for Stu's stroke. 456 00:17:12,047 --> 00:17:14,416 She thinks-- What, 'cause I brought over the foie gras? 457 00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:16,585 - Yeah. - She is so transparent. 458 00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:18,287 Every time she comes here, Larr, 459 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,456 she brings something from that new French patisserie. 460 00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:23,226 - Eclairs and Napole-- - Yeah. 461 00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:24,593 She's trying to get me fat. 462 00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:27,463 - She wants you to be fat? - Yes, she does. So I retaliated. 463 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,598 - You retaliated? - Yeah. Because she's jealous 464 00:17:29,598 --> 00:17:31,300 - that I'm thinner than her... - Really? 465 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,068 ...and I have more style than her. 466 00:17:33,068 --> 00:17:35,171 - You know, he ate the whole tub. That night, had a stroke. - That's his problem. 467 00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:36,638 Because he's a fucking pig. 468 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,407 - It's not my problem. - Really? 469 00:17:38,407 --> 00:17:40,375 Oh, by the way, you can play golf 470 00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:41,743 with your boyfriend this weekend. 471 00:17:41,743 --> 00:17:43,512 Why? I thought he was going to North Carolina. 472 00:17:43,512 --> 00:17:45,681 He is not coming with me. I can't have it. 473 00:17:45,681 --> 00:17:47,549 He had a dream last night, Larry. 474 00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,452 - A nightmare about the trip. - What? 475 00:17:49,452 --> 00:17:51,853 And I thought, "If he's having this much anxiety 476 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:54,122 over that flight, better he should stay home." 477 00:17:54,122 --> 00:17:56,725 - I don't need him having a stroke. I don't-- - He had a dream? 478 00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,762 - Yeah, he had a dream, and-- - Just a-- a nightmare? 479 00:17:59,762 --> 00:18:01,730 He was thrashing around. It's something like that. 480 00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:05,033 - Oh, the poor guy. - I believe in respecting the unconscious. 481 00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:07,803 Yeah, well, that's just a surprising turn of events. 482 00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:11,073 - Good for you. Oh. - Yeah. We're going for a walk. 483 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:13,209 - Yes. - Is your outfit anti-coyote? 484 00:18:13,209 --> 00:18:15,544 Very funny, Larry. Go fuck yourself. 485 00:18:15,544 --> 00:18:17,379 You don't know anything about fashion. 486 00:18:17,379 --> 00:18:19,415 - Let's go, buddy. (KISSES) - (DOG BARKS) 487 00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:21,487 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 488 00:18:24,322 --> 00:18:26,989 Oh, hey. Is this Stu Grossbard's room? 489 00:18:26,989 --> 00:18:28,858 - Yes, it is. - How's he doing? 490 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:29,891 It's too early to tell. 491 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,194 - Can I see him? - Yes, but don't stay long. 492 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,066 - He needs his rest. - Okay. 493 00:18:35,399 --> 00:18:37,736 - (EKG MONITOR BEEPING) - (STU GROSSBARD PANTING) 494 00:18:39,738 --> 00:18:41,670 Stu. Hey. 495 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:44,807 - Larr-- Larry. - Hey, hey! Stuey! 496 00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:46,408 (GRUNTS) Oh, jeez. 497 00:18:46,408 --> 00:18:49,212 Look at you. What a man will do for attention, huh? 498 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,546 (CHUCKLES) 499 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,748 - Did you talk to Gina? - LARRY: I did talk to Gina. 500 00:18:52,748 --> 00:18:55,212 She invited me to lunch, and, uh, I paid, 501 00:18:55,212 --> 00:18:57,286 which is a little odd because she invited me. 502 00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:59,388 I'm the invitee. She's the inviter. 503 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,256 Usually, the inviter pays. 504 00:19:01,256 --> 00:19:02,959 I kind of waited. I gave her some time, 505 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:05,128 but it was not forthcoming, and, you know, 506 00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:06,428 I don't wanna make a big deal of it. 507 00:19:06,428 --> 00:19:09,565 I don't care, really. It means nothing to me, 508 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,700 but it's a matter of common courtesy. 509 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:12,935 - (SIGHS) - You would think the inviter 510 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,438 should be the one picking it up. I-- Listen, again, 511 00:19:15,438 --> 00:19:16,939 I didn't care. It doesn't matter to me. 512 00:19:16,939 --> 00:19:19,408 But she did bring up something at the lunch 513 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,077 that I wanted to call to your attention, 514 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,512 which is in the event that... 515 00:19:23,512 --> 00:19:26,147 you know, God forbid, the worst transpires... 516 00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:30,286 - (GROANS) - ...do I have this right, that you want me to keep an... 517 00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:33,055 "an eye" on your 11-year-old daughter? 518 00:19:33,055 --> 00:19:34,090 Yes, Larry. 519 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,624 And, you know, I met your daughter at the lunch, 520 00:19:35,624 --> 00:19:38,927 and she pulled the string on my sweatshirt, 521 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,659 and it was all I could do to restrain myself from yelling, 522 00:19:41,659 --> 00:19:42,898 "You fuck!" 523 00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:44,633 - That's what I wanted to say to your daughter. - Uh, right. 524 00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:46,535 She pulled the string out. The sweatshirt's ruined. 525 00:19:46,535 --> 00:19:49,272 She's curious. You're passionate. 526 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:52,207 It's all right. It's a good combination. 527 00:19:52,207 --> 00:19:53,442 I'm not being modest 528 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,377 when I tell you that I don't really think 529 00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:57,112 I'm the right person for this job. 530 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,816 - You are, Larry. You are. - LARRY: You know who would be perfect for this? 531 00:19:59,816 --> 00:20:01,779 Freddy Funkhouser. 532 00:20:01,779 --> 00:20:03,086 - No. - Oh, yes. 533 00:20:03,086 --> 00:20:06,322 Freddy Funkhouser, who loves prepubescent girls. 534 00:20:06,322 --> 00:20:07,623 And I mean that in a good way. 535 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,625 He's very excited to be around them. 536 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,726 And, of course, again, I mean that in a good way. 537 00:20:11,726 --> 00:20:13,563 This has got Freddy written all over it. 538 00:20:13,563 --> 00:20:14,931 Freddy's the violin man. 539 00:20:14,931 --> 00:20:16,532 I don't know why I'm not the violin man. 540 00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:18,434 I grew up taking violin lessons. 541 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,636 Larry, I just know 542 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,806 that you're the right man for the job. 543 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,475 You must have me confused with a normal person. 544 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,845 You are the person for Olivia. You understand? 545 00:20:29,845 --> 00:20:32,549 Okay, Stu. I... 546 00:20:32,549 --> 00:20:34,187 I respect your decision. 547 00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:37,014 STU: Okay. (SIGHS) 548 00:20:37,014 --> 00:20:39,858 That puts me at ease. (SIGHS) 549 00:20:43,294 --> 00:20:45,361 (EXHALES, EXCLAIMS) 550 00:20:45,361 --> 00:20:46,863 You're carrying a flask now? 551 00:20:46,863 --> 00:20:48,663 Eh, you know, I take a couple of nips. 552 00:20:48,663 --> 00:20:50,732 I take a nip here, a nip there, you know. 553 00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,701 I nip away at it, and then, hopefully, 554 00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:53,968 I won't have to drink again tonight. 555 00:20:53,968 --> 00:20:56,405 But I feel good. I like it. So what? You know. 556 00:20:56,405 --> 00:20:58,207 (BURPS) Excuse me. 557 00:20:58,207 --> 00:21:00,509 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 558 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,577 (COUGHS, CHUCKLES) Oh, Jesus Christ. 559 00:21:02,577 --> 00:21:04,413 Will you look at the tuchus on this one? 560 00:21:04,413 --> 00:21:06,310 Hey, you know what? Is she coming in here? 561 00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:07,749 She giving you sponge baths, this one? Huh? 562 00:21:07,749 --> 00:21:09,618 Yeah, she takes care of me, Larry. 563 00:21:09,618 --> 00:21:11,354 I'm not even sure if she's wearing a bra. 564 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,992 - Am I right, Stu? - Um... 565 00:21:15,392 --> 00:21:16,729 (LARRY EXHALES) 566 00:21:17,462 --> 00:21:18,694 - STU: Maybe you're-- - Oh, boy. 567 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,462 Maybe you're right, Larr. 568 00:21:20,462 --> 00:21:22,631 - Freddy's the right person... - (LARRY SCOFFS) 569 00:21:22,631 --> 00:21:24,100 - ...for Olivia. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 570 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,702 And you're-- you're the right person for the violin. 571 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:27,936 So, yeah, yeah, you wanna flop us? 572 00:21:27,936 --> 00:21:29,975 - Yes, I'm gonna flop you, Larry. - LARRY: Okay. 573 00:21:30,574 --> 00:21:31,840 I got that violin covered. 574 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,510 The violin is the least of your worries. 575 00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,178 You're my friend, Larry. 576 00:21:36,178 --> 00:21:39,683 Good decision, Stu. I gotta run. I got a violin to sell. 577 00:21:39,683 --> 00:21:42,051 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 578 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,622 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 579 00:21:54,465 --> 00:21:56,235 - (CLEARS THROAT) - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 580 00:21:58,136 --> 00:22:00,535 - Hello. - Hello. 581 00:22:00,535 --> 00:22:02,071 LARRY: Just got out of the shower 582 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:04,310 and, uh... (CHUCKLES) 583 00:22:05,143 --> 00:22:06,708 ...there are no towels. 584 00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:09,182 It's because I can't deal with the towels right now. 585 00:22:09,581 --> 00:22:10,779 And why is that? 586 00:22:10,779 --> 00:22:13,586 Because I was holding the towels... 587 00:22:14,686 --> 00:22:17,323 when you and her were... 588 00:22:18,556 --> 00:22:19,655 - (SIGHS) - Ah. 589 00:22:19,655 --> 00:22:22,324 - They remind me of the trauma. - Oh. The trauma? 590 00:22:22,324 --> 00:22:23,425 Yeah, the trauma. 591 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,494 - I'll tell you what. - What? 592 00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:27,633 (CHUCKLES) Why don't I get some new towels? 593 00:22:28,365 --> 00:22:29,665 I think I couldn't. 594 00:22:29,665 --> 00:22:32,068 Like, any-- any sort of towels would be-- 595 00:22:32,068 --> 00:22:33,937 - You can't even go near towels? - No, no, I can't. 596 00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:36,138 So, cleaning any towels in this house 597 00:22:36,138 --> 00:22:38,107 - is traumatic? - Yeah. 598 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,142 How 'bout when you take a shower at home and, uh, 599 00:22:40,142 --> 00:22:42,677 - you use your towels? - Well, those are my towels. 600 00:22:42,677 --> 00:22:44,078 - Oh, so it's just my towels? - Yeah. 601 00:22:44,078 --> 00:22:46,881 And even the new towels would be a reminder of the trauma? 602 00:22:46,881 --> 00:22:50,519 But I also noticed that my clothing hasn't been washed. 603 00:22:50,519 --> 00:22:52,587 That's also a trauma? 604 00:22:52,587 --> 00:22:54,023 You don't believe me I have a trauma? 605 00:22:54,023 --> 00:22:56,459 Can we get over the trauma by tomorrow? 606 00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:59,195 I do my best. (SLURPS) 607 00:22:59,195 --> 00:23:02,235 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 608 00:23:06,804 --> 00:23:08,604 (LEON SCOFFS) Look at all this shit. 609 00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:10,739 - (SIGHS) - This fucking mess. 610 00:23:10,739 --> 00:23:12,976 LARRY: Dahlia can't work because of the trauma. 611 00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:14,944 Wow. This trauma is out of control right now. 612 00:23:14,944 --> 00:23:16,912 Yeah. Look at this. No towels. 613 00:23:16,912 --> 00:23:18,647 - I'm wet. - I took a shower this morning. 614 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:19,982 I had to dry off with paper towels. 615 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,651 - This is fucking insane. - She won't do anything. 616 00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:22,718 She's taking advantage 617 00:23:22,718 --> 00:23:23,920 of the whole situation right now. 618 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,555 Oh, yes. Completely. Completely. 619 00:23:26,555 --> 00:23:27,822 LEON: I get she saw you eating pussy, 620 00:23:27,822 --> 00:23:30,159 but it should not affect your fucking work. 621 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:32,628 Yeah. I caught my aunt giving my Uncle Moishe a-- 622 00:23:32,628 --> 00:23:34,596 a blowjob in the back of a Pontiac, 623 00:23:34,596 --> 00:23:35,897 but if they asked me to go to the movies, 624 00:23:35,897 --> 00:23:37,466 - I just hopped in the car. - Fuck yeah, you did. 625 00:23:37,466 --> 00:23:39,067 - Same back seat! - Yeah, same back seat. 626 00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:42,037 You know, I can still remember those gabardine slacks unzipped! 627 00:23:42,037 --> 00:23:43,706 Yeah. You might even have got a lollipop that day, 628 00:23:43,706 --> 00:23:44,839 and it still didn't affect you. 629 00:23:44,839 --> 00:23:46,141 Know what I'm saying? It still didn't-- 630 00:23:46,141 --> 00:23:47,876 - Still didn't affect me. - It still didn't fuck with you. 631 00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:49,844 I did have a crush on my aunt, though, after that. 632 00:23:49,844 --> 00:23:51,441 LEON: I don't get it, man. Trauma did that? 633 00:23:51,441 --> 00:23:53,049 Maybe it's some kind of religious thing. 634 00:23:53,049 --> 00:23:54,716 Is there any mention of cunnilingus in the Bible? 635 00:23:54,716 --> 00:23:55,917 I don't think it's in the Old Testament. 636 00:23:55,917 --> 00:23:57,653 Hmm. I don't think that shit was invented yet. 637 00:23:57,653 --> 00:23:59,956 - That shit didn't start till the early 1900s, at least. - No, I don't think so. 638 00:23:59,956 --> 00:24:01,190 Columbus got it from the Indians, 639 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:03,392 brought it back to Spain with grapefruit. 640 00:24:03,392 --> 00:24:04,526 Somebody had to be the first. 641 00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:06,395 There was a cunnilingus pioneer out there. 642 00:24:06,395 --> 00:24:07,463 We don't know who it was. 643 00:24:07,463 --> 00:24:08,764 They should get some credit for that. 644 00:24:08,764 --> 00:24:10,533 Put that motherfucker on-- on the Mount Rushmore 645 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:11,767 of-- of pussy eaters. 646 00:24:11,767 --> 00:24:13,636 They all got their tongue out and shit. You know what I mean? 647 00:24:13,636 --> 00:24:14,936 - (DOORBELL RINGS) - That's how the fuck you do it. 648 00:24:14,936 --> 00:24:16,505 - Honor these motherfuckers, right? - I'll get it. 649 00:24:16,505 --> 00:24:17,910 Somebody had to start it. 650 00:24:20,244 --> 00:24:21,576 Nah, fuck that. 651 00:24:21,576 --> 00:24:23,646 - LARRY: Who is it? - FREDDY: It's Freddy! 652 00:24:23,646 --> 00:24:25,017 (GROANS, MUMBLES) 653 00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:27,951 Hey! There's my guy. 654 00:24:27,951 --> 00:24:29,851 - Okay if I come in? - Uh... (HESITATES) Yeah. 655 00:24:29,851 --> 00:24:31,654 FREDDY: Great to see you, old friend. 656 00:24:31,654 --> 00:24:34,757 Boy, it does my heart good to see an honest face. 657 00:24:34,757 --> 00:24:36,659 I think it comes down to just loyalty 658 00:24:36,659 --> 00:24:39,561 and someone who's genuine, who you can count on. 659 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,930 Because that's what makes a friend. 660 00:24:40,930 --> 00:24:42,265 Anyway, anything on your mind? 661 00:24:42,265 --> 00:24:44,568 Anything you wanna tell a friend to his face? 662 00:24:44,568 --> 00:24:46,202 - No. I don't... - No? 663 00:24:46,202 --> 00:24:47,402 Mm. 664 00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:50,108 I gave you a chance to address the fact that you fucked me. 665 00:24:51,042 --> 00:24:52,741 Yeah. You took me off the violin, 666 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,176 and you shoved the kid down my throat, 667 00:24:54,176 --> 00:24:56,773 - and you fucked me, L.D. - I couldn't do it. 668 00:24:56,773 --> 00:24:58,214 You know what the worst thing about this whole thing is? 669 00:24:58,214 --> 00:25:00,316 Is that you did it with my own flask. 670 00:25:00,316 --> 00:25:01,283 You took something elegant, 671 00:25:01,283 --> 00:25:04,387 something classy and sophisticated like my flask, 672 00:25:04,387 --> 00:25:06,655 and you shoved it up my ass, and you reamed me with it. 673 00:25:06,655 --> 00:25:08,758 - It was a good idea, though. - FREDDY: What you did is terrible. 674 00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:09,925 But it was a good idea. 675 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,461 This is a first-degree, premeditated fucking. 676 00:25:12,461 --> 00:25:13,729 You know what makes it even worse? 677 00:25:13,729 --> 00:25:16,098 Is you don't have any remorse. You're a sociopath. 678 00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:18,835 You fucked me in cold blood, and you're a monster. 679 00:25:18,835 --> 00:25:20,669 And now I have to accept the fact 680 00:25:20,669 --> 00:25:22,604 that you're wired like a fucking lunatic. 681 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:24,601 I can't take care of kids! I hate kids! 682 00:25:24,601 --> 00:25:27,008 I'd rather have roaches in my bathtub as pets 683 00:25:27,008 --> 00:25:29,578 - than take care of a kid! - And I'm fucking Mary Poppins? 684 00:25:29,578 --> 00:25:31,347 You're a very affable and genial fella! 685 00:25:31,347 --> 00:25:33,015 You could do a much better job than I can! 686 00:25:33,015 --> 00:25:34,350 - You have a knack! - What? No! 687 00:25:34,350 --> 00:25:35,917 My humor's way too sophisticated for a child! 688 00:25:35,917 --> 00:25:37,586 Yes, you are. You always take time for people! 689 00:25:37,586 --> 00:25:40,055 - No, I don't! I make no time! - You're completely courteous! 690 00:25:40,055 --> 00:25:41,557 I can't even believe the way people talk 691 00:25:41,557 --> 00:25:42,857 about you behind your back! 692 00:25:42,857 --> 00:25:43,993 -"Oh, that Freddy Funkhouser!" - FREDDY: You know what? 693 00:25:43,993 --> 00:25:45,527 "He's the nicest guy I've ever met!" 694 00:25:45,527 --> 00:25:46,662 Oh, my God! I'm the nicest guy? 695 00:25:46,662 --> 00:25:48,096 People always say how lovely you are! 696 00:25:48,096 --> 00:25:49,699 - Nobody says that! Nobody says that! -"Oh, he's so funny! 697 00:25:49,699 --> 00:25:50,966 Larry brightens the party!" 698 00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:52,462 Nobody's said a decent word about me my entire life! 699 00:25:52,462 --> 00:25:53,702 What, are you crazy? People love you! 700 00:25:53,702 --> 00:25:54,937 I don't even say decent words about me! 701 00:25:54,937 --> 00:25:56,105 Yes, I do! I say it all the time! 702 00:25:56,105 --> 00:25:57,540 I say, "He's honest, he's loyal!" 703 00:25:57,540 --> 00:25:59,011 I won't say it anymore! 704 00:26:00,211 --> 00:26:01,677 It was a terrible thing that you did. 705 00:26:01,677 --> 00:26:04,308 My one regret is that I had to use your flask. 706 00:26:04,308 --> 00:26:05,248 FREDDY: Oh, no, no, no, no. 707 00:26:05,248 --> 00:26:07,544 That may be your first regret, but that's-- 708 00:26:07,544 --> 00:26:09,684 that's not gonna be your only regret. 709 00:26:09,684 --> 00:26:11,253 There's gonna be a series of regrets, 710 00:26:11,253 --> 00:26:14,223 because if you think I'm gonna take a nap 711 00:26:14,223 --> 00:26:17,326 while you fuck me, you're crazy. I'm awake. 712 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,262 - This thing's only just begun. - Oh, really? 713 00:26:19,262 --> 00:26:21,596 And I'm about to roll over and do some fucking myself. 714 00:26:21,596 --> 00:26:22,697 That guy could be dead any second. 715 00:26:22,697 --> 00:26:23,832 You're getting fucked pretty soon. 716 00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:25,001 I don't know what you think you're gonna do. 717 00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:26,368 FREDDY: I'm gonna roll over and fuck you. 718 00:26:26,368 --> 00:26:28,938 LARRY: That guy thinks I'm an alcoholic! 719 00:26:28,938 --> 00:26:31,144 Freddy? What are you gonna do? 720 00:26:31,876 --> 00:26:33,175 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 721 00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:34,610 {\an8}♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 722 00:26:34,610 --> 00:26:36,382 {\an8}LARRY: Oh, for God's sake. 723 00:26:37,182 --> 00:26:41,920 Ah, this chain! This chain! 724 00:26:43,788 --> 00:26:45,287 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 725 00:26:45,287 --> 00:26:46,525 Stu, you all right? 726 00:26:47,791 --> 00:26:49,525 I came full throttle from Cabazon, 727 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,720 from the outlet store. 728 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,161 - I'm glad to be with you. - My friend, Freddy. 729 00:26:52,161 --> 00:26:53,963 Can I cheer you up with some pretty good news? 730 00:26:53,963 --> 00:26:56,332 I think I got a couple leads on the violin. 731 00:26:56,332 --> 00:26:57,633 Uh, you talked to Gina? 732 00:26:57,633 --> 00:26:59,135 No, no, I'm getting a bidding war going. 733 00:26:59,135 --> 00:27:01,503 I can't do it, Freddy. I gotta switch it up. 734 00:27:01,503 --> 00:27:04,601 You gotta take Olivia. Larry's gonna sell the violin. 735 00:27:04,601 --> 00:27:06,508 You wanna have a nest egg for Olivia, 736 00:27:06,508 --> 00:27:08,344 you need me moving that violin. 737 00:27:08,344 --> 00:27:11,180 - And Larry's great with kids. - I don't know about that. 738 00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:13,182 He's super comfortable with really young girls. 739 00:27:13,182 --> 00:27:15,484 Not in a bad way, but nice, like laughing and joking. 740 00:27:15,484 --> 00:27:16,619 He's like a porcupine. 741 00:27:16,619 --> 00:27:18,120 He puts those things out and is prickly 742 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,654 'cause he wants to keep people away, 743 00:27:19,654 --> 00:27:21,122 but he puts 'em down for the kids, 744 00:27:21,122 --> 00:27:24,060 and he brings those kids in, he gives 'em a nice, snug hug. 745 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:26,262 He holds on to 'em super tight. Not in a bad way. 746 00:27:26,262 --> 00:27:28,330 They love to cuddle with him because he smells good, 747 00:27:28,330 --> 00:27:30,466 and he's always got a clever line he whispers. 748 00:27:30,466 --> 00:27:31,901 He's playful. The girls love it. 749 00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:33,169 They sit and laugh, and, you know, 750 00:27:33,169 --> 00:27:34,737 it's a little push, a little pull, and... 751 00:27:34,737 --> 00:27:36,339 Not in a bad way, but they connect. 752 00:27:36,339 --> 00:27:38,307 I appreciate everything you're saying. 753 00:27:38,307 --> 00:27:40,543 If I was gonna pick someone, I'd pick Larry David. 754 00:27:40,543 --> 00:27:41,843 I made up my mind. 755 00:27:41,843 --> 00:27:43,479 I think you're missing the big picture here. 756 00:27:43,479 --> 00:27:46,082 Larry is selling the violin, 757 00:27:46,082 --> 00:27:49,051 and you are keeping an eye on Olivia. 758 00:27:49,051 --> 00:27:51,887 And that's my final word, Freddy. 759 00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:54,423 If that's what you want, then I'll honor that. 760 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:57,092 - It is. - (YAWNS) 761 00:27:57,092 --> 00:28:00,262 I'm sorry. I'm exhausted. I've had the, uh, sun in my eyes 762 00:28:00,262 --> 00:28:01,530 since I've been driving from the outlets. 763 00:28:01,530 --> 00:28:03,432 - You mind if I take a seat? - No. Go ahead, Freddy. 764 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:05,902 - (FREDDY SIGHS) It just hit me. - I want you to stick around. 765 00:28:05,902 --> 00:28:07,103 (YAWNING) I'm so tired. 766 00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:10,073 I think I'm about to fall asleep on my feet. 767 00:28:10,073 --> 00:28:11,273 You mind if I rest my eyes? 768 00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:14,443 No. I think I'm gonna go to sleep too, Freddy. 769 00:28:14,443 --> 00:28:18,184 - ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (SNORES) 770 00:28:20,785 --> 00:28:22,751 (SNORES) 771 00:28:22,751 --> 00:28:24,657 You don't need to finish high school. 772 00:28:25,556 --> 00:28:26,755 You need to pay your dues 773 00:28:26,755 --> 00:28:28,757 at the mattress store in Temecula. 774 00:28:28,757 --> 00:28:30,694 ♪ (DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 775 00:28:30,694 --> 00:28:31,893 FREDDY: You want a book? 776 00:28:31,893 --> 00:28:34,229 Next thing is you're gonna be wanting socks. 777 00:28:34,229 --> 00:28:38,367 And take off that skirt, you look like a whore. (INHALES) 778 00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:39,869 I said take it off! 779 00:28:39,869 --> 00:28:44,373 (SNORES) It's not hard to make friends. 780 00:28:44,373 --> 00:28:47,977 It's just nobody likes you. (SNORES) 781 00:28:47,977 --> 00:28:50,112 It's a pocketknife. 782 00:28:50,112 --> 00:28:52,618 You're supposed to cut yourself sometimes. 783 00:28:53,151 --> 00:28:54,620 That's how you learn. 784 00:28:55,721 --> 00:28:56,986 (SNORING) 785 00:28:56,986 --> 00:28:59,054 You shit in the bucket, you clean the bucket. 786 00:28:59,054 --> 00:29:00,526 Those are the house rules. 787 00:29:01,325 --> 00:29:03,259 Who cares if it's your birthday? 788 00:29:03,259 --> 00:29:06,328 We go to cockfights. That's what this family does. 789 00:29:06,328 --> 00:29:10,632 - It's tradition. (SNORES) - Freddy. 790 00:29:10,632 --> 00:29:13,136 You'll come out of the basement when I'm good and ready. 791 00:29:13,136 --> 00:29:15,641 - Freddy. - Hey, you're fat. 792 00:29:16,241 --> 00:29:17,707 - You're fat! - Freddy! 793 00:29:17,707 --> 00:29:19,642 - (GROANS) - STU: Freddy. 794 00:29:19,642 --> 00:29:21,443 Hey. Ah. What's going on? 795 00:29:21,443 --> 00:29:24,213 So sorry. I was having the craziest dream. 796 00:29:24,213 --> 00:29:25,481 - (GROANS) - STU: Yeah, I know. 797 00:29:25,481 --> 00:29:27,716 - FREDDY: I was exhausted. - I've changed my mind. 798 00:29:27,716 --> 00:29:29,718 - You're back on the violin. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 799 00:29:29,718 --> 00:29:31,354 - You're flopping? - I'm flopping. 800 00:29:31,354 --> 00:29:33,917 All right, well, that's what you want, 801 00:29:33,917 --> 00:29:35,591 that's what it is. I'll be sure to let Larry know. 802 00:29:35,591 --> 00:29:37,827 I'd love to stay, but I got a Zoom in Vacaville 803 00:29:37,827 --> 00:29:38,962 with one of my mattress shops, okay? 804 00:29:38,962 --> 00:29:40,163 You're the best, Freddy. 805 00:29:40,163 --> 00:29:41,664 And, um, don't worry about that violin. 806 00:29:41,664 --> 00:29:43,599 - I'm moving it. - Bye. 807 00:29:43,599 --> 00:29:48,141 - ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (GROANS) Very busy tongue. 808 00:29:49,274 --> 00:29:50,276 Ah! 809 00:29:50,942 --> 00:29:54,079 (SPEAKS SPANISH, RETCHES) 810 00:29:56,113 --> 00:29:57,516 (IN ENGLISH) Awful. 811 00:29:58,015 --> 00:29:59,782 Head and legs. 812 00:29:59,782 --> 00:30:03,687 Bald head, moving up and down. 813 00:30:03,687 --> 00:30:06,155 - (MOANS) - (MIMICS MOANING) 814 00:30:06,155 --> 00:30:07,924 - (GASPS) - (LARRY MIMICS GASPING) 815 00:30:07,924 --> 00:30:09,658 (YAWNING) I must have fallen asleep. 816 00:30:09,658 --> 00:30:11,827 - Oh, what happened? - I was having a nightmare. 817 00:30:11,827 --> 00:30:15,197 Oh, yeah, sounds like it. You poor thing. Are you okay? 818 00:30:15,197 --> 00:30:17,266 Maybe bec-- because of the trauma. 819 00:30:17,266 --> 00:30:19,368 Okay. Let me tell you something. 820 00:30:19,368 --> 00:30:21,771 You're using the dream scheme on the wrong guy. 821 00:30:21,771 --> 00:30:23,005 I invented it. 822 00:30:23,005 --> 00:30:24,340 I can't forget what I saw. 823 00:30:24,340 --> 00:30:26,609 This is over. I don't wanna fire anybody, 824 00:30:26,609 --> 00:30:28,043 but I will fire, 825 00:30:28,043 --> 00:30:29,478 and I'll hate myself for doing it. 826 00:30:29,478 --> 00:30:31,981 But if you don't come in tomorrow and work, 827 00:30:31,981 --> 00:30:33,382 I'm gonna do it. Okay? 828 00:30:33,382 --> 00:30:35,051 And take your feet off the couch. 829 00:30:35,051 --> 00:30:36,719 - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - LARRY: Hey, Leon! 830 00:30:36,719 --> 00:30:38,457 I'm gonna go get that violin! 831 00:30:42,426 --> 00:30:44,530 - Take care. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 832 00:30:47,666 --> 00:30:49,165 - Larry. - Yeah. 833 00:30:49,165 --> 00:30:51,333 Waylan Grossbard. 834 00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:53,302 - Do I know you? - I'm Stu's cousin 835 00:30:53,302 --> 00:30:55,104 from the family text chain. 836 00:30:55,104 --> 00:30:57,306 Oh. Oh, yeah, the text chain. 837 00:30:57,306 --> 00:30:58,940 WAYLAN GROSSBARD: Yeah, we love that you're on there. 838 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,712 - I noticed you haven't really been very active on it. - Yeah. 839 00:31:02,712 --> 00:31:03,813 - No. - Barely replying 840 00:31:03,813 --> 00:31:06,348 - at all, actually. - Yeah, uh... 841 00:31:06,348 --> 00:31:09,185 Well, we're noticing it's really been helpful for everybody, 842 00:31:09,185 --> 00:31:11,120 - keeping us in the loop... - Has it? Is it? Really? Is it? 843 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,889 ...and sort of positive spirits. 844 00:31:12,889 --> 00:31:14,190 - Is it helpful? - Yeah. 845 00:31:14,190 --> 00:31:16,225 - Yeah, you think so? - Yeah. I don't know if you saw. 846 00:31:16,225 --> 00:31:17,854 My niece sent a great photo 847 00:31:17,854 --> 00:31:19,963 - of Stu and her by the lake. - Oh, yeah. 848 00:31:19,963 --> 00:31:22,801 Uh-huh, yeah. That was really, uh... 849 00:31:23,268 --> 00:31:24,801 - cute. - Cute. 850 00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:26,268 Yeah. 851 00:31:26,268 --> 00:31:28,370 You think you're too good for the chain? 852 00:31:28,370 --> 00:31:31,508 You know what? Waylan? Is that your name? 853 00:31:31,508 --> 00:31:33,342 - Yeah. - I do. 854 00:31:33,342 --> 00:31:35,278 I think I'm too good for the chain. 855 00:31:35,278 --> 00:31:36,940 Oh. I'm sorry you don't wanna help your friend. 856 00:31:36,940 --> 00:31:38,748 - Help? - You know, it takes minimal effort 857 00:31:38,748 --> 00:31:39,882 just to reply. 858 00:31:39,882 --> 00:31:42,251 Even a "ha-ha" or a thumbs up-- 859 00:31:42,251 --> 00:31:44,420 Oh, really? Are there funny things on there 860 00:31:44,420 --> 00:31:46,088 - that require a ha-ha? - I mean-- 861 00:31:46,088 --> 00:31:48,223 If you read through it, there's a lot of-- 862 00:31:48,223 --> 00:31:49,892 - Can I be honest with you? - WAYLAN: Please. 863 00:31:49,892 --> 00:31:51,761 I'm overwhelmed by this chain. 864 00:31:51,761 --> 00:31:53,662 Every two minutes it's, "Ding!" 865 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,397 I'm getting a ding. I'm getting a ding. 866 00:31:55,397 --> 00:31:58,634 Too many dings! And what is it? It's just these ridiculous, 867 00:31:58,634 --> 00:32:01,904 inspirational sentiments that amount to nothing. 868 00:32:01,904 --> 00:32:03,272 They're all trite. 869 00:32:03,272 --> 00:32:06,141 I don't even know why people bother to write them! 870 00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:09,011 - It's been a really hard time for the family, so-- - You want me to give it a ha-ha? 871 00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:10,847 - A ha-ha? - Or a heart. 872 00:32:10,847 --> 00:32:12,147 That's also an option. 873 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:14,016 But it seems like that's too much for you. 874 00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:15,350 You know what's too much for me? 875 00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,653 This chain is too much for me. I want off this chain. 876 00:32:17,653 --> 00:32:19,588 Once you're off the chain, you can't get back on the chain. 877 00:32:19,588 --> 00:32:21,523 Oh, don't. Don't say that. Really? 878 00:32:21,523 --> 00:32:23,325 I would text this to you, but I know you won't read it, 879 00:32:23,325 --> 00:32:24,660 so here's the real-life emoji. 880 00:32:24,660 --> 00:32:26,963 - There you go. - Oh! I'll give that a ha-ha! 881 00:32:26,963 --> 00:32:28,664 - No, ha-ha to you. - Ha! Ha-ha! 882 00:32:28,664 --> 00:32:30,728 - Ha-ha to you, sir. - LARRY: Ah, ha-ha! 883 00:32:30,728 --> 00:32:31,533 You know, you're a real asshole. 884 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,135 - Oh, I'm an asshole? - Yeah. Yeah. 885 00:32:33,135 --> 00:32:34,437 - Oh, I'm an asshole. - WAYLAN: Yeah. 886 00:32:34,437 --> 00:32:36,905 I'm the one writing-- I'm the one writing, 887 00:32:36,905 --> 00:32:41,005 "Tough times remind us that our spirits are strong!" 888 00:32:41,005 --> 00:32:42,912 - Yeah, I wrote that! - Yeah, I know you did! 889 00:32:42,912 --> 00:32:44,746 Well, heart it if you like it! 890 00:32:44,746 --> 00:32:46,715 - Yeah, I'll heart it. - Oh, is that an emoji? 891 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,417 - LARRY: Smiley-- - That's a nice smiley face. 892 00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:50,152 - Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. - Oh. Oh, the praise hands. 893 00:32:50,152 --> 00:32:52,989 - So you know the emojis, you just won't use them. - LARRY: Praise-- Praise hands. 894 00:32:52,989 --> 00:32:54,289 WAYLAN: Oh, nice. A thumbs-up. 895 00:32:54,289 --> 00:32:56,225 - Well, ha-ha to you, sir. - LARRY: Ha-ha! 896 00:32:56,225 --> 00:32:58,227 Ha-ha to you. Yeah, yeah. 897 00:32:58,227 --> 00:33:00,396 - Thank you. Fuck you. - Oh, ho-ho! 898 00:33:00,396 --> 00:33:03,633 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 899 00:33:03,633 --> 00:33:05,401 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 900 00:33:05,401 --> 00:33:08,037 - Larry! What a surprise. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 901 00:33:08,037 --> 00:33:11,140 Hi. Um, you know, I thought I'd come over 902 00:33:11,140 --> 00:33:14,243 and, uh, pick up the violin. 903 00:33:14,243 --> 00:33:16,212 You know, I don't want to appear insensitive, 904 00:33:16,212 --> 00:33:18,380 - but, you know, just in case. - Oh. No. 905 00:33:18,380 --> 00:33:20,115 I'll get-- I'll get a head start on things. 906 00:33:20,115 --> 00:33:22,184 No, there's no need. Freddy's here. 907 00:33:22,184 --> 00:33:24,287 - What? - Stu made a change. 908 00:33:24,287 --> 00:33:26,222 Freddy's taking the violin. 909 00:33:26,222 --> 00:33:28,361 - Are you-- What? - Yeah. 910 00:33:29,294 --> 00:33:31,760 - Hey! Hey! - (DOOR CLOSES) 911 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,495 LARRY: What are you-- What are you doing? 912 00:33:33,495 --> 00:33:35,330 - What are you doing here? - What are you doing? 913 00:33:35,330 --> 00:33:36,732 I'm fulfilling my obligation to Stu. 914 00:33:36,732 --> 00:33:38,333 - You don't get the violin. - FREDDY: Listen to me-- 915 00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:39,501 - I get the violin. - Listen. No, no, no, no. 916 00:33:39,501 --> 00:33:41,037 Stu put me in charge of the violin. 917 00:33:41,037 --> 00:33:42,371 LARRY: No, I think you're mistaken. 918 00:33:42,371 --> 00:33:43,506 - What's going on? - Doesn't Stu want me-- 919 00:33:43,506 --> 00:33:46,175 Freddy went to see Stu at the hospital, 920 00:33:46,175 --> 00:33:48,344 and he got tired, he fell asleep, 921 00:33:48,344 --> 00:33:52,181 and he had these nightmares about raising Olivia. 922 00:33:52,181 --> 00:33:55,417 Oh! (LAUGHS) Really? 923 00:33:55,417 --> 00:33:57,353 I wonder where you got that from! 924 00:33:57,353 --> 00:33:59,923 He was having nightmares! It's all bullshit! 925 00:33:59,923 --> 00:34:01,190 There's no nightmares! 926 00:34:01,190 --> 00:34:02,724 - It's a nightmare con! - (DOOR OPENS) 927 00:34:02,724 --> 00:34:04,994 And I know, 'cause I invented it! 928 00:34:04,994 --> 00:34:07,396 - It's a scam! - What! A scam? 929 00:34:07,396 --> 00:34:09,598 You invented the nightmare con? 930 00:34:09,598 --> 00:34:12,101 Jeff's dream was all a fucking lie? 931 00:34:12,101 --> 00:34:14,470 - No, but he-- I-- - Oh, I am so on to you 932 00:34:14,470 --> 00:34:15,833 and your little friend Jeff. 933 00:34:15,833 --> 00:34:17,373 Well, I didn't put him up to it. 934 00:34:17,373 --> 00:34:19,236 Oh, man, I'm gonna kill that fat motherfucker! 935 00:34:19,236 --> 00:34:21,677 Oh, I brought you a kale salad as a peace offering. 936 00:34:21,677 --> 00:34:23,479 You know, it hardly has any calories. 937 00:34:23,479 --> 00:34:25,314 And I'm gonna fucking kill him, Larry! 938 00:34:25,314 --> 00:34:27,916 And it's gonna be your fault! Enjoy. 939 00:34:27,916 --> 00:34:31,657 - ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (DOOR SLAMS) 940 00:34:32,756 --> 00:34:34,290 LARRY: No, no, no! Don't even think about it! 941 00:34:34,290 --> 00:34:35,658 - FREDDY: I move the Heifetz! - Don't! No, no, no, no! 942 00:34:35,658 --> 00:34:37,359 - They want me to have it! - Give me the fucking thing! 943 00:34:37,359 --> 00:34:38,660 - Give it to me! - GINA: Stop it! 944 00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:42,398 Stop it! Put it back! Put it back and get out! 945 00:34:42,398 --> 00:34:44,768 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 946 00:34:44,768 --> 00:34:45,838 All right. 947 00:34:47,105 --> 00:34:48,941 ♪ (PLUCKS VIOLIN) ♪ 948 00:34:52,805 --> 00:34:54,380 Yeah, I'm so sorry. 949 00:34:56,214 --> 00:34:57,416 (GASPS) 950 00:35:03,555 --> 00:35:04,753 Get out! 951 00:35:04,753 --> 00:35:08,527 I don't want either one of you taking care of anything! 952 00:35:10,996 --> 00:35:12,326 You have a lovely home. 953 00:35:15,133 --> 00:35:16,369 We'll, uh... 954 00:35:17,301 --> 00:35:18,837 We'll talk on the text chain. 955 00:35:21,205 --> 00:35:22,508 (STRING WHIPS) 956 00:35:24,743 --> 00:35:25,641 Okay. 957 00:35:25,641 --> 00:35:28,845 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 958 00:35:28,845 --> 00:35:30,783 (BOTH SIGH) 959 00:35:32,851 --> 00:35:35,117 - Not bad. Yeah? - Eh. 960 00:35:35,117 --> 00:35:36,918 - You know what? - Hmm? 961 00:35:36,918 --> 00:35:39,287 I think you would've been a much better dad. 962 00:35:39,287 --> 00:35:41,557 - Are we talking in all seriousness? - LARRY: In all seriousness. 963 00:35:41,557 --> 00:35:42,959 You would've been a hell of a father. 964 00:35:42,959 --> 00:35:43,925 LARRY: Are you kidding? 965 00:35:43,925 --> 00:35:46,062 Social workers would've descended on the house 966 00:35:46,062 --> 00:35:47,430 within two weeks. 967 00:35:47,430 --> 00:35:50,364 - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - (EXHALES) 968 00:35:52,370 --> 00:35:54,103 Oh. Hi. 969 00:35:54,103 --> 00:35:55,939 - I'm Renee. - Yeah. 970 00:35:55,939 --> 00:35:58,307 - We met. - I remember. 971 00:35:58,307 --> 00:36:00,409 Hey, listen. About the other day, 972 00:36:00,409 --> 00:36:02,344 I know it was really awkward, 973 00:36:02,344 --> 00:36:04,046 but it's not even really my thing. 974 00:36:04,046 --> 00:36:05,214 You know? It's Larry's thing. 975 00:36:05,214 --> 00:36:08,017 - He really likes that. I mean-- - Yeah. 976 00:36:08,017 --> 00:36:10,219 Anyway, uh, where's Larry? 977 00:36:10,219 --> 00:36:11,820 - He's not here. - RENEE: Got it. 978 00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:13,455 Well, I'm gonna leave this here for him, 979 00:36:13,455 --> 00:36:15,258 because someone from the gallery is gonna be by later 980 00:36:15,258 --> 00:36:19,161 to box it up before the showing, but I-- I wanted him to see it. 981 00:36:19,161 --> 00:36:20,599 - (GRUNTS) - I take it. 982 00:36:21,599 --> 00:36:23,169 Okay. Do you need some help? 983 00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:27,173 - ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ - Guess not. 984 00:36:37,114 --> 00:36:38,412 (AIRPLANE ENGINE RUMBLING) 985 00:36:41,285 --> 00:36:45,922 - (BABY CRYING) - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 986 00:36:45,922 --> 00:36:48,391 - (CART RATTLES) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 987 00:36:48,391 --> 00:36:51,425 Excuse me. Could I have a-- a water? 988 00:36:52,796 --> 00:36:54,129 PILOT: (OVER SPEAKER) This is your pilot speaking. 989 00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:56,666 I'm sorry to report that due to some inclement weather 990 00:36:56,666 --> 00:36:57,833 in the Raleigh-Durham area, 991 00:36:57,833 --> 00:36:59,802 this flight is being diverted to Greensboro. 992 00:36:59,802 --> 00:37:01,531 - (PASSENGERS GROAN) - PILOT: Ground control has informed me 993 00:37:01,531 --> 00:37:04,207 that we'll be able to bus you to your final destinations. 994 00:37:04,207 --> 00:37:07,180 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 995 00:37:16,354 --> 00:37:18,920 So he jumped right into Sheepshead Bay. 996 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:22,891 - Can you believe it? - (LAUGHS) Oh, no, that's crazy. 997 00:37:22,891 --> 00:37:26,999 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 998 00:37:28,099 --> 00:37:29,502 What the fuck? 999 00:37:30,101 --> 00:37:33,172 (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 1000 00:37:38,176 --> 00:37:40,546 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 1001 00:38:46,543 --> 00:38:48,314 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪