1 00:00:12,962 --> 00:00:16,007 So I needed a new lawyer, and Susie was going on and on 2 00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:17,465 about what a great lawyer you are. 3 00:00:17,465 --> 00:00:19,844 And then, the coup de gras, she told me your last name. 4 00:00:19,844 --> 00:00:22,263 Mantle. Christopher Mantle. 5 00:00:22,263 --> 00:00:25,765 Oh my God. I mean Mickey Mantle, he was my idol growing up. 6 00:00:25,765 --> 00:00:28,059 I don't follow baseball, but I know who Mickey Mantle is. 7 00:00:28,059 --> 00:00:29,520 Oh my God, it's an amazing name. 8 00:00:29,895 --> 00:00:32,106 Susie's great at connecting everybody. I love her. 9 00:00:32,106 --> 00:00:34,816 By the way, she mentioned you might be going to the temple 10 00:00:34,816 --> 00:00:36,234 for the reopening of the plaza thing. 11 00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:40,405 I'm being dragged there by this woman who I'm connected to somehow. 12 00:00:40,405 --> 00:00:42,949 - I'm being dragged there, too. - Really? 13 00:00:42,949 --> 00:00:44,410 Yeah, my husband is Jewish. 14 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:47,955 We're both being dragged. Look at that. 15 00:00:47,955 --> 00:00:50,666 So, I familiarized myself with the case, 16 00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:53,169 like the rest of America, and listen to me, Larry. 17 00:00:53,169 --> 00:00:56,129 This is the most unconstitutional law that's ever been passed. 18 00:00:56,129 --> 00:00:58,341 The law should be on trial, not you. 19 00:00:58,341 --> 00:01:01,676 So I'm confident this will get cleared up quickly. 20 00:01:02,094 --> 00:01:03,929 And I'll file something by the end of the week, 21 00:01:03,929 --> 00:01:06,140 which is the cutoff date to file a motion to dismiss. 22 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,183 So all will be taken care of. You can rest easy. 23 00:01:08,183 --> 00:01:10,478 Oh my God, that is music to my ears. 24 00:01:10,478 --> 00:01:13,898 We're gonna avoid a trial, and it's gonna be tossed out. 25 00:01:13,898 --> 00:01:17,817 Mr. Mantle. You just hit a home run. You know? 26 00:01:17,817 --> 00:01:19,695 That's fantastic. 27 00:01:19,695 --> 00:01:24,158 So the good news is I can still parade around like I'm a hero of sorts 28 00:01:24,657 --> 00:01:27,702 without having to go to trial, or prison, or anything. 29 00:01:27,702 --> 00:01:30,538 You will not have to go to trial. You will not be going to prison. 30 00:01:30,538 --> 00:01:32,208 Mr. Mantle, Denise on line one. 31 00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:33,750 One second. Sorry. 32 00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,919 Hello? Yeah. 33 00:01:37,170 --> 00:01:41,842 Really? Oh, that's great. Can you put that back, Larr? 34 00:01:41,842 --> 00:01:45,136 Yeah, it's great. Thank you so much, Denise. Okay, bye. 35 00:01:45,136 --> 00:01:46,930 Sorry about that. That was my surrogate. 36 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:48,807 My husband and I are having a baby. 37 00:01:48,807 --> 00:01:52,060 Congratulations. Big news. That's great. 38 00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:54,062 - We're really excited. - You like the surrogate? 39 00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:55,355 I do. She's really sweet. 40 00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:58,442 She took an IQ test? You don't want to get a moron, right? 41 00:01:58,442 --> 00:02:01,946 - You're sure she's not a moron? - Yes. Thank you for your concern. 42 00:02:01,946 --> 00:02:04,656 Let me ask you a question. How does it work with a gay couple? 43 00:02:04,656 --> 00:02:06,409 Who gets to choose the last name? 44 00:02:06,409 --> 00:02:09,912 We had a discussion, and we chose my husband's name. 45 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,247 - Which is? - Zeckelman. 46 00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:19,005 You're going with Zeckelman over Mantle? 47 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,005 Is there something wrong with his last name? 48 00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:23,800 It's not the greatest last name in the world, 49 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,012 but Mantle is one of the great names. 50 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:30,807 Well, thank you. I personally think Zeckelman is also a great name. 51 00:02:32,726 --> 00:02:33,894 Is that okay? 52 00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:36,522 It's okay. It's not so great for the kid. 53 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:37,981 Why is it not great for the kid? 54 00:02:37,981 --> 00:02:42,028 I don't know any Zeckelman's who hit 536 home runs. 55 00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,821 Yet. 56 00:02:43,821 --> 00:02:46,657 - Okay. - Nice to meet you, Larry. 57 00:02:46,657 --> 00:02:48,617 - Nice to meet you. - I'll see you at temple. 58 00:02:48,617 --> 00:02:53,080 - Are you going with Zeckelman? - I'm going with Zeckelman, yeah. 59 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,540 Great. See you there. 60 00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:55,874 Okay. 61 00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,543 Let me tell you. I met the greatest girl. 62 00:02:58,543 --> 00:03:01,005 Her name is Jenna, and she's pretty incredible. 63 00:03:01,005 --> 00:03:03,841 Been going on for a couple weeks. She's really funny. 64 00:03:03,841 --> 00:03:06,885 She's smart. She knows music. She challenges me. 65 00:03:06,885 --> 00:03:08,970 - Great conversationalist. - What does she do? 66 00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:11,639 She works for Disney. I think she's an executive. 67 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,309 She always is talking about the film. 68 00:03:13,309 --> 00:03:15,144 She knows all the things that are coming out. 69 00:03:15,144 --> 00:03:17,729 I mean, she was talking about, like, the princess costumes 70 00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,230 and where they're going and evolving. 71 00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:22,276 Just to be involved in steering the television and the films is a lot, 72 00:03:22,276 --> 00:03:25,112 but she's got to keep it in her mind, like, "How do I turn that into a ride?" 73 00:03:25,112 --> 00:03:28,615 That's pretty impressive, yeah. I've never heard you talk like this. 74 00:03:28,615 --> 00:03:30,493 Well, I've never felt this way before. 75 00:03:30,493 --> 00:03:31,702 Sports. She into sports? 76 00:03:31,702 --> 00:03:33,579 It's too soon. I haven't gotten into sports yet. 77 00:03:33,579 --> 00:03:36,582 If you get sports here, it's too much. 78 00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:38,542 If I get sports, you're my best man. 79 00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:40,586 If she working at Disney, next time you talk to her, 80 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:42,213 ask her about that fine-ass Tinkerbell. 81 00:03:42,213 --> 00:03:43,547 You're attracted to Tinkerbell? 82 00:03:43,547 --> 00:03:46,216 Tinkerbell flies her little ass. She put her little booty out. 83 00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:49,928 With that little booty tooch. That little booty go out, and bling! 84 00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:52,889 It speaks of a very unusual perversion. 85 00:03:52,889 --> 00:03:55,850 A man attracted to a thimble-sized fairy. 86 00:03:55,850 --> 00:03:59,522 Tinkerbell fine as fuck. I'll put her in my motherfucking pocket. 87 00:03:59,522 --> 00:04:01,440 And I'll just walk around knowing she home. 88 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,608 And she flies her little ass out there, give me a little kiss on the cheek 89 00:04:03,608 --> 00:04:04,735 and flies the fuck off. 90 00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:09,657 That's a nice-ass jacket you got, too. 91 00:04:09,657 --> 00:04:11,366 - Yeah. Thank you. - Looks good on you. 92 00:04:11,366 --> 00:04:12,534 I really like it. 93 00:04:12,534 --> 00:04:14,704 And you wouldn't normally think suede would be nice. 94 00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,372 'Cause it's a darker green. Isn't it nice? 95 00:04:16,372 --> 00:04:18,749 Look at that fish. What's up with that fish? 96 00:04:19,374 --> 00:04:22,003 - Looks like it's stuck. - Look at him struggle. 97 00:04:22,003 --> 00:04:24,672 His little nose is trapped in that filter. 98 00:04:25,505 --> 00:04:27,800 - Excuse me. - Yes, sir? 99 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,594 That fish, it looks like he's stuck. 100 00:04:30,594 --> 00:04:33,096 No, fish not stuck, fish sick. 101 00:04:33,096 --> 00:04:34,765 No, no, fish stuck. 102 00:04:34,765 --> 00:04:37,726 This time of year is tough for fish, so fish gets sick easily. 103 00:04:37,726 --> 00:04:40,062 The filter is very warm, so it make him feel better. 104 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,312 So it's okay. It's normal. 105 00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:43,441 Seriously? Look at that. That fish is stuck. 106 00:04:43,441 --> 00:04:45,817 See, fish wiggle, it mean fish sneeze. 107 00:04:45,817 --> 00:04:47,569 Fish don't sneeze. The fish didn't sneeze. 108 00:04:47,569 --> 00:04:49,529 - No, fish sneeze. - This guy's stuck. 109 00:04:49,529 --> 00:04:51,198 - Fish sick now. - Fish stuck. 110 00:04:51,198 --> 00:04:53,034 Well, he's gonna get sick if he stays stuck. 111 00:04:54,118 --> 00:04:55,994 Can someone go in the tank and unstuck? 112 00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:57,913 Sir, it's not necessary. Fish sick. 113 00:04:57,913 --> 00:04:59,831 - You're out of your mind. - You know what? 114 00:04:59,831 --> 00:05:01,751 All this talk about fish, now I want fish. 115 00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:04,754 - Give me the snapper off the menu. - Fish delicious. Okay. 116 00:05:04,754 --> 00:05:06,756 - My man. - No, that's a stuck fish. 117 00:05:06,756 --> 00:05:08,631 I feel so bad for that fish. 118 00:05:08,631 --> 00:05:10,633 At least that motherfucker can't drown. 119 00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:15,847 Great meeting everybody. Keep coming back. 120 00:05:15,847 --> 00:05:17,183 It works if you work it. 121 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:29,904 Hey, if it worked for you, then that's all I care about. 122 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,407 Hey. 123 00:05:33,407 --> 00:05:36,451 You're not supposed to have these. These are for everybody. 124 00:05:36,451 --> 00:05:40,038 - They count it exactly. - What? There's tons of 'em. 125 00:05:40,038 --> 00:05:42,041 Hey, Larry. Thanks for coming. 126 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:44,000 Hey, good to see ya. 127 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,087 Tell ya what, you alcoholics, you know your way around a good donut. 128 00:05:47,087 --> 00:05:49,881 - I guess that's true. - Are you addicted to these now? 129 00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:51,508 Well, as you can tell. 130 00:05:52,342 --> 00:05:55,388 You know, Richard Lewis is here. He spoke during the meeting. 131 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,348 Well, he took over the meeting. It was a lot. 132 00:05:58,348 --> 00:05:59,809 It was his turn to share. 133 00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:01,684 'Cause he shared and shared and shared. 134 00:06:01,684 --> 00:06:04,438 A lot of people find it funny, but he works so blue. 135 00:06:04,438 --> 00:06:08,900 I heard the word "hell" like three times. 136 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:12,655 - Listen... - Just ask him. 137 00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:15,490 He gets this all the time, trust me. 138 00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:17,660 - I'm embarrassed. - That's okay. Don't be embarrassed. 139 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,077 Be embarrassed. Don't ask. 140 00:06:20,204 --> 00:06:21,955 If you don't have to, don't. 141 00:06:21,955 --> 00:06:24,874 My daughter, she wants to be a writer. 142 00:06:24,874 --> 00:06:28,963 I just wondered if you had anybody that maybe could read her stuff? 143 00:06:32,966 --> 00:06:35,885 Sheesh. Let me think about it. 144 00:06:35,885 --> 00:06:38,430 - Really? - What the hell are you doing, man? 145 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,724 - He hates being hugged. - There's no touching here. 146 00:06:43,393 --> 00:06:45,104 Really, I appreciate the compliment. 147 00:06:45,813 --> 00:06:48,189 - You should've seen me today. - You had a good meeting? 148 00:06:48,189 --> 00:06:51,317 I got laughs bigger than I've ever gotten before at a meeting. 149 00:06:51,317 --> 00:06:53,070 I thought you were supposed to share here. 150 00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,488 It sounds like you're doing stand-up. 151 00:06:54,488 --> 00:06:56,364 - It's not stand-up. - You're talking like it's stand-up. 152 00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:58,743 I can't divorce my comic self. 153 00:06:58,743 --> 00:07:02,038 Part of me will always be a comedian and a drunk. 154 00:07:02,038 --> 00:07:04,247 I wish you would come and see me sometime. 155 00:07:04,247 --> 00:07:05,790 Hey. Excuse me, Larry. 156 00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:09,252 You absolutely murdered it tonight. Big laughs. 157 00:07:09,252 --> 00:07:12,465 Come back next time. I'll do new stuff. They love me. 158 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,801 What is going on here? This doesn't sound like an AA meeting. 159 00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:18,220 - It sounds like a concert. - I'm doing a service. 160 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,306 But l want people to laugh and enjoy. 161 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,932 Do you let anybody else talk? 162 00:07:21,932 --> 00:07:25,101 There was a sad old lady who opened for me, but she only did 10 minutes. 163 00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:28,271 The only problem is you're doing your act, but nobody's drinking. 164 00:07:28,271 --> 00:07:29,565 Imagine if they were drinking. 165 00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:32,360 If they were drinking, the roof would be blown off. 166 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,944 - You know, forget about it. - Excuse me. I'm sorry. 167 00:07:34,944 --> 00:07:38,114 That was just incredible. I had to thank you. 168 00:07:38,114 --> 00:07:39,824 - A lot of laughs? - A lot of laughs. 169 00:07:39,824 --> 00:07:42,578 The bartender from hell part, I was crying. 170 00:07:42,578 --> 00:07:44,245 - Did that work? - Yeah, it totally worked. 171 00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:46,165 Have a good night. Thank you. 172 00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:48,416 - I'm here, like, twice a week. - Okay, good. Thanks. 173 00:07:48,416 --> 00:07:49,752 The bartender from hell. 174 00:07:49,752 --> 00:07:53,923 I do the "from hell" on occasion, but I'm workshopping a few other things. 175 00:07:53,923 --> 00:07:56,801 I'll tell ya, another couple of meetings like this, I'll have a special. 176 00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,387 That's a fantastic idea. The AA special. 177 00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:00,971 This is the hook I've been looking for. 178 00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:04,892 Why not talk about being sober, but get a special with HBO? 179 00:08:04,892 --> 00:08:06,102 There you go. 180 00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:07,769 Thank you. That's why we're best friends. 181 00:08:07,769 --> 00:08:09,396 The Drunk From Hell concert. 182 00:08:14,068 --> 00:08:16,569 - Hors d'oeuvres? - I don't think so. 183 00:08:16,569 --> 00:08:19,114 - What is this? - You're gonna eat that? 184 00:08:19,114 --> 00:08:22,868 I may go get something else, so I need to build a base with some rice. 185 00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:25,746 - Yeah, go build your rice base. - You gonna be okay on your own? 186 00:08:25,746 --> 00:08:28,874 - It'll be tough, but yeah. - Stay right there. 187 00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:37,090 - Hey! - Good to see ya. 188 00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:39,384 Larry, this is Jenna, who I told you so much about. 189 00:08:39,384 --> 00:08:41,762 - So nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. 190 00:08:42,471 --> 00:08:45,390 - He talked. He did some talking. - Did he? 191 00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:49,770 He did. I'm hearing talk. A lot of talk. 192 00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:53,523 It's kind of fortuitous that I ran into you, because... 193 00:08:53,983 --> 00:08:55,943 All right, here we go, okay? 194 00:08:55,943 --> 00:09:00,114 First of all, I hate asking for favors almost as much as I hate doing favors. 195 00:09:00,114 --> 00:09:02,742 And so, I have a friend whose daughter wrote a script, 196 00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:07,788 and the guy asked me if l knew anybody who could read the script, 197 00:09:07,788 --> 00:09:11,541 and Freddy told me all about you, and would you mind reading it? 198 00:09:11,541 --> 00:09:16,672 - You want me to read the script? - I'm sure you're really busy. 199 00:09:16,672 --> 00:09:19,050 - l would love to read the script. - You're kidding. 200 00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:20,301 No, I'd be excited. 201 00:09:20,301 --> 00:09:24,221 Maybe if you had any notes, you know, feel free, you know. 202 00:09:24,221 --> 00:09:26,682 - Totally. - I'm sure she would love that. 203 00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:29,768 - I can give her notes. - Where did you find her? 204 00:09:29,768 --> 00:09:32,395 - Where's the planet? - Did I oversell? 205 00:09:32,395 --> 00:09:35,691 - There's no more. - Stop. I'm blushing. 206 00:09:35,691 --> 00:09:37,026 I'll get you guys set up. 207 00:09:37,026 --> 00:09:39,362 We got to run along and meet a couple other people. 208 00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:41,822 - So nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. 209 00:09:42,822 --> 00:09:44,408 - This is the guy? - Yes, that's him. 210 00:09:44,408 --> 00:09:47,536 - Right here? - But we don't have to make a thing. 211 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:50,497 Just give me a second. Hey. Larry? 212 00:09:50,497 --> 00:09:54,627 Abe Zeckelman. You have a problem with the name of our child? 213 00:09:56,252 --> 00:09:58,673 - I wouldn't say it's a problem. - Well, what is it? 214 00:09:58,673 --> 00:10:02,134 I thought that given the choice of Mantle and Zeckelman 215 00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:04,552 that Mantle was a better name. 216 00:10:04,552 --> 00:10:05,805 Based on what exactly? 217 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,430 Let's be honest, it's not a great name. 218 00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:09,475 - What's wrong with it? - Zeckelman? Come on. 219 00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:11,435 You seem really worked up over my last name. 220 00:10:11,435 --> 00:10:14,104 If you think that's a great name, then what's a bad name? 221 00:10:14,104 --> 00:10:16,314 I'd rather have a bad last name than no last name. 222 00:10:16,314 --> 00:10:19,110 My name's Larry. I don't think it's a great name. I'm honest about it. 223 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:21,903 Would I rather be a Dash, or a Dazzy, or a Dan? 224 00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:24,740 Well, the good thing about an opinion is that you can keep it to yourself. 225 00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:27,201 But then everybody would walk around not saying anything. 226 00:10:27,201 --> 00:10:29,619 - You're not keeping this to yourself. - No, I couldn't keep this to myself. 227 00:10:29,619 --> 00:10:31,330 I couldn't keep that to myself. 228 00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,665 It's a deeply inappropriate conversation to be having. 229 00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:36,668 Just think about the playground. He's in a unique situation. 230 00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:38,629 What's that supposed to mean? 231 00:10:38,629 --> 00:10:41,089 Well, you know, the two dads. 232 00:10:41,089 --> 00:10:43,384 Yeah, it's not that unique of a situation. 233 00:10:43,384 --> 00:10:46,052 - Maybe it's not unique. Different. - Different? 234 00:10:46,803 --> 00:10:49,724 - Slightly different? - To us, it's normal. 235 00:10:49,724 --> 00:10:51,474 Yeah... 236 00:10:51,474 --> 00:10:54,644 Let me ask you this question. How did you decide on the last name anyway? 237 00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:56,772 I assume it's your semen, right? 238 00:10:57,605 --> 00:10:59,983 - What did you just say? - We're talking about semen now. 239 00:10:59,983 --> 00:11:02,653 I assume it's your semen? That's how you got Zeckelman? 240 00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:05,864 - We're having this conversation? - I'm just wondering how you got there. 241 00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:09,452 - It's my semen. - If you must know, it's his semen. 242 00:11:09,452 --> 00:11:11,537 - It's your semen? - What's the problem with that? 243 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:16,709 I mean, you would think that the donor would get the name. 244 00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,211 Well, we had a conversation at home about it. 245 00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:20,462 Because it's a private thing. 246 00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:24,258 I don't know if you've chosen a first name, but if you need any help, 247 00:11:24,632 --> 00:11:25,675 I'm your guy. 248 00:11:25,675 --> 00:11:29,638 - 'Cause you got two first names. - Off the top of my head, Ziggy. 249 00:11:29,638 --> 00:11:32,391 - Ziggy Zeckelman. - You think that's a great name? 250 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,060 I do. Scooter Zeckelman? 251 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,227 They're all good names. We'll put 'em both in the hat. 252 00:11:36,227 --> 00:11:39,064 - We're not putting that in the hat. - How 'bout Foots? 253 00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:41,441 Is our family a joke to you, Larry? 254 00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:43,902 No! Zeckelman needs a cool first name! 255 00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:46,780 I think I've had enough of this conversation. 256 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,823 - Great to meet you, Larry. - Doc Zeckelman. 257 00:11:48,823 --> 00:11:51,034 - Doc Zeckelman is a joke. - Ace. 258 00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:52,869 - I'm gonna go get some food. - Ace Zeckelman? 259 00:11:52,869 --> 00:11:55,372 - That's not a great name? - We're gonna talk about it at home. 260 00:11:55,372 --> 00:11:59,752 Dewey, Duncan, Deegan. Deegan. After the Major Deegan Expressway. 261 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:02,128 - We got plenty of options. - I'm giving you gold here. 262 00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:05,716 Chris. Forget it. 263 00:12:05,716 --> 00:12:07,134 - What? - Don't bother. 264 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,136 I got to go. 265 00:12:09,719 --> 00:12:12,055 Babe, come on. Come back. 266 00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:30,031 What the fuck? 267 00:12:33,785 --> 00:12:36,998 Excuse me. Rabbi Adelman? Can I talk to you for a second? 268 00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:39,250 - Sorry to interrupt. - I'm glad you're here today. 269 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,168 - Who's in charge of the bricks? - I am. 270 00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,671 You are? You know there's a brick that says, 271 00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:46,757 "L. David is disrespectful to women"? You allowed that to be up there? 272 00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,467 We don't really edit the bricks. 273 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,928 The donor gets to express what thoughts and feelings they have. 274 00:12:51,928 --> 00:12:53,973 So anybody can write anything they want on a brick? 275 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:57,309 - Well, we would not like hate speech. - That's hate speech. 276 00:12:57,309 --> 00:13:00,770 - I think it's strong dislike speech. - I want that taken down. 277 00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:03,022 We only add bricks. We don't take them away. 278 00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:07,403 You don't remove bricks? That brick is gonna be up there forever. 279 00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:09,071 Posterity. 280 00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:13,033 There's nothing in the Old Testament about defamatory bricks? 281 00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,785 You think if Isaac chiseled something defamatory about Jedediah, 282 00:13:15,785 --> 00:13:17,370 you think it wouldn't be taken down? 283 00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:19,999 There's nothing in the Torah about defamatory bricks. 284 00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:23,294 You know what this is, Rabbi? This is a shanda. 285 00:13:23,294 --> 00:13:25,712 - Will you excuse me? - Certainly. 286 00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:28,923 Larry? 287 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,594 Oh my God! This is crazy. 288 00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:35,972 Hi, again. What a treat. 289 00:13:35,972 --> 00:13:38,642 Usually most people you don't really want to run into either, 290 00:13:38,642 --> 00:13:40,770 but l'm not minding this at all. 291 00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:43,189 - Me neither. Likewise. - So what are you doing here? 292 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,941 I'm actually in the process of converting to Judaism. 293 00:13:46,941 --> 00:13:50,987 - Yeah, that's my rabbi. - Get the hell out of here. What? 294 00:13:50,987 --> 00:13:53,240 - You're joining the team? - I am. 295 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,328 We are so happy to have you. Are you prepared to complain a lot? 296 00:13:57,328 --> 00:13:59,954 Please, I can kvetch with the best of them. Come on. 297 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:05,210 Very impressive. I'd be remiss if I didn't ask, why? 298 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:08,798 I like the whole thing. I like the food and the community, 299 00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:11,800 and truth be told, you know, I like the men. 300 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,011 Aside from the obvious, you know, reasons. 301 00:14:14,011 --> 00:14:18,015 These obvious reasons escape me. What are they? 302 00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:22,603 I mean, you know, their... Can't deal with the alternative. 303 00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:28,483 - Yeah. It's so good to see you. - Very good to see you, too. 304 00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:31,111 I have one question for you. What is this wall? 305 00:14:31,111 --> 00:14:36,158 This is for tennis. They put the winners of the tournament up. 306 00:14:36,158 --> 00:14:39,994 You guys do a temple tennis tournament? I am obsessed with tennis. 307 00:14:39,994 --> 00:14:42,205 I know, but it's just a wall. 308 00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:45,001 You should enter the tournament next year. 309 00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:48,336 They have a temple tournament? Mixed doubles? 310 00:14:48,336 --> 00:14:49,754 Mixed doubles, yeah. 311 00:14:49,754 --> 00:14:53,884 Amazing. How's everything? How's the whole court case? 312 00:14:53,884 --> 00:14:55,845 It's scary, yeah. It's a frightening prospect. 313 00:14:55,845 --> 00:15:00,598 I could plead guilty and just get off, but I'm not gonna do that. 314 00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:04,270 - And I don't think it's a big deal. - That's so sweet. 315 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,148 Listen, I'm having a dinner party next week. 316 00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:11,819 I don't know if you're around, but I'd love you to come. 317 00:15:13,069 --> 00:15:15,990 Really. There are so many people that would love to meet you and talk to you, 318 00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:17,907 and I would love to see you again. 319 00:15:17,907 --> 00:15:21,203 So, maybe? Next week sometime? 320 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:25,874 If you're here. It would be an honor for all of us. What do you say? 321 00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:31,588 I don't think I can make it. 322 00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:37,636 Okay. Well, let's just hope we can run into each other again. 323 00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:40,264 - Yeah, hope so. - Yeah. I got to schmeitz. 324 00:15:40,264 --> 00:15:42,767 You what? What's that one? 325 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:46,103 Got to go. It's Yiddish. 326 00:15:46,103 --> 00:15:48,521 - That's a new one to me. - There you go. 327 00:15:53,402 --> 00:15:56,655 I'm running a little late, so you can just drop me off here. 328 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:59,115 - Are you sure? - Yeah. I work right there. 329 00:15:59,115 --> 00:16:01,911 I don't mind taking you a little further if it's... 330 00:16:01,911 --> 00:16:04,789 No, this is great. I work right there. 331 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:08,458 Do you work above the Disney store? They have an office or something? 332 00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,920 No, I work at the Disney store. 333 00:16:11,461 --> 00:16:14,131 So you're managing the different stores or... 334 00:16:14,131 --> 00:16:16,716 Oh, God no. I don't have the head for numbers. 335 00:16:16,716 --> 00:16:19,595 I'm so sorry. What do you do here? 336 00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:22,098 I'm a greeter, and I talk to the guests. 337 00:16:22,098 --> 00:16:25,308 I put on a costume, like a princess, 338 00:16:25,308 --> 00:16:28,561 like Snow White or Elsa or Ariel. 339 00:16:28,561 --> 00:16:32,650 My favorite is Mickey's favorite, 340 00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:37,028 Minnie Mouse. It's the best. 341 00:16:37,028 --> 00:16:39,198 - And you do all of that... - Right there. 342 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,866 At the Disney store? 343 00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:43,660 You know what would be so helpful with that is the "store" part. 344 00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:47,455 "Hello. Come in. The most magical store in the mall." 345 00:16:47,455 --> 00:16:51,626 You don't have any managerial or developmental role at Disney at all? 346 00:16:51,626 --> 00:16:53,754 No. I mean, I'm a senior character. 347 00:16:53,754 --> 00:16:58,217 - What's a junior character? - I would say, like, Doc McStuffins. 348 00:16:59,135 --> 00:17:01,636 But listen, I got to go. I had so much fun last night. 349 00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:04,724 - It was a great evening. - I'll see you later. Bye. 350 00:17:05,598 --> 00:17:09,562 Oh boy! Bye. 351 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,856 All right. Save it for in there. Don't drain the tank with me. 352 00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:22,700 - How did you not know that? - How would I know? 353 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,660 We're talking about movies and music, and she tells me she works for Disney. 354 00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,955 You never asked her about her job? What about Disney? 355 00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,164 What department? 356 00:17:29,164 --> 00:17:33,377 She lives in Glendale. I just assumed she's like animation or something. 357 00:17:33,377 --> 00:17:35,420 I didn't know she was working at the fucking Americana. 358 00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:37,590 I feel like I've been living a lie, I got to be honest. 359 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:40,633 I had this whole great thing in my head that I was excited about, 360 00:17:40,633 --> 00:17:42,136 and now I just feel crushed. 361 00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:44,221 Well, you had somebody who's accomplished. 362 00:17:44,221 --> 00:17:47,057 She had a status, and the status is gone. 363 00:17:47,057 --> 00:17:48,641 So what is that saying about you? 364 00:17:48,641 --> 00:17:51,519 You're right. It does say something about me. 365 00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:55,148 The problem is this makes you reflect on who you are, 366 00:17:55,148 --> 00:17:57,192 because she's the same person. 367 00:17:57,192 --> 00:17:59,653 It's the same great stories. It's the same sense of humor. 368 00:17:59,653 --> 00:18:02,113 It's the same likes and dislikes, but it feels so different. 369 00:18:02,113 --> 00:18:04,824 I think there's a lesson to be learned here. 370 00:18:04,824 --> 00:18:07,702 Questions. Women like questions. 371 00:18:07,702 --> 00:18:11,165 When you have a date with someone, you've got to ask a ton of questions. 372 00:18:11,165 --> 00:18:12,874 Otherwise, they're going back to their friends, 373 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,210 and you know what they're saying? "He didn't ask me one question." 374 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:17,837 - They love questions. - What would you do? Honestly. 375 00:18:17,837 --> 00:18:20,215 I'm so superficial, I'd probably break up. 376 00:18:20,215 --> 00:18:21,424 Right away? 377 00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:23,636 Yeah. I'm not gonna date Minnie Mouse. 378 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,096 I think the thing I got to do is at least kind of try. 379 00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:28,223 You know, spend some time with her and bridge the gap. 380 00:18:28,223 --> 00:18:30,308 - Oh my God. - What is it? 381 00:18:31,769 --> 00:18:34,437 I gave her a script to read. She said she'd be happy to! 382 00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:36,732 Why didn't you ask her what kind of development she did? 383 00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:38,983 - Why is she taking a script? - Are you gonna listen to the notes? 384 00:18:38,983 --> 00:18:41,319 I'm gonna listen to the notes from Minnie Mouse! 385 00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:47,910 The callback to the Corona ad on the beach? So, so good. I loved that part. 386 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,370 Thank you. 387 00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:55,041 Honestly, Dana, it's really refreshing to see a comedic, apocalyptic show. 388 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,878 - So you're buying the whole premise? - Totally. 389 00:18:57,878 --> 00:18:59,588 'Cause it's out there. 390 00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:03,216 And when it comes to questions, one last thing. Meg. 391 00:19:03,216 --> 00:19:05,802 - I didn't understand. - You didn't understand? 392 00:19:05,802 --> 00:19:09,306 Like, what she wanted? Yeah. I struggled with that. 393 00:19:09,306 --> 00:19:11,934 She's a little one dimensional. I had more in there. 394 00:19:11,934 --> 00:19:14,644 Like, her backstory, what she went to school for, all that stuff. 395 00:19:14,644 --> 00:19:18,815 I think you should put it back. Does it feel long? 396 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,694 Yes. And I almost trimmed it. 397 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:26,198 I'm so embarrassed. I just need to tighten it up. 398 00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,950 Dana, I think you have such a good script here. 399 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,828 - Thank you so much. - You're getting me so, so excited. 400 00:19:31,828 --> 00:19:34,748 And I just want to thank you for letting me read it. 401 00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:37,209 Are you kidding me? Thank you for reading it. 402 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,337 And if there's anything else you want me to read... 403 00:19:39,337 --> 00:19:40,920 - Are you serious? - Of course. 404 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,800 I'm so excited for you and your future. And oh my God, oh my God. 405 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,719 We're coming out with a new line of Little Mermaid sleepwear, 406 00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,972 and I get a discount, so if you text me your sizes, 407 00:19:49,972 --> 00:19:51,431 I can hook you up. 408 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:54,852 Hey, you want some of this? 409 00:19:54,852 --> 00:19:56,437 - You wash your hands? - No. 410 00:19:56,437 --> 00:19:57,813 'Cause you're making it for yourself, 411 00:19:57,813 --> 00:19:59,899 so you're doing all this stuff like a third base coach. No. 412 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:04,110 - What you guys talking about? - Look at this. I come bearing gifts. 413 00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:06,529 - Shit, man. Don't do this. - What do we think it is? 414 00:20:06,529 --> 00:20:08,281 - Are you kidding me? - No. 415 00:20:08,949 --> 00:20:11,242 You said you liked it, and so I'm giving it to you. 416 00:20:11,242 --> 00:20:13,328 - I did say that. - Come on, do us the honors. 417 00:20:13,328 --> 00:20:14,955 I'ma put this shit on, man. 418 00:20:15,663 --> 00:20:17,375 - Looking sharp. - Holy cow. 419 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,708 I think it looks incredible. 420 00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:20,877 Anybody want to get Chinese food for lunch today? 421 00:20:20,877 --> 00:20:22,004 Nah. Fuck that. 422 00:20:22,004 --> 00:20:23,839 I can't 'cause I got to see Minnie Mouse. 423 00:20:23,839 --> 00:20:26,676 I'm gonna have a better attitude about it. She's the same person, right? 424 00:20:26,676 --> 00:20:29,719 I got a date, and I'm gonna keep it, and I'm gonna make it work. 425 00:20:29,719 --> 00:20:31,889 - Thank you for everything. - Appreciate it too, man. 426 00:20:31,889 --> 00:20:35,101 - I appreciate you. - Appreciate you, Secret Santa. 427 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,603 Jesus, that's amazing he gave you that jacket. That was so nice. 428 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,938 It's the "I like it" gambit. 429 00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:42,440 All you got to do is compliment people on what the fuck they're wearing, 430 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,025 and they gonna give you one. 431 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,278 You know what? It's not a bad idea. 432 00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,654 It's a fucking great idea. 433 00:20:47,654 --> 00:20:50,073 I'll bet that works like 50% of the time. 434 00:20:50,073 --> 00:20:53,244 Wish I had a suede durag to go with this motherfucker. 435 00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:01,042 Fuck you, Larry. 436 00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:02,962 Fuck you, Larry! 437 00:21:04,505 --> 00:21:05,714 So what's going on? 438 00:21:05,714 --> 00:21:09,218 You know, not that much. What is this material? 439 00:21:09,218 --> 00:21:11,012 - What do you call this material? - Cotton. 440 00:21:11,345 --> 00:21:13,555 - You think this is cotton? - Why are you here? 441 00:21:14,223 --> 00:21:16,475 Well, it's very simple, really. 442 00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:19,311 So they renovated the temple, and they have this plaza, 443 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,230 and they were selling these bricks for charity. 444 00:21:21,230 --> 00:21:24,900 And Hobie Turner wrote something very defamatory about me, 445 00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,317 and it's there for everyone to see. 446 00:21:26,317 --> 00:21:28,487 It says, "Larry David is disrespectful to women." 447 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:30,739 Come on, Cheryl. I love women. 448 00:21:30,739 --> 00:21:33,659 Who loves women more than me? I love having sex with them. 449 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,287 I love talking to them. I'm a champion of women. 450 00:21:36,287 --> 00:21:39,498 Being a champion to women is saying that you love... 451 00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:41,292 Well, it means I'm attracted to women. I like them. 452 00:21:41,292 --> 00:21:42,751 There's a difference. 453 00:21:42,751 --> 00:21:45,045 So I'd like to refute his brick 454 00:21:45,045 --> 00:21:48,715 by having somebody who I know write something nice about me. 455 00:21:48,715 --> 00:21:49,842 - On the brick? - Yes. 456 00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,635 "I was married to Larry David for many years," 457 00:21:52,635 --> 00:21:55,806 "and he's a veritable champion of women." Something like that. 458 00:21:55,806 --> 00:21:58,434 Right next to it. They'll read his first. They'll read yours second. 459 00:21:58,434 --> 00:21:59,893 You buy a brick. 460 00:22:01,645 --> 00:22:03,563 - I don't think so. - Why not? 461 00:22:03,563 --> 00:22:06,900 - It doesn't feel right. - What's not right? 462 00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:10,111 - Because it sounds bullshitty. - You don't have to say that exactly. 463 00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:14,532 Say something nice. You think you could come up with something nice? 464 00:22:14,532 --> 00:22:17,369 - Hey, Cheryl? - Hi. 465 00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:20,373 Hi, Larry. Can we run lines when he goes? 466 00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:25,378 Well, Larry has a defamatory brick, and he wants me to buy more bricks. 467 00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:27,963 Yeah, somebody wrote a defamatory brick about me. 468 00:22:27,963 --> 00:22:30,049 It says, "Larry David is disrespectful to women." 469 00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:32,927 Terrible, terrible thing to say. And I love women, Ted. 470 00:22:32,927 --> 00:22:34,886 Well, he loves having sex with women, 471 00:22:34,886 --> 00:22:38,807 and he thinks that that proves that he respects women. 472 00:22:38,807 --> 00:22:40,476 And there are other things, too. 473 00:22:40,476 --> 00:22:46,022 Larry, completely understand. The deal is we already bought a brick, right? 474 00:22:46,022 --> 00:22:47,899 Yeah, we already bought a brick. 475 00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:51,070 You didn't even know what I was talking about when I brought up the brick. 476 00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:53,739 You probably told me, and I forgot or something. I don't know. 477 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:58,661 Maybe I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry. But we did. We bought a brick. 478 00:22:58,661 --> 00:23:00,662 Ted does a lot of things. He's very charitable. 479 00:23:00,662 --> 00:23:04,082 You bought a brick, huh? And what does your brick say, Ted? 480 00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:05,751 Nothing. We left it blank. 481 00:23:06,502 --> 00:23:09,088 - The brick says nothing? - Yeah. You know, we're raising money. 482 00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:10,673 We're not trying to advertise. 483 00:23:10,673 --> 00:23:13,174 I don't think you bought a brick. What do you think about that? 484 00:23:13,174 --> 00:23:15,552 Look, the point is we bought a fucking brick, Larry. 485 00:23:15,552 --> 00:23:17,972 I'll tell you what. I'll make it very easy for you. 486 00:23:17,972 --> 00:23:20,391 I'll buy the brick. I'll write something nice. 487 00:23:20,391 --> 00:23:22,351 All you got to do is put your name on it. 488 00:23:22,351 --> 00:23:23,519 I don't feel comfortable. 489 00:23:23,519 --> 00:23:26,980 What if it just said, "I was married to Larry David, and he's a decent guy"? 490 00:23:26,980 --> 00:23:29,858 - Who writes that on a brick? - It's dishonest. 491 00:23:29,858 --> 00:23:31,151 Well, then you write it. 492 00:23:31,151 --> 00:23:32,820 I don't have anything to say on a brick. 493 00:23:33,571 --> 00:23:35,906 You can't think of one nice thing to say about me on a brick? 494 00:23:35,906 --> 00:23:37,115 No, not on a brick. 495 00:23:37,115 --> 00:23:38,658 All right, so just for argument's sake, 496 00:23:38,658 --> 00:23:41,954 is there anything nice you could say about me that's not on a brick? 497 00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:43,455 Yes. 498 00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:49,085 Something on a cake. "Congratulations, good job". 499 00:23:49,085 --> 00:23:52,340 - "Happy birthday." - "He's a good golfer sometimes." 500 00:23:52,340 --> 00:23:55,675 - You want some more tea? - I'd love some more tea. 501 00:23:55,675 --> 00:23:58,429 How much longer do you think you'll be staying, Larry? 502 00:23:59,054 --> 00:24:00,681 I'm leaving right now. 503 00:24:00,681 --> 00:24:03,351 I just need to learn these lines, that's all. 504 00:24:03,351 --> 00:24:07,313 Nice pen. Good pen. Look at that pen. That's some pen. 505 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:10,273 - Thank you. - How do you get a pen like that? 506 00:24:10,273 --> 00:24:12,777 - Do you want the pen, Larry? - I'm not gonna take your pen. 507 00:24:12,777 --> 00:24:14,236 - Take the pen. - Really? 508 00:24:14,236 --> 00:24:16,488 - Yes, take the pen. - You're giving me your pen? 509 00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:18,031 Good luck with the brick. 510 00:24:19,908 --> 00:24:21,369 Okay. How's this? 511 00:24:21,369 --> 00:24:25,830 "He's an amiable fellow and a big supporter of Title Nine." 512 00:24:25,830 --> 00:24:27,041 Bullshit. 513 00:24:27,541 --> 00:24:33,381 "He's an amiable fellow who's attended two WNBA games." 514 00:24:33,381 --> 00:24:34,714 - Is that true? - No. 515 00:24:34,714 --> 00:24:37,342 And besides, you never went to one of Sammy's softball games. 516 00:24:37,342 --> 00:24:39,095 I invited you so many times. 517 00:24:39,095 --> 00:24:41,180 The kid couldn't even lift up a pencil. 518 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:43,265 Stop it. She's very talented! 519 00:24:43,265 --> 00:24:44,725 How 'bout this? 520 00:24:44,725 --> 00:24:47,186 "Any woman who Larry David impregnated" 521 00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:49,438 "he not only paid for the abortion," 522 00:24:49,438 --> 00:24:53,359 "but accompanied her to the procedure". That's true. 523 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,736 - You're wasting my time. Leave. - You're not gonna buy a brick? 524 00:24:55,736 --> 00:24:56,945 Apparently not. 525 00:25:22,137 --> 00:25:23,639 - Hello? - Hey, Larry. 526 00:25:23,639 --> 00:25:26,434 - It's Cyrus, Irma's sponsor. - Yeah, I know who you are. 527 00:25:26,434 --> 00:25:28,768 I just wanted to call you because my daughter met 528 00:25:28,768 --> 00:25:31,230 with that woman you recommended, Jenna. 529 00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:32,481 Yeah, look... 530 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:36,444 - She was great. - What? 531 00:25:36,444 --> 00:25:39,904 My daughter said she gave great notes. She made the script better. 532 00:25:39,904 --> 00:25:41,239 - She was amazing. - Seriously? 533 00:25:41,239 --> 00:25:43,616 Yeah! I thought she wouldn't even give her the time of day. 534 00:25:43,616 --> 00:25:46,494 Yeah, for a high-powered executive, she's very down to Earth, isn't she? 535 00:25:46,494 --> 00:25:49,247 Yeah. Right? They even met at a coffee shop. 536 00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:51,166 You'd think she's just a regular person. 537 00:25:51,166 --> 00:25:54,670 Anyway, Dana wanted to send her some flowers to her office at Disney. 538 00:25:54,670 --> 00:25:56,629 So if you could shoot me her address. 539 00:25:56,629 --> 00:25:59,050 I don't think you need to do that. 540 00:25:59,050 --> 00:26:00,926 Well, I live by the Americana in Glendale. 541 00:26:00,926 --> 00:26:03,554 I could just go over and get a gift card and send it over. 542 00:26:03,554 --> 00:26:05,014 - How about that? - No, not necessary. 543 00:26:05,014 --> 00:26:08,058 I'll just pass on your enthusiasm. 544 00:26:08,058 --> 00:26:11,604 Larry! Larry, where are my sleep brassieres? 545 00:26:12,063 --> 00:26:13,855 How the fuck do I know? 546 00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:16,609 I owe you one. I really do. 547 00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:18,485 If there's anything I can do for you... 548 00:26:18,485 --> 00:26:20,780 - Larry! - What? 549 00:26:22,155 --> 00:26:24,825 Never mind. They were in the hamper. They're not that dirty. 550 00:26:24,825 --> 00:26:27,369 If you need anything from me, you just say the word, okay? 551 00:26:27,995 --> 00:26:31,331 You know, now that you mention it, there actually is something you can do. 552 00:26:31,331 --> 00:26:32,458 Yeah, say the word. 553 00:26:33,709 --> 00:26:39,173 According to your timeline, I have eight weeks left with Irma. 554 00:26:39,173 --> 00:26:45,262 I'm wondering if there's any possible way that we can move that up. 555 00:26:45,721 --> 00:26:49,516 Wait. You're saying you want to break up with her early? 556 00:26:49,516 --> 00:26:51,435 Yes, that's exactly what I mean. 557 00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:52,644 Is there any reason? 558 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:55,398 Yeah, I hate her. That's the reason. How's that? 559 00:26:55,398 --> 00:26:57,023 Look, I don't know what to tell you. 560 00:26:57,023 --> 00:27:00,903 I'm: struggling here, Cyrus, and Sienna Miller is interested in me. 561 00:27:02,405 --> 00:27:03,990 - I'm not joking. - Really? 562 00:27:04,406 --> 00:27:06,117 When is this gonna happen again? Never. 563 00:27:06,117 --> 00:27:10,705 So come on. Help a brother out. Is there anything we can do? 564 00:27:10,705 --> 00:27:12,455 Larry, I appreciate everything you've done for us, 565 00:27:12,455 --> 00:27:15,542 but a breakup would just set her back, and I can't allow that to happen. 566 00:27:15,542 --> 00:27:18,004 Is that better than murder? Who benefits from murder? 567 00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,422 She's dead, and I'm in prison. 568 00:27:19,422 --> 00:27:21,798 Larry, I think you're saying a lot of things you don't mean right now. 569 00:27:21,798 --> 00:27:24,051 No, no, I mean it. Come on. There's got to be a way. 570 00:27:24,051 --> 00:27:28,054 If she were to break up with you, I guess that would be okay. 571 00:27:28,054 --> 00:27:29,265 Her idea? 572 00:27:29,265 --> 00:27:32,601 Then that would give her the power, give her her own agency. 573 00:27:32,601 --> 00:27:35,437 like it's gonna be her idea. On what planet? That's never gonna happen. 574 00:27:35,437 --> 00:27:37,648 I'm sorry. But thank you. 575 00:27:38,399 --> 00:27:41,109 Larry, where are my bunion splints? 576 00:27:41,109 --> 00:27:43,987 Today was amazing, though. 'Cause you know Penny? 577 00:27:43,987 --> 00:27:45,864 She's normally a chipmunk, Chip or Dale, 578 00:27:45,864 --> 00:27:48,326 and she's in, like, what we call fur all the time. 579 00:27:48,326 --> 00:27:51,327 She got to be Tinkerbell this week, and it was unbelievable, 580 00:27:51,327 --> 00:27:54,164 and we were so happy for her. And she was so good with the kids. 581 00:27:54,164 --> 00:27:56,417 And she was just having the best time ever, 582 00:27:56,417 --> 00:27:58,419 because she's never a face character. 583 00:27:58,419 --> 00:28:02,797 She's a little tall to be a pixie, but she was incredible. 584 00:28:02,797 --> 00:28:05,383 And we had a Peter Pan. Ian was being Peter Pan that day. 585 00:28:08,011 --> 00:28:09,554 - Welcome back, sir. - Thank you. 586 00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:12,016 I'd like a table for two by the aquarium. 587 00:28:12,016 --> 00:28:13,559 That table is reserved. 588 00:28:13,559 --> 00:28:15,978 But we have nice table over here by window. 589 00:28:15,978 --> 00:28:17,687 - It's reserved? - Yes. 590 00:28:18,064 --> 00:28:19,397 Okay, we'll go over there. 591 00:28:19,397 --> 00:28:22,651 - You follow me, sir. This way. - All right. Okay. 592 00:28:31,535 --> 00:28:34,829 Sir, can I help you? Excuse me, sir. 593 00:28:35,206 --> 00:28:36,873 Your table that way. 594 00:28:36,873 --> 00:28:40,169 Yeah, what happened to the orange fish that was stuck? 595 00:28:40,169 --> 00:28:42,755 Fish sad, so we changed new location. 596 00:28:42,755 --> 00:28:44,756 Change of scenery make much happy fish. 597 00:28:44,756 --> 00:28:46,549 - So, you moved the fish? - Yes. 598 00:28:46,549 --> 00:28:49,219 Fish living best life in downtown. Very happy there. 599 00:28:49,219 --> 00:28:50,596 That was so nice of you. 600 00:28:50,596 --> 00:28:52,847 You can go visit your new friend, orange fish. 601 00:28:52,847 --> 00:28:55,141 I can handle the death of the fish. Just tell me. 602 00:28:55,141 --> 00:28:57,603 Fish fine. Fish thriving. 603 00:28:57,603 --> 00:29:00,022 No, no, fish stuck. Fish dead. 604 00:29:00,022 --> 00:29:02,566 No. Fish sick. Fish gone. 605 00:29:02,566 --> 00:29:06,779 - Stuck. Dead. - Sick, gone! 606 00:29:07,863 --> 00:29:12,409 - Fish not your problem anymore. - I will not forget fish. 607 00:29:15,286 --> 00:29:17,164 Okay, I bring your table some water. 608 00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:20,042 - How's your fish? - Fish dead. 609 00:29:21,043 --> 00:29:24,547 Listen to me. You should've heard Irma today at the AA meeting. 610 00:29:24,547 --> 00:29:27,133 You would've been blown away. She shared for a half hour. 611 00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:30,593 - Well, what did she say? - First of all, I would never tell you. 612 00:29:30,593 --> 00:29:32,805 In AA, there's principles, there's guidelines. 613 00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:36,641 So any wino in Santa Monica can hear what she's saying, but I can't? 614 00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:39,854 - AA is private, man. That's it. - I'm not gonna tell anybody. 615 00:29:39,854 --> 00:29:42,273 - I just won't do it. - But we're good friends. 616 00:29:42,273 --> 00:29:44,066 - I'm not telling you. - So you're not gonna tell me? 617 00:29:44,066 --> 00:29:47,445 - No. - Suppose I put you in my will? 618 00:29:47,445 --> 00:29:50,072 Her first husband, horrible accident, 619 00:29:50,072 --> 00:29:52,741 and she was with him 24/7, like a caregiver. 620 00:29:52,741 --> 00:29:54,952 - Was he in a wheelchair? - Worse. 621 00:29:54,952 --> 00:29:57,079 - Diapers? - He had diapers everywhere. 622 00:29:57,746 --> 00:30:00,750 He was like the fucking mummy. He lost some of his toes. 623 00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:03,377 His spine was sticking out. 624 00:30:03,377 --> 00:30:05,253 He couldn't move. He couldn't walk. 625 00:30:05,253 --> 00:30:07,256 And she started to drink more and more, 626 00:30:07,256 --> 00:30:09,215 and then she became an alcoholic over this. 627 00:30:09,215 --> 00:30:10,676 And then one day she woke up, she went, 628 00:30:10,676 --> 00:30:12,802 "You know, this is not the way I envisioned my life." 629 00:30:12,802 --> 00:30:14,387 So, she just left the guy high and dry. 630 00:30:14,387 --> 00:30:17,475 - She didn't want to take care of him? - She wanted to think about her life. 631 00:30:17,475 --> 00:30:19,893 Selfish. That's her husband. 632 00:30:19,893 --> 00:30:22,270 - She never wanted to see him again. - It was the diapers. 633 00:30:22,270 --> 00:30:25,857 She said she wasn't proud of it, but if the situation happened again, 634 00:30:26,525 --> 00:30:28,693 she would do the same thing. She would still split. 635 00:30:29,111 --> 00:30:32,655 She knows what she wants in life. Let me ask you something. 636 00:30:33,740 --> 00:30:35,825 How much were you thinking about leaving me? 637 00:30:36,410 --> 00:30:39,246 - No, nothing. Yeah. - What? 638 00:30:39,246 --> 00:30:42,040 It was a trick to get you to talk about it. Which you did. 639 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,709 In three minutes, I lost all that money? 640 00:30:43,709 --> 00:30:47,504 That's all it took to get it out of you, your solemn AA oath? 641 00:30:47,504 --> 00:30:49,589 - They should kick you out of there. - I have weaknesses. 642 00:30:49,589 --> 00:30:51,884 - I got a good mind to squeal on you. - Let's eat. 643 00:31:04,979 --> 00:31:06,190 Hey, Larry. 644 00:31:06,606 --> 00:31:10,027 Oh my God. What's going on here? 645 00:31:10,027 --> 00:31:14,281 I was working late last night. I got kicked out of my house. 646 00:31:15,198 --> 00:31:18,034 - You got kicked out of your house? - Yeah, yeah. Come on in. 647 00:31:18,661 --> 00:31:21,413 - Did we have a meeting or something? - Why'd you get kicked out? 648 00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:25,875 Quite frankly, you stuck this thing in my head about naming babies, 649 00:31:25,875 --> 00:31:28,128 and we got in a big fight, and things were thrown, 650 00:31:28,128 --> 00:31:29,963 and you got in the middle of everything, 651 00:31:29,963 --> 00:31:32,550 and now we don't know what we're gonna name the baby. 652 00:31:32,550 --> 00:31:34,926 - So it's my fault. - You planted this thing in our head. 653 00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:36,261 And then you brought up semen. 654 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:39,557 That's none of your business about what I do with my own semen. 655 00:31:39,557 --> 00:31:41,474 Are you telling me that if it's your semen, 656 00:31:41,474 --> 00:31:43,560 you shouldn't have the right to name the baby? 657 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,063 But it's my business. I don't tell you what to do with your semen. 658 00:31:46,063 --> 00:31:47,565 What am I gonna do with semen? 659 00:31:47,565 --> 00:31:49,524 A normal man knows what to do with semen. 660 00:31:49,524 --> 00:31:53,236 I do normal things with semen. I wipe it up and throw it away. What else? 661 00:31:53,236 --> 00:31:56,030 Well, you could impregnate somebody else and have a baby. 662 00:31:56,030 --> 00:31:59,409 Okay. If I did do that and my partner's name was Papalopadopalous, 663 00:31:59,409 --> 00:32:01,077 I would use David as the last name. 664 00:32:01,077 --> 00:32:02,912 That would be your prerogative. 665 00:32:02,912 --> 00:32:06,834 And I wouldn't come to you and say you should name it this or that. 666 00:32:06,834 --> 00:32:09,754 Yes, but you knew deep down that I was right. 667 00:32:09,754 --> 00:32:12,173 And that's why you brought it up. That's why you had a fight. 668 00:32:12,173 --> 00:32:14,258 That's why you got kicked out. Isn't that so? 669 00:32:14,841 --> 00:32:18,762 Larry, you're out of order. Let me name my own baby with my husband. 670 00:32:18,762 --> 00:32:20,013 End of story. 671 00:32:20,013 --> 00:32:22,348 I'm kind of surprised you're sloughing off the blame on me. 672 00:32:22,348 --> 00:32:24,768 And I'm equally surprised you won't accept the blame. 673 00:32:24,768 --> 00:32:28,688 I think I'm way more surprised than you about the sloughing of the blame. 674 00:32:28,688 --> 00:32:32,485 And I'm really wildly surprised that you aren't accepting. 675 00:32:32,485 --> 00:32:37,030 I am so incredulous that you think I am more to blame than you. 676 00:32:37,030 --> 00:32:39,657 - What are you doing here, Larr? - Can I sue a temple? 677 00:32:40,242 --> 00:32:41,285 For what? 678 00:32:41,285 --> 00:32:43,578 There's a defamatory brick at that temple. 679 00:32:43,578 --> 00:32:45,164 - Yeah, I saw that. - You saw that? 680 00:32:45,539 --> 00:32:47,083 What was your reaction when you saw that? 681 00:32:47,083 --> 00:32:49,000 They can do anything they want. It's freedom of religion. 682 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,335 Freedom of religion? 683 00:32:50,335 --> 00:32:51,962 You just go around calling people assholes, 684 00:32:51,962 --> 00:32:54,131 and you put it on a temple, that's not slander? 685 00:32:54,131 --> 00:32:56,175 Anything else I can help you with? 686 00:32:57,592 --> 00:32:59,719 How'd the filing go? Are we good? 687 00:33:03,140 --> 00:33:05,892 Oh God! Oh my God! 688 00:33:05,892 --> 00:33:10,022 - Wait a minute. Wait, wait! - Don't even say it. 689 00:33:10,022 --> 00:33:12,482 - I forgot to file it. - You forgot to file it? 690 00:33:12,482 --> 00:33:14,317 How could you forget to file it? 691 00:33:14,317 --> 00:33:16,696 I forgot to file it because of the shit you put me through, Larry! 692 00:33:16,696 --> 00:33:19,197 - It's my fault you forgot to file? - Yes! 693 00:33:19,197 --> 00:33:21,366 And if you accepted it, then this wouldn't have happened. 694 00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:23,035 Why did you get involved in my stuff? 695 00:33:23,035 --> 00:33:25,162 - Well, can you file it now? - No, I can't file it now. 696 00:33:25,162 --> 00:33:27,164 - It's past the deadline. - It's past the deadline? 697 00:33:27,164 --> 00:33:29,792 It's past the deadline. I missed it. 698 00:33:31,251 --> 00:33:32,794 Look, it's going to trial. 699 00:33:32,794 --> 00:33:35,880 - I can go to jail for a year! - We're gonna win the trial. 700 00:33:36,340 --> 00:33:39,135 I'm confident we're going to win. Don't worry about a thing, okay? 701 00:33:39,135 --> 00:33:40,803 I'm gonna make this priority. 702 00:33:41,428 --> 00:33:44,098 I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it anyway. 703 00:33:44,098 --> 00:33:45,224 What is it? 704 00:33:45,224 --> 00:33:47,142 I think a great compromise 705 00:33:48,685 --> 00:33:50,520 is Ziggy Zeckelman. 706 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:55,860 Can you leave please? Do you want to win this trial? 707 00:33:55,860 --> 00:33:57,819 - Yes. - Stop naming my baby. 708 00:33:59,739 --> 00:34:00,905 Okay. 709 00:34:01,657 --> 00:34:03,241 And you didn't like Foots? 710 00:34:14,670 --> 00:34:16,379 Tell me you got something good. 711 00:34:16,838 --> 00:34:18,673 - I got the goods. - Yeah? 712 00:34:19,258 --> 00:34:22,219 Got something that's gonna get us out of this mess. 713 00:34:22,219 --> 00:34:24,013 All right, I'm all ears. 714 00:34:24,013 --> 00:34:28,099 By the way, the fish is dead. FYI. 715 00:34:28,099 --> 00:34:29,727 - Yeah? - Yeah. 716 00:34:30,393 --> 00:34:31,854 You know, in a weird way, 717 00:34:34,148 --> 00:34:36,941 I kind of feel like me and you are that little fish. 718 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,362 We just want to swim and enjoy our day, but we're stuck in that filter. 719 00:34:41,989 --> 00:34:44,240 That's true. We're like the fish. 720 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:45,575 We're stuck fish. 721 00:34:45,575 --> 00:34:48,870 Squirming, screaming for help, but trapped. 722 00:34:49,246 --> 00:34:51,247 Not sick. Stuck. 723 00:34:51,247 --> 00:34:52,416 Just stuck. 724 00:34:52,416 --> 00:34:55,294 But if you stay stuck too long, you're gonna get sick, 725 00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:57,462 and then you're gonna die. 726 00:34:57,462 --> 00:35:02,885 Maybe in some small way the fish lives on through us being free. 727 00:35:03,678 --> 00:35:05,804 Guess what? We're getting out of that filter. 728 00:35:05,804 --> 00:35:08,431 - Are you ready? - Can you make us unstuck? 729 00:35:08,431 --> 00:35:10,726 Oh yeah. So here's the deal. 730 00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:18,442 I've got something to tell you. 731 00:35:21,821 --> 00:35:24,281 I got something that I got to tell you. 732 00:35:24,949 --> 00:35:26,367 What, Freddy? 733 00:35:26,367 --> 00:35:27,784 It's medical. 734 00:35:31,205 --> 00:35:33,332 It's a medical thing, and it's getting worse. 735 00:35:34,708 --> 00:35:35,960 Don't do that. 736 00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:38,004 Freddy, your hand. 737 00:35:38,004 --> 00:35:40,755 It's called Groat's disease. 738 00:35:40,755 --> 00:35:42,216 I have Groat's disease. 739 00:35:42,717 --> 00:35:44,719 It affects the nervous system 740 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:49,222 and eventually I become incontinent, and you can't even sit. 741 00:35:49,222 --> 00:35:51,559 The shaking is the tip of the iceberg. 742 00:35:51,559 --> 00:35:56,020 I have to sleep on my knees, and I need 24-hour care. 743 00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:58,481 And you'll have to hold my penis when I pee. 744 00:36:04,362 --> 00:36:06,657 I just can't. 745 00:36:06,657 --> 00:36:08,908 The stents and the shunts and the ports, 746 00:36:08,908 --> 00:36:10,911 and I hear the word hospice... 747 00:36:10,911 --> 00:36:14,289 - I can't. - I'm distraught, but I understand. 748 00:36:14,289 --> 00:36:17,792 - I'm so glad you do. - Go live your beautiful life. 749 00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:21,255 Thank you. I can't. I just couldn't do it again, you know? 750 00:36:21,255 --> 00:36:25,717 Okay, okay. So take off. Yeah, you should go. 751 00:36:25,717 --> 00:36:28,219 Oh, you know what? I really like that scarf. 752 00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:30,972 - What, this? - I's got a button, and it heats up? 753 00:36:30,972 --> 00:36:32,850 - It keeps your neck warm. - You like it? 754 00:36:32,850 --> 00:36:35,101 - Yeah, it's nice. - Please, take it. 755 00:36:35,101 --> 00:36:38,229 - Please, no. - You got to charge it. 756 00:36:38,229 --> 00:36:41,150 - What? Really? Oh my gosh. - It's the least I can do. 757 00:36:41,150 --> 00:36:44,944 You press the little button there. Yeah, that's gonna comfort you. 758 00:36:44,944 --> 00:36:49,032 Keep your thyroid warm. I feel so bad, but... 759 00:36:50,283 --> 00:36:53,286 - Yeah, so go. - Anal leak... I can't do it. 760 00:36:53,286 --> 00:36:59,542 I'm sorry. It's latex gloves. It's secretions. It's anal leakage. 761 00:36:59,542 --> 00:37:03,671 - Yeah, just go. - You're better off without me. Sorry. 762 00:37:03,671 --> 00:37:08,426 Yeah, get the hell out of here. Go! Please, go! 763 00:37:08,426 --> 00:37:12,848 Go. Going. Going! 764 00:37:13,974 --> 00:37:16,351 Gone! 765 00:37:20,064 --> 00:37:22,482 Yeah! 766 00:37:26,111 --> 00:37:29,906 I have a structured settlement, and I need cash now, 767 00:37:29,906 --> 00:37:33,993 Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW! 768 00:37:43,087 --> 00:37:46,923 Hello there. Welcome to the most magical store at the mall. 769 00:37:47,383 --> 00:37:52,637 Goodbye. They can't order you to stop dreaming. Thank you. 770 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:55,016 - Hello, princess! - Hi, sweetheart. 771 00:37:55,016 --> 00:37:58,017 Do you have the Mickey Mouse oven gloves? 772 00:37:58,017 --> 00:38:01,563 You put your hands in the mitts, and then he's got his little hands on... 773 00:38:01,563 --> 00:38:03,106 I'm not sure. Do you want me to check? 774 00:38:03,106 --> 00:38:06,192 That'd be good. I just left mine at my boyfriend's house. 775 00:38:06,192 --> 00:38:08,654 We just broke up, and I don't want to go back there. 776 00:38:08,654 --> 00:38:10,405 I'm so sorry to hear that. 777 00:38:10,405 --> 00:38:14,534 Well, it seems we're both the same. My happily ever after has ended, too. 778 00:38:14,534 --> 00:38:16,912 - Sucks, right? - It's awful. 779 00:38:16,912 --> 00:38:18,581 Well, mine was sick. 780 00:38:18,581 --> 00:38:21,792 Well, my Prince Charming was sick. What a small world. 781 00:38:21,792 --> 00:38:23,084 Yeah. It's a small world. 782 00:38:23,084 --> 00:38:26,546 I don't want to go through the thing with the degenerative disease he had. 783 00:38:26,546 --> 00:38:30,134 I didn't want to stay by. I'm too young to deal with all that. 784 00:38:30,134 --> 00:38:32,385 It's a terrible thing, this Groat's disease. 785 00:38:32,802 --> 00:38:35,013 Wait, what? Did you say Groat's disease? 786 00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:38,725 That's what my boyfriend, Freddy, that's what he has. Groat's disease. 787 00:38:38,725 --> 00:38:40,978 - What? Freddy? - Yeah. 788 00:38:41,311 --> 00:38:43,730 - Freddy who? - Freddy Funkhauser. 789 00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:45,857 Larry David. 790 00:38:46,192 --> 00:38:48,610 Are you fucking kidding me? 791 00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:51,989 - Can we get some lunch, please? - I want a sandwich or something. 792 00:38:51,989 --> 00:38:55,701 - They lied to us. - Oh my God. 793 00:38:55,701 --> 00:38:59,288 - Jenna? - Hey. Dana. Hello! 794 00:39:00,790 --> 00:39:03,041 You work at the Disney store? 795 00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:04,377 Yeah, I work here. 796 00:39:04,835 --> 00:39:07,505 Then why did you give me notes on my script? 797 00:39:07,505 --> 00:39:08,838 'Cause Larry David asked me to. 798 00:39:08,838 --> 00:39:12,218 I used them. I got kicked out of my writers' group. 799 00:39:12,802 --> 00:39:15,178 - Bastards. - Larry David. 800 00:39:15,637 --> 00:39:17,431 Larry fucking David. 801 00:39:17,431 --> 00:39:19,558 Those fucking pricks.