1
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:09,134
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

2
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,888
(SIGHS)
That's a long flight, man.

3
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:15,432
Long flight. Yeah.

4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,349
- Whew!
- Brutal.

5
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,435
PASSERBY: Hey, Larry, I see you.

6
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,811
Keep fighting for us.

7
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,688
(CHUCKLES) Okay.

8
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,356
- Huh? How 'bout that?
- Hero.

9
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,233
My people showing you
fucking love, Larry.

10
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,777
- (CHUCKLES)
- SIENNA MILLER: Larry David?

11
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,447
Oh my God, it's Larry David!

12
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,991
- Sorry, I'm Sienna Miller.
- Yeah, I know.

13
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,117
I can't believe I'm seeing you.

14
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,452
I've just been
watching you on the news.

15
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,746
- How crazy is this, right?
- SIENNA: It's crazy.

16
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,913
So insane.

17
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:41,166
Well, thank you, on behalf
of everybody who has a heart.

18
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,709
PASSERBY 2: Hey, Larry!
Good job!

19
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,002
- Hey!
- (SIENNA CHUCKLES)

20
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,838
Anyway, I cannot believe
that I've bumped into you.

21
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,048
It's <i>bashert.</i>

22
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,674
<i>- Bashert.</i>
- (CHUCKLES SLIGHTLY)

23
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,760
- Where'd you get that from?
- Pretty good, huh?

24
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,887
- Yeah, pretty good.
- (CLICKS TONGUE)

25
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,472
- Bye, Larry.
- Bye.

26
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,681
Keep in touch.

27
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:58,350
Oh!

28
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,686
♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

29
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,397
LARRY DAVID: <i>Keep in touch?</i>

30
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,358
You saw that? Sienna Miller,
she was flirting with me,

31
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,318
- was she not? Huh?
- Saw that shit. Yup.

32
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,028
This is a once
in a lifetime opportunity,

33
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,405
but because of Irma,
there's nothing I can do.

34
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,532
- Yeah.
- It's such a waste, really.

35
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,534
- LEON BLACK: Yup.
- Sienna Miller, my God.

36
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,913
- How's that bagel?
- Fucking great, man.

37
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,873
You know what?
I'm not gonna eat this.

38
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,458
Hmm.

39
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,335
Think I'll give it to that guy.
What do you think?

40
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,837
If it's in your heart,
you do it.

41
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,381
Hey, you want a bagel?

42
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:31,883
Yeah.

43
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,555
No! No, no, no, no, no!
Stop, stop, stop, stop!

44
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,557
Thanks, man.

45
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,269
♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

46
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,569
- Fluke!
- Oh my God.

47
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,238
- IRMA KOSTROSKI: It's fluke!
- What are you doing?

48
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,989
- What's the matter with you?
- I got "fluke" in three.

49
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,282
LARRY: What are you
shouting it out for?

50
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,118
- I'm a genius. It's a talent.
- Fluke? Who does that?

51
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,577
It's so rude.
It's so disrespectful.

52
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,162
It's like sneezing
in someone's face.

53
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,414
You just ruined our day.

54
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,582
- I'm going to an AA meeting.
- This is crazy.

55
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:05,875
No, you would
never have gotten it.

56
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,044
- I would've got it.
- I had to help you with "vulva,"

57
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,254
- remember?
- I know vulva.

58
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,755
- IRMA: Uh-huh.
- That's a great car.

59
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:11,923
No, it's not a car.

60
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,174
It's one of the
safest cars out there.

61
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,342
You never would've gotten fluke.

62
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,885
Hey, don't do that again.

63
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,262
You never would've gotten it.

64
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,097
- I would've got it.
- IRMA: Oh, get over it!

65
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,016
Such a shitty thing to do.

66
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,018
- She's something else, man.
- LARRY: Yeah.

67
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,185
(CHAIR SQUEAKS)

68
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,937
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

69
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,147
(LARRY SCREAMS)

70
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,357
What the hell? Come on!

71
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,650
I just saw your balls!

72
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,778
They're hanging out
with those shorts! What is that?

73
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,488
Just swivel back. Swivel back.

74
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,615
Oh my God.
What's with those shorts?

75
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,492
What is it about my balls
that bother you like this?

76
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,578
Everything.
Balls are disgusting.
They're hideous.

77
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,246
It's like the elephant man
under your penis.

78
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,290
I think the brain
and the balls are related.

79
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,209
If you take a magnifying glass
and you put it on your balls,

80
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,545
it's the same pattern
as the brain.

81
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,839
That's why people say
you're thinking with your dick.

82
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,257
You know,

83
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,801
every now and then
you say something so stupid,

84
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,220
- but it actually makes sense.
- Of course it makes sense.

85
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,680
All right,
I'm getting out of here.

86
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,473
LEON: Where you going at?

87
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,974
You know Duane Tubman next door?

88
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,142
Yeah, yeah, Tubman.

89
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,602
His father just died.

90
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020
Oh. (EXHALES SHARPLY)

91
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,772
Hey, you give him
my deepest condolences.

92
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,107
LARRY: I don't know, I feel like
I should go over

93
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,484
and pay my respects
or something.

94
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,943
You know, it always helps to be

95
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:14,986
on good terms
with your neighbor.

96
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,404
- (CHAIR SQUEAKS)
- LEON: That's right.

97
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,615
All right, okay. You know what?
I just got another glimpse.

98
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,825
Honestly,
that one was on purpose!

99
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,786
♪ (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

100
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,339
Uh, very... yeah.

101
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,341
Uh, so... yeah. Sorry.

102
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,010
Ah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah.

103
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,471
Sorry. Sorry. So sorry.

104
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,098
- Hey.
- Oh.

105
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,391
Larry, thank you so much
for coming.

106
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,685
Of course. Hey, this is
what neighbors do, right?

107
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,228
We have each other's backs.
Come on.

108
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,521
Yeah. By the way,
I was really touched

109
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,940
- by what you did in Atlanta.
- You know what?

110
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,818
Coming from a Tubman, I take
that as a great compliment.

111
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:56,695
Okay.

112
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:59,406
Anyway, very sorry to hear
about your father.

113
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,950
Thank you. Well,
father-in-law, but thank you.

114
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,452
Ah. Really?

115
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,371
- DUANE TUBMAN: Yeah.
- I thought it was your father.

116
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,706
No, it's Lorraine's.

117
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,874
- Father-in-law?
- Yeah.

118
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,084
- LARRY: All right.
- DUANE: Yes.

119
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,794
Well, that's, you know...
That's a...

120
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,754
That's a little better.

121
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,382
Well, it's my father-in-law.
It's a loss.

122
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,718
Duane, of course
it's a loss, but...

123
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,095
- You know, it's not your dad.
- Larry, it's a human being.

124
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,513
Yeah, yeah, of course.
I know that.

125
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,223
I'm just trying to delineate
the differences

126
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,850
between a father
and a father-in-law.

127
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,728
- It's a very sad thing.
- Terrible loss for your wife,

128
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,396
but...

129
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,482
- Your dad's still alive?
- Yeah.

130
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,776
- Oh, well, there you go.
- Yeah, that's a gift.

131
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,903
Yeah. And you know,
it's like if you have a dog

132
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,448
- and your dog dies, and then...
- I'm sorry, did you say a dog?

133
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,324
Yeah, a dog.
Okay, say your dog dies,

134
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,493
that's one thing.
That's-- that's terrible.

135
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,455
But if your friend's dog dies,
it's not quite the same.

136
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,206
- Okay.
- But anyway,

137
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,335
is your wife around? Lorraine?
Is she here? Can I talk to her?

138
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,878
- Maybe we just let her rest.
- Okay.

139
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,422
Will you tell her
how sorry I am about her dad?

140
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,632
Are you? Because
it doesn't really sound like it.

141
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,760
Between you and me,
my condolences

142
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,804
aren't quite as deep
as the average person's.

143
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,431
I'm picking that up.

144
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,100
Yeah, it's like people telling
each other they love them.
That kind of thing.

145
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,602
"Sorry" is in that kind
of category.

146
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,312
-"I'm sorry." "I love you."
They're the same.
- DUANE: Okay.

147
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,938
They're interchangeable, really.
Nobody means it.

148
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,274
-"I love you." Oh. (BABBLES)
- Nobody means it?

149
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,484
- No.
- Of course people mean it.

150
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,777
Nah, nobody means it.

151
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,613
But, um, anyway, are you sure
Lorraine's not around?

152
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:22,614
I'm positive.

153
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,782
Got enough food and everything?

154
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,450
Can I get you some bagels
and, uh, and lox?

155
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,785
No, I think we're good.

156
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,453
- Do you like a bagel?
- There are a lot of people here.

157
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,330
- Ah.
- So I'm gonna...

158
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,082
- I'm picking up on that cue.
- Yeah.

159
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,833
Of course. Of course.

160
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,920
Actually, Larry,
um, there's one thing.

161
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,546
I wanted to talk to you
about the lemon tree.

162
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,714
- The lemon tree?
- DUANE: Yeah.

163
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,299
Along the fence.
It's back there.

164
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,385
- It's given us so many lemons
over the years.
- Oh, the one that hangs

165
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,470
- over my yard and... yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

166
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,389
The roots,
they're damaging my pipes,

167
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,474
so we gotta do something
about this tree.

168
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,434
Don't worry about the research.
I'll look into it.

169
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,977
I'll get an estimate,
we'll sit down,

170
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:53,853
and we'll split the cost

171
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,230
- of the tree maintenance...
- (SCOFFS)

172
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,523
...and we can keep enjoying
these lemons.

173
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,192
Split the cost of the tree?

174
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,278
Duane. I mean,
you know, come on.

175
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,738
It's your tree.
It's on your side.

176
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:04,656
It's our tree.

177
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,491
- It's not our tree.
- Let me get this right.

178
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,827
So it's... it's our tree
when you want lemons,

179
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,579
and it's my tree
when we have to take care of it
and maintain it.

180
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,206
I want some lemons?
I don't want lemons.

181
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,666
You think
I need lemons in my life?

182
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,793
I can go the rest of my life
without touching a lemon.

183
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,711
No lemons for life.

184
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,962
I put it on a piece
of fish occasionally.

185
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,380
What're you gonna substitute
for lemons?

186
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,007
- A grapefruit.
- A grapefruit?

187
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,758
- Yeah.
- You're gonna put
grapefruit on fish?

188
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,301
Yeah, I've put
grapefruits on fish.

189
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,511
When?

190
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,054
Okay, I haven't
actually put it on,

191
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,180
but I've thought about it.

192
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,515
- Really?
- Yeah.

193
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:33,643
My point is lemons
are a fungible citrus.

194
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:36,104
Just look around the room. Okay?
We've suffered a loss.

195
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,397
Eh, you lost
your father-in-law.

196
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,315
DUANE:
I'd appreciate you stepping up

197
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,859
and being a neighbor
and paying for half

198
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,235
- of this tree maintenance.
- Sure, yeah.

199
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,862
- Thank you for coming out.
- Hm.

200
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:45,613
Alright.

201
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:48,033
- ♪ (BROODING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (SCOFFS)

202
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,454
Had I known
that it was his father-in-law,

203
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,330
I never would've gone
to the house in the first place.

204
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,832
- No.
- LARRY: And this lemon thing.

205
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,959
By the way, you know, he's
a descendant of Harriet Tubman.

206
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,878
Well, you'd think his ancestors
would be ashamed of him

207
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,546
that he would come after you
for something like that.

208
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,506
You know, the lemons drop,
what am I supposed to do?

209
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,883
- Right!
- Throw 'em back over the fence?

210
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,593
This person's a Tubman
in name only.

211
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,219
You know what?
Maybe he's not even a Tubman.

212
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,888
'Cause I can't imagine a Tubman

213
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:10,722
behaving like this.

214
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,016
You know the cruel irony
of this, right?

215
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:13,892
You're being railroaded.

216
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,226
- Oh my God.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

217
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,561
- It's nuts!
- Hello!

218
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,646
- (CHUCKLES) Hey!
- Hi. Sorry we're late.

219
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,106
- Hey!
- Hey. (CHUCKLES) Hi.

220
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,399
Susie, we have
something for you.

221
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:22,692
What? What? What is it?

222
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,902
CHERYL DAVID: Since
you were away on your birthday.

223
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,612
SUSIE: Now? You want me
to open it now?

224
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,030
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

225
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,198
Hey, hey, wait a second.

226
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,200
We-- No, no, there's other--
there's other presents here.

227
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,410
- I know, but this
is really important.
- No, you'll understand.

228
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,536
This'll make sense
in one minute.

229
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,579
That's not fair.

230
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,081
- I'm scared, what is it?
- Happy birthday.

231
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,248
(SUSIE GREENE GASPS)

232
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,375
- Oh my God!
- (TED DANSON LAUGHS)

233
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,168
- FREDDY FUNKHOUSER: Oh, wow.
- TED: Yes.

234
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,629
CHERYL: Isn't he the cutest
thing you've ever seen, Susie?

235
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,255
Oh, he's beautiful.

236
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,674
CHERYL: Susie, he loves you!

237
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,051
- Yes! Oh my God!
- Beautiful. Beautiful.

238
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,594
This is the best
birthday present

239
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,179
I've ever got. I love you two.

240
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,473
- Oh, we love you, too.
- You're the greatest friends.

241
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,517
(SUSIE BABBLES)

242
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,602
(LAUGHS) You know, uh,
we have a present, too.

243
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,812
IRMA: We have something, too.

244
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,731
- Thank you so much. What is it?
- Well, look.

245
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,983
- What is that?
- A Theragun.

246
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,569
- What's that?
- Larry got it for you.

247
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,946
- Oh, yeah.
- Thank you, Larr. (BABBLES)

248
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,407
- Theraguns, they're great.
- You ever use one of these?

249
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,492
(MUMBLES) No, I haven't.

250
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,160
- (BABBLES)
- They're good for your health.

251
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,495
Good, I look forward to it.

252
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,913
That's a hell of a gift,
by the way.

253
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,790
I'm gonna go get him some water.
He's probably thirsty.

254
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,458
- CHERYL: Yeah.
- He's been in that box.

255
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,211
- I'd like a Theragun.
- (SUSIE BABBLES)

256
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:26,881
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

257
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,299
SUSIE: <i>So food good?
Everybody happy?</i>

258
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,718
Oh, the food is amazing,
as always.

259
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,511
Freddy, you're not...
you're not vegan now, right?

260
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,054
FREDDY: No, no,
I like the chicken.

261
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,889
- 'Cause you're
looking fantastic.
- That's so nice of you to say.

262
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,308
Really, it's just been a little
bit of SoulCycle, some walking,

263
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,811
and I've been having a lot
of sex with my neighbor's wife.

264
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,396
- Whoa!
- (CHUCKLES) What?

265
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,439
Come on.

266
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,025
Yes. My neighbors,
the Harringtons, Lydia and Ron.

267
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,651
She wants to have a baby.

268
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,696
Turns out Ron is not capable.
She can't get pregnant.

269
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,656
- Blanks. Shooting blanks.
- FREDDY: Right.

270
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,408
So they say,
"Freddy, we would love it

271
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,285
if you could get
Lydia pregnant."

272
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,328
(ALL CLAMORING)

273
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,580
- Wow!
- Hold on. Hold on.

274
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,373
- That's crazy.
- CHERYL: Come on.

275
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,958
They think the baby's
gonna be healthier

276
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,669
if there's really a connection
that happens during intercourse.

277
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,837
I can't even believe it.

278
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,921
- This gets weirder.
- LARRY: What?

279
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,007
So I say, "Yes."
They say, "Terrific.

280
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,926
How's tonight work?
She's ovulating tonight."

281
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,012
And what they say to me is,
"Here's how it's gonna work."

282
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,930
'Cause there's rules.
They want boundaries.

283
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,099
Keep it kind of clinical.
But guess what happens?

284
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,768
- What happens?
- When the shit gets lit up,

285
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,019
there's no goddamn rules.

286
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,520
- (LAUGHTER)
- You know what I mean?

287
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,439
She comes in the door,
and it's on.

288
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,690
- Wow.
- (LAUGHS)

289
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,400
I mean, we do it at my house
on the Funk-O-Matic.

290
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,610
SUSIE: Oh, wow.

291
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,695
We're biting butts.
We're-- we're biting ears.

292
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,030
This is fucking crazy.

293
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,074
It's some of the best sex
I've ever had in my life.

294
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,075
And she loves her husband?

295
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,868
She's 100 percent in love
with her husband.

296
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,495
Do you give her a climax?

297
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,080
- Well, I don't know.
- How would you not know?

298
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,790
- I don't ask.
- IRMA: Do you smell musk?

299
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,876
The sex musk you release
is great for conception.

300
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,712
I release a lot of sex musk.
Don't I, Larry?

301
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,880
- (EXHALES SHARPLY)
- I mean--

302
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,548
- (PUPPY CRYING)
- Oh, puppy!

303
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,841
(SINGSONGS) <i>♪ Puppy ♪</i>

304
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,259
- JEFF GREENE: Oh, puppy.
- SUSIE: Where's my little boy?

305
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,929
I'm gonna make a toast here.
I don't mind, I have a mocktail.

306
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,013
- Sure.
- Okay.

307
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,390
Because I'm sober.

308
00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,724
- And cheers to that.
- Cheers to that.

309
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,226
You want a sip? You want a sip?

310
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,896
- That's very funny. Very funny.
- ALL: Aww...

311
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,981
Oh my goodness.

312
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,484
Okay, so I decided what
we're gonna name him.

313
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,568
- TED: What's that?
- CHERYL: Yeah?

314
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,487
- Frankie, after Sinatra.
- Oh, that's cute.

315
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,698
- That's a boy?
- It's a little boy.

316
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,867
I gotta say, for a male dog,
it looks a tad effeminate.

317
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,160
CHERYL: Oh my God. Come on.

318
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,037
I think you better
get that dog a pronoun.

319
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,081
- CHERYL: Larry.
- ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

320
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,625
JIMMY: <i>Okay, Troy, three steps
we're gonna work on.</i>

321
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,003
First, rotation
on the backswing.

322
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:31,673
Back to the target. Beautiful.
Okay. That's the first piece.

323
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,551
Second piece,
same rotation, that backswing.

324
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,761
Okay, up to the top and stop.

325
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,264
Nice. Okay, now here's
the master move, okay?

326
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:44,102
Next piece, from there,
we go vertical drop. Okay?

327
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,187
Horizontal tug. Nice.

328
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,731
Can you feel it with
the obliques there?

329
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,940
One more time.

330
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,900
Up to the top.
Feel the rotation.

331
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,694
Vertical drop.

332
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,699
Horizontal tug.

333
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,120
Hey. Can I help you?

334
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,122
Nah, I'm good.

335
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:07,042
Okay, uh, got a...
private lesson with Troy here.

336
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,001
Yeah, yeah. Go.

337
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,502
Hey, look,
if you wanna book a lesson,

338
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,712
just call the golf shop.

339
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,672
They'll be happy
to set something up for you.

340
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,132
Nah, I'm good.
I'm just sitting here.

341
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,633
Well, it didn't look like you
were just sitting.

342
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,677
I saw the vertical drop,
horizontal tug.

343
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,929
There's a bench here.
I'm allowed to sit on a bench.

344
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,806
- It's not that kind of bench.
- What kind of bench is it?

345
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,641
It's not
a lingering bench, okay?

346
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,809
It's-- it's an aesthetic bench.
Okay?

347
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,977
- LARRY: An aesthetic bench?
- Yeah.

348
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,437
No. Benches are for sitting.

349
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,481
Okay. We're gonna get back to
the lesson, if you don't mind.

350
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,690
- Please.
- JIMMY: Let's try it again.

351
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,025
The rotation.

352
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,486
Okay, stay in your spine angle.
Now vertical drop,

353
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:35,987
horizontal tug.
Yeah, there it is.

354
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,615
Okay, let's try one.
Altogether, one piece.

355
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,034
♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

356
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,130
I did Wordle again today.

357
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,508
I'm a Wordle wizard, man.
I did it in three tries.

358
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,176
- Really?
- Three days in a row, man.

359
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,011
Wow, you're really
on a good streak.

360
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,013
I'm on a huge streak.
That's right.

361
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,557
All right, let's see
if I can continue my streak.

362
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,809
I know.
You've been unbelievable.

363
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,602
What is this all about?
How are you doing this?

364
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,355
You know why? I sat on a bench
this morning

365
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,731
and overheard a lesson.

366
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,483
I've had thousands
of hours of lessons.

367
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,403
Two minutes on that bench.
This guy changed my life.

368
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,445
What kind of tips?

369
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,738
- Vertical drop...
- Yeah.

370
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,823
Horizontal tug!

371
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,075
- Horizontal tug?
- Vertical drop,

372
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,159
horizontal tug!

373
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,495
Now, I've dropped before,
but I've never tugged!

374
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,496
And now I'm tugging!

375
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,872
- Maybe I should tug.
- You gotta tug!

376
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,125
- Can you teach me how to tug?
- I'll teach you how to tug!

377
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:30,959
This is fantastic.

378
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,293
- Can I tell you something?
- Sure.

379
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,212
I think this is the happiest
I've ever been in my life!

380
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,880
I don't even know
who I'm looking at right now.

381
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,757
How is something good
happening to me?

382
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,467
No one on the planet
would believe that you're happy.

383
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,761
- How is this possible?
- Well, I have better news
for you.

384
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,971
I'm leaving you in my will.

385
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,389
I'm tweaking it,
and you're in it.

386
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,598
No, no, no, don't do that.

387
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,891
It's done. You're in.

388
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,810
I don't wanna be in.
I have money. I don't need it.

389
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,228
Give it to someone who needs it.

390
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,063
When I die, I want you to know
how much I cared about you.

391
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,898
I'm not gonna keep it.
I'm gonna give it to charity.

392
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,233
You're my best friend.
You're getting it.

393
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,901
No, I'm making
a Shermanesque statement

394
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,069
about the will right now.

395
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,904
I'm sick of
your historical references.

396
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,656
If nominated, I will not run.

397
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,199
If bequeathed,
I will not accept.

398
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,076
- Well, I'm bequeathing.
- Well, I'm not accepting.

399
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,911
- Well, you'll have to accept.
- Don't give it to me!

400
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:07,996
Don't hurt my feelings.

401
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,289
I'm not gonna
keep a penny of it.

402
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,124
- You're hurting me.
- Thank you, but I don't want it.

403
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,876
RICHARD LEWIS: I'm giving it
to you anyway, pal.

404
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,544
LARRY: Oh my God. Fuck you!

405
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,134
What are you doing?

406
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,887
- What do you mean? I'm waiting.
- JEFF: For what?

407
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,764
Troy and Jimmy
are on the fairway.

408
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:26,931
You're never gonna hit them.

409
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,266
You don't think
I could hit them?

410
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:31,311
No! You've never hit the ball
that far in your life.

411
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,395
Come on.

412
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,563
- LARRY: Really?
- JEFF: Yeah.

413
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,523
You're never gonna hit it
that far. What are you, nuts?

414
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,900
All right, shut up.

415
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,401
No, you shut up.

416
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,074
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

417
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,163
(TROY GROANS)

418
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,664
- Holy shit!
- You hit him.

419
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,499
I hit him!

420
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,584
- JIMMY: Troy, you okay?
- (TROY GROANING)

421
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,127
- Oh my God!
- How did you do that?

422
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,088
(YELLING) Hey! What the fuck?

423
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,465
I-- I-- I told you
I shouldn't have fucking--

424
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,508
Hey! Larry!

425
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,469
LARRY: Oh! Oh, no! (RAMBLING)

426
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,845
Hey, Troy, are you okay?

427
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,681
Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.
Take it easy.

428
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,767
Oh my God.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

429
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,102
What in the hell?

430
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,479
I don't know what happened.
I'm so sorry.

431
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,605
Why didn't you yell "fore"?

432
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,149
Well, I couldn't yell "fore."
I mean, he can't hear.

433
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,318
And what would
be the point? I waved.

434
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,486
I did a lot of waving.

435
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,446
When you talk,
the interpreter can hear you.

436
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,490
I know, but he was too far.
He was in the car.

437
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,242
I could've grabbed him!
We could have ran to the trees!

438
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:28,910
There was no time!
The ball was coming down!

439
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,578
There's plenty of time!
You yell "fore" when you hit it.

440
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,455
Superman couldn't
get there in time to stop that.

441
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,457
You should've waited
till we were in the clear!
Why didn't you wait?

442
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,167
Because then
the guys I was playing with,

443
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,585
they said, "Oh, go, go, go."

444
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,754
They embarrassed me. They said,
"Oh, you can never hit him."

445
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,007
Did you do the vertical drop,
horizontal tug?

446
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,174
Yeah, I did it. I did it.

447
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,759
I did the vertical drop
and the horizontal tug.

448
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,136
And you know what?
It really worked.

449
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,179
Look how far I hit the ball.
I couldn't even believe it.

450
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,348
- INTERPRETER: I'm watching you.
- LARRY: Watching me?

451
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,183
Really? There's not
much to watch, honestly.

452
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,977
I mean, I don't
really go anywhere.

453
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,353
I'm home most of the time.

454
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,189
I'll do a crossword puzzle.
Sometimes I'll go out to dinner.

455
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,567
I hate my life.
You don't wanna witness it.

456
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,194
You're a real asshole.

457
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,030
You know what? I am so deeply

458
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,906
and profoundly sorry
for what happened.

459
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,034
I really wanna make it
up to you somehow.

460
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,202
Let me get you
a Postmates dinner.

461
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:14,039
I'll send one to your house.
Would you like that?

462
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,874
There's some very
good restaurants on Postmates.

463
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,208
I'll have it delivered right
to your door!

464
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,252
So, you don't want a Post--
Hey, what did you do?

465
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,129
- Did you tell him
what I just said?
- Everything.

466
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,839
- You tell him about
the Postmates dinner?
- I did.

467
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,299
What'd you tell him?
You just went like this.

468
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,009
- You didn't do anything.
- That's the sign
for "Postmates dinner."

469
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,635
- It took two seconds.
- I'm good!

470
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,971
Oh, you didn't tell him
about the Postmates dinner.
Don't bullshit me.

471
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,514
Why didn't you tell him
about the Postmates dinner?

472
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,391
- INTERPRETER: I told him.
- That's a very nice gesture!

473
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,561
Deeply and profoundly sorry,
and you offer him Postmates?

474
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,188
You know he didn't tell him
about the Postmates!

475
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,482
- He did. He told him.
- By the way, where's my ball?

476
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,691
I don't know.

477
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:42,776
- LARRY: You don't know?
- I don't know.

478
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,860
What do you mean,
you don't know?

479
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,111
It hit him in the back
right over here!

480
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,905
- It's up your ass, Larry!
- Where's the ball?

481
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,114
- It's gone!
- You took my ball?

482
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,699
Go back to the tee,
hit another ball!

483
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,659
- LARRY: You took my ball?
- Go back to the tee,
hit another ball!

484
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,078
Two stroke penalty!

485
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,829
You know what? I'm gonna just
drop it over here, that's all.

486
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,414
I'll drop it where
the body was. Right here.

487
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,457
That's in the rules.

488
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,125
I'm not gonna take
a penalty, I'll tell you that.

489
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,127
I'm not taking a penalty.
I hit the ball over here.

490
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,754
I hit one of the great shots
of my life.

491
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,464
I'm playing from here.

492
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,467
Oh! They threw my ball away.
I gotta take a drop.

493
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,136
- No, no. No dropping, man.
- You can't take a drop.

494
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,930
What are you talking about?
They threw my ball away.

495
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,598
- You hit somebody!
- That's right!

496
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,351
He's fine! He's okay.
Listen, I'm dropping a ball.

497
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,186
Not on our watch
you're dropping a ball.

498
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,813
I'm not going back to the tee!

499
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:26,403
(COYOTE HOWLING)

500
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:30,407
- What the fuck was that?
- Holy shit.

501
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,244
- It sounds like a coyote.
- (COYOTE SNARLING)

502
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,621
- It is a coyote.
They're killers, man.
- (PUPPY WHIMPERING)

503
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,415
Sounds like he's eating a dog.

504
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,625
RICHARD: Jeff,
don't you live around there?

505
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,960
That is my house.

506
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,129
- (PUPPY WHIMPERING)
- Oh my God!

507
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,172
That could be my puppy!

508
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,633
- (WHIMPERING STOPS)
- (COYOTE HOWLING)

509
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,303
You know what, Larr?
I gotta go home.

510
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,430
Huh? What?

511
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:56,016
- That could be my dog!
- Does your neighbor have a dog?

512
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,392
Yeah, there's a few dogs around.

513
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,686
All right, so it might be
one of your neighbors' dogs.

514
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,521
Uh, that sounded like a puppy.

515
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,605
I mean... (HESITATING)

516
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,691
If he's eaten, there's nothing
you can do about it.

517
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,692
And if he's dead,

518
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,068
what are you
gonna do, sit shiva?

519
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,279
Yeah. Can't bring
the dog back to life.

520
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,989
We're talking about a puppy!

521
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,991
Yeah, I know,
but we're on the golf course,

522
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,035
we're having a nice day.
You'll see it later.

523
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,453
He's right, man.
You know he's right.

524
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,121
And if it's not, there's nothing
to be gained by going home.

525
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,581
Let's just play.

526
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,458
You know what? You're right.

527
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:24,836
Either my puppy's dead,
or it's a neighbor's dog.

528
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,212
Nothing you could do either way.

529
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,881
All right, I'll play.

530
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,132
Well, all right.
Well, I'm dropping.

531
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,633
- You're not dropping.
- Can't drop.

532
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,052
- I'm dropping.
- JEFF: You're not dropping.

533
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,887
- Oh, I'm dropping.
- You are not dropping the ball!

534
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,013
Fuck you!
I'm dropping the ball.

535
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,598
- You are not dropping the ball!
- Fuck you!

536
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:37,682
You're a cheater!

537
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,267
- LARRY: No, you're a cheater.
- JEFF: You're a cheater!

538
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,102
- LARRY: You're a cheater!
- JEFF: You're a cheater!

539
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,146
- LARRY: You're a cheater!
- JEFF: Cheater!

540
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,982
How 'bout the drive on 15?

541
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,401
- Oh, that was, uh...
- What about that, huh?

542
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,320
♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

543
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,030
- Oh, Frankie!
- Oh-ho!

544
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,824
Wow! Look at this! Wow! Baby.

545
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,159
- Oh, God.
- SUSIE: What?

546
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,370
- Oh! He's alive!
- Frankie's alive.

547
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,163
Of course he's alive.
Why would he not be alive?

548
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,206
You don't understand.

549
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,957
We're having
the game of our lives...

550
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,876
- Yeah.
- ...and we hear a coyote

551
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,294
and then a yelp.

552
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,505
- We heard a coyote. (HOWLS)
- JEFF: It was crazy.

553
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,215
We thought the coyote
ate the dog!

554
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,133
Oh my God.
You thought it was Frankie?

555
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,135
- BOTH: Yeah!
- So what did you do?

556
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:19,224
Wh-- what? Did--

557
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,685
What, you-- you--
you continued to play?

558
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:22,644
Yeah.

559
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,564
You didn't quit and come
to see if he was okay?

560
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,484
We just assumed that,
you know, he was...

561
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,444
Dead. And if he's dead,
what can we do?

562
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,531
This little boy, this little
beautiful little creature,

563
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:37,075
is dead,
and you continue to play?

564
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,577
What kind of heartless
pieces of shit are you?

565
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,956
We thought about the puppy
and how the puppy was dead,

566
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,290
and we thought about golf,

567
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,210
- and golf was there.
- Yeah. What can we do?

568
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,795
- There's nothing to do.
- Well, what about me?

569
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,297
You didn't think about
how I was feeling at home

570
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,216
with the coyote eating my boy?

571
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,719
I must admit, you didn't
come into our heads.

572
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:59,097
Really? You are about
as selfish as they come.

573
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,390
And you, Larry,

574
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,393
you have no heart.
You have no soul.

575
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,353
What if I was maimed
by a coyote?

576
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,106
What would you do then, huh?
Would you continue playing?

577
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:11,276
Certainly, I would
give you more consideration

578
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:13,194
than I gave the dog.

579
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,447
- Uh-huh.
- But ultimately,

580
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:17,949
I think I'd play through.

581
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,617
All right, you know what?
Get the fuck out.
You disgust me.

582
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,953
What do you do
after a person's dead?

583
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,079
It's-- They're dead!

584
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,998
Don't ever touch this dog,

585
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,500
think of this dog,
look at this dog!

586
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,544
No loss to me...

587
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:31,504
to not be involved
with your dog.

588
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,965
Don't care.
That's no punishment at all.

589
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,300
- Get out!
- Okay, I'll leave.

590
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,676
But in my defense,
let me just say

591
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,220
there are very few people
I'd leave the golf course for

592
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,930
if I found out they died.

593
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,475
Even you!

594
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,476
Really?

595
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:45,810
Well, depends how I'm playing.

596
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,604
♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

597
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:48,772
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

598
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,231
LARRY: Coming!

599
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,318
- Ah!
- Hey, Larry.

600
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,736
- Hello, Duane.
- Sorry to barge in,

601
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,321
but got the estimate
for the tree service.

602
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,740
If you got a minute,
I'd like to talk about it.

603
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,325
Yeah. Come on in. Yeah.

604
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,160
DUANE: Thanks.

605
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,953
(LARRY SIGHS)

606
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,830
<i>So, um, how you feeling?</i>

607
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,915
We're healing.

608
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,166
- Yeah.
- Healing. Slowly.

609
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,670
Good. Have you had any laughs
at all since?

610
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,421
- In the last 48 hours?
- LARRY: Yeah.

611
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,131
No, not a whole lot of laughter
in the house.

612
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:18,093
Just curious. I mean,
if somebody told a joke,

613
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:20,387
do you think you have
the capacity to laugh?

614
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,597
I-- I guess it would depend
on the joke, Larry.

615
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,683
So a funny joke
could make you laugh.

616
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,559
And provide
some temporary relief...

617
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,187
- LARRY: Ah! Got it!
- ...in a very painful time.

618
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,107
Got it. Okay.
Okay. Just curious.

619
00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,358
- So, the invoice.
- Yeah.

620
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,360
- I got the invoice
from the tree service.
- Sure.

621
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,362
They had to remove
the stump too, so...

622
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,030
We can just split that
down the middle.

623
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,075
(SCOFFS, LAUGHS)
Okay, come on.

624
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,827
- Duane.
- They had to remove the stump.

625
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,537
- Twenty-seven hundred?
- Yes.

626
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,664
For eating a couple
lemons a month?

627
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,625
And that's how much it costs
to get rid of a tree.

628
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,253
Duane, I gotta tell you
something, okay?

629
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,672
This is very
un-Tubman-like behavior.

630
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,340
Okay, that's-- that's the
second time with Tubmans.

631
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,550
- I don't know what you mean.
- Yeah.

632
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,301
Well, what I mean is,
I don't think

633
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,388
that your great aunt Harriet
would condone this.

634
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:04,848
So what kind of person
was she, Larry?

635
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,307
Well, she was the kind of person

636
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,560
who smuggled slaves
from the South to the North

637
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,562
- and didn't charge them.
- Really?

638
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:13,064
You know what Harriet Tubman
would have done?

639
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,275
She would have
come over to my house

640
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,569
- with a big basket of lemons.
- DUANE: Really?

641
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,196
LARRY: "Larry, darling, take
as many lemons as you'd like."

642
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,406
I'd go, "Harriet, you know what?

643
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,907
They're dropping into the yard.
I don't need it."

644
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,409
Wow, this has been
a real education for me...

645
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:25,577
"Thank you. Thank you."

646
00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:28,079
- ...on my own ancestry.
- Oh, hey. This is Leon.

647
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,414
You know Duane, our neighbor?

648
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:30,623
- What's up, D?
- Hey, brother.

649
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,875
- How you doing, brother?
- Good to see you, brother.

650
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,251
Oh, yeah, he gets a
"brother" right away, huh?

651
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,794
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, that's what we do.

652
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,755
Every Black person
you meet, you say "brother" to?
"Hey, brother"?

653
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,923
You say "brother" and you give
him one of those right there.

654
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:39,841
Uh-huh. Yeah. You too?

655
00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:42,260
- Respectful nod.
- A nod is like our aloha.

656
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,553
I don't do a Jew nod.

657
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,597
You know, you guys got
that song already, "Hey, Jew."

658
00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:48,725
No, no, that's "Hey Jude,"
with a D. J-U-D-E.

659
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,602
Anyway, Duane,
let's have a neighborly

660
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,604
- adult discussion about this.
- (GROANS)

661
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:55,440
LARRY: I'd like to help you out.
I wanna do the right thing here.

662
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,108
- I can't possibly pay all this.
- Yeah. Yeah.

663
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,277
LARRY: There's some charges here
that I just can't possibly
go along with.

664
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:00,862
It's the stump.
They've got to get the wood--

665
00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:02,614
- LARRY: It just seems
very excessive.
- They gotta get the woodchipper.

666
00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:04,324
It's not fair. It's not right.
It's not my tree.

667
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:06,534
- I don't really care.
- I don't pull these numbers--
I don't make them up.

668
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,119
LARRY: I'd like to think
I'm a fair man.

669
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,704
Am I a fair man? Huh?

670
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,873
- This is a fair man right here.
- LARRY: I do the right thing,
don't I?

671
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,625
LEON: What you see is
what the fuck you get.

672
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,543
- LARRY: And I'd like to do
the right thing.
- (GROANS) Okay. Okay.

673
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,379
Don't worry about it. I got it.
I'll see myself out.

674
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:19,506
- You mean I don't have to pay?
- DUANE: No, you do not.

675
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,424
- What the hell was that?
- (DOOR CLOSES)

676
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,218
- I don't know.
- LARRY: That was amazing.

677
00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:25,095
My boy just ran out of here. Mm.

678
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,809
(SHOUTS) Oh my God!
No, no, no, no, no!

679
00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:32,310
There they are!

680
00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:34,312
He saw it! He saw it!

681
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,814
That's why he
rushed out of here!

682
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:38,400
He saw your boys!
Those withered,

683
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,319
leathered grotesqueries
just saved me

684
00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:43,488
thirteen hundred
and fifty dollars!

685
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:46,449
He lost his mind! He left!
I don't have to pay anything!

686
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,993
That's fucked up.
All Black balls are like this.

687
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,870
Thank you. And thank you!

688
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,997
Yeah. My balls said,
"You're welcome."

689
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:56,710
LARRY: <i>And he sits on
the arm of the couch,</i>

690
00:22:56,710 --> 00:23:00,296
- and his balls are hanging out.
- (ALL LAUGH)

691
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:04,300
And the guy got so
discombobulated and takes off.

692
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,344
(ALL LAUGH)

693
00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:08,221
My balls showed up
and saved the fucking day.

694
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,682
That reminds me.
Remember that girl Lydia,

695
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,308
that I'm-- the neighbor
that I'm helping out?

696
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,019
- She is ovulating.
- RICHARD: Lucky you.

697
00:23:14,019 --> 00:23:16,688
The bad news, though,
is I have to go up to Shasta.

698
00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:18,189
I got a mattress emergency,

699
00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:19,691
so I'm not gonna be able
to be in town.

700
00:23:19,691 --> 00:23:22,068
But, uh, she's asking
if I know anybody.

701
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,154
Any of you guys willing to, uh,

702
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:25,572
step in and help
my neighbor out,

703
00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,866
- being there for her--
for her pregnancy needs?
- JEFF: What?

704
00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:29,117
- Seriously?
- RICHARD: You're kidding.

705
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,869
We're on the bench
and you sending in a reliever?

706
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:32,787
Yes. You guys wanna see her?
Here she is.

707
00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:34,247
- LARRY: Sure.
- RICHARD: Beautiful.

708
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,957
- FREDDY: Yeah?
- Let me see that.

709
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:37,917
Yeah, I'll hit that.

710
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,211
- She's fabulous. And I'm in.
- You're in?

711
00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:41,588
I mean, what do you got,
three sperm?

712
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,716
You could have intercourse
with her for the next 15 years,

713
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:46,885
there's no way you're
ever gonna impregnate her.

714
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:48,762
I'll bet you thousand dollars
I have more sperm than you.

715
00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,722
You got more sperm than me?
In your dreams.

716
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:52,057
And I will bury you
with my sperm.

717
00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:54,392
The only problem is
you can't get someone pregnant

718
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:55,727
on old-ass sperm and shit

719
00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:57,395
when it's in powdered milk form.

720
00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:59,564
- (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES) Jesus.

721
00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:01,232
All right. I'm out, Leon.

722
00:24:01,232 --> 00:24:03,068
- I'll tap that.
- FREDDY: Leon's in.

723
00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:04,611
Let me get a video here.
Hold on.

724
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:05,570
I'm gonna send her this.

725
00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:07,030
Make it simple
and make it quick.

726
00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,490
Here we go. Ready? All right.

727
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:10,867
I'm Leon Black.
You know what it is.

728
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:12,869
I'm looking forward to tapping
that ass. Hope you ready.

729
00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,246
And if you happen
to get pregnant, that's a bonus.

730
00:24:15,246 --> 00:24:16,748
How about that? Hmm?

731
00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:18,792
Yeah, that's
what's gonna happen.

732
00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:21,211
All right, there you go.
Let's see what she says.

733
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,129
LEON: So just deliver
about three or four mattresses,

734
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,924
put 'em in front of the house.
That way when I wear one out,

735
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:28,176
I'll bring a new mattress,
put that shit down too.

736
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,302
Yeah, you gotta have
a lot of runway

737
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:30,720
to land the plane. I understand.

738
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,514
- Fuck yeah.
- Okay, she got back to me.

739
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,890
- Boy, that was quick.
- Oh, boy.

740
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:36,559
And she said yes
to Mr. Leon Black.

741
00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,353
- LARRY: Oh! My God.
- Oh! Fuck yeah.

742
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:40,105
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.

743
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:42,273
Hey, funny guy.

744
00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:44,067
When you hit
Troy with golf ball,

745
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:45,568
you didn't say "fore."

746
00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:46,820
- I waved.
- MR. TAKAHASHI: Wave?

747
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:49,239
Wave means what?
"Hello." "Goodbye."

748
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,073
But it doesn't mean

749
00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:51,783
"I'm gonna hit you
with a golf ball."

750
00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,868
But he's deaf. He can't hear.
What was I supposed to do?

751
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:55,912
And also, why'd you steal
a lesson from Jimmy?

752
00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,497
I didn't steal a lesson
from Jimmy.

753
00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:59,833
It's because
your golf is so terrible

754
00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,127
- nothing can help. Huh?
- Oh.

755
00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:03,712
It's <i>kusai.</i>

756
00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:04,963
<i>- Kusai?</i>
- TAKAHASHI: Yes.

757
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,256
- What is that?
- Stinky.

758
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:07,257
Oh.

759
00:25:07,257 --> 00:25:08,758
One more mistake...

760
00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:11,094
and you're out.

761
00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:13,638
Enjoy.

762
00:25:15,056 --> 00:25:16,099
(LEON EXHALES)

763
00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:20,103
<i>Sou desu ka.</i>

764
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:25,650
<i>- Sou desu ka.
- Sou desu ka.</i>

765
00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:28,820
ALL: <i>Sou desu ka.</i>

766
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,364
<i>- Sou desu ka.
- Sou desu ka.</i>

767
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:32,574
What?

768
00:25:36,786 --> 00:25:37,996
<i>Baka.</i>

769
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,249
- RICHARD: Hmm.
<i>- Baka.</i>

770
00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:44,085
ALL: <i>Baka. Baka.</i>

771
00:25:44,085 --> 00:25:46,254
<i>Baka. Baka.</i>

772
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:48,590
<i>Baka. Baka. Baka.</i>

773
00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:50,050
LARRY: Hey, what is this?

774
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,634
- RICHARD: What?
- LARRY: Look at this.

775
00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,636
- RICHARD: What is that?
- They roped off the bench.

776
00:25:53,636 --> 00:25:55,347
- Because of you?
- Yeah.

777
00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:57,182
"Sitting prohibited
during lessons"?

778
00:25:57,182 --> 00:26:00,602
- What an asshole! I got roped!
- You did get roped.

779
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:03,021
- ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)

780
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,022
LARRY: <i>Oh, do I suck.</i>

781
00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:06,024
I had to pick up.
At least you putted out.

782
00:26:06,024 --> 00:26:08,276
So sick of this game.
What a waste of time.

783
00:26:08,276 --> 00:26:09,444
Hey, by the way, my will?

784
00:26:09,444 --> 00:26:11,112
I'm gonna see
an estate attorney this week,

785
00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:13,281
so you'll be covered.
You're-- you're set.

786
00:26:13,281 --> 00:26:15,367
You know... (SCOFFS)

787
00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:17,994
...it's kind of starting
to dawn on me what's going on.

788
00:26:17,994 --> 00:26:20,163
- What are you talking about?
- You're putting me
in your will

789
00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:23,500
'cause you want me
to put you in my will.

790
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,709
Are you out of your
fucking mind?

791
00:26:24,709 --> 00:26:26,503
- Huh? Is that right?
- Would I be that shallow

792
00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:27,879
- and that manipulative...
- Yes.

793
00:26:27,879 --> 00:26:29,589
- ...and clandestine?
- Yes, you would. Yeah.

794
00:26:29,589 --> 00:26:30,757
- Oh, that's bullshit.
- Yeah, you would.

795
00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:31,925
This is a low point.

796
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,551
Oh, no, it never occurred
to you?

797
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:35,679
Well, but now
that you mention it...

798
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,347
it sort of makes sense.

799
00:26:37,347 --> 00:26:39,641
I'll give you the same
that you give me. How's that?

800
00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,726
- I'd say we do percentages.
- And by the way,

801
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,353
what makes you think
that I'm gonna die before you?

802
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:45,730
- You're a little
ragged right now.
- You think that?

803
00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:47,607
- I'm in a little better
shape than you. Yeah.
- Oh, really?

804
00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,693
I'm gonna outlive you
by 20 years.

805
00:26:49,693 --> 00:26:51,695
My trainer
is gonna move in with me.

806
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,614
As soon as I get home,
I'm gonna hire a nutritionist,

807
00:26:54,614 --> 00:26:57,242
I'm gonna get an acupuncturist,
a masseuse.

808
00:26:57,242 --> 00:26:58,618
I will not have a donut

809
00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:00,412
- for the rest of my life...
- You think so?

810
00:27:00,412 --> 00:27:01,663
...just 'cause
I wanna outlive you.

811
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:03,498
You know what? Sugar.

812
00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:04,874
Oh, you cocksucker.

813
00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:06,584
You gave away Wordle?
You fuck.

814
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:07,919
- That's so low.
- You deserve it.

815
00:27:07,919 --> 00:27:09,337
You sicken me.
Well, you know what?

816
00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:11,548
I'm gonna be waking up
at five o'clock every morning

817
00:27:11,548 --> 00:27:12,924
and giving Wordle away.

818
00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,342
You'll never do another Wordle
for the rest of your life.

819
00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:16,261
Yeah, you do that. I'll wake up
at four every morning

820
00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:17,470
and ruin it for you.

821
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,055
I'll-- I'll call my friend
in New York!

822
00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:20,432
Yeah, I'll call
my friend in London!

823
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:22,684
I got a friend in Israel!
What do you think about that?

824
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:24,853
RICHARD:
My friend lives on the equator!

825
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:28,148
(TOILET FLUSHES)

826
00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:31,109
(DOOR LOCKS)

827
00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:33,278
JIMMY: So what do you feel
like's been the common miss?

828
00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:35,280
STEVE: I just feel like I'm
using all muscle, no technique.

829
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,239
- Muscle?
- Yeah.

830
00:27:36,239 --> 00:27:37,699
I don't know,
I'm leading with the hips

831
00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:39,367
- like I'm always doing, right?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

832
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,286
That's the worst advice ever,
to keep your head down.

833
00:27:41,286 --> 00:27:43,496
- You gotta release
the head, okay?
- The head?

834
00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:44,956
- JIMMY: Then the hips.
- STEVE: Oh, man.

835
00:27:44,956 --> 00:27:46,166
- JIMMY: Everything comes after
that, right?
- STEVE: Right.

836
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,125
JIMMY: Soften it all up,

837
00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:49,377
and we're gonna take it up
to the top. Okay?

838
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,380
♪ (COMIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

839
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,882
And then with the head.

840
00:27:53,882 --> 00:27:56,384
- What are you looking at?
- Unbelievable.

841
00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:57,844
Larry, I see you in there.

842
00:27:57,844 --> 00:27:59,346
- LARRY: What?
- Stealing another lesson!

843
00:27:59,346 --> 00:28:01,723
LARRY: I'm not
stealing a lesson,
I'm using the bathroom!

844
00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,808
JIMMY: Just a master
of deception and subterfuge.

845
00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:05,477
LARRY: Get the hell out.
I was here first!

846
00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:07,270
So what are-- I don't even
know what you're talking about!

847
00:28:07,270 --> 00:28:09,189
Yeah, you're here first 'cause
you're creeping and peeping!

848
00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:11,441
You didn't pay
for the other one.
You owe me two lessons now.

849
00:28:11,441 --> 00:28:12,776
LARRY: And that's not
even a lesson!

850
00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:14,652
What, are you telling him
to pick his head up?

851
00:28:14,652 --> 00:28:15,987
Everybody says
to put their head down.

852
00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:17,280
No, you gotta release the head.

853
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,532
LARRY: Who doesn't look
at the ball, you fucking idiot?

854
00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:21,076
Mr. Takahashi's gonna
hear about this one.

855
00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,495
LARRY: Yeah, go ahead! Tell him.
I don't give a shit.

856
00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:24,496
Let's get out of here.

857
00:28:24,496 --> 00:28:25,789
LARRY: "Don't look
at the ball!"

858
00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:27,290
Give me a break!

859
00:28:27,582 --> 00:28:28,667
Moron!

860
00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:30,293
- SUSIE: Is he
the cutest, Cheryl?
- He is the cutest!

861
00:28:30,293 --> 00:28:32,337
I'm petting his fur coat
like that's his fur.

862
00:28:32,337 --> 00:28:34,047
- I had it custom made.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

863
00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,840
- SUSIE: It's open!
- TED: He's pooping?

864
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,384
SUSIE: Oh, his poops
are gorgeous.

865
00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:39,636
- I mean, the most
beautifully formed poops.
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)

866
00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:41,471
- Hey, Larr. What's up?
- CHERYL: Hey, Larry.

867
00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:42,972
Came to use the, uh, Theragun.

868
00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:45,141
I injured my groin
with this new swing.

869
00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:47,185
- The what?
- The Theragun. My birthday gift?

870
00:28:47,185 --> 00:28:49,187
Oh, it's down there.
It's down right where

871
00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:50,897
you left it last time.
It's right there.

872
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:52,857
So, he's some kind of genius
or something,

873
00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:53,858
- I'm not kidding.
- Oh, yeah.

874
00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:55,151
SUSIE:
The dog has such a high IQ.

875
00:28:55,151 --> 00:28:57,278
- TED: He's a regular Einstein.
- CHERYL: He's so smart.

876
00:28:57,278 --> 00:28:58,488
(SUSIE BABBLES)

877
00:28:58,488 --> 00:29:00,532
- SUSIE: Auntie Cheryl
and Uncle Ted.
- (THERAGUN WHIRS)

878
00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:01,866
CHERYL: He is a smart puppy.

879
00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:04,035
- I know. Isn't that the cutest?
- (LARRY GROANS)

880
00:29:04,035 --> 00:29:06,246
Oh my God,
this thing is fantastic.

881
00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:08,456
- What're you doing?
- LARRY: Oh! Oh, what a relief.

882
00:29:08,456 --> 00:29:10,583
Isn't that something
you should be doing in private?

883
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:11,793
- LARRY: No, it's a--
- Yeah, it is.

884
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:13,461
What-- What are you--
I got pants on.

885
00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:14,671
What are you talking about?

886
00:29:14,671 --> 00:29:15,880
- Oh, Frankie, what's the matter?
- Oh yeah.

887
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,923
- That's scaring him.
- (FRANKIE BARKING)

888
00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:18,091
Hey, hey,
shut the fuck up, will ya!

889
00:29:18,091 --> 00:29:19,384
Don't you talk
to my dog that way!

890
00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:21,636
But it's already getting better.
I feel it loosening up.

891
00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:22,846
All right, good for you.

892
00:29:22,846 --> 00:29:23,888
Huh? You've never--
Here. You want to try it?

893
00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:25,849
- No. Get that away from me.
- Huh?

894
00:29:25,849 --> 00:29:27,058
- You wanna try it?
- No.

895
00:29:27,058 --> 00:29:28,852
You just rubbed it
on your balls. No thank you.

896
00:29:28,852 --> 00:29:31,229
Hey, an old man like you,
you should be using this.

897
00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:32,272
It's really good.

898
00:29:32,272 --> 00:29:34,566
You know, we heard
about you on the golf course,

899
00:29:34,566 --> 00:29:36,609
with the coyote
and Frankie thing.

900
00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,403
So? It's not my dog.

901
00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:40,280
I was playing golf.
I wanted to finish the round.

902
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,033
- That's so selfish.
- What was I gonna do,

903
00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:45,076
give the dog
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

904
00:29:45,076 --> 00:29:47,871
Well, you could stop golfing
and make sure the dog is alive.

905
00:29:47,871 --> 00:29:50,915
- LARRY: What, what, what?
- That's like what a human being
would do.

906
00:29:50,915 --> 00:29:52,751
What am I supposed to do,
go to his funeral?

907
00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:53,918
I mean, I don't understand.

908
00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:56,296
I think you were hoping
that Frankie was dead...

909
00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:57,756
- (SCOFFS)
- ...because you were jealous.

910
00:29:57,756 --> 00:29:59,924
That's lunacy.
I hope the dog is dead?

911
00:29:59,924 --> 00:30:01,926
Why do I give a shit
about a dumb little dog?

912
00:30:01,926 --> 00:30:03,178
- You're jealous because...
- LARRY: Jealous?

913
00:30:03,178 --> 00:30:05,638
...we gave Susie a gift
that means something to her,

914
00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:08,516
and you gave that
stupid thigh jackhammer.

915
00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:10,352
- (MOANS)
- CHERYL: I mean, really?

916
00:30:10,352 --> 00:30:12,979
- By the way...
- Hey, turn that off
while we're talking, will ya?

917
00:30:12,979 --> 00:30:14,439
Go to the bathroom and do it.

918
00:30:14,439 --> 00:30:16,816
You always have to be
the center of attention, man.

919
00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:18,735
Center of attention?
I don't understand.

920
00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:21,154
Atlanta. Come on. Really?

921
00:30:21,154 --> 00:30:24,449
You know what I think?
I think you're jealous

922
00:30:24,449 --> 00:30:27,786
that I'm the one
who got arrested in Atlanta...

923
00:30:27,786 --> 00:30:28,828
- CHERYL: Oh, brother.
- Oh God.

924
00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:30,205
...and I'm getting
all this attention.

925
00:30:30,205 --> 00:30:32,290
Yeah, you know what?
Yeah, I am jealous.

926
00:30:32,290 --> 00:30:33,875
Yeah, I know you are.
I know you are.

927
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:36,002
- You know why? I should've been
the one who was arrested...
- Yeah.

928
00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:37,837
...because I use it
as a platform

929
00:30:37,837 --> 00:30:39,172
- for the good of the planet.
- Yes.

930
00:30:39,172 --> 00:30:40,840
Yeah, use it for the good
of your publicist.

931
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,300
- Hey, you know, my--
- You know what? He's authentic.

932
00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:44,135
- He cares about people.
- That's right.

933
00:30:44,135 --> 00:30:46,221
I'm authentic.
I care about myself.

934
00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:48,014
- Oh my God.
- Yeah. And only yourself.

935
00:30:48,014 --> 00:30:51,142
There's an authenticity involved
in caring about oneself.

936
00:30:51,142 --> 00:30:52,769
- Oh my God.
- Jesus, man.

937
00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:53,937
SUSIE: Is that unbelievable?

938
00:30:53,937 --> 00:30:55,814
- Hey, you know what, Mr. Danson?
- TED: What?

939
00:30:55,814 --> 00:30:57,565
- I got one word to say to you.
- What?

940
00:30:58,149 --> 00:30:59,526
Sugar!

941
00:30:59,526 --> 00:31:00,902
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)

942
00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:02,570
- SUSIE: What does that mean?
- Yeah. I got it in two.

943
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:05,115
(GASPS) That's Wordle?
You gave away today's Wordle?

944
00:31:05,115 --> 00:31:07,117
I didn't do it yet,
you fucking piece of shit.

945
00:31:07,117 --> 00:31:09,035
You've crossed
the line now, mister.

946
00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:11,037
Take your crappy, mediocre gift

947
00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:12,414
and get the fuck out
of my house!

948
00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,124
'Cause I'm not going
to use that piece of shit.

949
00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:16,251
- Two, Larry. Got it in two.
- LARRY: You got it in two?

950
00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:19,879
Hey, I'll take my fantastic gift
that just healed an injury

951
00:31:19,879 --> 00:31:20,839
in one minute!

952
00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,466
And by the way,
you didn't get Wordle in two.

953
00:31:23,466 --> 00:31:24,676
You're full of shit.

954
00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:26,761
- Wordle in two. Right.
- CHERYL: He did.

955
00:31:26,761 --> 00:31:27,846
Ted is smart!

956
00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:29,806
Wait, let me say goodbye
to your stupid fucking dog.

957
00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:31,266
(ALL SHOUTING)

958
00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:32,851
- Do not touch the dog.
- SUSIE: Ever!

959
00:31:32,851 --> 00:31:35,478
My ass.
You never got anything in two!

960
00:31:35,478 --> 00:31:38,773
He didn't have a groin injury.
His groin is perfectly fine.

961
00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:41,443
- Oh. Hey, there's no charger.
- What? Just go!

962
00:31:41,443 --> 00:31:43,903
Let me tell you something,
and this goes for all of you.

963
00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:46,364
You're gonna be injured one day,
probably pretty soon.

964
00:31:46,364 --> 00:31:48,533
Don't ask to use my Theragun.
You're not getting it.

965
00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:50,577
- Just know that. Okay. Fine.
- SUSIE: Yeah, that's fine. Yeah.

966
00:31:50,577 --> 00:31:51,494
Go!

967
00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:53,163
- LARRY: Bye.
- SUSIE: And don't come back!

968
00:31:53,163 --> 00:31:56,249
♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

969
00:32:08,553 --> 00:32:10,472
- Hey. You want this?
- Uh-huh.

970
00:32:10,472 --> 00:32:11,473
LARRY: Yeah?

971
00:32:11,473 --> 00:32:13,558
No, no, no, don't get up!

972
00:32:13,558 --> 00:32:15,060
(GRUNTS)

973
00:32:19,356 --> 00:32:20,357
Fore.

974
00:32:22,359 --> 00:32:23,360
One!

975
00:32:24,486 --> 00:32:25,403
Sorry.

976
00:32:30,575 --> 00:32:31,576
(SIRENS WAIL ON TV)

977
00:32:31,576 --> 00:32:33,161
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

978
00:32:34,579 --> 00:32:36,956
Stop flip, flip, flip, flipping.
What are we gonna watch?

979
00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:39,000
Let's just make a decision,
you know?

980
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,127
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

981
00:32:42,253 --> 00:32:44,130
- Sienna Miller.
- IRMA: Who?

982
00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:45,256
LARRY: Sienna Miller.

983
00:32:45,256 --> 00:32:48,051
There's a documentary
I really wanna watch

984
00:32:48,051 --> 00:32:50,178
about endangered
Californian wildlife,

985
00:32:50,178 --> 00:32:52,931
- the San Diego fairy shrimp.
- LARRY: Just give me five...
I just wanna see five minutes.

986
00:32:52,931 --> 00:32:54,265
Five minutes.
I just wanna watch five minutes.

987
00:32:54,265 --> 00:32:55,934
Two minutes. Three minutes.

988
00:32:55,934 --> 00:32:58,144
- BEN AFFLECK: (ON TV) <i>Smile.
- I can't.</i>

989
00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,272
(IRMA SIGHS)

990
00:33:01,272 --> 00:33:04,734
IRMA: My hammer toe
is getting so bad.

991
00:33:04,734 --> 00:33:07,404
This, it kind of helps,
but I don't wanna have surgery.

992
00:33:07,404 --> 00:33:09,656
It's six weeks,
you gotta wear a boot.

993
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:10,990
<i>Because I love you.</i>

994
00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,618
IRMA: And it's time
to shave my corns again.

995
00:33:13,618 --> 00:33:17,163
My podiatrist, what an idiot.
Could you push that on for me?

996
00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:19,791
For God's sake,
protect my callus.

997
00:33:19,791 --> 00:33:21,042
It's so painful.

998
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:23,378
♪ (SAD MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

999
00:33:24,629 --> 00:33:26,131
Hi! You must be the Harringtons.

1000
00:33:26,131 --> 00:33:27,966
- Yes. I'm Lydia.
- RON HARRINGTON: I'm Ron.

1001
00:33:27,966 --> 00:33:29,300
- I'm Larry.
- RON: Larry, nice to meet you.

1002
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:30,427
LARRY: Hi. Nice to meet you.

1003
00:33:30,427 --> 00:33:31,886
- Come on in, please.
- Thank you.

1004
00:33:31,886 --> 00:33:33,221
Oh, it's pretty nasty out.

1005
00:33:33,221 --> 00:33:35,348
No, yeah,
it doesn't feel like L.A.

1006
00:33:35,348 --> 00:33:36,766
Oh, Leon!

1007
00:33:37,726 --> 00:33:39,644
Leon!

1008
00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:42,230
- Help yourself to some tea.
- Oh, thank you.

1009
00:33:42,230 --> 00:33:44,399
Very kind.
Thank you so much.

1010
00:33:44,399 --> 00:33:46,860
- This is really nice of you
to broker this for us, so...
- Yes.

1011
00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:48,278
Whatever I can do to help.

1012
00:33:48,278 --> 00:33:49,654
- (CHUCKLES)
- LYDIA HARRINGTON: Thank you.

1013
00:33:49,654 --> 00:33:50,655
Oh, there he is!

1014
00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:51,656
- RON: Yeah.
- LYDIA: Hi!

1015
00:33:51,656 --> 00:33:52,991
- This is Leon.
- LYDIA: Hi.

1016
00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:54,451
- I'm Lydia. Hi!
- LEON: Hey, Lydia.

1017
00:33:54,451 --> 00:33:55,994
Hey, Ron, how are you, Leon?
Nice to meet you.

1018
00:33:55,994 --> 00:33:57,203
- Mm. Lydia.
- Yeah.

1019
00:33:57,203 --> 00:33:59,205
That sounds sexy.
I love those one-syllable names.

1020
00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:01,374
Except Lydia
has three syllables.

1021
00:34:01,374 --> 00:34:03,668
- Not one.
- Now you're doing
fucking math right now?

1022
00:34:03,668 --> 00:34:05,211
I call her Dee sometimes,

1023
00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:07,005
- so that's one syllable.
- Hey, problem fucking solved.

1024
00:34:07,005 --> 00:34:08,214
(BOTH GIGGLE)

1025
00:34:08,214 --> 00:34:09,966
So you two are interested
in starting a family.

1026
00:34:09,966 --> 00:34:11,509
Well, we wanna
expand our family.

1027
00:34:11,509 --> 00:34:13,178
- We already have a little one.
- We have one.

1028
00:34:13,178 --> 00:34:15,347
- Dog. We have a small dog.
- Oh, you have a dog.

1029
00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:17,932
- Yeah. Yeah, Mabel.
- It's like she's a person.

1030
00:34:17,932 --> 00:34:19,768
She's not a person. She's a dog.

1031
00:34:19,768 --> 00:34:21,186
She's very much like
a little person.

1032
00:34:21,186 --> 00:34:23,021
And what can she do that
a person does?

1033
00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:25,523
What Larry's saying is that
a dog cannot be a person

1034
00:34:25,523 --> 00:34:26,983
'cause a dog can't do
what people do.

1035
00:34:26,983 --> 00:34:29,194
Now, people can do
dog-like shit.

1036
00:34:29,194 --> 00:34:30,945
Like, a contortionist
in the circus?

1037
00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:32,364
This motherfucker
can bend his body up

1038
00:34:32,364 --> 00:34:34,157
and lick his own balls
if he wanted to.

1039
00:34:34,157 --> 00:34:36,201
Do you think that motherfucker
can't lick his own nuts?

1040
00:34:36,201 --> 00:34:37,327
Of course he can.

1041
00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,411
- Y-- yeah. I--
- Yeah.

1042
00:34:38,411 --> 00:34:39,954
Can you excuse us
for one second?

1043
00:34:39,954 --> 00:34:41,873
Of course.

1044
00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:43,500
LARRY:
If you wanna fuck this woman,

1045
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,001
I suggest you shut up,

1046
00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:47,045
because every time
you open your mouth,

1047
00:34:47,045 --> 00:34:48,546
you're hurting your chances.

1048
00:34:48,546 --> 00:34:50,006
Let me tell you
something right now.

1049
00:34:50,006 --> 00:34:51,925
I'm the dick salesman
right now, right?

1050
00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:54,010
My dick is on the market, okay?

1051
00:34:54,010 --> 00:34:55,720
Let me sell
this motherfucking car.

1052
00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:57,055
Okay? (CLEARS THROAT)

1053
00:34:57,055 --> 00:34:59,224
Well, Leon, thank you
so much for doing this.

1054
00:34:59,224 --> 00:35:00,975
- Yeah.
- We are so excited.

1055
00:35:00,975 --> 00:35:04,396
Thank you for giving my dick
the opportunity to serve you.

1056
00:35:04,396 --> 00:35:06,648
- RON: So, we have a window here.
- I'm ovulating.

1057
00:35:06,648 --> 00:35:08,233
Yeah, so if you have
any questions for us...

1058
00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:10,026
- LYDIA: Please!
- Do you guys want a girl?

1059
00:35:10,026 --> 00:35:11,194
'Cause if you do,

1060
00:35:11,194 --> 00:35:12,737
I'ma have to start eating
a lot of mustard.

1061
00:35:12,737 --> 00:35:13,988
- Oh, um...
- RON: Well...

1062
00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:15,615
My fucking sperm is strong.

1063
00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:16,991
That little motherfucker
gonna come out

1064
00:35:16,991 --> 00:35:19,077
with a mustache and bad credit.

1065
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:21,746
I would be remiss
if I didn't tell you

1066
00:35:21,746 --> 00:35:24,082
that my IQ is 152.

1067
00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:26,251
- 152?
- And...

1068
00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:28,128
my mother was Miss Bensonhurst.

1069
00:35:28,128 --> 00:35:29,587
That's very impressive, Larry,

1070
00:35:29,587 --> 00:35:31,089
but your services
won't be necessary.

1071
00:35:31,089 --> 00:35:32,424
Uh-uh, just FYI,

1072
00:35:32,424 --> 00:35:34,009
I don't know if
you guys ever heard of

1073
00:35:34,009 --> 00:35:35,593
the Big Johnson community.

1074
00:35:35,593 --> 00:35:36,636
LARRY: All right!

1075
00:35:36,636 --> 00:35:38,054
- LEON: It's a bunch of--
- I think we're good here.

1076
00:35:38,054 --> 00:35:39,431
Thank you so much, Leon.

1077
00:35:39,431 --> 00:35:40,890
All right, well, so long!

1078
00:35:40,890 --> 00:35:42,600
- Nice meeting you.
- Lovely to meet you.

1079
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,977
- Can I give you a little tip?
- LYDIA: Yeah.

1080
00:35:43,977 --> 00:35:45,061
Keep those eyes closed.

1081
00:35:45,061 --> 00:35:47,939
- Thank you. Bye.
- (LEON GIGGLES)

1082
00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:49,441
Well, we gotta get
home to Mabel,

1083
00:35:49,441 --> 00:35:51,192
but I have your number,
and I'll see you tomorrow.

1084
00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:52,360
- Give me a call.
- LYDIA: Yeah.

1085
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:53,945
And you get some sleep.
You're gonna need it.

1086
00:35:53,945 --> 00:35:55,905
- Oh, okay.
- Tap that ass tomorrow.

1087
00:35:55,905 --> 00:35:57,032
- Thank you. Thank you.
- (LAUGHS)

1088
00:35:57,032 --> 00:35:57,991
No masturbating.

1089
00:35:57,991 --> 00:36:00,452
- Hey, you neither.
- Okay.

1090
00:36:00,452 --> 00:36:02,078
- LARRY: No masturbating.
- LEON: Yeah.

1091
00:36:02,078 --> 00:36:04,456
- (PHONE DINGS)
- Fuck is she, the cum police?

1092
00:36:04,456 --> 00:36:06,791
LARRY: "Mr. Takahashi
would like to see you

1093
00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:08,084
in his office tomorrow."

1094
00:36:08,084 --> 00:36:09,919
- Oh, shit.
- Uh-oh.

1095
00:36:09,919 --> 00:36:10,920
LARRY: You know what that means?

1096
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,297
I'm gonna get kicked out
of the club.

1097
00:36:12,297 --> 00:36:14,299
- This is it.
- Yeah, you fucked up.

1098
00:36:14,799 --> 00:36:15,884
Oh, there's Duane.

1099
00:36:15,884 --> 00:36:18,678
♪ (MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

1100
00:36:22,265 --> 00:36:23,975
DUANE: Booker, let's go.
Come on.

1101
00:36:25,101 --> 00:36:26,895
Motherfucker ain't even
nod his head.

1102
00:36:26,895 --> 00:36:28,521
This fucking guy.

1103
00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:30,648
- What's his problem?
- (GASPS)

1104
00:36:33,485 --> 00:36:36,488
♪ (MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC
CONTINUES) ♪

1105
00:36:38,907 --> 00:36:40,825
TAKAHASHI: Come in!

1106
00:36:40,825 --> 00:36:44,037
- You are in big trouble.
- Oh.

1107
00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:46,498
I hear you no longer
the funny guy.

1108
00:36:46,498 --> 00:36:47,332
LARRY: Oh!

1109
00:36:47,332 --> 00:36:50,335
You are the cheap
and violent guy.

1110
00:36:50,335 --> 00:36:53,838
First, you hit
Academy Award winner Troy

1111
00:36:53,838 --> 00:36:55,298
- with golf ball.
- Uh-huh.

1112
00:36:55,298 --> 00:36:57,300
And then, you hit him
with bagel!

1113
00:36:57,300 --> 00:36:58,968
What do you have to say
for yourself?

1114
00:36:58,968 --> 00:37:00,345
Okay.

1115
00:37:00,345 --> 00:37:02,180
First of all, the night before

1116
00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:03,556
I didn't have
a very good night's sleep.

1117
00:37:03,556 --> 00:37:05,433
- (GROANS)
- I'm dreaming I'm in a fish tank

1118
00:37:05,433 --> 00:37:07,185
with a lot of little
guppies around me and...

1119
00:37:07,185 --> 00:37:08,937
and goldfish,
and they're all pecking at me.

1120
00:37:08,937 --> 00:37:11,898
Pecking, pecking, pecking.
They weren't hurting me.

1121
00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:14,025
- (GROANS)
- LARRY: And then in the morning,
I'm going,

1122
00:37:14,025 --> 00:37:15,318
"I wonder why I had that dream."

1123
00:37:15,318 --> 00:37:18,238
Is it because I said
I don't really like salmon?

1124
00:37:18,238 --> 00:37:19,614
I never said anything else
about fish.

1125
00:37:19,614 --> 00:37:22,117
- (GROANING)
- LARRY: And so, I'm exhausted.

1126
00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:24,160
And I go to the driving range
that morning,

1127
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,495
and I'm sitting on the bench.

1128
00:37:25,495 --> 00:37:26,830
- (GROANS)
- LARRY: I'm thinking about

1129
00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:28,039
what I'm gonna
have for lunch.

1130
00:37:28,039 --> 00:37:29,290
I'm not gonna have fish,
I know that.

1131
00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,251
Then I hear Jimmy.
He's giving a lesson.

1132
00:37:31,251 --> 00:37:32,961
Vertical drop, horizontal tug.

1133
00:37:32,961 --> 00:37:35,130
Okay! Okay! Okay!
Stop! No more!

1134
00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:36,673
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

1135
00:37:36,673 --> 00:37:39,592
- What's that?
- (SPEAKING JAPANESE)

1136
00:37:39,592 --> 00:37:42,095
- Get out!
- LARRY: Ah! Can do, Mr. T.

1137
00:37:42,095 --> 00:37:43,888
- Got it.
- TAKAHASHI: Go away!

1138
00:37:43,888 --> 00:37:44,681
I don't want to see you.

1139
00:37:44,681 --> 00:37:46,057
I don't wanna see
any part of you.

1140
00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:47,642
- Go!
<i>- Arigato.</i>

1141
00:37:49,019 --> 00:37:50,103
<i>Baka!</i>

1142
00:37:50,103 --> 00:37:52,689
(SHUDDERS)

1143
00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:54,733
(LEON AND LYDIA MOANING)

1144
00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:57,736
- (LEON MOANS) Yeah!
- (LYDIA MOANS)

1145
00:37:59,654 --> 00:38:02,073
- (HOWLING)
- (MOANING STOPS)

1146
00:38:02,073 --> 00:38:03,241
LYDIA: What was that?

1147
00:38:03,241 --> 00:38:04,743
- Was that a coyote?
- (LEON GROANS)

1148
00:38:04,743 --> 00:38:06,202
(DOG WHIMPERING)

1149
00:38:06,202 --> 00:38:08,246
LYDIA: Mabel?
Did you hear a dog?

1150
00:38:08,246 --> 00:38:09,789
LEON: I didn't hear shit.

1151
00:38:09,789 --> 00:38:11,708
(MOANING CONTINUES)

1152
00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:14,753
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

1153
00:39:19,109 --> 00:39:20,985
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪