1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:09,134 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,888 That's a long flight, man. 3 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:15,432 Long flight. Yeah. 4 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,349 - Whew! - Brutal. 5 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,435 Hey, Larry, I see you. 6 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,811 Keep fighting for us. 7 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,688 Okay. 8 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,356 - Huh? How 'bout that? - Hero. 9 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,233 My people showing you fucking love, Larry. 10 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,777 Larry David? 11 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,447 Oh my God, it's Larry David! 12 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,991 - Sorry, I'm Sienna Miller. - Yeah, I know. 13 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,117 I can't believe I'm seeing you. 14 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,452 I've just been watching you on the news. 15 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,746 How crazy is this, right? It's crazy. 16 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,913 So insane. 17 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:41,166 Well, thank you, on behalf of everybody who has a heart. 18 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,709 Hey, Larry! Good job! 19 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,002 Hey! 20 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,838 Anyway, I cannot believe that I've bumped into you. 21 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,048 It's bashert. 22 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,674 Bashert. 23 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,760 - Where'd you get that from? - Pretty good, huh? 24 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,887 Yeah, pretty good. 25 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,472 - Bye, Larry. - Bye. 26 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,681 Keep in touch. 27 00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:58,350 Oh! 28 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,686 ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 29 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,397 Keep in touch? 30 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,358 You saw that? Sienna Miller, she was flirting with me, 31 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,318 - was she not? Huh? - Saw that shit. Yup. 32 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,028 This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, 33 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,405 but because of Irma, there's nothing I can do. 34 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,532 - Yeah. - It's such a waste, really. 35 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,534 Yup. - Sienna Miller, my God. 36 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,913 - How's that bagel? - Fucking great, man. 37 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,873 You know what? I'm not gonna eat this. 38 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,458 Hmm. 39 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,335 Think I'll give it to that guy. What do you think? 40 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,837 If it's in your heart, you do it. 41 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,381 Hey, you want a bagel? 42 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:31,883 Yeah. 43 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,555 No! No, no, no, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop! 44 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,557 Thanks, man. 45 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,269 ♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 46 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,569 - Fluke! - Oh my God. 47 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,238 It's fluke! - What are you doing? 48 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,989 - What's the matter with you? - I got "fluke" in three. 49 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,282 What are you shouting it out for? 50 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,118 - I'm a genius. It's a talent. - Fluke? Who does that? 51 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,577 It's so rude. It's so disrespectful. 52 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,162 It's like sneezing in someone's face. 53 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,414 You just ruined our day. 54 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,582 - I'm going to an AA meeting. - This is crazy. 55 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:05,875 No, you would never have gotten it. 56 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,044 - I would've got it. - I had to help you with "vulva," 57 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,254 - remember? - I know vulva. 58 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,755 Uh-huh. - That's a great car. 59 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:11,923 No, it's not a car. 60 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,174 It's one of the safest cars out there. 61 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,342 You never would've gotten fluke. 62 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,885 Hey, don't do that again. 63 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,262 You never would've gotten it. 64 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,097 I would've got it. Oh, get over it! 65 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,016 Such a shitty thing to do. 66 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,018 She's something else, man. Yeah. 67 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,937 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 68 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,357 What the hell? Come on! 69 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,650 I just saw your balls! 70 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,778 They're hanging out with those shorts! What is that? 71 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,488 Just swivel back. Swivel back. 72 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,615 Oh my God. What's with those shorts? 73 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,492 What is it about my balls that bother you like this? 74 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,578 Everything. Balls are disgusting. They're hideous. 75 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,246 It's like the elephant man under your penis. 76 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,290 I think the brain and the balls are related. 77 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,209 If you take a magnifying glass and you put it on your balls, 78 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,545 it's the same pattern as the brain. 79 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,839 That's why people say you're thinking with your dick. 80 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,257 You know, 81 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,801 every now and then you say something so stupid, 82 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,220 - but it actually makes sense. - Of course it makes sense. 83 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,680 All right, I'm getting out of here. 84 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,473 Where you going at? 85 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,974 You know Duane Tubman next door? 86 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,142 Yeah, yeah, Tubman. 87 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,602 His father just died. 88 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020 Oh. 89 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,772 Hey, you give him my deepest condolences. 90 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,107 I don't know, I feel like I should go over 91 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,484 and pay my respects or something. 92 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,943 You know, it always helps to be 93 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:14,986 on good terms with your neighbor. 94 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,404 That's right. 95 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,615 All right, okay. You know what? I just got another glimpse. 96 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,825 Honestly, that one was on purpose! 97 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,786 ♪ (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 98 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,339 Uh, very... yeah. 99 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,341 Uh, so... yeah. Sorry. 100 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,010 Ah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. 101 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,471 Sorry. Sorry. So sorry. 102 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,098 - Hey. - Oh. 103 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,391 Larry, thank you so much for coming. 104 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,685 Of course. Hey, this is what neighbors do, right? 105 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,228 We have each other's backs. Come on. 106 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,521 Yeah. By the way, I was really touched 107 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,940 - by what you did in Atlanta. - You know what? 108 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,818 Coming from a Tubman, I take that as a great compliment. 109 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:56,695 Okay. 110 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:59,406 Anyway, very sorry to hear about your father. 111 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,950 Thank you. Well, father-in-law, but thank you. 112 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,452 Ah. Really? 113 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,371 Yeah. - I thought it was your father. 114 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,706 No, it's Lorraine's. 115 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,874 - Father-in-law? - Yeah. 116 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,084 All right. Yes. 117 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,794 Well, that's, you know... That's a... 118 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,754 That's a little better. 119 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,382 Well, it's my father-in-law. It's a loss. 120 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,718 Duane, of course it's a loss, but... 121 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,095 - You know, it's not your dad. - Larry, it's a human being. 122 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,513 Yeah, yeah, of course. I know that. 123 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,223 I'm just trying to delineate the differences 124 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,850 between a father and a father-in-law. 125 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,728 - It's a very sad thing. - Terrible loss for your wife, 126 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,396 but... 127 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,482 - Your dad's still alive? - Yeah. 128 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,776 - Oh, well, there you go. - Yeah, that's a gift. 129 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,903 Yeah. And you know, it's like if you have a dog 130 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,448 - and your dog dies, and then... - I'm sorry, did you say a dog? 131 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,324 Yeah, a dog. Okay, say your dog dies, 132 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,493 that's one thing. That's-- that's terrible. 133 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,455 But if your friend's dog dies, it's not quite the same. 134 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,206 - Okay. - But anyway, 135 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,335 is your wife around? Lorraine? Is she here? Can I talk to her? 136 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,878 - Maybe we just let her rest. - Okay. 137 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,422 Will you tell her how sorry I am about her dad? 138 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,632 Are you? Because it doesn't really sound like it. 139 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,760 Between you and me, my condolences 140 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,804 aren't quite as deep as the average person's. 141 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,431 I'm picking that up. 142 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,100 Yeah, it's like people telling each other they love them. That kind of thing. 143 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,602 "Sorry" is in that kind of category. 144 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,312 "I'm sorry." "I love you." They're the same. Okay. 145 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,938 They're interchangeable, really. Nobody means it. 146 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,274 -"I love you." Oh. - Nobody means it? 147 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,484 - No. - Of course people mean it. 148 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,777 Nah, nobody means it. 149 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,613 But, um, anyway, are you sure Lorraine's not around? 150 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:22,614 I'm positive. 151 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,782 Got enough food and everything? 152 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,450 Can I get you some bagels and, uh, and lox? 153 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,785 No, I think we're good. 154 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,453 - Do you like a bagel? - There are a lot of people here. 155 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,330 - Ah. - So I'm gonna... 156 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,082 - I'm picking up on that cue. - Yeah. 157 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,833 Of course. Of course. 158 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,920 Actually, Larry, um, there's one thing. 159 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,546 I wanted to talk to you about the lemon tree. 160 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,714 The lemon tree? Yeah. 161 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,299 Along the fence. It's back there. 162 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,385 - It's given us so many lemons over the years. - Oh, the one that hangs 163 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,470 - over my yard and... yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 164 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,389 The roots, they're damaging my pipes, 165 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,474 so we gotta do something about this tree. 166 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,434 Don't worry about the research. I'll look into it. 167 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,977 I'll get an estimate, we'll sit down, 168 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:53,853 and we'll split the cost 169 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,230 of the tree maintenance... 170 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,523 ...and we can keep enjoying these lemons. 171 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,192 Split the cost of the tree? 172 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,278 Duane. I mean, you know, come on. 173 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,738 It's your tree. It's on your side. 174 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:04,656 It's our tree. 175 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,491 - It's not our tree. - Let me get this right. 176 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,827 So it's... it's our tree when you want lemons, 177 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,579 and it's my tree when we have to take care of it and maintain it. 178 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,206 I want some lemons? I don't want lemons. 179 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,666 You think I need lemons in my life? 180 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,793 I can go the rest of my life without touching a lemon. 181 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,711 No lemons for life. 182 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,962 I put it on a piece of fish occasionally. 183 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,380 What're you gonna substitute for lemons? 184 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,007 - A grapefruit. - A grapefruit? 185 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,758 - Yeah. - You're gonna put grapefruit on fish? 186 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,301 Yeah, I've put grapefruits on fish. 187 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,511 When? 188 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,054 Okay, I haven't actually put it on, 189 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,180 but I've thought about it. 190 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,515 - Really? - Yeah. 191 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:33,643 My point is lemons are a fungible citrus. 192 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:36,104 Just look around the room. Okay? We've suffered a loss. 193 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,397 Eh, you lost your father-in-law. 194 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,315 I'd appreciate you stepping up 195 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,859 and being a neighbor and paying for half 196 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,235 - of this tree maintenance. - Sure, yeah. 197 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,862 - Thank you for coming out. - Hm. 198 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:45,613 Alright. 199 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:48,033 ♪ (BROODING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 200 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,454 Had I known that it was his father-in-law, 201 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,330 I never would've gone to the house in the first place. 202 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,832 No. And this lemon thing. 203 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,959 By the way, you know, he's a descendant of Harriet Tubman. 204 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,878 Well, you'd think his ancestors would be ashamed of him 205 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,546 that he would come after you for something like that. 206 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,506 You know, the lemons drop, what am I supposed to do? 207 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,883 - Right! - Throw 'em back over the fence? 208 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,593 This person's a Tubman in name only. 209 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,219 You know what? Maybe he's not even a Tubman. 210 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,888 'Cause I can't imagine a Tubman 211 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:10,722 behaving like this. 212 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,016 You know the cruel irony of this, right? 213 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:13,892 You're being railroaded. 214 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,226 Oh my God. 215 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,561 - It's nuts! - Hello! 216 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,646 - Hey! - Hi. Sorry we're late. 217 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,106 - Hey! - Hey. Hi. 218 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,399 Susie, we have something for you. 219 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:22,692 What? What? What is it? 220 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,902 Since you were away on your birthday. 221 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,612 Now? You want me to open it now? 222 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,030 - Are you ready? - Yeah. 223 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,198 Hey, hey, wait a second. 224 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,200 We-- No, no, there's other-- there's other presents here. 225 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,410 - I know, but this is really important. - No, you'll understand. 226 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,536 This'll make sense in one minute. 227 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,579 That's not fair. 228 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,081 - I'm scared, what is it? - Happy birthday. 229 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,375 Oh my God! 230 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,168 Oh, wow. Yes. 231 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,629 Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen, Susie? 232 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,255 Oh, he's beautiful. 233 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,674 Susie, he loves you! 234 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,051 - Yes! Oh my God! - Beautiful. Beautiful. 235 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,594 This is the best birthday present 236 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,179 I've ever got. I love you two. 237 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,473 - Oh, we love you, too. - You're the greatest friends. 238 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,602 You know, uh, we have a present, too. 239 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,812 We have something, too. 240 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,731 - Thank you so much. What is it? - Well, look. 241 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,983 - What is that? - A Theragun. 242 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,569 - What's that? - Larry got it for you. 243 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,946 - Oh, yeah. - Thank you, Larr. 244 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,407 - Theraguns, they're great. - You ever use one of these? 245 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,492 No, I haven't. 246 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,160 They're good for your health. 247 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,495 Good, I look forward to it. 248 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,913 That's a hell of a gift, by the way. 249 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,790 I'm gonna go get him some water. He's probably thirsty. 250 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,458 Yeah. - He's been in that box. 251 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,211 I'd like a Theragun. 252 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,299 So food good? Everybody happy? 253 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,718 Oh, the food is amazing, as always. 254 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,511 Freddy, you're not... you're not vegan now, right? 255 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,054 No, no, I like the chicken. 256 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,889 - 'Cause you're looking fantastic. - That's so nice of you to say. 257 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,308 Really, it's just been a little bit of SoulCycle, some walking, 258 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,811 and I've been having a lot of sex with my neighbor's wife. 259 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,396 - Whoa! - What? 260 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,439 Come on. 261 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,025 Yes. My neighbors, the Harringtons, Lydia and Ron. 262 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,651 She wants to have a baby. 263 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,696 Turns out Ron is not capable. She can't get pregnant. 264 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,656 Blanks. Shooting blanks. Right. 265 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,408 So they say, "Freddy, we would love it 266 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,285 if you could get Lydia pregnant." 267 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,580 - Wow! - Hold on. Hold on. 268 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,373 That's crazy. Come on. 269 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,958 They think the baby's gonna be healthier 270 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,669 if there's really a connection that happens during intercourse. 271 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,837 I can't even believe it. 272 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,921 This gets weirder. What? 273 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,007 So I say, "Yes." They say, "Terrific. 274 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,926 How's tonight work? She's ovulating tonight." 275 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,012 And what they say to me is, "Here's how it's gonna work." 276 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,930 'Cause there's rules. They want boundaries. 277 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,099 Keep it kind of clinical. But guess what happens? 278 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,768 - What happens? - When the shit gets lit up, 279 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,019 there's no goddamn rules. 280 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,520 You know what I mean? 281 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,439 She comes in the door, and it's on. 282 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,690 Wow. 283 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,400 I mean, we do it at my house on the Funk-O-Matic. 284 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,610 Oh, wow. 285 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,695 We're biting butts. We're-- we're biting ears. 286 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,030 This is fucking crazy. 287 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,074 It's some of the best sex I've ever had in my life. 288 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,075 And she loves her husband? 289 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,868 She's 100 percent in love with her husband. 290 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,495 Do you give her a climax? 291 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,080 - Well, I don't know. - How would you not know? 292 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,790 I don't ask. Do you smell musk? 293 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,876 The sex musk you release is great for conception. 294 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,712 I release a lot of sex musk. Don't I, Larry? 295 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,880 I mean-- 296 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,548 Oh, puppy! 297 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,841 ♪ Puppy ♪ 298 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,259 Oh, puppy. Where's my little boy? 299 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,929 I'm gonna make a toast here. I don't mind, I have a mocktail. 300 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,013 - Sure. - Okay. 301 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,390 Because I'm sober. 302 00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,724 - And cheers to that. - Cheers to that. 303 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,226 You want a sip? You want a sip? 304 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,896 That's very funny. Very funny. Aww... 305 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,981 Oh my goodness. 306 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,484 Okay, so I decided what we're gonna name him. 307 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,568 What's that? Yeah? 308 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,487 - Frankie, after Sinatra. - Oh, that's cute. 309 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,698 - That's a boy? - It's a little boy. 310 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,867 I gotta say, for a male dog, it looks a tad effeminate. 311 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,160 Oh my God. Come on. 312 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,037 I think you better get that dog a pronoun. 313 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,081 Larry. - ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 314 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,625 Okay, Troy, three steps we're gonna work on. 315 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,003 First, rotation on the backswing. 316 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:31,673 Back to the target. Beautiful. Okay. That's the first piece. 317 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,551 Second piece, same rotation, that backswing. 318 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,761 Okay, up to the top and stop. 319 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,264 Nice. Okay, now here's the master move, okay? 320 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:44,102 Next piece, from there, we go vertical drop. Okay? 321 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,187 Horizontal tug. Nice. 322 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,731 Can you feel it with the obliques there? 323 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,940 One more time. 324 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,900 Up to the top. Feel the rotation. 325 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,694 Vertical drop. 326 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,699 Horizontal tug. 327 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,120 Hey. Can I help you? 328 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,122 Nah, I'm good. 329 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:07,042 Okay, uh, got a... private lesson with Troy here. 330 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,001 Yeah, yeah. Go. 331 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,502 Hey, look, if you wanna book a lesson, 332 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,712 just call the golf shop. 333 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,672 They'll be happy to set something up for you. 334 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,132 Nah, I'm good. I'm just sitting here. 335 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,633 Well, it didn't look like you were just sitting. 336 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,677 I saw the vertical drop, horizontal tug. 337 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,929 There's a bench here. I'm allowed to sit on a bench. 338 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,806 - It's not that kind of bench. - What kind of bench is it? 339 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,641 It's not a lingering bench, okay? 340 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,809 It's-- it's an aesthetic bench. Okay? 341 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,977 An aesthetic bench? - Yeah. 342 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,437 No. Benches are for sitting. 343 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,481 Okay. We're gonna get back to the lesson, if you don't mind. 344 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,690 Please. Let's try it again. 345 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,025 The rotation. 346 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,486 Okay, stay in your spine angle. Now vertical drop, 347 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:35,987 horizontal tug. Yeah, there it is. 348 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,615 Okay, let's try one. Altogether, one piece. 349 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,034 ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 350 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,130 I did Wordle again today. 351 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,508 I'm a Wordle wizard, man. I did it in three tries. 352 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,176 - Really? - Three days in a row, man. 353 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,011 Wow, you're really on a good streak. 354 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,013 I'm on a huge streak. That's right. 355 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,557 All right, let's see if I can continue my streak. 356 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,809 I know. You've been unbelievable. 357 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,602 What is this all about? How are you doing this? 358 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,355 You know why? I sat on a bench this morning 359 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,731 and overheard a lesson. 360 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,483 I've had thousands of hours of lessons. 361 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,403 Two minutes on that bench. This guy changed my life. 362 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,445 What kind of tips? 363 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,738 - Vertical drop... - Yeah. 364 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,823 Horizontal tug! 365 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,075 - Horizontal tug? - Vertical drop, 366 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,159 horizontal tug! 367 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,495 Now, I've dropped before, but I've never tugged! 368 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,496 And now I'm tugging! 369 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,872 - Maybe I should tug. - You gotta tug! 370 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,125 - Can you teach me how to tug? - I'll teach you how to tug! 371 00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:30,959 This is fantastic. 372 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,293 - Can I tell you something? - Sure. 373 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,212 I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life! 374 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,880 I don't even know who I'm looking at right now. 375 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,757 How is something good happening to me? 376 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,467 No one on the planet would believe that you're happy. 377 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,761 - How is this possible? - Well, I have better news for you. 378 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,971 I'm leaving you in my will. 379 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,389 I'm tweaking it, and you're in it. 380 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,598 No, no, no, don't do that. 381 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,891 It's done. You're in. 382 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,810 I don't wanna be in. I have money. I don't need it. 383 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,228 Give it to someone who needs it. 384 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,063 When I die, I want you to know how much I cared about you. 385 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,898 I'm not gonna keep it. I'm gonna give it to charity. 386 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,233 You're my best friend. You're getting it. 387 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,901 No, I'm making a Shermanesque statement 388 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,069 about the will right now. 389 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,904 I'm sick of your historical references. 390 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,656 If nominated, I will not run. 391 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,199 If bequeathed, I will not accept. 392 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,076 - Well, I'm bequeathing. - Well, I'm not accepting. 393 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,911 - Well, you'll have to accept. - Don't give it to me! 394 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:07,996 Don't hurt my feelings. 395 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,289 I'm not gonna keep a penny of it. 396 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,124 - You're hurting me. - Thank you, but I don't want it. 397 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,876 I'm giving it to you anyway, pal. 398 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,544 Oh my God. Fuck you! 399 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,134 What are you doing? 400 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,887 What do you mean? I'm waiting. For what? 401 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,764 Troy and Jimmy are on the fairway. 402 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:26,931 You're never gonna hit them. 403 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,266 You don't think I could hit them? 404 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:31,311 No! You've never hit the ball that far in your life. 405 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,395 Come on. 406 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,563 Really? Yeah. 407 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,523 You're never gonna hit it that far. What are you, nuts? 408 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,900 All right, shut up. 409 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,401 No, you shut up. 410 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,074 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 411 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,664 - Holy shit! - You hit him. 412 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,499 I hit him! 413 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,584 Troy, you okay? 414 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,127 - Oh my God! - How did you do that? 415 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,088 Hey! What the fuck? 416 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,465 I-- I-- I told you I shouldn't have fucking-- 417 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,508 Hey! Larry! 418 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,469 Oh! Oh, no! 419 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,845 Hey, Troy, are you okay? 420 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,681 Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. Take it easy. 421 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,767 Oh my God. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. 422 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,102 What in the hell? 423 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,479 I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry. 424 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,605 Why didn't you yell "fore"? 425 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,149 Well, I couldn't yell "fore." I mean, he can't hear. 426 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,318 And what would be the point? I waved. 427 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,486 I did a lot of waving. 428 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,446 When you talk, the interpreter can hear you. 429 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,490 I know, but he was too far. He was in the car. 430 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,242 I could've grabbed him! We could have ran to the trees! 431 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:28,910 There was no time! The ball was coming down! 432 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,578 There's plenty of time! You yell "fore" when you hit it. 433 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,455 Superman couldn't get there in time to stop that. 434 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,457 You should've waited till we were in the clear! Why didn't you wait? 435 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,167 Because then the guys I was playing with, 436 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,585 they said, "Oh, go, go, go." 437 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,754 They embarrassed me. They said, "Oh, you can never hit him." 438 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,007 Did you do the vertical drop, horizontal tug? 439 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,174 Yeah, I did it. I did it. 440 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,759 I did the vertical drop and the horizontal tug. 441 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,136 And you know what? It really worked. 442 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,179 Look how far I hit the ball. I couldn't even believe it. 443 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,348 I'm watching you. Watching me? 444 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,183 Really? There's not much to watch, honestly. 445 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,977 I mean, I don't really go anywhere. 446 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,353 I'm home most of the time. 447 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,189 I'll do a crossword puzzle. Sometimes I'll go out to dinner. 448 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,567 I hate my life. You don't wanna witness it. 449 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,194 You're a real asshole. 450 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,030 You know what? I am so deeply 451 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,906 and profoundly sorry for what happened. 452 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,034 I really wanna make it up to you somehow. 453 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,202 Let me get you a Postmates dinner. 454 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:14,039 I'll send one to your house. Would you like that? 455 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,874 There's some very good restaurants on Postmates. 456 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,208 I'll have it delivered right to your door! 457 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,252 So, you don't want a Post-- Hey, what did you do? 458 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,129 - Did you tell him what I just said? - Everything. 459 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,839 - You tell him about the Postmates dinner? - I did. 460 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,299 What'd you tell him? You just went like this. 461 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,009 - You didn't do anything. - That's the sign for "Postmates dinner." 462 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,635 - It took two seconds. - I'm good! 463 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,971 Oh, you didn't tell him about the Postmates dinner. Don't bullshit me. 464 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,514 Why didn't you tell him about the Postmates dinner? 465 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,391 I told him. - That's a very nice gesture! 466 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,561 Deeply and profoundly sorry, and you offer him Postmates? 467 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,188 You know he didn't tell him about the Postmates! 468 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,482 - He did. He told him. - By the way, where's my ball? 469 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,691 I don't know. 470 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:42,776 You don't know? - I don't know. 471 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,860 What do you mean, you don't know? 472 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,111 It hit him in the back right over here! 473 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,905 - It's up your ass, Larry! - Where's the ball? 474 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,114 - It's gone! - You took my ball? 475 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,699 Go back to the tee, hit another ball! 476 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,659 You took my ball? - Go back to the tee, hit another ball! 477 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,078 Two stroke penalty! 478 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,829 You know what? I'm gonna just drop it over here, that's all. 479 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,414 I'll drop it where the body was. Right here. 480 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,457 That's in the rules. 481 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,125 I'm not gonna take a penalty, I'll tell you that. 482 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,127 I'm not taking a penalty. I hit the ball over here. 483 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,754 I hit one of the great shots of my life. 484 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,464 I'm playing from here. 485 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,467 Oh! They threw my ball away. I gotta take a drop. 486 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,136 - No, no. No dropping, man. - You can't take a drop. 487 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,930 What are you talking about? They threw my ball away. 488 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,598 - You hit somebody! - That's right! 489 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,351 He's fine! He's okay. Listen, I'm dropping a ball. 490 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,186 Not on our watch you're dropping a ball. 491 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,813 I'm not going back to the tee! 492 00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:30,407 - What the fuck was that? - Holy shit. 493 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,244 It sounds like a coyote. 494 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,621 It is a coyote. They're killers, man. 495 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,415 Sounds like he's eating a dog. 496 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,625 Jeff, don't you live around there? 497 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,960 That is my house. 498 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,129 Oh my God! 499 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,172 That could be my puppy! 500 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,303 You know what, Larr? I gotta go home. 501 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,430 Huh? What? 502 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:56,016 - That could be my dog! - Does your neighbor have a dog? 503 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,392 Yeah, there's a few dogs around. 504 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,686 All right, so it might be one of your neighbors' dogs. 505 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,521 Uh, that sounded like a puppy. 506 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,605 I mean... 507 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,691 If he's eaten, there's nothing you can do about it. 508 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,692 And if he's dead, 509 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,068 what are you gonna do, sit shiva? 510 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,279 Yeah. Can't bring the dog back to life. 511 00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,989 We're talking about a puppy! 512 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,991 Yeah, I know, but we're on the golf course, 513 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,035 we're having a nice day. You'll see it later. 514 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,453 He's right, man. You know he's right. 515 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,121 And if it's not, there's nothing to be gained by going home. 516 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,581 Let's just play. 517 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,458 You know what? You're right. 518 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:24,836 Either my puppy's dead, or it's a neighbor's dog. 519 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,212 Nothing you could do either way. 520 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,881 All right, I'll play. 521 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,132 Well, all right. Well, I'm dropping. 522 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,633 - You're not dropping. - Can't drop. 523 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,052 I'm dropping. You're not dropping. 524 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,887 - Oh, I'm dropping. - You are not dropping the ball! 525 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,013 Fuck you! I'm dropping the ball. 526 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,598 - You are not dropping the ball! - Fuck you! 527 00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:37,682 You're a cheater! 528 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,267 No, you're a cheater. You're a cheater! 529 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,102 You're a cheater! You're a cheater! 530 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,146 You're a cheater! Cheater! 531 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,982 How 'bout the drive on 15? 532 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,401 - Oh, that was, uh... - What about that, huh? 533 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,320 ♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 534 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,030 - Oh, Frankie! - Oh-ho! 535 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,824 Wow! Look at this! Wow! Baby. 536 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,159 Oh, God. What? 537 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,370 - Oh! He's alive! - Frankie's alive. 538 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,163 Of course he's alive. Why would he not be alive? 539 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,206 You don't understand. 540 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,957 We're having the game of our lives... 541 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,876 - Yeah. - ...and we hear a coyote 542 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,294 and then a yelp. 543 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,505 We heard a coyote. It was crazy. 544 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,215 We thought the coyote ate the dog! 545 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,133 Oh my God. You thought it was Frankie? 546 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,135 Yeah! - So what did you do? 547 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:19,224 Wh-- what? Did-- 548 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,685 What, you-- you-- you continued to play? 549 00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:22,644 Yeah. 550 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,564 You didn't quit and come to see if he was okay? 551 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,484 We just assumed that, you know, he was... 552 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,444 Dead. And if he's dead, what can we do? 553 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,531 This little boy, this little beautiful little creature, 554 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:37,075 is dead, and you continue to play? 555 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,577 What kind of heartless pieces of shit are you? 556 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,956 We thought about the puppy and how the puppy was dead, 557 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,290 and we thought about golf, 558 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,210 - and golf was there. - Yeah. What can we do? 559 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,795 - There's nothing to do. - Well, what about me? 560 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,297 You didn't think about how I was feeling at home 561 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,216 with the coyote eating my boy? 562 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,719 I must admit, you didn't come into our heads. 563 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:59,097 Really? You are about as selfish as they come. 564 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,390 And you, Larry, 565 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,393 you have no heart. You have no soul. 566 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,353 What if I was maimed by a coyote? 567 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,106 What would you do then, huh? Would you continue playing? 568 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:11,276 Certainly, I would give you more consideration 569 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:13,194 than I gave the dog. 570 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,447 - Uh-huh. - But ultimately, 571 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:17,949 I think I'd play through. 572 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,617 All right, you know what? Get the fuck out. You disgust me. 573 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,953 What do you do after a person's dead? 574 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,079 It's-- They're dead! 575 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,998 Don't ever touch this dog, 576 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,500 think of this dog, look at this dog! 577 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,544 No loss to me... 578 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:31,504 to not be involved with your dog. 579 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,965 Don't care. That's no punishment at all. 580 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,300 - Get out! - Okay, I'll leave. 581 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,676 But in my defense, let me just say 582 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,220 there are very few people I'd leave the golf course for 583 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,930 if I found out they died. 584 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,475 Even you! 585 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,476 Really? 586 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:45,810 Well, depends how I'm playing. 587 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,604 ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 588 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,231 Coming! 589 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,318 - Ah! - Hey, Larry. 590 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,736 - Hello, Duane. - Sorry to barge in, 591 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,321 but got the estimate for the tree service. 592 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,740 If you got a minute, I'd like to talk about it. 593 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,325 Yeah. Come on in. Yeah. 594 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,160 Thanks. 595 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,830 So, um, how you feeling? 596 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,915 We're healing. 597 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,166 - Yeah. - Healing. Slowly. 598 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,670 Good. Have you had any laughs at all since? 599 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,421 In the last 48 hours? Yeah. 600 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,131 No, not a whole lot of laughter in the house. 601 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:18,093 Just curious. I mean, if somebody told a joke, 602 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:20,387 do you think you have the capacity to laugh? 603 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,597 I-- I guess it would depend on the joke, Larry. 604 00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,683 So a funny joke could make you laugh. 605 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,559 And provide some temporary relief... 606 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,187 Ah! Got it! - ...in a very painful time. 607 00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,107 Got it. Okay. Okay. Just curious. 608 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,358 - So, the invoice. - Yeah. 609 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,360 - I got the invoice from the tree service. - Sure. 610 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,362 They had to remove the stump too, so... 611 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,030 We can just split that down the middle. 612 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,075 Okay, come on. 613 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,827 - Duane. - They had to remove the stump. 614 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,537 - Twenty-seven hundred? - Yes. 615 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,664 For eating a couple lemons a month? 616 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,625 And that's how much it costs to get rid of a tree. 617 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,253 Duane, I gotta tell you something, okay? 618 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,672 This is very un-Tubman-like behavior. 619 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,340 Okay, that's-- that's the second time with Tubmans. 620 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,550 - I don't know what you mean. - Yeah. 621 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,301 Well, what I mean is, I don't think 622 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,388 that your great aunt Harriet would condone this. 623 00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:04,848 So what kind of person was she, Larry? 624 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,307 Well, she was the kind of person 625 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,560 who smuggled slaves from the South to the North 626 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,562 - and didn't charge them. - Really? 627 00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:13,064 You know what Harriet Tubman would have done? 628 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,275 She would have come over to my house 629 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,569 with a big basket of lemons. Really? 630 00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,196 "Larry, darling, take as many lemons as you'd like." 631 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,406 I'd go, "Harriet, you know what? 632 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,907 They're dropping into the yard. I don't need it." 633 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,409 Wow, this has been a real education for me... 634 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:25,577 "Thank you. Thank you." 635 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:28,079 - ...on my own ancestry. - Oh, hey. This is Leon. 636 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,414 You know Duane, our neighbor? 637 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:30,623 - What's up, D? - Hey, brother. 638 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,875 - How you doing, brother? - Good to see you, brother. 639 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,251 Oh, yeah, he gets a "brother" right away, huh? 640 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,794 Yeah, that's what we do. 641 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,755 Every Black person you meet, you say "brother" to? "Hey, brother"? 642 00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,923 You say "brother" and you give him one of those right there. 643 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:39,841 Uh-huh. Yeah. You too? 644 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:42,260 - Respectful nod. - A nod is like our aloha. 645 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,553 I don't do a Jew nod. 646 00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,597 You know, you guys got that song already, "Hey, Jew." 647 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:48,725 No, no, that's "Hey Jude," with a D. J-U-D-E. 648 00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,602 Anyway, Duane, let's have a neighborly 649 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,604 adult discussion about this. 650 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:55,440 I'd like to help you out. I wanna do the right thing here. 651 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,108 - I can't possibly pay all this. - Yeah. Yeah. 652 00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,277 There's some charges here that I just can't possibly go along with. 653 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:00,862 It's the stump. They've got to get the wood-- 654 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:02,614 It just seems very excessive. - They gotta get the woodchipper. 655 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:04,324 It's not fair. It's not right. It's not my tree. 656 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:06,534 - I don't really care. - I don't pull these numbers-- I don't make them up. 657 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,119 I'd like to think I'm a fair man. 658 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,704 Am I a fair man? Huh? 659 00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,873 This is a fair man right here. I do the right thing, don't I? 660 00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,625 What you see is what the fuck you get. 661 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,543 And I'd like to do the right thing. - Okay. Okay. 662 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,379 Don't worry about it. I got it. I'll see myself out. 663 00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:19,506 You mean I don't have to pay? No, you do not. 664 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,424 What the hell was that? 665 00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,218 I don't know. That was amazing. 666 00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:25,095 My boy just ran out of here. Mm. 667 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,809 Oh my God! No, no, no, no, no! 668 00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:32,310 There they are! 669 00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:34,312 He saw it! He saw it! 670 00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,814 That's why he rushed out of here! 671 00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:38,400 He saw your boys! Those withered, 672 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,319 leathered grotesqueries just saved me 673 00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:43,488 thirteen hundred and fifty dollars! 674 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:46,449 He lost his mind! He left! I don't have to pay anything! 675 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,993 That's fucked up. All Black balls are like this. 676 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,870 Thank you. And thank you! 677 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,997 Yeah. My balls said, "You're welcome." 678 00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:56,710 And he sits on the arm of the couch, 679 00:22:56,710 --> 00:23:00,296 and his balls are hanging out. 680 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:04,300 And the guy got so discombobulated and takes off. 681 00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:08,221 My balls showed up and saved the fucking day. 682 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,682 That reminds me. Remember that girl Lydia, 683 00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,308 that I'm-- the neighbor that I'm helping out? 684 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,019 She is ovulating. Lucky you. 685 00:23:14,019 --> 00:23:16,688 The bad news, though, is I have to go up to Shasta. 686 00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:18,189 I got a mattress emergency, 687 00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:19,691 so I'm not gonna be able to be in town. 688 00:23:19,691 --> 00:23:22,068 But, uh, she's asking if I know anybody. 689 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,154 Any of you guys willing to, uh, 690 00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:25,572 step in and help my neighbor out, 691 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,866 being there for her-- for her pregnancy needs? What? 692 00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:29,117 Seriously? You're kidding. 693 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,869 We're on the bench and you sending in a reliever? 694 00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:32,787 Yes. You guys wanna see her? Here she is. 695 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:34,247 Sure. Beautiful. 696 00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,957 Yeah? - Let me see that. 697 00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:37,917 Yeah, I'll hit that. 698 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,211 - She's fabulous. And I'm in. - You're in? 699 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:41,588 I mean, what do you got, three sperm? 700 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,716 You could have intercourse with her for the next 15 years, 701 00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:46,885 there's no way you're ever gonna impregnate her. 702 00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:48,762 I'll bet you thousand dollars I have more sperm than you. 703 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,722 You got more sperm than me? In your dreams. 704 00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:52,057 And I will bury you with my sperm. 705 00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:54,392 The only problem is you can't get someone pregnant 706 00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:55,727 on old-ass sperm and shit 707 00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:57,395 when it's in powdered milk form. 708 00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:59,564 Jesus. 709 00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:01,232 All right. I'm out, Leon. 710 00:24:01,232 --> 00:24:03,068 I'll tap that. Leon's in. 711 00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:04,611 Let me get a video here. Hold on. 712 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:05,570 I'm gonna send her this. 713 00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:07,030 Make it simple and make it quick. 714 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,490 Here we go. Ready? All right. 715 00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:10,867 I'm Leon Black. You know what it is. 716 00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:12,869 I'm looking forward to tapping that ass. Hope you ready. 717 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,246 And if you happen to get pregnant, that's a bonus. 718 00:24:15,246 --> 00:24:16,748 How about that? Hmm? 719 00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:18,792 Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. 720 00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:21,211 All right, there you go. Let's see what she says. 721 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,129 So just deliver about three or four mattresses, 722 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,924 put 'em in front of the house. That way when I wear one out, 723 00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:28,176 I'll bring a new mattress, put that shit down too. 724 00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,302 Yeah, you gotta have a lot of runway 725 00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:30,720 to land the plane. I understand. 726 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,514 - Fuck yeah. - Okay, she got back to me. 727 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,890 - Boy, that was quick. - Oh, boy. 728 00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:36,559 And she said yes to Mr. Leon Black. 729 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,353 Oh! My God. - Oh! Fuck yeah. 730 00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:40,105 - Congratulations. - Congratulations. 731 00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:42,273 Hey, funny guy. 732 00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:44,067 When you hit Troy with golf ball, 733 00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:45,568 you didn't say "fore." 734 00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:46,820 I waved. Wave? 735 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:49,239 Wave means what? "Hello." "Goodbye." 736 00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,073 But it doesn't mean 737 00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:51,783 "I'm gonna hit you with a golf ball." 738 00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,868 But he's deaf. He can't hear. What was I supposed to do? 739 00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:55,912 And also, why'd you steal a lesson from Jimmy? 740 00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,497 I didn't steal a lesson from Jimmy. 741 00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:59,833 It's because your golf is so terrible 742 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,127 - nothing can help. Huh? - Oh. 743 00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:03,712 It's kusai. 744 00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:04,963 Kusai? Yes. 745 00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,256 - What is that? - Stinky. 746 00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:07,257 Oh. 747 00:25:07,257 --> 00:25:08,758 One more mistake... 748 00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:11,094 and you're out. 749 00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:13,638 Enjoy. 750 00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:20,103 Sou desu ka. 751 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:25,650 - Sou desu ka. - Sou desu ka. 752 00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:28,820 Sou desu ka. 753 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,364 - Sou desu ka. - Sou desu ka. 754 00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:32,574 What? 755 00:25:36,786 --> 00:25:37,996 Baka. 756 00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,249 Hmm. - Baka. 757 00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:46,254 Baka. Baka. 758 00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:48,590 Baka. Baka. Baka. 759 00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:50,050 Hey, what is this? 760 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,634 What? Look at this. 761 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,636 What is that? - They roped off the bench. 762 00:25:53,636 --> 00:25:55,347 - Because of you? - Yeah. 763 00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:57,182 "Sitting prohibited during lessons"? 764 00:25:57,182 --> 00:26:00,602 - What an asshole! I got roped! - You did get roped. 765 00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:03,021 ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 766 00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,022 Oh, do I suck. 767 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:06,024 I had to pick up. At least you putted out. 768 00:26:06,024 --> 00:26:08,276 So sick of this game. What a waste of time. 769 00:26:08,276 --> 00:26:09,444 Hey, by the way, my will? 770 00:26:09,444 --> 00:26:11,112 I'm gonna see an estate attorney this week, 771 00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:13,281 so you'll be covered. You're-- you're set. 772 00:26:13,281 --> 00:26:15,367 You know... 773 00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:17,994 ...it's kind of starting to dawn on me what's going on. 774 00:26:17,994 --> 00:26:20,163 - What are you talking about? - You're putting me in your will 775 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:23,500 'cause you want me to put you in my will. 776 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,709 Are you out of your fucking mind? 777 00:26:24,709 --> 00:26:26,503 - Huh? Is that right? - Would I be that shallow 778 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:27,879 - and that manipulative... - Yes. 779 00:26:27,879 --> 00:26:29,589 - ...and clandestine? - Yes, you would. Yeah. 780 00:26:29,589 --> 00:26:30,757 - Oh, that's bullshit. - Yeah, you would. 781 00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:31,925 This is a low point. 782 00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,551 Oh, no, it never occurred to you? 783 00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:35,679 Well, but now that you mention it... 784 00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,347 it sort of makes sense. 785 00:26:37,347 --> 00:26:39,641 I'll give you the same that you give me. How's that? 786 00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,726 - I'd say we do percentages. - And by the way, 787 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,353 what makes you think that I'm gonna die before you? 788 00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:45,730 - You're a little ragged right now. - You think that? 789 00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:47,607 - I'm in a little better shape than you. Yeah. - Oh, really? 790 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,693 I'm gonna outlive you by 20 years. 791 00:26:49,693 --> 00:26:51,695 My trainer is gonna move in with me. 792 00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,614 As soon as I get home, I'm gonna hire a nutritionist, 793 00:26:54,614 --> 00:26:57,242 I'm gonna get an acupuncturist, a masseuse. 794 00:26:57,242 --> 00:26:58,618 I will not have a donut 795 00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:00,412 - for the rest of my life... - You think so? 796 00:27:00,412 --> 00:27:01,663 ...just 'cause I wanna outlive you. 797 00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:03,498 You know what? Sugar. 798 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:04,874 Oh, you cocksucker. 799 00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:06,584 You gave away Wordle? You fuck. 800 00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:07,919 - That's so low. - You deserve it. 801 00:27:07,919 --> 00:27:09,337 You sicken me. Well, you know what? 802 00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:11,548 I'm gonna be waking up at five o'clock every morning 803 00:27:11,548 --> 00:27:12,924 and giving Wordle away. 804 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,342 You'll never do another Wordle for the rest of your life. 805 00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:16,261 Yeah, you do that. I'll wake up at four every morning 806 00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:17,470 and ruin it for you. 807 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,055 I'll-- I'll call my friend in New York! 808 00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:20,432 Yeah, I'll call my friend in London! 809 00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:22,684 I got a friend in Israel! What do you think about that? 810 00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:24,853 My friend lives on the equator! 811 00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:33,278 So what do you feel like's been the common miss? 812 00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:35,280 I just feel like I'm using all muscle, no technique. 813 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,239 - Muscle? - Yeah. 814 00:27:36,239 --> 00:27:37,699 I don't know, I'm leading with the hips 815 00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:39,367 - like I'm always doing, right? - Oh, no, no, no, no. 816 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,286 That's the worst advice ever, to keep your head down. 817 00:27:41,286 --> 00:27:43,496 - You gotta release the head, okay? - The head? 818 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:44,956 Then the hips. Oh, man. 819 00:27:44,956 --> 00:27:46,166 Everything comes after that, right? Right. 820 00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,125 Soften it all up, 821 00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:49,377 and we're gonna take it up to the top. Okay? 822 00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,380 ♪ (COMIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 823 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,882 And then with the head. 824 00:27:53,882 --> 00:27:56,384 - What are you looking at? - Unbelievable. 825 00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:57,844 Larry, I see you in there. 826 00:27:57,844 --> 00:27:59,346 What? - Stealing another lesson! 827 00:27:59,346 --> 00:28:01,723 I'm not stealing a lesson, I'm using the bathroom! 828 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,808 Just a master of deception and subterfuge. 829 00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:05,477 Get the hell out. I was here first! 830 00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:07,270 So what are-- I don't even know what you're talking about! 831 00:28:07,270 --> 00:28:09,189 Yeah, you're here first 'cause you're creeping and peeping! 832 00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:11,441 You didn't pay for the other one. You owe me two lessons now. 833 00:28:11,441 --> 00:28:12,776 And that's not even a lesson! 834 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:14,652 What, are you telling him to pick his head up? 835 00:28:14,652 --> 00:28:15,987 Everybody says to put their head down. 836 00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:17,280 No, you gotta release the head. 837 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,532 Who doesn't look at the ball, you fucking idiot? 838 00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:21,076 Mr. Takahashi's gonna hear about this one. 839 00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,495 Yeah, go ahead! Tell him. I don't give a shit. 840 00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:24,496 Let's get out of here. 841 00:28:24,496 --> 00:28:25,789 "Don't look at the ball!" 842 00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:27,290 Give me a break! 843 00:28:27,582 --> 00:28:28,667 Moron! 844 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:30,293 Is he the cutest, Cheryl? - He is the cutest! 845 00:28:30,293 --> 00:28:32,337 I'm petting his fur coat like that's his fur. 846 00:28:32,337 --> 00:28:34,047 I had it custom made. 847 00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,840 It's open! He's pooping? 848 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,384 Oh, his poops are gorgeous. 849 00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:39,636 - I mean, the most beautifully formed poops. - Okay. 850 00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:41,471 Hey, Larr. What's up? Hey, Larry. 851 00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:42,972 Came to use the, uh, Theragun. 852 00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:45,141 I injured my groin with this new swing. 853 00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:47,185 - The what? - The Theragun. My birthday gift? 854 00:28:47,185 --> 00:28:49,187 Oh, it's down there. It's down right where 855 00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:50,897 you left it last time. It's right there. 856 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:52,857 So, he's some kind of genius or something, 857 00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:53,858 - I'm not kidding. - Oh, yeah. 858 00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:55,151 The dog has such a high IQ. 859 00:28:55,151 --> 00:28:57,278 He's a regular Einstein. He's so smart. 860 00:28:58,488 --> 00:29:00,532 Auntie Cheryl and Uncle Ted. 861 00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:01,866 He is a smart puppy. 862 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:04,035 I know. Isn't that the cutest? 863 00:29:04,035 --> 00:29:06,246 Oh my God, this thing is fantastic. 864 00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:08,456 What're you doing? Oh! Oh, what a relief. 865 00:29:08,456 --> 00:29:10,583 Isn't that something you should be doing in private? 866 00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:11,793 No, it's a-- - Yeah, it is. 867 00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:13,461 What-- What are you-- I got pants on. 868 00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:14,671 What are you talking about? 869 00:29:14,671 --> 00:29:15,880 - Oh, Frankie, what's the matter? - Oh yeah. 870 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,923 That's scaring him. 871 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:18,091 Hey, hey, shut the fuck up, will ya! 872 00:29:18,091 --> 00:29:19,384 Don't you talk to my dog that way! 873 00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:21,636 But it's already getting better. I feel it loosening up. 874 00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:22,846 All right, good for you. 875 00:29:22,846 --> 00:29:23,888 Huh? You've never-- Here. You want to try it? 876 00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:25,849 - No. Get that away from me. - Huh? 877 00:29:25,849 --> 00:29:27,058 - You wanna try it? - No. 878 00:29:27,058 --> 00:29:28,852 You just rubbed it on your balls. No thank you. 879 00:29:28,852 --> 00:29:31,229 Hey, an old man like you, you should be using this. 880 00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:32,272 It's really good. 881 00:29:32,272 --> 00:29:34,566 You know, we heard about you on the golf course, 882 00:29:34,566 --> 00:29:36,609 with the coyote and Frankie thing. 883 00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,403 So? It's not my dog. 884 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:40,280 I was playing golf. I wanted to finish the round. 885 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,033 - That's so selfish. - What was I gonna do, 886 00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:45,076 give the dog mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? 887 00:29:45,076 --> 00:29:47,871 Well, you could stop golfing and make sure the dog is alive. 888 00:29:47,871 --> 00:29:50,915 What, what, what? - That's like what a human being would do. 889 00:29:50,915 --> 00:29:52,751 What am I supposed to do, go to his funeral? 890 00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:53,918 I mean, I don't understand. 891 00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:56,296 I think you were hoping that Frankie was dead... 892 00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:57,756 ...because you were jealous. 893 00:29:57,756 --> 00:29:59,924 That's lunacy. I hope the dog is dead? 894 00:29:59,924 --> 00:30:01,926 Why do I give a shit about a dumb little dog? 895 00:30:01,926 --> 00:30:03,178 You're jealous because... Jealous? 896 00:30:03,178 --> 00:30:05,638 ...we gave Susie a gift that means something to her, 897 00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:08,516 and you gave that stupid thigh jackhammer. 898 00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:10,352 I mean, really? 899 00:30:10,352 --> 00:30:12,979 - By the way... - Hey, turn that off while we're talking, will ya? 900 00:30:12,979 --> 00:30:14,439 Go to the bathroom and do it. 901 00:30:14,439 --> 00:30:16,816 You always have to be the center of attention, man. 902 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:18,735 Center of attention? I don't understand. 903 00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:21,154 Atlanta. Come on. Really? 904 00:30:21,154 --> 00:30:24,449 You know what I think? I think you're jealous 905 00:30:24,449 --> 00:30:27,786 that I'm the one who got arrested in Atlanta... 906 00:30:27,786 --> 00:30:28,828 Oh, brother. - Oh God. 907 00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:30,205 ...and I'm getting all this attention. 908 00:30:30,205 --> 00:30:32,290 Yeah, you know what? Yeah, I am jealous. 909 00:30:32,290 --> 00:30:33,875 Yeah, I know you are. I know you are. 910 00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:36,002 - You know why? I should've been the one who was arrested... - Yeah. 911 00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:37,837 ...because I use it as a platform 912 00:30:37,837 --> 00:30:39,172 - for the good of the planet. - Yes. 913 00:30:39,172 --> 00:30:40,840 Yeah, use it for the good of your publicist. 914 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,300 - Hey, you know, my-- - You know what? He's authentic. 915 00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:44,135 - He cares about people. - That's right. 916 00:30:44,135 --> 00:30:46,221 I'm authentic. I care about myself. 917 00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:48,014 - Oh my God. - Yeah. And only yourself. 918 00:30:48,014 --> 00:30:51,142 There's an authenticity involved in caring about oneself. 919 00:30:51,142 --> 00:30:52,769 - Oh my God. - Jesus, man. 920 00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:53,937 Is that unbelievable? 921 00:30:53,937 --> 00:30:55,814 Hey, you know what, Mr. Danson? What? 922 00:30:55,814 --> 00:30:57,565 - I got one word to say to you. - What? 923 00:30:58,149 --> 00:30:59,526 Sugar! 924 00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:02,570 What does that mean? - Yeah. I got it in two. 925 00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:05,115 That's Wordle? You gave away today's Wordle? 926 00:31:05,115 --> 00:31:07,117 I didn't do it yet, you fucking piece of shit. 927 00:31:07,117 --> 00:31:09,035 You've crossed the line now, mister. 928 00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:11,037 Take your crappy, mediocre gift 929 00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:12,414 and get the fuck out of my house! 930 00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,124 'Cause I'm not going to use that piece of shit. 931 00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:16,251 Two, Larry. Got it in two. You got it in two? 932 00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:19,879 Hey, I'll take my fantastic gift that just healed an injury 933 00:31:19,879 --> 00:31:20,839 in one minute! 934 00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,466 And by the way, you didn't get Wordle in two. 935 00:31:23,466 --> 00:31:24,676 You're full of shit. 936 00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:26,761 Wordle in two. Right. He did. 937 00:31:26,761 --> 00:31:27,846 Ted is smart! 938 00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:29,806 Wait, let me say goodbye to your stupid fucking dog. 939 00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:32,851 Do not touch the dog. Ever! 940 00:31:32,851 --> 00:31:35,478 My ass. You never got anything in two! 941 00:31:35,478 --> 00:31:38,773 He didn't have a groin injury. His groin is perfectly fine. 942 00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:41,443 - Oh. Hey, there's no charger. - What? Just go! 943 00:31:41,443 --> 00:31:43,903 Let me tell you something, and this goes for all of you. 944 00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:46,364 You're gonna be injured one day, probably pretty soon. 945 00:31:46,364 --> 00:31:48,533 Don't ask to use my Theragun. You're not getting it. 946 00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:50,577 Just know that. Okay. Fine. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. 947 00:31:50,577 --> 00:31:51,494 Go! 948 00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:53,163 Bye. And don't come back! 949 00:31:53,163 --> 00:31:56,249 ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 950 00:32:08,553 --> 00:32:10,472 - Hey. You want this? - Uh-huh. 951 00:32:10,472 --> 00:32:11,473 Yeah? 952 00:32:11,473 --> 00:32:13,558 No, no, no, don't get up! 953 00:32:19,356 --> 00:32:20,357 Fore. 954 00:32:22,359 --> 00:32:23,360 One! 955 00:32:24,486 --> 00:32:25,403 Sorry. 956 00:32:34,579 --> 00:32:36,956 Stop flip, flip, flip, flipping. What are we gonna watch? 957 00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:39,000 Let's just make a decision, you know? 958 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,127 ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 959 00:32:42,253 --> 00:32:44,130 Sienna Miller. Who? 960 00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:45,256 Sienna Miller. 961 00:32:45,256 --> 00:32:48,051 There's a documentary I really wanna watch 962 00:32:48,051 --> 00:32:50,178 about endangered Californian wildlife, 963 00:32:50,178 --> 00:32:52,931 the San Diego fairy shrimp. Just give me five... I just wanna see five minutes. 964 00:32:52,931 --> 00:32:54,265 Five minutes. I just wanna watch five minutes. 965 00:32:54,265 --> 00:32:55,934 Two minutes. Three minutes. 966 00:32:55,934 --> 00:32:58,144 Smile. - I can't. 967 00:33:01,272 --> 00:33:04,734 My hammer toe is getting so bad. 968 00:33:04,734 --> 00:33:07,404 This, it kind of helps, but I don't wanna have surgery. 969 00:33:07,404 --> 00:33:09,656 It's six weeks, you gotta wear a boot. 970 00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:10,990 Because I love you. 971 00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,618 And it's time to shave my corns again. 972 00:33:13,618 --> 00:33:17,163 My podiatrist, what an idiot. Could you push that on for me? 973 00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:19,791 For God's sake, protect my callus. 974 00:33:19,791 --> 00:33:21,042 It's so painful. 975 00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:23,378 ♪ (SAD MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 976 00:33:24,629 --> 00:33:26,131 Hi! You must be the Harringtons. 977 00:33:26,131 --> 00:33:27,966 Yes. I'm Lydia. I'm Ron. 978 00:33:27,966 --> 00:33:29,300 I'm Larry. Larry, nice to meet you. 979 00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:30,427 Hi. Nice to meet you. 980 00:33:30,427 --> 00:33:31,886 - Come on in, please. - Thank you. 981 00:33:31,886 --> 00:33:33,221 Oh, it's pretty nasty out. 982 00:33:33,221 --> 00:33:35,348 No, yeah, it doesn't feel like L.A. 983 00:33:35,348 --> 00:33:36,766 Oh, Leon! 984 00:33:37,726 --> 00:33:39,644 Leon! 985 00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:42,230 - Help yourself to some tea. - Oh, thank you. 986 00:33:42,230 --> 00:33:44,399 Very kind. Thank you so much. 987 00:33:44,399 --> 00:33:46,860 - This is really nice of you to broker this for us, so... - Yes. 988 00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:48,278 Whatever I can do to help. 989 00:33:48,278 --> 00:33:49,654 Thank you. 990 00:33:49,654 --> 00:33:50,655 Oh, there he is! 991 00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:51,656 Yeah. Hi! 992 00:33:51,656 --> 00:33:52,991 This is Leon. Hi. 993 00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:54,451 I'm Lydia. Hi! Hey, Lydia. 994 00:33:54,451 --> 00:33:55,994 Hey, Ron, how are you, Leon? Nice to meet you. 995 00:33:55,994 --> 00:33:57,203 - Mm. Lydia. - Yeah. 996 00:33:57,203 --> 00:33:59,205 That sounds sexy. I love those one-syllable names. 997 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:01,374 Except Lydia has three syllables. 998 00:34:01,374 --> 00:34:03,668 - Not one. - Now you're doing fucking math right now? 999 00:34:03,668 --> 00:34:05,211 I call her Dee sometimes, 1000 00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:07,005 - so that's one syllable. - Hey, problem fucking solved. 1001 00:34:08,214 --> 00:34:09,966 So you two are interested in starting a family. 1002 00:34:09,966 --> 00:34:11,509 Well, we wanna expand our family. 1003 00:34:11,509 --> 00:34:13,178 - We already have a little one. - We have one. 1004 00:34:13,178 --> 00:34:15,347 - Dog. We have a small dog. - Oh, you have a dog. 1005 00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:17,932 - Yeah. Yeah, Mabel. - It's like she's a person. 1006 00:34:17,932 --> 00:34:19,768 She's not a person. She's a dog. 1007 00:34:19,768 --> 00:34:21,186 She's very much like a little person. 1008 00:34:21,186 --> 00:34:23,021 And what can she do that a person does? 1009 00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:25,523 What Larry's saying is that a dog cannot be a person 1010 00:34:25,523 --> 00:34:26,983 'cause a dog can't do what people do. 1011 00:34:26,983 --> 00:34:29,194 Now, people can do dog-like shit. 1012 00:34:29,194 --> 00:34:30,945 Like, a contortionist in the circus? 1013 00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:32,364 This motherfucker can bend his body up 1014 00:34:32,364 --> 00:34:34,157 and lick his own balls if he wanted to. 1015 00:34:34,157 --> 00:34:36,201 Do you think that motherfucker can't lick his own nuts? 1016 00:34:36,201 --> 00:34:37,327 Of course he can. 1017 00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,411 - Y-- yeah. I-- - Yeah. 1018 00:34:38,411 --> 00:34:39,954 Can you excuse us for one second? 1019 00:34:39,954 --> 00:34:41,873 Of course. 1020 00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:43,500 If you wanna fuck this woman, 1021 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,001 I suggest you shut up, 1022 00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:47,045 because every time you open your mouth, 1023 00:34:47,045 --> 00:34:48,546 you're hurting your chances. 1024 00:34:48,546 --> 00:34:50,006 Let me tell you something right now. 1025 00:34:50,006 --> 00:34:51,925 I'm the dick salesman right now, right? 1026 00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:54,010 My dick is on the market, okay? 1027 00:34:54,010 --> 00:34:55,720 Let me sell this motherfucking car. 1028 00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:57,055 Okay? 1029 00:34:57,055 --> 00:34:59,224 Well, Leon, thank you so much for doing this. 1030 00:34:59,224 --> 00:35:00,975 - Yeah. - We are so excited. 1031 00:35:00,975 --> 00:35:04,396 Thank you for giving my dick the opportunity to serve you. 1032 00:35:04,396 --> 00:35:06,648 So, we have a window here. - I'm ovulating. 1033 00:35:06,648 --> 00:35:08,233 Yeah, so if you have any questions for us... 1034 00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:10,026 Please! - Do you guys want a girl? 1035 00:35:10,026 --> 00:35:11,194 'Cause if you do, 1036 00:35:11,194 --> 00:35:12,737 I'ma have to start eating a lot of mustard. 1037 00:35:12,737 --> 00:35:13,988 Oh, um... Well... 1038 00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:15,615 My fucking sperm is strong. 1039 00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:16,991 That little motherfucker gonna come out 1040 00:35:16,991 --> 00:35:19,077 with a mustache and bad credit. 1041 00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:21,746 I would be remiss if I didn't tell you 1042 00:35:21,746 --> 00:35:24,082 that my IQ is 152. 1043 00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:26,251 - 152? - And... 1044 00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:28,128 my mother was Miss Bensonhurst. 1045 00:35:28,128 --> 00:35:29,587 That's very impressive, Larry, 1046 00:35:29,587 --> 00:35:31,089 but your services won't be necessary. 1047 00:35:31,089 --> 00:35:32,424 Uh-uh, just FYI, 1048 00:35:32,424 --> 00:35:34,009 I don't know if you guys ever heard of 1049 00:35:34,009 --> 00:35:35,593 the Big Johnson community. 1050 00:35:35,593 --> 00:35:36,636 All right! 1051 00:35:36,636 --> 00:35:38,054 It's a bunch of-- - I think we're good here. 1052 00:35:38,054 --> 00:35:39,431 Thank you so much, Leon. 1053 00:35:39,431 --> 00:35:40,890 All right, well, so long! 1054 00:35:40,890 --> 00:35:42,600 - Nice meeting you. - Lovely to meet you. 1055 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,977 Can I give you a little tip? Yeah. 1056 00:35:43,977 --> 00:35:45,061 Keep those eyes closed. 1057 00:35:45,061 --> 00:35:47,939 Thank you. Bye. 1058 00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:49,441 Well, we gotta get home to Mabel, 1059 00:35:49,441 --> 00:35:51,192 but I have your number, and I'll see you tomorrow. 1060 00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:52,360 Give me a call. Yeah. 1061 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:53,945 And you get some sleep. You're gonna need it. 1062 00:35:53,945 --> 00:35:55,905 - Oh, okay. - Tap that ass tomorrow. 1063 00:35:55,905 --> 00:35:57,032 Thank you. Thank you. 1064 00:35:57,032 --> 00:35:57,991 No masturbating. 1065 00:35:57,991 --> 00:36:00,452 - Hey, you neither. - Okay. 1066 00:36:00,452 --> 00:36:02,078 No masturbating. Yeah. 1067 00:36:02,078 --> 00:36:04,456 Fuck is she, the cum police? 1068 00:36:04,456 --> 00:36:06,791 "Mr. Takahashi would like to see you 1069 00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:08,084 in his office tomorrow." 1070 00:36:08,084 --> 00:36:09,919 - Oh, shit. - Uh-oh. 1071 00:36:09,919 --> 00:36:10,920 You know what that means? 1072 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,297 I'm gonna get kicked out of the club. 1073 00:36:12,297 --> 00:36:14,299 - This is it. - Yeah, you fucked up. 1074 00:36:14,799 --> 00:36:15,884 Oh, there's Duane. 1075 00:36:15,884 --> 00:36:18,678 ♪ (MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1076 00:36:22,265 --> 00:36:23,975 Booker, let's go. Come on. 1077 00:36:25,101 --> 00:36:26,895 Motherfucker ain't even nod his head. 1078 00:36:26,895 --> 00:36:28,521 This fucking guy. 1079 00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:30,648 What's his problem? 1080 00:36:33,485 --> 00:36:36,488 ♪ (MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 1081 00:36:38,907 --> 00:36:40,825 Come in! 1082 00:36:40,825 --> 00:36:44,037 - You are in big trouble. - Oh. 1083 00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:46,498 I hear you no longer the funny guy. 1084 00:36:46,498 --> 00:36:47,332 Oh! 1085 00:36:47,332 --> 00:36:50,335 You are the cheap and violent guy. 1086 00:36:50,335 --> 00:36:53,838 First, you hit Academy Award winner Troy 1087 00:36:53,838 --> 00:36:55,298 - with golf ball. - Uh-huh. 1088 00:36:55,298 --> 00:36:57,300 And then, you hit him with bagel! 1089 00:36:57,300 --> 00:36:58,968 What do you have to say for yourself? 1090 00:36:58,968 --> 00:37:00,345 Okay. 1091 00:37:00,345 --> 00:37:02,180 First of all, the night before 1092 00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:03,556 I didn't have a very good night's sleep. 1093 00:37:03,556 --> 00:37:05,433 I'm dreaming I'm in a fish tank 1094 00:37:05,433 --> 00:37:07,185 with a lot of little guppies around me and... 1095 00:37:07,185 --> 00:37:08,937 and goldfish, and they're all pecking at me. 1096 00:37:08,937 --> 00:37:11,898 Pecking, pecking, pecking. They weren't hurting me. 1097 00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:14,025 And then in the morning, I'm going, 1098 00:37:14,025 --> 00:37:15,318 "I wonder why I had that dream." 1099 00:37:15,318 --> 00:37:18,238 Is it because I said I don't really like salmon? 1100 00:37:18,238 --> 00:37:19,614 I never said anything else about fish. 1101 00:37:19,614 --> 00:37:22,117 And so, I'm exhausted. 1102 00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:24,160 And I go to the driving range that morning, 1103 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,495 and I'm sitting on the bench. 1104 00:37:25,495 --> 00:37:26,830 I'm thinking about 1105 00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:28,039 what I'm gonna have for lunch. 1106 00:37:28,039 --> 00:37:29,290 I'm not gonna have fish, I know that. 1107 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,251 Then I hear Jimmy. He's giving a lesson. 1108 00:37:31,251 --> 00:37:32,961 Vertical drop, horizontal tug. 1109 00:37:32,961 --> 00:37:35,130 Okay! Okay! Okay! Stop! No more! 1110 00:37:36,673 --> 00:37:39,592 What's that? 1111 00:37:39,592 --> 00:37:42,095 Get out! Ah! Can do, Mr. T. 1112 00:37:42,095 --> 00:37:43,888 Got it. Go away! 1113 00:37:43,888 --> 00:37:44,681 I don't want to see you. 1114 00:37:44,681 --> 00:37:46,057 I don't wanna see any part of you. 1115 00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:47,642 - Go! - Arigato. 1116 00:37:49,019 --> 00:37:50,103 Baka! 1117 00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:57,736 Yeah! 1118 00:38:02,073 --> 00:38:03,241 What was that? 1119 00:38:03,241 --> 00:38:04,743 Was that a coyote? 1120 00:38:06,202 --> 00:38:08,246 Mabel? Did you hear a dog? 1121 00:38:08,246 --> 00:38:09,789 I didn't hear shit. 1122 00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:14,753 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1123 00:39:19,109 --> 00:39:20,985 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪