1 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,080 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:19,559 --> 00:00:22,000 [dramatic music playing] 3 00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:24,359 [Jeremy] With the all-hands-on-deck 4 00:00:24,359 --> 00:00:27,879 harvest frenzy nearly upon us, 5 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,640 I had to work fast to complete all the other projects 6 00:00:31,719 --> 00:00:34,079 I'd started earlier in the farming year. 7 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,759 And so, with the sun continuing 8 00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:40,439 to blaze down from a cloudless sky, 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,640 I decided to begin with what I thought 10 00:00:44,679 --> 00:00:47,560 would be the coolest job of them all. 11 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,960 Seven hundred glass bottles. 12 00:00:51,039 --> 00:00:51,960 Helping to set up 13 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,320 our newly-finished water bottling plant. 14 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:58,880 This is a speed James May would call supersonic. 15 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:05,719 Like your hat. 16 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,120 [Lisa] Groovy, right? 17 00:01:08,879 --> 00:01:11,760 [Jeremy] I then discovered that housing the bottling plant 18 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,680 in a metal shipping container 19 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,079 hadn't been my best idea. 20 00:01:17,159 --> 00:01:18,519 It's too hot for words. 21 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,159 Okay. Hang on. 22 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,039 Let me just show you how it finishes off. 23 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:23,920 48.6 degrees at that, at head height. 24 00:01:24,039 --> 00:01:26,719 -Okay, and then... -48.6 degrees. 25 00:01:26,799 --> 00:01:29,120 Okay, look, I'm gonna show you how it kinda works. 26 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,239 There we go. There's two going. 27 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,319 The weight is a little under. 28 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,439 Okay, that one is perfect. 29 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:39,000 Then you take a cap, Jeremy, okay? 30 00:01:39,079 --> 00:01:42,280 Screw that on, keeping an eye on over yonder. 31 00:01:43,079 --> 00:01:45,120 And then you go to the hot box 32 00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:49,920 and go like that 33 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,159 and then you're just a quick second in here. 34 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,479 -Ooh, is that the labelling? -Yeah, but I haven't-- 35 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:54,799 There's a bit of-- 36 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,680 Oh, look, there we go. That worked. 37 00:01:56,719 --> 00:01:57,640 -No, it didn't. You've made a mess. 38 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,039 -I didn't. No, it's perfect. 39 00:01:59,079 --> 00:02:01,200 -[Jeremy] It's not perfect. -[Lisa] No-- 40 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,519 [Jeremy] And then I take it off. 41 00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:10,199 [Lisa] Any more bottles? 42 00:02:13,039 --> 00:02:14,520 Okay, I need some more. 43 00:02:14,599 --> 00:02:18,159 Okay, and then, oh... oh, okay, that's not good. 44 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,159 Um, and then, sorry. Je-- 45 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,719 [sighs] 46 00:02:23,719 --> 00:02:24,800 In your own time. 47 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:26,039 There, a bottle. 48 00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:27,719 [Jeremy chuckles] 49 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,319 -49.7 degrees. -[Lisa] It's really hot. 50 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,759 [Jeremy] If it reaches 50 degrees, 51 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,360 we're allowed to go on strike. 52 00:02:34,039 --> 00:02:36,800 -It's hot. -Holy shit! 53 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,879 [pleasant music playing] 54 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:44,000 [Jeremy] Finally, though, England reverted to type. 55 00:02:44,079 --> 00:02:46,879 [thunder rumbling] 56 00:02:47,879 --> 00:02:49,639 [piano music playing] 57 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,400 The end of the drought 58 00:03:15,479 --> 00:03:17,879 was all anyone in the area could talk about... 59 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,280 I think. 60 00:03:22,039 --> 00:03:22,960 [heavy accent] I don't have to hear about 61 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,639 your one with a bigger... [indistinct] 62 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,159 What have I put me head into here? [chuckling] 63 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:34,240 Well, you know, I mean, I've done... [indistinct] Yeah. 64 00:03:34,319 --> 00:03:36,000 Excellent. All right, thanks, Gerald. 65 00:03:36,439 --> 00:03:38,240 I went down the side of old Green Wood 66 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,319 on the old electric fence. 67 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,439 I mean, that was, like, you know, for horses. 68 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,360 Okay. 69 00:03:43,439 --> 00:03:45,560 So up there, the guinea pig, two of them there was 70 00:03:45,639 --> 00:03:47,240 and they tried to get out before I could get in the gate 71 00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:49,879 and I thought, "Oh, my God, they will be acting the goat." 72 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:50,800 Yeah. 73 00:03:50,879 --> 00:03:54,280 [Gerald] Well, not at your age now you wouldn't. [laughs] 74 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,479 [Jeremy] Brilliant. All right. We'll let you get on. 75 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:57,439 [Gerald] Okey-dokey. 76 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,319 [pleasant music playing] 77 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,599 [Jeremy] I then headed for the farm shop 78 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:07,479 where Lisa had been hard at work and finding new things to sell. 79 00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:10,800 It's an actual shop. 80 00:04:10,879 --> 00:04:14,000 I know. Smell the strawberries. Aren't they delicious? 81 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,199 No, no, no. Don't eat them. 82 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,879 -Oh, they're so good. -Unless you want to buy them. 83 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,040 And cakes. 84 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,920 [Lisa] Loads of cakes. 85 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,079 Holy cow! It's a proper shop. 86 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,360 Piccalilli, I love piccalilli. 87 00:04:26,439 --> 00:04:28,600 Fruity chutney. God, we've got everything. 88 00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:31,040 Yes. The milkshakes, I've sold, 89 00:04:31,079 --> 00:04:32,879 and they apparently are delicious. 90 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,560 -So, we've got cheese, milkshake... 91 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,360 -[Lisa] Cream. 92 00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:40,240 What's in here? [vocalizing] Oh, my word! 93 00:04:40,319 --> 00:04:42,360 We've had a run on the sausages. 94 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,199 -[Jeremy] Sausages, bacon. -Yeah, yeah. Sausage rolls. 95 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,120 -[Jeremy] Rump steak. -Yep. 96 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,159 [Jeremy] Burgers. God, wait until the camp site. 97 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,000 -You know they're reopening on the fourth? 98 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:51,639 -Yes. 99 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,920 Can I... Can I just ask? 100 00:04:56,319 --> 00:04:57,600 Simple question. 101 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,319 You know the planning permission 102 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,000 says everything has to come from within 30 miles? 103 00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:02,920 Yes. 104 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,759 That it has to be a local shop for local people? 105 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,720 Yes. 106 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,439 Is this a Cotswold pineapple? 107 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,639 No. No, but I was low on stock. 108 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,879 -Oh, and these avocados. -Yes. 109 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,800 Again, not that local. 110 00:05:18,879 --> 00:05:21,480 No. Well, they came from one of the shires. 111 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,120 -I'm not sure which one. -You know, eating two of these-- 112 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,120 They don't come from a shire, they come from South America. 113 00:05:27,199 --> 00:05:28,040 Shire. 114 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,600 Eating two of these does more environmental damage 115 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,959 than driving a Volkswagen Polo for a year. 116 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:33,920 [Lisa] No way! 117 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,759 That's bad. I'm not gonna stock avocado anymore. 118 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:41,439 So, apart from those eggs, 119 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,360 okay, there's nothing in here 120 00:05:43,399 --> 00:05:46,840 that I can see which is from our farm. 121 00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:50,319 [Lisa] Well, meet me halfway. Give me anything. 122 00:05:50,399 --> 00:05:53,079 -Grow something, make something. -I am growing things. 123 00:05:53,159 --> 00:05:55,519 Do something. I've nothing in here from you. 124 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,600 [Jeremy] At that moment, His Cheerfulness arrived. 125 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,720 -[Charlie] Hello. -Hey, Charlie. 126 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,240 Charlie. 127 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,720 Wow! This looks absolutely fantastic. 128 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,839 It's good, isn't it? 129 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,720 Well, just 'cause Lisa's done something, you like it? 130 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,519 -[laughs] No. -That's what it is. 131 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,720 It looks... genuinely looks smart, doesn't it? 132 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,000 Uh, how local are the pineapples? 133 00:06:16,079 --> 00:06:17,319 Cotswold pineapples. 134 00:06:17,399 --> 00:06:19,480 Are they really? Avocados? 135 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,560 Cotswold. 136 00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:23,720 [Charlie] And... and what about margins? Have we-- 137 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,920 We haven't really done a budget, have we? 138 00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:26,600 I like budget. 139 00:06:26,639 --> 00:06:27,839 -You know how I like-- -[Jeremy] I know. 140 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,959 I like to know that the bottom figure doesn't have... 141 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,399 -I'm working on about 40%. -Okay. 142 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,000 It's 40% on everything? 143 00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:35,159 -[Lisa] More or less. -Okay. 144 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,279 [guitar music playing] 145 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,759 [Jeremy] Ever the gentleman, 146 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:42,319 Charlie then had a quiet word with me out of Lisa's earshot. 147 00:06:42,399 --> 00:06:44,399 So, just on pricing, 148 00:06:45,879 --> 00:06:47,680 -with a 40% markup... -Yeah. 149 00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:53,120 Wholesale price of strawberries £2.80, 150 00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:57,399 sold for £3.50, 70p. 151 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,000 It's 25%. 152 00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:01,639 That's Lisa's maths. 153 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,879 So we ought to just-- I'm not blaming-- 154 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:05,839 I didn't know. 155 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:06,720 No, I'm just saying 156 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,000 that they learn differently in Dublin. 157 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,160 -[both chuckle] -Maths. 158 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,920 Well, we just need to check that we've got 159 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:12,720 appropriate prices for everything. 160 00:07:12,759 --> 00:07:13,600 Okay. 161 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,040 [guitar music playing] 162 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,959 [Jeremy] On the subject of Lisa's plea 163 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,560 for more farm produce, 164 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,240 there was something I could do, 165 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,160 because my quarter of a million bees 166 00:07:25,199 --> 00:07:28,240 had had enough time to make some honey. 167 00:07:34,159 --> 00:07:35,840 Burn, baby, burn! 168 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:38,920 [coughs] 169 00:07:40,199 --> 00:07:42,279 I'll have no biting from you today. 170 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,040 Here we go. 171 00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:47,120 When I got stung last time I was here, 172 00:07:47,159 --> 00:07:49,279 my foot throbbed for four days. 173 00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:50,560 I mean, really throbbed. 174 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:52,639 And then itched so violently 175 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,079 I wanted to saw it off, my whole foot. 176 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,560 Here we go. Look at all that bee juice. 177 00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:03,000 Holy Mother of God, that's a lot of honey. 178 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,720 Excellent. 179 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,720 Oh! So exciting. 180 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,079 I've just thought. 181 00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:16,160 [laughs] I'm going to be driving back 182 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,000 and all the loose bees are going to go in the car. 183 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,800 Yeah, not much I can do about that. 184 00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:23,720 Oh, shit! 185 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,560 Oh, Christ! 186 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,639 I've got one in my suit. 187 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,600 How the fucking hell's that happened? 188 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,519 Argh! 189 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,200 And it's stung me right in the arse cheeks. 190 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:36,080 Oh, this really, this is bad. 191 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:37,120 Agh! 192 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,399 [thrilling music playing] 193 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,720 Having taken a brave pill, 194 00:08:41,759 --> 00:08:43,519 I stacked up the remaining trays 195 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,279 and set off with my unwanted passengers. 196 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,000 Oh, I can hear them. Listen. 197 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,360 How can it be legal to drive 198 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,159 with a beehive in the back of your car? 199 00:08:57,759 --> 00:09:01,639 Agh, I can feel that buttock growing a third buttock. 200 00:09:05,759 --> 00:09:07,159 Worst journey of my life. 201 00:09:08,519 --> 00:09:09,759 Talk among yourselves. 202 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,039 I am just applying Wasp-Eze to my own arse crack, 203 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,600 'cause the crew won't do it. 204 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,200 I just don't believe this. 205 00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:19,759 A lot of bees there. 206 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,200 [banjo music playing] 207 00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,759 With my third buttock now numbed, 208 00:09:25,759 --> 00:09:28,440 I started to sort out my bee juice. 209 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,759 Look at this. Look at that. 210 00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:35,600 A slab of beeswax, which could be used 211 00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:38,000 as furniture polish, floor polish. 212 00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:41,039 Percussionists use it to make tambourines 213 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:41,720 make a better sound. 214 00:09:41,759 --> 00:09:43,440 It's used in accordions. 215 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,159 Madame Tussauds, they made 216 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,240 all their waxwork models out of beeswax. 217 00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:51,600 The wax, in the olden days, 218 00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:55,320 used to sell for 14 times more money than the honey did. 219 00:09:56,399 --> 00:09:58,159 [blues music playing] 220 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,080 My next task was to extract the honey 221 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,320 using something called a spinner. 222 00:10:04,279 --> 00:10:05,360 Look at this. 223 00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:09,120 The important thing here is to be gentle, 224 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,639 so you get the honey without damaging the honeycombs. 225 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,320 This is all honey down in here. All honey. 226 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:21,960 Um... 227 00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:24,399 Oh, God, look what's happened here. 228 00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:30,519 But, despite the damage... 229 00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:32,399 Look, look, look, look, look, look! 230 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,240 My first jar of bee juice. 231 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,600 [country music playing] 232 00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:48,200 The next day, with the honey all packaged up, 233 00:10:48,279 --> 00:10:50,519 I picked some of my vegetables. 234 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,000 Look at this. 235 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,639 Whoa! That is vivid. 236 00:10:55,519 --> 00:10:56,960 And then, laden down 237 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,000 with actual produce from my own farm, 238 00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:02,000 I proudly headed to the shop. 239 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,440 [Lisa] Oh, wow! 240 00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:06,639 Right, so that's the first batch of honey. 241 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,679 I've got more coming later. And then... 242 00:11:08,759 --> 00:11:10,080 Oh, wow, how did you do this? 243 00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,200 Chard? 244 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:15,399 Oh, you've brought it in a bag from our closest competition. 245 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,120 Oh, God, I have. 246 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,879 [chuckling] It's a very fine food shop 247 00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:20,840 half a mile down the road. 248 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:21,840 The honey is fantastic. 249 00:11:21,879 --> 00:11:23,440 How much do you want to sell it for? 250 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,759 Well, I saw in Daylesford the other day, 251 00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,840 half that was £20. 252 00:11:27,879 --> 00:11:28,759 Half that? 253 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,600 And it was £20. I think you can easily go... 254 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,639 -£7? -For those-- No, more. 255 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,919 -Really? -Yeah, more. 256 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,360 I've worked bloody hard for that. 257 00:11:37,399 --> 00:11:38,799 I've been stung twice. 258 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,639 I'm not selling it for £7. 259 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,639 £10. 260 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,799 -£8.50. -They stung-- 261 00:11:42,879 --> 00:11:43,879 No. 262 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,200 Sorry, are we holding you up? 263 00:11:45,279 --> 00:11:46,759 Sorry, there's a customer. 264 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,399 Then the price issue got even worse. 265 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:54,679 A lady's just come in. 266 00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:55,000 She said, 267 00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:57,039 "Well, I'll give you £6.50 for it," 268 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,320 and Lisa said "Fine." 269 00:11:58,399 --> 00:11:59,320 [scoffs] 270 00:12:00,159 --> 00:12:03,200 She just happened to capitalize on an argument 271 00:12:03,279 --> 00:12:06,480 and now she's getting that honey for £6.50. 272 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,440 Yeah. They arrived in this morning. 273 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,000 It's just, this isn't how Asda is run. 274 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,639 They don't ask the customers how much they'd like to pay. 275 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,440 -Yep. -[woman] Do you take cards? 276 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,200 We do. Only cards now. 277 00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:20,159 -[woman] Oh! 278 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,919 -[Lisa] Yes. Um, if you'd like... 279 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,960 [Jeremy] Whilst I was having a sulk, 280 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,039 Kaleb arrived in his new toy. 281 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,000 [engine revving] 282 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,840 Oh, look at this. 283 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,200 That's actually very cool 284 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,279 and I just heard you go by earlier. 285 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,240 Did you? [laughs] 286 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,720 -It does make a good sound. -It's nice, isn't it? 287 00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:43,480 Nice. 288 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:46,600 So, this was your styling then, the black bonnet, black roof? 289 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,559 Yeah, black bonnet, black roof, black spoiler. 290 00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:50,559 I bought the new spoiler for it. 291 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,559 -I had the windows tinted as well. 292 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,559 -Of course you did. 293 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,120 So, basically, when I bought it, two days after having it, 294 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,639 driving out of Long Com at 60 miles an hour, 295 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,960 this comes up like that, folds over that. 296 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,120 That bit here was bent in. 297 00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:04,080 What, the roof? 298 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:07,279 Yeah, the roof was about that far from my head in the cab. 299 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,559 -What, just from the bonnet? -From the bonnet. 300 00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,320 Why did the bonnet catch give up? 301 00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:13,200 Because apparently it's a thing 302 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,480 you've got to look out for on these. 303 00:13:14,519 --> 00:13:15,360 They rust away. 304 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,039 And this is your first proper car, isn't it? 305 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,320 It's my proper dream. This is my dream car, this, 306 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:20,399 ever since I was a kid. 307 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,879 -What, you wanted a 350? -A 350. 308 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:25,200 My only slight concern is this is a GT car. 309 00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:26,840 -A Grand Tourer. -Yeah. 310 00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:28,279 A long-distance car. 311 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,679 But since you never go further than three miles 312 00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:32,360 from where we're standing now... 313 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,399 Yeah. 314 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,960 -Where's the furthest you've been in it? 315 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,200 -Um, Banbury. 316 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,120 -Ooh, 12 miles. -Twelve miles. That's it. 317 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,840 What, and then you got scared? 318 00:13:40,919 --> 00:13:41,919 Then come home. 319 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,759 Also. Are you wearing a hairband? 320 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,639 Yeah. A hairband to keep my hair out of my face. 321 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,000 [Jeremy] Is that because 322 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,480 -you haven't had a haircut for-- -Yeah, for ages. 323 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:52,759 On the 27th, though, I'm getting it permed. 324 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,200 You're going to drive around in this car with a perm? 325 00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:57,200 Yep. 326 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,799 -Oh, yeah! [chuckles] -Watch out, Chippy! [laughs] 327 00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:01,600 [both giggling] 328 00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:05,159 [country music playing] 329 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,919 [Jeremy] After Vidal Sassoon had left, 330 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,639 I went into the woods to see my wasabi plants, 331 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:21,639 which I'd decided were now ready to be turned into cash. 332 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:28,200 Sadly, though, the recent heatwave had taken its toll. 333 00:14:30,679 --> 00:14:32,480 Um, as you can see, 334 00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:35,039 everything I've planted at this end of the bed 335 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,519 has not just died, but totally disappeared. 336 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,039 It's got 27 plants, 337 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:45,039 which means 73 have died. 338 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,320 This end, where there's still 339 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,639 quite a lot of water coming through, 340 00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,919 things aren't too bad, though. 341 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,120 Oh, yes! 342 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,440 Look at him. 343 00:14:58,519 --> 00:15:00,840 Hello, look at the size of him! 344 00:15:01,879 --> 00:15:02,559 The good thing is, 345 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,320 all the restaurants recently re-opened 346 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,480 and the chancellor is even paying people 347 00:15:06,519 --> 00:15:08,559 to go and eat in them, 348 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,559 so I can get that down to London, 349 00:15:11,639 --> 00:15:14,320 get it into some Japanese restaurant 350 00:15:14,399 --> 00:15:16,320 and they'll be amazed. 351 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:17,759 [whimsical music playing] 352 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,679 Because I was so busy, 353 00:15:19,759 --> 00:15:22,799 obviously I couldn't spare the time to go to London. 354 00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:26,879 But, luckily, I knew just the man for the job. 355 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,320 He'd only been to the capital once, on a school art trip, 356 00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:36,960 and he'd been so scared 357 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,080 he hadn't dared get off the coach. 358 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,799 But he's all grown up now and, at the very least, 359 00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:44,159 I figured the trip would give him 360 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,159 an opportunity to drive his new car. 361 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,080 But no. 362 00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:57,159 A few things you're gonna need to know. 363 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,039 Have you got your ULEV? 364 00:15:59,120 --> 00:15:59,960 What's that? 365 00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:01,320 Ultra-low emission. 366 00:16:01,399 --> 00:16:03,559 That diesel engine was made before 2015, yeah? 367 00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:04,480 Yeah. 368 00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,919 So, you're gonna need to pay that congestion charge. 369 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,240 You're gonna need at least 15 apps for your parking, 370 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,679 for all the different companies. 371 00:16:11,759 --> 00:16:14,840 And every single thing you can do in the countryside 372 00:16:14,919 --> 00:16:16,200 you can't do in London. 373 00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:19,919 If you get stabbed, right, they won't have that on CCTV. 374 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,720 You make a cheeky left, they will. 375 00:16:21,799 --> 00:16:23,159 How the fuck do I pay 376 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,639 an ingestion charge and stuff like that? 377 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,240 -What is that about? -You make a call. 378 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,159 I can't just-- Why can't I... 379 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,440 But don't make a call while you're driving. 380 00:16:28,519 --> 00:16:29,559 Why would you do that, then? 381 00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:31,120 Or you can do it on an app, 382 00:16:31,159 --> 00:16:32,759 and the ULEV as well. Don't forget that. 383 00:16:32,799 --> 00:16:35,039 It's about 28 quid to drive into London in this. 384 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,360 Well, it's free round here. 385 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,919 Yes, I know everything's free around here. 386 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:38,639 Every single thing 387 00:16:38,679 --> 00:16:40,159 you can do around here, everything, 388 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,440 you can't do in London. 389 00:16:41,519 --> 00:16:44,919 I think we've got the jobs a little bit wrong today. 390 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,480 Go to London, sell wasabi. 391 00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:48,759 Don't take less than £300 392 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,279 and I'll see you back here tonight. 393 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,679 -£300 per kg? -Yeah. 394 00:16:52,759 --> 00:16:54,679 -All right. -It's valuable. 395 00:16:54,759 --> 00:16:56,159 See you tonight. 396 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,320 Yeah. 397 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,720 [Jeremy] He's genuinely nervous. 398 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,480 [GPS chimes] 399 00:17:01,559 --> 00:17:02,759 [automated female voice] In 100 yards, 400 00:17:02,799 --> 00:17:05,079 turn left onto Church Road. 401 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,200 This route avoids congestion on A40 in London. 402 00:17:08,279 --> 00:17:12,039 You are on the fastest route. You will arrive at 9:29 a.m. 403 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:13,759 What? 404 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,680 There ain't congest-- congestion. I'm in Chadlington. 405 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,880 -[GPS chimes] -One mile. 406 00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:24,920 One mile for what? 407 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,279 All right, here we go. 408 00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:31,559 I am officially leaving Chadlington. 409 00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:36,640 My palms are really sweaty. 410 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,039 Like, really sweaty. 411 00:17:44,319 --> 00:17:46,200 Going on the motorway? Eh? 412 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:49,880 Right, here we go. 413 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:50,559 -[GPS chimes] 414 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,480 -Continue on the M40 for 27 miles. 415 00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:55,519 M40 for 27 miles? 416 00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:58,160 Jeez! 417 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,960 [Jeremy] If Kaleb thought things were 418 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,640 bad for him, they were worse for me... 419 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,920 [country music playing] 420 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,960 ...as this is the time of year 421 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,559 when farmers apply for their grants. 422 00:18:10,559 --> 00:18:12,880 This meant I had to tell the government 423 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,880 exactly what I was growing. 424 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,720 That meant paperwork. 425 00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:21,079 I've been looking forward to today, 426 00:18:21,079 --> 00:18:22,720 'cause I love form-filling. 427 00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:23,720 Yeah, yeah, it's quite 428 00:18:23,759 --> 00:18:26,200 a useful few hours, because, um... 429 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,279 Hours? 430 00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:28,960 -Yeah. -[Jeremy] So, this form... 431 00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:29,880 Yeah. 432 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,319 ...which is hundreds of pages long... 433 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,920 [Charlie] It's 22 pages long. 434 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,799 I've got better things to do with my time than this. 435 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,319 -But it's... We've got-- -How much do they pay? 436 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,759 Because whatever it is, 437 00:18:42,799 --> 00:18:45,039 I'd rather pay it myself than fill in a form. 438 00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:46,319 Really? 439 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,079 -360 hectares you have... -Yeah. 440 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,920 ...and they'll pay you £220. So that's £82,000. 441 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,480 Right, I'll fill in the form. 442 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:53,160 So, the first thing we'll need 443 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,759 is a farm map. So, there's the map. 444 00:18:55,799 --> 00:18:57,160 And there are certain codes. 445 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,640 So, you see that that there says... 446 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,000 -[Jeremy] AC66. -So that's wheat. 447 00:19:02,079 --> 00:19:02,960 Why is it wheat? 448 00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:05,279 Because that's the code for wheat, Jeremy. 449 00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:07,279 -What's AC17? -Maize. 450 00:19:07,319 --> 00:19:09,799 -What's PG01? -Permanent grass. 451 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,559 -What's WO25? -Those are woodlands. 452 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,519 Have you ever flown into a really, sort of, 453 00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:16,319 let's say developing world country 454 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,960 and they give you a massively complicated immigration form? 455 00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:21,920 -Burma, for example. -No. 456 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,440 And you know when you fill this in, which takes an hour... 457 00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:28,200 or Cambodia... they put it in the bin. 458 00:19:28,279 --> 00:19:30,000 That's what going-- We are-- 459 00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:31,799 This is developing world nonsense, this is. 460 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:32,799 So... 461 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,240 [Jeremy] Right, so there's how many fields 462 00:19:34,279 --> 00:19:36,079 on the farm? I've forgotten. 463 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,279 Uh, there's about 42. So, there's Dead Man. 464 00:19:38,319 --> 00:19:39,400 -Yeah. -So... 465 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,759 -So, we have to go... -That's got wheat in it. 466 00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:44,559 Yes, but it's got last year's crop in it at the moment, 467 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,920 which was oil seed rape. So, we have to go through this. 468 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:47,920 But it's got wheat in it. 469 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,880 Yes, but as far as the government are concerned... 470 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:51,640 Well, it hasn't. It's got-- 471 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,720 I know it's got wheat in it. I've seen it. 472 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,200 They don't know that yet. 473 00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:57,799 You have to be accurate, Jeremy, about... 474 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,319 [marching band music playing] 475 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,200 [Jeremy] Meanwhile, 70 miles away, 476 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:04,319 Sir Ranulph had finally arrived 477 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,720 in the center of a COVID-quiet London. 478 00:20:07,759 --> 00:20:09,480 Not that he saw it that way. 479 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,200 [sirens blaring] 480 00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:13,440 Where am I? 481 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,799 In there, in here? What is going on? 482 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:17,759 [GPS chimes] 483 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,880 [automated female voice] In 100 yards, 484 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,960 use the second from the left lane 485 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,480 to turn left onto Piccadilly. 486 00:20:22,559 --> 00:20:24,480 Then use the second from the left lane 487 00:20:24,559 --> 00:20:27,400 to turn slightly right onto Duke of Wellington Place. 488 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,440 What? No, not a chance in hell. I'm going straight on. 489 00:20:30,519 --> 00:20:32,799 -[GPS chimes] -At the roundabout turn left. 490 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,640 Turn left onto Constitution Hill. 491 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:34,960 -[GPS chimes] 492 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,759 -Take the first left on the roundabout. 493 00:20:36,799 --> 00:20:38,960 I don't understand. Don't keep telling me to turn left! 494 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,279 -[GPS chimes] 495 00:20:39,319 --> 00:20:40,559 -Turn right into Grosvenor Place. 496 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,400 -[horn honking] -What are you beeping me at? 497 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,640 Dickhead! 498 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,720 Hello. Just cut right in front of me, why don't you? 499 00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:48,160 -[GPS chimes] -From the right lane, 500 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,799 turn slightly right onto Piccadilly, 501 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,960 then use the left two lanes 502 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,720 to turn left to stay on Piccadilly. 503 00:20:52,759 --> 00:20:56,200 What? No, no, no, no. I need to go there. 504 00:20:56,279 --> 00:20:57,559 [horn honks] 505 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,640 Sorry, friend. 506 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,480 Congestion charge. Jesus! 507 00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:02,799 Ultra-low. 508 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,880 -[GPS chimes] -Turn left onto Old Park Lane. 509 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,880 Great. No left turning. Ah, you're fucking having me on! 510 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,039 I'm meant to go left down there. I've got to go left here. 511 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,200 I am looking for a restaurant called Nero. 512 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,319 Nero, Naro, 513 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,319 Nero, Noro, Naro. 514 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,799 [Jeremy] Eventually, Kaleb found 515 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,920 the restaurant he was looking for. 516 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,960 All right, where do I park? Come on, park. 517 00:21:35,079 --> 00:21:36,440 Pay by phone. 518 00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:41,799 027125. 519 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:42,720 [recorded male voice] Sorry. 520 00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:44,920 We're unable to park you in this location 521 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,559 as its restrictions do not allow your vehicle type. 522 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,799 Please look for alternative parking locations nearby. 523 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:51,559 Thank you for calling 524 00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:53,720 Westminster's pay-to-park service. 525 00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:55,559 To find out more available ways to pay, 526 00:21:55,559 --> 00:21:57,359 change your card or vehicle details... 527 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,400 What is going on? 528 00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,880 ...or download VAT receipts. 529 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,839 Please visit www... 530 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,079 [marching band music playing] 531 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,279 Enter your card's expiry date 532 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,839 exactly as printed on the front of the card. 533 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,440 To find out more about alternative ways to pay, 534 00:22:13,519 --> 00:22:15,880 change your card or vehicle details or... 535 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,880 Shut up. 536 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,759 Right. 537 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,480 That's that done. 538 00:22:21,559 --> 00:22:24,319 Ten quid just to park here for an hour. 539 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,480 Hello. 540 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,359 [director] What are you doing? 541 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,039 [Kaleb] Trying to open the door. 542 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:33,720 [director] Why? 543 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,279 I haven't got any gloves and it's London. 544 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:38,559 How are you doing? Are you all right? 545 00:22:38,599 --> 00:22:40,559 I've got some wasabi for you... 546 00:22:40,599 --> 00:22:41,960 -Oh, la, la, la, la, la. -...off the farm. 547 00:22:42,039 --> 00:22:42,880 Yep. 548 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:43,880 So... 549 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,160 -[Kaleb] Jesus! 550 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,680 -[chef] Have you tried your wasabi? 551 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,920 -To eat? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. 552 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,279 I like it. I didn't have it on any fish, mind. 553 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,039 I had it on, like, a ready salted crisp. 554 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,240 Yeah. 555 00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:04,240 I'm more like a roast dinner chap, you know? 556 00:23:04,319 --> 00:23:06,119 -Mm-hmm. -A proper roast dinner. 557 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,279 Well, we try, yeah, your wasabi. 558 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,359 Nice, like, creamy. I can smell. 559 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,000 Nice one, nice one. Very good, very good. 560 00:23:17,079 --> 00:23:18,799 And do you want to buy the wasabi? 561 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,559 Are you interested in-- 562 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,599 Not too much. Not too much. 563 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:24,359 If you look at it, though, 564 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,240 it's top-quality Chadlington wasabi, that. 565 00:23:27,279 --> 00:23:30,079 Quality good, right. 566 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,160 But the wastage, there's so 567 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,920 much wastage because of the size. 568 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:34,799 [Kaleb] Yeah. 569 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,160 [chef] So, we need to have, like, a bigger 570 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,880 size, otherwise, like, too much. 571 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,440 -Too much waste? -[chef] Yeah. 572 00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:40,920 Ah, right. Okey-dokey. 573 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,680 -Well, thank you very much for everything. 574 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,759 -Thank you very much. 575 00:23:43,799 --> 00:23:45,519 -I'll try my best to grow a bigger one. 576 00:23:45,559 --> 00:23:46,599 -Good stuff. 577 00:23:50,319 --> 00:23:51,400 Oh, no! 578 00:23:57,799 --> 00:23:59,279 Sixty-five quid? 579 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,119 Full charge 130 quid? 580 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,000 Oh! 581 00:24:08,079 --> 00:24:10,240 [country music playing] 582 00:24:10,319 --> 00:24:10,960 [Jeremy] With Kaleb 583 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,240 losing the profits he hadn't made, 584 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:18,680 I was busy regretting planting so many different vegetables. 585 00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:22,519 Broad beans, beetroots, chard, peas, swede, 586 00:24:22,599 --> 00:24:25,519 kohlrabi, turnip, cabbage, leeks, pak choi, 587 00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:28,240 rhubarb, broccoli, cauliflower, kale and marrow. 588 00:24:28,319 --> 00:24:30,559 Yeah. Now, the government has a code, 589 00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:31,359 obviously, for all of those. 590 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,680 -Yeah. -Broad beans has got a code? 591 00:24:33,759 --> 00:24:35,079 Broad beans has a code. 592 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,400 -I have to look those codes up. -Yeah, look them up. 593 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,759 And then tell them exactly how much. 594 00:24:39,799 --> 00:24:41,279 What do they want it, in centimeters? 595 00:24:41,319 --> 00:24:43,480 -Square meters will be fine. -Square meters. 596 00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:45,400 You've got to do it to four decimal places. 597 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,079 If you see, we've got four decimal places. 598 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,599 They want it to with-- They want it that tight? 599 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,599 Yeah, it's very accurate now. 600 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,359 Can't you just write vegetables? Can we guess? 601 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:55,359 There isn't just-- 602 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,079 Uh, you could, but then if you're wrong, 603 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,160 they might implement a penalty, 604 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:01,559 and, you know, 605 00:25:01,599 --> 00:25:03,640 they have got eyes in the sky now, 606 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,680 so, you know, there's satellite images. 607 00:25:05,759 --> 00:25:07,400 Are you telling me 608 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,359 the British government 609 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,480 is photographing my farm from space 610 00:25:12,519 --> 00:25:14,680 to see what I'm growing and doing with it? 611 00:25:14,759 --> 00:25:15,839 Absolutely. 612 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,440 [marching band music playing] 613 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,279 [Jeremy] Desperate to make some money from the trip, 614 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,880 Sir Ranulph, aided by his chatty satnav... 615 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,599 [automated female voice] Harley Street, then turn left onto... 616 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,920 [Jeremy] ...was now looking for the next restaurant. 617 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:30,920 [automated female voice] Turn left onto 618 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,000 Curzon Street, then turn... 619 00:25:33,039 --> 00:25:36,039 Head southeast on Stanhope Row towards Shepherd Street, 620 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,960 then turn right onto Hertford Street. 621 00:25:38,039 --> 00:25:39,279 [Kaleb] Oh, my God! 622 00:25:40,319 --> 00:25:41,160 [GPS chimes] 623 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,799 Turn left onto The Mall. 624 00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:50,160 Oh, look at that. 625 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,039 Is that where the Queen lives, in there? 626 00:25:54,759 --> 00:25:56,640 [Jeremy] At the next restaurant... 627 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,079 What have you got to offer? 628 00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:59,359 This is the wasabi 629 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:00,920 that's grown on the farm in Chadlington. 630 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,960 -Do you know where Chadlington is? 631 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,720 -Chipping Norton? -No. 632 00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:07,079 [Jeremy] Kaleb was in full salesman mode. 633 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,279 I've been told, come away from my boss, £300 a kg. 634 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,839 £300 a kg? You're dreaming, mate. 635 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,079 Let's have a look here and see 636 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,720 what you've actually managed to produce, eh? 637 00:26:17,799 --> 00:26:19,000 -[Kaleb] Yeah, let's have a look. 638 00:26:19,039 --> 00:26:19,880 -So, there you go. 639 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,160 204 grams. 640 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,519 Really, if you're gonna clean it down 641 00:26:23,599 --> 00:26:26,240 you've probably got more like 150 grams, let's be honest. 642 00:26:26,319 --> 00:26:28,240 Yeah, all right. 150 grams. 643 00:26:28,319 --> 00:26:30,680 -What's that? A tenner? -Eh? 644 00:26:30,759 --> 00:26:33,160 I'll give you ten quid for it, mate. That's a good deal. 645 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,400 I reckon we do a deal. Go £15. 646 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,319 -I'll give you ten, mate. -Twelve. 647 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:38,920 Ten it is. 648 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:39,920 Okay, deal. 649 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,759 It just cost me £10 to park. 650 00:26:41,839 --> 00:26:43,599 There you go. You pay your parking for free. 651 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,240 [GPS chimes] 652 00:26:49,319 --> 00:26:51,160 [automated female voice] In 200 yards, turn left onto 653 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,559 Lancaster Place. A301. 654 00:26:53,599 --> 00:26:56,799 Uh, we are off to the Shard now. 655 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,480 Something called the Shard. 656 00:26:58,559 --> 00:27:02,119 I want to get in there, get it sold, get out of there, go home. 657 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,279 I've had enough. 658 00:27:04,559 --> 00:27:07,279 [Jeremy] This is probably a good time to reveal 659 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:12,160 that the only thing Kaleb hates more than cities is heights. 660 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,920 Oh, don't tell me that's the Shard. You are winding me up. 661 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,480 Oh, Jesus! 662 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,720 Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 663 00:27:22,079 --> 00:27:23,599 [elevator beeping] 664 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,359 Oh! Don't look at the levels, 665 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,000 don't look at the levels, don't look at the levels. 666 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,839 [automated female voice] 32nd floor. 667 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,440 [groans] 668 00:27:36,519 --> 00:27:37,680 That's horrible. 669 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,920 -Doors open. -[groans] 670 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,319 [Jeremy] Still, at least the trip was completely pointless. 671 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,640 £25, 100 grams. 672 00:27:50,319 --> 00:27:52,400 -Let me digest that and I'll-- -[Kaleb] Yeah? 673 00:27:52,519 --> 00:27:53,960 Yeah, I'll give you a call. 674 00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:55,359 -You're sure you don't want to buy it now? 675 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,680 -Unfortunately, not now, no. 676 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,880 Shit! Okey-dokey. Cheers. 677 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,000 -[cell phone rings] -Mum. 678 00:28:03,079 --> 00:28:05,039 Hello. My signal is bad. 679 00:28:05,839 --> 00:28:07,039 I'm up the Shard. 680 00:28:07,559 --> 00:28:08,519 Ever heard of it? 681 00:28:08,599 --> 00:28:11,400 It's like a big building in London. It's not very good. 682 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,559 It's like 1,000 feet up in the air. 683 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,880 Look, I've got to go, all right? 684 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,799 -[director] Who was that, Kaleb? -That was my mum. 685 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,160 She was worried about me. 686 00:28:21,279 --> 00:28:22,559 [chuckles] 687 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,599 She's seen me on the family map thing and said, 688 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,359 "Why are you in London?" I'm like, "I'm up the Shard." 689 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,240 She goes, "Where?" "The Shard in London." 690 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,960 I must admit, it's quite a nice view, actually. 691 00:28:36,039 --> 00:28:39,039 It would be better if there was, like, a farm, fields, hills. 692 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,240 -[director] Are you all right? -No, not really. 693 00:28:43,319 --> 00:28:45,279 Today I have made... 694 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,119 nothing. 695 00:28:50,359 --> 00:28:53,559 [gospel music playing] 696 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,440 [Jeremy] After Kaleb's failure to sell the wasabi in London, 697 00:28:57,519 --> 00:28:59,039 we put it in the farm shop... 698 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,799 where it rotted. 699 00:29:03,039 --> 00:29:05,200 And that wasn't the end of the bad news. 700 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,039 God above! 701 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,519 Because Lisa's definition of local produce 702 00:29:11,599 --> 00:29:14,400 had come to the attention of the authorities. 703 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,200 I've had an annoying email from the council 704 00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,799 which says that, um, 705 00:29:21,839 --> 00:29:24,680 the stuff we sell in the farm shop 706 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,119 has to be from a producer 707 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,359 based solely within 708 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,039 West Oxfordshire's district boundaries 709 00:29:30,079 --> 00:29:33,559 and they're saying that some of the pâté 710 00:29:33,599 --> 00:29:35,119 and cheese and what-have-you 711 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,359 is from Gloucestershire. 712 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,519 I mean, there's a pandemic going on. 713 00:29:38,599 --> 00:29:41,160 Millions of people are unemployed. 714 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,759 We have a little business that 715 00:29:42,799 --> 00:29:45,319 now has five people on the payroll, 716 00:29:46,319 --> 00:29:48,799 we're supporting local farms and local businesses 717 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:49,960 and now we have to have 718 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,279 an enforcement case opened on us. 719 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,319 I mean, God, give me strength! 720 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,440 [country music playing] 721 00:29:59,519 --> 00:30:03,000 Fortunately, I had already had a genius idea 722 00:30:03,079 --> 00:30:06,200 for making the produce very local. 723 00:30:06,279 --> 00:30:10,480 All right. I put the bee honeycomb stuff. 724 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:15,319 I'd decided to turn my spare beeswax into scented candles. 725 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:16,599 Oh! 726 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:21,039 Taking my inspiration for the scent from a Hollywood A-lister. 727 00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,599 What do you think of that? 728 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:24,680 [gasps] 729 00:30:25,839 --> 00:30:27,480 And not just lavender. 730 00:30:29,319 --> 00:30:30,599 A spring onion. 731 00:30:34,519 --> 00:30:36,440 Just a hint of broad bean. 732 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,279 And there we are. 733 00:30:42,559 --> 00:30:43,759 Let that set. 734 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:51,000 At the shop, Lisa was delighted with the results. 735 00:30:51,079 --> 00:30:56,559 You cannot label that "This smells like my bollocks." 736 00:30:57,559 --> 00:30:58,680 You just can't. 737 00:30:59,359 --> 00:31:01,279 Gwyneth Paltrow has made a fortune 738 00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:03,440 from her candles which smell like her... 739 00:31:03,519 --> 00:31:05,000 [mouthing] vagina. 740 00:31:05,079 --> 00:31:06,200 Do you think these will sell more 741 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,759 because it smells like your bollocks? 742 00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:10,240 [Jeremy] I've also-- Look, "These beeswax scented candles 743 00:31:10,319 --> 00:31:11,720 were handmade by Jeremy Clarkson. 744 00:31:11,799 --> 00:31:13,359 You'd never know it, but it's true," 745 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,559 and I've signed it to prove I made them. 746 00:31:16,279 --> 00:31:18,279 [country music playing] 747 00:31:18,359 --> 00:31:21,119 Meanwhile, down at the trout pond, 748 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,559 Kaleb, now safely back in his natural habitat, 749 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,720 was busy protecting another source of revenue. 750 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,759 [Kaleb] I am putting a fence up. An electric fence up. 751 00:31:32,839 --> 00:31:36,359 We've seen a couple of dead fish on the side. 752 00:31:38,519 --> 00:31:42,759 Oh, poor fishy. It's got some puncture wounds on it. 753 00:31:42,839 --> 00:31:47,400 So, Jeremy put a trap camera down here 754 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,240 to see what was causing the fish to die. 755 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,200 Turned out there was an otter. 756 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,359 So, I'm putting up an electric fence 757 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,000 around the outside of the pond where the fish are, 758 00:32:01,079 --> 00:32:03,640 to try and stop that otter getting in. 759 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,839 But we've also had to put this up because 760 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,119 the heron keeps coming in. 761 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,119 That's another thing that will take a fish. 762 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,920 So, I've had to put this fence up, 763 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,799 put the owl up to try and scare the heron away... 764 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:17,279 [grunts] 765 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,559 and put a metal man up 766 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,640 to try and deter him as well. 767 00:32:23,759 --> 00:32:25,599 There's a lot of work in fish. 768 00:32:26,279 --> 00:32:30,279 [country music playing] 769 00:32:30,359 --> 00:32:32,279 [Jeremy] A week later, my local pub 770 00:32:32,319 --> 00:32:34,759 agreed to put our trout on its menu. 771 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,680 So, I went down to the pond with a net, 772 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,200 feeling weirdly conflicted. 773 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,039 -The only reason this fence is here... 774 00:32:43,079 --> 00:32:43,680 -Yeah. 775 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,759 ...is to stop the otter eating the fish, 776 00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:47,839 so we can sell them to rich people in the pub. 777 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:48,759 [Lisa] Yeah. 778 00:32:48,839 --> 00:32:50,880 The whole point of this was wilding. 779 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:54,559 [Jeremy] I then decided I didn't really care about that, 780 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,160 so we got to work. 781 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,079 [whispering] You throw some food in. 782 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,279 -[whispering] Put the food in first? 783 00:32:59,319 --> 00:32:59,960 -Yeah. 784 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,079 Yeah. 785 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,319 Then I'll be ready to pounce with the net. 786 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,519 Fish, fish, fish, fish. 787 00:33:05,599 --> 00:33:07,720 You can't call them. They're not like dogs. 788 00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:08,839 Well, I do normally. 789 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,880 [Jeremy] Right. You can see where my net's gonna go in? 790 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:11,079 -Yeah. 791 00:33:11,119 --> 00:33:12,640 -That's where you've got to chuck it. 792 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,440 I need to get them food first. Fish, fish. 793 00:33:14,519 --> 00:33:16,559 No. Fish, please, please. 794 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:17,160 -Will you just put it where the net is? 795 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:18,880 -Okay, fine. There. 796 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,039 -Thank you. -See, they know you're there. 797 00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:24,640 They don't-- They're not Stephen Hawking. 798 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,240 Shit! 799 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,480 [sighs] 800 00:33:33,559 --> 00:33:35,000 -Ready? -No. 801 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:37,400 Steady and go. 802 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,119 -[Lisa] Oh, dear, I think I've got some. 803 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,200 -Oh, well done. 804 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,119 [Lisa] Oh, my God! Yeah, I've got like... 805 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,839 [Jeremy] Quickly, in the bucket, before they do dying. 806 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:44,960 [Lisa] ...eight. Oh! 807 00:33:45,039 --> 00:33:45,920 [country music playing] 808 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,720 [Jeremy] Thanks to my accuracy with the fish food, 809 00:33:48,799 --> 00:33:51,079 Lisa had landed a good catch. 810 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,920 [Lisa] That's awesome. My God, they just look delicious. 811 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,559 Now we've got to get them to the pub. 812 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:56,920 Come on, because it's lunchtime in a minute. 813 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,000 Okay. 814 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,519 They've got to go in there and then, hilariously, 815 00:34:01,599 --> 00:34:06,319 the law of England says they have to be oxygenated. 816 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:07,839 So, I have to have an oxygen tank 817 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,519 to keep the water oxygenated 818 00:34:09,559 --> 00:34:11,760 for the, what is it, six-minute journey, 819 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,159 seven-minute journey to the pub 820 00:34:13,159 --> 00:34:14,920 where they're going to be killed. 821 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,079 Right. 822 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,400 [country music playing] 823 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,000 Very steep. Sorry about this, fishes. 824 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,119 Come on, car. You know you can do it. 825 00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:27,679 You know you want to do it. 826 00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:38,480 Delivered fish before, of course, in, um, Mozambique. 827 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:40,800 That went well. 828 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:45,519 All right, it's heavy. 829 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,000 Vincent, look what I've got. 830 00:34:50,079 --> 00:34:51,159 Wow! 831 00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:53,400 [Jeremy] Just caught them a minute ago. 832 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,880 -Trout. -Baby trout? 833 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,840 Well, you say that. Succulent. 834 00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,480 That's the one. That's got the-- 835 00:34:59,559 --> 00:35:02,119 you can just turn him over. 836 00:35:02,199 --> 00:35:04,679 That's where the heron's beak nearly got him, 837 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,400 so he's a lucky fish. 838 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,480 [man laughs] Not for long, not for long. 839 00:35:09,599 --> 00:35:11,280 [Jeremy] And they're two quid each. 840 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:11,960 -Let's get them inside then. All right. 841 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,440 -All right, you do that. 842 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,320 -Yeah. -All right, chaps. Bye, fish. 843 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:16,519 Yeah, take care. 844 00:35:16,599 --> 00:35:18,639 [banjo music playing] 845 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,360 [Jeremy] As June ended, my new farm projects 846 00:35:24,679 --> 00:35:27,760 were starting to tick over quite nicely. 847 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,079 -Hello. How are you? -Hello. I'm good. You? 848 00:35:31,159 --> 00:35:32,159 Good, good. Fine, thanks. 849 00:35:32,199 --> 00:35:34,400 Super. I've got some bags here. 850 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,760 [Jeremy] Thanks to a brief respite from lockdown, 851 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,440 more people were visiting the farm shop. 852 00:35:40,519 --> 00:35:42,400 [Lisa] It's really good to be finally open. 853 00:35:43,679 --> 00:35:47,440 [Jeremy] And the pub had more customers for our trout. 854 00:35:47,519 --> 00:35:50,679 [dramatic music playing] 855 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,039 However, these ventures were all sideshows 856 00:35:54,079 --> 00:35:56,519 compared to the main event. 857 00:35:56,559 --> 00:35:58,639 The engine room of the farm. 858 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:01,639 The crops. 859 00:36:01,679 --> 00:36:05,400 Which had been in the ground now for eight months. 860 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,199 [dramatic music playing] 861 00:36:40,039 --> 00:36:41,280 For most of that time, 862 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,960 nature had been a vindictive bastard. 863 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:49,480 But somehow, the barley wasn't all completely ruined. 864 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,280 [Charlie] Actually, it looks okay. It looks pretty good. 865 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,800 Given the year it's had, you know, it was late drilled. 866 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,639 -Very late. -Really wet. 867 00:37:01,679 --> 00:37:03,039 Very wet. 868 00:37:03,119 --> 00:37:04,400 Really dry. 869 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:05,679 Then it was very hot. 870 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,599 And actually, you know, it's a perfectly good crop of barley. 871 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,920 [Jeremy] Charlie then announced that harvesting was imminent. 872 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,320 Probably four or five, five or six days away. 873 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,039 -There's a bit of green on the stem. 874 00:37:17,079 --> 00:37:18,119 -Oh, really? 875 00:37:18,159 --> 00:37:19,960 Yeah. This is the worst bit. The middle. 876 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,840 The rest of it is pretty ready. 877 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:23,079 -Really? -Yeah. 878 00:37:23,639 --> 00:37:26,159 [country music playing] 879 00:37:26,199 --> 00:37:28,480 [Jeremy] We then moved onto the next crop. 880 00:37:28,559 --> 00:37:31,320 [Charlie] So, this is oil seed rape, as you well know. 881 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:32,320 [Jeremy] Yes. 882 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,360 [Charlie] And these are the oil seed. They come out of the pods 883 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,800 and they should be nice and black all over. 884 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,360 Mmm, it's a few days. 885 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,639 It's probably a good ten days away yet. 886 00:37:41,639 --> 00:37:42,760 -Ten days? -Ten days. 887 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,639 -And then we can harvest it? -Then we can harvest it. 888 00:37:45,679 --> 00:37:46,880 Excellent. So, is there 889 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,119 anything else left to do with this? 890 00:37:49,159 --> 00:37:50,880 Kill it, to make sure it's dead. 891 00:37:52,159 --> 00:37:53,159 I'm sorry? 892 00:37:53,199 --> 00:37:55,599 Well, I know it sounds a little bizarre. 893 00:37:56,679 --> 00:37:59,760 The rape is dying naturally and the top is ready, 894 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,880 but the bottom is still very much alive. 895 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,960 But you're saying you want to kill off 896 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,639 the living bit of the oil seed rape? 897 00:38:06,639 --> 00:38:07,800 -The living bit of the oil seed rape. 898 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:08,199 -Why? 899 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,159 Because it will, 900 00:38:10,159 --> 00:38:12,199 it just makes it easier to cut the crop. 901 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,480 So, what does a combine do? It comes on, cuts it there. 902 00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:16,320 It cuts that, so that'll, you know, the knife. 903 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:17,280 Right, which could do that. 904 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,039 Or do you want it-- Is it easier when it's dead? 905 00:38:19,119 --> 00:38:20,159 -It's easier, much easier when it's dead. 906 00:38:20,199 --> 00:38:20,840 -Okay. 907 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,199 [Charlie] Much, much easier when it's dead. 908 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,679 And we're not killing the seeds, because the seed's encapsulated. 909 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,760 [Jeremy] So we just drive a harvester through it? 910 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,000 Yeah. Have you got one? 911 00:38:29,079 --> 00:38:31,440 -No. We're gonna rent one. -Very good. 912 00:38:31,519 --> 00:38:32,639 -So, you've got a contractor coming in? 913 00:38:32,679 --> 00:38:33,079 -Yep. 914 00:38:33,119 --> 00:38:35,400 -A few things to be wary. -Yeah. 915 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,880 Moisture. 916 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,280 -Moisture? -Moisture. 917 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,440 It needs to be between six and nine percent. 918 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:42,960 So, moisture is the main thing 919 00:38:43,039 --> 00:38:46,559 and the contractor will possibly want to just say, 920 00:38:46,639 --> 00:38:48,960 "Oh, it's only ten and a half percent, 921 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,159 we'll come and combine," 922 00:38:50,159 --> 00:38:51,840 and you say "No." 923 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,280 I said you say... 924 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:54,280 You say? 925 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,360 -I won't be here. -Can you imagine-- Can you-- 926 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,000 What do you mean, you won't be here? 927 00:38:58,079 --> 00:38:59,800 -I'm going on holiday. -What? 928 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,400 Well, you'll be fine. 929 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,000 You don't need me by then. You'll be fine. 930 00:39:03,079 --> 00:39:04,360 -I do need you. -You'll be fine. 931 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,159 Hold on a minute. 932 00:39:05,159 --> 00:39:07,280 All this and then it comes to harvest... 933 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,159 [laughs] 934 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,840 I'm no use. Like, what do you want me for? 935 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,039 Well, how am I gonna be able to tell 936 00:39:12,119 --> 00:39:12,760 whether that's got three 937 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,960 percent moisture or 17 percent? 938 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 Well, you put it in your moisture meter. 939 00:39:17,079 --> 00:39:18,920 Is there a moisture-o-meter for that? 940 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,559 -Have you not got a moisture meter? 941 00:39:20,599 --> 00:39:21,960 -No. 942 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,159 Ah. 943 00:39:23,199 --> 00:39:25,039 Oh, God! 944 00:39:25,119 --> 00:39:26,880 [dramatic music playing] 945 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:28,800 [Jeremy] My first harvest. 946 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,880 This is so much harder. 947 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,159 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 948 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:34,519 Wait, wait! Whoa! 949 00:39:34,599 --> 00:39:37,360 [indistinct] 950 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,440 [Jeremy] I have no idea. 951 00:39:38,519 --> 00:39:40,159 Twenty lorries you should have organized. 952 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:41,280 Twenty lorries? 953 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,079 Twenty lorries. And it's gonna rain tonight. 954 00:39:43,519 --> 00:39:44,519 You've fucked up. 955 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,480 [music playing]