1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,120 [music playing] 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,240 [birds chirping and wings flapping] 3 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,719 [sheep bleating] 4 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,440 [Jeremy] On my farm, most of the land is used to grow crops. 5 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:31,879 But not all of it. 6 00:00:33,799 --> 00:00:37,039 Nearly 300 acres is like this, natural, 7 00:00:38,759 --> 00:00:39,679 wild, 8 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,359 and teeming with rare grasses, with flowers, 9 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,200 and bees. 10 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,920 This part of the farm is so ecological and diverse 11 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,079 and sustainable and good for global warming. 12 00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:56,679 DEFRA, which is the Department of... 13 00:00:58,479 --> 00:00:59,520 something... 14 00:01:00,039 --> 00:01:01,640 Food and Rural Affairs, 15 00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:03,960 gives me actual cash money 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,719 to not grow crops on it. 17 00:01:06,079 --> 00:01:09,000 All I have to do in return is mow it once a year. 18 00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:10,760 And that gave me an idea. 19 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,400 Instead of using a machine to mow it, 20 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,159 why not use sheep? 21 00:01:15,719 --> 00:01:18,159 Sheep keep everything nice and tidy, 22 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,719 and they fertilize the soil, 23 00:01:19,799 --> 00:01:22,039 and I can sell their babies for profit. 24 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,840 It's a genius business plan. 25 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,439 I'm basically Alan Sugar in wellies. 26 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,039 Having decided to be a sheep farmer, 27 00:01:32,879 --> 00:01:35,879 I went to a nearby market to buy stock, 28 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,640 and immediately there was a problem. 29 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,000 Well, I mean I'm just completely at a loss. 30 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:55,359 I'm at a loss. I don't know... 31 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:05,879 Are they the same as them? 32 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,319 I know how my mum felt when she was trying to buy a car. 33 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,960 They all look exactly the same. 34 00:02:12,039 --> 00:02:13,080 Or my dad, 35 00:02:13,439 --> 00:02:15,240 when he was listening to pop music. 36 00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:17,960 Spice Girls, Led Zeppelin, all the same to him. 37 00:02:19,079 --> 00:02:22,000 To guide me through this woolly labyrinth 38 00:02:22,079 --> 00:02:25,159 I spoke to Kevin from the National Sheep Association, 39 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,319 which hilariously is known as the NSA. 40 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,599 Is there like, a Freesian Bull Institute? 41 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,439 Like FBI and CIA and NSA? 42 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,120 I can't say too much about it. 43 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,599 The NSA, that's just brilliant. 44 00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:44,120 Have you looked after sheep before? 45 00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:45,879 No? 46 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,599 So you want something that's gonna look after you 47 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:48,840 as well as you looking after them. 48 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,800 Right, so, but these are all lady sheep, aren't they? 49 00:02:51,879 --> 00:02:52,719 Yes. 50 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,800 So, if I buy 80 sheeps... 51 00:02:54,879 --> 00:02:55,719 Yeah. 52 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,560 How many man sheeps do I need? 53 00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:58,840 -Uh... -Eighty? 54 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,120 Well, you could get away with one, 55 00:03:01,199 --> 00:03:04,240 but then you might have a risk if there was a problem with that ram. 56 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:05,800 But he's got to... mmm... 57 00:03:05,879 --> 00:03:10,199 Yeah, so I would go over... probably err on the side of caution and go for two. 58 00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:16,000 What? So each man sheep will impregnate 40 lady sheeps. 59 00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:17,240 Yeah, easily, yeah. 60 00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:19,680 Not a bad job. 61 00:03:19,759 --> 00:03:21,079 In a very short space of time as well. 62 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,240 [Jeremy] We then had to decide what sort of lady sheep would be best. 63 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,599 Well, what you can see here, 64 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,759 you've got a lot of north country mules. 65 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,439 North country mules is a good sheep that will look after you as well. 66 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,560 Um, it creates a really good mum. 67 00:03:36,639 --> 00:03:37,800 She gets plenty of milk, 68 00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:38,840 plenty of lambs. 69 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,960 They lamb quite easily and nicely, 70 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,639 and it wouldn't be a bad shout as a sort of start off... 71 00:03:43,719 --> 00:03:46,079 North, right, so a north country, 72 00:03:46,639 --> 00:03:48,079 north face, north-kin. 73 00:03:48,159 --> 00:03:49,479 North country mule. 74 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,479 Right. 75 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:56,400 [Jeremy] We then had to decide which north country mules would be best. 76 00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:59,439 [Kevin] So you got yourself a catalogue? 77 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,080 Um, yeah, no. 78 00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:02,000 No, right. 79 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,319 So you need to get a catalogue, 80 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,599 and that will give you a list, 81 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,120 so you can see who they are, where they are. 82 00:04:07,199 --> 00:04:09,280 [Jeremy] This one's electric fence trained. 83 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,080 [Kevin] Well, have you got fences? 84 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,080 Not really. 85 00:04:13,159 --> 00:04:14,639 No? How are you going to keep them in? 86 00:04:14,719 --> 00:04:15,560 Walls. 87 00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:16,879 They could jump the walls. 88 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:18,240 They can't jump a wall. 89 00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:21,079 -Well, how big's your wall? -About that big. 90 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,120 [Kevin] Well, it's hardly Mexico, is it? 91 00:04:25,879 --> 00:04:27,360 [Jeremy] Kevin had assured me 92 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,920 that north country mules are very calm sheep, 93 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,360 but when they came into the auction ring 94 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,600 there was some evidence to suggest that they're not. 95 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,920 Oh! 96 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,519 Ohh! 97 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,639 Still, at least the auctioneer was easy to understand. 98 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,600 [auctioneer speaking indistinctly] 99 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,240 [Jeremy] By nodding occasionally, I seem to be buying stuff. 100 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,240 133. 134. 134.5. 101 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,439 [Jeremy] And I was. 102 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:06,120 Yes. 103 00:05:06,199 --> 00:05:10,680 [Jeremy] At the end of the sale, I had spent a whopping £11,000. 104 00:05:10,759 --> 00:05:13,920 But on the upside, I was now a sheep farmer. 105 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,240 Thirty, 40, 50. 60, 78. 106 00:05:16,319 --> 00:05:18,240 Seventy eight sheep. We're there. 107 00:05:22,759 --> 00:05:26,079 [Jeremy] Because Kevin had told me that sheep can jump over walls, 108 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,360 I then had to spend another £2,700 109 00:05:30,439 --> 00:05:32,560 on a self-assembly electric fence. 110 00:05:34,639 --> 00:05:35,959 Now what they want me to do 111 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,879 is walk around the field with this three times. 112 00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:42,040 Well, I'm not going to. 113 00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:48,560 God, I'm clever. 114 00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:54,399 Rightio. Is this what it's like? 115 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,680 Green. That's the earth, good. 116 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,199 Red, 117 00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:00,600 onto the fence. 118 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:03,160 And then these go onto the battery. 119 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,879 Here we go. 120 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,079 Uh, could be. 121 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,519 Ow! [exclaims] 122 00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:18,879 Ah! 123 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,439 Ah! 124 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,399 You bastard! 125 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,120 Stupid. 126 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:26,800 Right. Now, that. 127 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,319 RIght, here we go, here we go. 128 00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:33,000 This time the zoo is going to be operational. 129 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,920 With this feat of engineering completed, 130 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,199 I was ready for the arrival of my new flock. 131 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,319 Oh, what the hell, 132 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,879 here they come. 133 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,480 Look at that. 134 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,560 And straight into my hotel. 135 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,160 Yeah! 136 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,160 -So that's it? -[man] That's it. 137 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,680 -Are they going to be happy? -They look very happy. 138 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,920 I'm sure they will be. 139 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,480 [Jeremy] And what have we got to do first of all? Worm them? 140 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,399 [man 1] Worm them first. Yeah. 141 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,519 [man 2] And look after them. 142 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,240 [Jeremy] You know they're gonna get looked after. 143 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,560 -Well, thanks very much. -[man 2] Yep. 144 00:07:17,639 --> 00:07:19,560 Take, take care of yourselves. Thank you. Safe trip. 145 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,800 -Enjoy them. -Yeah, I'm going to actually. 146 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,639 It's quite a nice thing, really. 147 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,759 A very nice thing to be leaning on the gate, 148 00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:33,319 looking at my new sheeps. 149 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,800 [sheep bleating] 150 00:07:40,639 --> 00:07:43,040 [country rock music playing] 151 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,079 [Jeremy] After a few days of tractoring, 152 00:07:49,879 --> 00:07:53,360 I return to the sheep for my first big job. 153 00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:55,360 Hello sheeps. 154 00:07:56,279 --> 00:07:57,800 Right, this field, 155 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:03,319 with the sheeps in it, is now full of diseased feces. 156 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,240 Because the sheeps have been wormed, 157 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,879 the worms have come out, 158 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,879 and now I've got to take all that electric fence up again 159 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,920 and re-build it somewhere else 160 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,160 and then move the sheeps into that field. 161 00:08:20,519 --> 00:08:24,000 To move sheep around, you normally use a sheep dog. 162 00:08:24,439 --> 00:08:28,959 But I didn't have one of those, so I came up with another solution. 163 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,000 [automated voice] Take off. 164 00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:34,720 Up, 165 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,159 down, 166 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,320 swivel, swivel. 167 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,399 Clever thing about this drone. 168 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:44,279 It was designed for work in search and rescue, 169 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,879 so it's got a speaker on it, just here, 170 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,120 which can transmit messages to stranded climbers and hikers. 171 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:53,639 But, I've modified the message, as I'm using it as a sheep drone. 172 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:54,840 So, ready. 173 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,759 [drone barking] 174 00:09:01,879 --> 00:09:05,279 It flies around, herds the sheep, barking at them. 175 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,320 They think it's an airborne dog. 176 00:09:09,039 --> 00:09:09,879 Right. 177 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,480 Let's go round up some sheep. 178 00:09:13,879 --> 00:09:16,240 So, you know, a really good sheep dog these days 179 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,639 will set you back £20,000, 180 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,720 and you won't be able to use it for six months till it gets used to you. 181 00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:24,240 This only cost £2,500. 182 00:09:25,759 --> 00:09:27,879 And it was money well spent. 183 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,279 Look, it is working. 184 00:09:30,879 --> 00:09:31,960 Look at it! 185 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,639 Yes, come on, through the gate, through the gate, through the gate. 186 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,759 They're heading for the gate, heading for the gate. 187 00:09:37,639 --> 00:09:40,200 With no help from my girlfriend Lisa. 188 00:09:40,759 --> 00:09:42,000 [Lisa] They can jump. 189 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,600 [Jeremy] I got them going in the right direction. 190 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:46,720 [Lisa] Go on, off you go. 191 00:09:47,519 --> 00:09:49,320 [Jeremy] Yes, lovely. Look. 192 00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:51,960 [drone continues barking] 193 00:09:53,519 --> 00:09:57,320 In just 25 minutes, I've completely mastered sheeping. 194 00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:01,720 [Lisa] Jeremy, you're going too fast, I can't stop them going into the village. 195 00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:04,399 [Jeremy] Oh, darn. Shit. 196 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,600 [Lisa] Jesus, calm down. 197 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,759 [Jeremy] For heaven's... please stop. 198 00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:10,240 [man] Get up there. 199 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,840 [Jeremy] Then, with no help from the film crew... 200 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,080 [man] Quickly. 201 00:10:15,159 --> 00:10:17,960 [Jeremy] I finally got them into their new field. 202 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,440 Phew. I'm gonna have a coronary... 203 00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,840 How fast do they move? I mean, this thing is good. 204 00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:29,879 I mean, as you know, I'm an incredible athlete, 205 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,240 and can run at phenomenal speeds, but I can't keep up with the sheep. 206 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,200 [laughing] I was too surprised. I did not expect that. 207 00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:37,639 Is that fence on? 208 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,080 I don't... I'm not gonna check it, am I? 209 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,960 Just grab it. Grab a long piece of grass. 210 00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:42,080 Okay, okay, okay. 211 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,519 -And if you touch the end... -Yep. 212 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,639 ...you'll... you'll feel something very gentle. 213 00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:50,120 Ooh, oh, yeah. It's on. 214 00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:54,600 -Just... -Ha-ha. 215 00:10:54,639 --> 00:10:56,240 -That's on, then. -Your fault, right? 216 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,240 -Ooh, am I gonna get you back. Ha-ha. -[laughs] 217 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,080 Oh, it's properly hard work. 218 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:10,159 Despite my exhaustion, I had to get back to tractoring 219 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,399 and didn't see the sheep again for two days. 220 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,679 Oh, no, there's a lame one. 221 00:11:20,759 --> 00:11:23,919 Oh, no. There, look. 222 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,600 Yeah, front left leg won't go down. 223 00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:30,519 Oh, there's two that are lame. There are two lame ones. 224 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,080 How have they done that? 225 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,360 The least dangerous field in Christendom. Why have they... 226 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,639 Very worried, I went back to the farm office 227 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,240 and tried to diagnose the problem myself. 228 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,279 -[sighs] -Which was revolting. 229 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,080 Oh, no. 230 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:56,879 Prolapsed vagina. Cervical prolapse. 231 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:01,360 An erupting udder with severe mastitis. 232 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,120 Oh, no, I don't want to have to deal with that. 233 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,200 But I want to know why they're limping, not... 234 00:12:08,279 --> 00:12:11,440 They're not limping because their vagina has exploded, which... 235 00:12:11,519 --> 00:12:14,720 That book's obsessed with sheep's vaginas. 236 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,879 Ah. Common foot problems. CODD. 237 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,799 "Ulcerated area appears at the top of the hoof, 238 00:12:22,879 --> 00:12:26,039 infection spreads under the horn and down to the toe. 239 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,639 The horn detaches and falls off and there's... 240 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,039 Oh, hair loss stretching." 241 00:12:31,799 --> 00:12:35,159 Why can't sheep just get ordinary diseases? 242 00:12:38,519 --> 00:12:40,440 I was out of my depth, 243 00:12:40,519 --> 00:12:44,159 so despite the cost, I had to call in Delwyn the vet. 244 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,879 -Hi there. -Yep. 245 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,799 -Thanks for coming out. -That's okay. 246 00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:53,000 -Are there four broken ones? -Yes. Yes. 247 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,600 I thought there were only two. 248 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,759 No, they've got quite a bit of swelling there. 249 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,879 -You can see where it's bleeding. -Oh, no, it's blood. 250 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:03,320 [Delwyn] Yeah. So, I think what we'll do is we'll put an antibiotic spray on them 251 00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:06,080 and we'll also give them an injection just to kill the pain. 252 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:11,440 [Jeremy] So, erm, I've only got 78 and I've broken four of them. 253 00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:13,960 Don't be hard on yourself, I mean... [laughs] 254 00:13:14,039 --> 00:13:16,600 I don't think you need to worry a huge amount on that front. 255 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,840 Okay, well, I'll let you administer antibiotics. 256 00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:22,960 -Yep. -How much are they? How much is this? 257 00:13:23,039 --> 00:13:24,840 Just so I've got a vague idea. 258 00:13:24,919 --> 00:13:28,200 I'll think of a number and double it, really, and go from there, really. 259 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,840 [soothing music playing] 260 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:45,120 [Jeremy] A few days later, having eaten everything in their new field, 261 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,960 the sheeps needed to be moved again. 262 00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:50,759 [drone barking] 263 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,480 And this time, I discovered 264 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:56,039 that sheep are not only the most sickly animals in the world, 265 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,879 they're also the most disobedient. 266 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,559 [drone continues barking] 267 00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:03,480 They're just ignoring it now, look. 268 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:08,919 Look at the... look right above you. Dog, grr! Fierce dog. 269 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,600 And then, for no reason I could fathom... 270 00:14:15,039 --> 00:14:18,840 No! Don't do that. Oh, shit, you bolly. 271 00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:20,960 Doie! 272 00:14:22,399 --> 00:14:25,120 The honeymoon was clearly over. 273 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,919 No, this way, come on. 274 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,840 Oi! You're going the wrong way again now. 275 00:14:31,919 --> 00:14:34,720 It's like they could sense I was a new boy. 276 00:14:34,799 --> 00:14:37,080 Oh, no. No, they're going back! They just... 277 00:14:37,159 --> 00:14:39,080 Oh, for fucking hell. 278 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:41,480 And they were going to make the most of it. 279 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:45,360 Oh, shit. For heaven's... please stop. 280 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,000 -Right. -[man] Good? 281 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,519 Here we are in the middle of the night, 282 00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:57,440 erm, sorting the sheep out, again. 283 00:14:57,519 --> 00:14:59,960 -[sheep bleating] -[food rattling in bucket] 284 00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:01,120 Sheep! 285 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,200 Sheep! 286 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,799 For fucks sake. 287 00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:11,360 No, no, no, no, no. 288 00:15:12,519 --> 00:15:13,519 Need help. 289 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,200 No, no, no, no, no. 290 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,679 Fuck it, go live in that field, get run over. See if I care. 291 00:15:24,679 --> 00:15:29,480 Oh, fucking hate sheep. I fucking hate them. 292 00:15:29,559 --> 00:15:33,240 I cannot wait to eat them. I cannot wait. 293 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:38,159 Along with the gum chewing insolence, 294 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,639 the sheep were also extremely destructive. 295 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,720 This is stupid. 296 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,840 Still, this relentless vandalism does provide work 297 00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:53,720 for a wonderful local chap called Gerald. 298 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,559 Hi, Gerald. 299 00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:58,840 I love chatting with him, even though most of the time, 300 00:15:58,919 --> 00:16:02,879 I'm never entirely sure what we're chatting about. 301 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,960 So, how's this coming along? 302 00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:08,960 Well, know what that one. I mean, no quite done deed. 303 00:16:09,039 --> 00:16:12,000 I mean, if this is if animals or a horse, so you'll, yeah, push it 304 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,480 and you'll pull a fat load now. 305 00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:17,799 I'll tell you what, there was a quarry, you know, that field's called a quarry. 306 00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:18,720 Yeah, yeah. 307 00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:22,320 [Gerald] And then, then you... [speaking indistinctly] 308 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,440 See what I mean? 309 00:16:23,519 --> 00:16:24,639 Oh, yeah, yeah. 310 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,759 [speaking indistinctly] 311 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:31,440 They put masks on, it's always sort of... 312 00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:35,399 [speaking indistinctly] 313 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,399 [laughing] 314 00:16:38,879 --> 00:16:44,879 [Jeremy] As Gerald has 40 miles of walls to maintain on my farm, I left him to it. 315 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,440 Take care, see you soon. 316 00:16:46,519 --> 00:16:49,480 And got back to the job of sheeping. 317 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,440 So far, the sheeps have been getting their water from a temporary supply, 318 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,679 but now, I wanted to reactivate all the abandoned troughs 319 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:04,519 that were scattered around the farm. 320 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:07,599 Now... 321 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,799 However, when I opened any of the stopcocks... 322 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,079 no water was coming through. 323 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,440 Shit. 324 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:22,319 Feeling like Jean de Florette, I set about investigating the problem. 325 00:17:23,279 --> 00:17:28,960 Right. The good news is my mate Alex who farms over here 326 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:33,480 has given me this map from 1922, 327 00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:37,960 of where all the water pipes are on what was the Sarsden estate, 328 00:17:38,039 --> 00:17:40,039 and this is a part of what was it. 329 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,480 It comes down from that one. 330 00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:54,559 So there is an entire network of very, very old pipes 331 00:17:55,759 --> 00:17:57,279 crisscrossing this farm. 332 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:04,400 Clearly, the first job was finding out if those pipes still existed, 333 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,640 and the crew photographer and part-time druid, Ellis, 334 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,319 suggested I try water divining. 335 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,559 Thumbs at the top, 336 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,960 and then you just let it loose and then basically just do that. 337 00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:21,240 [Jeremy] To humor him, I said I'd wander about with his coat hangers, 338 00:18:21,319 --> 00:18:24,920 but when I passed a trough full of rain water... 339 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,240 Look at that. [gasps] 340 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,559 That is bizarre. 341 00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,000 Look at... look at that. 342 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,079 [laughs] That's astonishing. 343 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,519 The druid also said that when the wires crossed, 344 00:18:41,559 --> 00:18:44,279 I'd be directly above a pipe. 345 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,519 Ooh. 346 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:48,799 Ooh, hello. 347 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,000 Look at... look at this. 348 00:18:52,039 --> 00:18:56,920 Yep, this is exactly where it says on the map that the pipe would be. 349 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:03,079 Having used witchcraft to establish the pipes still exist, 350 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,279 I reckoned that somewhere, there must be a tank that fed them all. 351 00:19:07,319 --> 00:19:11,559 And that, logically, it would be located on high ground. 352 00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:18,319 Make sense that it would be up here 353 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,559 because this is just about the highest point of the farm. 354 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,039 So you'd pump the water up from a stream, 355 00:19:26,319 --> 00:19:30,200 to here, and then let gravity take it back down to all the troughs. 356 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,799 And it also isn't... ooh, hang on. 357 00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:37,400 Hang on. 358 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,960 Okay, that smells pretty bad. 359 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,279 [grunts] 360 00:19:53,039 --> 00:19:58,440 Okay, what we have here is a tank, maybe 4,000 gallons. 361 00:19:58,519 --> 00:20:01,799 What we've got is a pipe coming in, 362 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:07,720 and then about two feet higher, a pipe going out. 363 00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:09,000 [grunts] 364 00:20:09,079 --> 00:20:10,200 [coughs] 365 00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:17,640 To find out if the tank fed the pipes and the troughs, 366 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,400 I needed to send some water through it, 367 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,759 so I called in some locals with a bowser. 368 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,160 [man] Les. [laughs] 369 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:33,559 [chuckles] 370 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,319 He's always amusing himself down there with those diviners. 371 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,279 [Jeremy] Having connected the bowser to what looked like the tank's outlet pipe, 372 00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:45,799 we started pumping. 373 00:20:47,799 --> 00:20:49,279 [motor starts] 374 00:20:50,559 --> 00:20:53,319 Run away, quickly let's leap into our cars. 375 00:20:54,559 --> 00:20:59,480 And then I rushed downhill to see if the water was getting to the troughs. 376 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,319 Right, we are now in a race with gravity. 377 00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:08,519 Someone should do a TV show where cars race unusual things. 378 00:21:20,799 --> 00:21:23,640 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, it works. 379 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:28,559 I then went back to report the good news to the chaps. 380 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,160 So, gravity works... basically. 381 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,960 -[both] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. -We know gravity works... 382 00:21:32,039 --> 00:21:33,319 And your pipe's good as well. 383 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,680 And the pipes are good. 384 00:21:34,759 --> 00:21:37,799 So the underground machine is working, and gravity is working. 385 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,160 -Yeah. -The main problem I can see now is grades, 386 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,039 but this not a permanent solution. 387 00:21:43,079 --> 00:21:46,400 So someone, we've got to fill that tank up 388 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,799 without using a bowser on the back of a trolley van. 389 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,640 [Les] Yeah. 390 00:21:52,759 --> 00:21:55,400 [Jeremy] Sadly, that job would have to wait. 391 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,480 Because it was time for the girl sheep to make some babies. 392 00:22:00,559 --> 00:22:03,680 And the man with the boy sheep had arrived. 393 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,039 That is... Whoa, there's the rams. 394 00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:09,920 The rams. 395 00:22:10,599 --> 00:22:12,720 [Porksman] Hello, boys, how are you doing? 396 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,319 His job is to impregnate sheep and he's called Porksman. 397 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,759 [laughing] 398 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,039 That's it. That will do. 399 00:22:24,519 --> 00:22:26,039 These are pedigree Suffolks. 400 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,119 [Jeremy] Are they violent attack rams? 401 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,640 [Porksman] No, they're not. They are as quiet as mice. 402 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,279 Come on, boys, out you come, don't be shy. 403 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,160 Jeez, I've just seen the back bit. 404 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:39,119 [Porksman] Do you like them? 405 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,799 [Jeremy] Ooh, they are pendulous, aren't they? 406 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,039 [Porksman] Yes. This is gonna be their first breeding season. 407 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,480 -So they... they're virgins. -They are virgins. 408 00:22:46,559 --> 00:22:48,759 [Jeremy] Are they? 'Cause, really, to be... 409 00:22:48,839 --> 00:22:50,519 I don't want to be lavatorial 410 00:22:50,599 --> 00:22:55,519 but rams are just STDs, scrotal transportation devices. 411 00:22:55,599 --> 00:22:57,319 Really, what I've bought are two scrotums. 412 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,559 Yeah, they... it's a fertility machine, isn't it? 413 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,119 -[Jeremy] Yeah, exactly. -Every one of these is gonna produce 414 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,119 -absolutely thousands of sperms a day. -[Jeremy] Yeah. 415 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,720 They would mate three or four a day very happily. 416 00:23:07,799 --> 00:23:12,880 [Jeremy] Mr. Porksman then suggested I test the fire power of my new purchases. 417 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,480 I'm gonna have to get under there and to get round. 418 00:23:16,559 --> 00:23:20,000 Yeah. Do you want... do you want to measure its circumference? 419 00:23:20,079 --> 00:23:23,079 Exactly. Okay, this is not something I thought I'd be doing this morning. 420 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,880 Yes, I know. Yes, I know. 421 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,359 Okay. Gotta hold the scrotal sac at the top. 422 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,240 [Porksman] Yes, is it nice and free? Is it moving nice? 423 00:23:30,319 --> 00:23:32,319 -Are the testes nice and free in the sac? -I'm not sure. 424 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,559 I've got nothing to compare it to. 425 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,720 I've never really fondled anything this size before. 426 00:23:35,799 --> 00:23:40,000 Okay, that is 38-centimeter scrotal sac. 427 00:23:40,079 --> 00:23:41,519 -[Porksman] 35 is... -It says between... 428 00:23:41,599 --> 00:23:44,200 Most rams measure between 30 and 40 centimeters. 429 00:23:44,279 --> 00:23:46,880 -So 38 is good, isn't it? -38 is good. Top end. 430 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,400 Right, we're going to measure you, mate, I'm sorry. 431 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,759 I knew public school education would come in handy. 432 00:23:53,839 --> 00:23:55,559 Okay, now this is... we've got... 433 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,000 -[whispers] Okay, listen... -How many centimeters is this? 434 00:23:58,079 --> 00:24:01,160 [whispering] I don't wanna embarrass one of them. 435 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,880 -Okay. Bigger? -So this one's a centimeter bigger. 436 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,720 -A centimeter bigger. -Shh. 437 00:24:05,799 --> 00:24:06,960 Oh, you don't wanna tell him. 438 00:24:07,039 --> 00:24:09,160 Well, come on, if we got measured and then somebody went, 439 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,319 "You've got the bigger pair," you'd be mortified. 440 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,240 Well, I'd be mortified. 441 00:24:12,319 --> 00:24:14,039 Well, you're going back to your public school days. 442 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,079 -Yeah, exactly. -[laughing] 443 00:24:17,079 --> 00:24:19,680 [atmospheric music playing] 444 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,680 [Jeremy] I left the rams to settle in, 445 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,720 did a bit more tractoring... 446 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,960 and then, a couple of days later, it was time for some sex. 447 00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:38,759 [Kevin] Wee, wee, that'll do, pig. 448 00:24:38,839 --> 00:24:39,880 That'll do, pig. 449 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,440 [Jeremy] Kevin from the NSA and a noisy vet called Jenny 450 00:24:43,519 --> 00:24:45,839 prepared the lady sheep, 451 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:50,039 and whilst doing so, they spotted a problem with three of them. 452 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,759 [Jenny] Yeah, so it looks like we've got an abscess there. 453 00:24:54,839 --> 00:24:56,000 [Kevin] Yeah. 454 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:58,039 [Jenny] So, basically, the udders are shot. 455 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,480 At least one of them each, um, 456 00:25:00,559 --> 00:25:03,519 so not really something we want to send for breeding. 457 00:25:03,599 --> 00:25:05,640 Well, can they still get pregnant? 458 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:10,400 Yes, but for welfare reasons once they lamb 459 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,880 then you've got the limited amount of milk. 460 00:25:13,079 --> 00:25:17,039 Cause we're about to bring old Leonardo and Wayne, as I've called them. 461 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,519 Wayne's going to go after the slightly older ones. 462 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:20,519 [Jenny chuckles] 463 00:25:20,599 --> 00:25:22,799 Leonardo's taking the younger ones. 464 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,200 But we've got to get these three broken ones out, haven't we? 465 00:25:26,319 --> 00:25:27,279 'Cause they can't get pregnant. 466 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,240 [Jenny] Yeah, we don't want them with the rams. 467 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,079 [groovy music playing] 468 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,160 [Jeremy] Before Wayne and Leonardo could be let loose, 469 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,160 we had to get them into some bondage gear. 470 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,039 [Jeremy] What we've got here 471 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,400 is a harness we're going to put onto the sheep... 472 00:25:44,079 --> 00:25:45,079 [sheep bleating] 473 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,319 ...around here like this. 474 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,920 So as it mounts the lady sheep, 475 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,960 this rubs a blue mark on the lady sheep's back 476 00:25:55,039 --> 00:25:58,640 and then we know she's been impregnated and by which one. 477 00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,880 'Cause the other one... 478 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,519 has got yellow. 479 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:03,880 Do you want to catch the one, I'll catch the other. 480 00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:05,039 [rattling] 481 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,519 Mr. Porksman said if I just did this, they'd come. 482 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,480 Come on. 483 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,640 Come on. 484 00:26:13,319 --> 00:26:15,000 [Kevin] They know that you're after them. 485 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,799 That you're acting differently to when you normally come here and feed them. 486 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,119 A lot of this job is sheep psychology. 487 00:26:21,319 --> 00:26:23,400 You have to think how they think. 488 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,519 What they think is, "I must have sex, I must eat some grass." 489 00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:30,359 No, they think, um, "These people are after me. 490 00:26:30,519 --> 00:26:32,079 Where's the best way to get out of here?" 491 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,200 and we've got them a bit riled, and... 492 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,599 how, how strong are your wooden gates? 493 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,200 Well, let's find out. 494 00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:41,440 -[Kevin groans] -That's sheep wrestling. 495 00:26:41,519 --> 00:26:42,519 [Kevin] Right, you've got to help me now. 496 00:26:42,599 --> 00:26:45,160 [Jeremy] I know. Well, tell me what to do and I'm right there. 497 00:26:45,519 --> 00:26:47,680 -[straining] -Good. 498 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,240 -Right, which one's this? -Leonardo. 499 00:26:50,319 --> 00:26:53,079 -Right, so Leonardo's yellow. -Yeah, Leonardo's yellow. 500 00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:55,720 [Kevin] Have you ever thought about getting a bloody shepherd or something 501 00:26:55,799 --> 00:26:57,359 that will do it for you? 502 00:26:57,599 --> 00:27:00,480 Better than you ringing me up all the time. [groans] 503 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,039 I reckon they can smell them now Jeremy. 504 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,279 [Jeremy] Good, we'll get that gate open. 505 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,319 [Kevin] That wind's blowing that way. They'll follow their noses now. 506 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:14,759 [Jeremy] Watch this. 507 00:27:14,839 --> 00:27:18,400 Put two boys who've never had sex before 508 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,839 and 75 active cougars on the other side of that wall. 509 00:27:24,599 --> 00:27:27,000 [Kevin] I think the penny's starting to drop now. 510 00:27:27,079 --> 00:27:29,000 You see, they're starting to swagger. 511 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,640 [Jeremy laughs] Oh, yeah. 512 00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:36,119 [Kevin] Look, look, they're excited already. 513 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,839 I know, look at that. Look at them go. Look at them. 514 00:27:39,319 --> 00:27:40,839 [laughs] 515 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,359 The thing is though, when they run they knee their own bollocks. 516 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,720 [sheep bleating] 517 00:27:45,799 --> 00:27:47,480 Oh. look at the cougars. 518 00:27:48,599 --> 00:27:50,640 [continuous bleating] 519 00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:52,440 [Jeremy] Hey, who wants a drink? 520 00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:54,640 Espresso martini, anyone? 521 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,640 Oh yeah, they've got it. 522 00:27:58,319 --> 00:27:59,480 Right. 523 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,000 God, the cougars are desperate. 524 00:28:02,319 --> 00:28:03,880 They're actually chasing the men. 525 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,759 This is #MeToo gone mental. 526 00:28:09,799 --> 00:28:11,839 -[Kevin] There you go, he's on. -[Jeremy] He's on. 527 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,319 -[Kevin] Oh, he's off. -[Jeremy] No, he's off. 528 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,799 It was a false start. 529 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,519 Oh, he's kicked her. He must be from Rotherham. 530 00:28:20,039 --> 00:28:21,720 [Jenny laughs] 531 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,920 -There he goes. -[Jeremy] Oh, there he is look. 532 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,240 Why is she walking about? 533 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,440 You haven't seen that one in the Kamasutra? 534 00:28:31,519 --> 00:28:33,720 [chuckles] No. Wheelbarrowing. 535 00:28:34,519 --> 00:28:38,440 How long, how long does the... the act take as a general rule? 536 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,599 [Jenny] Not long. No, a couple of minutes, 537 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,599 -not much more. -Oh, a couple of minutes? 538 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,160 In my mind, we could now dim the lights, 539 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,119 put on some Barry White and leave them to it. 540 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,960 But Jenny warned me that some major responsibilities lay ahead. 541 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,799 [Jenny] A lot of problems come just before they start lambing, when they... 542 00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,359 [Jeremy] What problems? 543 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,119 So, they can get problems with getting enough food 544 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,039 and the right amount of food, the right amount of energy. 545 00:29:04,119 --> 00:29:06,920 Because as the lambs grow, they're pushing on the stomach, 546 00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:10,119 um, so they're reducing the amount of food that they can get in, 547 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,680 and they're using too much energy. 548 00:29:12,759 --> 00:29:14,119 [Kevin] It's a serious thing, 549 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,000 that you have to know when they've got enough grass. 550 00:29:17,079 --> 00:29:21,119 They've got to stay in the right body condition from now until lambing. 551 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,599 -Which I don't know. -It's very important, Jeremy. 552 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,880 It is really important. 553 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,559 'Cause if you end up with thin ewes and, and they got lambs, 554 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,160 then you're going to end up with all sorts of trouble. 555 00:29:31,279 --> 00:29:33,640 [Jeremy] All this meant only one thing. 556 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,160 I am going to need a shepherd, aren't I? 557 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,519 I think you should, yeah. 558 00:29:37,599 --> 00:29:40,559 So there we are. I brought a tractor and then I had to get a tractor driver. 559 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,759 -Got sheep, and now I need a shepherd. -Yeah. 560 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,240 Eventually I'm going to find something I can do. 561 00:29:48,839 --> 00:29:52,160 With that decision taken, it was time to make another. 562 00:29:52,559 --> 00:29:56,440 What should I do with the three unproductive ewes? 563 00:30:02,079 --> 00:30:04,480 What are we going to do with you three? 564 00:30:04,839 --> 00:30:06,359 'Cause you can't get pregnant. 565 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,119 -'Cause if you get pregnant... -[sheep bleats] 566 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,599 I know. You've got mastitis or something of that nature 567 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,039 and your udders are broken. 568 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,759 [groans] So, what do we do? 569 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,920 Seeking inspiration, I consulted the Ozzie. 570 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:30,079 So they can't just stay here and just be three young... 571 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,640 I'll put them somewhere else. 572 00:30:32,319 --> 00:30:36,279 [Jenny] Well, they're flock animals, so ideally they want to be living in a flock 573 00:30:36,359 --> 00:30:38,359 and three sheep don't make a flock. 574 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,839 They want to be running with a large number of themselves. 575 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,279 Well, why can't they stay in a little pallet somewhere 576 00:30:45,359 --> 00:30:47,640 with doves and rabbits? 577 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,000 That's not the... 578 00:30:49,079 --> 00:30:50,839 -uh, relevant to... -[Jenny] Not quite Snow White. 579 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,359 ...relative sheep farming. 580 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,519 There's only one thing for them really and you know, they... 581 00:30:55,799 --> 00:30:58,000 they will need to be, um, culled. 582 00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:04,920 [atmospheric music playing] 583 00:31:05,319 --> 00:31:07,839 [Jeremy] After facing that hard choice, 584 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,200 I spent three weeks battling the weather 585 00:31:12,279 --> 00:31:15,079 and trying desperately to get my crops in the ground. 586 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:28,359 And then it was time to see if the sheep sex had been successful. 587 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,640 [whistling] 588 00:31:33,319 --> 00:31:36,480 That was the job of my new shepherd, Ellen. 589 00:31:36,559 --> 00:31:38,000 [Ellen whistling] 590 00:31:39,279 --> 00:31:41,519 Look at how she's doing that, just whistling. 591 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,759 [Ellen whistling rhythmically] 592 00:31:52,759 --> 00:31:54,680 That was just breathtaking. 593 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,720 [continues whistling] 594 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,000 Hello. 595 00:32:03,079 --> 00:32:05,960 That is one of the most majestic spectacles. 596 00:32:06,039 --> 00:32:08,000 -[dog barking] -Hey you. 597 00:32:08,279 --> 00:32:09,640 Yes, good dog. 598 00:32:10,119 --> 00:32:12,400 So, are they all now up the duff? 599 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,960 [Ellen] Well there's 74 have been topped. 600 00:32:15,039 --> 00:32:16,039 [Jeremy] Have they? 601 00:32:16,119 --> 00:32:17,839 So, it's only possibly one or two. 602 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,240 -Yeah. -It's not many. 603 00:32:19,519 --> 00:32:21,880 Blue mark has done twice as many as yellow mark. 604 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:22,880 -Wayne? -Yeah. 605 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,160 He's a bigger shagger than Leonardo DiCaprio. 606 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,240 Yeah. 607 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,599 [Jeremy] Good old Wayne. 608 00:32:27,759 --> 00:32:29,440 -Oh, they're in there look. -Yeah. 609 00:32:29,839 --> 00:32:32,200 [Jeremy] You randy little bastards, you. 610 00:32:32,359 --> 00:32:34,160 Look at them, they've got sort of proud looks 611 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,599 -on their faces now. -[Ellen laughing] 612 00:32:36,359 --> 00:32:40,599 [Jeremy] Next we had to separate Wayne and Leo from their woolly harem. 613 00:32:41,559 --> 00:32:42,880 If you go that way a bit, 614 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,839 and we'll spread out, and then put your arms out. 615 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,160 Hold on, where's the... 616 00:32:46,519 --> 00:32:48,839 -Whose, where is he? -Would you grab that gate? 617 00:32:49,079 --> 00:32:50,640 -What? -Would you grab that gate 618 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,240 and swing it round towards me. 619 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,200 -That's it. -Oh we've got. 620 00:32:54,319 --> 00:32:55,960 Well, that's good. Oh, we've got both of them. 621 00:32:56,039 --> 00:32:57,920 -Yep. -How did you do that? 622 00:32:58,599 --> 00:33:02,319 [Jeremy] There was absolutely no doubting Ellen's shepherding skills. 623 00:33:02,559 --> 00:33:06,359 I just wish I could say the same about her driving. 624 00:33:17,559 --> 00:33:19,200 [sheep bleating] 625 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,279 Everybody, now calm down. 626 00:33:25,119 --> 00:33:26,200 Calm down. 627 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,279 You know, I'm becoming really fond of them. 628 00:33:30,359 --> 00:33:31,559 [Ellen] Have you been talking to them? 629 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,599 You know the three that have been 630 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,640 -scheduled for assassination? -Yeah. 631 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,119 [Jeremy] I really like them. 632 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,039 They come galloping up now. You go and feed the horses. 633 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,160 [Ellen] Yeah. 634 00:33:41,279 --> 00:33:43,400 We ought to get these rams out then before it goes dark. 635 00:33:43,519 --> 00:33:45,519 Yep. We'll put them in the trailer and then move them. 636 00:33:45,599 --> 00:33:47,960 Shall I, shall I bring it around, because 637 00:33:48,559 --> 00:33:51,200 I have just reversed that in a tight spot 638 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,200 -and didn't hit anything. -Well done. 639 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,200 -Unlike some people. -[laughing] 640 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,119 [Jeremy] The next issue was food. 641 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,559 Ellen was worried my fields didn't have enough grass 642 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,480 for 74 pregnant ewes. 643 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,360 [Ellen] By looking at it, that all looks the same, 644 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:16,639 there's nothing in here. 645 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:17,920 [Jeremy] But both are green. 646 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,880 [Ellen] Yeah, but that don't mean it's grass. 647 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:21,559 What about that field? 648 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,920 [Jeremy] Right, here there's grass, see? 649 00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:27,960 [Ellen] But there's still not a lot of it. 650 00:34:28,039 --> 00:34:30,800 So we're going to have to supplement feed the ewes so... 651 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,519 -With the hay? -With the hay. 652 00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:34,280 But how much do they need? 653 00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:37,599 We've got a big, big bale of hay. 654 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:42,559 Yeah, they'll get through, probably a couple of those a day. 655 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,599 -If they're hungry. -Shit. 656 00:34:44,639 --> 00:34:46,320 -Yeah. -I haven't got that much. 657 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,679 How much is hay? It's quite expensive isn't it? 658 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:49,800 It is. 659 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,400 [Jeremy] The hay was yet another addition 660 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,159 to the rapidly rising sheep costs. 661 00:34:58,199 --> 00:35:01,119 And the next day, when Cheerful Charlie dropped by, 662 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,760 he brought the money situation into sharp focus. 663 00:35:05,199 --> 00:35:06,639 [Charlie] How are the sheep? 664 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,159 I've taken on a shepherd. 665 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:09,800 -A shepherd? -Yeah. 666 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,360 She's going to come every day and check on them. 667 00:35:12,639 --> 00:35:14,679 -So, you've got 75 sheep? -Yeah, left. 668 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,280 -Left. Ewes? -Yeah. 669 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,880 -And a shepherd. -And two rams, yeah. 670 00:35:19,559 --> 00:35:20,840 -Wayne and Leonardo. -So we're going to have 671 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,480 -130 saleable lambs? -Yeah. 672 00:35:23,639 --> 00:35:26,400 -So, we've got 130 sheep with lambs. -Yeah, yeah. 673 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,800 They're £65 to £70 a lamb. 674 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,159 -So that's £7,800. -7,800. 675 00:35:31,639 --> 00:35:32,639 So if... 676 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,320 Is that all we're going to get? 677 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,960 That's all you're going to get. 678 00:35:36,559 --> 00:35:38,320 But I'm paying her more than that. 679 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,079 The sheep enterprise is not looking very profitable. 680 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,119 And I had to buy the sheep, and the rams. 681 00:35:46,159 --> 00:35:48,280 -And you have to fence them-- -And the sheep handling-- 682 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,119 And you've got the sheep handling stuff and you've got vets bills. 683 00:35:51,159 --> 00:35:54,280 So, the sheep are going to cost me between just... 684 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:55,920 £7,000 and £10,000 a year. 685 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,119 -To have them? -Yeah. To cut the grass. 686 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,119 That was a bad business choice. 687 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,320 -Thanks for dropping by. -You're very welcome. 688 00:36:07,639 --> 00:36:09,400 With your gloominess. 689 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:11,599 Reality. 690 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,400 [Jeremy] Alarmingly the sheep were about to get even more expensive, 691 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:23,000 because I still had to finish off their water supply. 692 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:28,199 What I needed was source of water that could be used to fill the tank 693 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,920 at the top of the hill. 694 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:33,880 That's coming along Gerald? 695 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,320 [Jeremy] So for advice I went to see Gerald, 696 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,840 who's lived in the village for 72 years. 697 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,880 No, it's something, not I, not obviously within water on the pump 698 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,360 that you got now, in the water from up here. 699 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,159 Now he took out, right. 700 00:36:48,559 --> 00:36:50,480 -Now right mains water. -Hmm. 701 00:36:50,639 --> 00:36:55,480 I'll tell you what. I didn't know... in the corner of our stables, 702 00:36:55,559 --> 00:36:58,119 I don't know if that never worked or anything. 703 00:36:58,199 --> 00:37:01,480 [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 704 00:37:01,559 --> 00:37:02,840 I'm not into that. 705 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,920 If you might translate it, get no water so far in that one trough. 706 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,840 She's had the pump bearing took out. 707 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,000 I'd two of them glass nearly every day I've done. 708 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,320 [Jeremy] With all that cleared up, 709 00:37:16,159 --> 00:37:18,559 I did a bit more searching, 710 00:37:18,639 --> 00:37:22,320 and soon, in one of the woods, I found a spring. 711 00:37:23,559 --> 00:37:26,320 Kaleb and I then ran a pipe from the spring 712 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,639 up to a pump near the farm buildings. 713 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:36,159 So, in theory, when I turn that pump on in that box... 714 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:37,519 [Kaleb] Yeah. 715 00:37:37,599 --> 00:37:40,119 It will bring water up from the spring, 716 00:37:40,159 --> 00:37:42,199 -the stream at the bottom of the hill... -Yeah. 717 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,079 To here, and then we can attach it to a pipe, 718 00:37:45,159 --> 00:37:47,519 and then we can run it up to the sheep troughs. 719 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,199 -Got it. -This is the moment of truth. 720 00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:53,159 -Ready? -[Kaleb] Yeah. 721 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:55,800 Well we haven't done a lot. 722 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,159 -[Jeremy chuckles] -Oh, there we go. 723 00:37:59,639 --> 00:38:01,639 [Jeremy] Hello! 724 00:38:04,079 --> 00:38:05,440 Look at that. 725 00:38:05,639 --> 00:38:07,360 We had our water. 726 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,639 And now what we needed was to get it to the tank at the top of the hill. 727 00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:18,000 This meant using a special tractor attachment called a Mole, 728 00:38:18,079 --> 00:38:21,000 which lays a pipe underground. 729 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,760 The tank, the aquifer is up on that... 730 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,119 -you see that row of trees? -Yeah. 731 00:38:26,159 --> 00:38:29,639 You see there's a gap. The far trees on the far horizon. 732 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:31,079 [Kaleb] How long is that? 733 00:38:31,159 --> 00:38:32,519 -It's more than a mile. -A mile? 734 00:38:32,599 --> 00:38:34,559 -More than a mile. -And how much are you paying a meter? 735 00:38:34,639 --> 00:38:35,920 It's a pound a meter. 736 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,760 Once you put this in, it will last 1,000 years. 737 00:38:39,159 --> 00:38:42,639 It's true, you can't... you can't treat this as a cost for one year's sheep. 738 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,119 I don't want you driving over my rape as well. 739 00:38:45,159 --> 00:38:48,639 That rape is going to earn you more money than these pocksy sheep. 740 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,119 -What? -Without a doubt. 741 00:38:51,159 --> 00:38:54,159 [Jeremy] With the sun getting low in the sky, we stopped talking, 742 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,400 joined everything up and got cracking. 743 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,199 Right. Come on, LOL. let's see if this works. 744 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:02,480 [engine whirring] 745 00:39:05,559 --> 00:39:06,800 [Jeremy] It did. 746 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,639 Yeah! 747 00:39:10,199 --> 00:39:13,519 Look at that, you see it peels the ground open, 748 00:39:13,599 --> 00:39:17,440 puts the pipe in and then puts the ground back together again 749 00:39:17,679 --> 00:39:19,480 after I've passed. 750 00:39:19,559 --> 00:39:21,360 It's so clever. 751 00:39:22,599 --> 00:39:24,199 This is a very good bit of kit. 752 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,760 -[Kaleb] It's wicked isn't it? -It's really good. 753 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,159 -You could watch it all day as well. -No. 754 00:39:30,639 --> 00:39:33,480 [Jeremy] Even though my tractor was extremely nimble 755 00:39:33,559 --> 00:39:35,360 and just the right size, 756 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,960 the cross country route to the water tank was extremely hazardous. 757 00:39:41,119 --> 00:39:44,400 [Kaleb] Oh, you're all right, keep going, keep going. 758 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,199 Keep going. You're all right. 759 00:39:46,679 --> 00:39:48,159 [Jeremy] Dear God. 760 00:39:48,199 --> 00:39:51,920 I've never been through this gate without having to do a three point turn. 761 00:39:52,039 --> 00:39:53,159 Come on. 762 00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:54,440 Go on, you're all right. 763 00:39:54,679 --> 00:39:58,000 [Jeremy] This meant that when we needed to change the pipe reel 764 00:39:58,079 --> 00:40:01,079 I was too tired to get out of the cab. 765 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,559 It's all right, you just sit there. 766 00:40:04,639 --> 00:40:05,760 I'm going to. 767 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,880 -At the end of this series, yeah? -Yeah. 768 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,199 It's going to be "Man watches farmer... 769 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,679 -Mmm. -Watching his farm worker." 770 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,400 -Mmm-hmm. -That's what it's going to be. 771 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,679 That's what it's called. 772 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,079 -You could be watching me... -I'm watching you. 773 00:40:18,159 --> 00:40:20,360 rather then get hit on the head so we'd have to put it in the accident book. 774 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:21,480 What accident book? 775 00:40:21,559 --> 00:40:23,079 [Kaleb] Every farm has an accident book. 776 00:40:23,159 --> 00:40:24,480 [Jeremy] You don't read books. 777 00:40:24,639 --> 00:40:27,519 I know, but I would read that one, cause it would be mostly me. 778 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,880 Has every farm got an accident book? 779 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,360 Yeah, if you cut your finger on a knife, 780 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,559 you've got to put it in the accident book. 781 00:40:34,639 --> 00:40:35,679 [Jeremy] Who looks at it? 782 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,320 The health and safety, and stuff like that. 783 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,400 Why don't you just say there's not been any accidents? 784 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,880 'Cause no one believes that. 785 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,559 Think about it. On a farm, how many accidents happen on a farm? 786 00:40:43,639 --> 00:40:45,920 [Jeremy] Well, all the time. But we haven't had one yet. 787 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,480 Yeah, we have, I cut my finger today. I need to go in the accident book. 788 00:40:48,559 --> 00:40:50,599 And I've probably got a bruise on my elbow. 789 00:40:50,639 --> 00:40:51,679 [Jeremy] Does that go in the accident book? 790 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:52,880 That's going in the accident book as well. 791 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,039 [Jeremy] So it's a woke accident book? 792 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,760 Eventually we started to climb. 793 00:41:01,119 --> 00:41:04,400 This is the steepest bank on the farm. 794 00:41:06,519 --> 00:41:11,159 [Kaleb] Go on, go on, girl. Get up that hill. Go on, go on, go on. 795 00:41:11,599 --> 00:41:14,199 Kaleb is actually talking to the tractor. 796 00:41:14,559 --> 00:41:17,480 [Kaleb] Come on, come on girl. She's a machine. 797 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,039 -Yee hah! -[Jeremy laughs] 798 00:41:20,199 --> 00:41:21,679 Get in there. 799 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:25,519 [Jeremy] So this tractor is planting 150 meters of pipe, 800 00:41:25,599 --> 00:41:28,880 a meter under the surface of the Earth. 801 00:41:29,639 --> 00:41:33,599 Ha ha, too big my ass. 802 00:41:34,639 --> 00:41:36,360 With the hardest climb over, 803 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,400 we stopped for a breather. 804 00:41:38,639 --> 00:41:40,480 [thunder rumbling] 805 00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:41,559 It's good up here, 806 00:41:41,639 --> 00:41:43,159 -the air is clear up here. -Yeah. 807 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,119 -Look at the view. -I know, the views, 808 00:41:45,159 --> 00:41:47,400 -the air, everything. -Look just that way. Look. 809 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,599 -The reason I like farming here... -Hmm. 810 00:41:49,639 --> 00:41:51,440 Is I'm sat on that tractor on a summer's day. 811 00:41:51,519 --> 00:41:53,000 It's nine o'clock at night. 812 00:41:53,079 --> 00:41:56,280 The lights starting to come on. Like, I see every single farmer 813 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,760 working around the place. 814 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,360 I know I can't speak to them, 815 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,079 but it make you feel good. 816 00:42:01,159 --> 00:42:03,960 I know he's waving back at me, and I'm like a mile and a half away. 817 00:42:04,039 --> 00:42:06,559 -And you know who it is? -I know exactly who it is. 818 00:42:06,639 --> 00:42:08,840 Yeah, I know what tractor he's driving, and what horse power it is, 819 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,800 I know what machinery he's got on the back. 820 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:11,760 [chuckles] 821 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,760 [thunder rumbling] 822 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,360 Is that rain going to come where we are? 823 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:18,679 Yes, it is. 824 00:42:19,039 --> 00:42:21,440 It's like one of those shots in Oklahoma. 825 00:42:22,119 --> 00:42:23,760 -Where's that? -America. 826 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,000 Ah. 827 00:42:25,639 --> 00:42:27,000 [engine starts] 828 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,159 [Jeremy] We worked into the night to get the pipe to the tank. 829 00:42:35,119 --> 00:42:38,559 And the next morning went off to see if it had worked. 830 00:42:42,159 --> 00:42:43,519 [straining] 831 00:42:45,039 --> 00:42:46,480 [laughing] 832 00:42:52,559 --> 00:42:55,280 [laughs heartily] 833 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,320 Now, that's good news. 834 00:42:58,159 --> 00:43:02,159 [Jeremy] And so finally the underground Victorian water engine 835 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,280 was once again fully functional. 836 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,440 I was thrilled. 837 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,119 And as for the sheep... 838 00:43:11,639 --> 00:43:12,880 Not interested. 839 00:43:13,159 --> 00:43:15,000 [sheep bleating in a distance] 840 00:43:15,119 --> 00:43:18,000 Now that might be because they get all the moisture they need 841 00:43:18,079 --> 00:43:19,519 by licking the Earth. 842 00:43:19,599 --> 00:43:21,840 It is absolutely soaking. 843 00:43:22,119 --> 00:43:26,880 Or, it could be because that electric fence is on. 844 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,440 Which means the entire trough is live. 845 00:43:33,039 --> 00:43:35,079 God, farming's complicated. 846 00:43:36,599 --> 00:43:39,000 [soft music playing] 847 00:43:40,639 --> 00:43:43,159 It was about to become upsetting too. 848 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:50,480 Because the time had come to say goodbye to my three woolly mates. 849 00:43:57,079 --> 00:44:00,440 Look at that one over there having his last breakfast. 850 00:44:01,559 --> 00:44:02,679 Come on. 851 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,559 There you go, there you go. 852 00:44:06,639 --> 00:44:08,239 Go on, up you go, go on. 853 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,320 Go on. 854 00:44:10,599 --> 00:44:11,559 Come on. 855 00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:14,000 [sighs] 856 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,199 [engine whirring] 857 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,599 Uh... I don't know what to say, or think 858 00:44:33,199 --> 00:44:35,639 about this mission this morning. 859 00:44:38,519 --> 00:44:39,960 Hmm. 860 00:44:41,159 --> 00:44:43,880 But I'm a sheep farmer. This is what sheep farmers do. 861 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,199 They take their animals to market. 862 00:44:47,079 --> 00:44:49,000 They take them to the abattoir. 863 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:57,719 Eugh! 864 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,280 [breathes deeply] 865 00:45:03,199 --> 00:45:06,039 Eventually, I arrived at the abattoir. 866 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,039 [metal clanging] 867 00:45:12,159 --> 00:45:13,519 [man] Three cull ewes yeah? 868 00:45:13,599 --> 00:45:15,039 -Three ewes yeah. -Yeah. 869 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,039 [Jeremy] What I really needed were a few soothing words, 870 00:45:18,119 --> 00:45:21,400 telling me that what I was doing was the right thing. 871 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,639 [man] It's a shame, cause they're nice sheep aren't they? 872 00:45:25,119 --> 00:45:26,199 [man exclaims] 873 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:28,920 Lovely. 874 00:45:29,519 --> 00:45:31,199 [Jeremy] Is this all mutton then? 875 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,320 [man] Yeah, they're all culls as well, yes. Uh-huh. 876 00:45:33,519 --> 00:45:36,320 The farmers that we bought them from have obviously checked their backs. 877 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:40,039 They've either got bad backs or lack of teeth so they can't feed. 878 00:45:40,119 --> 00:45:41,920 [Jeremy] And where does mutton mostly go? 879 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,960 Indian restaurants, and Pakistanis and Bangladeshis. 880 00:45:46,039 --> 00:45:48,679 There's massive communities in East London. 881 00:45:49,159 --> 00:45:50,280 Good. 882 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,079 Look, that one looks so sad. 883 00:45:55,559 --> 00:45:57,679 [man] At the end of the day, the ones that don't fit the bill 884 00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,679 -have to go here. They've got to. -They have... 885 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,599 I can't, they can't breed, they can't be with a... a flock. 886 00:46:03,679 --> 00:46:04,760 [man] And they're not pets. 887 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:05,719 [Jeremy] No. 888 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,800 I deliberately haven't given them names. Not out loud anyway. 889 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:10,079 No, no, no, no. 890 00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,239 [Jeremy] In the office we went through the endless government paperwork. 891 00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,559 So that's it, we've done one form, now these another form. 892 00:46:17,639 --> 00:46:19,280 This is your movement license, it's all complete. 893 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,079 We keep a copy and send that back off to Deptford for you. 894 00:46:22,199 --> 00:46:23,239 This is just the same... 895 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,280 [Jeremy] Easier to get into America than to fill one of these in. 896 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,079 [man] It is, you're right, yeah. 897 00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:28,920 [Jeremy] ...painfully generated. 898 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,239 [Jeremy] Then there was one last job. 899 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:35,599 I'm just going to say goodbye to them. 900 00:46:37,199 --> 00:46:38,599 [man] Might be a bit late. 901 00:46:38,679 --> 00:46:41,480 -What? Why, have they gone? -I think they might be dead. 902 00:46:43,159 --> 00:46:45,239 -They're dead already? -Yes. 903 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,400 Are they really, they've gone? They're dead? 904 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,559 [man] Yeah, they form a line now yeah. 905 00:46:51,079 --> 00:46:52,239 Sorry. 906 00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:55,960 -Lovely. Well thanks again. -Well, thank you. 907 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:57,519 Okay. 908 00:47:05,639 --> 00:47:06,760 [gate opens] 909 00:47:10,599 --> 00:47:12,000 [sniffling] 910 00:47:19,199 --> 00:47:21,800 [serene music playing] 911 00:47:25,119 --> 00:47:28,400 [Jeremy] The sheep had been on my farm now for three months. 912 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,599 For most of that time, they had been a nightmare. 913 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,840 No, no, no, no, no. Oi! 914 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:40,280 And for all of it, they've been ruinously expensive. 915 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,559 Uh, I'll think of a number and double it really. 916 00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,760 -I am going to need a shepherd, aren't I? -I think you should, yeah. 917 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,159 That was a bad business choice. 918 00:47:50,679 --> 00:47:54,480 But these belligerent sex mad illness machines 919 00:47:54,559 --> 00:47:57,480 have brought a lot of joy to the farm. 920 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,159 [Jeremy] That's a great sight. 921 00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,119 Hello, sheepy. 922 00:48:02,559 --> 00:48:04,800 [Jeremy] I've grown to love having them around. 923 00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:08,679 You're all eating for two now, aren't you all? Or three, hopefully. 924 00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,440 They're actually learning to trust me, 925 00:48:11,599 --> 00:48:13,000 [laughs] 926 00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,480 And there was one more surprise in store. 927 00:48:39,159 --> 00:48:42,920 I actually thought I wouldn't be able to eat them, but 928 00:48:46,559 --> 00:48:48,280 it turns out I can. 929 00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,920 They're delicious. 930 00:48:59,119 --> 00:49:00,199 Farm shop. 931 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:02,239 Why would I not do that? 932 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,800 It's like Fortnum and Mason's in my mind. 933 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:06,760 [man] It's what? 934 00:49:08,679 --> 00:49:10,679 [Jeremy] All right, here we go. 935 00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,440 [folk music playing]