1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:05,879 [engine revving] 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:07,919 Sideways in linen. 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000 [tires screech] 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,960 [Jeremy] For many years, this has been my day job. 5 00:00:15,359 --> 00:00:16,960 -[tires screech] -[gun fires] 6 00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:18,960 Going in hard and hot! 7 00:00:19,039 --> 00:00:21,519 [Jeremy] But when the important work was over... 8 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,440 [tires screeching] 9 00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:24,719 I've lost one of my nose tampons! 10 00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:27,960 [Jeremy] ...I came home to this. 11 00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:35,520 It's my farm in the Cotswolds. 12 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,759 Nestling among the ancient stone villages, 13 00:00:41,399 --> 00:00:46,880 it's a peaceful, 1,000-acre haven of wide open fields, 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,200 brooks, 15 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,399 waterfalls, 16 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,039 woods, 17 00:00:55,119 --> 00:00:57,240 and wild flower meadows. 18 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,680 It stretches from those trees over there on the far horizon, 19 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,039 then it goes behind that big wood, 20 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,760 down into the valley and then up past here 21 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,879 to a point a couple of miles over there. 22 00:01:14,799 --> 00:01:18,039 And ever since I bought it back in 2008, 23 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,280 it's been run by a chap from the village. 24 00:01:20,359 --> 00:01:23,680 However, he told me a couple of months ago that he is retiring, 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:27,640 so I've come up with a plan. 26 00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:29,840 I shall farm it myself. 27 00:01:30,359 --> 00:01:33,439 ["Every Picture Tells a Story" by Rod Stewart playing] 28 00:01:35,079 --> 00:01:36,799 [bee buzzing] 29 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,120 [opening theme song playing] 30 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,439 I've never done this. 31 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,000 Ooh! Farming happening. 32 00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:47,840 That's as straight as a roundabout! 33 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,560 Oh, that sign of me going up there is not happening. 34 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,439 We're gonna have a sign saying, "Guess who drilled this? 35 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,520 Jeremy, Kaleb?" 36 00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:57,120 [automated voice] Take off! 37 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,799 [Jeremy] Right. 38 00:01:58,879 --> 00:02:01,079 Let's go round up some sheep. 39 00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:02,879 [woman] Jeremy, you're going too fast. 40 00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:04,519 [Jeremy] Oh, shit. Please stop. 41 00:02:07,359 --> 00:02:09,439 Come on, don't rain. Don't rain. 42 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,120 This is global warming. 43 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,159 And you racing about all your life in vehicles. 44 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,159 Just unbelievable horseshit. 45 00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:20,719 [man] See them? They're goldfinches. 46 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,719 Really? It actually makes me really happy. 47 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,520 Behold! I am Moses. 48 00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:30,240 [gasps] And what the fuck are you doing up here? 49 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,840 Who's Moses? 50 00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:40,599 It's a baby. 51 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,719 Ooh. Jeez. 52 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,240 Have you looked after sheep before? 53 00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:48,960 -[sheep bleating] -[Jeremy] I think I've got in its anus. 54 00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:51,000 No. 55 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,840 [engine revving] 56 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:55,800 [Jeremy] Oh, yes! 57 00:02:56,319 --> 00:02:58,039 This is my wilding project. 58 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,159 -[man] Oh, my God! -[Jeremy] Oh, no, no, no. 59 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,520 This is not wilding. That's damage. 60 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:06,560 It's like Fortnum & Masons. 61 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:07,479 It's what? 62 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,039 [engine whirring] 63 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,240 Oh, my God. What have I done? 64 00:03:12,599 --> 00:03:14,159 Whoa! 65 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,960 -[chuckles] -[Jeremy sighs] 66 00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:19,639 Stay in your vehicle please. Stay in your vehicle. 67 00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:23,599 I'm pushing 60. I've smoked three quarters of a million cigarettes. 68 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,039 I've had pneumonia. If I get it... 69 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,800 Yeah, there's not a lot of hope. 70 00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:29,479 [Jeremy whistling] 71 00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:32,840 [Jeremy] Oh, shit. 72 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,240 Shit, shit. 73 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,639 Wayne Rooney's dead. 74 00:03:40,439 --> 00:03:42,840 And this is the moment. 75 00:03:53,479 --> 00:03:54,879 You missed a bit. 76 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,560 -Where? -In the mirror. 77 00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:58,920 -No, I didn't. -You did. 78 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,400 -I didn't. -You did. 79 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,319 [Jeremy] All that is to come, but right now, 80 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,680 it's time to start my first job. 81 00:04:12,759 --> 00:04:15,439 The biggest, most important job of them all. 82 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:20,079 Planting wheat and barley in all the big fields like this one. 83 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,879 And how do you do that? 84 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:29,160 No idea. Literally, honestly, I have absolutely no clue. 85 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:33,680 All I do know is it's going to involve some tractoring. 86 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,240 [theme music playing] 87 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,600 [Jeremy] Obviously, to do tractoring I need a tractor. 88 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,319 So, on day one, I set off to my local dealership. 89 00:05:05,319 --> 00:05:07,600 Quite like this one. Look, the Super Major. 90 00:05:10,199 --> 00:05:11,360 There are worse names. 91 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:17,759 As I'm familiar with stuff that has four wheels and an engine, 92 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,879 I should have been at home here, but I wasn't. 93 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,519 So I sought advice from the dealership's owner, Patrick Edwards. 94 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,199 How much is this? 95 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,560 7,500. That is what we specialize in. 96 00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:32,240 -You've got an engine at the front. -[Jeremy] Yeah. 97 00:05:32,319 --> 00:05:37,720 You've got a gear box, and a back axle. No suspension. No fancy electronics. 98 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,639 There's nothing to go wrong that we can't mend. 99 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,439 -What horsepower has that got? -[Patrick] 45 horsepower. 100 00:05:43,519 --> 00:05:44,920 [Jeremy] It's a bit feeble. 101 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,040 Well, it fed the country. 102 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,600 I know but people didn't eat very much in those days. 103 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,319 -[Patrick laughs] -Um... 104 00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:55,519 What's the most power, what's that got horsepower-wise? 105 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,959 [Patrick] Well, that would be about 65 horsepower. 106 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,959 And is that the most powerful one here? 107 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,319 Yes, yeah. 108 00:06:01,399 --> 00:06:02,560 -65 Horse-power? -Yes. 109 00:06:07,439 --> 00:06:11,879 [Jeremy] I then took one of his restored tractors for a test drive. 110 00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,800 Oh, it begins. 111 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,560 Let's open it up. 112 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:26,560 Oh. 113 00:06:28,199 --> 00:06:31,399 [Jeremy] Having finished my test drive, I made a decision, 114 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,920 and bought this. 115 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,439 [engine whirring] 116 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,720 This is a Lamborghini R8. 117 00:06:45,199 --> 00:06:48,600 Oh, my God, this thing is enormous! 118 00:06:49,439 --> 00:06:52,480 Everything about it is just large. 119 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,560 Weighs ten tons. 120 00:06:55,639 --> 00:07:00,519 I have 40 forwards gears, and 40 reverse gears. 121 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:07,079 And I know that little Massey Ferguson was very sweet, but come on! 122 00:07:09,839 --> 00:07:12,279 Okay, and here we are at the farm. 123 00:07:14,319 --> 00:07:15,600 Ooh, hello. 124 00:07:17,319 --> 00:07:18,399 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 125 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,279 Oh, shit. 126 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,240 Right. 127 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,279 [Jeremy] First up with an opinion was my girlfriend, Lisa. 128 00:07:37,519 --> 00:07:39,480 That is, that's too big. [laughs] 129 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,240 [Jeremy] It isn't. It isn't, the shed's too... 130 00:07:42,319 --> 00:07:44,000 Enormous. 131 00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:45,840 Little. 132 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,040 -[car honks] -Ah! 133 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,000 Here's someone who does know about farming. 134 00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:53,600 It's Charlie Ireland. Now he's my, sort of, land agent. 135 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,199 He knows what's needed and when it's needed. 136 00:07:57,279 --> 00:07:59,959 He'll be guiding me over the coming year. 137 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,720 -Jeremy, hello. -Charlie, how are you? 138 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,040 Very well thanks. How are you? 139 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,000 -[grunts] -It's quite large. 140 00:08:07,079 --> 00:08:08,199 Um... 141 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,240 Come on, it's a good tractor. 142 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,120 It's got the wrong hitch on. 143 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:14,920 What? 144 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,800 [Charlie] That's a European hitch. 145 00:08:16,879 --> 00:08:18,519 [Jeremy] What's... I got it from Germany. 146 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,120 [Charlie] You may well have done. 147 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:22,160 So I can't attach anything to the back of this? 148 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,199 Not at the moment. 149 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,879 But it is a big tractor. 150 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,279 I think it's a vast tractor up here. 151 00:08:30,079 --> 00:08:31,079 -Uh... -Too big? 152 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,519 Yes. 153 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,639 [car door closes] 154 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,240 [Jeremy] Charlie then sat me down to explain just how expensive 155 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,480 it would be to get my crops in the ground. 156 00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:42,200 So you've got a tractor. 157 00:08:42,279 --> 00:08:43,720 -Yeah. -Albeit too big. 158 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:47,360 You then need some implements to go on the back of it. 159 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,320 So the tractor at 40. What else do you need? 160 00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:54,639 A cultivator, 20-25,000. 161 00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:58,039 A new drill, probably 40-50,000. 162 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,759 60,000 for a sprayer. 163 00:09:01,759 --> 00:09:03,399 And you haven't got a trailer. 164 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,200 10,000. 165 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,600 Blades are 62,000. 166 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,720 About 35,000. 167 00:09:10,039 --> 00:09:11,200 Same in fertilizer. 168 00:09:11,279 --> 00:09:14,360 [Jeremy] So we're about two... we're a quarter of a million. 169 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:15,360 [Charlie] Quarter of a million pounds. 170 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,360 And that's just the, you know, sort of the backbone of the equipment you want. 171 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,720 No, no, I'm sorry, I'm just going to say it again. 172 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:23,600 -Quarter of a million pounds. -A quarter of a million pounds. 173 00:09:23,759 --> 00:09:26,879 So we can either do it two ways. Either get some new equipment, 174 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,159 or we can probably do it the sensible way 175 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,840 and get some good secondhand machinery that's lower value. 176 00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:35,440 -Yeah. -There's a couple of farm sales coming up. 177 00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:37,240 Okay, so we'll go to a farm sale. 178 00:09:37,879 --> 00:09:38,879 Yeah. 179 00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:40,960 [western music playing] 180 00:09:43,879 --> 00:09:46,000 [Jeremy] So, a few days later, 181 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,360 on a beautiful Cotswolds' morning, 182 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,759 I fired up the checkbook and went shopping. 183 00:10:00,159 --> 00:10:03,519 Charlie had provided me with a list of what to buy, 184 00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:07,519 but it might as well have been in Arabic. 185 00:10:10,159 --> 00:10:11,519 No idea what that is. 186 00:10:15,639 --> 00:10:16,600 [Jeremy] No idea. 187 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,600 What the hell is that? I mean, what is everything? 188 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,080 Like a medieval funfair, this. 189 00:10:25,639 --> 00:10:28,200 Hundreds of different ways of killing yourself. 190 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:33,080 There are apparently 20 times more deaths among people 191 00:10:33,159 --> 00:10:34,879 working in agriculture 192 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,120 than there are in all the other sectors combined. 193 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,879 20 times more. 194 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,600 And when you see equipment like this, you can see why. 195 00:10:42,639 --> 00:10:45,399 You're alone, you're in a field, you fall in there... 196 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,639 and then you're just sort of fed into your own field. 197 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,000 I see, right, I think I've worked this one out. 198 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,000 You attach it to the tractor here, 199 00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,759 and then you slip 200 00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:02,360 and that scrapes your arm off, 201 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,159 and then the other one scrapes your arm into the ground. 202 00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:09,320 Greetings. Are you a farmer? 203 00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:11,279 [man] No, no, I'm a forester. 204 00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:14,679 [Jeremy] Really good way of chopping your arm off in forestry. 205 00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:15,679 Oh... 206 00:11:15,919 --> 00:11:18,080 You actually haven't got any fingers. 207 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,519 Unbelievable. Have you seen this? 208 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,120 -Works in forestry. -Yeah. 209 00:11:24,919 --> 00:11:26,799 This is a thing of beauty. 210 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,600 Button-back Dralon three-piece suite. 211 00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:33,240 Oh, yes. 212 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,240 [Jeremy] Soon, the fields started to fill up. 213 00:11:38,639 --> 00:11:40,799 And the auction buzz was building. 214 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,840 He's just showing off. Look at me, still got an arm. 215 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,200 Amazon have said they want as much diversity in this show 216 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:53,960 as we can possibly manage, and I think we're doing well 217 00:11:54,039 --> 00:11:55,200 because if you look, 218 00:11:55,279 --> 00:12:00,080 there's every different type of white 60-year-old man here. 219 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:06,519 Right, we have a great line-up of arable kit, and grassland kit. 220 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,559 [Jeremy] To make sure I didn't rip myself off, 221 00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:14,240 Charlie had also provided a handy price guide for each bit of kit. 222 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,360 I need lot three here. 223 00:12:17,799 --> 00:12:21,879 Good price would be six and a half. Bad price would be 13. 224 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,519 [auctioneer] Vernon C&M cultivator. At £1,000 just to your left. 225 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,759 At £1,000 I'm bid. At £1,000. At £1,000. 226 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,200 [Jeremy] Under the watchful gaze of a man who seemed to have had 227 00:12:33,279 --> 00:12:35,039 an argument with a threshing machine, 228 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,399 I started bidding. 229 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,679 14. 16. 1800, I'm bid. 230 00:12:42,759 --> 00:12:45,679 2,000 I'm bid. Two-two. Two-four. 231 00:12:45,759 --> 00:12:48,679 At two-six. Three-two. 232 00:12:48,759 --> 00:12:50,559 At three-three. At three-eight. 233 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,000 3850. 234 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,600 Your bid, sir. Six-double one. 235 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,879 -Six double one. Thank you. -[Auctioneer] Thank you. 236 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,080 That was good. 237 00:12:58,159 --> 00:13:01,480 [Jeremy] See, we were told six and a half thousand was a good price. 238 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,840 We've just got that for 3950. 239 00:13:03,919 --> 00:13:05,159 Yes! 240 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,679 [auctioneer] On we go, lot 33. 241 00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:11,080 It's a Bomford double-seven hedge cutter. 242 00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:12,279 2,000 I'm bid. 243 00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:16,440 [Jeremy] I did go a bit over on some of my other purchases. 244 00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:18,240 -Your bid, sir. -Oh, dear. 245 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:23,639 So, I was told not to go above 3,600 and I've gone to 5,100. 246 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,399 [auctioneer] Here we go then. Bid's on there. 247 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,000 [Jeremy] But, at the end of the sale... 248 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,759 [auctioneer] At four-two I'm bid. 249 00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,080 At 2006. 250 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:34,720 [Jeremy] ...I had everything I needed. 251 00:13:34,799 --> 00:13:37,559 Your bid, sir. Six-eleven. The buyer. 252 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,519 [Jeremy] Having spent £82,000 on equipment, 253 00:13:45,279 --> 00:13:47,519 and £2 on office furniture, 254 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:54,080 my next job, according to Charlie, was to go through the timetable 255 00:13:54,159 --> 00:13:56,039 for getting the crops in the ground. 256 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,279 So I've worked out a cropping plan. 257 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,919 [Jeremy] And this is what we're putting in this year then. 258 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,519 This is what I think we should put in. 259 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,440 This is, we've got to get the winter barley in... 260 00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,360 So the winter barley, that's all the way along here. 261 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,039 [Jeremy] Well, that's got to be done now and the wheat here, 262 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,080 -it's got to be done now. -[Charlie] Yeah. 263 00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:15,679 So it's 235 acres. We've got all this to... 264 00:14:15,759 --> 00:14:18,960 And then we've got the 200 acres of spring barley to prepare for. 265 00:14:19,039 --> 00:14:24,039 So we've got to get cultivation, get spraying off, cultivations and drilling. 266 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,080 -In... -In under two weeks. 267 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,000 Okay. 268 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,399 Yeah, the problem is if we don't drill the winter barley then, 269 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,840 the yield will start dropping off. 270 00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:37,480 We need lots of seeds in the ground to get those going, 271 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:39,039 so we've got quite a lot to do. 272 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,759 [stammers] Okay. 273 00:14:41,039 --> 00:14:45,919 And then there's the biggest challenge is you've got, we've got to learn how to, 274 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,600 you know, you've got to learn how to do it. 275 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,320 -Yeah, I know, but, I mean-- -'Cause, you know, there's an old saying, 276 00:14:51,399 --> 00:14:55,039 that I've got, you know, "Well sown is half grown." 277 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:59,519 So if the crop is planted well, then actually you're halfway there. 278 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,639 So the biggest risk factor is-- 279 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,440 -Not planting properly. -Not planting it properly. 280 00:15:04,519 --> 00:15:05,519 Right. 281 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,240 And we haven't mentioned the other factor. 282 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,360 We all get weather. 283 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,320 If the weather is rubbish, we just have to sit there. 284 00:15:13,919 --> 00:15:15,519 So the soil needs to be dry. 285 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,440 [Charlie] The soil needs to be, you know, in good condition. 286 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,600 -[Jeremy] Lorry. -There's a lorry arrived. 287 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,840 -[Jeremy] What have we got? -We've got fertilizer... 288 00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:27,159 -Yeah. -Coming here. 289 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,399 And seed in this one. So... 290 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,519 -So I need to-- -We need to move the tractor. 291 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,960 -Yeah. -Then the forklift's in here. 292 00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:37,519 -Yeah. -So we'll get that going. 293 00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:46,559 [tractor beeping] 294 00:15:55,759 --> 00:15:57,559 [Charlie] Should have got a smaller tractor. 295 00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:06,360 I reckon these guys are gonna get itchy in a minute. 296 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,240 [Jeremy] Just as I was about to get started, 297 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,279 cheerful Charlie delivered a little bundle of government red tape. 298 00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:21,840 -We've got some hay in there. -Yeah. 299 00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:25,279 So we need to move the hay, so you can't store a combustible such as hay, 300 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,559 straw, or anything like that with fertilizer. 301 00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:30,519 The two mix quite well, so you've got an oxidizing agent. 302 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,159 -Why not, why not? -[Charlie] Well because... 303 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,080 Hay doesn't spontaneously combust. 304 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,799 [Charlie] Well, it might do in the presence of fertilizer. 305 00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:40,200 -Why might... really? -Just... we're not allowed to. 306 00:16:40,279 --> 00:16:43,559 It's breaching the fertilizer industry assurance standard rules. 307 00:16:43,639 --> 00:16:48,799 So the government has an opinion on what I store my fertilizer next to? 308 00:16:48,879 --> 00:16:50,440 In fairness, it's quite a sensible one. 309 00:16:53,919 --> 00:16:56,639 Within our working week, we've got to build in, you know, 310 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,159 the regulations and rules that we have to comply by. 311 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,159 Some of those rules are a little bit challenging 312 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,480 but, you know, they're there for a reason. 313 00:17:06,039 --> 00:17:07,519 Farming's a patient game, 314 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,079 and given that he's, you know, not the world's most patient man... 315 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,160 [Jeremy sighs] Fucking useless. 316 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,440 You know, that will be a real test. 317 00:17:18,759 --> 00:17:21,559 [Jeremy] Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. 318 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,200 [sighs] 319 00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:30,559 Fuck's sake. 320 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,680 [Jeremy] Eventually, the hay, 321 00:17:36,759 --> 00:17:39,720 and everything else that might suddenly explode, 322 00:17:39,799 --> 00:17:41,440 was taken out of the shed. 323 00:17:42,759 --> 00:17:45,440 And much to the relief of the delivery drivers, 324 00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:48,000 I could finally start unloading. 325 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,559 Oh, look at this. Look at this. 326 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,559 Ah-ha-ha. 327 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,319 Backwards. 328 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,640 Excellent. [sighs] 329 00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:06,799 Cheers, mate. That's brilliant. 330 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,440 Do you want to pull forwards so I can get the seed off? 331 00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:13,200 There's, uh, 46 more bags on here for you. 332 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,079 [Jeremy] What? 333 00:18:15,319 --> 00:18:16,559 Yeah. It's all for you. 334 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,799 All the way back. 335 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,079 [Jeremy] You're kidding! 336 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,319 This is all for you. 337 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,240 [Jeremy] I know, he just said. 338 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,680 Despite a couple of small accidents... 339 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,759 Oh, shit. 340 00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:45,680 ...I had all the fertilizer and the seed unloaded in just five hours. 341 00:18:50,559 --> 00:18:51,720 [sighs] 342 00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:57,880 -[driver] This was it? -Yeah. 343 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,319 [driver] One of those, and one of those. 344 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,759 -Sixteen and a half tons. -[driver] That's right. 345 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,519 There you go, and many thanks for your patience. 346 00:19:07,559 --> 00:19:09,079 -No problem. -It was my first day, 347 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,440 so I wasn't quite as quick as I perhaps will be one day. 348 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,079 Now, I had the seed and fertilizer, 349 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,559 I was finally ready to start farming. 350 00:19:25,079 --> 00:19:28,559 And with Charlie's tight timetable looming over me, 351 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:32,279 I had to learn my way around the equipment quickly. 352 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:38,160 So once the correct hitch had been fitted to the tractor, 353 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,920 I sprang into action. 354 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:59,559 I assumed the answer to the question of how I join everything together 355 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,680 lay in the cab. However... 356 00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,559 Three buttons there. I don't know what they do. 357 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,079 No, no, don't know. 358 00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:09,519 No. 359 00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:11,680 No. 360 00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,880 Buttons here, don't know. 361 00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,480 No. 362 00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:18,920 And then... Oh, God, look. 363 00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,759 There was only one thing for it. 364 00:20:21,799 --> 00:20:25,039 Call my local branch of the National Farmers' Union 365 00:20:25,079 --> 00:20:26,680 and ask for help. 366 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,160 No, that would be prefect. Thanks. 367 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:33,920 That's good. My union representative's coming over to give me some help. 368 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,000 I'll go and light the brazier. 369 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,640 Instead of Arthur Scargill, however... 370 00:20:43,319 --> 00:20:45,279 they sent Georgia Craig. 371 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,920 [Jeremy] I'll be honest, I'm not the most practical man. 372 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,279 -Are you good with tractors? -Yeah. 373 00:20:51,559 --> 00:20:53,519 But this is the only tractor you've got? 374 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,319 -Yeah. -Yeah. 375 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,799 -Okay. -Well, what's wrong with it? 376 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,400 It's just a bit... it's quite big for what you've got. 377 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,799 Everyone keeps saying it's too... everyone says it's too big. 378 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,480 -[Georgia] What made you choose it? -[Jeremy] It's a Lamborghini. 379 00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:08,160 -I'll get it done more quickly. -Right, okay. 380 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,440 So what's the problem? 381 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:14,160 [Jeremy] Honestly, truthfully, I don't really know how the tractor works. 382 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,640 I can drive it but I can't operate it. 383 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,559 -But it's got three gear levers. -Yeah. 384 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:24,160 Two brake pedals and 8,000 buttons. 385 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,559 -Okay. -Some of which are in German. 386 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,400 Okey-doke. 387 00:21:28,519 --> 00:21:31,240 Lesson one was learning how to attach the tractor 388 00:21:31,319 --> 00:21:33,799 to something called a cultivator. 389 00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:36,079 [Georgia] That's it. Hold it there. 390 00:21:38,559 --> 00:21:40,000 [groaning] 391 00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:42,319 Who put a door catch there? 392 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,240 It's the last time I'm coming out of there forwards. 393 00:21:45,559 --> 00:21:48,000 [Georgia] The first thing I've noticed is that pin is down, 394 00:21:48,079 --> 00:21:49,680 so you want to have both pins up. 395 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,079 Can I go in there? 396 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,640 I would turn the engine off, and then pull the pin up, 397 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,799 -to be safe, as it's your first time. -Back up the ladder? 398 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:56,720 [Georgia] Yeah. 399 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:58,839 [exhales] 400 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:00,799 -Right. -Right so-- 401 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:01,920 [Georgia] Pull that pin up. 402 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,680 So what we're gonna do is, lift the link arms up. 403 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,359 -Right, so I start the engine? -Yeah. 404 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,440 Back up the ladder. 405 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,519 -[beeping] -Don't do that. Sit in it. 406 00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:13,720 [grunts] 407 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,599 [engine starts] 408 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,480 [grunts] 409 00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:22,680 -[Georgia] Right. -[Jeremy] No, can I kick that one? 410 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:23,599 It's just slight-- look. 411 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,240 [Georgia] No. no, no. Don't kick it. Do it inside. 412 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,240 [Jeremy] Back up the ladder. 413 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:32,680 [Georgia] That's it. Hold it there. 414 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,279 Can I operate it from in here and see if that works? 415 00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:38,440 No, because they might come flying up. 416 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,279 For Christ's sake. 417 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,400 Okay, so you're nearly on. 418 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,920 You just need to come back a tiny little bit and then they'll go on. 419 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,400 [Jeremy] Yeah, but it's literally a millimeter. 420 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:49,880 Yeah. You only need a little bit. 421 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,519 [Jeremy] Back up the ladder again. 422 00:22:51,599 --> 00:22:52,720 [grunts] 423 00:22:53,559 --> 00:22:54,759 Fucking hell. 424 00:22:54,839 --> 00:22:55,799 [beeping] 425 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,119 [Georgia] That's it. Right. 426 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,440 Turn the engine off and then we'll do it from out here. 427 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,279 I'm going to operate it from in here. I don't care what she says. 428 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:05,960 Ha, ha! 429 00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:07,160 [Georgia] No. Oh, shit. 430 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,799 [Jeremy] Yes! I did it. 431 00:23:09,279 --> 00:23:11,759 I just couldn't be bothered to come down the ladder again. 432 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:16,160 With the cultivator attached, 433 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,279 we headed out to a nearby field 434 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,599 so Georgia could teach me how to use it, and what it did. 435 00:23:24,079 --> 00:23:27,319 [Georgia] The idea is that we're just loosening the top, 436 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,359 the sort of friable surface of the soil. 437 00:23:29,799 --> 00:23:31,880 So we loosen it up now, jiggle it up a bit. 438 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,920 -[Georgia] Yeah. -So when we put the seeds in 439 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,279 -using the driller... -Yeah. 440 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,640 -...they're into good, loosened-up soil. -Yeah. 441 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,960 And so began my first driving lesson for 42 years. 442 00:23:43,279 --> 00:23:45,079 -First gear? -Yeah. 443 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,519 -Low? -Yeah. 444 00:23:47,519 --> 00:23:48,359 [Jeremy] Let's farm. 445 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,920 Look at that, I'm farming. 446 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,039 I'm doing it! 447 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:05,440 [Georgia] Look at the difference already. 448 00:24:05,519 --> 00:24:07,000 You can see where you've cultivated. 449 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,359 Right, let's go a little bit faster 'cause we always want to get that soil 450 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,759 to bubble up. Speed up a bit. 451 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,000 And that soil is, like, boiling, isn't it? Like a soil boil. 452 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,559 It's amazing. 453 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:26,680 [Georgia] So before you turn, 454 00:24:26,759 --> 00:24:29,240 lift up, then we're gonna do a three-point turn. 455 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:31,519 [Jeremy] Lifting. 456 00:24:32,559 --> 00:24:33,400 [Georgia] Little turn. 457 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:38,839 [Jeremy] Going down. 458 00:24:42,319 --> 00:24:43,759 [Georgia] Do you like cruising in your Lambo? 459 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,039 [Jeremy] Oh, come on, it's a pretty good tractor. 460 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:47,480 [Georgia] Too big. 461 00:24:47,559 --> 00:24:48,559 [Jeremy] Isn't too big. 462 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:49,480 [Georgia] It is. 463 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,400 [Jeremy] I was very much enjoying farming, 464 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:58,920 so I decided to pull over and enjoy it some more with a ploughman's. 465 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,400 -[Georgia] What cheese is this? -Cheddar. 466 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,200 -Do you want some piccalilli? -[Georgia] Mmm. 467 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:09,519 I think you're ready to go on your own. 468 00:25:09,599 --> 00:25:10,440 Cultivating. 469 00:25:10,559 --> 00:25:11,440 Really? 470 00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:13,319 Yeah, 'cause you'll get your own feel for it. 471 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,799 Flying solo on day one. 472 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,720 [Georgia] Hmm. 473 00:25:16,839 --> 00:25:18,279 I'm actually doing farming. 474 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,599 -Which is what I-- -That's what you wanted to do. 475 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:21,519 I've never... I know. 476 00:25:22,519 --> 00:25:24,480 And Howard, the previous farmer, said... 477 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,960 I'm jacking it in and I just thought I'll do it. 478 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,920 And everybody said you're stupid, 479 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,880 you're literally... that's the stupidest thing ever. 480 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,480 You'll never be able to do it. 481 00:25:35,319 --> 00:25:38,480 -[Georgia] And now you are. -[Jeremy] I'm actually doing farming. 482 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:42,920 Look at that now. 483 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:44,799 That's beautiful, isn't it? 484 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,119 [Georgia] Perfect. 485 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:50,200 I like that tractor. 486 00:25:50,279 --> 00:25:51,519 Hmm. I like that tractor. 487 00:25:51,599 --> 00:25:53,480 I shouldn't have been mean about it to start with. 488 00:25:53,559 --> 00:25:55,640 -[Jeremy] No. -I was probably just jealous. 489 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,000 [Jeremy chuckles] 490 00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:59,519 [soft music playing] 491 00:26:05,759 --> 00:26:07,720 The next morning, I was up early. 492 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,880 Excited about going solo. 493 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,880 This is not a bad commute, you know, this isn't. 494 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,880 Forging a path through the dew on a beautiful, beautiful autumn morning. 495 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,359 Look at that view. 496 00:26:34,519 --> 00:26:35,359 [gasps] 497 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,079 Lower cultivator. Cultivator lowered. 498 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,599 Farming happening. 499 00:27:04,519 --> 00:27:05,799 Look at my seagulls. 500 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,960 There are thousands of 'em. 501 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:10,880 Ha. 502 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,119 I wonder if seagulls can hear tractors from 70 miles away. 503 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,279 They must be able to. 504 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,079 It was a wonderful happy day. 505 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:21,799 Third gear. 506 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,119 Nice. 507 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,720 In fact, the only irritation was having to faff about 508 00:27:27,799 --> 00:27:30,200 turning round at the end of every run. 509 00:27:30,279 --> 00:27:31,880 [engine revving] 510 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,079 So I came up with a better idea. 511 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,480 Right, here's my plan, it's a good one. 512 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,920 I'm not gonna one of those three point turns, then come back 513 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,799 alongside the bit I've just done. 514 00:27:49,559 --> 00:27:52,920 I'm gonna do a series of U-turns like that, 515 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,480 and then 516 00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:00,400 come back on the bits I haven't done and it'll all fit together. 517 00:28:01,039 --> 00:28:03,480 All right, ready? Up she comes. 518 00:28:03,839 --> 00:28:05,000 Go on full lock. 519 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:10,119 And then drop it back down. 520 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,200 Oh, yeah. 521 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,119 I just have to stay parallel with that bit I've already done over there 522 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,759 and then I'll, yes. 523 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,880 Sadly, though, this turned out to be harder than I thought. 524 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,160 Oh, God, I've not done this right. 525 00:28:37,279 --> 00:28:38,960 Yeah, look what I've done. 526 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,119 I've made a mess. 527 00:28:43,039 --> 00:28:45,519 I'm gonna have to come up it again. 528 00:28:49,799 --> 00:28:50,839 [chuckling] 529 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,839 Jeremy Clarkson, he can't even drive in a straight line. 530 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,880 [Jeremy] There's a bit over there as well. Jesus wept. 531 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,279 I was wasting a lot of fuel doing unnecessary runs, 532 00:29:05,359 --> 00:29:08,440 and time. Time which I couldn't afford. 533 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,160 I had to get this field done, 534 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:13,480 and all the others. 535 00:29:14,799 --> 00:29:18,640 That's 435 acres 536 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,240 in less than 14 days. 537 00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:27,599 And all I'd managed to do on the first day was ten acres. 538 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,359 Now I've made a total Horlicks of this. 539 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,039 I realized that I needed help. 540 00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:39,319 -Kaleb, nice to meet you. -How are you-- 541 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,640 So I called Kaleb Cooper. 542 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,400 The tractor driver who'd worked for the previous farmer. 543 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,079 I'm in a muddle. 544 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,119 [chuckles] 545 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,559 I'm in a proper, proper muddle because, 546 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,400 well, I mean you've farmed this farm, haven't you for-- 547 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,400 Yeah, I've farmed this farm for three years. 548 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:55,599 -Three years is it? -Yeah. 549 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,480 Well I've been nearly 24 hours 550 00:29:58,559 --> 00:30:02,240 and all I've managed to do is cultivate ten acres of, 551 00:30:02,319 --> 00:30:03,839 is that Bury Hill South? 552 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:05,799 Ten acres? 553 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,240 Hmm. 554 00:30:07,319 --> 00:30:09,680 And some of it went a bit wrong. 555 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:11,240 Um... 556 00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:14,119 When you've done it in the past, how long did it take to cultivate? 557 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,880 So that would probably take me 558 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,480 a good week, 559 00:30:17,559 --> 00:30:19,720 but that's long hours to do the whole farm. 560 00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,759 Never mind long hours, but a week? 561 00:30:22,839 --> 00:30:23,839 Yeah. A week. 562 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,440 [Jeremy] And that was just the cultivating. 563 00:30:26,519 --> 00:30:30,759 We'd then have to plant the seeds using something called a drill. 564 00:30:30,839 --> 00:30:32,599 And how long would that take? 565 00:30:33,519 --> 00:30:36,880 A bit longer because, A... what drill have you got? 566 00:30:39,039 --> 00:30:41,240 A... a red one. 567 00:30:41,759 --> 00:30:42,680 A red one? 568 00:30:42,759 --> 00:30:46,960 It's colored red. It's re... or is it orange? 569 00:30:47,039 --> 00:30:47,880 It's reddy-orange. 570 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:48,880 Reddy orange? 571 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,880 So what else do you do apart from this? 572 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,519 So I've got my own contracting business on the side, 573 00:30:53,599 --> 00:30:55,240 Kaleb Cooper Contracting Services. 574 00:30:55,319 --> 00:30:57,920 I've also got a 1.5-ton digger. 575 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,880 I do general digger work, such as burying pipes, water pipes, digging footings. 576 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,119 So you're quite practical. 577 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,400 -Yeah. I've also-- -Animals? 578 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,920 I've also got 50 head of sheep. 579 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:13,720 I normally try and do five pigs a year to fatten up for sausages, pork chops. 580 00:31:13,799 --> 00:31:18,720 I've also got about 120 chickens at the minute on the farm. 581 00:31:18,799 --> 00:31:20,119 I sell the eggs locally. 582 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,519 How old are you? 583 00:31:21,799 --> 00:31:22,880 I'm 21. 584 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,119 -What? -This year. 21. 585 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,039 You're making me feel pathetic. 586 00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:30,799 I'm 59. I haven't done any of that. 587 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,000 So what's your plan? So we've got-- 588 00:31:33,079 --> 00:31:35,720 This has been drawn up by Charlie Ireland. 589 00:31:35,799 --> 00:31:37,680 -[Kaleb] Yeah. -We've got winter wheat 590 00:31:37,759 --> 00:31:39,119 in Bury Hill South and-- 591 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,440 -Yes. -Do you know what that one's called? 592 00:31:40,519 --> 00:31:42,480 Laus. You do. What's this one called then? 593 00:31:42,559 --> 00:31:44,640 Near Brossola. 594 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,519 -Yeah. This one. -Deadman. 595 00:31:46,599 --> 00:31:49,640 -Do you know the names of all the fields? -Yeah, I know the names of all the fields. 596 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,480 Heredrone, 597 00:31:51,559 --> 00:31:53,839 coming down is Downs Ground. 598 00:31:54,599 --> 00:31:56,680 Coming down after that is Big Ground, 599 00:31:56,759 --> 00:31:58,920 coming after that is Banks, 600 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,759 and then Spittaway, Taylor's. 601 00:32:01,839 --> 00:32:05,119 Down on the road here is Near Bossola. 602 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,640 -[Jeremy] Mmm-hmm. -Far Brossola. 603 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,400 How do you know this? 604 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,279 Well I spent three years in each field 605 00:32:11,359 --> 00:32:13,519 spraying, drilling, cultivating. 606 00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:14,720 -You're a local man then? -Yeah. 607 00:32:14,799 --> 00:32:15,920 Chippy born and bred. 608 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,240 -Chipping Norton School? -Never left the place. 609 00:32:17,319 --> 00:32:18,240 You've never left it? 610 00:32:18,319 --> 00:32:19,759 -No. -Been to London? 611 00:32:19,839 --> 00:32:22,039 No. Oh, once on an art trip. 612 00:32:22,119 --> 00:32:23,160 I stayed in the coach. 613 00:32:25,279 --> 00:32:26,119 -Didn't like it. -[Jeremy] What you-- 614 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,200 Too many people. 615 00:32:28,759 --> 00:32:29,759 Banbury? 616 00:32:29,839 --> 00:32:31,440 Banbury at a push. 617 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,559 That's if I need something desperately. 618 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,279 But otherwise you're happy, Chipping Norton. 619 00:32:36,359 --> 00:32:37,960 Chippy Norton, Chadlington, Heythrop. 620 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,640 That's pretty much, yeah, that's me. 621 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,519 You sound like just the saving grace. 622 00:32:41,599 --> 00:32:44,720 It's almost as though God himself has beamed you down. 623 00:32:44,799 --> 00:32:46,599 Good. Let's go see the tractor. 624 00:32:47,359 --> 00:32:49,720 Wow. Lamborghini! 625 00:32:49,799 --> 00:32:50,799 I know. 626 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:51,799 [Kaleb chuckles] 627 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,039 [dramatic music playing] 628 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:00,279 [Jeremy] With Kaleb and I operating in shifts, the pace picked up. 629 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,559 And it needed to because, as Charlie kept reminding me, 630 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,000 time was money. 631 00:33:11,599 --> 00:33:15,039 If I can get all my winter barley planted by October the 7th, 632 00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:18,319 I can expect next year a yield of around about 633 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,920 three and a half tons an acre. 634 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,640 But if it rains, 635 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,759 or the tractor breaks down and I'm late, 636 00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:28,039 even by so much as a few days, 637 00:33:28,119 --> 00:33:32,279 that yield would drop to perhaps two tons an acre. 638 00:33:32,839 --> 00:33:35,519 Ton and a half down per acre, 639 00:33:35,599 --> 00:33:38,920 and each ton is £120. So over a hundred acres, 640 00:33:40,039 --> 00:33:42,960 I'd be losing £18,000. 641 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,759 Kaleb reckoned however, that if we kept up this pace, 642 00:33:51,839 --> 00:33:56,599 we could have all 435 acres planted 643 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,279 by the deadline of October the 7th. 644 00:34:01,599 --> 00:34:03,960 Bottom field is complete. 645 00:34:04,039 --> 00:34:06,559 Yes, you mighty tractor. 646 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,159 However, just three days into our labors... 647 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,559 [thunder rumbling] 648 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,000 [rain pattering] 649 00:34:23,039 --> 00:34:27,960 When the rain did eventually slacken 48 frustrating hours later, 650 00:34:28,039 --> 00:34:29,639 I ventured out again. 651 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:32,960 But I didn't get far. 652 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,920 Right. The bolt has come out of there 653 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,880 and that bolt's come out and turned the other way round, 654 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,960 which means these discs aren't turning, which means, 655 00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:45,559 look, I'm just creating a little mud mountain. 656 00:34:50,159 --> 00:34:51,880 [tools clattering] 657 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,559 [under breath] Fucking hell. 658 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:01,960 Come on. 659 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,199 That's just jammed. 660 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,320 -Good. -Got the new bolt? 661 00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:16,280 Right, so the leg's done. 662 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,159 That's done, that's... so this is working again now. 663 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,280 [Kaleb] Yeah, it's all back up together. 664 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:20,320 But it's raining. 665 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,559 The roller on the back here will pack up with mud 666 00:35:24,639 --> 00:35:29,960 and then you'd just be skimming on the top and hard work to get it unblocked. 667 00:35:33,159 --> 00:35:36,159 [Jeremy] Of the 400 acres we needed to tackle, 668 00:35:36,199 --> 00:35:38,639 we'd only managed 150. 669 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,639 Right, well that's alarming because 670 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,599 I now have... 671 00:35:46,199 --> 00:35:47,400 I've got nine days. 672 00:35:49,159 --> 00:35:52,000 I've got nine days to do all those fields down there, 673 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,639 and that means I've got to cultivate them, 674 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,000 and drill it, 675 00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,760 and I've got nine days 676 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,320 and the weather forecast says it's going to be raining for the next seven of them. 677 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,360 Why don't farmers all have coronaries? 678 00:36:16,519 --> 00:36:20,079 As predicted, the rain continued to fall for the rest of the week. 679 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,599 But eventually the sun did come out. 680 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,159 So, finally, we can start cultivating again. 681 00:36:33,079 --> 00:36:35,480 Map of where I'm going. 682 00:36:35,559 --> 00:36:37,519 [beeping] 683 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,679 Not going. 684 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,159 Why am I not moving? Come on. 685 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:45,760 I've got no drive. 686 00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,400 Right. What have I forgotten? 687 00:36:50,039 --> 00:36:51,280 Let's have a look. 688 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,159 [alarm beeping] 689 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:54,840 [Kaleb] What's going on? 690 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,039 All in fucking German. 691 00:36:57,119 --> 00:36:58,519 Got no book with that, have we? 692 00:36:58,599 --> 00:37:00,320 It's all right. Google translate. 693 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,039 Page not found. 694 00:37:03,119 --> 00:37:04,159 Ah! 695 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,960 Is there anyone we can call? 696 00:37:07,039 --> 00:37:10,480 I'm trying to find our dealer, the nearest one, to call them. 697 00:37:10,559 --> 00:37:12,320 [ringing] 698 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,039 -[Peter] Hello. -Hi, Peter. 699 00:37:14,119 --> 00:37:15,280 [Peter] Hello. 700 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,960 Hi, it's Jeremy Clarkson over in Chipping Norton. 701 00:37:18,639 --> 00:37:21,880 Starts, put it in gear and then let the clutch in and... 702 00:37:22,199 --> 00:37:26,360 [Peter] I would start with your brake fluid reservoir 703 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:31,280 so it's either low or having a hissy fit with the level sensor. 704 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:33,400 [grunts] 705 00:37:33,639 --> 00:37:35,360 Right, reservoirs. 706 00:37:37,559 --> 00:37:38,920 This is now Italian. 707 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,840 Now, wait, wait, wait. Good news, this is in French. 708 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,519 [Kaleb] Never been to France. 709 00:37:46,599 --> 00:37:47,639 [Jeremy] That can't be brakes. 710 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,280 No, that's all to do with the hydraulics on this. 711 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,559 [Kaleb] No. We need a book, don't we? 712 00:37:52,639 --> 00:37:53,679 Yes, but we haven't got one. 713 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,159 I mean I've got thousands of books, have you got a book? 714 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,159 [Kaleb] No. 715 00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,639 -[laughs] Any books? -No. 716 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,159 -Have you not got a book? -[Kaleb] No. 717 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,920 I've got hundreds and hundreds of books but-- 718 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,079 [Kaleb] Yeah, but how do you read hundreds and hundreds of books? 719 00:38:05,159 --> 00:38:06,440 -What? -[Kaleb] How do you read them all? 720 00:38:06,519 --> 00:38:08,280 If you've got hundreds of them, you can't read all of them surely? 721 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,639 -Yes, no, I've read thousands of books. -Oh, I don't do that. 722 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:12,880 Have you had a haircut? 723 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,960 Yeah, I have. Trying 'em all. 724 00:38:15,039 --> 00:38:17,159 -What? -I'm trying all different haircuts. 725 00:38:17,199 --> 00:38:18,840 -Why? -Until I get older, 726 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,639 you know, 'cause I'm going to lose all my hair. 727 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,559 -Are you? -The next thing I'm gonna perm it. 728 00:38:22,639 --> 00:38:24,400 [laughing] 729 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,639 Good luck with that. 730 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,079 How many hairstyles have you had? 731 00:38:27,159 --> 00:38:28,679 Went from long, 732 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:30,800 top and side, 733 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,599 top, about five in the last, what, probably-- 734 00:38:33,639 --> 00:38:35,159 Have you had a Phil Oakey? 735 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,119 What's that? 736 00:38:36,159 --> 00:38:38,119 Human League. Long on one side, short on the other. 737 00:38:38,159 --> 00:38:39,599 No, no, not about that. 738 00:38:39,639 --> 00:38:41,400 -Okay. Anyway, could we just get back... -Yeah. 739 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,800 Can we just stop talking about your hairdressing? 740 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,119 -[Kaleb] You brought it up! -Concentrate... 741 00:38:45,159 --> 00:38:47,559 I just wanted to know 'cause I was making conversation 742 00:38:47,639 --> 00:38:49,599 -while you found the brake reservoir. -Why? 743 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,000 Fucking buy a tractor in the UK, not in Germany, you'd be all right. 744 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:59,599 Despite much ferreting, we couldn't find the source of the problem. 745 00:38:59,639 --> 00:39:01,960 -[beeping] -Fuck! 746 00:39:05,039 --> 00:39:06,840 Right. That's it. 747 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,079 -Cup of tea then. -Yet another day of no farming. 748 00:39:10,159 --> 00:39:11,199 Yeah. 749 00:39:13,039 --> 00:39:13,880 We could grease up. 750 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,119 -Oh. -[both laugh] 751 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:22,920 Don't look at me like that. 752 00:39:27,639 --> 00:39:29,199 You mean grease all the nipples. 753 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grease the nipples. 754 00:39:31,079 --> 00:39:33,400 [Jeremy] Right. We've got an hour, we can grease nipples. 755 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,119 The following day, mercifully, we were able to get back to work. 756 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,119 I am slightly embarrassed this morning 757 00:39:46,159 --> 00:39:48,800 because the tractor wasn't actually broken. 758 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,639 There's a lever down here 759 00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:53,039 which had got knocked somehow into neutral, 760 00:39:53,119 --> 00:39:54,800 which is why it wouldn't set off, 761 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,960 and that means I lost an entire afternoon's farming 762 00:39:58,039 --> 00:40:00,320 because this tractor is... 763 00:40:01,039 --> 00:40:02,480 complicated. 764 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,280 As a result of everything, 765 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,039 there was now no hope of hitting Charlie's deadlines. 766 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,599 We were miles behind with the cultivating, 767 00:40:19,639 --> 00:40:22,320 and we hadn't even started planting the seeds. 768 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,320 The situation now, I'd call it desperate. 769 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,320 Please don't rain. 770 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,280 Please don't rain. 771 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,880 And back at base, an even bigger issue was developing. 772 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,000 Shit, that is a really big problem isn't it? 773 00:40:50,079 --> 00:40:50,920 [Kaleb] Yeah. 774 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,920 See what's happened is, it's the bag of seed. 775 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,320 We've had it for such a long time now, 776 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,679 not being able to get it in the ground because of the rain, 777 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,119 which has been going underneath the... 778 00:40:59,159 --> 00:41:01,159 well, the wall of the barn 779 00:41:01,199 --> 00:41:03,760 and the seed has actually started to grow 780 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,960 in the bag 781 00:41:05,039 --> 00:41:07,639 so you can't feed that into the drill, can we? 782 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,519 [Kaleb] No. If you look underneath, it's just a carpet of roots. 783 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,639 [Jeremy] Fuck. 784 00:41:16,559 --> 00:41:20,920 We needed to get the remaining seeds in the ground as quickly as possible. 785 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,159 [Kaleb] Right, ho! 786 00:41:22,199 --> 00:41:23,599 [Jeremy] Even if that meant 787 00:41:23,639 --> 00:41:27,039 planting them in fields that hadn't been cultivated. 788 00:41:29,519 --> 00:41:34,599 First, though, I had to get to grips with the fearsomely complicated seed drill, 789 00:41:34,639 --> 00:41:38,199 which turned out to be neither red nor orange. 790 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,639 So as we go along, there are nine of these on the-- 791 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,840 -Yeah. -That splits, it creates a little mound. 792 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,400 -That's it, yeah. Creates-- -And then the seed 793 00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,760 comes down here, two seeds, one goes to the left-hand side. 794 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,000 -That's it. -And one goes to the right, 795 00:41:52,079 --> 00:41:53,639 and it's planted... 796 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,760 -Like that. -A couple of inches down. 797 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,079 Yeah, apart, yeah. 798 00:41:57,159 --> 00:41:59,599 -It's machine gunning the ground. -Yeah. [laughs] 799 00:41:59,639 --> 00:42:01,079 With goodness and nutrients. 800 00:42:03,079 --> 00:42:05,920 A lot to take in, so are you listening? Are you ready? 801 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,639 -Yeah. -Yeah? Main menu. 802 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:08,639 Yeah. 803 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,920 Rate. Yeah, so our rate, 804 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,079 we're going on at 220 per kg per hectare. 805 00:42:14,159 --> 00:42:16,199 This is your fan speed, all right. 806 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,639 So in a minute when I turn the fan on, 807 00:42:17,679 --> 00:42:20,639 that's gonna come with a number. You want it running about 4,000. 808 00:42:20,679 --> 00:42:24,920 This is your tram. So every eighth time you pick it up, 809 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,199 it's going to put a tram line in. So we're off the tram line. 810 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,639 -What do you mean, off the tram line? -We're starting a field. 811 00:42:32,079 --> 00:42:34,599 From the last field, we're set at eight, so this field-- 812 00:42:34,639 --> 00:42:36,480 -Eight what? -Eighth tram line. 813 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,880 -So what that means-- -Kaleb, I've lost complete... 814 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,079 I don't know what you were doing 30 seconds ago. 815 00:42:42,159 --> 00:42:44,840 -[Kaleb] All right. -I reckon you could drop a cruise missile 816 00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:48,159 on Damascus more easily 817 00:42:48,199 --> 00:42:52,480 than you could get that drill to plant some seeds along there. 818 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,039 After baffling me for a bit longer, 819 00:42:56,119 --> 00:42:59,400 Kaleb and I switched seats and we got cracking. 820 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:03,000 Here we go, and drilling. 821 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,760 Drilling an uncultivated field like this would mean less yield and, 822 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,639 therefore, less profit at the end of the year. 823 00:43:12,639 --> 00:43:16,519 But, for complicated reasons to do with carbon in the soil, 824 00:43:17,119 --> 00:43:19,000 it is kinder to the environment. 825 00:43:20,559 --> 00:43:22,199 Greta Thunberg likes this. 826 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,760 [Kaleb] Yeah. I don't know who that is, but yeah. 827 00:43:26,079 --> 00:43:27,920 Keep going, keep going, keep going. 828 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,039 Got to be dead straight because when they start growing, 829 00:43:31,119 --> 00:43:33,199 you're going to have lines like this if you're not careful. 830 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,800 And people driving up and down the main road will see it and think-- 831 00:43:36,039 --> 00:43:37,119 Exactly. 832 00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:40,639 I'm gonna have a big sign at the end saying: "Kaleb did this." 833 00:43:41,039 --> 00:43:42,679 Whoa. [laughing] 834 00:43:43,639 --> 00:43:44,639 You missed a bit. 835 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:46,800 -Where? -In the mirror. 836 00:43:48,039 --> 00:43:48,880 -No, I didn't. -You did. 837 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,199 [Jeremy] They're not gonna see that from the main road, are they? 838 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,400 Most probably. Everyone will pick up on everything. 839 00:43:54,079 --> 00:43:56,360 Guaranteed. If you make a cock-up in the middle of nowhere, 840 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,639 someone's gonna see it. 841 00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,840 They'll go into the pub and go, "Did you see that bit he missed 842 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,400 over in coordinates of this, this, this?" 843 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,599 They will, they'll get the coordinates of that place 844 00:44:06,679 --> 00:44:09,360 and they'll tell everyone. I do it. 845 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,679 [Jeremy] Once he thought I'd got the hang of it, 846 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:18,880 Kaleb went off to look after his own farming stuff, leaving me all alone. 847 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,239 I'm solo, solo drilling. 848 00:44:30,039 --> 00:44:32,719 So Jeremy's out drilling, which is actually one of the most 849 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,320 complicated parts of getting crops established. 850 00:44:37,159 --> 00:44:40,000 So what he's doing is going up and down the field, 851 00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:44,400 so the seed is being planted in rows behind the seed drill. 852 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,960 And then the drill will shut off. 853 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:57,199 It will leave two un-drilled sections which are called tram lines. 854 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,000 We use those tram lines 855 00:45:01,079 --> 00:45:04,719 as a guide so that when the sprayer goes up between them, 856 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,719 we're putting on the right amount of spray, 857 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,800 putting on the right amount of fertilizer 858 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,679 and hence it's all mathematically laid out 859 00:45:12,639 --> 00:45:14,719 so it's a pretty critical part of the operation. 860 00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:16,599 [beeping] 861 00:45:17,599 --> 00:45:20,079 Oh, shit. Oh, wrong button. That's the problem. 862 00:45:20,159 --> 00:45:22,239 There it is and there we are. 863 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:27,360 A lot more complicated than cultivating, this is. A lot more. 864 00:45:32,199 --> 00:45:35,480 Soon I wanted to sit in the sun having another picnic, 865 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,480 but I was beginning to understand that in farming 866 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:44,599 you really do have to make hay while the sun shines. 867 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,559 How many more ups and downs have I got to do in this field, 868 00:45:48,639 --> 00:45:50,519 and will I get it done before the sunset? 869 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:56,719 What have we got? One, two...about 30 more, perhaps. 870 00:45:57,159 --> 00:45:59,719 Yeah. If I've got to do 30 more ups and downs, 871 00:46:00,159 --> 00:46:01,840 but it's now quarter to five, 872 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,679 I'm gonna be doing this with my headlights on. 873 00:46:06,039 --> 00:46:08,719 In order to speed things up I, once again, 874 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,599 decided to replace the annoying three point turns 875 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,199 with my much faster sweeping manoeuvre. 876 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,519 And here we go. 877 00:46:21,559 --> 00:46:22,960 Yes, look at that. 878 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,519 It's just me and my drill and my Lamborghini. 879 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,199 Dropping, and seeding. 880 00:46:41,559 --> 00:46:42,599 What a beautiful evening, 881 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,119 in the Cotswolds. 882 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:51,039 However, when Kaleb came back, the evening mood took a bit of a downturn. 883 00:46:52,119 --> 00:46:53,320 [Kaleb] What have you been doing? 884 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,559 What? What do you mean? 885 00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,239 What have you been doing? 886 00:46:58,320 --> 00:46:59,280 Going up and down. 887 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:00,599 Going up and down like this? 888 00:47:00,679 --> 00:47:01,519 No. 889 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,679 I went up and then went across like that. 890 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:04,960 What did I say at the start? 891 00:47:05,039 --> 00:47:07,239 You said don't do that but I couldn't see why. 892 00:47:09,039 --> 00:47:11,599 Oh, that sign of me going up there is not happening. 893 00:47:11,679 --> 00:47:15,960 We're gonna have a sign saying, "Guess who drilled this? Jeremy, Kaleb?" 894 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,960 Well, what's the matter with that? 895 00:47:18,039 --> 00:47:20,599 I said every eighth time you're putting a tram line in. 896 00:47:21,079 --> 00:47:22,679 Your tram lines are gonna be everywhere. 897 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,679 Down here you're gonna have tram line, tram line, tram line, 898 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,599 tram line, every three meters. 899 00:47:27,599 --> 00:47:30,039 On this bit here, you're gonna have no tram lines. 900 00:47:30,119 --> 00:47:33,840 When I come to spray it and fertilize it, how do I know where to drive? 901 00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:36,079 Guess. 902 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,880 I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing in there. 903 00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,000 I'll do it properly now or is it too late? 904 00:47:41,079 --> 00:47:43,119 Oh, it's too late. You're pretty much screwed. 905 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,159 And you haven't even drilled it straight. 906 00:47:46,639 --> 00:47:48,400 What do you mean I haven't drilled it straight? 907 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,639 That's as straight as a roundabout. 908 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,800 Well it's 'cause it started off bent there by the hedge 909 00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:57,960 so it's still bent here. 910 00:47:58,039 --> 00:47:59,360 It wasn't that bent though, was it? 911 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,599 I didn't know about the eighth thing, 912 00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:04,119 you didn't say you must do that because if you don't-- 913 00:48:04,199 --> 00:48:05,239 I did tell you that. 914 00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:06,519 I couldn't understand what you were on about. 915 00:48:06,599 --> 00:48:07,719 It was country speak. 916 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,119 [chuckles] Everyone is gonna see this. 917 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,000 That's a main road there. 918 00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,960 [Jeremy] Yes, I know, but I've learned my lesson now and I won't do it again. 919 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,159 Have you not seen TV episodes on stuff like that, 920 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:19,760 on people drilling, oh, he's going up and down. 921 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,199 No. no, I didn't watch that. 922 00:48:24,159 --> 00:48:26,400 I'll buy you a drink later and you'll feel better. 923 00:48:28,159 --> 00:48:29,719 I'm in so much trouble. 924 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,880 The next day, there was even more trouble. 925 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,599 Most of the oilseed rape fields planted earlier 926 00:48:46,679 --> 00:48:49,199 by the previous farmer were fine. 927 00:48:50,079 --> 00:48:52,440 [Charlie] So we've got nice rows of rape, which has come up really well. 928 00:48:52,519 --> 00:48:53,440 [Jeremy] Yeah. 929 00:48:53,599 --> 00:48:54,679 But in one... 930 00:48:55,079 --> 00:48:56,159 Why isn't it growing? 931 00:48:57,559 --> 00:49:00,079 [Charlie] The flea beetle got hold of it, so-- 932 00:49:00,159 --> 00:49:03,199 -What? -Whereas the... further up there... 933 00:49:03,519 --> 00:49:04,679 I'm sorry, 934 00:49:05,679 --> 00:49:06,760 this has been planted? 935 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:07,760 [Charlie] This has been planted. 936 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,760 -Where's the rape gone? -Well, it's failed. 937 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,639 It's gone. We might find the odd plant in the middle, 938 00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:14,079 but I'll show you what's happened. 939 00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:15,519 The whole field's failed? 940 00:49:15,599 --> 00:49:18,079 [Charlie] Yeah. Just the little black beetle have come in 941 00:49:18,159 --> 00:49:19,719 and they've just foraged it. 942 00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,360 -[Jeremy] The whole bloody lot? -[Charlie] Yeah. 943 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,280 All four hectares. Ten acres of it. 944 00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,840 You know, there comes a point that, you know-- 945 00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,719 There is no... There's... I just... 946 00:49:33,639 --> 00:49:34,880 Because of a beetle? 947 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:35,920 [Charlie] Yeah. 948 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:37,960 [Jeremy] Well, why can't we kill it? 949 00:49:38,039 --> 00:49:39,400 Well, neonicotinoids are... 950 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,639 you know, the seed coatings were banned in Europe. 951 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,159 -What, so we can't use them? -We can't use them. 952 00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:46,599 [Jeremy] I mean this is... What's the typical yield? 953 00:49:46,679 --> 00:49:51,079 So there's about 12 tons, so there's about £4,000 worth of loss. 954 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,079 -£4,000 just gone because of the beetle. -Just gone, yeah. 955 00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:57,800 And the EU won't let me kill the beetle. 956 00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:59,960 Well, you know, we've just got to work within the rules. 957 00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,639 We are working within the rules and an entire field is dead. 958 00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,360 Yeah. 959 00:50:11,119 --> 00:50:13,480 [Jeremy] I figured, as I climbed back on my tractor, 960 00:50:13,559 --> 00:50:16,000 that things couldn't get any worse, 961 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,480 but I was wrong. Very wrong. 962 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,360 The next day it started to rain again, 963 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:30,320 and this time it didn't really stop for the next six weeks. 964 00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:32,559 [thunder rumbling] 965 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:39,599 [newsreader] Across the country, warnings remain in place for severe weather. 966 00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,519 [newsreader 2] Risk of flooding, risk of transport disruption. 967 00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:47,559 [newsreader 3] Torrential rain, a month's worth in a day. 968 00:50:47,639 --> 00:50:50,760 [newsreader 4] The Wye here at its highest level since records began, 969 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:51,880 clearly unprecedented. 970 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,800 [newsreader 5] The Met office says "presents a danger to life." 971 00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,199 [newsreader 6] ...has caused havoc not seen for almost a century. 972 00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:07,320 [Jeremy] For British farmers, the autumn of 2019 was Armageddon. 973 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:12,039 My farm is 700 feet above sea level, 974 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,639 and the brashy soil drains well, 975 00:51:15,039 --> 00:51:17,360 but even it had become a quagmire. 976 00:51:21,599 --> 00:51:26,239 And planting seeds in ground like this is impossible. 977 00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,280 I used to while away my evening hours reading car magazines, 978 00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:36,679 but not anymore. Nowadays it's Farmer's Weekly 979 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,519 and it's Farmer's Guardian and all they're talking about is the rain. 980 00:51:41,519 --> 00:51:44,159 The unbelievable levels of rain that we've been having. 981 00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,920 Look, "Deluge Disaster," "Biblical," 982 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:51,039 and inside that's the only topic of conversation as far as I can work out. 983 00:51:51,519 --> 00:51:55,280 That's all there is, just rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. 984 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,280 "Farms sacrificed to protect homes from rising floodwater." 985 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,719 "Worst autumn leaves winter crops un-drilled." 986 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,599 This poor guy hasn't planted a single thing, 987 00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,360 can't plant anything, it's too wet. 988 00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:09,760 Look at that poor sod. 989 00:52:10,639 --> 00:52:12,639 Look at that for a farm. What's he gonna do? 990 00:52:15,079 --> 00:52:17,760 Everyone is saying to me you couldn't have picked 991 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,079 a worse year to start farming. 992 00:52:21,159 --> 00:52:23,480 You couldn't. This is unbelievable weather. 993 00:52:23,559 --> 00:52:24,559 Unbelievable. 994 00:52:28,159 --> 00:52:29,800 Oh, God. 995 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,239 [sniffs] 996 00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:40,800 Oh, you-- 997 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,320 [man] So have you looked after sheep before? 998 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:44,440 No. 999 00:52:44,519 --> 00:52:45,480 [man] Here they come. 1000 00:52:46,119 --> 00:52:47,840 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1001 00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,159 [western music playing]