1
00:00:02,432 --> 00:00:03,432
♪
2
00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:08,403
[Snoring softly]
3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:13,752
Synch and correct by MemoryOnSmells
www.addic7ed.com
4
00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:16,211
[Both grunting]
5
00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:20,782
[Groans softly]
6
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:28,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
7
00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:32,577
Whoa. Heh-heh.
8
00:00:32,579 --> 00:00:33,645
Check it out.
9
00:00:33,647 --> 00:00:34,912
What happened?
10
00:00:34,914 --> 00:00:37,749
Whoa, look.
There's little turds everywhere.
11
00:00:37,751 --> 00:00:38,750
Heh-heh.
12
00:00:38,752 --> 00:00:40,818
Uh... cool.
13
00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:41,819
Huh-huh.
14
00:00:41,821 --> 00:00:43,287
Huh. Let's see here.
15
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:44,489
Um...
Huh-huh.
16
00:00:44,491 --> 00:00:46,791
I think these are rat turds.
17
00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:47,892
Yep.
18
00:00:47,894 --> 00:00:49,694
These are definitely rat turds.
19
00:00:49,696 --> 00:00:51,229
- Uh...
- Heh-heh.
20
00:00:51,231 --> 00:00:52,563
Okay, Beavis.
21
00:00:52,565 --> 00:00:54,065
Mm-hmm.
[Clatter]
22
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,533
Whoa, there it is.
23
00:00:55,535 --> 00:00:57,368
Huh-huh.
Huh-huh.
24
00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:58,469
Hey, it's eating our nachos!
25
00:00:58,471 --> 00:00:59,637
Aah!
26
00:01:00,839 --> 00:01:03,141
No!
27
00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:04,409
Aah! Aah!
28
00:01:04,411 --> 00:01:05,810
Damn it.
29
00:01:05,812 --> 00:01:06,878
Get out of there, butthole!
30
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,546
I'll kick your ass.
31
00:01:08,548 --> 00:01:10,581
Ah, damn it.
32
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:12,316
That son of a bitch
ate our nachos!
33
00:01:12,318 --> 00:01:14,886
That's right, Beavis.
34
00:01:14,888 --> 00:01:17,088
And that is a crime
for which it must be punished.
35
00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:19,624
Yeah, yeah, heh.
Yeah, to death!
36
00:01:19,626 --> 00:01:21,859
Heh-heh, yeah.
This is gonna be cool.
37
00:01:21,861 --> 00:01:22,960
Yeah.
38
00:01:22,962 --> 00:01:26,330
[Both laughing]
39
00:01:26,332 --> 00:01:29,400
♪ Has it been a day
or a week? ♪
40
00:01:29,402 --> 00:01:31,903
♪ as my eyes begin to close ♪
41
00:01:31,905 --> 00:01:34,205
♪ I am walking in my sleep ♪
42
00:01:34,207 --> 00:01:35,206
[Both laughing]
43
00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:36,708
You like this.
44
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:39,711
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
- No, I don't.
45
00:01:39,713 --> 00:01:42,613
Beavis, I just saw you
tapping your foot.
46
00:01:42,615 --> 00:01:44,582
She's making me nervous.
47
00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:46,250
It's, like, freaking me out.
48
00:01:46,252 --> 00:01:48,519
Sometimes I tap my foot
when I'm nervous.
49
00:01:48,521 --> 00:01:52,724
And sometimes I, like,
you know, hum along too.
50
00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:55,426
Whoa.
[Laughs]
51
00:01:55,428 --> 00:01:56,561
This is kinda freaky.
52
00:01:56,563 --> 00:01:59,297
Yeah.
See what I mean?
53
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:01,699
Heh-heh.
54
00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,534
This is one of those
art-school chicks
55
00:02:03,536 --> 00:02:06,537
that, like, you could
probably score with them
56
00:02:06,539 --> 00:02:10,308
if you just told 'em
all their ideas are really good.
57
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:12,710
Yeah, that's probably how
she made this video.
58
00:02:12,712 --> 00:02:15,046
She just, like,
got some rich guy
59
00:02:15,048 --> 00:02:17,615
and told him all her ideas,
and he was, like,
60
00:02:17,617 --> 00:02:19,083
"ooh, yeah."
Heh-heh.
61
00:02:19,085 --> 00:02:23,588
Yeah, she's, like,
uh, "I want a unicorn,
62
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:25,656
"but then I'm gonna
tear the horn off him
63
00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:27,892
and put it on my head."
Huh-huh.
64
00:02:27,894 --> 00:02:29,761
Yeah, very good. Yeah.
Heh-heh.
65
00:02:29,763 --> 00:02:33,231
Have another drink
and continue.
66
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:36,234
And then I also want
my brother to tap dance. Yeah.
67
00:02:36,236 --> 00:02:38,236
Heh-heh,
he's really good.
68
00:02:38,238 --> 00:02:39,704
Heh-heh, heh-heh.
69
00:02:39,706 --> 00:02:42,540
The rich guy's
probably, like, uh,
70
00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,041
"these are all great ideas,
71
00:02:44,043 --> 00:02:48,746
but, uh, I think it would be
really, like, empowering
72
00:02:48,748 --> 00:02:51,282
if you took off your clothes
and jumped off a cliff."
73
00:02:51,284 --> 00:02:54,652
[Both laughing]
74
00:02:54,654 --> 00:02:56,521
And he's, like,
"and if you want,
75
00:02:56,523 --> 00:02:59,290
I could help you become
a citizen."
76
00:02:59,292 --> 00:03:01,492
"I don't think I can
help your brother, though."
77
00:03:01,494 --> 00:03:04,595
[Both laughing]
78
00:03:04,597 --> 00:03:07,932
This is why hot girls
shouldn't keep a dream journal.
79
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:10,101
[Both laughing]
80
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:11,536
Oh, boy.
81
00:03:13,438 --> 00:03:15,840
[Both chuckling]
82
00:03:15,842 --> 00:03:17,942
"Tool."
83
00:03:17,944 --> 00:03:20,978
[Both laughing]
84
00:03:25,484 --> 00:03:27,852
Got a rat problem, do ya?
[Chuckles]
85
00:03:27,854 --> 00:03:29,353
Uh... yeah.
86
00:03:29,355 --> 00:03:32,190
[Both chuckling]
87
00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:33,925
He ate our nachos.
88
00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:36,327
[Spanish accent]
And for that, he must die.
89
00:03:36,329 --> 00:03:38,462
[All chuckling]
90
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:41,666
Yes, sir.
Oh, yeah, believe me.
91
00:03:41,668 --> 00:03:43,634
[All chuckling]
92
00:03:43,636 --> 00:03:46,704
My favorite is the classic
spring-loaded trap.
93
00:03:46,706 --> 00:03:49,273
- Uh, okay.
- Sounds good, heh-heh.
94
00:03:49,275 --> 00:03:51,709
Oh, yeah.
That's some good stuff.
95
00:03:51,711 --> 00:03:55,112
[Laughing]
Yeah.
96
00:03:55,114 --> 00:03:56,414
And once you catch him,
97
00:03:56,416 --> 00:03:58,516
that's when the fun
really starts.
98
00:03:58,518 --> 00:04:00,218
[Chuckling]
99
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,219
- Huh-huh.
- Heh.
100
00:04:01,221 --> 00:04:02,420
Okay. Heh-heh.
101
00:04:02,422 --> 00:04:03,921
You boys need some matches
102
00:04:03,923 --> 00:04:05,423
or some pliers with that?
103
00:04:05,425 --> 00:04:08,125
Uhh, no, thanks.
104
00:04:08,127 --> 00:04:10,595
You boys should come by
and see me sometime.
105
00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:12,096
[Chuckles]
106
00:04:15,234 --> 00:04:16,234
[Squeaks]
107
00:04:16,236 --> 00:04:17,702
Aah! Ow!
108
00:04:17,704 --> 00:04:19,237
Son of a bitch!
109
00:04:19,239 --> 00:04:20,671
Dumbass.
110
00:04:20,673 --> 00:04:22,740
- Ow!
- Here, I'll do it.
111
00:04:22,742 --> 00:04:24,141
You hold the trap.
112
00:04:24,143 --> 00:04:25,109
Hm, okay.
113
00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:28,679
Aah!
114
00:04:28,681 --> 00:04:31,115
Damn it, Beavis,
you keep screwing it up.
115
00:04:31,117 --> 00:04:32,783
Huh-huh.
Step aside.
116
00:04:34,253 --> 00:04:35,686
[Grunting]
117
00:04:35,688 --> 00:04:37,154
Put this...
118
00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:38,556
Aah!
Heh-heh-heh.
119
00:04:38,558 --> 00:04:40,091
Aah!
Damn it.
120
00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:42,159
[Wacky country music]
121
00:04:42,161 --> 00:04:43,461
Aah!
Agh!
122
00:04:43,463 --> 00:04:44,929
Ow!
Damn it!
123
00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:45,830
Agh!
124
00:04:47,299 --> 00:04:48,399
Aah!
125
00:04:48,401 --> 00:04:49,467
Ah! Ah!
126
00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:50,801
I'm gonna kick your ass!
127
00:04:50,803 --> 00:04:51,836
Agh!
128
00:04:53,038 --> 00:04:54,071
Aah!
129
00:04:56,975 --> 00:04:58,943
Uh... cool.
130
00:04:58,945 --> 00:05:00,378
Huh-huh.
I think we got it.
131
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:02,246
Um, heh, okay.
132
00:05:02,248 --> 00:05:03,414
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
133
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:05,016
You know, just put this here.
134
00:05:05,018 --> 00:05:06,217
Heh-heh-heh.
135
00:05:06,219 --> 00:05:07,151
Aah!
136
00:05:08,253 --> 00:05:09,287
Huh-huh.
137
00:05:09,289 --> 00:05:10,688
Heh-heh. Heh-heh.
138
00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:13,157
Oh, yeah. Heh-heh.
139
00:05:14,326 --> 00:05:15,826
Huh-huh-huh.
140
00:05:15,828 --> 00:05:17,995
[Both laughing]
141
00:05:17,997 --> 00:05:19,263
Yeah, we got you now.
142
00:05:19,265 --> 00:05:20,564
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
Shh.
143
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,735
Uh... go check
the trap, Beavis.
144
00:05:24,737 --> 00:05:26,470
Huh? Um, heh.
145
00:05:26,472 --> 00:05:28,339
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
146
00:05:28,341 --> 00:05:30,241
♪ Buh-buh-bow ♪
147
00:05:30,243 --> 00:05:31,842
♪ buh-bum-bum ♪
148
00:05:31,844 --> 00:05:32,910
♪ uhh uhh ♪
149
00:05:32,912 --> 00:05:34,578
Heh-heh-heh.
150
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,414
Why'd I come in here again?
151
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,215
Heh. Ooh, nachos!
152
00:05:38,217 --> 00:05:39,216
Heh-heh-heh.
153
00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:40,384
[Snap]
Oww!
154
00:05:40,386 --> 00:05:41,852
- Huh-huh.
- Ah, damn it!
155
00:05:41,854 --> 00:05:43,254
Damn it! Ow!
156
00:05:43,256 --> 00:05:44,689
Heh-heh-heh.
157
00:05:46,558 --> 00:05:49,994
Uh... what's that noise?
Huh-huh.
158
00:05:49,996 --> 00:05:51,262
Huh? Heh.
[Tapping]
159
00:05:51,264 --> 00:05:53,164
I don't know.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
160
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,099
Go see what that noise is,
Beavis.
161
00:05:55,101 --> 00:05:57,802
Huh-huh.
It's in the kitchen.
162
00:05:57,804 --> 00:05:59,236
Heh. Okay.
163
00:05:59,238 --> 00:06:00,404
Heh-heh-heh.
164
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:02,306
It's probably
the garbage disposal.
165
00:06:02,308 --> 00:06:04,075
Heh, yeah.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
166
00:06:05,444 --> 00:06:06,811
Aah! Aah!
167
00:06:06,813 --> 00:06:08,179
Butt-head!
Butt-head, come here!
168
00:06:08,181 --> 00:06:10,781
It's... it's alive!
Aah! It's...
169
00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:12,850
It's caught in the...
Caught in the trap!
170
00:06:12,852 --> 00:06:14,819
Aah! No! Aah! Aah!
171
00:06:14,821 --> 00:06:16,320
- I'll get it.
- No!
172
00:06:16,322 --> 00:06:17,989
Get out of here, butthole!
[Squeaks]
173
00:06:17,991 --> 00:06:19,357
Aah! Eh!
174
00:06:19,359 --> 00:06:20,558
This is freaking me out.
175
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,726
Get out of here!
176
00:06:21,728 --> 00:06:23,060
Aah! Aah!
177
00:06:23,062 --> 00:06:24,462
Get it off! Aah!
178
00:06:24,464 --> 00:06:25,763
Aah!
179
00:06:25,765 --> 00:06:26,764
Ow!
180
00:06:26,766 --> 00:06:30,201
That was cool.
181
00:06:30,203 --> 00:06:32,103
Ow, heh.
Damn it.
182
00:06:32,105 --> 00:06:33,170
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
183
00:06:38,906 --> 00:06:42,075
Uh, I think this rat
likes you or something.
184
00:06:42,165 --> 00:06:44,131
'Cause you, like,
saved his life.
185
00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:45,433
Yeah, it's pretty cool, yeah.
186
00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:47,134
Heh-heh.
How's it goin'?
187
00:06:47,136 --> 00:06:49,136
Heh-heh.
188
00:06:49,138 --> 00:06:51,873
Uh, what should we
do with it? Huh-huh.
189
00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:53,674
Um, I don't know, like,
maybe, like,
190
00:06:53,676 --> 00:06:56,244
keep it as a pet or something?
191
00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:57,812
Uh, okay.
192
00:06:57,814 --> 00:06:58,813
Huh-huh.
193
00:06:58,815 --> 00:07:00,748
Boy, Beavis, that rat dude
194
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:02,750
really likes you,
huh-huh.
195
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:06,087
He must be like a metrosexual
or something.
196
00:07:06,089 --> 00:07:07,455
Shut up, butthole!
197
00:07:11,426 --> 00:07:12,793
[Sizzling]
198
00:07:16,064 --> 00:07:17,064
There you go, heh.
199
00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:18,733
That's a good boy.
200
00:07:18,735 --> 00:07:20,167
Make yourself at home.
201
00:07:20,169 --> 00:07:21,168
Heh-heh, yeah.
202
00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:22,770
[Squeaking]
203
00:07:25,407 --> 00:07:27,642
Uh, yeah, I'd like
a double cheeseburger
204
00:07:27,644 --> 00:07:28,643
and large fries, please.
205
00:07:28,645 --> 00:07:30,044
Uh, ok.
206
00:07:30,046 --> 00:07:31,879
[Register beeping]
Huh-huh.
207
00:07:31,881 --> 00:07:33,748
And how are you today?
Huh-huh.
208
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,816
All right, boy, come on.
209
00:07:35,818 --> 00:07:37,184
Move aside.
210
00:07:37,186 --> 00:07:38,286
Good boy.
211
00:07:38,288 --> 00:07:40,021
Yeah, heh-heh.
212
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:41,355
Okay, all yours.
213
00:07:41,357 --> 00:07:42,256
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
214
00:07:44,293 --> 00:07:45,593
Is it gonna be long?
215
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,861
Huh-huh.
216
00:07:46,863 --> 00:07:49,563
You said, "long."
217
00:07:49,565 --> 00:07:51,465
Yeah, yeah.
Heh-heh. "Long."
218
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:53,134
Huh-huh.
219
00:07:53,136 --> 00:07:54,535
Yeah, heh-heh.
220
00:07:54,537 --> 00:07:56,237
Ah, here you go.
221
00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:58,172
Aww.
222
00:07:58,174 --> 00:07:59,674
Looks like we got some company.
223
00:07:59,676 --> 00:08:00,775
Aah! A rat!
224
00:08:00,777 --> 00:08:02,777
- Aw.
- Yeah.
225
00:08:02,779 --> 00:08:04,745
He really likes fries.
Aah!
226
00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:07,114
Yeah, and he seems
to like the buns too, yeah.
227
00:08:07,116 --> 00:08:08,316
I'm gonna report this.
228
00:08:08,318 --> 00:08:09,617
This is a health violation.
229
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,885
Yeah, huh-huh.
230
00:08:10,887 --> 00:08:13,187
The food here sucks.
231
00:08:13,189 --> 00:08:15,256
Huh-huh-huh-huh.
232
00:08:15,258 --> 00:08:16,590
Yeah, really.
233
00:08:16,592 --> 00:08:18,993
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
234
00:08:18,995 --> 00:08:23,197
♪
235
00:08:23,199 --> 00:08:25,299
Whoa! Cool.
236
00:08:25,301 --> 00:08:26,934
Yeah. Yeah.
237
00:08:26,936 --> 00:08:29,770
I like watching people
fall down on tv.
238
00:08:29,772 --> 00:08:32,039
Funny.
Heh-heh, heh-heh.
239
00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:35,409
Yeah, it's like if he was
just falling down stairs,
240
00:08:35,411 --> 00:08:36,877
it would be over fast.
241
00:08:36,879 --> 00:08:39,280
But with an escalator,
it just keeps going.
242
00:08:39,282 --> 00:08:42,950
You know,
it'd be funnier if he was fat,
243
00:08:42,952 --> 00:08:45,419
but you know,
this is still pretty cool.
244
00:08:45,421 --> 00:08:46,954
Yeah.
245
00:08:46,956 --> 00:08:49,724
This rules.
Huh-huh.
246
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:52,760
I could watch this forever.
Huh-huh.
247
00:08:52,762 --> 00:08:56,230
I don't think he really even
wants to get up the escalator.
248
00:08:56,232 --> 00:08:58,099
Maybe if he'd go buy something
249
00:08:58,101 --> 00:09:00,334
instead of monkeying around
on the escalator
250
00:09:00,336 --> 00:09:02,136
the economy wouldn't suck.
251
00:09:02,138 --> 00:09:03,804
Yeah, yeah.
Come on...
252
00:09:03,806 --> 00:09:05,806
Get off your butt
and get up that escalator
253
00:09:05,808 --> 00:09:08,542
and go buy a cinnabon!
Heh-heh.
254
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:11,312
Maybe some dippin' dots.
Dippin' dots, yeah.
255
00:09:11,314 --> 00:09:13,247
Heh-heh, heh-heh.
256
00:09:13,249 --> 00:09:15,416
See... see, right here,
during this part,
257
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:17,084
they should be playing
some, like, uh,
258
00:09:17,086 --> 00:09:19,286
you know, some old-timey
piano music, you know.
259
00:09:19,288 --> 00:09:22,189
[Hums lively piano riff]
260
00:09:22,191 --> 00:09:23,958
[Both laughing]
261
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,060
His kid's probably, like,
262
00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:29,030
"uh, where's daddy
with my birthday presents?"
263
00:09:29,032 --> 00:09:30,498
Huh-huh.
264
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,333
He's drunk at the mall again,
265
00:09:32,335 --> 00:09:34,001
flailing around
on the escalator.
266
00:09:34,003 --> 00:09:37,605
[Both laughing]
267
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,009
[Both laughing]
268
00:09:42,011 --> 00:09:44,779
[Door opens]
269
00:09:44,781 --> 00:09:46,981
What the hell is going on?
270
00:09:46,983 --> 00:09:49,750
I just got a call saying
there was a rat in here?
271
00:09:49,752 --> 00:09:51,419
Yeah, check it out.
272
00:09:51,421 --> 00:09:53,020
It pooped everywhere.
273
00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,922
[Both laughing]
Oh, God.
274
00:09:54,924 --> 00:09:56,657
I'll have to call
the exterminator.
275
00:09:56,659 --> 00:09:58,125
Heh, yeah, we had to throw out
276
00:09:58,127 --> 00:09:59,593
all those traps you had,
you know?
277
00:09:59,595 --> 00:10:01,162
Heh, he almost died.
278
00:10:01,164 --> 00:10:04,532
[Sighs]
Okay, where... where's the rat now?
279
00:10:04,534 --> 00:10:06,467
Uh.
280
00:10:06,469 --> 00:10:08,436
Well, I had him right here
on the counter a minute ago.
281
00:10:08,438 --> 00:10:09,804
I don't...
282
00:10:09,806 --> 00:10:12,039
It's not funny, guys.
Okay?
283
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:13,441
This is very serious.
284
00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:15,042
And now we're gonna
have to throw away
285
00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:17,511
all the food.
286
00:10:17,513 --> 00:10:18,979
Heh.
287
00:10:18,981 --> 00:10:20,214
Here, boy.
Come on.
288
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:21,215
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
289
00:10:21,217 --> 00:10:22,616
Uh, here, rat.
290
00:10:22,618 --> 00:10:25,953
Heh, here, boy.
291
00:10:25,955 --> 00:10:27,788
Rat?
292
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,390
Whoa. Heh-heh.
293
00:10:29,392 --> 00:10:33,394
Well, I guess it's, like,
not a dude after all.
294
00:10:33,396 --> 00:10:34,395
[Squeaking]
295
00:10:34,397 --> 00:10:35,429
Oh, yeah, yeah.
296
00:10:35,431 --> 00:10:38,303
This is cool. Heh. Heh.
297
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:44,952
♪
298
00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:48,728
♪
299
00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:53,846
Class, this weekend,
I'm organizing a trip
300
00:10:53,848 --> 00:10:55,848
down to the Gulf of Mexico.
301
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:57,570
As you are all well aware,
302
00:10:57,572 --> 00:10:59,738
this oil spill is a crisis
303
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:02,074
of unprecedented proportion.
304
00:11:02,076 --> 00:11:05,177
It's done great damage
to the Wetlands.
305
00:11:05,179 --> 00:11:07,746
[Both laughing]
Gant tar balls
306
00:11:07,748 --> 00:11:10,115
are washing up
all along the coast.
307
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:12,451
And then there's the birds.
308
00:11:12,453 --> 00:11:14,854
It's too late for a lot
of the older birds,
309
00:11:14,856 --> 00:11:17,056
but we can still rescue
the chicks.
310
00:11:17,058 --> 00:11:19,091
Uh, chicks?
311
00:11:19,093 --> 00:11:20,326
Yeah, I'm listening.
312
00:11:20,328 --> 00:11:23,128
Yes, Butt-Head, so many
of these poor chicks
313
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:24,230
are dirty.
314
00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:25,731
They're just filthy.
315
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:26,832
Whoa.
316
00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:28,267
Filthy chicks.
317
00:11:28,269 --> 00:11:30,135
Yeah, heh, yeah.
Filthy chicks.
318
00:11:30,137 --> 00:11:32,738
Yes, and we need people
to go down there
319
00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:33,772
and wash them.
320
00:11:33,774 --> 00:11:35,374
Are there any volunteers?
321
00:11:35,376 --> 00:11:36,842
Uh, yeah.
322
00:11:36,844 --> 00:11:39,011
Huh-huh.
Count me in.
323
00:11:39,013 --> 00:11:41,814
Yeah, this weekend's
good for me.
324
00:11:41,816 --> 00:11:42,815
Oh, great.
325
00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:44,683
Thank you,
Beavis and Butt-Head.
326
00:11:44,685 --> 00:11:46,285
- Huh-huh.
- Heh.
327
00:11:46,287 --> 00:11:47,820
Filthy chicks.
328
00:11:47,822 --> 00:11:49,822
Yeah, yeah. Heh.
329
00:11:49,824 --> 00:11:50,823
[Both laughing]
330
00:11:50,825 --> 00:11:52,391
This is gonna be cool.
331
00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:54,727
Heh, boing-oing-oing-oing.
332
00:11:54,729 --> 00:11:56,795
[Both laughing]
333
00:11:56,797 --> 00:11:58,864
♪
334
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:01,867
We in trouble.
We're about to go to jail.
335
00:12:01,869 --> 00:12:03,836
Hey, is my hair messed up?
336
00:12:03,838 --> 00:12:05,304
You look wonderful.
337
00:12:05,306 --> 00:12:08,040
The music's always horrible
in these shows.
338
00:12:08,042 --> 00:12:09,775
Yeah.
Huh-huh.
339
00:12:11,678 --> 00:12:14,914
♪ Best friends, best friends,
best friends ♪
340
00:12:14,916 --> 00:12:16,215
Huh-huh, huh-huh.
341
00:12:16,217 --> 00:12:18,017
I got a beautiful girlfriend.
342
00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:19,585
Oh, my God, I hope she don't
bail on me tonight
343
00:12:19,587 --> 00:12:20,653
after this [bleep].
344
00:12:20,655 --> 00:12:22,488
My dad's gonna whup my ass,
period.
345
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:26,091
His dad knows
that he's a dumbass.
346
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,327
I think they're being
a little too hard on themselves.
347
00:12:28,329 --> 00:12:30,262
I mean... I mean,
they're not that dumb.
348
00:12:30,264 --> 00:12:31,664
Yeah, really.
349
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:34,767
I mean, they figured out
how to get booze.
350
00:12:34,769 --> 00:12:36,902
And that one dude said
he has a girlfriend.
351
00:12:36,904 --> 00:12:38,037
Huh-huh.
352
00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:40,039
Plus, like,
once you go to jail,
353
00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:42,308
you can get
all the chicks you want.
354
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:44,043
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, chicks are, like,
355
00:12:44,045 --> 00:12:47,980
"ooh, he's been to jail.
Heh, check him out."
356
00:12:47,982 --> 00:12:49,181
Heh-heh, heh-heh.
357
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:50,549
You're human, I'm human.
358
00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:52,518
I've learned, he's learned.
359
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,620
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's learned.
360
00:12:54,622 --> 00:12:55,955
Come on, we haven't learned!
361
00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:59,024
Come on, teach us!
Where did you get the booze,
362
00:12:59,026 --> 00:13:01,193
and how did you get
the girlfriend?
363
00:13:01,195 --> 00:13:04,430
Heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh.
These guys are just so cool.
364
00:13:04,432 --> 00:13:06,999
Yeah, it's like we're
sitting here on the couch,
365
00:13:07,001 --> 00:13:08,968
and they're out there
making it happen.
366
00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:10,235
Yeah. Heh-heh, heh-heh.
367
00:13:10,237 --> 00:13:13,238
Yeah, it's like
they're doing things
368
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,007
and getting girlfriends
and booze.
369
00:13:15,009 --> 00:13:18,077
Yeah, see, we need to
get up off our butts
370
00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:21,013
and go figure things out
and do stuff
371
00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:22,815
like Roger and John here.
372
00:13:22,817 --> 00:13:24,049
Yeah. Heh-heh, heh-heh.
373
00:13:24,051 --> 00:13:25,317
Yeah. Huh-huh.
374
00:13:25,319 --> 00:13:27,619
Finally, MTV's putting on
some, like,
375
00:13:27,621 --> 00:13:29,555
inspirational shows.
376
00:13:29,557 --> 00:13:32,391
Heh-heh. Yeah.
Heh-heh.
377
00:13:32,393 --> 00:13:35,227
Officer Wickham's gonna
give 'em both a cavity search.
378
00:13:35,229 --> 00:13:39,565
[Both laughing]
379
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:41,200
Thanks for coming, guys.
380
00:13:41,202 --> 00:13:43,202
It's always great to have
new volunteers
381
00:13:43,204 --> 00:13:44,670
looking to help out.
382
00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:46,905
Yeah, we're just here
for the chicks.
383
00:13:46,907 --> 00:13:49,942
Heh, yeah, the filthy ones.
384
00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:52,544
All right, now,
before we get started,
385
00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:54,079
you have to learn
how to do it right.
386
00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:55,614
Huh-huh-huh-huh.
387
00:13:55,616 --> 00:13:57,116
Here's a beautiful one.
388
00:13:57,118 --> 00:13:58,617
Now, watch me closely.
389
00:13:58,619 --> 00:13:59,718
Once you're ready,
390
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,087
you can start rubbing
and stroking.
391
00:14:02,089 --> 00:14:03,689
Uh... okay.
392
00:14:03,691 --> 00:14:05,591
Whenever you put
that bird down.
393
00:14:05,593 --> 00:14:07,359
Yeah, heh, yeah.
Let me in there.
394
00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:09,328
Rub all over, okay?
395
00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,562
Start with the breast.
396
00:14:10,564 --> 00:14:12,831
That's the most sensitive area.
397
00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,533
And once they're clean,
the chicks relax
398
00:14:14,535 --> 00:14:17,336
and the rest becomes
much easier.
399
00:14:17,338 --> 00:14:19,571
Not yet.
I know you're eager.
400
00:14:19,573 --> 00:14:21,240
But you have to take your time.
401
00:14:21,242 --> 00:14:23,475
The whole thing should
take about a half an hour.
402
00:14:23,477 --> 00:14:25,010
That's right, baby.
403
00:14:25,012 --> 00:14:26,145
Huh-huh-huh-huh.
404
00:14:26,147 --> 00:14:27,579
Nice and slow.
405
00:14:27,581 --> 00:14:29,348
Oh, yeah.
406
00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:31,850
Uh, Maya, sorry to bug you,
407
00:14:31,852 --> 00:14:33,685
but Mitch threw up again.
408
00:14:33,687 --> 00:14:35,421
Can't say I blame him.
409
00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:37,589
Boys, are you ready
to get really dirty?
410
00:14:37,591 --> 00:14:39,291
Heh, yeah.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
411
00:14:39,293 --> 00:14:40,826
I mean filthy.
412
00:14:40,828 --> 00:14:42,261
Uh, Maya...
413
00:14:42,263 --> 00:14:44,730
I don't think there's anything
too filthy for me.
414
00:14:44,732 --> 00:14:46,365
Heh, yeah, yeah.
Me neither, heh.
415
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:48,267
[Chuckles]
You two.
416
00:14:48,269 --> 00:14:50,335
Okay, now, usually
when we do this,
417
00:14:50,337 --> 00:14:51,336
you end up covered in oil.
418
00:14:51,338 --> 00:14:52,704
- Huh-huh.
- Heh-heh.
419
00:14:52,706 --> 00:14:54,239
Usually, when I do this...
420
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,908
I mean, I've never done it,
421
00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:58,577
but, I mean, when I think
about doing it...
422
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,345
I end up covered
in lotion, so, you know,
423
00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:02,247
heh, it's no problem.
424
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,116
Hey, where's she going?
425
00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:07,419
Uh, she's gonna go clean up
that dude's barf.
426
00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:09,588
Heh. Wow, heh.
Well, you know...
427
00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:12,257
Whatever she's into, you know?
428
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,760
We better have some oil ready
for when she gets back.
429
00:15:14,762 --> 00:15:17,896
Heh, oh, yeah.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
430
00:15:17,898 --> 00:15:19,298
Oh, check it out, Butt-Head.
431
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:21,366
That bird's got oil
all over it.
432
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,857
The oil spill in the Gulf
433
00:15:25,899 --> 00:15:27,532
isn't just hurting people.
434
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:29,767
It's hurting plants
and animals,
435
00:15:29,769 --> 00:15:32,504
which are two other
kinds of life.
436
00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:34,405
But it's not all bad news.
437
00:15:34,407 --> 00:15:37,475
Which brings us to this week's
local hero,
438
00:15:37,477 --> 00:15:38,476
Maya Kanigher.
439
00:15:38,478 --> 00:15:40,078
She's leading the effort
440
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,046
to clean the many baby birds
441
00:15:42,048 --> 00:15:44,382
damaged by this spill.
442
00:15:44,384 --> 00:15:46,651
When I saw what was happening
to the birds here...
443
00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:48,920
- Mm.
- I knew I had to act
444
00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:50,321
to save the chicks.
445
00:15:50,323 --> 00:15:51,523
Mm.
446
00:15:51,525 --> 00:15:53,625
Wait, to save the, uh...
447
00:15:53,627 --> 00:15:55,226
The baby birds?
448
00:15:55,228 --> 00:15:56,594
Oh, right, right.
449
00:15:56,596 --> 00:15:58,897
Maya has organized
an assembly line
450
00:15:58,899 --> 00:16:01,900
of young idealists
who gather the birds,
451
00:16:01,902 --> 00:16:04,235
clean them, and dry them.
452
00:16:04,237 --> 00:16:06,304
These young volunteers
453
00:16:06,306 --> 00:16:08,540
are certainly doing their part.
454
00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:09,707
Yeah, well, um, heh.
455
00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:12,176
So this is like, um,
this is, like, oil.
456
00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:14,779
Yeah... and we're
covered in it.
457
00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:16,047
And we're gonna do it.
458
00:16:16,049 --> 00:16:17,949
Yeah. Heh-heh.
459
00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:19,284
Boi-oi-oi-oing.
460
00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:20,818
[Both laughing]
461
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:23,454
That is an inspiring sentiment.
462
00:16:23,456 --> 00:16:26,224
We are all going to do it.
463
00:16:26,226 --> 00:16:28,760
We are all going to do it.
464
00:16:28,762 --> 00:16:29,861
Get in line, dude.
465
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:31,496
Back to you, Gina.
466
00:16:32,831 --> 00:16:34,566
[Police radio chatter]
467
00:16:34,568 --> 00:16:36,668
Whoa, they arrested Snooki?
Heh-heh-heh.
468
00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:38,736
[Crying]
Is this really
happening right now?
469
00:16:38,738 --> 00:16:40,071
Heh-heh.
470
00:16:40,073 --> 00:16:42,240
[Mocking her]
"Is this really
happening right now?"
471
00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:44,008
She sounds like that little kid
472
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,311
that went to the dentist
on Youtube.
473
00:16:46,313 --> 00:16:48,546
They just arrested Nicole.
474
00:16:48,548 --> 00:16:49,581
For what?
475
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:52,183
For being drunk and an idiot!
476
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:54,485
Wait a minute, you can get
arrested for being an idiot?
477
00:16:54,487 --> 00:16:55,853
Yeah. Huh-huh.
478
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:59,824
You better lay low
for a while, Beavis.
479
00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:02,160
Uh, so she's in jail?
480
00:17:02,162 --> 00:17:04,028
So she's not DTF?
Huh-huh.
481
00:17:04,030 --> 00:17:05,430
What about you guys?
482
00:17:05,432 --> 00:17:06,931
Any of you DTF?
Huh-huh.
483
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:08,166
Where is she?
484
00:17:08,168 --> 00:17:09,334
Hello?
485
00:17:09,336 --> 00:17:10,635
Jersey Shore.
How can I help you?
486
00:17:10,637 --> 00:17:11,636
Huh-huh-huh.
487
00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,504
[On phone]
Uh, okay. Well...
488
00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:15,273
Listen, you got something
to deal with right now.
489
00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:18,142
Boy, her boyfriend
talks like a wuss.
490
00:17:18,144 --> 00:17:20,211
Yeah, really.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
491
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,679
Okay?
So you couldn't do it
492
00:17:21,681 --> 00:17:23,948
on a four-second phone call?
Like, who are you?
493
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:25,683
Okay, heh-heh.
494
00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:27,852
"Who are you?
Are you DTF?"
495
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:28,853
Heh-heh-heh.
496
00:17:28,855 --> 00:17:31,956
This is a bad situation.
497
00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:35,026
The cops thought
she was a seal.
498
00:17:35,028 --> 00:17:37,128
- Get off! Get off!
- Huh-huh-huh-huh.
499
00:17:37,130 --> 00:17:38,796
Get the [bleep] off!
500
00:17:38,798 --> 00:17:40,298
I couldn't even tell you
501
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,799
how I felt in that jail cell.
502
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:44,302
It was like
a [bleep] phenomenon.
503
00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:46,037
- Uh...
- Oh, not a phenomenon.
504
00:17:46,039 --> 00:17:47,205
A [bleep] train wreck.
505
00:17:47,207 --> 00:17:49,007
Yeah, phenomenon, train wreck.
506
00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:50,541
I get those two
confused too, yeah.
507
00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:53,378
You need to understand
what you're doing to yourself
508
00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,412
and your body.
509
00:17:54,414 --> 00:17:56,080
Uh, all the guys in the house
510
00:17:56,082 --> 00:17:57,782
know what they're doing
to her body.
511
00:17:57,784 --> 00:18:00,084
[Both laugh]
512
00:18:00,086 --> 00:18:02,120
You should bury your head
in the sand.
513
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,622
Promise yourself
that you'll never put yourself
514
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:06,124
in that position again.
515
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,125
Um, heh.
516
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,292
"You're breaking up, dad."
517
00:18:08,294 --> 00:18:09,794
"I'm, heh, I'm just
gonna go ahead
518
00:18:09,796 --> 00:18:10,828
and hang up now, um, heh."
519
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:11,863
"Talk to you later."
520
00:18:11,865 --> 00:18:13,398
[Both laughing]
521
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,266
That's a father for you.
522
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:16,801
"I'm disappointed in you."
523
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:18,069
That's like, [raspberry].
524
00:18:18,071 --> 00:18:21,439
That word "disappoint"
really [bleep] hurts the heart.
525
00:18:21,441 --> 00:18:23,608
Hurts the heart?
No, it doesn't.
526
00:18:23,610 --> 00:18:26,110
People say they're disappointed
in me all the time.
527
00:18:26,112 --> 00:18:27,178
Yeah, heh-heh.
528
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,179
Doesn't bother me.
529
00:18:28,181 --> 00:18:30,415
Yeah.
530
00:18:30,417 --> 00:18:32,617
Me, neither.
Heh-heh.
531
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,806
Okay, you guys ready
to get that oil off you?
532
00:18:38,893 --> 00:18:40,492
Uh, nice try.
533
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,727
Just move along.
534
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:43,462
Yeah, heh,
nothin' for you here.
535
00:18:43,464 --> 00:18:46,331
Keep it movin'.
536
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,066
Damn it, Beavis,
get out of the way.
537
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:49,368
That's my oil.
No, it's mine!
538
00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:50,569
Bunghole!
539
00:18:50,571 --> 00:18:51,904
Now look what you did.
[Pelican quacking]
540
00:18:51,906 --> 00:18:53,639
Butt-head, it's your fault!
It's mine!
541
00:18:53,641 --> 00:18:55,240
You okay?
542
00:18:55,242 --> 00:18:56,268
Yeah...
543
00:18:56,508 --> 00:18:59,125
It's just to get a little upsetting
sometimes.
544
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,792
I mean, look at this pathetic creatures
545
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:02,546
covered in oil.
546
00:19:02,786 --> 00:19:04,792
They're too poor for this world.
547
00:19:04,863 --> 00:19:05,342
Butt-hole!
548
00:19:05,398 --> 00:19:07,381
Now look at them: no parents,
549
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:09,578
no real home, no future...
550
00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:13,199
I mean, it's absolute worth
what the men can be produced.
551
00:19:13,439 --> 00:19:15,823
I look at them and I think:
"There's no hope."
552
00:19:15,919 --> 00:19:18,340
"What can one person do?"
553
00:19:18,388 --> 00:19:19,926
It can't make it a difference.
554
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:26,920
Beavis, Butt-Head!
555
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,674
I hope, that you didn't just here me
spewing doubts and despondency.
556
00:19:30,914 --> 00:19:33,139
Huh, I'm covered in oil.
557
00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:34,508
Yes, you are.
558
00:19:34,554 --> 00:19:35,844
You both are.
559
00:19:36,157 --> 00:19:38,287
And you're even think
about giving up,
560
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,624
because you're believe in
what we're doing.
561
00:19:40,757 --> 00:19:42,890
You know, we're making a difference.
562
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:45,355
Do you think I'm making a difference?
563
00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:47,869
Uh, you're making a difference.
564
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:50,827
In my pants.
565
00:19:50,878 --> 00:19:56,786
Synch and correct by MemoryOnSmells
www.addic7ed.com
565
00:19:57,305 --> 00:20:57,820
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