1 00:00:00,602 --> 00:00:07,107 MOST WANTED 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,035 Coming soon to a theater near you 3 00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:14,410 it's "Weekend at Bernie's Part 7". 4 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,107 That's right, Bernie's still dead and he's stiffer than ever. 5 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,208 Cool. 6 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:20,913 Yeah. 7 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,749 We're back with a breaking story. 8 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,224 Eyewitness Action News has just learned 9 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:30,128 that a deranged serial killer 10 00:00:30,129 --> 00:00:31,664 has escaped from the county jail. 11 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,292 - Cool. - Yeah. 12 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:38,271 Unfortunately, we only have this crude sketch of the escaped killer. 13 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,171 But it shouldn't be too hard to identify 14 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:45,038 since he has a jailhouse tattoo of the word "killer" on his forehead. 15 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,808 I wish all words were that cool. 16 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,180 Yeah. Me too. 17 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,085 lf you should encounter this individual 18 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,843 do not, repeat, 19 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,649 do not attempt to bring him into custody yourself. 20 00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:00,382 Contact the police immediately. 21 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,094 This individual is armed and dangerous. 22 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:06,693 However if you're ignorant enough to go after him yourself 23 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,928 there is a $ 25,000 reward. 24 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,805 Hey Beavis, l bet when we get that reward money 25 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,334 we can, like, see that movie about stiffies 26 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,208 and we can, like, pay for our own tattoos. 27 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,510 Yeah, yeah. 28 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:23,744 Then we'll be cool. 29 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,319 I'll get a tattoo of a butt. 30 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,922 I'll get a tattoo of a butt on my butt. 31 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,052 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 32 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:39,062 Well, I'll get a tattoo of a butt that has a butt-shaped tattoo on it... 33 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,934 and I'll get it right on my butt. 34 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,666 That would be cool. 35 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,139 Yeah, me too. 36 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:57,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 37 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,124 Well, there's a chick... 38 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,493 She's singing... 39 00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:25,704 I think, like, a couple of minutes later she is gonna shake her boobs. 40 00:02:26,235 --> 00:02:27,235 Yeah, yeah! 41 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,046 We don't want to miss that. 42 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,222 - Cool! - Yes, yes! 43 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,826 That part is pretty cool. 44 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,465 I like chicks that have their own room. 45 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,940 She needs, like, some posters and stuff. 46 00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,742 Yeah. As a barbed wire. 47 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,872 Wire, wire, wire. 48 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,915 Barbed wire? Why? 49 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,376 I don't know. I have some barbed wire in my room. It's pretty cool. 50 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,781 How come you have barbed wire in your room? 51 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:13,420 Well, sometimes at night, there's like, these foreigners that try to come in my room. 52 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,492 What are you talking about, Beavis? 53 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,298 You know... 54 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,199 I think they're trying to, like, steal secrets. 55 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,364 You're stupid, Beavis. 56 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,894 Yeah, thanks. 57 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,654 He knows a chick who makes toast? 58 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,325 - So what? - Yeah. 59 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,262 - I can make toast. - Yeah, really. 60 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,380 I think this is college music. 61 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,480 You can tell because that dude has orange hair. 62 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:15,719 Yeah. 63 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,189 That part is pretty cool. 64 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,964 Then it's like, you can also tell it's college music 65 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,995 because it's like, they are in a field. 66 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,632 Fields suck. 67 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,209 How come he keeps singing about these people he knows? 68 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,810 - Who gives a rat's ass? - Yeah, yeah. 69 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:52,122 I know a guy! His hair is orange! 70 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:53,617 He sucks! 71 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,590 Butt tattoos are cool. 72 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,893 Yeah. 73 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,932 Butt tattoos kick ass. 74 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,703 And ass tattoos kick butt. 75 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,834 Speaking of butts, Beavis... 76 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:46,506 did you just cut the cheese? 77 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:49,739 Sounded like it came from outside. 78 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,847 What are you, some kind of butt-ventriloquist? 79 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,113 Yeah. 80 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,216 That would be cool. 81 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,751 Are you sure you didn't cut the cheese? 82 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:04,796 Shut up, Butt-Head. 83 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,171 Maybe it was, like, a wild animal with rabies. 84 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:13,668 Yeah, yeah. 85 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,001 Let's catch it. 86 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,006 I always wanted a pet with rabies. 87 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:20,408 Hey Beavis, 88 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,182 did you know when you get rabies... 89 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,550 the doctor gives you, like, 200 shots in the stomach 90 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,315 with this really long needle? 91 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,086 It feels like this. 92 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,032 Whoa. 93 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,409 That knife is cool. 94 00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:50,832 Yeah. 95 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,602 Do you use that for, like, cutting and stuff? 96 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,246 Yeah. Cutting people. 97 00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,746 - Whoa! - Yeah. 98 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:04,852 Hey Beavis... 99 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,729 remember that thing we were watching about that escaped killer dude? 100 00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:09,663 Yeah, yeah. 101 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,959 I bet this guy is tracking him down, too. 102 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,201 If he sees him first, he could get our reward money. 103 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,171 - That would suck! - Yeah. 104 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:24,305 Are you, like, trying to track down that escaped killer? 105 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,868 'cause we need the money. 106 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,870 For tattoos. 107 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,543 And we decided to track him down first. 108 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:31,606 Yeah. 109 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:35,277 I wouldn't want to have to, you know, kick your ass or anything. 110 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,780 I'm tracking people down too, man. 111 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:41,186 But nobody on my list is an escaped killer. 112 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,227 See, l don't need money for a tattoo... 113 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,090 'cause I already have one. 114 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,006 Check this out. 115 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,165 You guys are not going to get any chicks looking like this. 116 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,802 Yes they will, dumbass. 117 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,165 Didn't you know that, like, all you have to do is be in a video 118 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,405 and you automatically get chicks? 119 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,666 Oh yeah. That's cool. 120 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,612 It's like, all you gotta do is go out and say: 121 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,075 Hey baby... 122 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,417 I'm, like, in a video... 123 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,510 Wanna, you know... 124 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,722 Hey, leave her alone. 125 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,319 Leave her alone. 126 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,689 Fartknocker! 127 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,527 I'll kick your ass. 128 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,286 These guys are, like, a cross between... 129 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,482 Danzig and Megadeth. 130 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,887 I think they're like a cross between Danzig and my butt. 131 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,759 That wasn't very nice, Butt-Head. 132 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,367 Yeah it was. It was a compliment. 133 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,565 My butt rules. 134 00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:32,867 Yeah. 135 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,781 He said "number one". 136 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,492 Eww, he stepped in it. 137 00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,395 Someobody has to clean it up. 138 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,771 This video is all serious. 139 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,239 Yeah, it seriously sucks. 140 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,016 Hey Butt-Head. 141 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:20,809 This sucks, huh? 142 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,812 It sure does, Beavis. 143 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:28,127 These guys are skinny wimps, too. 144 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:32,125 But they could still kick Axl's ass. 145 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:37,930 Whoa! 146 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,672 - That was kinda cool. - Where? 147 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,682 I'm getting dizzy. 148 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,549 Me too. 149 00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:55,754 I'm gonna vomit. 150 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,733 Check out the bee. 151 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:22,704 Shut up, Beavis. 152 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,818 That monkey was cool. 153 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,619 I'd like to spank it. 154 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,026 Hey Beavis... 155 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,223 - he wants someone to pull his finger. - Yeah. 156 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,456 Now he's pointing down there. 157 00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,580 Whoa! 158 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:05,822 Cool. 159 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,688 It says: "KILER". 160 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,628 - Yeah, is that your name? - "Kiler"? 161 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,926 "Kiler", I like that. 162 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,708 Good one, Kiler. 163 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,115 Yeah, yeah, that was cool. 164 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,014 You hear that? 165 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,614 Hear what? 166 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,815 The voices. Voices are everywhere. 167 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,322 They're calling me. 168 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:42,720 They guide me. 169 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,355 They command me. 170 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,831 And forever I must obey! 171 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,302 Yeah, voices are cool. 172 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,430 I hear voices, too. 173 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,342 They, like, tell me to do stuff, like stay home from school... 174 00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,834 and watch TV and, like, break stuff. 175 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,136 And, like, just... 176 00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,683 Preach on, Brother Beavis. 177 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,344 Yeah, and sometimes the voices tell me to do other stuff like... 178 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,649 even cooler stuff. 179 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:11,055 Like, this voice said: "Beavis, go get a gum wrapper 180 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,849 and, like, roll it up into a cone 181 00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:15,155 and, like, stick it in the butt of a big old horsefly". 182 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,293 And it's like, the fly just flies straight up. 183 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,561 And it's like, it keeps going up, and it can't come down 184 00:13:19,561 --> 00:13:22,029 'cause it can't fly anywhere else, and, like, keeps going up 185 00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,593 until it dies of exhaustion 186 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,495 and then it falls down. 187 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:29,499 Settle down, Beavis. 188 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,400 You're twisted, man! 189 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,409 Yours is twisted. 190 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,047 You twisted yours when you were chocking it. 191 00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,126 Yeah. 192 00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,469 Yeah. 193 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,877 You know, l'm always gonna remember you guys. 194 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:14,513 And now it's time for me to give you boys something to remember me by. 195 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,380 Get moving! 196 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,524 - This may hurt a little. - Yeah. 197 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:32,401 Let me get this straight. You want a tattoo of a butt 198 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,537 which has a butt-shaped tattoo on it? 199 00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:36,701 Yeah. 200 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,103 And I want it right on my butt. 201 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:43,673 Hey Butt-Head, how come you're so interested in butts? 202 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,047 Shut up, Beavis. 203 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,411 Yeah. 204 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,396 Oh man! 205 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:03,959 What is this? 206 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:08,372 This guy really sucks. 207 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,972 And I'm not just saying that either. 208 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,213 Where's he going with that magazine? 209 00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,357 He's going into the bathroom... 210 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,085 and he's taking those guys with him. 211 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,189 Yeah. 212 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:42,037 "Sing me a song, you're the piano man". 213 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:52,749 Whoa! 214 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,348 That’s a pretty cool shirt. 215 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,218 Yeah, that guy is cool. 216 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,820 - Whoa, spit, spit! Cool! - Yeah. 217 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,455 Whoa, look at the nads on that pig. 218 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,973 You know, I got nads like that. 219 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,067 Really, you got pig nads? 220 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,402 Sort of. 221 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,587 Whoa, that concubine is gonna run them over. 222 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,428 - Yes! - No way, dumbass. 223 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,724 That's not really running them over. 224 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,199 Yeah it is! Look! 225 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:43,992 No way, Beavis. 226 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,966 That is just, like, one of those tricks, uh... 227 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,066 trick pornography... things. 228 00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,243 No way, Butt-Head. They were gone as soon as it left. 229 00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:55,242 Beavis, if that thing killed him, how come they're still singing? 230 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,910 I don't know. 231 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,979 Dumbass. 232 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,062 You know, like, with those monster trucks and like, that pig and everything... 233 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,159 this video is turning out to be pretty cool. 234 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,260 Yeah, yeah. 235 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,299 And don't forget about the big nads. 236 00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:20,463 I didn't forget, Beavis. 237 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,000 That's part of the pig. 238 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,308 Oh yeah. 239 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,516 - Now we're cool. - Yeah. Yeah. 240 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:41,558 We have a bizarre but welcome update on a breaking story. 241 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,528 The serial killer who escaped yesterday from the state penitentiary 242 00:17:45,529 --> 00:17:47,567 is now back behind bars 243 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,695 and authorities say he turned himself in. 244 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,904 He claims voices have directed him to a new calling. 245 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,566 A warden at the state penitentiary described him as a new man 246 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,073 a model prisoner. 247 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:03,839 According to officials he says he will now serve out his life sentence 248 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,399 administering tattoos to the derrières of his fellow inmates. 249 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,756 These are tattoos of derrières 250 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,053 with derrière-shaped tattoos on them. 251 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,695 - In other news, the 5... - Hey Butt-Head, what did that guy say? 252 00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:20,796 I don't know. 253 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,016 I wanna spit in their faces… 254 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,575 She's gonna spit on someone? 255 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,149 Yeah, yeah. Go for it. 256 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,586 That would be pretty cool. 257 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,123 Is that Dave Mustaine? 258 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:51,995 Yeah, yeah. 259 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,098 "I got a bowling ball in my stomach... 260 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,730 I got a desert in my mouth…". 261 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:01,264 That was pretty good, Beavis. 262 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,533 Yeah, thanks. 263 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,348 How many videos are they gonna make with chicks in a bathtub? 264 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:20,417 At least if they showed them naked it would be cool. 265 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:23,360 Yeah. How come they never have chicks in showers? 266 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,059 Like in soap commercials. 267 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,398 Did you ever see that soap commercial where that chick gets stabbed? 268 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,167 No, buttmunch... 269 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,203 that's that movie about those guys in the woods. 270 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,602 They're not in the woods. They're in the shower. 271 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,687 Is this, like, a commercial for VH1? 272 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,324 "The difference between you and your parents". 273 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,421 Yeah. 274 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,396 That's stupid. 275 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,600 What's that red thing? 276 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,200 I think it's toilet paper. 277 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:10,904 Yeah. 278 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,001 It's toilet paper! 279 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,623 This sounds pretty cool for Ugly Kid Joe. 280 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,354 Yeah, yeah. 281 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,563 Hey Butt-Head, I don't think this is Ugly Kid Joe. 282 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,925 Well... 283 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:36,458 He's ugly... 284 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,138 I don't know, I don't think he's that bad. 285 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,883 - This part of the song rules. - Yeah, yeah. 286 00:20:58,958 --> 00:20:59,989 That was cool. 287 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:03,689 But it's like, then he gets all tired and he has to take a break. See? 288 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,629 Hey Butt-Head, 289 00:21:12,629 --> 00:21:14,939 have you ever, like, stuck your face on the xerox machine 290 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,401 and like, xeroxed your face? 291 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,235 Yeah. 292 00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,808 I xeroxed my butt once. 293 00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:24,706 Remember that time we enlarged your butt 294 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,812 like, 141%? 295 00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:30,983 Yeah. I think I'm gonna go back there and like, enlarge my wiener. 296 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,252 Yeah, yeah. 297 00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:36,718 Then you can like, make 100 copies and like, pass them out all over school. 298 00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,026 Ok. 298 00:21:42,305 --> 00:22:42,892 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today