1
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MOST WANTED

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Coming soon to a theater near you

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it's "Weekend at Bernie's Part 7".

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That's right, Bernie's still dead
and he's stiffer than ever.

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Cool.

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Yeah.

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We're back with a breaking story.

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Eyewitness Action News
has just learned

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that a deranged
serial killer

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has escaped from the county jail.

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- Cool.
- Yeah.

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Unfortunately, we only have
this crude sketch of the escaped killer.

13
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But it shouldn't be
too hard to identify

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since he has a jailhouse tattoo
of the word "killer" on his forehead.

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I wish all words
were that cool.

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Yeah. Me too.

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lf you should encounter this individual

18
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do not, repeat,

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do not attempt to bring him
into custody yourself.

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Contact the police immediately.

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This individual is
armed and dangerous.

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However if you're ignorant enough
to go after him yourself

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there is a $ 25,000 reward.

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Hey Beavis, l bet when we get
that reward money

25
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we can, like,
see that movie about stiffies

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and we can, like,
pay for our own tattoos.

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Yeah, yeah.

28
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Then we'll be cool.

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I'll get a tattoo
of a butt.

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I'll get a tattoo of a butt
on my butt.

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- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

32
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Well, I'll get a tattoo of a butt
that has a butt-shaped tattoo on it...

33
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and I'll get it right on my butt.

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That would be cool.

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Yeah, me too.

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Support us and become VIP member 
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37
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Well, there's a chick...

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She's singing...

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I think, like, a couple of minutes later
she is gonna shake her boobs.

40
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Yeah, yeah!

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We don't want to miss that.

42
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- Cool!
- Yes, yes!

43
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That part is pretty cool.

44
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I like chicks that
have their own room.

45
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She needs, like, some
posters and stuff.

46
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Yeah. As a barbed wire.

47
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Wire, wire, wire.

48
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Barbed wire? Why?

49
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I don't know. I have some barbed
wire in my room. It's pretty cool.

50
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,781
How come you have
barbed wire in your room?

51
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:13,420
Well, sometimes at night, there's like, these
foreigners that try to come in my room.

52
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What are you
talking about, Beavis?

53
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You know...

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I think they're trying
to, like, steal secrets.

55
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You're stupid, Beavis.

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Yeah, thanks.

57
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He knows a chick
who makes toast?

58
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- So what?
- Yeah.

59
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- I can make toast.
- Yeah, really.

60
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I think this is
college music.

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You can tell because that
dude has orange hair.

62
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Yeah.

63
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That part is pretty cool.

64
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Then it's like, you can
also tell it's college music

65
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because it's like,
they are in a field.

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Fields suck.

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How come he keeps singing
about these people he knows?

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- Who gives a rat's ass?
- Yeah, yeah.

69
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I know a guy!
His hair is orange!

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He sucks!

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Butt tattoos are cool.

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Yeah.

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Butt tattoos
kick ass.

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And ass tattoos
kick butt.

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Speaking of butts, Beavis...

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did you just
cut the cheese?

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Sounded like it
came from outside.

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What are you,
some kind of butt-ventriloquist?

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Yeah.

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That would be cool.

81
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Are you sure you didn't
cut the cheese?

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Shut up, Butt-Head.

83
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Maybe it was, like,
a wild animal with rabies.

84
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Yeah, yeah.

85
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Let's catch it.

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I always wanted
a pet with rabies.

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Hey Beavis,

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did you know
when you get rabies...

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the doctor gives you, like,
200 shots in the stomach

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with this really
long needle?

91
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It feels like this.

92
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Whoa.

93
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That knife is cool.

94
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Yeah.

95
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Do you use that for, like,
cutting and stuff?

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Yeah. Cutting people.

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- Whoa!
- Yeah.

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Hey Beavis...

99
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remember that thing we were watching
about that escaped killer dude?

100
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Yeah, yeah.

101
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I bet this guy is
tracking him down, too.

102
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If he sees him first,
he could get our reward money.

103
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- That would suck!
- Yeah.

104
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Are you, like, trying to
track down that escaped killer?

105
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'cause we need
the money.

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For tattoos.

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And we decided
to track him down first.

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Yeah.

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I wouldn't want to have to, you
know, kick your ass or anything.

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I'm tracking people
down too, man.

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But nobody on my list
is an escaped killer.

112
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See, l don't need money
for a tattoo...

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'cause I already have one.

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Check this out.

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You guys are not going to
get any chicks looking like this.

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Yes they will, dumbass.

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Didn't you know that, like,
all you have to do is be in a video

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and you automatically
get chicks?

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Oh yeah.
That's cool.

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It's like, all you gotta do
is go out and say:

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Hey baby...

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I'm, like, in a video...

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Wanna, you know...

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Hey, leave her alone.

125
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Leave her alone.

126
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Fartknocker!

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I'll kick your ass.

128
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These guys are, like,
a cross between...

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Danzig and Megadeth.

130
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I think they're like a cross
between Danzig and my butt.

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That wasn't very
nice, Butt-Head.

132
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Yeah it was. It was a compliment.

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My butt rules.

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Yeah.

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He said "number one".

136
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Eww, he stepped in it.

137
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Someobody has to clean it up.

138
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This video is all serious.

139
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Yeah, it seriously sucks.

140
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Hey Butt-Head.

141
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This sucks, huh?

142
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,812
It sure does, Beavis.

143
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These guys are
skinny wimps, too.

144
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:32,125
But they could
still kick Axl's ass.

145
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Whoa!

146
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- That was kinda cool.
- Where?

147
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I'm getting dizzy.

148
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Me too.

149
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I'm gonna vomit.

150
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Check out the bee.

151
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Shut up, Beavis.

152
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That monkey was cool.

153
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I'd like to spank it.

154
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,026
Hey Beavis...

155
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,223
- he wants someone to pull his finger.
- Yeah.

156
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,456
Now he's pointing
down there.

157
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,580
Whoa!

158
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:05,822
Cool.

159
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,688
It says: "KILER".

160
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,628
- Yeah, is that your name?
- "Kiler"?

161
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,926
"Kiler", I like that.

162
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,708
Good one, Kiler.

163
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,115
Yeah, yeah, that was cool.

164
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,014
You hear that?

165
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Hear what?

166
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,815
The voices. Voices are everywhere.

167
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They're calling me.

168
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They guide me.

169
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They command me.

170
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And forever I must obey!

171
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Yeah, voices are cool.

172
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I hear voices, too.

173
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They, like, tell me to do stuff,
like stay home from school...

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00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,834
and watch TV and, like, break stuff.

175
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And, like, just...

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Preach on,
Brother Beavis.

177
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Yeah, and sometimes the voices
tell me to do other stuff like...

178
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even cooler stuff.

179
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:11,055
Like, this voice said: "Beavis,
go get a gum wrapper

180
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,849
and, like, roll it up into a cone

181
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:15,155
and, like, stick it in the butt
of a big old horsefly".

182
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,293
And it's like, the fly
just flies straight up.

183
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,561
And it's like, it keeps going up,
and it can't come down

184
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'cause it can't fly anywhere else,
and, like, keeps going up

185
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,593
until it dies of exhaustion

186
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,495
and then it falls down.

187
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:29,499
Settle down, Beavis.

188
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,400
You're twisted, man!

189
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,409
Yours is twisted.

190
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,047
You twisted yours
when you were chocking it.

191
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,126
Yeah.

192
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,469
Yeah.

193
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,877
You know, l'm always
gonna remember you guys.

194
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:14,513
And now it's time for me to give you
boys something to remember me by.

195
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,380
Get moving!

196
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,524
- This may hurt a little.
- Yeah.

197
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:32,401
Let me get this straight.
You want a tattoo of a butt

198
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,537
which has a butt-shaped tattoo on it?

199
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:36,701
Yeah.

200
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,103
And I want it right on my butt.

201
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:43,673
Hey Butt-Head, how come
you're so interested in butts?

202
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,047
Shut up, Beavis.

203
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,411
Yeah.

204
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,396
Oh man!

205
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:03,959
What is this?

206
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:08,372
This guy really sucks.

207
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,972
And I'm not just saying that either.

208
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,213
Where's he going
with that magazine?

209
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,357
He's going into the bathroom...

210
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,085
and he's taking
those guys with him.

211
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,189
Yeah.

212
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:42,037
"Sing me a song,
you're the piano man".

213
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:52,749
Whoa!

214
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,348
That’s a pretty cool shirt.

215
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,218
Yeah, that guy is cool.

216
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,820
- Whoa, spit, spit! Cool!
- Yeah.

217
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,455
Whoa, look at the nads on that pig.

218
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,973
You know, I got
nads like that.

219
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,067
Really, you got pig nads?

220
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,402
Sort of.

221
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,587
Whoa, that concubine
is gonna run them over.

222
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,428
- Yes!
- No way, dumbass.

223
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,724
That's not really
running them over.

224
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,199
Yeah it is! Look!

225
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:43,992
No way, Beavis.

226
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,966
That is just, like, one of
those tricks, uh...

227
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,066
trick pornography... things.

228
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,243
No way, Butt-Head. They were
gone as soon as it left.

229
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:55,242
Beavis, if that thing killed him,
how come they're still singing?

230
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,910
I don't know.

231
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,979
Dumbass.

232
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,062
You know, like, with those monster
trucks and like, that pig and everything...

233
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,159
this video is turning
out to be pretty cool.

234
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,260
Yeah, yeah.

235
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,299
And don't forget about
the big nads.

236
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:20,463
I didn't forget, Beavis.

237
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,000
That's part
of the pig.

238
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,308
Oh yeah.

239
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,516
- Now we're cool.
- Yeah. Yeah.

240
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:41,558
We have a bizarre but
welcome update on a breaking story.

241
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,528
The serial killer who escaped yesterday
from the state penitentiary

242
00:17:45,529 --> 00:17:47,567
is now back behind bars

243
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,695
and authorities say
he turned himself in.

244
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,904
He claims voices have directed him
to a new calling.

245
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,566
A warden at the state penitentiary
described him as a new man

246
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,073
a model prisoner.

247
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:03,839
According to officials he says
he will now serve out his life sentence

248
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,399
administering tattoos to the derrières
of his fellow inmates.

249
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,756
These are tattoos of derrières

250
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,053
with derrière-shaped tattoos on them.

251
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,695
- In other news, the 5...
- Hey Butt-Head, what did that guy say?

252
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:20,796
I don't know.

253
00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,016
I wanna spit in their faces…

254
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,575
She's gonna spit on someone?

255
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,149
Yeah, yeah. Go for it.

256
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,586
That would be pretty cool.

257
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,123
Is that Dave Mustaine?

258
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:51,995
Yeah, yeah.

259
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,098
"I got a bowling ball
in my stomach...

260
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,730
I got a desert
in my mouth…".

261
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:01,264
That was pretty good, Beavis.

262
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,533
Yeah, thanks.

263
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,348
How many videos are they gonna make
with chicks in a bathtub?

264
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:20,417
At least if they showed
them naked it would be cool.

265
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:23,360
Yeah. How come they never
have chicks in showers?

266
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,059
Like in soap commercials.

267
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,398
Did you ever see that soap commercial
where that chick gets stabbed?

268
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,167
No, buttmunch...

269
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,203
that's that movie
about those guys in the woods.

270
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,602
They're not in the woods.
They're in the shower.

271
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,687
Is this, like, a commercial for VH1?

272
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,324
"The difference between
you and your parents".

273
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,421
Yeah.

274
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,396
That's stupid.

275
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,600
What's that
red thing?

276
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,200
I think it's
toilet paper.

277
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:10,904
Yeah.

278
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,001
It's toilet paper!

279
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,623
This sounds pretty cool
for Ugly Kid Joe.

280
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,354
Yeah, yeah.

281
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,563
Hey Butt-Head, I don't
think this is Ugly Kid Joe.

282
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,925
Well...

283
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:36,458
He's ugly...

284
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,138
I don't know,
I don't think he's that bad.

285
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,883
- This part of the song rules.
- Yeah, yeah.

286
00:20:58,958 --> 00:20:59,989
That was cool.

287
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:03,689
But it's like, then he gets all tired and
he has to take a break. See?

288
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,629
Hey Butt-Head,

289
00:21:12,629 --> 00:21:14,939
have you ever, like, stuck your
face on the xerox machine

290
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,401
and like, xeroxed your face?

291
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,235
Yeah.

292
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,808
I xeroxed my butt once.

293
00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:24,706
Remember that time
we enlarged your butt

294
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,812
like, 141%?

295
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:30,983
Yeah. I think I'm gonna go back
there and like, enlarge my wiener.

296
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,252
Yeah, yeah.

297
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:36,718
Then you can like, make 100 copies
and like, pass them out all over school.

298
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,026
Ok.

298
00:21:42,305 --> 00:22:42,892
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