1
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:11,979
A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS
WITH BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD

2
00:00:14,983 --> 00:00:17,653
I think it's, like, Christmas.

3
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,199
Really?
That's pretty cool.

4
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:26,888
It's cool 'cause you get
to sit around and watch TV.

5
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,244
That's what we did last year.

6
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,360
And the year before that too.

7
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,010
TV rules.

8
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,924
It's like, when something's
cool, why change?

9
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:53,074
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

10
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,589
Who could that be?

11
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:08,887
Whoa, it's Geraldo!

12
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:44,150
- Don't let Primus in.
- Yeah, yeah, they'll trash the place.

13
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,786
They'll break stuff.

14
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,668
"My name is Mud."

15
00:01:52,647 --> 00:01:56,250
My name is Mud!
Mud, Mud!

16
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,845
And then he'd spit.

17
00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,437
Check it out, Butt-Head.

18
00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:11,246
Testie the snowman,
had a carrot up his butt!

19
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,926
Right on, Beavis.

20
00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:16,370
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah.

21
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,318
Snow is cool.

22
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,280
I like to take snow

23
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,499
and like, roll it up into a ball
and shove it down your throat.

24
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,762
Shut up, butthole!

25
00:02:37,759 --> 00:02:39,989
Weren't these guys in Batman?

26
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,967
This isn't very cool.

27
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,081
Yeah but check this out,
this part is cool.

28
00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:56,035
Sounds pretty cool.

29
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,057
That was cool.

30
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,288
Who's this fartknocker?

31
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,076
What's wrong with him?

32
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,849
He should like,
go to the doctor, and say:

33
00:03:34,849 --> 00:03:38,063
"Doctor, I suck!
You've gotta help me!"

34
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,319
That would be cool.

35
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,247
It's that dude...

36
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,873
It's that Boy chick.

37
00:03:56,437 --> 00:04:00,374
- What a dork!
- Yeah, yeah... really.

38
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,732
Oh, I know what this is.

39
00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:12,827
This is one of those things where a
bunch of rich people get together

40
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:15,480
and ask for money.

41
00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:16,835
It's one of those things.

42
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,116
I don't think this is a video.

43
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:26,378
Really?
What is it?

44
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,892
I don't know.

45
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,637
This is too cool to
be a video.

46
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:42,922
I think it's one of those, uh, stool logs.

47
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,837
Stools are cool.

48
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:55,159
On, Dasher! On, Comet! On, Cupid!

49
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,638
Check it out.

50
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:18,333
- Wood.
- Yeah, yeah. Wood.

51
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,903
Log.

52
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,767
- Penis.
- What?

53
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:38,325
Penis. I was just, you
know, making conversation.

54
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,016
Oh yeah.

55
00:05:43,244 --> 00:05:44,553
Butt.

56
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,512
Wiener.

57
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,056
That was cool.

58
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:12,825
- Look at that guy.
- Yeah. Really.

59
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:16,570
- Is he wearing a mask?
- Yeah, his mask sucks.

60
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,214
What's this?

61
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:30,222
- This sucks!
- Come on Butt-Head, keep changing it.

62
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,376
What the hell is this garbage?

63
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,554
This sucks.

64
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:50,282
How come Christmas music
always sucks?

65
00:06:51,182 --> 00:06:53,313
Because it's, like, not very good.

66
00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:57,515
- Hey Beavis.
- What?

67
00:06:57,930 --> 00:06:59,594
What is Christmas?

68
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,362
It's the celebration of the
birth of our lord Jesus Christ.

69
00:07:03,878 --> 00:07:08,001
What? Hey Beavis,
what did you just say?

70
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:12,331
- What? I didn't say anything.
- Yeah you did!

71
00:07:12,526 --> 00:07:16,926
I asked you what Christmas was and you,
like, said a bunch of stuff really fast.

72
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:19,572
What are you talking about, Butt-Head?
I didn't say anything.

73
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,647
How come that they always play this
music that sucks around Christmas?

74
00:07:34,355 --> 00:07:37,254
'cause, buttmunch, it's Christmas music.

75
00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:40,394
So? Why do they have to
play it around Christmas?

76
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,630
Yeah, really.

77
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,304
It's like, you'd think they want to play
something cool at Christmas.

78
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,646
Yeah, yeah. Really.

79
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:55,543
But like, some of the Christmas
songs have pretty cool names...

80
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:59,699
like, that thing about
the "buttcracker".

81
00:08:00,281 --> 00:08:01,495
And Jingle Balls.

82
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:04,922
Deck the Balls.

83
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:29,737
What's this?
This is pretty cool.

84
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:38,182
- Who are these guys?
- They look kinda like turds!

85
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,307
Turds are cool.

86
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,167
If turds could talk,
what would they say?

87
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:02,943
They'd say: I don't like being a turd!
Being a turd sucks!

88
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,292
It's like, you gotta, like, try to
swim in the toilet,

89
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:06,711
and then you like, get flushed down,

90
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,449
and then you go through the pipes,
and then you go out to the ocean!

91
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,751
- And then there's like, sharks and stuff!
- Shut up Beavis!

92
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,587
Turds don't drown.
They float!

93
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,901
Those giraffes
are pretty cool.

94
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,259
I like the turds
better though.

95
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,567
Would you feel bad about
flushing a talking turd?

96
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:41,548
No way! I'd say:
"Drown, you fecal matter!"

97
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:58,894
- This song is pretty cool.
- Yeah, yeah, it sounds like Ozzy.

98
00:10:41,594 --> 00:10:43,057
That was cool.

99
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:52,098
Yes, yes, "Christmas in Hollis"!

100
00:10:53,621 --> 00:10:55,150
This is cool.

101
00:11:07,021 --> 00:11:08,680
These guys are cool.

102
00:11:10,845 --> 00:11:13,092
Hey Butt-Head,
where is Hollis?

103
00:11:15,569 --> 00:11:19,183
It's like, one of those places,
like Seattle, where stuff is cool.

104
00:11:20,593 --> 00:11:23,979
- Really?
- Yeah.

105
00:11:38,221 --> 00:11:42,121
- What's wrong with that elf?
- He be illin'.

106
00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:47,000
Check it out, Butt-Head:

107
00:11:47,245 --> 00:11:49,490
It's Christmas time
in Hollis, Queens.

108
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,845
Mom's cooking chicken
and collard greens.

109
00:11:51,869 --> 00:11:57,069
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and
cheese and tacos and nachos...

110
00:11:57,070 --> 00:12:00,889
Shut up Beavis, those
aren't the words.

111
00:12:01,493 --> 00:12:05,107
Sorry about that, I was like,
hungry or something.

112
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:13,871
Hey Butt-Head, how come rappers don't
wear these big gold chains anymore?

113
00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:19,263
You dumbass. That's 'cause these
guys are like, kicking it old school.

114
00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:25,781
- Kicking it, kick him, kick, kick! Kick!
- Cut it out Beavis. What are you doing?

115
00:12:26,493 --> 00:12:28,248
Oh yeah,
sorry man.

116
00:12:36,517 --> 00:12:38,897
Christmas would be cool,
if it was like this.

117
00:12:39,136 --> 00:12:41,045
Yeah, yeah,
This is cool.

118
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:46,341
- What's wrong with that guy?
- He's like, a munchkin.

119
00:12:48,465 --> 00:12:50,531
An assmunchkin.

120
00:12:54,221 --> 00:12:55,774
An assmunchkin!

121
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,525
I just, like, thought up a Christmas joke.

122
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,838
Check this out.

123
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,843
How come
Rudolph's nose is red?

124
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:21,382
- Why?
- 'cause it's bloody.

125
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,501
That was pretty funny.

126
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,765
I got one too.
Check it out.

127
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,318
How come
Santa's outfit is red?

128
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,803
Why?

129
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,015
'cause it's bloody.

130
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:45,926
- That is not funny, Beavis.
- Yeah it is!

131
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,859
See, it's like, it's-it's
bloody because, like,

132
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,930
Rudolph got
his nose on it

133
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,979
and Rudolph's nose is
red 'cause it was bloody.

134
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:57,131
- That's funny.
- Oh yeah.

135
00:14:01,642 --> 00:14:05,508
Coming up next... Beavis and Butt-Head
sharing a Christmas burrito!

136
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,705
Tell another one of those
Christmas jokes.

137
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:19,290
Here is one...

138
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,829
Santa Claus
has this big sack.

139
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,613
Look at this.

140
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:58,074
- Cool! He's singing on the toilet!
- Yeah. That's pretty cool.

141
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,995
Whoa, check out that skull!

142
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:17,406
That skull is cool. Is that, like,
the skull of Santa?

143
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,225
- Does that mean he's dead?
- Yeah, yeah.

144
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,394
I wonder what they did
with his other bones.

145
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,249
Really.

146
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:37,212
- Hey, this video sucks!
- Yeah, it's sickening.

147
00:15:43,577 --> 00:15:46,375
I think this is, like, a movie.

148
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,757
It sucks.

149
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:54,613
- I think it's pretty cool.
- Yeah, it is a pretty cool movie.

150
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,076
It's better than
most Christmas movies.

151
00:15:58,982 --> 00:16:01,230
Like that one, how was it called...

152
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,217
"The wonderful life".

153
00:16:03,597 --> 00:16:07,537
Oh yeah. That's that movie
where everything sucks.

154
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:13,772
Or how about that...
"The grunge that stole Christmas"?

155
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:15,861
That's pretty cool.

156
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,244
Yeah, except that at the
end he becomes a wuss.

157
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,933
Oh yeah, yeah,
That sucks.

158
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:25,885
You know that Christmas movie where
that dude, finds that, like, gold ticket

159
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:30,023
inside that piece of chocolate, and
then he like, goes to this big factory

160
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,148
where everything is really
cool, and there's

161
00:16:32,149 --> 00:16:34,231
little elves and they,
like, go on go on:

162
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:38,250
That was cool.

163
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,155
That ruled.

164
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,354
Then remember there was that
chick with her little dog, Scroto?

165
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:52,616
And then they like, go and they crush
that wicked bitch with their house.

166
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,316
And they got those
flying monkeys...

167
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:02,787
Then, like, that Willy Wanker dude,
asks to get back to his home planet...

168
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:06,975
Then Augustus Gloop dies
in that big bowl of chocolate.

169
00:17:09,353 --> 00:17:11,015
Chocolate is cool.

170
00:17:27,185 --> 00:17:29,351
This guy seems pretty cool.

171
00:17:46,785 --> 00:17:48,606
Look at his nose.

172
00:17:50,509 --> 00:17:54,137
I bet this guy could pick his nose
with his big toe.

173
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,652
Yeah, yeah. That's cool.
I do that sometimes.

174
00:17:59,057 --> 00:18:02,904
Oh yeah?
That's pretty cool.

175
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,228
- Hey Beavis.
- What?

176
00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:20,379
If you eat your own boogers, does that
make you, like, one of those cannibists?

177
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:26,556
Yeah, it makes you one of those,
one of those... cannilbulsists.

178
00:18:28,253 --> 00:18:30,693
How come boogers
don't, like, stink?

179
00:18:32,577 --> 00:18:37,359
I mean, it's like, they look ugly,
so it's like, you think they would stink.

180
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,690
Actually, I think
they look pretty cool.

181
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,285
Is this Sting?

182
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,801
No way, Beavis.
Sting sucks!

183
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,019
This guy's cool!

184
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:23,061
- This dude stutters!
- Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

185
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:32,707
Santa Claus looks like
one of those biker dudes!

186
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,237
Yeah, except he's got that
sled and that dorky outfit.

187
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,218
How does Santa Claus
get those reindeer to fly?

188
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,113
Because he beats the crap
out of them with a whip!

189
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,950
Maybe he's pretty cool.

190
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,254
This guy is pretty cool.

191
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,133
This guy is pretty cool.

192
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,978
That was co-co-co-co-co-cool!

193
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,866
How come Santa Claus
has that stupid laugh?

194
00:21:02,232 --> 00:21:04,552
Where he goes: ho-ho-ho!

195
00:21:04,592 --> 00:21:06,883
Yeah, yeah.
That's stupid.

196
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:11,792
That's really stupid.

197
00:21:11,891 --> 00:21:17,881
People don't go: ho-ho-ho.
I go: huh-huh-huh.

198
00:21:17,881 --> 00:21:21,881
They don't go: ho-ho-ho.
They go: heh-heh-heh-heh.

199
00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:33,562
Fight! Who is he talking
about fighting, Butt-Head?

200
00:21:35,856 --> 00:21:38,919
- That chick.
- Really? Whoa.

201
00:21:49,456 --> 00:21:52,988
Hey Butt-Head, how come
they're gonna fight? Fight, fight!

202
00:21:55,156 --> 00:21:58,055
Because it's like, he wants
her to give him something

203
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:01,012
'cause it's Christmas and everything.

204
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:06,464
- You mean like, video games or something?
- No, Beavis!

205
00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:23,518
Yes!
Fight! Fight! Fight!

206
00:22:25,556 --> 00:22:26,965
This is cool.

207
00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:39,152
- They're like, choking each other.
- Yeah, yeah, this is cool!

208
00:22:40,656 --> 00:22:45,586
Yes, hit him! Hit him! Hey, did you see
that Butt-Head? Did you see that?

209
00:22:48,113 --> 00:22:49,413
It was cool.

210
00:22:50,856 --> 00:22:53,488
Like, she hit him because
he didn't give her anything.

211
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,538
Christmas specials suck.

212
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,939
They always make those
dumb Christmas special.

213
00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:15,787
And then it gets like: We're running,
we're running, we're running!

214
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:21,194
I wonder if "Cops" is gonna do
a Christmas special.

215
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:25,631
"You have the right to remain
silent, and it'll be used against you!"

216
00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:29,401
"And we have the
right to kick your ass".

217
00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,237
Christmas is cool.

217
00:23:34,305 --> 00:24:34,358
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