1
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CANOE

2
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I'm really glad the
school psychiatrist

3
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required you three to
come on in this canoe trip.

4
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Here in the great outdoors we're
brothers and we help each other out.

5
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,918
You know, the Burgeoning
Men's movement holds

6
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that we spend too much
time fighting each other

7
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and not enough
time loving one another.

8
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Van Driessen is
looking for love.

9
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:35,060
- He wants you.
- He wants you.

10
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Nice stroke, Beavis.

11
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Told you, dude.

12
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He wants to love you.

13
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contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

14
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- That dude has lettuce on his head.
- His head is lettuce.

15
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Let-us spray.
Ssssspray.

16
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Cut it out,
Beavis!

17
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- What are you doing?
- I'm spraying.

18
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That's pretty cool.

19
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- When did you start doing that?
- Just now.

20
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Boy, this really sucks!

21
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- Oh my God!
- Oh, dear Lord!

22
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This sucks!

23
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Good God Almighty!

24
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This sucks more than
anything I've ever seen.

25
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This sucks, like, like,
lots and lots!

26
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Let me count the ways
in which this sucks.

27
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One...

28
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Two...

29
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Four...

30
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Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

31
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Thirteen...

32
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Seven...

33
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Oh wait a minute,
we already counted that one.

34
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Yeah, but if it happened again,
that means it sucks again.

35
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Eleventeen...

36
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What comes after
eleventeen?

37
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,184
- Thirteen.
- Oh, yeah.

38
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Fifteen. Hit him! Hit him!
Hit him! Pull his hair!

39
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,621
Cool.

40
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,792
Maybe we should like, take some
points off 'cause that was pretty cool.

41
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,398
No way, Beavis!

42
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Just 'cause something's cool doesn't
mean that something else doesn't suck.

43
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What?

44
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,721
I said: just because
something's cool

45
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doesn't mean that something
else doesn't suck!

46
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What?

47
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,948
Nevermind,
buttmunch.

48
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Hey Butt-Head,
why are we watching this?

49
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,259
I don't know.

50
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,033
This is still
on?

51
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:02,275
- That pisses me off!
- Yeah, that sucks.

52
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,576
It's bad enough when, like, stuff sucks...

53
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,612
but then when it's like,
really long, that sucks.

54
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:27,990
Guys, I hope our little incident today
shows why we never wrestle in canoes.

55
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,002
Luckily, and not coincidentally,

56
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all the important gear
was in my canoe.

57
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Where's the toilet paper?

58
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:40,045
Well, that's the only thing
we put in your canoe.

59
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:43,977
Fortunately Beavis, nature
has its own toilet paper,

60
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- the humble leaf.
- You wiping with foliage, dude.

61
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I gotta go too.

62
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Now remember, Beavis: bury at least
200 yards from the campsite

63
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away from our water and food.

64
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:10,173
Okay, Stew, let's
pitch a tent.

65
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Grab this pole, Stewart.

66
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:24,284
Stick it in the hole, Stewart!
In the hole!

67
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,086
Stewart is the teacher's pet.

68
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Yeah.

69
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,730
Ok boys, let's erect this thing!

70
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:55,045
Stay tuned to see Beavis and
Butt-Head totally nude. Maybe.

71
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:07,398
It's a good thing you went far from
the campsite, because that

72
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,267
is the biggest poison ivy
patch I've ever seen.

73
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:15,608
And human spores would lure bears
to the campsite, and we can't have that.

74
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,389
Okay guys,
now it's time for the time-honored

75
00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:23,009
camping tradition:
the sing along.

76
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- That's stupid!
- What do you mean, Beavis?

77
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Where are you gonna plug it in?

78
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- That's stupid!
- Boys, you're in for a treat.

79
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Acoustic music,
"unplugged".

80
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After all, folk music began
with woodland minstrels.

81
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,805
- What's he talking about?
- Flashback.

82
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,875
This is a song I wrote
especially for this occasion.

83
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,746
It's called "Men".

84
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Men have feelings too.

85
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,287
May I share mine with you?

86
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,458
I may softly weep or cry out loud.

87
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,865
But either way
I'll still be proud.

88
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,200
- This sucks!.
- Yeah.

89
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,421
This kicks ass!

90
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,189
And I'm not just saying that, either.

91
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:46,932
Lemmy rules!

92
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:02,738
Hey Beavis...
check this out.

93
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,650
I can do that too.

94
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,356
- That was cool.
- I do it better though.

95
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,864
Do you know who
Lemmy looks like?

96
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:31,474
He looks like that dude down the street
that's always working on his car.

97
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:34,403
That guy that parks his
car in the front lawn?

98
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:38,611
Yeah. That guy is cool.

99
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,393
How come Lemmy has those two
big Coco Pops stuck to his cheek?

100
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:53,393
- Because it looks cool.
- Oh yeah. I forgot.

101
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,595
Fartknocker.

102
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:15,881
The inner child cries
from deep within

103
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- nurture me, brother, with both hands...
- This is the worst song I've ever heard.

104
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,960
Yeah. This sucks.

105
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,304
- Whoa!
- Cool.

106
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,537
What Butt-Head?
What?

107
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:19,016
- Come on Butt-Head, what?
- Tweeter.

108
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,518
Oh yeah.

109
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,121
- Change it, Butt-Head.
- No way Beavis.

110
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- Something cool is gonna happen.
- Oh really? Ok.

111
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- So like, so like, what happens that's cool?
- You'll see.

112
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Come on Butt-Head, tell me.
Come on, what is it?

113
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:43,637
Dammit, Beavis!

114
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,978
I have ever told you something cool is
gonna happen in a video and it doesn't?

115
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,841
Yeah, you do it all the time, buttknocker!

116
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,950
- You mean "fartknocker", Beavis.
- Oh yeah, yeah.

117
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:03,685
Ok. So like, so like,
what happens?

118
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,997
It's, like,
a surprise.

119
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:13,333
Yeah but it's like, if you tell me now
then it's like, I'll be surprised right now.

120
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Here it comes. Here
comes the cool part.

121
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Yes! Kick it!
Kick it! Kick it!

122
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So come on Butt-Head,
what's the cool part?

122
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