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MEET GOD

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And now back to the late late movie:
"Screwing Total Strangers".

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We are in the middle of
nowhere, with no money.

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How are we gonna meet girls?

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Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

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Hey boys, how'd you like
to come over to my place

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for a pointless coming of age
sexual experience?

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All right!

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Hitchhiking is cool.

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That gives me an idea.

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- What?
- Let's hitchhike.

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Is that the Great Pumpkin?

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What's the Great
Pumpkin from again?

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It's from that Charlie Brown thing.
That show about that bald kid.

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It's that kid with the blanket
that believes in the Great Pumpkin.

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That's... Penis?

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His name's not
"Penis". It's "Anus".

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Yeah, Anus.

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You're getting him mixed up with that dude
Choder who plays the piano. He's a penis.

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Shut up, Butt-Head!
That's not cool to call someone

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a "penis" just because
they play the piano.

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No, Beavis, that's what you call someone
who plays the piano. You call them a penis.

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Really?
That's cool.

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You know what we should do? We should
go to that piano store in the mall

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and just start saying
"Penis! Penis! Penis!"

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That's a good idea, Beavis.

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So, like, like, what happens
with that Great Pumpkin?

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Like, what's he supposed to do?

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He, like comes out of the pumpkin
patch at night, and he...

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You can see up
that chick's dress!

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So, anyways...

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what was I talking about?

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You were talking about
seeing up that chick's dress.

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Hey Butt-Head, this
isn't working.

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Are you using your thumb?

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I think there's needs
to be like, cars and stuff.

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- Hey, here comes someone!
- Cool!

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Welcome, brothers.

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- You're lucky we found you.
- We are?

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Yes, for you have found God.
Would you like to meet him now?

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- Who?
- God.

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You know, like, the main
reason that this video sucks?

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It is, like, it reminds me
of other stuff that sucks.

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Really.

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Is this, like,
"Jeopardy"?

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I'll take "Stuff That Sucks"
for 500, Alex.

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What is John Cougar Mellencamp?

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You're supposed to form your question
in the phrase of an answer.

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You are now "discolorfied".

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It's that dude who
likes all those prostitutes!

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Check this out, Beavis.

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"I have sinned against you!"

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That was cool.

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Is this CNN?

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How come they never show
reruns on the news?

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They do.
That's why it sucks.

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Every time you see something,
it's already happened.

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That would be cool if, like,
there was an explosion...

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and they would tell you where it's gonna
happen so you could go check it out.

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That would be great.

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Here's the Lord, thy God.
You can call him Hank.

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Our Lord? Lord?
Lord!

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Lord, lord, here are brothers
Beavis and Butt-Head.

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- Yeah. Right.
- You doubt Him?

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Like, if you're God, then what's the
name of that guy who built that ark?

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Noah!

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This sucks!

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It's like, it sucks.

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This is horrible!

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And it sucks too.

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Beavis, "sucks" isn't even
strong enough word

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to describe this crap.

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It's like, it's like it sucks… a lot!

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Cool! This sounds
pretty cool.

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It kicks butt!

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Hey, check out the skull.

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That's not a skull, Beavis.
That's just like, a really ugly dude.

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This kicks ass!

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I wish, like, in school, they would teach
something practical, like, heavy metal.

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They should have,
like, "Heavy Metal Choir".

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This is cool!

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This video has cool
looking stuff in it.

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Even though it's not on
the screen long enough

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to see what it is,
you can still tell it's cool.

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- You know what makes this band cool?
- Yeah! I mean, what?

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They have two dudes who are good screamers,
and they like, take turns screaming.

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Screaming is cool.

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And Moses said to Pharaoh...

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"Let my people go, let's
fire rain on Egypt!"

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And Nefertite said...

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"Moses, Moses can you not feel
my breast? Aren't they not full"?

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- He is good.
- He is God!

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And Charlton Heston did say: "Let me,
Ben-Hur, ride the chariot!"

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And Tony Curtis did say:
"I am Spartacus!"

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Welcome to my breakdown
I hope I didn't scare you.

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You dont scare me.

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I'm scared.

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Hey Butt-Head, doesn't
Slash wear a hat like that?

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But he doesn't wear
all that clown makeup.

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This is awful!

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This is old!

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Hey Butt-Head,
does this suck?

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Well...

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They're playing in the sewer.
That's pretty cool.

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Maybe they show
some fecal matter.

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What's that?

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It's a word that
means, like, turds.

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I learned it when I did
my report on feces.

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Oh yeah.
I remembered now.

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So where were the spiders?

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This song is about, like, spiders.

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They should have some
spiders in this video.

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- Like some tarantulas would be cool.
- Yeah. And some daddy long legs.

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Cool!

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He's in a body bag.

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- He was injured stage diving.
- Stage diving is cool!

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Here is your new home.

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What?
Hey, where's the TV?

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- TV is the devil's tool.
- Yeah. Where is it?

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You don't need it anymore.
Good night, brothers.

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Let's beat it.

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Yeah.
This sucks!

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We gotta find a TV, dude.

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Hey, I hear something.

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Check it out!

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I want my mounds!

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- I can see her whole butt!
- How about her butthole?

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That's cool.

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She's got a small,
furry animal in her mouth.

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That's cool.

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This chick was married to that dude who
would punch you if you took his picture.

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That... Woody Allen dude?

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No, assmunch! Woody Allen's the
dude that went out with his daughter.

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Hey Butt-Head. If you were,
like, a chick

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- would you go out with your stepdad?
- Not if his name was Woody.

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What if his name was Stiffy?

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Well, maybe.

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Stiffy Allen.

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Stiffy Allen.
Woodrow Allen.

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That was cool.

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She's almost naked!

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That gives me a special
feeling on my Woody Allen.

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Look at her thingies!

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I like when they push
together really close.

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That's pretty cool.

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Check it out dude.
She's filthy!

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Hey Hank, so like, why did
you create this?

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- It's a little over your head.
- Yeah. Like, all over.

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Sorry we can't stay
and worship you.

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- Gotta go.
- So let it be written, so let it be done.

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What ever.

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"Moses, Moses let's see your
people make bricks without straw!

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Bricks without straw?"

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Here comes someone.

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Hitchhiking is cool.

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Is this Wilson Phillips?

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Yeah. This is back when
they were cool.

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I'm your Beavis!

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Hey Beavis, what rhymes
with "Venus"?

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Venus Flytrap.

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- These chicks should marry GWAR.
- Yeah, yeah! That would be cool!

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They would have offspring that would be
the coolest people that have ever lived.

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- And they would rule Antarctica.
- They would rule the entire world!

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Satan's got back!

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