1
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CITIZEN BUTT-HEAD

2
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Today, President Clinton will visit our
very own Highland High School.

3
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We'll be holding a town meeting called
"Youth: The Next Generation".

4
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That guy is really fat!

5
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Yeah.

6
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The President will answer spontaneous
questions from students picked at random.

7
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He said "picked"!

8
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Are the hand-picked honor students
rehearsing their questions?

9
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- Yes sir.
- Is security in place?

10
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- Check.
- Now, what about B-Beavis and Butt-Head?

11
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Maybe they won't come to school today.

12
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You idiot! It's taco day in the
cafeteria! They'll be here!

13
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Now look, the future of
Highland High is at stake,

14
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not to mention my personal career.

15
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B-Beavis and Butt-Head
must not be allowed

16
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,301
within three miles
of the President!

17
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- Maybe we could just kill them.
- That would be cool!

18
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Yeah.

19
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Tempting, but I've
got a better idea.

20
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Yeah, boy.

21
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- Yes.
- Yeah.

22
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- I feel a groove coming on.
- Yeah.

23
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- Let's rock!
- Yeah, rock!

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Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

25
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- This is cool!
- Yeah, this is cool!

26
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These three words mean you're gettin' busy:
Whoomp, there it is! Hit me!

27
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Whoomp!
There's my butt!

28
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Yeah, yeah.

29
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Whoomp! There it is!

30
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- Whoomp, there's my butt!
- Whoomp, there it is!

31
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Whoomp! There it is!
There it is!

32
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- Whoomp! There it is!
- Whoomp, there's my but!

33
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Whoomp!
There's my butt!

34
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I'm takin' it back to the old school
'cause I'm an old fool...

35
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- He's kicking it old school.
- Yeah, yeah, he's kicking it! Kicking it!

36
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Kicking! Kick!

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Whoomp!
There's my butt!

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Whoomp!
There's my butt!

39
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This would be a good video to,
like, learn to read with.

40
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'cause, like, they're saying "Whoomp" and
then, like, it says "Whoomp" on the screen.

41
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Yeah, yeah.

42
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Yeah, it's like, it's like,
the word comes out on the screen,

43
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and I'm thinking: "what did that
word say, what did it say,

44
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and then this other guy says: "Whoomp!"

45
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There it is. There it is.
Whoomp, there it is.

46
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Boys, take the day off.

47
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This pass will allow
you to stay off campus.

48
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Way off campus, for the
next twenty-four hours.

49
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You can go anywhere,
do anything.

50
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- But today is taco day!
- Here's fifty bucks.

51
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Go down to "El House
of Tacos" and stuff yourself!

52
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He said "stuff".

53
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And I'll say it again, if you
don't get out of here!

54
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Cool.

55
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:39,046
- We can go anywhere and do anything.
- Yeah.

56
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It's cool to, like,
try to think of stuff.

57
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Yeah.

58
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This pass is cool.

59
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,797
This proves that we're
cooler than other people.

60
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Yeah.

61
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:05,204
People would be jealous if they knew
we had it. Let's go show everyone.

62
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Excited about meeting
the President, sir?

63
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,726
- Maybe we should've killed those two.
- Don't worry.

64
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You gave them fifty bucks
and a pass, I'm sure

65
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Beavis and Butt-Head are
already miles from here.

66
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Principal McDicker gave us
this pass 'cause we're so cool.

67
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Yeah.

68
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- You guys don't get one.
- Bite me!

69
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You guys can touch it
for a quarter.

70
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He means the pass.

71
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That was cool.

72
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We don't have to eat your
stinking tacos, we got money.

73
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I just ate one.

74
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That chick seems, like, you know, like,
like, she'd be pretty friendly, you know?

75
00:05:09,571 --> 00:05:10,110
Yeah.

76
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Like, you could just walk up to her and say
"Hey, m-my name is Beavis, how's it going?"

77
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Maybe you'd like to,
you know, maybe we,

78
00:05:17,272 --> 00:05:19,202
like, we could go,
you know, we could...

79
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This seems pretty cool.

80
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Yeah, yeah.

81
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,822
That chick seems like,
like, she's pretty cool.

82
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This seems like a
pretty cool place to live.

83
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Yeah, yeah, and that chick is pretty
cool too. She's like, you know...

84
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She's, like, pretty... cool.

85
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Cool, a toilet!

86
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Yeah.

87
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I did that this morning.
I always do that.

88
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I scrub myself off in the toilet.

89
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- You take a dump first?
- Yeah, yeah.

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Whoa.

91
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Snotty people.

92
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Check it out, he's
eating in a tub!

93
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Yeah.

94
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Looks like he is... going
to the bathroom in the tub too.

95
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Yeah.

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That's pretty cool.

97
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- This chick seems, you know, pretty nice.
- Shut up Butt-Head! I saw her first!

98
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Hey baby, how it's going?

99
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Shut up, Beavis!
She was looking at me the whole time!

100
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Oh yeah!

101
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- Freeze!
- Whoa! Cool!

102
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Look, it's McGyver!

103
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Do you know how to pick locks?

104
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- Where you boys think you're going?
- We got a pass, asswipe!

105
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Then you should be over there with
the hand-picked students, bunghole!

106
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Beavis and Butt-Head?

107
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- Hey! It's Diarrhea!
- Yeah.

108
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They picked you guys to meet
the President?

109
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The President of the United States?

110
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The guy who runs the country?
Who is here

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right now to talk us
on national television?

112
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- We got a pass.
- Yeah.

113
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One last thing: they're
probably miles from here

114
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but if you see these
two guys, they're not students!

115
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They are armed an dangerous psychopaths,
who wanna harm the President.

116
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- Take them out!
- They're on campus, sir.

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- What?
- With the honor students.

118
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- The honor students?
- They had a pass.

119
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Mrs. Tress...

120
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bring me a new pair of pants!

121
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Cool.

122
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Yeah, yeah.

123
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When I'll get my own pad,
it's gonna look just like this.

124
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Yeah but there is only one bed.
Where am I gonna sleep?

125
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You're not gonna sleep
at my house, dillhole!

126
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Oh yeah.

127
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This guy is cool!

128
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Yeah, yeah.

129
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How do those guys, like,
move all jerky like that?

130
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They can do that because they're cool.

131
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Oh yeah.

132
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- Cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

133
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- Whoa.
- Yeah.

134
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If I could move my arm that
fast, I'd never leave the house.

135
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Yeah.

136
00:10:10,246 --> 00:10:11,480
Yeah, yeah.

137
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Yeah.

138
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Hey Beavis, you know
how this band is called?

139
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Tool.

140
00:10:29,618 --> 00:10:31,810
Yeah, tool.

141
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Whoa.

142
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Cool.

143
00:10:41,963 --> 00:10:43,027
Yeah, yeah.

144
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,438
Are those feces?

145
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,838
No, asswipe!
That's meat!

146
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Oh yes.

147
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That's cool.

148
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"Are you for or against
japanese trade restrictions?"

149
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:19,267
"What are you prepared to do about
sexual harassment in a work..."

150
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,557
"Given the budget
deficit, do you think the

151
00:11:21,558 --> 00:11:24,030
supercollider is really
necessary at this time?"

152
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- Pull my finger.
- No.

153
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,443
- Come on Beavis, pull it!
- No way.

154
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,415
Hi, I'm Tabatha Soren.

155
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That doesn't count!
You pulled your own finger.

156
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,823
I pulled my own finger.

157
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,044
And welcome to "Youth:
The Next generation",

158
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a student forum with
President Clinton.

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Your questions, his answers,
our future!

160
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That chick's only fourteen!

161
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And now, the President
of the United States, Bill Clinton!

162
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Grab him! Grab him!

163
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That's it, get him!
Get him!

164
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,731
Whoa! It's McDicker!
Cool!

165
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- Beat the crap out of him!
- Use the choke hold!  Use the choke hold!

166
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,735
Kick him! Kick him!
Kick him! Kick him!

167
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,633
Choke! Choke!

168
00:12:25,249 --> 00:12:26,342
Yeah.

169
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,442
Choke hold!

170
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,840
- Score 1 for the secret cervix!
- Yeah.

171
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That was cool.

172
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The colors are all messed up.
Turn up the color, Beavis.

173
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That's not the color, the tint's messed up.
You gotta turn up the tint knob.

174
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:54,535
- The taint knob?
- No, Butt-Head! The tint! The tint knob!

175
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:14,583
- Hey, this guy looks like Jim Rockford.
- Yeah.

176
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,029
- That was pretty cool, Beavis.
- Yeah.

177
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:40,014
- This is cool!
- Yeah, it rocks!

178
00:13:40,038 --> 00:13:42,054
Yeah.

179
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:46,054
- And he's pissed off.
- Yeah, yeah, I like anger.

180
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,518
I like when guys
get pissed off in videos.

181
00:13:57,651 --> 00:13:58,691
Whoa.

182
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:00,968
Check out his neck!

183
00:14:00,969 --> 00:14:01,969
Yeah.

184
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:06,707
There's, like, all these bones
and "vestigeses" moving around.

185
00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:07,678
Yeah.

186
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,375
His neck kicks ass!

187
00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:10,498
Yeah.

188
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,032
I bet he gets all the chicks
because his neck is cool.

189
00:14:14,057 --> 00:14:15,105
Yeah.

190
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,515
Hello, my fellow
young Americans.

191
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:51,422
You know, I've always been interested in
young people. Hell, I even made one!

192
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,030
He did it with that
chick on the magazine cover.

193
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,232
I could stand up here
and talk on and on

194
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,999
like some boll weevil sitting
on a stomp bragging to a dog in heat

195
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,872
but I'd like to hear
what you have to say.

196
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:11,268
Mr. President, in
your campaign

197
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:14,405
you promised to help every young
person to get a college education.

198
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,079
Did you mean that

199
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,712
- or were you just jerking us around?
- Daria is cool.

200
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:23,586
I meant it. College is
crucial for three reasons.

201
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,118
First: our economy.

202
00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:26,592
Secondly, the security
of future generations...

203
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,462
Hey Beavis, that microphone
makes your voice real loud.

204
00:15:29,487 --> 00:15:30,543
Yeah.

205
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,293
Loud! Loud!
Let's try.

206
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,026
Butt-Head!

207
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:38,536
Whoa!

208
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,534
"It's 10 pm, do you
know where your wiener is?"

209
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:45,135
This is cool.

210
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:49,642
You said "pm".
Attention, K-mart shoppers.

211
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:53,349
There's a blue light special
on the jock strap department.

212
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:55,982
I love that joke.

213
00:15:56,022 --> 00:16:00,892
Testies... Testies...
One... Two... Three...

214
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,955
Testies... Testies...

215
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,655
One... Two... Three...

216
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,804
- Whoa! Those guys are pissed!
- Yeah.

217
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,073
Did you boys have a question?

218
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:27,780
Since you're, like, the President, and
in charge of the army and stuff...

219
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,686
could you, like, invade some
country and set it on fire?

220
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:33,626
Yeah.

221
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:34,686
Yeah.

222
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:39,194
And then you could, like, fly over the
country in a chopper with a loud speaker

223
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:43,858
and you could yell: "I am the
President of the United States

224
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:48,534
the most powerful nation on Earth.
And you must bow down and kiss my butt!"

225
00:16:48,558 --> 00:16:49,608
Yeah.

226
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,340
The streets will flow with the
blood of the nonbelievers!

227
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:57,974
Forgiv-Forgive them, Mr. President,
Beavis and Butt-Head are emotionally

228
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,668
you know... special.

229
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,745
Yeah.
We got a pass.

230
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:08,158
Well, you know, I'm happier than a
pig in slop at the opportunities

231
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,460
Highland High offers
the hormonally challenged.

232
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:15,127
- A key issue of my campaign.
- Back off, you fat pig!

233
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,768
Well, you boys must really like it here.

234
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,368
Well, last year in
Ms. Dickey's class...

235
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,798
I pitched a tent!

236
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,540
- She must be very proud.
- Cooties! Quits!

237
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,384
Because of your ability

238
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:34,250
- to surmount all obstacles...
- He said "mount".

239
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,257
... I proclame you,
Beavis and Bum-Head...

240
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:40,123
- It's Butt-Head!
- America's students of the year.

241
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,934
- That band sucks!
- Yeah.

242
00:17:58,296 --> 00:17:59,358
Whoa.

243
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,794
This isn't very good.

244
00:18:02,795 --> 00:18:06,003
Yeah, yeah, it needs
to, like, be more cool.

245
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,482
Hey, it's that Luka chick.

246
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:13,255
Yeah, yeah.

247
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,049
The one from the second floor.

248
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,297
Blood, blood?
She said "blood"!

249
00:18:25,289 --> 00:18:26,320
Yeah.

250
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,696
It wasn't very cool tho.

251
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:35,614
She went on one of those places in the
mall where you make your own video.

252
00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:37,726
Yeah, yeah.

253
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,713
I'm gonna go to one of those.

254
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,678
It's gonna be cool.

255
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:43,819
Oh yeah?

256
00:18:48,095 --> 00:18:49,105
Whoa.

257
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:52,226
That's that shiny dude from
that Janet Jackson video!

258
00:18:52,408 --> 00:18:53,519
Yeah.

259
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,701
When Janet finds
out he's messing around

260
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,193
with Luka,
she's gonna kick his ass.

261
00:18:58,217 --> 00:18:59,254
Yeah.

262
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:01,833
That dude gets all the chicks.

263
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,443
- Those guys are cool.
- Yeah.

264
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:15,181
Too bad the President got
your name wrong, Bum-Head!

265
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,517
- Shut up!
- Now people will make fun of your name.

266
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,686
Shut up!
Beav... Beavbut...

267
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,359
Dumb... Beavis.

268
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:30,563
Well, I hope you boys learned something
from my little visit with the President.

269
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,264
- Yeah. We learned a lot.
- Yeah.

270
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:38,009
Like, if you don't have a pass
you get the crap beat out of you.

271
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,701
But if you do have a pass

272
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,280
the President of the
United States will kiss your butt!

273
00:19:44,304 --> 00:19:45,308
Yeah.

274
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:57,598
Yeah.

275
00:20:04,611 --> 00:20:05,792
Yes!

276
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,424
Yes! Yes!

277
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,103
These guys rule!

278
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,223
Yeah, yeah!

279
00:20:18,311 --> 00:20:20,552
Got no huggin', no kissin'!

280
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,609
Yeah.

281
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,146
- That part is pretty cool.
- Yeah.

282
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,662
That lead singer?

283
00:20:38,895 --> 00:20:39,983
Yeah.

284
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:44,172
He's cool.
He looks like my cousin.

285
00:20:44,196 --> 00:20:45,243
Oh yeah.

286
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:46,945
Which one?

287
00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:49,871
You know... Richard Head.

288
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,086
This guy's teeth are cool.

289
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:02,029
Yeah.

290
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,191
It runs in the family.

291
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:06,990
We all have cool teeth.

292
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,041
This guy is cool.

293
00:21:20,065 --> 00:21:21,120
Yeah, yeah.

294
00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:23,312
He's cool.

294
00:21:24,305 --> 00:22:24,460
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