1
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SPORTING GOODS

2
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:14,211
Hey Dia... Daria?
Where did you get the camera?

3
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,940
Yeah. You look like one
of those "pappanazis".

4
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,950
My parents made me join
the school paper.

5
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:24,315
The paper made me fashion
reporter because I'm a girl.

6
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:28,217
I hate fashion! There
is no fashion in this town.

7
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,524
I wanna be an inquiring photographer.

8
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,164
Yeah, yeah. Then you can take
pictures in the girls' locker room.

9
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,061
Yeah.

10
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:40,271
An inquire about how they'd like
to please big daddy Butt-Head.

11
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:43,837
God, you're gross.

12
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,144
Hey why did you do that?

13
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:49,038
You never know "National
Geographic" may call.

14
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,885
She thinks we're cool.

15
00:00:54,994 --> 00:00:56,198
Yeah.

16
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,954
She's right.

17
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:04,756
Is this VH-1?

18
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:10,101
Shut up, dillhole! This
isn't VH-1, this is the Chili Peppers!

19
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,942
This isn't the Chilli Peppers,
this is like all wimpy and stuff.

20
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Shut up, Beavis!
This is cool.

21
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,120
This is cool?

22
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:33,324
Sometimes cool bands have to do like
really wimpy songs so they can get chicks.

23
00:01:33,339 --> 00:01:34,623
Oh yeah, yeah.

24
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

25
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Sometimes chicks like it when
you get, like, all sensitive and stuff.

26
00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,486
How come you, like, know so much about
chicks but then you never get any chicks.

27
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,923
Well, I wasn’t born at a barn,
but I can choke my chicken.

28
00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:07,010
Oh yeah.

29
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:11,089
Some things just come natural.

30
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,995
It's, like, taking a dump
just comes natural.

31
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,632
But you have to learn
how to take a dump in a toilet.

32
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:22,733
- Yeah. I'm gonna learn how to do that.
- That would be cool.

33
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,978
Yes! Yes!

34
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:41,154
Flea, Flea, Flea, Flea, Flea.

35
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Go for it, Flea!

36
00:02:43,251 --> 00:02:44,433
Yeah, yeah.

37
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,126
This is cool!

38
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,324
Yeah!

39
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,835
- Cool.
- Good catch, Butt-Head!

40
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,837
Thanks.

41
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,738
I believe you're ready
for the Loser Olympics!

42
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,900
Will I get to miss any school?

43
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:37,106
- Now you, Beavis! Are you ready?
- Ready "mein kapitan"!

44
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:40,261
Yeah.

45
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:48,657
Do I take it, Beavis, that you are
participating in physical education today

46
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,628
without groinal protection
of any kind?

47
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:57,499
Are you not aware, Beavis, that
a regulation designed athletic supporter

48
00:03:57,499 --> 00:03:59,693
is a requirement in this course

49
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:03,074
even for such an obvious
raisins sack as yourself?

50
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,974
Busted!

51
00:04:07,561 --> 00:04:08,580
Yeah.

52
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:13,452
What about you, Butt-Head? Are you in
possession of a regulation supporter?

53
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:17,720
- Of course
- Are you prepared to present it for inspection?

54
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:23,529
I can't. Someone,
like, stole it from my locker.

55
00:04:24,987 --> 00:04:26,006
Yeah.

56
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,595
They sold it to buy drugs.

57
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,433
I see.
Now, hear this, people,

58
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,367
tomorrow, when you
report back to this facility

59
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:37,809
for another tragic comic attempt
at physical education

60
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,139
you will be wearing
supporters

61
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:45,151
or you will be assign to my remedial
squat thrust seminar this summer!

62
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,216
Do I made myself clear?

63
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,850
- He said...
- Do I made myself clear?

64
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,823
Buddy's cool.

65
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,659
Yeah. He's cool.

66
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,695
He did time.

67
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,107
Hey guys, what
I can do you for?

68
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,106
We want...

69
00:05:20,368 --> 00:05:21,386
Yeah.

70
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:26,585
Rollerblades?
Megacarb powdered bulk up formula?

71
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:28,409
No.

72
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,189
Free weights? Batting cage?
Zamboni?

73
00:05:31,216 --> 00:05:32,226
No.

74
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,496
Crampons?

75
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,700
Wouldn't it be athletic
supporters, by any chance? Would it?

76
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:49,209
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.
- Okay, what size, fellas?

77
00:05:53,820 --> 00:06:00,289
- No, waist size. S, M or L?
- What are those stand for?

78
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:05,159
Now let's see, you guys
look like a pair of S's...

79
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,000
Yeah.
That's what McVicker says.

80
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,270
Lets see...

81
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:13,701
Yeah, try 'em on over your pants,
or I can't sell 'em to anyone else.

82
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,267
- The dressing rooms are over there.
- Cool.

83
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,015
- Hey, watch it!
- Cut it out!

84
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Most people prefer to use a dressing
room one at a time, but what the heck.

85
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,522
Out of my way, dillweed!

86
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,799
Hey, these are too big.

87
00:06:41,823 --> 00:06:42,960
Yeah.

88
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,996
You must have us mixed
up with due other guys.

89
00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:47,383
Yeah.

90
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,805
I'm no Don Johnson, you know?

91
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,642
Well guys, it's the
smallest size I have.

92
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:56,644
Wait a minute...

93
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,665
We got these eye patches
for racket ball injuries

94
00:07:00,666 --> 00:07:02,853
but they've been
sitting here for years.

95
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:06,756
- Try 'em on, you can have them at no charge.
- Cool.

96
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,263
I can't get this over my
pants, dude, it's too tight.

97
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,767
Just take them off, dillweed.
He said you could keep it anyway.

98
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,505
Hi. Can I help you?

99
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,482
I have some questions
about active wear.

100
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,313
Cool.
Snug nads.

101
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,517
The family jewels
are secured.

102
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,294
How do we look?

103
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,929
Whoa! Even smaller than I thought!

104
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,004
That's that song from
that show about

105
00:08:10,005 --> 00:08:12,376
that belly dancer that
lives in that bottle.

106
00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:13,460
Yeah.

107
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,956
- And she lives with that cop.
- Yeah.

108
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,489
She calls him "master".

109
00:08:29,294 --> 00:08:30,390
Yeah.

110
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,094
He's gonna touch her.

111
00:08:51,118 --> 00:08:52,214
Yeah, yeah.

112
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:55,301
Cop a feel, go for it.

113
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,442
That guy is going for
the Hammer look.

114
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,695
Right on, dude!
Girls suck!

115
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:30,816
Yeah.

116
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,505
Look, somebody wrote half my
name on a big brown tooth.

117
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,667
- Where?
- Over there.

118
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,405
It says "butt".

119
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,916
Please excuse
Beavis and Butt-Head

120
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,285
from wearing althetic sip otters.

121
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:56,692
They where unable to buy them
because of a national sip otters shortage".

122
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,766
Now, that's funny, boys!
According to the local press here

123
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you had no trouble at all
locating the necessary equipment!

124
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Okay, people, squat thrust!

125
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Down, out, in, up!

125
00:10:20,305 --> 00:11:20,840
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