SPORTING GOODS
Hey Dia... Daria? Where did you get the camera?
Yeah. You look like one of those "pappanazis".
My parents made me join the school paper.
The paper made me fashion reporter because I'm a girl.
I hate fashion! There is no fashion in this town.
I wanna be an inquiring photographer.
Yeah, yeah. Then you can take pictures in the girls' locker room.
Yeah.
An inquire about how they'd like to please big daddy Butt-Head.
God, you're gross.
Hey why did you do that?
You never know "National Geographic" may call.
She thinks we're cool.
Yeah.
She's right.
Is this VH-1?
Shut up, dillhole! This isn't VH-1, this is the Chili Peppers!
This isn't the Chilli Peppers, this is like all wimpy and stuff.
Shut up, Beavis! This is cool.
This is cool?
Sometimes cool bands have to do like really wimpy songs so they can get chicks.
Oh yeah, yeah.
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Sometimes chicks like it when you get, like, all sensitive and stuff.
How come you, like, know so much about chicks but then you never get any chicks.
Well, I wasn’t born at a barn, but I can choke my chicken.
Oh yeah.
Some things just come natural.
It's, like, taking a dump just comes natural.
But you have to learn how to take a dump in a toilet.
- Yeah. I'm gonna learn how to do that. - That would be cool.
Yes! Yes!
Flea, Flea, Flea, Flea, Flea.
Go for it, Flea!
Yeah, yeah.
This is cool!
Yeah!
- Cool. - Good catch, Butt-Head!
Thanks.
I believe you're ready for the Loser Olympics!
Will I get to miss any school?
- Now you, Beavis! Are you ready? - Ready "mein kapitan"!
Yeah.
Do I take it, Beavis, that you are participating in physical education today
without groinal protection of any kind?
Are you not aware, Beavis, that a regulation designed athletic supporter
is a requirement in this course
even for such an obvious raisins sack as yourself?
Busted!
Yeah.
What about you, Butt-Head? Are you in possession of a regulation supporter?
- Of course - Are you prepared to present it for inspection?
I can't. Someone, like, stole it from my locker.
Yeah.
They sold it to buy drugs.
I see. Now, hear this, people,
tomorrow, when you report back to this facility
for another tragic comic attempt at physical education
you will be wearing supporters
or you will be assign to my remedial squat thrust seminar this summer!
Do I made myself clear?
- He said... - Do I made myself clear?
Buddy's cool.
Yeah. He's cool.
He did time.
Hey guys, what I can do you for?
We want...
Yeah.
Rollerblades? Megacarb powdered bulk up formula?
No.
Free weights? Batting cage? Zamboni?
No.
Crampons?
Wouldn't it be athletic supporters, by any chance? Would it?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. - Okay, what size, fellas?
- No, waist size. S, M or L? - What are those stand for?
Now let's see, you guys look like a pair of S's...
Yeah. That's what McVicker says.
Lets see...
Yeah, try 'em on over your pants, or I can't sell 'em to anyone else.
- The dressing rooms are over there. - Cool.
- Hey, watch it! - Cut it out!
Most people prefer to use a dressing room one at a time, but what the heck.
Out of my way, dillweed!
Hey, these are too big.
Yeah.
You must have us mixed up with due other guys.
Yeah.
I'm no Don Johnson, you know?
Well guys, it's the smallest size I have.
Wait a minute...
We got these eye patches for racket ball injuries
but they've been sitting here for years.
- Try 'em on, you can have them at no charge. - Cool.
I can't get this over my pants, dude, it's too tight.
Just take them off, dillweed. He said you could keep it anyway.
Hi. Can I help you?
I have some questions about active wear.
Cool. Snug nads.
The family jewels are secured.
How do we look?
Whoa! Even smaller than I thought!
That's that song from that show about
that belly dancer that lives in that bottle.
Yeah.
- And she lives with that cop. - Yeah.
She calls him "master".
Yeah.
He's gonna touch her.
Yeah, yeah.
Cop a feel, go for it.
That guy is going for the Hammer look.
Right on, dude! Girls suck!
Yeah.
Look, somebody wrote half my name on a big brown tooth.
- Where? - Over there.
It says "butt".
Please excuse Beavis and Butt-Head
from wearing althetic sip otters.
They where unable to buy them because of a national sip otters shortage".
Now, that's funny, boys! According to the local press here
you had no trouble at all locating the necessary equipment!
Okay, people, squat thrust!
Down, out, in, up!
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