1
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TORNADO

2
00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:15,140
Okay, everybody!
That cake should be ready now!

3
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,980
Why don't you sing a song,
while I take it out of the oven?

4
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,180
Stew-pendous!

5
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:26,221
There's a cake in the oven
so sweet and delicious.

6
00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:30,100
Yummy cake in the oven.
We love doing cake.

7
00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:36,020
I'm burning! Kids, help!

8
00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:37,180
This sucks!

9
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,300
Cool!

10
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,140
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

11
00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:50,500
Don't bogart my log, dude!

12
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:56,360
Why did you enlist if you didn't
want your breast fondled?

13
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Yeah, really.

14
00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:04,760
Ahoy, weather fans!

15
00:01:04,780 --> 00:01:08,300
Captain Dick Jackman here
at the newscenter weather council.

16
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My trusty radar tells
me there is a line

17
00:01:10,257 --> 00:01:12,340
of tornadoes forming in the
western canyon region.

18
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I'll have devastation footage at six,
plus the preschooler of the week!

19
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Whoa!

20
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,660
- We're there, dude.
- Yeah.

21
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- Where?
- The trailer park, dumbass.

22
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,360
Oh, yeah.

23
00:01:28,252 --> 00:01:30,287
Tornadoes are cool.

24
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Yes!

25
00:01:34,965 --> 00:01:37,834
- Now we're getting somewhere!
- Yeah, yeah.

26
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Now we're getting somewhere.

27
00:01:42,038 --> 00:01:45,036
- Even the old dude is cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

28
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- I like the tornado.
- Yeah, yeah.

29
00:01:59,122 --> 00:02:01,942
Almost everything in
this video is cool.

30
00:02:03,227 --> 00:02:05,224
What do you mean "almost"?

31
00:02:05,729 --> 00:02:07,244
What else do you want?

32
00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:14,622
Well, it would be pretty cool, like,

33
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,540
if somebody puked.

34
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So let it be done.

35
00:02:28,518 --> 00:02:30,198
Check it out Beavis.

36
00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:37,393
- That was disgusting!
- You asked for it, dude.

37
00:02:37,393 --> 00:02:40,129
Yeah, but I didn't
ask for blood in it.

38
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That was beyond the
limits of good taste.

39
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40
00:03:05,006 --> 00:03:06,432
Tornadoes are cool.

41
00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:09,047
They can drive matches
through a two-by-four.

42
00:03:09,072 --> 00:03:10,130
Yeah.

43
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:14,110
A tornado could smash
a puddle's face with a brick.

44
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,127
Yeah, it could suck a man's
heart out of his chest

45
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and show it to
him before he dies.

46
00:03:19,343 --> 00:03:20,386
Yeah.

47
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:23,010
They could like, pick up a phonebooth

48
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and move it five miles away

49
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,930
and then put it back without scratching it.

50
00:03:41,790 --> 00:03:42,830
Cool!

51
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:44,790
Hey Beavis,

52
00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:47,026
check out that trailer!

53
00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:49,250
Yeah.

54
00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:02,610
Hi, I'm Lolita
and this is Tanqueray.

55
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:05,589
Since we're all about
to die we were wondering

56
00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:08,628
if you guys'd like to be our
last boyfriends on Earth.

57
00:04:16,912 --> 00:04:18,908
- Okay.
- Yeah.

58
00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:22,972
Great! Let's go inside!

59
00:04:45,390 --> 00:04:47,224
I'm getting a woodrow.

60
00:04:47,794 --> 00:04:48,848
Yeah.

61
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:53,377
Hey baby, wanna...

62
00:04:57,590 --> 00:05:00,310
This sucks! We were gonna do it!

63
00:05:00,553 --> 00:05:02,570
You mean I was gonna do it.

64
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:05,221
You were just gonna spank your monkey.

65
00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:07,590
You wish, dillweed.

66
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,195
This sucks!

67
00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:39,014
Wait a minute...
What's this?

68
00:05:39,976 --> 00:05:41,538
This sucks!

69
00:05:42,581 --> 00:05:44,221
Yeah, it sucks!

70
00:05:52,555 --> 00:05:55,542
- Who's this?
- Yeah, yeah.

71
00:05:56,092 --> 00:05:59,172
What's this buttmunch
doing on a stage?

72
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:09,673
"You got a backstage pass, sir?"

73
00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:11,708
Yeah, yeah.

74
00:06:12,426 --> 00:06:14,379
... world.

75
00:06:15,787 --> 00:06:17,163
... human race.

76
00:06:30,927 --> 00:06:34,518
- Where did this guy come from?
- Yeah, yeah.

77
00:06:35,298 --> 00:06:37,332
Maybe he's just special.

78
00:06:38,742 --> 00:06:39,855
Yeah.

79
00:06:45,475 --> 00:06:50,237
Well, he is saying balls, and normally
that would be pretty cool...

80
00:06:51,547 --> 00:06:55,128
Yeah, but under these
circumstances, it sucks!

81
00:06:55,701 --> 00:07:00,741
Yeah, usually demolition and
destruction is pretty cool too,

82
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:05,419
but I don't know, it's, like,
here, it just, like, it falls flat.

83
00:07:05,443 --> 00:07:06,544
Yeah, yeah.

84
00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:10,482
I think even if they had some
fire in this video, it would still suck.

85
00:07:15,772 --> 00:07:19,479
Check it out: It's Krokus coming
to kick their ass.

86
00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:20,603
Yeah, yeah.

87
00:07:21,711 --> 00:07:24,649
It's "The night of the living
bands that suck".

88
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:42,610
Hey Butt-Head,
you think those two chicks are alive?

89
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,630
Of course not, assmunch.

90
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,754
- They would've try to find us by now.
- Yeah.

91
00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:54,030
Hi, I'm Lolita
and this is Tanqueray.

92
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:57,070
A couple of skis might
be trying to follow us.

93
00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:59,498
Can we stay with
you guys for a while?

94
00:08:15,018 --> 00:08:20,169
- Whoa! She's one of those grubby girls.
- Yeah, yeah.

95
00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:29,755
- She wants me...
- Yeah. Me too.

96
00:08:35,544 --> 00:08:36,566
Whoa!

97
00:08:37,587 --> 00:08:40,022
- She just had sex?
- Yeah.

98
00:08:40,022 --> 00:08:42,538
- Why don't they show that?
- Yeah.

99
00:08:42,592 --> 00:08:44,594
She said she just had sex.

100
00:08:45,356 --> 00:08:47,406
It wasn't with any of those guys.

101
00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:55,389
If this video had some explosions,
it would be the coolest video ever.

102
00:08:55,413 --> 00:08:58,052
Yeah, and like,
if the music was cool too.

103
00:08:58,076 --> 00:09:01,364
Oh, yeah. And they'd have to
have some, like, better singing.

104
00:09:01,388 --> 00:09:03,765
Yeah. And not those guys.

105
00:09:03,789 --> 00:09:06,093
Yeah, then it would rule!

106
00:09:13,589 --> 00:09:18,371
Check it out, Butt-Head. It's Mallory!
It's that chick from Family Ties.

107
00:09:18,395 --> 00:09:24,308
- Yeah. This is really noisy.
- Yeah. Noise is cool.

108
00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:38,807
This chick is weird.

109
00:09:40,550 --> 00:09:42,764
This chick's mouth is crooked.

110
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,304
I wonder why...

111
00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:48,129
Yeah.

112
00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,466
Why is it crooked?

113
00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:56,005
I don't know.

114
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,518
Hey Beavis,

115
00:10:07,538 --> 00:10:11,231
the name of this song is
"50 Foot Queenie".

116
00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:14,790
Yeah, I'd like a 50 foot queenie.

117
00:10:15,312 --> 00:10:19,156
- I'd like a 50 foot weenie.
- Yeah yeah.

118
00:10:20,062 --> 00:10:21,863
That would be cool too.

118
00:10:22,305 --> 00:11:22,418
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