1
00:00:00,162 --> 00:00:04,414
KIDNAPPED

2
00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:08,695
I'm a natural woman.
A vaggie natural woman.

3
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:15,557
And that's why at the very first sign of
itching I reach for Femme cream.

4
00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:18,360
Hey, I don't have time for
yeast infection.

5
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,620
That's why I go with Gynolubement.

6
00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:24,540
- Whoa! We gotta get some of that.
- Yeah.

7
00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:28,060
We don't have time for
yeast infection either.

8
00:00:32,996 --> 00:00:35,342
- Holy crap!
- Whoa!

9
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:38,147
What the hell is this crap?

10
00:00:38,763 --> 00:00:39,978
Oh my Gosh!

11
00:00:40,778 --> 00:00:42,761
Is this, like, a joke?

12
00:00:43,388 --> 00:00:47,463
- Yeah, yeah.
- I think it's safe to say that this sucks.

13
00:00:47,487 --> 00:00:51,150
Yeah, it sucks.
It sucks.

14
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:59,378
I thought people usually
look cool in leather jackets.

15
00:00:59,614 --> 00:01:00,705
Yeah.

16
00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:04,310
What's wrong? How come these
people all look like wussies?

17
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,389
Sometimes it just doesn't work, Beavis.

18
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,004
Maybe these are, like, vinyl jackets.

19
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:14,555
No, they're leather.
You can't polish a turd, Beavis.

20
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:19,180
Yeah, I tried that once,
I got, like, some dog doo-doo,

21
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:23,184
and like, some black shoe polish,
and then I like,

22
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:27,144
tried to polish it, but it's like,
it's like, you can't polish a turd!

23
00:01:27,889 --> 00:01:30,665
- That's disgusting, Beavis!
- Yeah, yeah.

24
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,129
I bet it was pretty cool to try, though.

25
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,751
- That cop should hit him.
- Yeah.

26
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,035
"Krokus"?

27
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,780
No, he's saying "cool kids".

28
00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:53,574
- These are supposed to be cool kids?
- Yeah, yeah.

29
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:58,079
I'd hate to see the un-cool kids!

30
00:02:00,722 --> 00:02:03,596
- This sucks!
- Yeah.

31
00:02:06,024 --> 00:02:07,416
Whoa!

32
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,885
- It's Barbie!
- Yeah.

33
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,848
They oughta get some dude
without a wiener to play Ken.

34
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,300
Why don't you go for it, Beavis?

35
00:02:19,088 --> 00:02:20,793
Shut up, Butt-Head!

36
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:26,250
This chick has more
teeth than most people.

37
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,038
Yeah.
Bite me!

38
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,359
She looks like that chick in the mall.

39
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,402
Chicken what?

40
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,656
That chick in the mall!

41
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:42,062
That chicken?
What do you mean?

42
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,500
No, asswipe!
I'm talking about that chick!

43
00:02:46,485 --> 00:02:49,048
Oh, you mean that chick
that works at Chick-fil-A?

44
00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:50,280
That chicken place?

45
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,217
What's your problem, Beavis?
I'm not talking about chicken!

46
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:57,013
Pull your thumb out of your ear
and put it back in your butt!

47
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,273
Shut up, Butt-Head!

48
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,309
You did talk about chicken!
You said that chicken mall!

49
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,560
I said that chick in the mall!

50
00:03:08,990 --> 00:03:12,801
- This video is upbeat.
- Yeah.

51
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:15,758
It makes me want to
get up and beat it.

52
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,563
You said "up".

53
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,795
This makes me feel good.

54
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,615
This video?

55
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,925
No, this.

56
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:36,540
This Saturday! Sunset to sunrise

57
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:41,300
bang your head 'till your ears bleed!
At the Civic Amphitheater!

58
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:46,620
It's Slayer, Metallica,
Megadeth and Color Me Badd.

59
00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:50,960
It's a lot of metal,
it's Mucho Metal!

60
00:03:50,961 --> 00:03:52,900
Tickets 23 $ available at all
ticket vendor locations

61
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,860
Alcove Boulevard,
Fairmont...

62
00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:57,820
But hurry, selling Friday!

63
00:03:58,195 --> 00:04:01,738
Whoa! Hey Beavis,
your nose is bleeding.

64
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,340
Cool!

65
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:07,243
We're there dude! Got any money?

66
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,339
45 Cents.
How about you?

67
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:19,363
I spent all my money playing Zeltar.
Got something we can sell?

68
00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:21,860
Sperm?

69
00:04:23,185 --> 00:04:24,284
Yeah.

70
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:32,074
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

71
00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:46,820
Cool.

72
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,460
Hi Beavis. Hi Butt-Head.

73
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,400
The front door is open.

74
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:57,080
Anyone can come walking
into your house.

75
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,340
Remember the Katie Beers tragedy?

76
00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:02,120
He said "beers".

77
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:04,100
Not like "beer".

78
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,001
Like that girl who was
kidnapped by a family

79
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,612
friend and locked
up under that house.

80
00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:11,679
Cool!

81
00:05:11,740 --> 00:05:14,019
Hey, if you two aren't careful,

82
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:17,887
you could get kidnapped too
and held for ransom.

83
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,180
Hey, uh... Stewart,

84
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,720
how much money do you parents have?

85
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:32,400
Oh, I would say more than average.

86
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,675
And they got 46 dollars?

87
00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:37,180
Oh, even more than that.

88
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:39,780
- In fact my...
- So, uh, Stewart

89
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:44,060
do you think they ...
love you?

90
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:48,740
Of course they love me!
I'm their only son, and well--

91
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,480
Hey Stewart,

92
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:52,760
wanna watch TV with us?

93
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,140
Yeah!

94
00:05:54,699 --> 00:05:55,775
Whoa!

95
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:59,660
This is great!
Hanging with you guys.

96
00:05:59,679 --> 00:06:01,146
Ah, yeah.

97
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,780
I have to go to the bathroom.

98
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,560
Hey Beavis, come with me
for a second!

99
00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:12,060
Choke your own chicken, dude!
What's wrong with you?

100
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,600
You, uh, have to...
Just come here!

101
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,060
No way!

102
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,280
What's your problem, butthole?

103
00:06:25,383 --> 00:06:26,569
Whoa!

104
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,486
- That was pretty cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

105
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:38,261
Check it out, Butt-Head,
it's that little dude.

106
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,448
What are you talking about, Beavis?

107
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,758
Wasn't that that kid from "Webster"?

108
00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:48,442
Oh, yeah.

109
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,883
Is this Skynyrd?

110
00:07:01,161 --> 00:07:02,377
Yeah, yeah.

111
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,023
- This is pretty cool.
- Yeah.

112
00:07:08,329 --> 00:07:12,468
Hey Arnold,
where are Willis and Kimberly?

113
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:19,194
- I wonder if they stand in the same jail.
- Yeah.

114
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,129
Right alongside "Danny Bonerduce".

115
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:27,937
Danny Bonaduce! Bonaduce!
Bonaduce! Bonaduce!

116
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:45,152
Check this out:
he's gonna say it.

117
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,959
Say it! Say it!

118
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,471
Say it!
Say it, bumwipe!

119
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,155
"Whatcha talkin' about"?

120
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,500
We have to call Stewart's parents now
and ask for money, remember?

121
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,260
Oh, oh yeah.

122
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,720
Here, you talking, disguise your voice.

123
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,080
- Hello.
- And thanks for calling.

124
00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:18,760
We are not here to take your call.

125
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,520
But if you leave a message
at the sound of the tone

126
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:25,060
- ...we will get back to you...
- ...in two shakes of a lamb's tail!

127
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,600
Good, honey.

128
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,900
We're, like, kidnappers or something.

129
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:36,348
- And we want some... money.
- Yeah.

130
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,360
Call us back immediately.

131
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,620
That was cool.

132
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,640
Hi guys.

133
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,600
You're back just in time
for "Full House".

134
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,900
That uncle Joey is funny, huh?

135
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,360
- This sucks.
- Yeah.

136
00:08:55,397 --> 00:08:57,760
We should've kidnap someone cool.

137
00:09:01,593 --> 00:09:04,099
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes! Yes!

138
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:08,113
Cool! White Zombie rules!

139
00:09:17,131 --> 00:09:21,884
I saw these guys! I went to this
concert and I kicked butt down in the pit!

140
00:09:21,893 --> 00:09:24,169
No you didn't. Liar.

141
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,901
You stood outside and tried to sneak in.

142
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,536
No way, Butt-Head.

143
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,188
Then you got your ass kicked
by that big fat bouncer

144
00:09:32,189 --> 00:09:34,975
when you tried to sneak backstage.

145
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:38,043
No way Butt-Head, I'm talking
about a different time. You weren't there.

146
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,859
Yeah, right... liar.

147
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:45,911
Now, keep your mouth shut.
This video is cool.

148
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:46,935
Oh, yeah.

149
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:11,198
Hey Beavis, this song is called
"Welcome to planet M.F."

150
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:15,988
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think M.F. stands for?

151
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,959
Let's see, M.F. ....

152
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,298
Pretty Cool?

153
00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,810
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty cool.

154
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,101
This kidnapping sucks.

155
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,257
Yeah.

156
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:44,580
Let's tape him to the
floor and drool on him.

157
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:49,520
Hey Beavis, you know, we could,
like, go to jail for this.

158
00:10:50,423 --> 00:10:52,829
Yeah, that would be cool.

159
00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:57,040
We'd have, like, lift
weights and get tattoos.

160
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:03,860
- Get the remote from him.
- Give me that!

161
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:09,300
Yeah Stewart, you can't watch and eat
at the same time, you'd get car sick.

162
00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:10,739
Yeah, yeah.

163
00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,620
Car sick.

164
00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:15,760
Let's watch something cool.

165
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:28,142
Butt-Head?

166
00:11:29,813 --> 00:11:30,975
Butt-Head?

167
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,528
Come on Butt-Head, this is
folk music. Change it!

168
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:37,780
No way.
The song gets cool later.

169
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,108
Come on Butt-Head, we can
watch something else

170
00:11:45,109 --> 00:11:47,138
then we can change it
back when it's cool.

171
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,672
Dammit Beavis,
it's gonna get cool.

172
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,018
- Let go of your hang ups.
- Oh, yeah.

173
00:12:06,997 --> 00:12:10,009
- Yes!
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

174
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:15,455
- I told you, dude.
- Yeah, yeah, this video is cool!

175
00:12:29,024 --> 00:12:30,324
Yeah.

176
00:12:32,009 --> 00:12:33,905
I like that part where it goes:

177
00:12:39,248 --> 00:12:40,879
Shut up Beavis!

178
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:45,052
I like it too, but you don't
have to slobber all over me.

179
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:54,159
- These guys have all done it.
- Yeah, yeah.

180
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:56,771
I bet these guys have
done it more than once.

181
00:12:56,772 --> 00:12:59,929
Yeah, yeah.
That's when you're really cool.

182
00:13:14,514 --> 00:13:17,351
Hey, this is really fun!

183
00:13:17,711 --> 00:13:20,785
You guys up for Erkel
and some cheddar corn?

184
00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:22,870
- This sucks.
- Yeah.

185
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:25,970
When's his mom gonna call?

186
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:29,090
Did I do thaaaat?

187
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:32,210
Come on over guys.

188
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,030
This sucks.
I can't take it anymore.

189
00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:37,010
Yeah, let's call his mom.

190
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:40,110
I already called, like, this many times.

191
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:45,790
- Maybe his parents don't want him back?
- Would you?

192
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,790
Look! Balki!

193
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,170
I love him!

194
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,690
What do we do now?

195
00:13:53,590 --> 00:13:55,630
Hey Stewart, leave!

196
00:13:57,110 --> 00:13:58,150
What?

197
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,470
Go away!
Get out of my house!

198
00:14:01,494 --> 00:14:03,943
Oh, well...

199
00:14:04,270 --> 00:14:08,270
Alright, I'm gonna hit the
Star Trek convention at the Days Inn.

200
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:11,430
George "Mr. Sulu" Takei
is gonna be there.

201
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:15,690
Then I'm going to the Civic Amphitheater
for the Mucho Metal concert.

202
00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:16,910
- Huh?
- Whoa!

203
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,190
My plate is full.

204
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:21,070
Later, amigos!

205
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,990
That's spanish for pals.

206
00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:27,590
He's going and we're not.

207
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:42,410
I thought Mucho Metal without
Beavis and Butt-Head? No way!

208
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:44,550
Look! A frisbee!

209
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,510
This is a cool concert.

210
00:14:48,190 --> 00:14:50,810
How come we're having such a sucky time?

211
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:59,590
These boys from Slayer really know
how to "shed". Don't they, Butt-Head?

212
00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:02,690
I'm Beavis.
Cut it out!

213
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:06,310
- Dried apricot, dear?
- No, thank you.

214
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:09,130
I don't like stuff that sucks.

215
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,610
I know.
Let's start a wave.

216
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:26,490
Faster Beavis, someone'd like, see us.

217
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:42,772
Naughty, naughty, very naughty,
naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty.

218
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,909
These guys are from that
country where everything sucks.

219
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:12,765
Yeah. And they all talk like wussies.
Naughty! Very naughty!

220
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,470
People from that country are stupid.

221
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,584
"I do say, old chap,
time to choke my chicken!"

222
00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:23,878
Yeah.
Bloody well right.

223
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:32,402
Slow down... slow down...
slow down.

224
00:16:32,482 --> 00:16:35,828
Yeah, slow down or shut up!

225
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,776
Slow down.

226
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:42,249
Hey Butt-Head, I feel a seizure coming on.

227
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,080
- That was cool.
- Yeah.

228
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,858
At least something good
came out of this video.

229
00:16:54,882 --> 00:16:56,296
Yeah, yeah.

230
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:15,350
I feel really badly that we got
separated from your friends, honey.

231
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:17,170
Oh, don't worry mother.

232
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:21,190
When a boy gets to be Stew's age
he can take care of himself.

233
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:23,810
Okay son, up to bed now!

234
00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:29,610
We're, like, kidnappers or something.

235
00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:33,121
- And we want some... money.
- Yeah.

236
00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:35,269
- Call us back immediately!
- Oh, no!

237
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,690
Beavis and Butt-Head are being kidnapped!

238
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:40,910
Is this Stew's dad?

239
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:45,710
- We are the kidnappers.
- Disguise your voice.

240
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,050
Shut up Beavis!

241
00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:52,734
- We want some money.
- That's cool, yeah.

242
00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:56,190
Stewart's parents?

243
00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,114
Yeah.

244
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:01,750
Hello?

245
00:18:01,870 --> 00:18:03,092
Nevermind.

246
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,585
What's this crap?

247
00:18:22,513 --> 00:18:26,148
Yeah. This chick looks like
that one porno star.

248
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:30,101
No way Beavis, that's that chick
from that Hairspray movie.

249
00:18:30,102 --> 00:18:31,166
Oh, yeah.

250
00:18:38,627 --> 00:18:40,229
Hey Beavis,

251
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,268
- this chick's real name is Deborah Harry.
- Yeah.

252
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,390
So, like, if you looked up
her name in the phonebook,

253
00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:50,740
it would say "Harry Deborah".

254
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,607
How come?

255
00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:58,394
I don't know, they always
put 'em backwards.

256
00:18:58,418 --> 00:18:59,418
Oh, yeah.

257
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,253
- Look at this dork!
- Yeah.

258
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,929
What is this, "Battle of the Dorks?"

259
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:10,113
I think we have a winner.

260
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,812
I think we have a wiener.

261
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,485
This looks like one of those
commercials for K-tel Records.

262
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,573
Yeah.

263
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:27,611
Hey, Beavis! "I hear disco is
making a comeback."

264
00:19:27,635 --> 00:19:31,887
Yeah.
"Just dial 1-800-WUSS!"

265
00:19:41,928 --> 00:19:46,037
Whoa! Beastie
Boys are cool.

266
00:19:46,732 --> 00:19:47,961
Yeah, yeah.

267
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:51,889
Check it out Butt-Head, now they
even play their own instruments!

268
00:19:52,784 --> 00:19:54,274
They rock!

269
00:19:55,145 --> 00:19:57,435
They rock!
They rock!

270
00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:02,566
Yeah. I wish
I could rock like this.

271
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:12,470
- Look at his pants.
- Yeah, yeah.

272
00:20:12,494 --> 00:20:14,714
Anderson's pants do that sometimes.

273
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:18,630
Yeah. Except he's not cool.

274
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,696
- Hey, who is that?
- That's like, the extra Beastie Boy.

275
00:20:27,985 --> 00:20:33,011
Whoa! You mean they got,
uh... four of them now?

276
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,605
Yeah. Plus that guy.

277
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,063
Oh yeah.

278
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,089
Look at his face!

279
00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:49,793
Yeah, yeah.
His face is cool.

280
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,839
If I had a face like that,

281
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,837
- I would, like, be pretty cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

282
00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:04,223
- Check it out, a giraffe.
- Yeah, giraffes are cool.

282
00:21:05,305 --> 00:22:05,785
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