1
00:00:00,268 --> 00:00:03,689
WASHING
THE DOG

2
00:00:05,646 --> 00:00:08,041
Okay. Comfy, Mr. Swinerton?

3
00:00:08,886 --> 00:00:11,395
Oh, yes, I'm fine.
I'm...

4
00:00:12,286 --> 00:00:13,999
That guy is old.

5
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:17,996
You're just being nice
to my rich husband

6
00:00:17,996 --> 00:00:20,491
so he'll put you in his will.

7
00:00:21,726 --> 00:00:25,601
Tune in tomorrow for another episode
of "The Rich And The Horny".

8
00:00:28,526 --> 00:00:31,399
Hey Butt-Head,
do we know any old guys?

9
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:35,285
Mr. Anderson.

10
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:39,875
Yeah.

11
00:00:40,086 --> 00:00:41,560
We're there.

12
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:49,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-

13
00:00:50,606 --> 00:00:53,843
Hey Mr. Anderson,
are you gonna die pretty soon?

14
00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:57,800
Yeah, and leave all your money
to someone?

15
00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:00,845
That would be cool.

16
00:01:01,446 --> 00:01:04,240
Boys, every man faces death.

17
00:01:04,326 --> 00:01:07,040
Lord knows I've faced it many times.

18
00:01:07,246 --> 00:01:09,022
I took lead at Anzio.

19
00:01:09,046 --> 00:01:11,396
I was napalmed in Korea.

20
00:01:11,486 --> 00:01:13,502
And boy, that little filly in Paris

21
00:01:13,526 --> 00:01:16,957
put an awful strain on
my ticker, I tell you what.

22
00:01:17,246 --> 00:01:18,720
On your what?

23
00:01:21,926 --> 00:01:25,622
Yep boys, I've arm-wrestled
with death all my life.

24
00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:26,982
But it's been a good life,

25
00:01:27,006 --> 00:01:28,722
and when the Grim Reaper
comes a-knockin',

26
00:01:28,746 --> 00:01:30,885
this van will stop rocking.

27
00:01:30,909 --> 00:01:34,080
So, are you gonna die soon?

28
00:01:34,509 --> 00:01:37,983
- Yes boys, I'm afraid it's inevitable.
- Cool.

29
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,363
So... you got any, like,
chores you want us to do?

30
00:01:43,487 --> 00:01:46,124
Yeah. We won't charge you nothing.

31
00:01:47,046 --> 00:01:50,636
Well, that's mighty nice of you boys.
Let's see here.

32
00:01:51,206 --> 00:01:53,742
Well, you could give
Colette here a bath.

33
00:01:53,766 --> 00:01:55,502
She ain't been feeling well lately.

34
00:01:55,526 --> 00:01:58,479
She's been rolling around
in her own sick.

35
00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:03,402
Smells like teen spirit.

36
00:02:03,766 --> 00:02:05,524
Smells like your butt.

37
00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:10,436
Okay dude, we'll be back.

38
00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:18,582
- This is gonna be cool.
- Yeah.

39
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:30,400
- What's with all these squares?
- Yeah.

40
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:33,356
Orange squares suck.

41
00:02:34,724 --> 00:02:37,924
If I wanted to learn about
geometry, I'd go to school.

42
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,600
Geometry's not about squares.
It's about triangles and stuff.

43
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,556
- I meant advanced geometry.
- Yeah.

44
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,698
These guys sure got wimpy.

45
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,707
Shut up, fartknocker!
These guys are cool!

46
00:03:02,731 --> 00:03:03,931
Oh yeah.

47
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,400
- Check out this old dude.
- Yeah.

48
00:03:19,424 --> 00:03:22,824
Hey old dude, there is
a duck after you.

49
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,670
- That wasn't funny, Beavis.
- Oh yeah.

50
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,200
Check it out, there is
something cool coming up.

51
00:03:37,224 --> 00:03:38,424
Yeah.

52
00:03:39,424 --> 00:03:40,935
That's not it.

53
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:46,612
- That's not it.
- Yeah, that's not it.

54
00:03:47,624 --> 00:03:49,440
- That's it!
- Yeah! Yeah!

55
00:03:49,619 --> 00:03:50,864
Yeah.

56
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,589
That's cool.

57
00:03:58,424 --> 00:04:01,432
- That's it again!
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

58
00:04:01,599 --> 00:04:02,856
Yeah.

59
00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:15,265
It says "load".

60
00:04:18,066 --> 00:04:20,522
Hey Butt-Head,
these things cost money.

61
00:04:20,546 --> 00:04:22,099
That sucks!

62
00:04:23,266 --> 00:04:24,946
Boys, would you do me a favor

63
00:04:24,946 --> 00:04:28,104
and watch my laundry
while I go to the store?

64
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,442
Are you gonna die pretty soon?

65
00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:34,022
I'm sorry son, I can't hear you.
You'll have to speak up.

66
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:38,300
Never mind.
We'll watch your stuff.

67
00:04:46,106 --> 00:04:48,137
Look, an old lady's panties.

68
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,780
It's a poodle. Set it on "delicate".

69
00:04:55,186 --> 00:04:56,944
This is gonna be cool.

70
00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:03,522
- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!
- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!

71
00:05:03,546 --> 00:05:06,943
- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!
- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!

72
00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:12,419
You think she's clean yet?

73
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,715
Yeah.
Take her out.

74
00:05:18,029 --> 00:05:21,599
Whoa!
Check it out, she's stoned.

75
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,221
Yeah.

76
00:05:32,272 --> 00:05:33,516
Whoa.

77
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:35,785
- Hey!
- Cool.

78
00:05:36,226 --> 00:05:37,541
Hey Beavis,

79
00:05:37,986 --> 00:05:39,762
I just made my pants dirtier.

80
00:05:39,786 --> 00:05:41,842
Hey, look out the window.

81
00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:43,658
Those people can see us.

82
00:05:45,026 --> 00:05:46,295
Yeah.

83
00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:49,175
To them, my face looks like a sock.

84
00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:11,904
I barfed on the dog.

85
00:06:12,946 --> 00:06:14,545
I barfed on you.

86
00:06:16,746 --> 00:06:18,140
That was cool.

87
00:06:19,866 --> 00:06:21,181
Let's go.

88
00:06:21,186 --> 00:06:23,377
Doing chores wipes me out.

89
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,505
You said "wipe".

90
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,559
Yes!

91
00:06:32,316 --> 00:06:34,887
It's about time
they play something cool.

92
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:36,111
Yeah.

93
00:06:40,828 --> 00:06:43,076
This guy kicks-ass!

94
00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:51,022
- This guy looks like Jesus.
- Yeah.

95
00:06:51,346 --> 00:06:52,817
Christ is cool.

96
00:07:18,901 --> 00:07:22,077
Whoa, Seattle kicks-ass!

97
00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:27,069
Yeah. Is everybody
in Seattle cool?

98
00:07:27,855 --> 00:07:32,782
Yeah, if you go to Seattle
anybody you see is cool.

99
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,616
- We should go, dude.
- Yeah, yeah.

100
00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:46,120
That's that dude from
the Spin Doctors.

101
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:50,244
He jams with
Soundgarden sometimes.

102
00:07:57,886 --> 00:08:00,142
She smells worse
than when I gave her to you.

103
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:02,118
I don't smell nothing.

104
00:08:03,326 --> 00:08:06,120
We used a special new dog detergent,

105
00:08:06,326 --> 00:08:08,142
lemon scented chunks.

106
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:10,742
Well, detergent ain't enough, boys.

107
00:08:10,766 --> 00:08:13,142
You gotta use good old elbow grease.

108
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:14,515
We used,

109
00:08:14,846 --> 00:08:16,320
stomach grease.

110
00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:19,422
You know, it's like the story
of the two frogs

111
00:08:19,446 --> 00:08:21,796
who fell in a pan of boiling milk.

112
00:08:22,206 --> 00:08:25,523
One of them said: "I'm done for",
and he gave up and died.

113
00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:28,742
The other one started flapping
his little froggy arms,

114
00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:30,942
flapping his arms, flapping his arms,

115
00:08:30,966 --> 00:08:33,924
'till finally he was standing
on a big chunk of cheese.

116
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:37,045
Whoa! We gotta try that.

117
00:08:37,566 --> 00:08:39,622
Yeah. Got any milk?

118
00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:42,782
All's I'm saying is,
you boys have to get up off your butts

119
00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:44,062
and work harder.

120
00:08:44,086 --> 00:08:45,782
Hey, it was free, ass wipe.

121
00:08:45,806 --> 00:08:48,582
That's it. Get your worthless hides
off my property

122
00:08:48,606 --> 00:08:50,478
and don't ever come back.

123
00:08:51,806 --> 00:08:53,075
Okay, but,

124
00:08:53,526 --> 00:08:54,942
we got just one question.

125
00:08:54,966 --> 00:08:56,281
Get out!

126
00:08:57,726 --> 00:08:59,598
Can we be in your will?

127
00:09:10,107 --> 00:09:11,410
Hey Beavis,

128
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,900
- where's Vanilli?
- Yeah.

129
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,873
That is Vanilli.
Where is Milli?

130
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,538
Set me free, Beavis.

131
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,296
Set me free.

132
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,900
Hey Butt-Head, change it
or kill me.

133
00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:51,243
That's Billy Idol?

134
00:09:52,955 --> 00:09:54,631
This is a story.

135
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:57,215
Yeah.

136
00:09:57,939 --> 00:09:59,353
The story is:

137
00:09:59,377 --> 00:10:03,024
"Once upon a time, Fonzie dyed his
hair blond,

138
00:10:03,048 --> 00:10:05,440
- and got on his motorcycle".
- Yeah.

139
00:10:06,057 --> 00:10:08,446
And, uhh... uh,

140
00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:12,170
then he started singing, and this woman
dropped this TV out of her window.

141
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,057
No way. Then he got in
a motorcycle accident.

142
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:18,883
And there was blood.
The end.

143
00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:23,642
Whoa! It's that
Weird Al dude!

144
00:10:27,271 --> 00:10:30,460
- There's gonna be a fight?
- Yeah.

145
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,856
It's gonna be one of those girl fights.

146
00:10:34,124 --> 00:10:35,610
Fight! Fight!

147
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:43,677
Whoa! He's gonna get
some 'cause he's Weird Al.

148
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:44,999
Yeah.

149
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:48,326
If you're famous, all you have to
do is just walk up to chicks and say:

150
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,750
- "Give me some".
- Yeah.

150
00:10:51,305 --> 00:11:51,479
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