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BEDPANS &
BROOMSTICKS

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Pity with me the blight of the warm
water mammal known as the sperm whale.

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Man's continued desecration of the sea
has left this species' future bleak,

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virtually hopeless.

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- He said "sperm".
- Yeah.

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The only hope
for these lovable gentle giants,

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is that perhaps the young people of today
will grow up more caring,

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more understanding,

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more sensitive to the very special
needs of the creatures of the Earth.

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Did you fart?

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What's this?

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This is that movie.

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- Is this "Lethal Weapon"?
- Yeah.

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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

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Yeah, play it.

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- Play it dumbass!
- Yeah.

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Hit him!

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Kick him! Kick him! Kick him!

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Whoa.

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- Maybe you shouldn't have played it.
- Yeah.

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Hey that's that dude
from "Saturday Night Live".

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Yeah.
"Blues Brother".

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- Don't do that spastic thing.
- Yeah.

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Hey Beavis,

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"What Izzy?"

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- Yeah.
- "Who Izzy?"

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Izzy quit Guns N' Roses
'cause Axl's a wuss.

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Yeah. He kicked Axl's ass!

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He kicked him! Kicked him!

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And he hit him!

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Settle down, Beavis!

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- You're gonna hose your shorts.
- Oh yeah.

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- Whoa, look at that car.
- Yeah. It's all, like, long.

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Mass transit is cool.

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Yeah.
I like ass transit too.

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- Community service is cool.
- Yeah.

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Doesn't this car belong to
that big fat dude?

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Yeah.
Let's steal it.

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That would be cool.

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It don't get any better
than this, dude.

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Hey, come on!

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Who do I got to boff around here
to get a pizza?

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You know the drill, Billy Bob,
it's just like I told

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you after your first coronary
and your second.

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And your sixth.

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You've got to eat right,
you gotta exercise and you gotta...

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Eat me.
Please, eat me Billy Bob.

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I'm a big moisty delicious slab of
Canadian bacon,

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with butter and maple syrup on top
and powdered sugar too.

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And listen to me Billy, you...

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Billy Bob?
You've got to count calories.

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You got to avoid saturated fats
and you've also got to avoid stress.

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I'm hot.
I'm tasty.

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I bet you just can't wait

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until my juices are dribbling
down your chin, can you Billy Bob?

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And most important of all,
keep that temper of yours under control!

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- Donut!
- Donut!

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They die!

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Punch it, Beavis.

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Now, this might be just
a tiniest bit uncomfortable, Mr Gillerman,

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but if you'll just relax...

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Try the morphine.
It's excellent today.

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That was cool.

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Whoa, cool!

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This is cool!

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Rain.

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Yeah.

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Yelling is cool.

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Yeah! Yeah!

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- He is taking a shower 'cause he stinks.
- Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Drums are cool.

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Yes!

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What?

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What?

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Is this about, like, the earth?

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No, it's about the firemen.

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Fire is cool.

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Whoa, cool!

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The fatter they are,
the fatter they fall.

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I think he's dead.

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He got a wallet?

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Ooh, he's breathing.

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Better zap him.

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Don't skip on the gravy.

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Whoa, we're heroes Beavis.

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We saved a life.

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And we got eleven bucks
out of his shorts.

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Yeah.

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Have a nice day, Beavis.

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Shut up!

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She looks like that
Peter Frampton chick.

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Yeah. These chicks aren't
as cool as the Cycle Sluts.

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- Yeah.
- And L7.

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Yeah.
They kick ass.

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Hey Butt-Head,
are you sure these are chicks?

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They'd better be.

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- They're giving me a woodrow.
- Yeah. Me too.

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Glam rock just isn't
what it used to be, Beavis.

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He... He said... He said p...

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- He said....
- He...

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He said "penis".

103
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He said "penis".

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He... He said...He... He said...

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He... He said...

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