1
00:00:00,475 --> 00:00:04,701
NO
LAUGHING

2
00:00:08,553 --> 00:00:09,566
Bueno.
(Okay)

3
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,847
Recuerdan por favor, clase.
(Okay. Please remember class)

4
00:00:11,872 --> 00:00:15,203
Siempre contestan en Español. ¿Bueno?
(always answer in Spanish, okay?

5
00:00:18,465 --> 00:00:19,780
¿Señor Butt-Head,
(Mr Butt-Head)

6
00:00:19,804 --> 00:00:21,901
cómo es Juan?
(What is Juan like?)

7
00:00:23,225 --> 00:00:24,599
Burritos?

8
00:00:24,745 --> 00:00:25,850
No, no, no.

9
00:00:25,868 --> 00:00:27,253
¿Cómo es Juan?
(What is Juan like?)

10
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,777
¿Cómo es Juan?
(What is Juan like?)

11
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:32,838
- Guacamole.
- No, no. ¿Señor Beavis,

12
00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:34,418
cómo es Juan?
(What is Juan like?)

13
00:00:36,105 --> 00:00:38,481
- Spaghetti.
- Spaghetti?

14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,836
Spaghetti?
That's Italian, you moron.

15
00:00:42,065 --> 00:00:45,455
Dammit! You idiots have been in this
class for almost a whole school year,

16
00:00:45,455 --> 00:00:48,881
and the only Spanish you know
is what you learned at Taco Bell.

17
00:00:48,905 --> 00:00:51,201
And Beavis can't
even get that right.

18
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,561
I'm gonna give you little bastards
just ten seconds

19
00:00:53,585 --> 00:00:55,401
to come up with
a sentence in Spanish,

20
00:00:55,425 --> 00:00:57,941
and if you can't, you're both
going to the principal's office

21
00:00:57,965 --> 00:00:59,896
and you're both flunking.

22
00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:01,798
Well, I'm waiting.

23
00:01:08,345 --> 00:01:10,461
Rendo-pordo-curdoh-nadava-duv-duv-dug ...
Rico Suave.

24
00:01:10,485 --> 00:01:12,382
Principal's office, now!

25
00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:16,274
Taco Supreme.

26
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,724
Get out! Now!

27
00:01:22,945 --> 00:01:25,187
What the hell is this crap?

28
00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:30,060
Mine has more bumps.

29
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:38,074
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

30
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,417
Hey Beavis, this guy
sounds like you.

31
00:01:42,747 --> 00:01:44,442
Shut up, fartknocker.

32
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,598
That dude is wearing
a Yamaha.

33
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,094
He is a loser.

34
00:02:03,843 --> 00:02:05,863
- And a pansy.
- Yeah.

35
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:08,779
This guy sucks.

36
00:02:11,394 --> 00:02:14,214
Push the little pansies
and make 'em come up.

37
00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:17,188
Push the little pansies
and make 'em come up.

38
00:02:18,502 --> 00:02:19,745
That was cool.

39
00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,632
- These guys got no future.
- Yeah.

40
00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:37,695
Check it out, it's Corky.

41
00:02:44,834 --> 00:02:47,978
- Push this.
- Yeah, push this.

42
00:02:51,727 --> 00:02:52,843
Whoa.

43
00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:55,396
She said "uh".

44
00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:08,022
I'm already up.

45
00:03:16,537 --> 00:03:18,453
- Is this a commercial?
- Yeah.

46
00:03:19,594 --> 00:03:22,953
It's a commercial for
MTV's House Of Butts.

47
00:03:24,487 --> 00:03:26,640
She sings better than
Cindy Crawford.

48
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,435
Yeah,
it's high noon on my sundial.

49
00:03:38,493 --> 00:03:40,186
I like music.

50
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,356
- She said "cream".
- Yeah.

51
00:03:48,335 --> 00:03:52,301
Excuse me, Beavis,
I have to go spank my monkey.

52
00:04:11,298 --> 00:04:13,641
Whoa,
that was cool.

53
00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:15,403
It really does happen.

54
00:04:21,425 --> 00:04:24,241
- Okay, Armstrong.
- Here.

55
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,117
- Armiho.
- Present.

56
00:04:26,425 --> 00:04:27,961
- Bacca.
- Yo.

57
00:04:27,985 --> 00:04:29,723
- Butkis.
- Here.

58
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,121
Dammit, what's wrong
with you two?

59
00:04:35,145 --> 00:04:37,441
We've been in school
over seven months now,

60
00:04:37,465 --> 00:04:40,521
and every single day
when I call Daniel Butkis's name,

61
00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:41,961
you guys have to laugh.

62
00:04:41,985 --> 00:04:43,801
Is it really still that funny?

63
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,601
Doesn't it ever get old?

64
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,581
Are you gonna laugh
for the rest of your lives

65
00:04:47,605 --> 00:04:50,538
every time someone
says the name Butkis?

66
00:04:52,745 --> 00:04:55,837
That does it!
Principal's office, now!

67
00:04:57,425 --> 00:05:01,321
Therefore, we can say that any
two amoeba are identical twins,

68
00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,761
since they all have
the same genetic makeup.

69
00:05:03,785 --> 00:05:07,673
There all the same sex
and can reproduce by themselves.

70
00:05:08,665 --> 00:05:11,681
So, all sperm cells contain
either an X-chromosome

71
00:05:11,705 --> 00:05:13,682
or a Y-chromosome,
and...

72
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,718
She said sperm.

73
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:19,721
Depending on which sperm cell
fertilises the egg...

74
00:05:19,745 --> 00:05:23,961
I said, depending on which
sperm cell fertilises the egg,

75
00:05:23,985 --> 00:05:26,641
the zygote will be
either male or female.

76
00:05:26,665 --> 00:05:28,198
Shut up!

77
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,474
McVicker's office, now!

78
00:05:34,412 --> 00:05:37,107
Yes!
The Butthole Surfers!

79
00:05:37,131 --> 00:05:40,759
Yeah!
The Butthole Surfers rule.

80
00:05:44,403 --> 00:05:46,219
- Look it's Flea! It's Flea!
- Yeah! Yeah!

81
00:05:46,243 --> 00:05:47,263
- Flea, Flea.
- Yeah!

82
00:05:47,287 --> 00:05:48,727
Flea is cool!

83
00:06:08,545 --> 00:06:10,641
Animation is cool.

84
00:07:24,406 --> 00:07:27,174
Butthole Surfers kick ass.

85
00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:37,661
Oh, you guys
think this is funny?

86
00:07:37,685 --> 00:07:40,341
You've been to
four classes today,

87
00:07:40,365 --> 00:07:42,686
and you've been
sent here four times.

88
00:07:43,525 --> 00:07:44,741
And this laughing thing.

89
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,661
What the hell is
with this laughing thing?

90
00:07:46,685 --> 00:07:48,421
All the teachers
are sick of it.

91
00:07:48,445 --> 00:07:50,661
Mr Sherman,
your history teacher,

92
00:07:50,685 --> 00:07:53,661
says he's completely given up
on trying to teach your class

93
00:07:53,685 --> 00:07:55,616
about the Gay Nineties.

94
00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:57,581
See? See?

95
00:07:57,605 --> 00:08:00,503
Now, that's exactly
what I'm talking about.

96
00:08:00,565 --> 00:08:03,133
You are both suspended
for a week.

97
00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:07,697
What's that mean?

98
00:08:08,005 --> 00:08:11,461
It means, I...
I don't wanna see you

99
00:08:11,485 --> 00:08:14,463
anywhere near this school
for a whole week.

100
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,014
Cool.

101
00:08:19,905 --> 00:08:21,201
Shut up!

102
00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:24,001
Forget it.
No, no, you're not suspended.

103
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,961
No, I've got a better idea.

104
00:08:26,985 --> 00:08:30,043
Yeah, I'm gonna get
you guys this time.

105
00:08:50,742 --> 00:08:53,152
- These guys are cool.
- Yeah.

106
00:09:11,455 --> 00:09:14,815
These guys are cool 'cause they, like,
jump around real slow.

107
00:09:14,839 --> 00:09:15,939
Yeah.

108
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:19,468
That would be cool if you can
go to this forest.

109
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,253
And hang out with these guys.

110
00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:25,385
Yeah, we could, like, dance in
the forest and be cool.

111
00:09:25,409 --> 00:09:26,509
Yeah.

112
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:34,163
Whoa! Is this, like,
the Weather Channel?

113
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,595
Yeah, the forecast is partially cool.

114
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,711
- Gardenia.
- Yeah.

115
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,151
- Gardenia.
- Gardenia, Gardenia, Gardenia.

116
00:10:16,498 --> 00:10:18,794
- These guys are good dancers.
- Yeah.

117
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,963
- I wish I was more like them.
- Yeah, me too.

118
00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:49,440
I think birth control is
a very important

119
00:10:49,464 --> 00:10:50,946
issue in a woman's life.

120
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,168
I've looked into all the options

121
00:10:54,579 --> 00:10:56,631
and I'm using the Today sponge.

122
00:10:58,357 --> 00:10:59,879
That was cool.

123
00:11:02,085 --> 00:11:03,303
I don't want gimmicks.

124
00:11:03,327 --> 00:11:06,368
I want a long distance
phone company I can count on.

125
00:11:11,334 --> 00:11:15,385
Hey Butt-Head, Mr. McVicker says
if we laugh any more in class

126
00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:17,505
- we're gonna get expelled.
- Yeah.

127
00:11:18,212 --> 00:11:19,864
That would be cool.

128
00:11:28,784 --> 00:11:30,239
Look at this.

129
00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:34,257
What a bunch of crap.

130
00:11:38,496 --> 00:11:41,513
- Is this a Clearasil commercial?
- Yeah.

131
00:11:42,579 --> 00:11:43,893
This is stupid.

132
00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:46,249
Yeah,
and it sucks too.

133
00:11:55,065 --> 00:11:56,357
What's this?

134
00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:00,993
- This sucks.
- Yeah.

135
00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:03,579
This is stupid.

136
00:12:07,737 --> 00:12:09,808
Is this Dire Straits again?

137
00:12:20,926 --> 00:12:24,098
- These cheerleaders are fat.
- Yeah.

138
00:12:28,202 --> 00:12:30,835
This is stupid.
Change it.

139
00:12:31,590 --> 00:12:34,124
No, wait a minute.
Check it out.

140
00:12:34,148 --> 00:12:36,146
Come on Butt-Head,
change it, this sucks.

141
00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:37,498
- No way.
- Change it Butt-Head,

142
00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:38,897
change it, this sucks.

143
00:12:45,177 --> 00:12:47,694
Whoa! Is this Michael Jackson?

144
00:12:48,776 --> 00:12:50,541
Yeah, that's where he sleeps.

145
00:12:51,275 --> 00:12:54,454
No, he told Oprah he doesn't
really sleep in a hyperbolic chamber.

146
00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:56,575
And he has a skin disease.

147
00:12:57,615 --> 00:12:59,454
You watch Oprah?

148
00:13:02,419 --> 00:13:03,917
What a wuss.

149
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:05,823
Shut up, bunghole!

150
00:13:06,709 --> 00:13:09,914
I just watched it that once, because I
thought they'd show his hair on fire.

151
00:13:11,539 --> 00:13:13,698
Yeah, right, Beavis.

152
00:13:15,069 --> 00:13:16,510
What a wuss.

153
00:13:24,627 --> 00:13:26,576
"I'm not just a
hair club member.

154
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,002
- I'm the president".
- Yeah.

155
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:31,168
You said "member".

156
00:13:36,378 --> 00:13:38,848
Let's try to find a video
that doesn't suck.

157
00:13:41,525 --> 00:13:44,344
So, Beavis and Butt-Head,

158
00:13:44,565 --> 00:13:46,141
I understand Mr McVicker

159
00:13:46,165 --> 00:13:48,341
has made a little arrangement
with you guys.

160
00:13:48,365 --> 00:13:50,262
Yeah, a little probation.

161
00:13:50,845 --> 00:13:53,341
You see, class,
Beavis and Butt-Head here

162
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:56,343
are not allowed to laugh
for a whole week.

163
00:13:56,685 --> 00:13:59,741
That's right.
And if they do laugh, they'll be expelled

164
00:13:59,765 --> 00:14:01,701
and they'll have to
go to Hope high school,

165
00:14:01,725 --> 00:14:04,661
where they'll get their
asses kicked on a daily basis

166
00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:06,662
by all the other delinquents.

167
00:14:08,245 --> 00:14:10,541
Well, l was real
glad to hear that,

168
00:14:10,565 --> 00:14:13,225
because this is
sex education week.

169
00:14:13,525 --> 00:14:16,093
That's right,
sex ed week.

170
00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:18,974
We're gonna be talking
about the penis!

171
00:14:19,405 --> 00:14:22,065
We'll be talking
about the vagina!

172
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:24,261
Do you think that's
funny, Butt-Head?

173
00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:28,378
Do you find it amusing
that we'll be talking about the testicles?

174
00:14:28,645 --> 00:14:32,461
Yes, were also gonna be
talking about venereal disease!

175
00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:34,282
Sexual intercourse!

176
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,392
The scrotum!

177
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,464
The clitoris!

178
00:14:36,465 --> 00:14:40,601
And we will definitely be spending
a lot of time

179
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,955
talking about masturbation!

180
00:14:47,405 --> 00:14:50,497
Well, now that that's out of the way,
let's take roll.

181
00:14:50,645 --> 00:14:52,701
- Butkis!
- Here.

182
00:14:53,765 --> 00:14:56,095
Gaylord!
Hymen!

183
00:15:18,545 --> 00:15:20,283
Then he said penis.

184
00:15:21,185 --> 00:15:24,516
Yeah.
Then he said masturbation.

185
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:28,041
Then he said vagina.
That was cool.

186
00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:34,729
Is this that show about
that deaf lawyer?

187
00:15:34,753 --> 00:15:35,853
Yeah.

188
00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:38,245
Hey Beavis,

189
00:15:39,483 --> 00:15:42,844
- I'd like to make a motion.
- Yeah, me too.

190
00:15:48,561 --> 00:15:51,913
- Yes.
- Whoa, Cop Rock reruns.

191
00:15:51,937 --> 00:15:54,683
Yeah, Cop Rock reruns.

192
00:15:55,312 --> 00:15:56,726
This is cool.

193
00:15:58,539 --> 00:16:00,917
This is the one where
they sing in court.

194
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,378
No way, this is the one where
they sing in that locker room.

195
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:07,010
That's the same
show, dumbass.

196
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,655
- There only was one show.
- Yeah, but it was cool.

197
00:16:24,163 --> 00:16:26,163
- "No sax in court".
- Yeah.

198
00:16:31,078 --> 00:16:35,176
- The prostitution rests.
- Yeah change it, change it, quick.

199
00:16:43,473 --> 00:16:47,472
Whoa, that fish has a face
on his butt.

200
00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:51,260
Yeah, that's cool.

201
00:16:52,106 --> 00:16:54,075
I wish I had a face
on my butt.

202
00:16:54,099 --> 00:16:55,257
Yeah, yeah.

203
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:58,253
You could blow your nose
in your underwear.

204
00:16:59,564 --> 00:17:01,610
Yeah, you wouldn't need a hanky.

205
00:17:12,809 --> 00:17:16,005
We should start a band and
call it "Butt-Head Butt-Head".

206
00:17:16,651 --> 00:17:17,828
Yeah.

207
00:17:18,292 --> 00:17:19,652
"Beavis Beavis".

208
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:30,234
Whoa, that guy is one
of those transformers.

209
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:31,358
Yeah.

210
00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:50,442
Cool.

211
00:17:55,391 --> 00:17:56,562
Bubbles.

212
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,892
This court is now in session.

213
00:18:07,243 --> 00:18:10,733
I know you've been sworn, sir,
and I have read your complaint.

214
00:18:12,123 --> 00:18:14,532
It's my turn to be
the judge, ass wipe.

215
00:18:15,483 --> 00:18:16,618
Oh, yeah.

216
00:18:17,603 --> 00:18:18,772
Okay.

217
00:18:19,503 --> 00:18:21,753
This court is now in session.

218
00:18:22,903 --> 00:18:26,200
How do you please,
to these charges of...

219
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:28,352
Trespassing.

220
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,232
Oh, yeah.

221
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,116
Trespassing.

222
00:18:33,623 --> 00:18:36,874
And buzzing around
and getting in my face and stuff.

223
00:18:37,223 --> 00:18:41,077
How do you please
to these charges against you?

224
00:18:41,943 --> 00:18:43,681
The defense rests.

225
00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:48,632
Shut up!

226
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:50,712
Okay.

227
00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:55,196
I hereby sentence the defendant
to death by...

228
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,402
Death by...

229
00:19:02,303 --> 00:19:04,234
Saw off his tweeter.

230
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:10,979
- Breaking the law, breaking the law.
- Breaking the law, breaking the law.

231
00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:14,293
- Breaking the law, breaking the law.
- Breaking the law, breaking the law.

232
00:19:16,554 --> 00:19:17,709
Cool.

233
00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:21,986
Yeah, this is what
death rock is all about.

234
00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:23,141
Yeah.

235
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,847
Drums, guitars and death.

236
00:19:37,748 --> 00:19:40,709
- They finally got it right.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

237
00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:44,035
Now all it needs is some fire.

238
00:19:44,228 --> 00:19:47,399
- Fire!, Fire!, Fire!, Fire!, Fire!
- Shut up, Beavis,

239
00:19:47,423 --> 00:19:49,076
- I'm trying to listen.
- Oh.

240
00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:22,032
Pizza, pizza.

241
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,088
Whoa.

242
00:20:36,515 --> 00:20:38,376
- That guy is pissed.
- Yeah.

243
00:20:51,968 --> 00:20:54,165
- These guys are cool.
- Yeah.

243
00:20:55,305 --> 00:21:55,173
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