1
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SICK

2
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... I'm 42 year old, I have
eleven wonderful children...

3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,490
Beavis.

4
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:14,620
These taste pretty good.

5
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:22,074
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6
00:00:24,397 --> 00:00:26,426
Ooh, big one.

7
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,180
The common cold can knock you out.

8
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,502
But did you know
that the leading prescription

9
00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:34,444
cold remedy is more
than 70% alcohol,

10
00:00:34,540 --> 00:00:36,140
or that can make you lightheaded,

11
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:39,140
woozy, even hallucinogenic.

12
00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,700
Whoa!

13
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:43,660
I think we need a doctor.

14
00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:47,620
Yeah, we're sick.

15
00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:49,420
Check it out.

16
00:00:51,889 --> 00:00:53,032
Cool!

17
00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,162
Yes!

18
00:01:03,049 --> 00:01:06,980
- Hey, somebody pitched a tent.
- Yeah.

19
00:01:09,709 --> 00:01:11,748
Now this is feel good music.

20
00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:20,993
- This video tells a message.
- Yeah.

21
00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:26,188
- The message is "Vince Neil is a wuss".
- Yeah.

22
00:01:26,609 --> 00:01:29,035
That guy from Danzig will kick his ass.

23
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:38,077
Hey Butt-Head, what does
Doctor Feelgood mean?

24
00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:41,784
That's like, when the doctor
makes you cough,

25
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,482
and he puts his fingers on your nads.

26
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,988
Yeah, that's cool.

27
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:51,041
Oh yeah?

28
00:01:52,443 --> 00:01:54,676
You don't have a female
doctor, do you Beavis?

29
00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:05,348
- This video has fire and cars.
- Yeah, and tattoos and leather.

30
00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:08,586
Now, all it needs is some chicks.

31
00:02:09,269 --> 00:02:12,561
- Then it would be cool.
- Yeah.

32
00:02:18,525 --> 00:02:20,265
Fire! Fire! Fire!

33
00:02:21,586 --> 00:02:22,754
Cool!

34
00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:30,973
- This isn't as cool as Scarface.
- Yeah.

35
00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:37,931
This was before the
music revolution.

36
00:02:39,674 --> 00:02:43,541
Hey this looks like that "Less Miserables"
poster in Mrs. Dickie's class.

37
00:02:43,565 --> 00:02:44,593
Yeah.

38
00:02:46,306 --> 00:02:49,413
This Less Miserables-looking thing sucks.

39
00:02:56,558 --> 00:02:58,641
This guy does everything by himself.

40
00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:03,536
Hey, I detect masturbatory overtones.

41
00:03:06,445 --> 00:03:09,335
- "Playing with myself. Oh oh".
- "Playing with myself. Oh oh".

42
00:03:09,359 --> 00:03:11,291
- "Playing with myself".
- "Playing with myself".

43
00:03:16,468 --> 00:03:19,611
- He's talking about choking his chicken
- Yeah.

44
00:03:20,346 --> 00:03:22,481
He's talking about spanking his monkey.

45
00:03:28,064 --> 00:03:32,255
Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat,
sweat! sweat!

46
00:03:33,971 --> 00:03:35,753
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Sweat, sweat.

47
00:03:35,777 --> 00:03:37,777
- Sweat, sweat.
- Sweat, sweat, sweat.

48
00:03:39,924 --> 00:03:42,217
I'm pretty cool sometimes,
huh, Beavis?

49
00:03:53,389 --> 00:03:54,610
Why!?

50
00:03:56,144 --> 00:03:57,881
Who wants...?
Who wants cheese on..?

51
00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:01,408
Medium?
Medium well?

52
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,480
That's cool.

53
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,360
Number 83.

54
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,360
Number 8-3,

55
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:17,301
Pickles?
Pickles?

56
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:19,840
Cool!

57
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:23,276
And what is your problem?

58
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,071
I kinda... ow!...
have a fork stuck in my head.

59
00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:35,800
We're number 83 and we need
the leading subscription cold remedy.

60
00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:39,355
We are, like, sick or something.

61
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:50,904
I have not gone on break
in two hours and fifteen minutes.

62
00:04:53,812 --> 00:04:55,514
And what is your problem?

63
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,920
We're sick.

64
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,120
See?

65
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,920
Look, room seven. Strip down to your
underpants, wait for the doctor.

66
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,360
I'm going on my break.

67
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,020
Cool.

68
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,920
So the doctor says:

69
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,880
"Rectum?
It nearly killed him".

70
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,360
Nice wedgie, dude.

71
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,840
Look, it's a thong.

72
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,440
That's cool.

73
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,880
Oh, okay. So, you boys
have bad colds, right?

74
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,560
- She saw your butt.
- Shut up!

75
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,880
Yeah, we have bad colds.

76
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,038
Probably, like, ammonia or something.

77
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,680
So, we need rest, fluids,

78
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,840
and a leading description
cold remedy. A big bottle.

79
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,600
Well, we'll see, Mr. Butt-Head.

80
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,400
How about we start with you?
Just hop up on the table over there,

81
00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:15,180
and let me take a
quick look in your ear, okay?

82
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,440
Well, what I actually said,
Mr. Butt-Head, was

83
00:06:19,464 --> 00:06:22,402
"In your ear", not "In your rear".

84
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,663
So, maybe you could...?
You know.

85
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,419
You can call him Crisco, 'cause
he's fat in the can.

86
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,389
Shut up, Beavis!

87
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,126
- Hey! Hey!
- Butthole!

88
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:37,121
I tell you what. Let's just
cut this short, okay?

89
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,174
I'll give you each a
quick antibiotic injection,

90
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,350
and you should start
feeling better very soon.

91
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,595
No leading inscription cold remedy?

92
00:06:43,814 --> 00:06:45,996
No wild cherry or cool grape goodness?

93
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,851
No, I never prescribe that stuff.

94
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,875
It tends to make
patients kinda lightheaded.

95
00:06:52,214 --> 00:06:53,300
Homeowner.

96
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,120
Sometimes, they even
get high or hallucinate.

97
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,854
Alright, then.
You can dress now if you'd like.

98
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,399
In fact, I'd really appreciate

99
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,330
if you do it as quickly as possible.
And the nurse will be in momentarily,

100
00:07:04,354 --> 00:07:06,354
with your bill.

101
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:15,580
This sucks!
No medicine, no buzz, nothing.

102
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:18,780
Yeah,
I'm starting to feel better.

103
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,620
What a rip-off.

104
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,180
Honey, where's the pickles?

105
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,483
Where's the pickles?

106
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,630
Check it out, Beavis.

107
00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:42,275
- It's those dudes on Stewart's lunchbox.
- Yeah.

108
00:07:50,239 --> 00:07:55,423
This video needs, like, more explosions
and close-ups of butts.

109
00:07:55,977 --> 00:08:00,221
Yeah, they should have somebody
come out and start kicking these guys.

110
00:08:01,269 --> 00:08:03,501
- That would be cool.
- Yeah.

111
00:08:05,015 --> 00:08:06,453
They could kick him.

112
00:08:07,877 --> 00:08:09,363
And punch him too.

113
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:11,473
Like Ice Cube.

114
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:14,642
He could come out
and kick all these guys.

115
00:08:15,099 --> 00:08:17,347
- That would be cool.
- Yeah.

116
00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:27,571
- He said "hanging'".
- Yeah.

117
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,280
If this toad licking thing works,

118
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,400
we not gonna even need
the leading conniption cold remedy.

119
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,640
Anything yet?

120
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,285
Are you sure you're licking right?

121
00:08:57,139 --> 00:08:58,206
Yeah.

122
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,030
I don't get it! It's supposed
to pack an awesome buzz.

123
00:09:08,947 --> 00:09:10,880
Taste like chicken.

124
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,103
- Here toady.
- Here toady.

125
00:09:18,128 --> 00:09:19,197
Yes!

126
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:24,886
Whoa!
"Trials Of life".

127
00:09:25,755 --> 00:09:27,941
"Why do you think they
call them animals?"

128
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:36,404
Yeah, "Volume One. Hunting and escaping.
Order now! Operators are standing by!"

129
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,728
Whoa, a baby!

130
00:09:45,297 --> 00:09:46,791
How did that happen?

131
00:09:54,482 --> 00:09:55,551
Cool!

132
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,338
These guys are pissed off.

133
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:07,517
- Yeah, they got a bad attitude.
- That's cool.

134
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,310
This is the coolest video
I've ever seen in my life.

135
00:10:19,182 --> 00:10:20,937
His beard is cool.

136
00:10:27,074 --> 00:10:29,206
It's King Tut from Batman.

136
00:10:30,305 --> 00:11:30,274
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