AT THE SIDESHOW
I think birth control is a very important issue in a women's life...
I'm looking at all the options and...
One week only! The Stench Brothers traveling carnival!
Rides! Games!
That's stupid.
Fun for all!
If you're dead.
And the nastiest freaks you'll ever see in this lifetime.
Whoa, maybe they got one of those dudes with two butts.
Yeah, that would be cool.
We're there dude.
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- Whoa, these chicks are pretty tough. - Yeah, I didn't know girls were cool.
Whoa, check it out. Where is his penis?
It's in his hand, where it always is.
These guys are pretty cool.
- Even known they're 60. - Yeah, that one guy is 69.
- He looks like Vanilli. - Yeah.
- Hit him! Hit him! Hit him! - Yeah.
- Just keep playing. - Yeah.
Everything is cool.
- That sucked. - Yeah, he should've waited longer.
Yeah.
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! - Cool.
- Airbags suck. - Yeah.
Step right up and see the gorilla boy,
- once an ordinary everyday teenager. - This sucks.
An honor roll football star...
Come right in here, folks. Come on. See the half and half woman-man.
Born with two perfect and functioning sets of gender organs.
Folks, he is never lonely on Saturday night.
Check this out.
Excuse me, sir. Which way is the dude with two butts?
Hey, get lost!
That was cool.
She tucks her legs behind her head and walks on her hands.
She twists and turns like a human pretzel.
Fellas, a public promenade is no place to describe what else she does.
But let me put it this way:
the little lady bends north, south,
east, west and all points in between.
Born without a solid bone in her body, she's the rubber band lady.
- Whoa, that looks cool. - I'm there, dude.
- Whoa, cop a feel. - Yeah.
Dude, I'm pitching a tent.
Thank you very much, folks.
Step to the left. Plenty of other attractions still open.
Move it, folks. Thank you, get out!
- We can't leave, dude. - Yeah, we gotta meet this chick.
Come on in, boys.
Now, why don't you boys tell me what brings you back here?
We wanna know how you do that stuff.
- I'm double-jointed, hon. - Double-jointed?
Come on, boys, I ain't got all night. How do you want it?
Want what?
Come on sonny, nobody is that stupid.
Tell me what's your pleasure and we'll negotiate.
What do you like, boys? What do you like?
I like to blow up lizards.
Yeah, I like to burn stuff.
These rubes bothering you, Tiffany?
- Whoa, it's that gorilla dude. - Yeah.
Their indecisiveness is cutting into my work day.
Look, this is your lucky day, fellas. Capiche?
You seen the act, the lady does things with the body
that you'll still dream about when you are ninety five and can't hold your water.
But she is short on patience and don't like being joked around.
So, you got a special trick in mind, let's hear it, now!
- What... yeah. - Yeah... maybe.
- That would be cool. - That would be cool, yeah.
Could you pick your butt with your nose?
Hey, where is Tito?
Isn't that Jermaine dude?
They are in a rubber.
Yeah.
This should've been the Super Bowl half time show.
- Yeah, that would've been cool. - Yeah.
They could've had everybody get inside a big rubber.
Hey Beavis, guess where his hand's been.
Yeah.
Where's Tito?
Tito!
Tito is cool.
Yeah, Tito rules.
- He used to be in the Village People. - Yeah.
- This is torture. Change it. - Yeah.
This is a very gay tune.
- Yeah, you mean, like, happy. - Yeah.
- Hey, it's Debby Gibson. - Yeah.
You're a man?
- No way. - He is not even a boy.
He's Boy George.
This video needs some, like, car accidents.
Yeah, yeah, with lots of fire.
Then it would be cool.
Hey Beavis, is this supposed to be, like, in the future?
Yeah,
the future sucks. Change it.
I'm pretty cool Beavis, but I can't change the future.
Experience an unforgettable lesson in Mother Nature's cruel sense of humour.
I know you've seen Siamese twins,
I know you've seen geeks bite heads off chickens.
But not since the collapse of
South Korea's Mong Dynasty in the year 467 BC
has the world seen the rare and terrifying combination
of chicken-head-biting Siamese twin geeks.
- This costume sucks. - Yeah.
Watch it dude, you're pulling my stitches.
Sorry.
Pass the ketchup, dude.
- This reminds me of the "Love Boat". - Yeah.
Remember that time Kristy McNichol was on?
Yeah, her and Isaac did the wild thing.
And then captain Stuby got her.
- This video is confusing. - Yeah. It's all, like, complicated.
- This video is over my head. - Yeah. It's under my butt.
I don't like videos that suck.
Yeah, me too.
- What is this commercial for? - This is that deodorant commercial.
- Yeah, that's 'cause this guy stinks. - Yeah, and he sucks too.
Hey Butt-Head, isn't this dude
- on some soap opera? - Yeah.
He is on "As The World Sucks".
This video should have a warning label.
"Parental advisory: what you're about to see sucks".
Yeah, yeah. It sucks.
Let's see if we can find a video that, like, doesn't suck.
That's pretty cool, Beavis. You should be one of those synthesizers.
Yeah, yeah... yeah.
- Whoa, it's that Paul Shaffer dude. - Yeah, smash him!
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Yes! - Harder! Harder!
Check it out, they punch the guy, then they bring in the dancing chicks.
Yeah, yeah.
- Interrogation is cool. - I didn't know you know these big words.
I do when the words are cool. Like "diarrhoea".
And "asphyxiation".
Yeah, and "seminiferous tubule".
Whoa.
- That was pretty cool, Beavis. - Yeah.
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