1 00:00:00,516 --> 00:00:03,509 BABY MAKES UH, THREE 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:11,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:16,271 --> 00:00:18,715 - Fix the picture, dude. - I'm trying. 4 00:00:21,962 --> 00:00:24,030 Come on, dude, we're missing it. 5 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:26,945 Got it. 6 00:00:26,969 --> 00:00:31,222 - You're doing great, honey. - Come on, one more big push. 7 00:00:39,446 --> 00:00:41,814 I love you so much, honey. 8 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:51,291 Hey Butt-Head, the TV is out of focus. 9 00:00:51,648 --> 00:00:54,239 Focus, focus, ass wipe. 10 00:00:55,834 --> 00:01:00,497 - What's Bono's problem? - Yeah, what's Boner's problem? 11 00:01:03,127 --> 00:01:05,121 Black and white sucks. 12 00:01:07,841 --> 00:01:12,636 - Whoa! That's a big dog! - That's a buffalo, dumbass. 13 00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:16,253 They should shoot it. 14 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,079 That would be cool. 15 00:01:19,103 --> 00:01:22,597 Yeah, like that movie "Dancing With Wolves". 16 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,552 Ahni. 17 00:01:37,253 --> 00:01:38,515 Weehee. 18 00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,052 Ogee. 19 00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:41,682 Oohni. 20 00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,480 Oohni. 21 00:01:45,154 --> 00:01:49,432 - Is this, like, a quiz? - This is like school. 22 00:01:51,387 --> 00:01:53,832 Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up. 23 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,291 Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up. 24 00:01:58,019 --> 00:02:01,085 That's not funny. Dumbass. 25 00:02:05,632 --> 00:02:07,239 Is this art? 26 00:02:09,244 --> 00:02:10,856 This means something. 27 00:02:12,051 --> 00:02:15,286 Yeah, it means something stupid. 28 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,009 Joey Buttafuoco. 29 00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:38,421 You said "Buttafuoco". 30 00:02:39,755 --> 00:02:44,018 Hey Beavis, what do you think "Buttafuoco" means? 31 00:02:50,427 --> 00:02:52,305 He said "back door". 32 00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:00,058 Dude looks like a lady. 33 00:03:05,763 --> 00:03:08,753 This is the coolest video I've ever seen in my life. 34 00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:27,870 Cool! 35 00:03:39,295 --> 00:03:43,587 Beavis, I thought you were daddy's little cutie. 36 00:03:44,405 --> 00:03:46,160 Shut up, bunghole! 37 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,275 Yes! 38 00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:07,165 Check it out, she is pissed. She hates it. 39 00:04:17,873 --> 00:04:21,184 Everybody thinks babies are cute. Cute! 40 00:04:21,377 --> 00:04:25,367 Well, they are not so damn cute when they are yours. I tell you that right now. 41 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,690 Crapping and puking all over you. 42 00:04:27,714 --> 00:04:31,178 They cost a damn fortune to feed and clothe and all they end up doing is 43 00:04:31,202 --> 00:04:35,087 making you miserable, like you people are doing to your parents right now! 44 00:04:35,094 --> 00:04:37,894 It's time that you teen pregnancy candidates 45 00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:40,330 learn a thing or two about responsibility. 46 00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:43,391 Does anybody know what this is? 47 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,232 Half his wife's butt? 48 00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:51,453 It is a baby. And everybody is getting one. 49 00:04:51,477 --> 00:04:55,034 I have divided the class into male/female pairs. 50 00:04:55,058 --> 00:04:59,634 And every couple gets one of these for a week of nurturing and cooperation. 51 00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:02,496 Everywhere you go you take it with you. 52 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,629 If you can not take it with you, you arrange for a sitter. 53 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,311 Is that clear!? 54 00:05:07,893 --> 00:05:10,815 Mr. Buzzcut? Mr. Buzzcut? 55 00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,284 Yes, Butt-Head. 56 00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:16,326 I can't do the assignment. I'm diatetic. 57 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:24,930 I'm sure you mean diabetic, Butt-Head. And you will do this assignment. 58 00:05:24,954 --> 00:05:28,084 Each couple keeps a journal of its activities with the baby. 59 00:05:28,105 --> 00:05:30,142 Any gaps - you fail. 60 00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:34,857 Any mistakes - you fail. Any damage to the baby - you fail. 61 00:05:34,881 --> 00:05:37,979 And if you fail this project, you fail the course, 62 00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:42,373 because having a child is a pass/ fail situation, people. 63 00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:45,483 There's the list of partners, find yours and get a baby. 64 00:05:45,507 --> 00:05:47,150 Is that clear? 65 00:05:48,538 --> 00:05:50,529 Hey, it says my partner is Butt-Head. 66 00:05:50,553 --> 00:05:53,487 Yes, I making an exception in your case. 67 00:05:53,511 --> 00:05:55,061 All right! 68 00:05:57,381 --> 00:06:01,597 Every girl in the class asked me privately not to be paired with either of you. 69 00:06:01,621 --> 00:06:03,921 So, I thought this was the best solution. 70 00:06:03,945 --> 00:06:08,504 Besides, with homosexual couples increasingly adopting babies, 71 00:06:08,528 --> 00:06:11,528 this will making our situation even more realistic. 72 00:06:11,974 --> 00:06:14,120 Do you find that amusing, Butt-Head? 73 00:06:14,977 --> 00:06:16,572 One week from today. 74 00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:21,465 We all meet back here with our sugar babies and our journals. Is that clear? 75 00:06:22,194 --> 00:06:24,700 Good luck and good parenting, people. 76 00:06:28,064 --> 00:06:30,929 I don't know how to take care of a baby. What do you do? 77 00:06:31,327 --> 00:06:33,365 Hey, let's give it a bath. 78 00:06:37,143 --> 00:06:40,861 I'm gonna slap you around like a redheaded stepchild. 79 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,212 You drowned it, dude. 80 00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:51,558 We'll never get to see it grow up. 81 00:07:03,372 --> 00:07:06,617 - Aerobics suck. - Yeah. 82 00:07:11,011 --> 00:07:13,014 What the hell is this crap? 83 00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:19,529 This sucks. 84 00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:28,539 - It's "Curly" from the Three Stooges. - Yeah. 85 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:38,479 Hey Beavis, check this out: "somewhere that he never should have been". 86 00:07:38,503 --> 00:07:41,968 - He looks like a zombie. - Yeah. 87 00:07:45,821 --> 00:07:49,014 "Thunder rolls". 88 00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:54,761 What ever happened to country songs about whiskey drinking and butt kicking? 89 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:59,922 Yeah. They should have, like, Ice Cube come out and start kicking this guy. 90 00:08:00,155 --> 00:08:04,267 Yeah. Then this video would be cool. 91 00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:11,770 Whoa! Come on, show it! 92 00:08:12,817 --> 00:08:15,557 This sucks, they never show the good stuff. 93 00:08:16,269 --> 00:08:18,188 I hate sitcoms. 94 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:26,325 "And so, it is with utmost regret, 95 00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:30,992 that I must report that our baby was stolen by gypsies in the night". 96 00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:34,514 Yeah. Sorry about that. 97 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:40,355 And it is with equal regret that I must report that you boys both fail! 98 00:08:40,379 --> 00:08:44,173 Not only fail, but fail more miserably than any student 99 00:08:44,197 --> 00:08:46,397 I have ever had the misfortune to teach! 100 00:08:54,571 --> 00:08:57,465 What the hell. It was fine this morning. 101 00:08:57,713 --> 00:08:59,963 Damn catalytic converter. 102 00:09:00,828 --> 00:09:03,129 What is your major malfunction!? 103 00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:04,903 Why are you sputtering? 104 00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,068 What's that noise? 105 00:09:22,941 --> 00:09:25,588 Is this like that movie, Beyond Superdome? 106 00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:29,367 Yeah, that was cool. 107 00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:36,599 How come all these videos have cages in them? 108 00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:38,708 Because they're cool. 109 00:09:46,665 --> 00:09:50,209 This is like a zoo. Where they keep cool people. 110 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,360 Yeah. 111 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:06,555 Hey Beavis, do you have a Nine Inch Nail? 112 00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:24,736 This is pretty cool. 113 00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:29,035 Yeah, nails are cool. 114 00:10:35,015 --> 00:10:37,206 That guy is pulling his rope. 114 00:10:38,305 --> 00:11:38,571 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org