1
00:00:05,532 --> 00:00:06,866
HOLT: Lastly, on a personal note,
2
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:09,784
as many of you know, Kevin
and I have recently reconciled.
3
00:00:09,868 --> 00:00:11,870
Noice. Somebody's getting some.
4
00:00:11,954 --> 00:00:14,122
It's true. I am.
Now, when we originally wed,
5
00:00:14,206 --> 00:00:15,956
we didn't know how long
gay marriage would be legal,
6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,833
so we had a somewhat rushed ceremony.
7
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:19,251
Do you, Kevin… Yes.
8
00:00:19,335 --> 00:00:22,003
And do you… Yes, yes, we do!
We're married.
9
00:00:22,087 --> 00:00:25,965
Kevin has always regretted it, so
we're having a vow renewal ceremony.
10
00:00:26,049 --> 00:00:28,422
This time, we're
pulling out all the stops.
11
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,677
It will be a truly extravagant affair.
12
00:00:30,761 --> 00:00:33,512
Oh, how extravagant are we talking?
Champagne pyramid?
13
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:35,431
Destination wedding? Celebrity officiant?
14
00:00:35,515 --> 00:00:36,665
We got the salad forks.
15
00:00:37,183 --> 00:00:40,894
Can you believe it, a second fork?
Who do we think we are? [LAUGHS]
16
00:00:41,979 --> 00:00:44,230
Oh, no.
You're shocked at how garish it is.
17
00:00:44,314 --> 00:00:46,940
Now I don't even wanna tell you the
other surprise I have in store for Kevin.
18
00:00:47,024 --> 00:00:48,734
Wait, let me guess.
You're getting bread plates?
19
00:00:48,818 --> 00:00:52,237
Don't be absurd. We're not crazy.
No, the big surprise is…
20
00:00:53,155 --> 00:00:55,615
I'm retiring from the NYPD.
21
00:00:55,699 --> 00:00:58,200
Wait… What?
22
00:00:58,284 --> 00:01:00,535
Why did you lead with the salad forks?
23
00:01:00,619 --> 00:01:02,621
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
24
00:01:20,636 --> 00:01:22,303
You're leaving the NYPD?
25
00:01:22,387 --> 00:01:24,137
My preoccupation with
my job has been a point
26
00:01:24,221 --> 00:01:25,973
of contention with
Kevin for some time now.
27
00:01:26,057 --> 00:01:28,433
I wanna show him that
our relationship comes first.
28
00:01:28,517 --> 00:01:30,769
But, sir, it's too
soon for you to retire.
29
00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:32,896
We didn't even get to do
one final cool case together.
30
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:34,188
The last thing we worked was finding
31
00:01:34,272 --> 00:01:35,481
that kid's missing mitten.
32
00:01:35,565 --> 00:01:36,982
I thought that was
rewarding and poignant.
33
00:01:37,066 --> 00:01:38,192
It was boring as crap!
34
00:01:38,276 --> 00:01:39,526
What were you hoping for otherwise?
35
00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:42,028
I'm so glad you asked.
We hunt down a serial killer,
36
00:01:42,112 --> 00:01:44,030
stare death in the face,
and then in the final battle,
37
00:01:44,114 --> 00:01:45,781
you save my life and I say to you,
38
00:01:45,865 --> 00:01:48,534
"How can I ever repay you?" And you say,
39
00:01:48,618 --> 00:01:49,660
"You already have."
40
00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:51,036
Then you jump on your motorcycle,
41
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,537
drive off, never to be seen again.
42
00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:56,571
I don't have a motorcycle, but Kevin and
I did just purchase recumbent bicycles.
43
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,834
[BLEEP] you, Captain Holt. Anyway,
44
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:01,670
I already have a cool final
case that I'm working on.
45
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:04,004
The police reform
proposal that Santiago and I
46
00:02:04,088 --> 00:02:05,840
have been toiling over
for these past six months
47
00:02:05,924 --> 00:02:07,425
Oh, my God, I didn't
even think about Amy.
48
00:02:07,509 --> 00:02:08,634
She's gonna be devastated.
49
00:02:08,718 --> 00:02:10,885
Which is why I made sure
she wasn't here when I told you.
50
00:02:10,969 --> 00:02:13,972
I need Santiago
laser-focused on this proposal.
51
00:02:14,056 --> 00:02:15,723
We can tell her after
we turn the report in.
52
00:02:15,807 --> 00:02:17,766
Hopefully, you can keep the
news to yourselves for now.
53
00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:19,601
Sir, she's my wife. I can't lie to her.
54
00:02:19,685 --> 00:02:22,937
What about that time you spent $1
,000 on a Patrick Ewing Top Shot?
55
00:02:23,021 --> 00:02:25,022
That wasn't a lie.
I just didn't tell her.
56
00:02:25,106 --> 00:02:26,774
But she's gonna be happy about it,
57
00:02:26,858 --> 00:02:30,110
because that Top Shot is currently worth…
Oh, no.
58
00:02:30,694 --> 00:02:32,946
I will keep your secret for $992.
59
00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:34,730
Deal. Great! Let's lie to my wife.
60
00:02:37,909 --> 00:02:40,452
Ah, hello.
Thank you for coming early to help out.
61
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:43,288
There's a lot to do since we
decided to go so over-the-top.
62
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,822
I mean, look at the napkins.
We're going with a pretty whimsical fold.
63
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:48,542
Lengthwise.
64
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,335
That is… Funny.
65
00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:52,962
The intent was whimsy, not humor.
66
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,797
Now you have me doubting everything.
Where's… where's Raymond?
67
00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:55,923
PERALTA: You know what? I'll go find him.
68
00:02:56,007 --> 00:02:57,341
I got something I wanna ask him anyway.
69
00:02:57,425 --> 00:02:59,468
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
70
00:03:00,427 --> 00:03:01,762
There you are. Why are you hiding?
71
00:03:01,846 --> 00:03:03,430
Oh, I was just looking at pornography.
72
00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:05,973
I felt an urgent need to
watch some men taking a bath.
73
00:03:06,057 --> 00:03:07,392
What?
74
00:03:08,017 --> 00:03:10,143
Okay, fine, you caught me.
I was checking my email.
75
00:03:10,227 --> 00:03:12,353
And that's worse than watching porn?
Much worse.
76
00:03:12,437 --> 00:03:14,814
Kevin can't know I'm
working on our special day.
77
00:03:14,898 --> 00:03:18,066
But I just received an email from
my contact at One Police Plaza
78
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:19,485
about our reform proposal.
79
00:03:19,569 --> 00:03:20,861
Ah, yeah, speaking of that,
80
00:03:20,945 --> 00:03:23,654
now that the report is done, can
you please tell Amy you're retiring?
81
00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:24,739
I don't like lying to her.
82
00:03:24,823 --> 00:03:25,907
So then you told her about the Top Shot?
83
00:03:25,991 --> 00:03:28,742
I didn't need to because I
traded it for an investment
84
00:03:28,826 --> 00:03:31,620
in The Rock's new cryptocurrency,
which is currently worth…
85
00:03:31,704 --> 00:03:33,538
Oh, no, what happened to RockCoin?
86
00:03:33,622 --> 00:03:35,289
We can't tell her. Things aren't settled.
87
00:03:35,373 --> 00:03:38,834
The brass is having a closed-door
meeting today about our reform proposal,
88
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:42,420
but apparently, the union is gonna
claim that we fudged our numbers.
89
00:03:42,504 --> 00:03:45,298
That's crazy. Amy would never
fudge numbers. She loves numbers.
90
00:03:45,382 --> 00:03:47,883
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Sometimes
I think she loves them more than me.
91
00:03:47,967 --> 00:03:49,384
Stupid numbers, think they're so great.
92
00:03:49,468 --> 00:03:50,803
I'd love to see numbers give you a baby.
93
00:03:50,887 --> 00:03:53,304
I'm gonna check those
CompStat numbers right now.
94
00:03:53,388 --> 00:03:55,264
I'm just gonna click on
this video link entitled,
95
00:03:55,348 --> 00:03:57,891
"Handyman fixes squeaky
door, [BLEEP] customer."
96
00:03:57,975 --> 00:03:59,476
Oh, my God.
97
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:00,852
What? This isn't correct.
98
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,437
Somebody changed these since last night.
99
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:04,021
Wait…
100
00:04:04,105 --> 00:04:05,815
I bet O'Sullivan hacked into the system.
101
00:04:05,899 --> 00:04:07,066
Do you know what this means?
102
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:08,609
They're trying to kill police reform!
103
00:04:08,693 --> 00:04:10,151
Jake and Holt have a final case.
Yep. Mm-hmm.
104
00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:11,861
Two equally important sets of stakes.
105
00:04:11,945 --> 00:04:13,363
He claims you messed with the numbers?
106
00:04:13,447 --> 00:04:14,572
That son of a bitch!
107
00:04:14,656 --> 00:04:17,366
I would never fabricate numbers.
I love numbers.
108
00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,159
Numbers can't be a
father to your child, Amy.
109
00:04:19,243 --> 00:04:20,953
-So what are we gonna do?
-PERALTA: I have a plan.
110
00:04:21,037 --> 00:04:26,207
We can prove that O'Sullivan changed
the CompStat numbers if we find this.
111
00:04:26,291 --> 00:04:27,916
DIAZ: What is that, a bed?
No, that's a cheese grater.
112
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,418
It's his computer. Obviously, I
should have had Terry do the drawings.
113
00:04:30,502 --> 00:04:32,879
Fortunately, I know how to
find his personal computer
114
00:04:32,963 --> 00:04:34,839
thanks to his YouTube
rants about the NHL.
115
00:04:34,923 --> 00:04:36,215
O'SULLIVAN [ON PHONE]:
This is "Islanders Talk,"
116
00:04:36,299 --> 00:04:38,968
and today's topic.
Can hockey have female fans?
117
00:04:39,052 --> 00:04:40,677
Yeah, he's not a good person.
118
00:04:40,761 --> 00:04:43,888
Anyway, those videos are taken in
the "man cave" in O'Sullivan's basement,
119
00:04:43,972 --> 00:04:45,348
so that's gotta be where his laptop is
120
00:04:45,432 --> 00:04:47,766
Holt and I will be infiltrating
his house and retrieving it.
121
00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:49,393
How are you gonna get past him?
He won't be home.
122
00:04:49,477 --> 00:04:51,478
We're gonna lure him out
using his one weakness.
123
00:04:51,562 --> 00:04:53,688
Rare Billy Joel memorabilia sale?
124
00:04:53,772 --> 00:04:55,982
Oh, that's nice, dear. Ah.
125
00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:59,150
O'Sullivan will meet with an
ex-roadie named Geronimo Rodriguez,
126
00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:01,236
who will actually be an
undercover Terry Jeffords,
127
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,863
our resident Billy Joel superfan.
128
00:05:02,947 --> 00:05:04,280
It was one time!
129
00:05:04,364 --> 00:05:06,782
You caught me lip-synching
to Uptown Girl one time.
130
00:05:06,866 --> 00:05:08,492
Nope, he's your favorite
singer, everybody knows it.
131
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:11,369
And you're the only one
O'Sullivan hasn't interacted with.
132
00:05:11,453 --> 00:05:13,496
If he stumps you,
Santiago will be nearby,
133
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,331
feeding you Billy Joel
facts into your ear.
134
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:18,166
You guys need to keep him busy and
then use a piece of fake memorabilia
135
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,127
to get a fingerprint we
can use to unlock his laptop.
136
00:05:20,211 --> 00:05:22,128
What am I doing?
You, Charles, and Scully will be here,
137
00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:24,088
distracting Kevin and making
sure he doesn't know Holt's working.
138
00:05:24,172 --> 00:05:25,798
And, uh, who will be on Cheddar duty?
139
00:05:25,882 --> 00:05:27,884
I mean, can't we just
distract him with a bone?
140
00:05:27,968 --> 00:05:28,968
Bone?
141
00:05:29,551 --> 00:05:30,927
-Bone?
-[SOFTLY] Yeah.
142
00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:32,429
[YELLING] Bone?
143
00:05:32,513 --> 00:05:35,139
Cheddar's not some street rat.
This is never gonna work.
144
00:05:35,223 --> 00:05:36,932
Yes, it will. Just give me 90 minutes,
145
00:05:37,016 --> 00:05:38,893
and I promise I will get you
back in time for your vows.
146
00:05:38,977 --> 00:05:42,228
Fine, but if there are any
complications, I pull the plug.
147
00:05:42,312 --> 00:05:46,064
The ceremony is too important.
Kevin cannot find out what we're up to.
148
00:05:46,148 --> 00:05:47,774
He won't. I promise.
149
00:05:47,858 --> 00:05:49,276
KEVIN: Raymond?
150
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,569
What are you all doing in here?
151
00:05:50,653 --> 00:05:53,070
Um… Peralta's watching porn. What?
152
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,989
What? Peralta's watching a handyman
153
00:05:55,073 --> 00:05:58,116
repair a squeaky door and
then [BLEEP] his customer.
154
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,618
Is that true, Jake?
155
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,497
[SOFTLY] Yes.
156
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,082
I wish I could say I was surprised.
157
00:06:10,335 --> 00:06:12,713
Told you it was a great cover.
Not for me!
158
00:06:14,381 --> 00:06:17,925
Okay, if we wanna get past O'Sullivan's
ma, we need undercover personas.
159
00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:20,177
I'm thinking you will be Maxwell Maxwell,
160
00:06:20,261 --> 00:06:22,345
international playboy
and black ops specialist.
161
00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:26,223
He'd had affairs on every continent,
but his true mistress is danger.
162
00:06:26,307 --> 00:06:28,767
I thought you learned your lesson
about turning police work into movies.
163
00:06:28,851 --> 00:06:30,727
Yeah, I did, but this is
a movie about reform.
164
00:06:30,811 --> 00:06:31,978
I mean, isn't that a
movie you'd wanna see?
165
00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:34,521
The only movie I wanna see
is called The World of Mosses.
166
00:06:34,605 --> 00:06:36,941
It's a documentary about
the world of mosses.
167
00:06:37,025 --> 00:06:38,025
It sounds bad.
168
00:06:38,109 --> 00:06:40,985
Now, we will go in dressed as gas
company employees named Mitch and Henry.
169
00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:42,862
Ugh. At least tell me I'm Henry.
170
00:06:42,946 --> 00:06:45,156
Hello, ma'am. We're from the gas company.
171
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,782
My name is…
172
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:49,534
Mitch.
173
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:53,829
Okay, this is how we'll get O'Sullivan's
print. Fast-drying dental resin.
174
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,791
O'Sullivan touches this, leaves
an imprint, and we have a mold,
175
00:06:56,875 --> 00:07:01,294
which we use to make a fake finger
that will fool 99% of biometric scanners.
176
00:07:01,378 --> 00:07:02,545
Pretty sweet, right?
177
00:07:02,629 --> 00:07:04,421
I gotta say, I thought Holt retiring
178
00:07:04,505 --> 00:07:06,882
would crush your mood, but it hasn't.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
179
00:07:06,966 --> 00:07:09,302
Wait. Holt's retiring?
180
00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:10,885
You knew that.
181
00:07:10,969 --> 00:07:13,596
He said he would tell you when
you handed in your reform proposal,
182
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,264
and you handed it in, and he told you.
183
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,557
No, he didn't.
184
00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:22,104
Okay, well, then I just told you.
But you're still taking it well.
185
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,441
-Amy?
-[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
186
00:07:26,941 --> 00:07:30,444
O'Sullivan just texted.
He'll be here in three. You gotta hide!
187
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:32,570
Um…
188
00:07:32,654 --> 00:07:35,782
I'm just gonna pick you up and
carry you like furniture, okay?
189
00:07:40,368 --> 00:07:42,120
Look alive. Kevin's on your six.
190
00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:43,997
-Do you know where Raymond is?
-SCULLY: Yes, I do.
191
00:07:44,081 --> 00:07:45,665
He's, um…
192
00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:47,082
Come on, Scully. Think of something.
193
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,251
Think of something. What does that mean?
194
00:07:51,045 --> 00:07:54,005
Cheddar did it. Cheddar, I know you
wanted us to go with the other vase.
195
00:07:54,089 --> 00:07:56,549
I have a different aesthetic
sense than you, and it's my day.
196
00:07:56,633 --> 00:07:59,083
Sorry you had to witness that.
I will get a broom.
197
00:07:59,259 --> 00:08:00,427
Scully, tail him.
198
00:08:00,886 --> 00:08:02,345
Well, that should
keep him busy for a bit.
199
00:08:02,429 --> 00:08:05,305
That was smart, but I don't think we
should mess with Cheddar too much.
200
00:08:05,389 --> 00:08:07,975
Why not? He's an animal.
Animals can be very vengeful, Rosa.
201
00:08:08,059 --> 00:08:10,977
Is this about Lieutenant… Of course
it's about Lieutenant Peanut Butter!
202
00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:12,854
So here's the shutoff to the main line.
203
00:08:12,938 --> 00:08:14,288
Thank you very much, ma'am.
204
00:08:15,732 --> 00:08:18,108
Okay, to get into the basement,
we're gonna have to distract her,
205
00:08:18,192 --> 00:08:19,359
so here's what I'm thinking.
206
00:08:19,443 --> 00:08:21,486
Maxwell Maxwell turns on the charm.
207
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:24,278
Unbutton your jumper
and say, "The thing about
208
00:08:24,362 --> 00:08:27,033
gas lines is, the
pressure builds and builds
209
00:08:27,117 --> 00:08:30,285
"and it just needs a little… release."
210
00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:31,494
[MOANS]
211
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,872
You don't have to make that sound,
but if I were you, I definitely would.
212
00:08:33,956 --> 00:08:36,957
No one will be talking about release
or making the sound of a rodent in labor.
213
00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:38,542
It was a sensuous moan, but fair enough.
214
00:08:38,626 --> 00:08:40,710
We just have to get the laptop
so I can get back to Kevin.
215
00:08:40,794 --> 00:08:42,795
You will simply approach her and say…
216
00:08:42,879 --> 00:08:45,048
Ma'am, I need to check your
water heater in the basement
217
00:08:45,132 --> 00:08:47,549
to make sure there's no leaks
or blockages to the gas line.
218
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:50,886
You should maybe come back later when
my son is home. He's better at this stuff.
219
00:08:50,970 --> 00:08:52,220
Oh, it's just a quick check.
220
00:08:52,304 --> 00:08:53,555
The answer is no.
221
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:55,348
Sorry about him.
222
00:08:56,224 --> 00:08:57,600
He's a little abrasive.
223
00:08:57,684 --> 00:09:01,102
The name is Maxwell… Maxwell.
224
00:09:01,186 --> 00:09:02,187
Carol.
225
00:09:02,271 --> 00:09:04,147
You see, the thing about gas lines is,
226
00:09:04,231 --> 00:09:07,566
-the pressure just builds and builds.
-[MOUTHING]
227
00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:11,110
Sometimes… it just needs a little
228
00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:12,779
-release.
-[MOUTHING]
229
00:09:12,863 --> 00:09:15,490
[HOLT MOANS]
230
00:09:15,574 --> 00:09:19,785
Well, we wouldn't want that. You can
go down to the basement now, Mitch.
231
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:21,369
Yeah, sounds good. Have fun, you two.
232
00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:23,153
TERRY: Amy, look alive. He's here.
233
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,165
You the guy selling the memorabilia?
Oh, yeah.
234
00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:28,500
Where did you get this stuff?
I used to haul amps for him.
235
00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:29,626
Yeah? Which tours?
236
00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:31,503
The, uh… You know…
237
00:09:31,587 --> 00:09:33,588
Oh, Terry, I'm not ready to say goodbye.
238
00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:36,131
I'm Not Ready to Say Goodbye tour.
239
00:09:36,215 --> 00:09:37,508
Never heard of that one. You haven't?
240
00:09:37,592 --> 00:09:41,010
That's weird.
Maybe you just weren't paying attention.
241
00:09:41,094 --> 00:09:43,179
Sorry. I'm on Billy Joel's wiki now.
242
00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:45,348
I've done other tours too, like, uh…
243
00:09:45,432 --> 00:09:48,141
Innocent Man and The Bridge.
244
00:09:48,225 --> 00:09:50,060
Okay. What's in the box? Phew.
245
00:09:50,144 --> 00:09:54,939
An early draft of the lyrics
to We Didn't Start the Fire.
246
00:09:55,023 --> 00:10:00,276
"Eisenhower, vaccine, side
salad, mixed greens." What is this?
247
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,237
Well, I guess, while
he was writing the song,
248
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:04,947
he must have accidentally
included his lunch order.
249
00:10:05,031 --> 00:10:07,908
Anyway, that's 10K. Ugh…
250
00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:09,576
What's the sticky stuff? Yes.
251
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:11,619
I grabbed that out of the
trash in his dressing room.
252
00:10:11,703 --> 00:10:13,663
It must be gum. Look, I'm so sorry.
253
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,581
Just let me have that back. Uh-uh.
254
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:20,210
Not so fast. This has been
in William Martin Joel's mouth.
255
00:10:20,294 --> 00:10:22,337
His tongue touched this.
256
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:23,571
Wait. What's happening?
257
00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:26,257
What's this, now? That is $10,000.
258
00:10:26,341 --> 00:10:27,466
And I'm keeping the gum.
259
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:29,217
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
260
00:10:29,301 --> 00:10:33,513
[SCOFFS] A grown adult with a man cave.
This is so embarrassing.
261
00:10:33,597 --> 00:10:35,430
Oh, my God, he has root beer on tap!
262
00:10:35,514 --> 00:10:37,391
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
263
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:45,731
Okay, everything is all…
What am I looking at?
264
00:10:45,815 --> 00:10:49,901
Your friend here was very
clumsy and he spilled on himself.
265
00:10:49,985 --> 00:10:51,778
Well, we got everything we needed,
266
00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:54,738
but I can wait if Maxwell
needs a little more time to dry off.
267
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:58,242
No, no, no, I'm all dry now.
We can leave.
268
00:10:58,326 --> 00:10:59,784
Oh, wait, let me give you my number.
269
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:03,621
I only have the landline, so if my
son, Frankie, answers, hang up.
270
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,247
He gets a little jealous.
271
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,623
Not to worry Miss O'Sullivan.
272
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,876
Maxwell Maxwell is
nothing if not discreet.
273
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,503
Not discreet enough.
274
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:13,546
Okay look, I don't know
what kind of freaky stuff
275
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:15,799
you guys are into,
but I want no part of it.
276
00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:20,760
Let's just try to stay calm.
I think you're making a big mistake here.
277
00:11:20,844 --> 00:11:23,596
No I'm not. He called me Miss O'Sullivan.
278
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,472
That was my name three marriages ago.
279
00:11:25,556 --> 00:11:26,974
I'm Carol Shaughnessy now.
280
00:11:27,058 --> 00:11:29,142
If he's calling me Miss O'Sullivan,
281
00:11:29,226 --> 00:11:30,852
it's 'cause he knows who my son is
282
00:11:30,936 --> 00:11:32,770
and you're up to something.
283
00:11:32,854 --> 00:11:34,606
Carol, baby.
284
00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:36,940
Don't "baby" me.
Get down in the basement.
285
00:11:37,024 --> 00:11:38,609
Well, I always like going down.
286
00:11:38,693 --> 00:11:40,527
I said, move. I'm calling my son.
287
00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:42,011
Feel like she considered it.
288
00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:44,197
We're locked in.
289
00:11:44,281 --> 00:11:45,948
If she gets in touch
with O'Sullivan, it's over.
290
00:11:46,032 --> 00:11:47,908
Wait.
She said she doesn't have a cellphone.
291
00:11:47,992 --> 00:11:49,451
That means if we can tie up her landline,
292
00:11:49,535 --> 00:11:50,744
she can't call anyone.
293
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,581
Hey! What did you do with the phone?
294
00:11:55,873 --> 00:11:57,923
Smart. But we're still trapped down here.
295
00:11:58,876 --> 00:12:01,003
Does that smile mean you know a way out?
296
00:12:01,128 --> 00:12:04,130
Oh, no. I was just thinking about how you
were about to hook up with that old lady.
297
00:12:04,214 --> 00:12:05,214
[CHUCKLES]
298
00:12:05,298 --> 00:12:06,798
[CLEARS THROAT] But no,
yeah, we're totally screwed.
299
00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:08,301
[BARKING]
300
00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:10,885
That's odd. He only barks like that
when he's worried about Raymond.
301
00:12:10,969 --> 00:12:12,178
Oh, Cheddar is not worried about Holt.
302
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:14,305
I saw him eat a shrimp
off a platter earlier.
303
00:12:14,389 --> 00:12:15,389
I bet he just wants more.
304
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,015
Hmm.
Cheddar doesn't usually indulge in shrimp.
305
00:12:17,099 --> 00:12:18,183
He considers it bougie.
306
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:21,767
Speaking of indulging, the gray
boutonniere should have arrived by now.
307
00:12:21,937 --> 00:12:23,021
Oh, Lord.
308
00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:25,857
See. Cheddar almost blew our cover.
309
00:12:25,982 --> 00:12:27,066
I told you not to mess with him.
310
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:29,400
Charles, he smelled food
and he wanted to eat it.
311
00:12:29,484 --> 00:12:30,818
He's a dog, not a super-villain.
312
00:12:30,902 --> 00:12:32,904
I don't know.
He's really staring you down right now.
313
00:12:32,988 --> 00:12:34,338
Oh, yeah? Watch this. Yeah.
314
00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:37,950
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
315
00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:44,122
[DOG WHIMPERING]
316
00:12:44,789 --> 00:12:45,957
Sucker.
317
00:12:46,291 --> 00:12:47,832
Wait, wait, I want that back.
318
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:49,376
I was only selling the lyrics.
319
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,962
If I knew about the gum, I
would have charged you more.
320
00:12:52,046 --> 00:12:53,212
Ah, a bunch of bunk.
321
00:12:53,296 --> 00:12:56,048
You set a price, I hit the bid.
End of story.
322
00:12:56,132 --> 00:12:59,300
Terry, if we don't get that fingerprint,
we won't be able to open his laptop
323
00:12:59,384 --> 00:13:00,843
and they'll kill our reform program.
324
00:13:00,927 --> 00:13:03,554
Please… I really need that gum.
325
00:13:03,638 --> 00:13:06,473
You beg all you want. A deal is a deal.
326
00:13:06,557 --> 00:13:08,309
Oh, God. It's all falling apart.
327
00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:11,143
Everything good in my life… Look.
You don't understand how special this is.
328
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:12,645
…happened when he showed up.
You don't deserve to have this…
329
00:13:12,729 --> 00:13:14,355
Jake is only the mostly mature man
330
00:13:14,439 --> 00:13:17,065
that he is because of Holt, so…
331
00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:18,400
So no, no, no
332
00:13:18,484 --> 00:13:20,026
our son will grow up in a broken home.
333
00:13:20,110 --> 00:13:21,695
Oh, my God, enough!
334
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,821
You need to move on.
335
00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:24,947
BOTH: Are you talking to me?
336
00:13:25,031 --> 00:13:26,366
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
337
00:13:26,866 --> 00:13:28,951
You need to move on.
338
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,326
From Captain Holt? From Billy Joel?
339
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:33,746
It's not healthy to have your
entire identity wrapped up
340
00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,123
in another person.
341
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,332
BOTH: I know but…
342
00:13:36,457 --> 00:13:37,624
Raymond Holt taught me everything.
343
00:13:37,708 --> 00:13:38,750
Billy Joel taught me everything.
344
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:40,252
Look what it's doing to you.
345
00:13:40,544 --> 00:13:42,545
Just look at yourself right now.
346
00:13:42,629 --> 00:13:44,672
I guess I am kind of
messing up this mission.
347
00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:46,173
I could use the money for the bank
348
00:13:46,257 --> 00:13:47,907
so they don't take my ma's house.
349
00:13:48,509 --> 00:13:49,509
Thank you, Terry.
350
00:13:49,593 --> 00:13:52,096
Thank you… Geronimo Rodriguez.
351
00:13:52,971 --> 00:13:55,514
All right, look, all's not lost.
I have the laptop.
352
00:13:55,598 --> 00:13:57,266
We just need to get in touch
with someone from the Nine-Nine
353
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:58,350
so they can get us out of here.
354
00:13:58,434 --> 00:13:59,809
Give me your phone.
I left it back at the venue,
355
00:13:59,893 --> 00:14:01,686
so Kevin couldn't track
it and know I was gone.
356
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:02,937
Use yours. Mine's dead.
357
00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:04,897
I used up all the battery
mining for MetsCoin.
358
00:14:04,981 --> 00:14:07,441
It's the first cryptocurrency
that is also the Mets.
359
00:14:07,525 --> 00:14:08,942
I don't know what
I'm doing in this space.
360
00:14:09,026 --> 00:14:10,402
Use the landline. Call Santiago.
361
00:14:10,486 --> 00:14:11,778
Great idea. Okay.
362
00:14:13,696 --> 00:14:16,240
Just one problem.
I don't know her number.
363
00:14:16,324 --> 00:14:18,408
How could you not know
your own wife's phone number?
364
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:19,784
It's saved in my phone.
365
00:14:19,868 --> 00:14:21,328
Stupid smartphones, making me so dumb
366
00:14:21,412 --> 00:14:22,829
by giving me the world's
knowledge at my fingertips.
367
00:14:22,913 --> 00:14:24,788
Well, I don't know anyone's
phone number either.
368
00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:26,874
Except for Kevin's and
obviously we can't call him.
369
00:14:26,958 --> 00:14:28,500
How do you not know
a single phone number?
370
00:14:28,584 --> 00:14:30,209
I've literally watched
you memorize the entire
371
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:31,878
terms and conditions
agreement for a credit card.
372
00:14:31,962 --> 00:14:33,838
True. But to make room for
important information like that,
373
00:14:33,922 --> 00:14:36,757
I regularly purge my
brain of useless facts
374
00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:38,967
like phone numbers or the
names of people's children.
375
00:14:39,051 --> 00:14:42,345
But you know the name of my son, right?
376
00:14:43,346 --> 00:14:45,196
The little guy has his mother's eyes.
377
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,115
Rough night with the little guy?
378
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:50,352
Oh. Hello there, the little guy.
379
00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:52,145
How did I never see that?
380
00:14:52,229 --> 00:14:53,354
Am I a bad detective?
381
00:14:53,438 --> 00:14:54,521
We don't have time to go into that.
382
00:14:54,605 --> 00:14:56,815
It would've been much faster
to just say, "No, you're great'."
383
00:14:56,899 --> 00:14:58,067
What are we gonna do?
384
00:14:58,151 --> 00:15:00,151
All right. Look, there's one number I
still have memorized that could help.
385
00:15:00,235 --> 00:15:01,861
My middle school friend
Mikey J's old landline.
386
00:15:01,945 --> 00:15:04,405
Do you have any reason to believe
that Mikey J still resides there?
387
00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:06,281
Well, we were in a ska
band together in high school
388
00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:08,065
so I'm thinking the odds are good.
389
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,286
Okay. Here's your resin, do your magic.
390
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,537
You're not gonna scold me
for almost ruining the mission?
391
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,916
No, Amy. I get it.
But look, you don't need Holt to succeed.
392
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,251
You are the most capable person I know.
393
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:23,130
Thanks, Terry.
Now let's get this mold to Jake and Holt.
394
00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:25,672
What are you doing?
I thought you could carry me again.
395
00:15:25,756 --> 00:15:26,965
It was very comforting.
396
00:15:27,049 --> 00:15:28,176
Okay.
397
00:15:29,509 --> 00:15:31,260
Thank you, Terry. I love you.
398
00:15:31,344 --> 00:15:33,388
Have you seen Cheddar?
The officiant is wondering
399
00:15:33,472 --> 00:15:34,472
how he'd like to be introduced.
400
00:15:34,556 --> 00:15:36,640
No. I haven't seen him.
401
00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:37,849
Cheddar.
402
00:15:37,933 --> 00:15:40,519
I have a bad feeling about this.
Cheddar is up to something.
403
00:15:40,603 --> 00:15:41,603
Come on.
404
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:44,355
[CHEDDAR BARKING]
405
00:15:44,647 --> 00:15:46,357
-Oh, no!
-KEVIN: Cheddar.
406
00:15:46,441 --> 00:15:48,025
Oh, hi, Kevin. I found Cheddar.
407
00:15:48,442 --> 00:15:51,487
Oh, my God. Raymond is on a case.
408
00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:57,867
You sick son of a bitch.
409
00:16:00,577 --> 00:16:03,727
[SCOFFS] Come on, Mrs. Joseph.
I was at your house all the time.
410
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,832
Remember? You caught us wearing your
bra so we could practice unclasping them?
411
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,709
Hello? Hello?
412
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:11,877
What? You have no idea
what it's like taking bras off.
413
00:16:11,961 --> 00:16:13,671
You had it so easy growing up gay.
414
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,131
The ceremony is about to start
415
00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:17,133
and O'Sullivan is about to
come home and catch us.
416
00:16:17,217 --> 00:16:19,801
It seems the reform proposal
is as dead as my marriage.
417
00:16:19,885 --> 00:16:21,678
I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
418
00:16:21,803 --> 00:16:24,096
I was so desperate for us to
have one last cool case together
419
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:25,806
that I forced you into this.
420
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:29,809
No, Jake. The truth is, I enjoyed it.
421
00:16:30,477 --> 00:16:33,104
I had fun being Maxwell Maxwell.
422
00:16:33,188 --> 00:16:34,897
Yes. I knew it was a good idea.
423
00:16:34,981 --> 00:16:36,022
But I hate myself for it.
424
00:16:36,106 --> 00:16:37,232
Damn it. I interjected too soon.
425
00:16:37,316 --> 00:16:40,652
That makes me scared
that I'm not ready to retire.
426
00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:42,403
No matter how much I want to.
427
00:16:42,487 --> 00:16:43,612
For Kevin's sake.
428
00:16:43,696 --> 00:16:47,575
I mean, clearly, there's a part of
me that still wants to work cases.
429
00:16:49,284 --> 00:16:50,535
What if I'm making the wrong choice?
430
00:16:50,619 --> 00:16:52,662
It's completely understandable
that you feel that way.
431
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,496
You've devoted your whole life to this.
432
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,030
It's who you are.
But you're also Kevin's husband.
433
00:16:57,542 --> 00:16:59,293
What would you do? [SCOFFS]
434
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,545
I'm not sure.
435
00:17:02,128 --> 00:17:05,881
But I know that when things are
hard, I talk them through with Amy.
436
00:17:06,632 --> 00:17:08,717
And just being with her,
looking into her eyes,
437
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:12,554
everything that seems so
complicated becomes simple.
438
00:17:13,638 --> 00:17:16,224
And then, I just know.
439
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:18,391
[DOOR CLOSES]
440
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:20,977
What's that? It's O'Sullivan.
He's coming home.
441
00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:23,188
MAN: NYPD. Step away from that door.
442
00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:24,981
Wait. That voice.
443
00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:29,901
Neighbors reported seeing two
men enter from an unmarked van.
444
00:17:29,985 --> 00:17:31,695
Then heard yelling.
445
00:17:31,861 --> 00:17:33,863
There's been a misunderstanding, Officer.
446
00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:35,739
You are under arrest, punk.
447
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:38,366
You jags are so screwed.
448
00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:39,900
[WHISPERING] I love your hat.
449
00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:41,911
Kevin, I'm sorry.
450
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:44,079
I will never forgive
myself for working today.
451
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:48,166
I want you to know that this will be
my last assignment for the NYPD.
452
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:51,336
I'm retiring.
That seems like an extreme reaction.
453
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,254
No. I want this. For us.
454
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:57,300
That's not for us.
I never wanted you to give up your career.
455
00:17:57,842 --> 00:17:59,150
Putting our relationship
first doesn't mean
456
00:17:59,234 --> 00:18:00,593
you can't have
anything else in your life.
457
00:18:00,677 --> 00:18:03,554
It just means prioritizing
me over stupid little stuff.
458
00:18:03,638 --> 00:18:05,515
Like returning lost mittens to dumb kids.
459
00:18:05,599 --> 00:18:07,140
No. That actually sounds quite rewarding.
460
00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:10,227
Really?
This reform program is not a little thing.
461
00:18:10,311 --> 00:18:12,686
It could fundamentally change the police.
462
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:15,920
I just wish you had told me so
I could've helped from the start.
463
00:18:16,149 --> 00:18:19,109
I'm so sorry. Apology accepted.
464
00:18:19,943 --> 00:18:22,529
Now, let's get that laptop
to One Police Plaza.
465
00:18:22,988 --> 00:18:26,156
No. There's something I need to do first.
466
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:30,493
We're gathered here to affirm the
marriage of Raymond Holt and Kevin Cozner.
467
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,869
We don't have to do this.
468
00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:34,580
Everyone who's not family has
already gone home and we need to hurry.
469
00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:36,165
No. This is important.
470
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,750
Kevin Cozner.
471
00:18:39,209 --> 00:18:42,503
When we first got married, I thought
of it primarily as a legal contract
472
00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:47,091
which is why I memorized the
entire Federal Tax Code 301.7701 -18.
473
00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:48,675
Definitions pertaining to marriage.
474
00:18:48,759 --> 00:18:50,719
And yet he can't remember Mac's name.
475
00:18:50,844 --> 00:18:53,680
But I finally learned
what marriage really is.
476
00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:56,181
It's not something you can memorize
477
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:58,475
or an equation you can solve for.
478
00:18:58,559 --> 00:18:59,601
It's the feeling you get
479
00:18:59,685 --> 00:19:01,727
when you look in your partner's eyes,
480
00:19:01,811 --> 00:19:04,522
and that feeling is all that matters.
481
00:19:06,357 --> 00:19:08,817
Which is why I will now purge
482
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:13,320
tax code 301.7701 -18 from my memory
483
00:19:13,404 --> 00:19:15,197
so that I will now have room
484
00:19:15,281 --> 00:19:17,659
to remember this moment forever.
485
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,956
It's done. Oh, baby.
486
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:30,001
Raymond Holt, do you promise
to continue to live in this marriage
487
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,962
for richer, for poorer through
sickness and in health,
488
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,797
as long as you two both shall live?
489
00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:36,256
I do. And Kevin…
490
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:38,890
Yes, yes, we're still married.
We really have to go.
491
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:47,349
I've just come back from One Police
Plaza, and I have some good news.
492
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,267
The union voted and O'Sullivan is out?
493
00:19:49,351 --> 00:19:52,270
No. He was re-elected for life, which
I didn't think was technically possible.
494
00:19:52,354 --> 00:19:53,396
But the good news is,
495
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,689
the Commissioner has approved
our police reform program
496
00:19:55,773 --> 00:19:57,566
and we will be implementing it city-wide.
497
00:19:57,650 --> 00:20:00,067
City-wide? That's amazing.
498
00:20:00,151 --> 00:20:02,486
HOLT: Yes. I know it is exciting.
499
00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:04,905
But there's no
guarantee that it will work.
500
00:20:04,989 --> 00:20:06,948
There's a lot of resistance to change.
501
00:20:07,032 --> 00:20:09,618
Nevertheless, it's our duty to try.
502
00:20:09,702 --> 00:20:12,912
Because if we don't,
then we are truly lost.
503
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,165
Which is why I will not be retiring.
504
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,334
I have been appointed Deputy
Commissioner of Police Reform.
505
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,544
Wow! Congratulations, sir.
506
00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:25,213
Thank you. And since I don't want work
to consume my life, and this is a big job,
507
00:20:25,297 --> 00:20:26,506
so I will need some help
508
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,508
which is why I like to
bring you along, Santiago,
509
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:31,886
with a well-deserved promotion to Chief.
510
00:20:32,429 --> 00:20:34,079
If you're interested. Wait. What?
511
00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:35,681
I'm gonna be a Chief?
512
00:20:35,765 --> 00:20:38,350
Terry, you might wanna step aside
'cause there's a dork dance a-coming.
513
00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:42,770
[EXCLAIMS] Yes! Gonna be a Chief.
514
00:20:42,854 --> 00:20:44,004
We share a marital bed.
515
00:20:46,441 --> 00:20:48,984
[SIGHS] He's down. Good.
516
00:20:49,568 --> 00:20:52,154
So, what do you think about this new job?
517
00:20:52,487 --> 00:20:53,571
I think you gotta take it.
518
00:20:53,655 --> 00:20:56,198
I mean, first of all, it's a huge
promotion. So, cha-ching.
519
00:20:56,282 --> 00:20:57,699
But more importantly,
520
00:20:57,783 --> 00:21:00,368
it's the culmination
of all your hard work
521
00:21:00,452 --> 00:21:02,202
and a chance to make a real impact.
522
00:21:03,079 --> 00:21:06,415
And also, cha-ching.
What's with all the cha-chings?
523
00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:08,041
Oh, no. You bought something dumb.
524
00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:09,376
No.
525
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:10,877
I invested in something dumb.
526
00:21:10,961 --> 00:21:13,754
It's an NFT of Michelangelo
from the Ninja Turtles eating pizza.
527
00:21:13,838 --> 00:21:16,090
But not to worry.
Because it's currently worth…
528
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,341
Oh, no. What happened to TurtleBucks?
529
00:21:18,675 --> 00:21:20,218
Jake, I'm serious.
530
00:21:20,302 --> 00:21:23,137
I don't know if I can do this
job and still be an equal parent.
531
00:21:23,221 --> 00:21:25,847
I mean, who's gonna pick
up Mac on the odd days
532
00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:27,891
and who's gonna bathe
him on the even days
533
00:21:27,975 --> 00:21:29,976
and who's gonna do the cooking
and who's gonna figure out…
534
00:21:30,060 --> 00:21:32,060
Ames, we will figure all that stuff out.
535
00:21:32,479 --> 00:21:34,022
How can you be so sure?
536
00:21:35,356 --> 00:21:36,356
I just know.