1
00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:09,702
Good morning, Cousin Tommy. I love you.
2
00:00:09,786 --> 00:00:11,914
Good morning, Cousin Mel. I love you.
3
00:00:14,125 --> 00:00:16,294
Good morning, Cousin Sam. I love you.
4
00:00:17,087 --> 00:00:19,674
Good morning, Cousin Tommy. I love you.
5
00:00:21,218 --> 00:00:23,720
Good morning, Cousin Becca. I love you.
6
00:00:23,804 --> 00:00:26,975
Good morning, Cousin Sam. I love you.
7
00:00:28,561 --> 00:00:31,272
Good morning, Pappy Boyle. I love you.
8
00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:33,985
Good morning, Becca. I love you.
9
00:00:35,319 --> 00:00:37,697
Ooh, extra-long hug.
10
00:00:37,781 --> 00:00:40,201
What got into you this morning, Pappy?
11
00:00:42,454 --> 00:00:43,456
Pappy?
12
00:00:45,708 --> 00:00:46,877
Pappy!
13
00:00:47,711 --> 00:00:49,964
[SCREAMING]
14
00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:52,758
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
15
00:01:10,782 --> 00:01:11,950
Oh, Charles.
16
00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:13,786
I'm so sorry about
your great-uncle Pappy.
17
00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,622
You holding up okay? I've been managing.
18
00:01:15,706 --> 00:01:16,874
Mmm… Have you though?
19
00:01:17,082 --> 00:01:18,375
BOYLE: Number two, step up.
20
00:01:18,459 --> 00:01:20,128
Say, "Charles, it's Pappy.
I'll always love you."
21
00:01:20,212 --> 00:01:21,254
MAN: Okay. Uh,
22
00:01:21,379 --> 00:01:23,424
"Charles, it's Pappy.
I'll always love you."
23
00:01:23,508 --> 00:01:25,177
Then why did you leave me?
24
00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:27,137
Anyway, thanks for coming
with me to the funeral.
25
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,305
I think we're all packed.
26
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:29,432
I just got to go grab the coffin.
27
00:01:29,516 --> 00:01:31,016
Wait, why are you bringing the coffin?
28
00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:33,437
I brought a coffin to my
nana's funeral on a whim,
29
00:01:33,521 --> 00:01:36,566
and it was a big hit.
So now, guess who's the coffin cousin?
30
00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:37,650
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
31
00:01:37,734 --> 00:01:39,778
Got to say, Terry, I'm a little
surprised you're coming to this.
32
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:41,281
Honestly, I need a break from the kids.
33
00:01:41,365 --> 00:01:43,199
Cagney and Lacey keep trying to trick me
34
00:01:43,283 --> 00:01:44,827
into falling down the stairs on TikTok.
35
00:01:44,911 --> 00:01:46,561
Terry can't sprain another ankle.
36
00:01:46,663 --> 00:01:48,331
Well, I, for one, am pumped to be going.
37
00:01:48,415 --> 00:01:49,749
To a funeral? I'm so bored, Terry.
38
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,461
I've been suspended for 87 days.
39
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,045
Mac gets dropped off at day care,
40
00:01:53,129 --> 00:01:55,007
and I just sit at home
playing Animal Crossing.
41
00:01:55,091 --> 00:01:56,758
But no one will buy my bugs or fossils.
42
00:01:56,842 --> 00:01:58,761
I'm desperate for some
normal human interaction.
43
00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:00,097
BOYLE: Coffin delivery!
44
00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:03,184
Okay, fine.
It doesn't have to be normal or human.
45
00:02:03,268 --> 00:02:04,568
Any interaction will work.
46
00:02:04,812 --> 00:02:06,271
Yo. You forgot your lunch.
47
00:02:06,355 --> 00:02:07,607
HOLT: Oh. Thank you, Diaz.
48
00:02:07,691 --> 00:02:09,525
Sir, I didn't realize you
were still staying at Rosa's.
49
00:02:09,609 --> 00:02:11,278
I thought couple's
counseling was going well.
50
00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:12,779
Not anymore. At Kevin's request,
51
00:02:12,863 --> 00:02:15,116
I offered to reduce my work hours by 26%.
52
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,452
Kevin countered with 50
53
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,661
which I countered with 30.
54
00:02:17,745 --> 00:02:18,746
Then Kevin says 40…
55
00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:20,457
Seems like a lot of math for therapy.
56
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,958
That's what Dr. Cheryl said.
57
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,629
Anyway, Kevin refuses to budge from 36%.
58
00:02:24,713 --> 00:02:27,007
And I'm starting to worry
that I might lose to him.
59
00:02:27,091 --> 00:02:28,091
You mean lose him.
60
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:29,511
No. Lose to him.
61
00:02:29,595 --> 00:02:31,554
Therapy is a chess match.
62
00:02:31,638 --> 00:02:33,724
And I will prevail.
63
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:36,603
Or it's about saving your marriage.
64
00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:38,898
You should make a grand romantic gesture.
65
00:02:38,982 --> 00:02:40,024
Ugh, so dumb.
66
00:02:40,108 --> 00:02:41,150
Seriously? From the woman
67
00:02:41,234 --> 00:02:42,653
who loves Nancy Meyers movies?
68
00:02:42,737 --> 00:02:44,238
Yeah. Here's what I've learned as a PI.
69
00:02:44,322 --> 00:02:46,574
People suck, everyone
cheats, and love is an illusion.
70
00:02:46,658 --> 00:02:48,494
Nancy Meyers is a fool,
and Holt should start dating.
71
00:02:48,578 --> 00:02:49,620
-BOTH: What?
-You heard me.
72
00:02:49,704 --> 00:02:51,540
It's the only way you're
gonna beat Kevin.
73
00:02:51,624 --> 00:02:54,042
I'm thinking about it.
I'm considering it,
74
00:02:54,126 --> 00:02:56,171
and I've decided.
75
00:02:56,755 --> 00:02:57,881
I'm in. [GASPS]
76
00:02:58,215 --> 00:03:00,676
Here it is. Pappy Boyle's farm.
77
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,971
I spent every summer here as a kid.
78
00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:04,723
Got to say, it's nicer
than I was expecting.
79
00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:05,933
Pappy did well for himself.
80
00:03:06,017 --> 00:03:07,351
You know, he went to
business school in New York.
81
00:03:07,435 --> 00:03:08,603
He got a job in Wall Street.
82
00:03:08,687 --> 00:03:10,689
And one day his hand got
caught in a subway door.
83
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,984
And he was dragged from
Times Square into Queens.
84
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,611
Largest settlement in city history.
85
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,782
[EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST] Pappy
should've used that cash on pest control.
86
00:03:17,866 --> 00:03:19,325
There's giant rats everywhere.
87
00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:21,870
Those are nutria, Terry.
They're nothing like rats.
88
00:03:21,954 --> 00:03:23,038
They have meatier haunches,
89
00:03:23,122 --> 00:03:24,416
and their teeth are more orange.
90
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:26,418
You know, nutria are actually great pets.
91
00:03:26,502 --> 00:03:27,712
They're affectionate and smart.
92
00:03:27,796 --> 00:03:29,088
They know how to open doors.
93
00:03:29,172 --> 00:03:30,173
Plus, you can milk them.
94
00:03:30,257 --> 00:03:31,925
But… Should you?
95
00:03:32,009 --> 00:03:34,012
Pappy drank nutria milk,
and he was fit as a fiddle.
96
00:03:34,096 --> 00:03:35,263
Anyway, you got to see the house.
97
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,647
I can't wait to show you
the rug I was born on.
98
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:39,894
Sure it's been cleaned since then.
99
00:03:39,978 --> 00:03:41,938
Charles Boyle, I love you.
100
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,025
Sam Boyle, I love you.
101
00:03:44,109 --> 00:03:45,568
[BOTH EXCLAIMING]
102
00:03:50,617 --> 00:03:51,784
Where's that dead body?
103
00:03:51,868 --> 00:03:53,954
He's in the barn, and he looks adorable.
104
00:03:54,038 --> 00:03:56,124
Ah, terrific.
And everything's set for the funeral?
105
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,919
There's one little issue.
We can't find Pappy's will.
106
00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:00,212
What? He wanted to leave the farm
107
00:04:00,296 --> 00:04:02,633
to the Council of Cousins,
but if we don't find those papers,
108
00:04:02,717 --> 00:04:04,051
it goes to Cousin Lyndon.
109
00:04:04,135 --> 00:04:05,678
Oh, no. Who's Cousin Lyndon?
110
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:07,805
Pappy's son.
He's the black sheep of the family.
111
00:04:07,889 --> 00:04:09,683
Wait, so we have a wealthy patriarch
112
00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:11,978
who mysteriously died, a missing will,
113
00:04:12,062 --> 00:04:14,189
and a black sheep set
to inherit everything?
114
00:04:14,273 --> 00:04:15,775
Am I the only one who
suspects foul play here?
115
00:04:15,859 --> 00:04:18,487
He didn't die mysteriously. He was 93.
116
00:04:18,571 --> 00:04:19,988
He was fit as fiddle, Terr.
117
00:04:20,072 --> 00:04:21,114
From all the nutria milk.
118
00:04:21,198 --> 00:04:23,534
Don't be ridiculous.
No Boyle would ever commit murder.
119
00:04:23,618 --> 00:04:25,162
Boyles don't even get mad at each other.
120
00:04:25,246 --> 00:04:27,999
Except in that rare instance
of cousin-on-cousin jealousy.
121
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,709
You're just bored from your suspension
122
00:04:29,793 --> 00:04:31,128
and desperate to find a case to work.
123
00:04:31,212 --> 00:04:32,588
No. That's not it.
124
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:33,840
I'm just telling you,
125
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,676
something doesn't smell right here.
126
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,052
SAM: Oh, yeah. That's Pappy's body.
127
00:04:37,136 --> 00:04:38,986
Cousin Mel did the embalming in here,
128
00:04:39,139 --> 00:04:41,139
and I think she forgot to add something.
129
00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:43,853
Well, that's a disturbing revelation.
130
00:04:46,106 --> 00:04:47,483
Hey. What's going on?
131
00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:48,818
I'm helping Holt pick a dating site.
132
00:04:48,902 --> 00:04:51,154
Oh, this looks good. PhDs only.
133
00:04:51,238 --> 00:04:52,656
Uh, actually in this context,
134
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,784
PHD stands for Pretty Huge [BLEEP].
135
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:55,869
Oh, my.
136
00:04:56,453 --> 00:04:58,956
I can only assume that MDs
only stands for Medium [BLEEP].
137
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,208
Rosa, can I talk to you for a second?
138
00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:01,584
What the hell are you doing?
139
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,963
Why are you trying to get
Holt and Kevin to break up?
140
00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:05,840
I'm trying to get Holt
and Kevin back together.
141
00:05:05,924 --> 00:05:07,134
He and Kevin are perfect for each other.
142
00:05:07,218 --> 00:05:08,218
He just needs to realize that.
143
00:05:08,302 --> 00:05:10,096
Once he sees what
other trash is out there,
144
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,305
he's gonna go running straight back
145
00:05:11,389 --> 00:05:12,390
into Kevin's arms,
146
00:05:12,474 --> 00:05:14,143
just like in a Nancy Meyers movie.
147
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:15,436
So you still love Nancy Meyers?
148
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,230
I will never turn my
back on Nancy Meyers.
149
00:05:17,314 --> 00:05:18,524
Okay. I'm in.
150
00:05:19,024 --> 00:05:21,861
Let operation "Lucky Number Kevin" begin.
151
00:05:21,945 --> 00:05:23,530
I'm out. No, no, no.
We don't have to call it that.
152
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,033
Okay, then I think
I'll finish up by saying
153
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,327
Pappy Boyle was the best hugger.
154
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,664
Which is surprising because
he lost his hand in the subway.
155
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,084
But he always said,
156
00:05:32,417 --> 00:05:34,210
"You don't hug with your hands,
157
00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:35,544
"you hug with your heart.
158
00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:38,383
"And your groin."
He got that groin involved.
159
00:05:38,509 --> 00:05:40,969
Uh, a lot of groin talk for a eulogy.
160
00:05:41,053 --> 00:05:44,099
Everyone, there's something
you need to see in the barn.
161
00:05:44,266 --> 00:05:46,644
The game is afoot.
162
00:05:47,019 --> 00:05:49,731
Pappy Boyle was 93.
Who would've suspected
163
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,525
that his death stemmed
from anything other than
164
00:05:51,609 --> 00:05:53,068
the cruel embrace of Father Time?
165
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,613
To suggest as much might get someone
166
00:05:54,697 --> 00:05:56,240
labeled a crackpot, a kook,
167
00:05:56,365 --> 00:05:58,576
someone that's "bored
with their suspension."
168
00:05:58,660 --> 00:06:00,369
Can you cut the Harriet the Spy windup?
169
00:06:00,453 --> 00:06:01,497
It stinks in here.
170
00:06:01,581 --> 00:06:04,334
What you're smelling,
Terry, is duplicity and deceit.
171
00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:06,127
I think it's actually Pappy's organs.
172
00:06:06,211 --> 00:06:07,630
Sam, you're kind of messing
with my flow right now.
173
00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:09,715
Point is, I was examining the body,
174
00:06:09,799 --> 00:06:10,926
and I found something.
175
00:06:12,052 --> 00:06:14,556
Classic ulceration and
desquamation of the mouth.
176
00:06:14,931 --> 00:06:17,226
Telltale signs of poisoning.
177
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,352
[GASPS]
178
00:06:18,436 --> 00:06:19,729
In other words…
179
00:06:20,397 --> 00:06:22,690
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
What we have ourselves here
180
00:06:22,774 --> 00:06:25,778
is a good ol' fashioned murder…
181
00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:26,989
MAN: Oh, no.
182
00:06:27,698 --> 00:06:29,199
[NORMAL VOICE] …of a
man who you all loved dearly.
183
00:06:29,283 --> 00:06:31,433
I shouldn't have done
the Knives Out accent.
184
00:06:33,205 --> 00:06:35,499
All right. A man has been
poisoned, his will is missing,
185
00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:37,627
and there's only one
person who stands to profit.
186
00:06:37,711 --> 00:06:38,711
Lyndon Boyle.
187
00:06:38,795 --> 00:06:39,895
Lyndon's not a killer.
188
00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:42,592
I mean, he did skip a Boyle
family Zoom last summer.
189
00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,594
Yeah, it's true.
It's seven hours out of your day.
190
00:06:44,678 --> 00:06:45,805
How hard is that to fit in?
191
00:06:45,889 --> 00:06:47,939
Okay, let's set up an interrogation room.
192
00:06:48,099 --> 00:06:50,599
I wanna make this guy as
uncomfortable as possible.
193
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,314
[CHAIR CREAKING]
194
00:06:52,439 --> 00:06:53,690
[SOFTLY] I thought we
were going for uncomfortable.
195
00:06:53,774 --> 00:06:54,816
What's with the rocking chair?
196
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,900
It's a farm. All the chairs are rockers.
197
00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:59,120
But don't worry, I under-steeped the tea.
198
00:06:59,239 --> 00:07:00,866
Ugh. It's so weak.
199
00:07:01,617 --> 00:07:03,035
Why am I being treated like a criminal?
200
00:07:03,119 --> 00:07:04,161
Okay. I stand corrected.
201
00:07:04,245 --> 00:07:06,248
[CLEARS THROAT] We'd
like to ask you a few questions.
202
00:07:06,332 --> 00:07:08,125
Tell us about your last
contact with your father.
203
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,253
Pappy?
Well, I saw him at his birthday party.
204
00:07:10,337 --> 00:07:12,047
Mmm-hmm. And was there anything unusual
205
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,632
about that night? Nothing unusual at all.
206
00:07:13,716 --> 00:07:15,385
We ate a pig from snout to anus,
207
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,972
and then took turns giving
each other head massages.
208
00:07:18,056 --> 00:07:19,891
I was tired. So I found Pappy,
209
00:07:19,975 --> 00:07:21,375
wished him a happy birthday.
210
00:07:21,477 --> 00:07:22,769
We hugged for six minutes.
211
00:07:22,853 --> 00:07:25,148
It was the last time I saw him alive.
[CRYING]
212
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,027
Did you see those tears?
213
00:07:28,111 --> 00:07:29,820
No way he did it. Are you serious?
214
00:07:29,904 --> 00:07:31,239
Anyone can fake cry.
215
00:07:31,323 --> 00:07:32,741
You just have to think of something sad.
216
00:07:32,825 --> 00:07:34,577
Like that episode of
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
217
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:35,661
when Leonardo was in a coma.
218
00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:37,331
And that works? Yeah.
219
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,416
Yeah, it does.
220
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,501
Now, come on. Let's go poke some
221
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,837
holes in Lyndon's story.
222
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:45,132
It was such a great party.
Everyone had the best time.
223
00:07:45,216 --> 00:07:46,425
I mean, except for Lyndon.
224
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,261
Lyndon wasn't happy?
Yeah, it was strange.
225
00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:50,014
He was passing through the living room.
226
00:07:50,098 --> 00:07:52,142
I asked him if he wanted a little HJ.
227
00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:53,393
But he just ignored me.
228
00:07:53,477 --> 00:07:55,896
I mean, who doesn't want
an HJ from their cousin?
229
00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:57,230
JEFFORDS: Hold up. An HJ?
230
00:07:57,399 --> 00:07:59,026
A head job. A massage.
231
00:07:59,568 --> 00:08:00,611
Isn't that what everyone calls it?
232
00:08:00,695 --> 00:08:01,779
You bet. Absolutely not.
233
00:08:01,863 --> 00:08:03,573
Okay, so why was Lyndon angry?
234
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,867
I bet it was whatever Pappy said to him.
235
00:08:05,951 --> 00:08:07,078
Wait. What Pappy said when?
236
00:08:07,162 --> 00:08:08,287
When they were in Pappy's study.
237
00:08:08,371 --> 00:08:09,623
We heard raised voices.
238
00:08:09,707 --> 00:08:11,833
-And then Lyndon said…
-Good night.
239
00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,711
…walked out of the room, and
closed the door behind him.
240
00:08:13,795 --> 00:08:15,589
PERALTA: That's all he said?
"Good night"?
241
00:08:15,673 --> 00:08:16,883
Gentlemen…
242
00:08:17,508 --> 00:08:19,136
I just solved this case.
243
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,056
DIAZ: Sir, if you wanna
get a date off of these sites,
244
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,599
you're gonna have
to give me a little more
245
00:08:23,683 --> 00:08:24,809
from your profile photo.
246
00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,979
I just gave you a series of eight poses,
247
00:08:27,063 --> 00:08:30,483
each increasing in sexual
provocativeness by one-eighth.
248
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:32,569
If you wanted septiles or deciles
249
00:08:32,653 --> 00:08:34,321
of sexiness, you should've told me.
250
00:08:34,405 --> 00:08:35,407
[GROANS IN FRUSTRATION]
251
00:08:35,491 --> 00:08:37,117
What? Why do you care so much, Santiago?
252
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,536
I thought you didn't like
the idea of me dating.
253
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:39,912
Yes, initially.
254
00:08:39,996 --> 00:08:42,165
But then I thought about your metaphor
255
00:08:42,249 --> 00:08:44,084
about how relationships
are like a chess match.
256
00:08:44,168 --> 00:08:45,753
Mmm-hmm. And it really convinced me.
257
00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:46,921
That was a strong observation.
258
00:08:47,005 --> 00:08:50,050
So why don't you
think of this profile photo
259
00:08:50,134 --> 00:08:52,178
as an epic chess move?
260
00:08:52,262 --> 00:08:55,975
Like Vladimirov's Thunderbolt of 1987.
261
00:08:56,059 --> 00:08:57,436
Close the door, Diaz.
262
00:08:57,561 --> 00:09:00,022
I'm removing my collar stays.
263
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,567
Why am I back here? Like I told you,
264
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:03,944
it was a typical night.
265
00:09:04,028 --> 00:09:05,404
Right. Cousin kissing circle,
266
00:09:05,488 --> 00:09:06,780
everyone gets burped after dinner.
267
00:09:06,864 --> 00:09:09,159
Normal stuff.
But let's talk about what happened
268
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:10,619
after the burping, shall we?
269
00:09:10,703 --> 00:09:13,039
What are you getting at? What
exactly do you think happened that night?
270
00:09:13,123 --> 00:09:14,542
I'm so glad you asked.
271
00:09:14,834 --> 00:09:17,670
I think Pappy called you
into his study and told you
272
00:09:17,754 --> 00:09:19,213
he was cutting you out of his will.
273
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,091
Tempers flared. Voices were raised.
274
00:09:21,175 --> 00:09:22,217
What?
275
00:09:22,301 --> 00:09:23,762
PERALTA: You were furious
you wouldn't be inheriting the farm.
276
00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:24,971
I don't even want the farm.
277
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:26,599
I've always been more of a city boy.
278
00:09:26,683 --> 00:09:27,892
I live in Poughkeepsie.
279
00:09:27,976 --> 00:09:29,143
Well, I guess that settles it.
280
00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:30,563
[CHUCKLES]
281
00:09:30,813 --> 00:09:32,982
Except you didn't say I love you.
282
00:09:33,066 --> 00:09:34,859
Excuse me?
When you left, you said, "Good night."
283
00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:35,944
You didn't say, "I love you."
284
00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:37,863
Now, you may be a black
sheep, but you're still a Boyle.
285
00:09:37,947 --> 00:09:39,741
And a Boyle always says "I love you."
286
00:09:39,825 --> 00:09:42,411
Not always. Look around you.
It's written everywhere.
287
00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:44,414
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
288
00:09:45,290 --> 00:09:47,042
Okay, fine. We were fighting.
289
00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,126
But not over the will.
290
00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:49,212
Pappy was mad at me
291
00:09:49,296 --> 00:09:50,797
for missing that Zoom call this summer.
292
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,883
I mean honestly, Lyndon, what
did you expect would happen?
293
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,094
He said I was a disgrace
to the Boyle name.
294
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,471
So I didn't say, "I love you."
295
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,889
I just stormed out to the shed.
296
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,226
I went to get the Grandmother Dough.
297
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:01,603
The Grandmother Dough?
298
00:10:01,687 --> 00:10:03,647
Here it is. The original
299
00:10:03,731 --> 00:10:06,025
Boyle family sourdough starter.
300
00:10:06,109 --> 00:10:07,568
It's still good, but the lid on the jar
301
00:10:07,652 --> 00:10:08,904
has been stuck for over a hundred years.
302
00:10:08,988 --> 00:10:10,405
SAM: There's an old family legend
303
00:10:10,489 --> 00:10:12,034
that it can only be opened by
304
00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:14,411
the one true Boyle. Mmm-hmm.
305
00:10:14,495 --> 00:10:17,039
I wanted to show my dad that I
was not a disgrace to the family.
306
00:10:17,123 --> 00:10:18,166
But I couldn't budge it.
307
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,251
Maybe he was right.
308
00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:20,794
Oh, Lyndon. What a tale.
309
00:10:20,962 --> 00:10:23,673
But I don't think that's why
you came in this barn at all.
310
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:26,093
I think you came in here for this.
311
00:10:26,302 --> 00:10:27,303
Is that nutria poison?
312
00:10:27,387 --> 00:10:30,892
It's rat poison. Nutria are pets.
You psychopath.
313
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:32,852
Ah. Nitrobenzene.
314
00:10:33,019 --> 00:10:36,419
That causes the exact type of ulcers
we found in Pappy Boyle's mouth.
315
00:10:36,607 --> 00:10:39,361
And look what we have here.
316
00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:43,950
A single brown hair,
belonging to the murderer.
317
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:45,410
Terry, please send this off
318
00:10:45,494 --> 00:10:47,594
to the local police
station for a DNA test.
319
00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:50,709
Now all we need is one
of your hairs, Lyndon.
320
00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:53,129
I didn't kill my father.
Why am I being singled out?
321
00:10:53,213 --> 00:10:54,589
Why not take a hair from every Boyle
322
00:10:54,673 --> 00:10:56,425
so Cousin Lyndon doesn't feel that way?
323
00:10:56,509 --> 00:10:57,968
Sure, great idea. I'll go first.
324
00:10:58,052 --> 00:11:00,054
PERALTA: I mean it's more work
for the lab, but it's fine with me.
325
00:11:00,138 --> 00:11:01,688
Are you okay with that, Lyndon?
326
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,893
Oh, wow. Went with a nose hair.
327
00:11:03,977 --> 00:11:04,977
Didn't see that coming.
328
00:11:05,061 --> 00:11:06,813
But it's definitely long enough.
[CHUCKLES]
329
00:11:06,897 --> 00:11:08,023
No.
330
00:11:08,107 --> 00:11:09,692
Okay, sir. This app's pretty simple.
331
00:11:09,776 --> 00:11:11,527
If you don't like the guy's
profile, you click "dang,"
332
00:11:11,611 --> 00:11:13,113
and if you do, you click "daaang."
333
00:11:13,197 --> 00:11:14,406
That sounds needlessly confusing.
334
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:16,409
Why? "Dang" is bad and "daaang" is good?
335
00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:18,286
Okay, let's thin this herd.
336
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:20,372
Untucked shirt, no thank you.
337
00:11:20,456 --> 00:11:22,501
Born in San Diego, yikes.
338
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:24,044
An adult named Todd?
339
00:11:24,169 --> 00:11:26,548
So this is what online dating is like?
340
00:11:26,673 --> 00:11:27,673
I didn't realize.
341
00:11:27,757 --> 00:11:29,259
Realize how good you have it with Kevin?
342
00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:30,802
No, how it hasn't changed.
343
00:11:30,886 --> 00:11:32,847
You still have to pick
someone based on looks
344
00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:34,265
and hope for a connection later.
345
00:11:34,349 --> 00:11:36,394
Oh, Lord, help me. I'm going for it.
346
00:11:36,686 --> 00:11:39,314
I'm clicking "dang." No.
"Dang" is bad. Click "daaang."
347
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:40,941
Why is this so confusing?
348
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:42,652
How do I get Hot Todd back?
349
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,072
DNA results are in.
350
00:11:45,156 --> 00:11:46,407
Ooh, and? Who did it?
351
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:48,410
It was Lyndon, right? Hair is…
352
00:11:48,744 --> 00:11:50,161
"Rodent in origin."
353
00:11:50,245 --> 00:11:51,247
What? Doesn't make any sense.
354
00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:53,249
Here, forward it to me.
Must've been a nutria hair.
355
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:55,168
Those things are everywhere. Ugh.
356
00:11:55,252 --> 00:11:56,253
Wait a minute. This is weird.
357
00:11:56,337 --> 00:11:57,880
According to the DNA results,
358
00:11:57,964 --> 00:12:00,217
everyone in the Boyle
family is related except one.
359
00:12:00,301 --> 00:12:02,178
Lyndon? No. Charles.
360
00:12:03,346 --> 00:12:06,058
Charles Boyle isn't a Boyle.
361
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,231
That DNA test has to be wrong.
362
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:14,027
I mean, Charles is the most
Boyle-y of all the Boyles.
363
00:12:14,152 --> 00:12:15,736
You know what?
I'm gonna call Charles' dad,
364
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,120
get to the bottom of this.
365
00:12:18,074 --> 00:12:19,283
All right. Thanks, Lynn. Bye.
366
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:20,868
What on earth took so long?
367
00:12:20,952 --> 00:12:23,205
Well, the first five hours
was mostly just sobbing
368
00:12:23,289 --> 00:12:24,290
and gasping for air.
369
00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:26,876
Then he told me that
Charles' mom had an affair
370
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:27,961
with a rival florist.
371
00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:30,339
Lynn always suspected he
might've been Charles' dad,
372
00:12:30,423 --> 00:12:32,133
but he decided he loved
him so much, it didn't matter.
373
00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:35,178
I don't understand. Charles
looks just like all the other Boyles.
374
00:12:35,262 --> 00:12:36,472
Apparently that's not genetic.
375
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,224
The Boyles cuddle their children so much,
376
00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:39,393
it shapes their bones that way.
377
00:12:39,477 --> 00:12:41,687
He likened it to how they
grow square watermelons.
378
00:12:41,771 --> 00:12:44,107
Oh, my God. We can't tell Charles.
379
00:12:44,191 --> 00:12:45,735
You wanna lie to our dear friend
380
00:12:45,819 --> 00:12:47,445
about the one thing that's
most important to him
381
00:12:47,529 --> 00:12:48,614
in the whole world?
382
00:12:49,407 --> 00:12:50,699
Yes. Okay, good, me too.
383
00:12:50,908 --> 00:12:52,410
Now all we have to do is
prove that Cousin Lyndon
384
00:12:52,494 --> 00:12:55,122
is the murderer before Charles
asks about the DNA results.
385
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,582
Hi, guys. [GASPS LOUDLY]
386
00:12:56,749 --> 00:12:58,543
Hey, man. Where'd you come from?
387
00:12:58,627 --> 00:13:00,962
I slinked up.
You know how good Boyles are at slinking.
388
00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:02,590
It's because of our fleshy toe pads.
389
00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:04,467
Right. And you, Charles,
390
00:13:04,552 --> 00:13:06,429
have said fleshy toe pads
391
00:13:06,554 --> 00:13:07,930
because you are a Boyle,
392
00:13:08,014 --> 00:13:11,393
from snout to anus.
393
00:13:11,477 --> 00:13:12,770
That is so sweet.
394
00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:13,937
I'm stealing that for the eulogy.
395
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:15,190
You don't have to.
396
00:13:15,732 --> 00:13:18,027
Ah. It's the exact time we agreed to meet
397
00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:19,111
for our date, and he's not here.
398
00:13:19,195 --> 00:13:21,698
I'm sorry.
I know how you value punctuality.
399
00:13:21,782 --> 00:13:24,118
In my employees.
But in potential suitors,
400
00:13:24,202 --> 00:13:26,245
I don't mind one or two
minutes of tardiness.
401
00:13:26,329 --> 00:13:28,082
I like a bad boy.
402
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:29,166
Now, if you'll excuse me,
403
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,752
I'm going to go to the bathroom
404
00:13:30,836 --> 00:13:33,381
to wash my hands, in case we shake.
405
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,508
Ooh. [LAUGHS]
406
00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:37,969
[SIGHS IMPATIENTLY] I
thought the point was for Holt to bail
407
00:13:38,053 --> 00:13:39,137
before he got to an actual date.
408
00:13:39,221 --> 00:13:40,765
It is. But this works too.
409
00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:42,350
I mean, did you see the
dude he matched with?
410
00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:43,602
He calls himself a doctor,
411
00:13:43,686 --> 00:13:45,145
but he's actually a chiropractor.
412
00:13:45,229 --> 00:13:47,529
Are we sure Holt doesn't
respect chiropractors?
413
00:13:48,025 --> 00:13:49,903
[BOTH LAUGHING]
414
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:53,324
I'm kidding. Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT] There's Todd.
415
00:13:54,825 --> 00:13:55,993
DIAZ: And here's Holt.
416
00:13:56,077 --> 00:13:57,453
Started off strong, nice big smile.
417
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:58,538
Oh, not anymore.
418
00:13:58,622 --> 00:13:59,832
He just noticed Todd's loafers.
419
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,083
Oh, Todd, you fool.
420
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:03,586
Holt thinks any shoes
without laces are flip-flops.
421
00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:06,006
DIAZ: Now the moment that will
send Holt running toward the exit.
422
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,091
When he asks Todd
423
00:14:07,175 --> 00:14:08,175
what he would like to drink,
424
00:14:08,259 --> 00:14:10,011
Todd orders, "Whatever you're having."
425
00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:12,516
Oh Todd, you fool. Have your own opinion.
426
00:14:13,016 --> 00:14:15,144
Wait a second. Are they gonna sit down?
427
00:14:15,269 --> 00:14:17,604
In a booth? Oh, no, Rosa.
428
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:19,733
Todd's not the fool. We're the fools.
429
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,486
I have eyes on the package.
430
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,737
He's headed towards you.
431
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,823
I'm on it.
432
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:25,907
BOYLE: Seriously, guys,
why are we doing this?
433
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,659
We should just wait for the DNA test.
434
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:30,037
We will.
But the lab said it would take a week.
435
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:31,915
They had to get a new tech.
436
00:14:31,999 --> 00:14:33,041
Oh, no. Why?
437
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:37,338
Uh. The old one had a bad
allergic reaction to beakers.
438
00:14:37,422 --> 00:14:39,633
Ugh. Labs are full of them. That's awful.
439
00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:41,011
Yeah, and real.
440
00:14:41,095 --> 00:14:43,138
Anyways, since Lyndon
is our only actual suspect,
441
00:14:43,222 --> 00:14:44,390
we might as well investigate.
442
00:14:44,474 --> 00:14:46,142
Let me ask you this. Is he gushing?
443
00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:48,687
Don't say those words.
The pressure of keeping secrets
444
00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:50,230
makes Boyles stress-sweat.
445
00:14:50,314 --> 00:14:51,733
JEFFORDS: Wait.
He's leaving the property.
446
00:14:51,817 --> 00:14:54,195
Can you stay with him? Yeah. I think so.
447
00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:55,696
I just have to get around the barn and…
448
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:56,781
[SCREAMS]
449
00:14:56,865 --> 00:14:57,866
Terr-bear?
450
00:14:58,742 --> 00:15:00,495
I'm sorry. I was following Lyndon
451
00:15:00,579 --> 00:15:02,413
and I crawled into that thing.
452
00:15:02,497 --> 00:15:04,833
That thing has a name. It's Muffin.
453
00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:06,628
Well, thanks to Muffin, we lost Lyndon.
454
00:15:06,712 --> 00:15:09,506
Yes. But also thanks to Muffin,
455
00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:11,759
I just solved the case
of who killed Pappy Boyle.
456
00:15:11,843 --> 00:15:12,676
[RADIO FEEDBACK]
457
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:13,971
We're right here.
458
00:15:14,263 --> 00:15:16,213
Yeah. I didn't think it would feedback.
459
00:15:16,891 --> 00:15:18,935
SANTIAGO: Oh, no, Rosa.
They're leaving together.
460
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,020
What are we gonna do?
461
00:15:20,104 --> 00:15:22,272
We stop them.
Even if it means we have to kill Todd.
462
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,656
SANTIAGO: Smart. Let's go.
463
00:15:24,693 --> 00:15:25,694
Looking for someone?
464
00:15:25,778 --> 00:15:27,780
Sir. Uh, what's going on?
465
00:15:27,864 --> 00:15:30,534
What's going on is that you
were trying to manipulate me,
466
00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:32,620
but it is I who manipulated you.
467
00:15:32,704 --> 00:15:36,417
How does it feel to suckle
from your own tainted teat?
468
00:15:36,542 --> 00:15:38,586
Not as bad as it feels
to hear you say "suckle."
469
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:40,713
So you were never really
going home with Todd?
470
00:15:40,797 --> 00:15:43,509
You actually think I would
have relations with him?
471
00:15:43,593 --> 00:15:44,760
I really thought we had something.
472
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,638
Wake up, Todd. I'm out of your league.
473
00:15:46,722 --> 00:15:48,933
You thought you could
meddle in my personal life,
474
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,436
but I was ten moves ahead the whole time.
475
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,064
And now, checkmate.
476
00:15:53,189 --> 00:15:55,567
Ooh. I love chess.
Have you seen The Queen's Gambit?
477
00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:57,527
It's a TV show. Todd, I swear to God.
478
00:15:58,029 --> 00:16:00,656
The person who killed
Pappy wasn't a person at all.
479
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:01,741
It was Muffin.
480
00:16:01,825 --> 00:16:02,826
[ALL GASP]
481
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:05,413
I checked her mouth, and Muffin
had the same ulcers that Pappy had.
482
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:07,791
Muffin ate the poison, and
then Pappy drank her milk.
483
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,001
So Lyndon was innocent.
484
00:16:09,085 --> 00:16:10,962
The hair on the box
must have been Muffin's.
485
00:16:11,046 --> 00:16:12,463
Did you get the DNA report back?
486
00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:13,548
Exactly.
487
00:16:13,632 --> 00:16:14,633
BOYLE: Wait, but I
thought the report was gonna
488
00:16:14,717 --> 00:16:16,218
take a week because
of the lab tech's allergies.
489
00:16:16,302 --> 00:16:17,512
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
490
00:16:17,596 --> 00:16:19,222
But then they decided
to use a subcontractor
491
00:16:19,306 --> 00:16:20,933
who was allergy-free,
so let's just move on
492
00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:22,101
and talk about something
else immediately.
493
00:16:22,185 --> 00:16:24,885
Three "uh-huh's"?
Clearly you're lying about something.
494
00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:26,231
Why you being a jerk to me?
495
00:16:26,315 --> 00:16:27,317
Show me the report, Jake.
496
00:16:27,401 --> 00:16:29,277
Okay, fine.
But just look at the top result
497
00:16:29,361 --> 00:16:30,861
cause that's all that matters.
498
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:33,742
"Specimen hair was rodent in nature."
499
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:34,952
And that's that.
500
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,287
Oh, my God.
501
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,000
-I'm not a Boyle.
-[ALL GASP]
502
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:44,256
Okay. I love you too, Dad.
503
00:16:45,132 --> 00:16:46,300
Did you guys change clothes?
504
00:16:46,384 --> 00:16:47,968
Yeah, Charles. It's tomorrow now.
505
00:16:48,052 --> 00:16:49,638
You've been on the phone for 14 hours.
506
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:51,139
Well, you know what they say,
507
00:16:51,223 --> 00:16:53,643
"Time flies when God pulls down his pants
508
00:16:53,727 --> 00:16:55,269
"and takes a dump on your life."
509
00:16:55,353 --> 00:16:56,939
Oh, buddy. I'm so sorry.
510
00:16:57,189 --> 00:16:58,607
I just wanna go home.
511
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:01,027
What? You can't leave.
What about the eulogy?
512
00:17:01,111 --> 00:17:02,237
I don't feel right giving it now.
513
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,471
Sam offered to step in.
I'll have him do it.
514
00:17:04,949 --> 00:17:05,993
No, no, no. Wait.
515
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,411
Assemble the cousins.
516
00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:09,497
Last night we learned
that Pappy Boyle's death
517
00:17:09,581 --> 00:17:10,707
was not foul play.
518
00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:12,626
But even though there was no murder,
519
00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:13,919
there was a robbery.
520
00:17:14,086 --> 00:17:16,631
Charles had his sense
of self stolen from him
521
00:17:16,882 --> 00:17:17,883
by Sam Boyle.
522
00:17:18,009 --> 00:17:19,343
-[ALL GASP]
-You said it yourself, Charles,
523
00:17:19,427 --> 00:17:21,846
the Boyles have a long history
of cousin-on-cousin jealousy.
524
00:17:21,930 --> 00:17:24,642
Sam couldn't stand that you
were chosen to give the eulogy.
525
00:17:24,726 --> 00:17:25,726
Think about it.
526
00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:27,813
It was Sam who made sure
we knew the will was missing.
527
00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:30,315
We can't find Pappy's will.
528
00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:33,569
PERALTA: Then Sam again who
suggested you all get your DNA tested.
529
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,656
Why not take a hair from every Boyle?
530
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:38,493
PERALTA: And finally, Sam who
made sure we all knew the results.
531
00:17:38,577 --> 00:17:40,621
Did you get the DNA report back?
532
00:17:40,705 --> 00:17:42,915
This is ridiculous. I love Charles.
533
00:17:42,999 --> 00:17:45,460
Okay, well then. I'm sure you
wouldn't mind giving him a hug then.
534
00:17:45,544 --> 00:17:46,670
Since you love him so much.
535
00:17:46,754 --> 00:17:48,604
Sure. I always like to hug my cousin.
536
00:17:49,966 --> 00:17:51,009
MAN: He's gushing!
537
00:17:51,093 --> 00:17:52,512
-[ALL GASP]
-Darn it.
538
00:17:53,262 --> 00:17:54,305
I thought these would hide it,
539
00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:56,266
but I gushed through my pit diapers.
540
00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:59,061
All right, fine. I always suspected
541
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,272
that Charles wasn't one of us.
542
00:18:00,356 --> 00:18:02,357
I mean, he went through puberty at 13,
543
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:04,861
instead of 25, like a normal Boyle.
544
00:18:06,029 --> 00:18:08,115
And when he got
chosen to give the eulogy,
545
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:10,500
something inside of me snapped.
546
00:18:10,661 --> 00:18:11,787
So I hid the will.
547
00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:13,081
I admit it.
548
00:18:13,414 --> 00:18:14,415
Are you happy now?
549
00:18:14,499 --> 00:18:15,541
Very. Not at all.
550
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:17,419
Wait, what? Charles, we solved the case.
551
00:18:17,503 --> 00:18:19,005
He confessed. Doesn't matter.
552
00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:20,799
I'm still not a Boyle.
553
00:18:21,508 --> 00:18:23,261
I'm just a normal person.
554
00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:27,396
[VOICE BREAKS] Normal from snout to anus.
555
00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:30,936
-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-[RAIN PATTERING]
556
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,397
We wanted to apologize.
557
00:18:32,481 --> 00:18:35,318
And if you wanna gloat
about how you outsmarted us,
558
00:18:35,402 --> 00:18:36,861
go ahead. We deserve it.
559
00:18:36,945 --> 00:18:38,445
I won't be doing any gloating.
560
00:18:38,531 --> 00:18:40,824
I mean, I did last night.
I went home and had a drink
561
00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:42,660
to toast to your humiliation.
562
00:18:42,744 --> 00:18:43,912
But it didn't feel right,
563
00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:45,164
because I had no one to toast with,
564
00:18:45,248 --> 00:18:46,499
no one to share my glee.
565
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:50,421
I had won, but I was alone. [SIGHS]
566
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,591
And I realized,
567
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,094
this is exactly what I'm doing to Kevin.
568
00:18:55,595 --> 00:18:57,639
Trying to win therapy.
569
00:18:58,098 --> 00:18:59,099
And it hit me.
570
00:18:59,391 --> 00:19:01,102
I care so much about winning
571
00:19:03,062 --> 00:19:04,523
that I've lost everything.
572
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:08,184
Tell Kevin how you feel.
573
00:19:08,904 --> 00:19:11,281
It's raining. You could run to him.
574
00:19:11,365 --> 00:19:12,741
This is the real world, Santiago.
575
00:19:12,825 --> 00:19:15,225
Relationships end in
unsatisfying ways every day.
576
00:19:16,998 --> 00:19:18,874
People don't run to
each other in the rain.
577
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,211
KEVIN: Raymond! Raymond Holt!
578
00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:22,296
Kevin?
579
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:26,385
Raymond!
580
00:19:32,309 --> 00:19:34,020
Raymond, am I too late?
581
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,271
Too late?
582
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:36,857
My friend saw your dating profile
583
00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:38,741
and your photo without collar stays.
584
00:19:39,026 --> 00:19:40,403
I thought I'd lost you.
585
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,449
You will never lose me.
586
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:45,869
I'll do anything to keep you.
587
00:19:45,953 --> 00:19:48,037
I'll compromise on everything.
The work, the…
588
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,707
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
589
00:19:59,387 --> 00:20:01,055
Nancy Meyers never fails.
590
00:20:02,265 --> 00:20:04,601
Now that we're doing
it, it feels kinda weird
591
00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:06,812
to be staring at your
friends while they kiss.
592
00:20:06,896 --> 00:20:08,857
Are you kidding? It's beautiful.
593
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:12,696
I love you.
594
00:20:13,321 --> 00:20:14,490
I love you.
595
00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:18,301
Okay, I'm packed. Let's go home.
596
00:20:18,996 --> 00:20:21,707
Charles, I'm sorry.
I feel like this was all my fault.
597
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:23,292
Why? Did you inseminate my mother?
598
00:20:23,376 --> 00:20:24,419
What? Ew, no.
599
00:20:24,503 --> 00:20:26,838
Don't say ew.
She's my one blood relation.
600
00:20:26,922 --> 00:20:28,472
Remember, I'm not a real Boyle.
601
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,301
Okay, fine.
602
00:20:30,886 --> 00:20:31,887
Maybe you're not a real Boyle.
603
00:20:31,971 --> 00:20:33,890
But what if you're a true Boyle?
604
00:20:33,974 --> 00:20:36,936
What if you're the one true Boyle?
605
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,979
No, no.
You want me to open the Grandmother Dough.
606
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,190
That jar is stuck shut.
607
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:41,900
Nobody's ever been able to do it.
608
00:20:41,984 --> 00:20:43,110
But you have to try.
609
00:20:43,235 --> 00:20:44,446
Terry, go grab it.
610
00:20:45,613 --> 00:20:48,492
All right, now let's
reassemble those cousins.
611
00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:51,913
I'm not gonna be able to do this,
612
00:20:51,997 --> 00:20:53,374
and I'm gonna be even more humiliated.
613
00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:55,084
Just try. I believe in you.
614
00:20:57,713 --> 00:20:59,255
So did you loosen it?
615
00:20:59,339 --> 00:21:00,841
I tried, but it's slippery,
616
00:21:00,925 --> 00:21:02,134
and that thing is sealed on tight.
617
00:21:02,218 --> 00:21:03,846
I couldn't budge it. Oh, no.
618
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,555
Uh, hey, Charles.
619
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,392
Remember when I said
that I believed in you?
620
00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:09,353
Yes.
It's the entire reason I'm doing this.
621
00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:11,189
Oh. Godspeed.
622
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:12,691
[GRUNTING]
623
00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:14,350
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
624
00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:27,919
Ah! I did it!
625
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,379
He's the one true Boyle.
626
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,048
[ALL CHEERING]
627
00:21:32,175 --> 00:21:34,135
Oh, my God. What is that stench?
628
00:21:34,219 --> 00:21:35,637
It's the Grandmother Dough.
629
00:21:35,721 --> 00:21:36,763
It smells horrible.
630
00:21:36,847 --> 00:21:38,099
Not to a Boyle.
631
00:21:38,183 --> 00:21:39,267
-[SNIFFING]
-PERALTA: Oh, God.
632
00:21:39,351 --> 00:21:41,646
It's cutting through
the smell of the corpse.