1
00:00:07,499 --> 00:00:10,000
For most people, a
burrito is a delicious meal
2
00:00:10,084 --> 00:00:13,127
wrapped in a tortilla,
but for one NYPD officer,
3
00:00:13,211 --> 00:00:16,172
it turned out to be a mouse
wrapped in a nightmare.
4
00:00:16,256 --> 00:00:17,756
So I order a grande steak.
5
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,050
I get back to my car,
take a big bite, and crunch.
6
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That's when I see it, a dead mouse.
7
00:00:21,885 --> 00:00:23,719
A dead mouse that Frank O'Sullivan,
8
00:00:23,803 --> 00:00:25,220
the President of the Patrolman's Union,
9
00:00:25,304 --> 00:00:27,430
says was put there on purpose.
10
00:00:27,514 --> 00:00:29,766
This was an act of political violence
11
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organized by a group of radical anti-cop
12
00:00:32,642 --> 00:00:34,143
Antifa anarchists
13
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working out of The Burrito Haven.
14
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This is bogus.
15
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:40,564
The officer called in a to-go
order under the name Tom.
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00:00:40,648 --> 00:00:42,483
The restaurant had no idea he was a cop
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when they made the
food or packed the bag.
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So, clearly, he wasn't targeted
19
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,361
for "being a police officer."
20
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I've always wanted to try mouse meat.
21
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I hear it's really tasty. From who?
22
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The union made it up as a power move.
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O'Sullivan wants me to issue
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00:00:54,658 --> 00:00:56,908
a statement of public
support for the officer,
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to give them all extra hazard pay
26
00:00:58,787 --> 00:01:01,287
and to wear this "Never
Forget Burrito" ribbon.
27
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Weird. It's the exact same color
28
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as my "Color Blind Awareness" ribbon.
29
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No, it isn't.
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I won't give in to any of their demands.
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The union is powerful, but I'm sure
32
00:01:08,752 --> 00:01:10,878
that most of our uniformed
officers understand
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00:01:10,962 --> 00:01:12,671
this incident is nonsense.
34
00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:16,173
It is, as Peralta would
say, "No big whoop."
35
00:01:16,257 --> 00:01:17,675
Oh, I appreciate the shout-out, sir,
36
00:01:17,759 --> 00:01:19,510
but I actually don't
pronounce the "H" in whoop.
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Sir, all the uniformed
officers just left.
38
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They're staging a walkout.
39
00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:26,682
Well, it seems I was wrong.
40
00:01:26,766 --> 00:01:28,850
The "whoop" is big after all.
41
00:01:29,643 --> 00:01:30,727
It is.
42
00:01:30,811 --> 00:01:33,646
Again, though, there's…
There's no "H" in whoop.
43
00:01:34,146 --> 00:01:35,814
It's silent. "Whoop."
44
00:01:36,189 --> 00:01:37,481
Whoop. "Whoop."
45
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,066
Am I crazy? How do you say it?
46
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,025
I say whoop. Okay.
47
00:01:41,109 --> 00:01:43,110
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
48
00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:03,292
How is it possible that every single
49
00:02:03,376 --> 00:02:05,084
uniformed officer got sick at once?
50
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,377
They're not actually sick.
51
00:02:06,461 --> 00:02:07,628
They aren't allowed to strike,
52
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so they made up a medical excuse.
53
00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:10,213
It's called a blue flu.
54
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,423
SANTIAGO: Without uniforms
on the street, crime's gonna go up.
55
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,049
Do we have to negotiate with the union?
56
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,259
No.
I haven't gone through decades of hell
57
00:02:16,343 --> 00:02:18,261
to become a captain in the NYPD
58
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:20,429
just to cave to a clown like O'Sullivan.
59
00:02:20,513 --> 00:02:22,347
We can't let him win, and we won't.
60
00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:23,514
But how? What are we gonna do?
61
00:02:23,598 --> 00:02:25,391
I'm initiating Operation Trident.
62
00:02:25,475 --> 00:02:27,267
Cool. Just like the sugarless gum,
63
00:02:27,351 --> 00:02:28,935
because we're gonna chew them up.
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00:02:29,019 --> 00:02:31,604
No, like the famed weapon of the sea,
65
00:02:31,688 --> 00:02:34,314
forged by the Cyclops
for Poseidon himself.
66
00:02:34,398 --> 00:02:35,982
The trident has three prongs,
67
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,066
like my approach.
68
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:38,317
Ah, not to interrupt,
69
00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:40,277
but Aquaman's trident has five prongs.
70
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,529
That's absurd.
The prefix "tri" means three.
71
00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:46,239
What this aquatic-man carries
is better termed a "pentadent."
72
00:02:46,323 --> 00:02:47,616
PERALTA: No, it's a trident.
73
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,742
They call it that in the
original theatrical release
74
00:02:49,826 --> 00:02:50,826
and the Snyder Cut.
75
00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:52,368
So you're 100% wrong, and
everyone's laughing at you.
76
00:02:52,452 --> 00:02:54,245
Well, regardless, Operation Trident
77
00:02:54,329 --> 00:02:55,330
has three prongs.
78
00:02:55,414 --> 00:02:57,039
Prong one, Boyle and Peralta.
79
00:02:57,123 --> 00:02:58,499
Oh, nice, the most important prong.
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00:02:58,583 --> 00:02:59,583
-Mmm-hmm.
-HOLT: Wrong.
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00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:00,833
Prong two, the center prong,
82
00:03:00,917 --> 00:03:02,627
is the most important prong on a trident.
83
00:03:02,711 --> 00:03:04,085
It's the longest and straightest
84
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and breaks the least often.
85
00:03:06,297 --> 00:03:08,130
Are you just mad because I
questioned you about the Aquaman thing?
86
00:03:08,214 --> 00:03:10,674
Yes. The officers all had doctor's notes.
87
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,008
Prove those notes are fraudulent,
88
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and they'll be forced back to work.
89
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-We're on it.
-HOLT: Prong two,
90
00:03:14,719 --> 00:03:18,013
Jeffords and Santiago, your
job is to keep crime down.
91
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,681
Figure out how we police
this precinct with no police.
92
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,766
Prong two, baby, the best prong.
93
00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:24,601
I mean, we're all in it together.
94
00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:26,310
It's not like this is a
competition between prongs.
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Says the prong who breaks the most.
96
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Prong three is proving
they faked the mouse
97
00:03:30,355 --> 00:03:31,356
in the burrito.
98
00:03:31,481 --> 00:03:33,690
If we can demonstrate
this was a media stunt,
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00:03:33,774 --> 00:03:35,734
the uniforms will have
to come back to work.
100
00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:37,985
But this investigation
must be done unofficially
101
00:03:38,069 --> 00:03:40,737
with an investigator
from outside the NYPD,
102
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,864
aka Rosa Diaz.
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00:03:42,948 --> 00:03:44,657
It's a good idea, but
she's not gonna like
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-being one of those dinky side prongs.
-HOLT: That's a good point.
105
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I'll make hers the sharpest.
106
00:03:48,577 --> 00:03:49,869
Dismissed. What? No!
107
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I want to be a sharp prong!
108
00:03:51,246 --> 00:03:52,330
That's not fair!
109
00:03:52,955 --> 00:03:54,998
All these notes are from the same doctor.
110
00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:57,333
Everyone got a blood
test, and they all had mono.
111
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That seems really improbable.
112
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Yeah, nobody gets mono at this age.
113
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You get it as an eight-year-old,
and then you're immune.
114
00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:03,838
Wait, you get it as an eight-year-old?
115
00:04:03,922 --> 00:04:05,089
Mono? The kissing disease?
116
00:04:05,173 --> 00:04:06,298
No, it's the cousin's disease.
117
00:04:06,382 --> 00:04:07,715
You get it by kissing your cousins.
118
00:04:07,799 --> 00:04:09,133
Oh, I guess we're both right.
119
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No.
120
00:04:10,676 --> 00:04:12,845
Wait a minute, if you're immune,
121
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then you can tell the doctor
you're from the Nine-Nine,
122
00:04:14,846 --> 00:04:16,389
and when he gives you a mono diagnosis…
123
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,223
We'll have proof that his notes are fake.
124
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Wow. I can't believe all
those lazy childhood afternoons
125
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playing hide the yam finally paid off.
126
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You see, you take a yam..
. I don't want to know!
127
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Prong two update,
128
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I brought in our night-shift detectives
129
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to handle the dispatch calls
130
00:04:32,609 --> 00:04:35,059
and respond to Major Crimes…
[STOMACH GURGLING]
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Sorry. That's Terry's tummy.
132
00:04:38,197 --> 00:04:39,780
I'm feeling a little nauseous.
133
00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:41,448
Must've been something
I had for breakfast.
134
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,367
Well, do you have to go
home, or can you tough it out?
135
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,743
So, if Terry goes home, he's not tough?
136
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,995
Here we go. Lieutenant, we don't
have the time today to make this
137
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about some larger insecurity
138
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,080
you have regarding your toughness.
139
00:04:51,164 --> 00:04:53,624
First of all, I'm not insecure
about my toughness.
140
00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:57,461
Secondly, being sick has
nothing to do with being tough.
141
00:04:57,836 --> 00:05:00,546
Thirdly, if I wasn't tough,
would I be daring Amy
142
00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,714
to punch me in the stomach? Wha…
143
00:05:02,798 --> 00:05:04,674
Come on, Amy! Give me your best shot!
144
00:05:04,758 --> 00:05:06,466
Fine. Just so that we can move on.
145
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-[GRUNTS]
-[STOMACH GURGLING]
146
00:05:11,179 --> 00:05:12,930
See? I'm fine.
147
00:05:13,014 --> 00:05:14,431
Now, if you'll excuse me,
148
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,849
I'm gonna go for a walk in the fresh air
149
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:19,102
with my best friend, the trash can.
150
00:05:20,395 --> 00:05:21,945
I'll be back, 'cause I'm tough!
151
00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:23,396
Let's talk quickly before he returns
152
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,605
and makes this all about himself again.
153
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:27,065
Okay.
We can't use uniforms from other precincts
154
00:05:27,149 --> 00:05:28,441
because they'll call out sick, too.
155
00:05:28,525 --> 00:05:30,484
So I asked the other
captains in the district
156
00:05:30,568 --> 00:05:31,985
to lend us some detectives.
157
00:05:32,069 --> 00:05:33,320
Smart. They have a different union.
158
00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:35,030
And they each sent us two people.
159
00:05:35,114 --> 00:05:36,488
They said they were happy to do it.
160
00:05:36,572 --> 00:05:38,032
Huh. That's odd.
161
00:05:38,908 --> 00:05:40,116
I wouldn't be happy to give up
162
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two of my detectives, unless… Dear God.
163
00:05:43,202 --> 00:05:44,912
They sent us their Hitchcock-and-Scullys.
164
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-[YAWNING]
-HOLT: It's a nightmare.
165
00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:48,497
DOCTOR: So you've been feeling fatigued?
166
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,290
Yeah. I think I have mono.
167
00:05:50,374 --> 00:05:52,083
I'm from the 99th precinct.
168
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,168
DOCTOR: Oh, yeah, I've heard
169
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:54,877
-they've had some kind of outbreak there.
-BOYLE: Mmm-hmm.
170
00:05:54,961 --> 00:05:57,129
So now that you know where I'm from,
171
00:05:57,213 --> 00:05:58,463
can you just write me a note?
172
00:05:58,547 --> 00:06:00,506
Uh, no, actually, I
need to order bloodwork
173
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:02,424
and do a full exam. Ah.
174
00:06:02,508 --> 00:06:04,260
Lift up. Oh, yeah.
175
00:06:04,385 --> 00:06:05,885
Oh. Now, that is interesting.
176
00:06:05,969 --> 00:06:08,054
Oh, did you find a sign of mono?
177
00:06:08,138 --> 00:06:09,679
No, it's your testicle. My what?
178
00:06:09,763 --> 00:06:10,972
The left one is enormous.
179
00:06:11,056 --> 00:06:13,390
BOYLE: Oh, well, can't one
testicle be larger than the other?
180
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,142
Well, yes, but it
shouldn't be that large.
181
00:06:16,226 --> 00:06:19,604
And also of concern is
the shape and the color…
182
00:06:19,688 --> 00:06:20,729
Yeah, that doesn't sound good.
183
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:21,813
…and the texture.
184
00:06:21,897 --> 00:06:23,940
Wow! Oh, that is ice cold!
185
00:06:24,024 --> 00:06:25,025
[SIGHS]
186
00:06:26,776 --> 00:06:30,362
So… So… You heard all that? I did.
187
00:06:30,446 --> 00:06:31,987
Even the part where he's
talking about my huge…
188
00:06:32,071 --> 00:06:34,490
Yep. Yep, yep, yep. All the parts.
189
00:06:35,157 --> 00:06:36,199
You okay? Yeah.
190
00:06:36,283 --> 00:06:38,700
I mean, could be cancer,
might have spread.
191
00:06:38,784 --> 00:06:40,786
But I'm fine. I can handle this.
192
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,161
You sure about that?
193
00:06:42,245 --> 00:06:45,095
'Cause you're still wearing
your hospital gown there, bud.
194
00:06:45,415 --> 00:06:47,750
So I am.
195
00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:49,833
HOLT: Ah, there she is.
196
00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:52,419
My sweet secret prong three.
197
00:06:52,503 --> 00:06:53,670
What the hell? Oh, right.
198
00:06:53,754 --> 00:06:55,713
You weren't there when I
explained Operation Trident.
199
00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:57,005
So, uh, what did you find?
200
00:06:57,089 --> 00:06:58,924
Nothing yet, and if you
want me to keep digging,
201
00:06:59,008 --> 00:07:00,092
we need to talk about my fee.
202
00:07:00,176 --> 00:07:02,343
I need cash.
Most of my other work is pro bono.
203
00:07:02,427 --> 00:07:04,135
This is unofficial. I can't pay.
204
00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:05,929
Right, but there is
something you can give me,
205
00:07:06,013 --> 00:07:07,930
something just as valuable as money.
206
00:07:08,556 --> 00:07:09,556
I want to see your tattoo.
207
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,641
That's just as valuable?
208
00:07:10,725 --> 00:07:12,976
It is to Jake.
He's offered a significant reward.
209
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,435
Wow. It is so ridiculous how much weight
210
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:16,812
you've all given to my silly tattoo,
211
00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:19,480
like it's some huge secret
that I'll take to my grave.
212
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,856
I notice you haven't said yes yet.
213
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,358
'Cause no one can ever know!
214
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,733
Okay, fine.
215
00:07:23,817 --> 00:07:26,611
If you can prove how that
mouse got into that burrito,
216
00:07:27,695 --> 00:07:28,862
I'll tell you what my tattoo is.
217
00:07:28,946 --> 00:07:30,896
I need a photo of it. You're a monster!
218
00:07:31,114 --> 00:07:32,448
Wait. I may not have to deal with you.
219
00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:34,324
Santiago, how's prong two looking?
220
00:07:34,408 --> 00:07:36,576
Well, the good news is
the Scully-and-Hitchcocks
221
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,035
actually work well together.
222
00:07:38,119 --> 00:07:39,120
That is good news.
223
00:07:39,245 --> 00:07:41,454
The bad news is it's at
making a back-scratch circle.
224
00:07:41,538 --> 00:07:43,081
I have always wondered
what it would be like
225
00:07:43,165 --> 00:07:44,815
to have a tight-knit work family.
226
00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:47,085
-Nine-Nine!
-ALL: Nine-Nine!
227
00:07:48,044 --> 00:07:50,503
Ah, there they are, prong one,
228
00:07:50,587 --> 00:07:52,254
my most important prong.
229
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,464
Oh, thank you.
Nice of you to finally recognize
230
00:07:54,548 --> 00:07:56,007
what our prong brings to this.
231
00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:59,385
Life is a cruel prank
played on the living.
232
00:07:59,927 --> 00:08:01,678
Death mocks us all.
233
00:08:01,887 --> 00:08:04,037
Time to go tell my son he'll be an orphan
234
00:08:04,639 --> 00:08:05,681
again.
235
00:08:05,765 --> 00:08:08,182
So, yeah.
Prong one pretty much broke immediately.
236
00:08:08,266 --> 00:08:10,316
I'm gonna call HR.
Get ahead of that butt.
237
00:08:12,061 --> 00:08:14,687
Here's where we stand.
The blue flu continues.
238
00:08:14,771 --> 00:08:16,147
O'Sullivan and the union won't budge
239
00:08:16,231 --> 00:08:18,024
on their mouse-burrito demands.
240
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:20,233
Also, arrests are down.
241
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:22,860
Santiago, Jeffords, what on
earth happened yesterday?
242
00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:24,778
The new detectives
won't do anything I ask.
243
00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:26,238
And I've had to work solo.
244
00:08:26,696 --> 00:08:28,948
Sorry. I was feeling a little sick,
245
00:08:29,032 --> 00:08:30,615
but I am much better now.
246
00:08:30,699 --> 00:08:31,700
HOLT: You look like garbage.
247
00:08:31,784 --> 00:08:33,576
Now, I know you're
trying to tough this out,
248
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:35,911
but I've always believed
that true toughness
249
00:08:35,995 --> 00:08:38,163
means acknowledging your own limitations.
250
00:08:38,247 --> 00:08:40,414
It's okay, Terry. Go home.
251
00:08:40,498 --> 00:08:42,291
Thank you, sir. I'll be back in a jiffy.
252
00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:43,725
[JEFFORDS' STOMACH GURGLES]
253
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:45,960
I can't believe he bought that drivel.
254
00:08:46,044 --> 00:08:48,295
True toughness means
working through pain.
255
00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:49,504
Everyone knows that.
256
00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,256
Peralta, where are we with the doctor?
257
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,049
We're gonna tail him and
see if he contacts O'Sullivan.
258
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:53,674
HOLT: Smart.
259
00:08:53,758 --> 00:08:56,718
And, uh, what is going on with
Detective Boyle? Is he okay?
260
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,762
Oh, you mean why is
he face-deep in cheese?
261
00:08:58,846 --> 00:09:01,180
Yeah, it's made from the
milk of a Balkan donkey,
262
00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:02,556
and apparently it's quite expensive.
263
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,724
Spent 12 thou on ass cheese.
264
00:09:04,808 --> 00:09:05,933
Also, he's pretending like
265
00:09:06,017 --> 00:09:07,768
he doesn't know what
ass cheese sounds like.
266
00:09:07,852 --> 00:09:09,227
Are you sure he should be working?
267
00:09:09,311 --> 00:09:10,728
His doctor said there's
nothing to worry about
268
00:09:10,812 --> 00:09:12,313
until we get the
actual test results back.
269
00:09:12,397 --> 00:09:13,606
And Charles said that work
270
00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,690
is the only thing keeping
him from thinking about death.
271
00:09:15,774 --> 00:09:17,234
Coat's to keep me warm
272
00:09:18,234 --> 00:09:19,485
in my grave.
273
00:09:22,112 --> 00:09:23,780
I mean, he's not doing great.
274
00:09:24,156 --> 00:09:26,364
Oh, you guys still have lunch together?
275
00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:27,491
Twice a day, every day.
276
00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:29,283
Look, I need help figuring out
277
00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:30,993
how to inspire these new guys.
278
00:09:31,077 --> 00:09:32,368
What motivates you?
279
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,120
Well, I'd do anything to retire
280
00:09:34,204 --> 00:09:36,622
and spend the rest of my
days with Hitchcock in Brazil.
281
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:37,873
Huh. That's actually pretty helpful.
282
00:09:37,957 --> 00:09:39,083
HITCHCOCK: That's the dream.
283
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:40,833
Scully and me on the
sex barge I'm building.
284
00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:42,460
[GRUNTS] Okay.
Scully was already helpful.
285
00:09:42,544 --> 00:09:43,794
You don't have to keep talking.
286
00:09:43,878 --> 00:09:45,337
These are pedometers,
287
00:09:45,421 --> 00:09:47,546
which will prove that you're
actually walking your beat.
288
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,631
[DETECTIVES GROAN]
289
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,965
But whoever gets the most steps in
290
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,927
will receive seven days of overtime.
291
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:58,346
Therefore, you'll be one
week closer to retirement.
292
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:00,723
And one week closer to a couple's massage
293
00:10:00,807 --> 00:10:02,974
with your best friend on his sex barge.
294
00:10:03,058 --> 00:10:04,226
[DETECTIVES CHEERING]
295
00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:08,521
Sir, guess what.
296
00:10:08,605 --> 00:10:10,063
Lieutenant, I thought you went home.
I did.
297
00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:12,232
But some uniforms
heard that I called out sick,
298
00:10:12,316 --> 00:10:14,108
and they assumed I
was joining the blue flu.
299
00:10:14,192 --> 00:10:16,901
They invited me to a meeting
tomorrow to talk strategy.
300
00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:18,069
You could go record them
301
00:10:18,153 --> 00:10:20,612
admitting that they
don't actually have mono.
302
00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:22,531
That is, if you're up to it. Hell yeah.
303
00:10:22,615 --> 00:10:23,782
Terry's gonna tough it out.
304
00:10:23,866 --> 00:10:26,450
Terry's also gonna drink
some raspberry leaf tea
305
00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,535
that Sharon uses to help
her with menstrual cramps.
306
00:10:28,619 --> 00:10:30,245
Oh, looks like we're adding a prong.
307
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,872
Operation Trident is now Operation Fork.
308
00:10:33,956 --> 00:10:35,873
Isn't there a cooler word than "fork"?
309
00:10:35,957 --> 00:10:37,083
I mean, something more like "trident."
310
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:39,126
Oh, no. Did everyone
assume I was trying to be cool?
311
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:41,002
Is that why things are going so poorly?
312
00:10:41,086 --> 00:10:43,170
Damn it, I've got to call Peralta.
313
00:10:43,254 --> 00:10:46,215
No, Operation Fork
is definitely not cool.
314
00:10:46,299 --> 00:10:47,882
Uh, yeah, things are going good here.
315
00:10:47,966 --> 00:10:49,384
We're just staking out the doctor
316
00:10:49,468 --> 00:10:50,884
and trying to keep a low profile.
317
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:54,638
MAN: ♪ And I'll be, your crying… ♪
318
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:57,098
Sorry about that.
Just had a bit of a noisy neighbor.
319
00:10:57,182 --> 00:10:58,932
MAN: ♪ I'll be… ♪
320
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,559
You know what, sir?
We have another noisy neighbor.
321
00:11:00,643 --> 00:11:02,393
I'm just gonna call you back. Bye.
322
00:11:03,061 --> 00:11:05,270
All right, Charles, I get it.
You're scared.
323
00:11:05,354 --> 00:11:08,314
But sometimes it helps
to say our fears out loud.
324
00:11:08,398 --> 00:11:09,731
You know, if you put words to them,
325
00:11:09,815 --> 00:11:10,983
it can take away some of their power.
326
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,067
So, come on.
327
00:11:12,151 --> 00:11:15,001
Stop bottling up those fears
and get them out in the open.
328
00:11:16,904 --> 00:11:18,239
Okay, well…
329
00:11:19,573 --> 00:11:22,283
[SIGHS] I'm scared that
whatever's in my testicle
330
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,409
has spread, and that I'm gonna die.
331
00:11:24,493 --> 00:11:27,286
And then I'll never get
to see Nikolaj grow up.
332
00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:30,456
And I won't know what
kind of man he becomes.
333
00:11:31,373 --> 00:11:33,500
Also, my time with you will be cut short.
334
00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:37,294
So no more stakeouts,
or drinks after a long shift
335
00:11:37,378 --> 00:11:40,380
or midnight calls when you've
had a breakthrough in a case.
336
00:11:40,922 --> 00:11:43,089
I've always had this
image of us in our 90s
337
00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:45,423
hunting down criminals
at the retirement home,
338
00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:49,302
but I guess that was just a dumb fantasy
339
00:11:50,095 --> 00:11:52,013
because soon I won't be here anymore,
340
00:11:52,764 --> 00:11:54,014
because I'll be dead and gone
341
00:11:54,098 --> 00:11:55,724
and you won't ever see me again.
342
00:11:58,393 --> 00:12:00,560
-Jake, are you crying?
-[CRYING] No.
343
00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,854
Yes.
344
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,773
Diaz, why the hush-hush meeting?
345
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:08,858
Because in one minute,
346
00:12:08,942 --> 00:12:10,526
you're gonna be showing
me your tramp stamp.
347
00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:12,152
I don't have a tramp stamp. Prove it.
348
00:12:12,236 --> 00:12:13,436
Show me your lower back.
349
00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:17,005
Hmm. Seems I didn't know
what a tramp stamp was.
350
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,741
But I'm not gonna show you anything
351
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:19,991
until you've solved the case.
352
00:12:20,075 --> 00:12:21,117
Surveillance footage of McCaffery
353
00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:23,118
entering a pet store and buying a mouse
354
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:25,078
an hour before he
found it in his burrito.
355
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,621
HOLT: He set the whole thing up.
356
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:29,081
Diaz, you did it.
357
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,541
And now…
358
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,459
My payment.
359
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,002
Okay, O'Sullivan, there's McCaffery
360
00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:36,295
coming out of Perdue Pet Supplies
361
00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:38,963
with the mouse that
he put in the burrito.
362
00:12:39,047 --> 00:12:40,465
So there's no need for tactical gear
363
00:12:40,549 --> 00:12:43,467
or a "Never Forget
Burrito" ribbon or any of that.
364
00:12:43,551 --> 00:12:45,218
You need to call off the blue flu.
365
00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:47,428
Are you crazy? My guys are under attack.
366
00:12:47,512 --> 00:12:49,471
No, I just proved that it
wasn't an attack. He faked it.
367
00:12:49,555 --> 00:12:51,306
Not that attack, this attack,
368
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,766
the one where you
call a policeman a liar.
369
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,684
He is a liar. Oh, dear, my God.
You just did it again.
370
00:12:55,768 --> 00:12:57,769
Do you understand the
worst thing you could do
371
00:12:57,853 --> 00:13:01,021
to another person is to
call that person a liar?
372
00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:03,106
You hate cops. That's a fact.
373
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,607
[SPUTTERS] I just thought
374
00:13:04,691 --> 00:13:07,234
the blue flu was about
a mouse in a burrito.
375
00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:10,070
Well, it was, but now it's
about you saying it wasn't.
376
00:13:10,154 --> 00:13:11,779
That doesn't make any sense.
So you're calling me stupid?
377
00:13:11,863 --> 00:13:13,322
That's not what I said!
You're calling me a liar?
378
00:13:13,406 --> 00:13:15,114
I just don't know how to
talk to someone like you.
379
00:13:15,198 --> 00:13:16,658
Someone like me?
380
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:19,201
Wow. That's racist.
381
00:13:19,285 --> 00:13:23,163
Oh, this is a very
frustrating conversation.
382
00:13:25,123 --> 00:13:27,040
The union can't be reasoned with.
383
00:13:27,124 --> 00:13:28,625
I need an update. Prong one?
384
00:13:29,084 --> 00:13:30,376
More broken than ever.
385
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,253
Ah, well, I never had
any faith in you anyway.
386
00:13:32,337 --> 00:13:34,087
Santiago, how's prong two doing?
387
00:13:34,171 --> 00:13:35,171
SANTIAGO: We're killing it.
388
00:13:35,255 --> 00:13:36,297
According to the pedometers
389
00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:37,464
I put on the Hitchcock-and-Scullys,
390
00:13:37,548 --> 00:13:38,548
they're out walking their beat.
391
00:13:38,632 --> 00:13:39,841
And it's all thanks to these guys.
392
00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:41,175
-Hey.
-Screw you, Amy.
393
00:13:41,259 --> 00:13:42,885
No, I was complimenting you.
394
00:13:42,969 --> 00:13:45,303
-Well, screw you anyway.
-SCULLY: Yeah.
395
00:13:45,387 --> 00:13:47,347
As for prong four, Jeffords is recording
396
00:13:47,431 --> 00:13:49,515
the officers' secret meeting as we speak.
397
00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:52,183
And I expect he'll be bursting
into my office any minute
398
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:54,519
with the proof we
need to end the blue flu.
399
00:13:54,603 --> 00:13:58,313
I got the proof we
need to end the blue flu.
400
00:13:58,397 --> 00:13:59,939
Wait, really? Why so surprised?
401
00:14:00,023 --> 00:14:01,482
That was the plan. Yes.
402
00:14:01,566 --> 00:14:02,983
But earlier, I was talking to the squad,
403
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:05,193
and I put a lot of
pressure on this moment,
404
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:06,360
which I then regretted.
405
00:14:06,444 --> 00:14:08,570
I feared I might be
hoist on my own petard.
406
00:14:08,654 --> 00:14:10,321
No petard hoisting here.
407
00:14:10,405 --> 00:14:12,073
They talked about
everything in front of me,
408
00:14:12,157 --> 00:14:13,283
how they planned the whole thing,
409
00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:14,866
how long they were
gonna pretend to be sick.
410
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:17,160
And you recorded it all,
despite your own illness.
411
00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:19,203
I must say, I'm impressed.
412
00:14:19,287 --> 00:14:20,371
Because of how tough I am, right?
413
00:14:20,455 --> 00:14:21,622
The toughest.
414
00:14:22,456 --> 00:14:24,915
MAN: Okay, first things first.
We got to get…
415
00:14:24,999 --> 00:14:26,750
[STOMACH GURGLING ON PHONE]
416
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:27,960
What, what is that?
417
00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:29,502
I had the mic close to my chest,
418
00:14:29,586 --> 00:14:32,212
so I guess it must have
picked up my stomach noises,
419
00:14:32,296 --> 00:14:34,089
but I'm sure it stops eventually.
420
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:35,424
[STOMACH GURGLING]
421
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,674
More stomach.
422
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:38,551
More stomach.
423
00:14:39,552 --> 00:14:41,552
-It's all stomach.
-HOLT: And there it is,
424
00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:43,470
the petard.
425
00:14:43,554 --> 00:14:46,890
I need your help.
Our arrests are still way down.
426
00:14:46,974 --> 00:14:48,182
But according to the pedometers,
427
00:14:48,266 --> 00:14:50,726
our Hitchcock-and-Scullys are
out there logging miles on the beat.
428
00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:52,644
How are they not seeing any crimes?
429
00:14:52,728 --> 00:14:53,770
How do you know they're walking?
430
00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:56,397
I just told you, their pedometer
numbers are through the roof.
431
00:14:56,481 --> 00:14:58,356
Oh, poor, simple Amy.
432
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,400
It's like you've never had to
mess with a medical device
433
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,818
in order to trick your
life insurance agent.
434
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:03,903
Watch and learn.
435
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,071
They're just using the massage chairs
436
00:15:07,155 --> 00:15:08,156
to jiggle their pedometers?
437
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,948
Life always finds a way.
438
00:15:10,032 --> 00:15:11,033
To do what?
439
00:15:11,117 --> 00:15:12,201
To do nothing.
440
00:15:13,451 --> 00:15:15,828
Dr. Mintleman's just
working his normal job
441
00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:17,495
and not being a criminal.
442
00:15:17,579 --> 00:15:19,789
I can't believe this is how
I'm spending my final days.
443
00:15:19,873 --> 00:15:21,957
Maybe it doesn't have to be.
Screw this case.
444
00:15:22,041 --> 00:15:23,125
What's something you've
always wanted to do?
445
00:15:23,209 --> 00:15:24,250
Do you have a bucket list?
446
00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:25,710
Well, yeah, but, I
mean, it's only one item.
447
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,253
Great. Whatever it is, we're doing it.
448
00:15:27,337 --> 00:15:29,171
Live to be 110. Come on!
449
00:15:29,255 --> 00:15:30,505
I thought I found a loophole!
450
00:15:30,589 --> 00:15:31,756
[SCOFFS] Okay, how about this?
451
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,382
We go on a cross-country road trip,
452
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,366
me on a motorcycle, you in my sidecar?
453
00:15:36,093 --> 00:15:37,761
Or we enter a cooking competition,
454
00:15:37,845 --> 00:15:40,429
and you Ratatouille me from
inside of a giant chef's hat?
455
00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:42,513
[SIGHS] I track down Dianne Wiest,
456
00:15:42,597 --> 00:15:44,390
and you finally try
and use your hall pass?
457
00:15:44,474 --> 00:15:47,017
You're smiling, so I guess that one's it.
458
00:15:47,101 --> 00:15:49,770
Oof, going with Wiest, huh?
I got to be honest, Boyle,
459
00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:50,936
I'm not so sure you can pull that off.
460
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:52,146
I mean, her career is red hot.
461
00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:53,356
She just did a movie with Streep.
462
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,190
No, Jake. That's not why I'm smiling.
463
00:15:55,274 --> 00:15:57,608
I'm smiling because you know me so well.
464
00:15:57,692 --> 00:15:59,651
Yeah, we're best friends.
Of course I know you.
465
00:15:59,735 --> 00:16:02,362
Well, as perfect as all your ideas were,
466
00:16:02,446 --> 00:16:04,572
nothing tops sitting
here with my best friend.
467
00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:07,157
I mean, why would I want to
go to town on Dianne Wiest
468
00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:08,950
when I can go to town with you?
469
00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:10,910
What?
470
00:16:10,994 --> 00:16:12,994
Hang out. Go to town with each other.
471
00:16:13,078 --> 00:16:14,120
It's a common friendship phrase.
472
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:15,622
-Haven't heard it.
-[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
473
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:16,872
Oh.
474
00:16:16,956 --> 00:16:19,624
Oh, God. It's my biopsy results.
475
00:16:19,708 --> 00:16:20,917
What does it say?
I don't know. I'm too nervous.
476
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:22,085
I can't read it.
477
00:16:23,377 --> 00:16:25,212
It's not cancer. Not cancer.
478
00:16:25,296 --> 00:16:27,213
It's an infection, and
it's highly treatable.
479
00:16:27,297 --> 00:16:28,672
I'm not gonna die? You're not gonna die!
480
00:16:28,756 --> 00:16:30,132
Oh, we got to celebrate.
481
00:16:30,216 --> 00:16:32,550
Does it say if it's safe to ride
a two-person banana boat?
482
00:16:32,634 --> 00:16:34,843
I don't know. Let me check.
It doesn't say.
483
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:35,928
Oh, well.
484
00:16:36,012 --> 00:16:37,638
And also, I think just figured out
485
00:16:37,722 --> 00:16:40,072
how all those officers
got their fake diagnoses.
486
00:16:40,682 --> 00:16:41,682
Tell us what's written there.
487
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:44,768
"Patient's left teste is gnarled
and shows discoloration."
488
00:16:44,852 --> 00:16:46,310
No, not that. There, at the top.
489
00:16:46,394 --> 00:16:48,187
"ShareChem Medical Laboratory." Yeah, so?
490
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:49,729
So we thought it was
the doctor handing out
491
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:50,897
fake diagnoses, but he's clean.
492
00:16:50,981 --> 00:16:53,232
However, the officers knew
he used ShareChem Lab,
493
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,317
and that lab is owned by David Share,
494
00:16:55,401 --> 00:16:58,236
brother of Nine-Nine
officer Michael Share.
495
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,278
The lab faked the blood results.
496
00:17:00,362 --> 00:17:02,489
None of the officers are actually sick,
497
00:17:02,573 --> 00:17:04,323
which means they have
no excuse to miss work.
498
00:17:04,407 --> 00:17:05,574
Well, unfortunately, that is…
499
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,284
Stop. I know you're gonna twist my words
500
00:17:07,368 --> 00:17:09,953
into some vicious attack
on you and the NYPD.
501
00:17:10,037 --> 00:17:12,037
So, before you do
that, I'd like the pleasure
502
00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:13,455
of making the vicious attack myself.
503
00:17:13,539 --> 00:17:14,998
Sir, your insults are kind of known
504
00:17:15,082 --> 00:17:16,999
to be little too think-y,
maybe you should just let…
505
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,876
O'Sullivan, you are a [BLEEP]
506
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,002
And I hope your [BLEEP]
507
00:17:21,086 --> 00:17:23,796
Get shoved right into your [BLEEP].
508
00:17:24,339 --> 00:17:26,339
Wow.
Well, that was definitely not too think-y.
509
00:17:26,423 --> 00:17:28,383
Okay, okay, okay. You got me.
510
00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:30,426
The men didn't have mono.
They weren't sick.
511
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:31,927
Damn right. But they are now.
512
00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:33,594
What? It seems they had a meeting,
513
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,847
and somebody showed up
with a very bad stomach bug
514
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,014
and gave it to everyone there.
515
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,266
I believe the officer's name was a, uh,
516
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,559
Lieutenant Jeffords.
517
00:17:41,142 --> 00:17:42,310
The petard.
518
00:17:42,977 --> 00:17:46,438
It just won't stop hoisting.
519
00:17:48,273 --> 00:17:49,273
PERALTA: Hey there, sir.
520
00:17:49,357 --> 00:17:50,649
You missed the morning briefing.
521
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:52,316
And I see you found Charles' cheese.
522
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,445
Mmm, it pairs well with despair
523
00:17:55,529 --> 00:17:59,197
and also this 1976 Château Haut-Brion.
524
00:17:59,281 --> 00:18:01,824
Doesn't seem like the kind of
bottle you're supposed to chug.
525
00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:03,408
I bought it the day I joined the force
526
00:18:03,492 --> 00:18:05,618
with the intent to open it
when I became commissioner.
527
00:18:05,702 --> 00:18:07,161
Oh, my gosh, this is big news.
528
00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:08,579
Congratulations, sir.
529
00:18:08,663 --> 00:18:10,872
No, he's not becoming
commissioner, Scully.
530
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,040
We can still fight the blue flu.
531
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:14,666
It's over, Lieutenant.
532
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,586
I have to cave to O'Sullivan's demands.
533
00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:20,129
Sir, you can't give up on all your
hard work because of one setback.
534
00:18:20,213 --> 00:18:21,213
HOLT: I'm a realist.
535
00:18:21,297 --> 00:18:24,299
I knew I wouldn't be
able to fix every problem,
536
00:18:24,383 --> 00:18:27,468
though I always imagined
I could fix some of them.
537
00:18:27,552 --> 00:18:30,011
But as a realist, I can now see
538
00:18:30,095 --> 00:18:31,554
I haven't fixed a damn thing.
539
00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:34,097
The NYPD will never change.
540
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,515
Sir, if I may, when I
thought I was dying,
541
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:39,978
all I could think about was what a
disappointment my life had been.
542
00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:42,312
But then Jake went to town with me.
543
00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:43,688
Common friendship phrase.
544
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:46,064
And it helped me realize you can't focus
545
00:18:46,148 --> 00:18:47,566
on the things you didn't do.
546
00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:49,358
Focus on what you did do.
547
00:18:49,442 --> 00:18:52,695
And, more importantly,
focus on who you did it with.
548
00:18:52,945 --> 00:18:55,321
Boyle, you're absolutely right.
549
00:18:55,405 --> 00:18:56,947
I am? My speech turned your life around?
550
00:18:57,031 --> 00:18:59,115
No, I found it trite and uninspiring,
551
00:18:59,199 --> 00:19:00,700
but something you said resonated.
552
00:19:00,784 --> 00:19:03,535
Focus on the things you didn't do.
553
00:19:03,619 --> 00:19:05,078
I said not to focus on
the things you didn't do.
554
00:19:05,162 --> 00:19:06,329
Again, your speech meant nothing.
555
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,080
I'm just picking out individual words.
556
00:19:08,164 --> 00:19:09,165
Sure, sure, yeah.
557
00:19:10,124 --> 00:19:11,125
Hot damn.
558
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,376
I know how to end the blue flu.
559
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:15,586
I found a fifth prong.
560
00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:18,046
So I gather you're ready
to cave to my demands.
561
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:19,339
Why would I do that? Give me a break.
562
00:19:19,423 --> 00:19:20,715
Your arrests are way down,
563
00:19:20,799 --> 00:19:22,174
and your CompStat numbers are terrible.
564
00:19:22,258 --> 00:19:23,342
I think those numbers look great.
565
00:19:23,426 --> 00:19:25,843
No, you don't. Well, not those numbers.
566
00:19:25,927 --> 00:19:28,345
Obviously, they make it look like
we haven't done much at all this week.
567
00:19:28,429 --> 00:19:30,347
But a friend of mine told me something
568
00:19:30,431 --> 00:19:31,681
unintentionally interesting,
569
00:19:31,765 --> 00:19:32,973
focus on what you didn't do.
570
00:19:33,057 --> 00:19:35,559
So here's what we didn't do this week.
571
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:37,936
With fewer officers at our disposal
572
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:40,354
and none of them trying
to hit CompStat numbers,
573
00:19:40,438 --> 00:19:42,440
we made fewer bad arrests.
574
00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:45,525
Number of complaints
against officers, down 32%.
575
00:19:45,609 --> 00:19:47,734
Number of cases thrown out at arraignment
576
00:19:47,818 --> 00:19:49,903
for insufficient evidence, down 34%.
577
00:19:49,987 --> 00:19:52,029
And here's the most
important thing we didn't do.
578
00:19:52,113 --> 00:19:54,739
We didn't make the community less safe.
579
00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:56,616
Rates of major and violent crime,
580
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,408
what actually matters, stayed the same.
581
00:19:58,492 --> 00:19:59,618
What are you saying?
582
00:19:59,702 --> 00:20:02,078
I'm saying the Nine-Nine
just became a case study
583
00:20:02,162 --> 00:20:03,371
for how a police force
584
00:20:03,455 --> 00:20:05,747
can work better with fewer police.
585
00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,290
Are you actually talking
about laying off cops?
586
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,625
If these numbers persist,
I may have no choice.
587
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,835
Then I'll just end the blue flu.
Great. That's what I want.
588
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,836
Then I won't end the blue flu.
Great. Fewer cops.
589
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,920
That's what I want. You just said that…
590
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:21,509
This is a very frustrating conversation.
591
00:20:21,593 --> 00:20:23,010
HOLT: I'd like to officially announce
592
00:20:23,094 --> 00:20:24,803
that the blue flu is over.
593
00:20:24,887 --> 00:20:26,805
The uniformed officers are at work,
594
00:20:26,889 --> 00:20:28,472
and we sent the Hitchcock-and-Scullys
595
00:20:28,556 --> 00:20:29,557
back to their home precincts.
596
00:20:29,641 --> 00:20:31,058
So everything's back to normal?
597
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,225
No, the opposite.
598
00:20:32,351 --> 00:20:33,810
We're gonna use what we learned this week
599
00:20:33,894 --> 00:20:36,436
to change the way the
NYPD polices our streets.
600
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,021
PERALTA: Okay, awesome. Very inspiring.
601
00:20:38,105 --> 00:20:39,605
Now, onto more important things.
602
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:42,442
I have obtained from Rosa a photograph
603
00:20:43,901 --> 00:20:45,360
of Captain Holt's tattoo.
604
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:46,819
-[ALL EXCLAIMING]
-Bup-bup-bup!
605
00:20:46,903 --> 00:20:48,612
I'm sorry, Captain, but
there's nothing you can do
606
00:20:48,696 --> 00:20:50,071
that will stop me from revealing
607
00:20:50,155 --> 00:20:53,408
that your secret and
embarrassing tattoo is…
608
00:20:54,867 --> 00:20:56,285
A dot? Huh?
609
00:20:56,702 --> 00:20:59,078
It's a decimal point.
610
00:20:59,162 --> 00:21:01,621
Ah, what a first-thought
mathematical symbol.
611
00:21:01,705 --> 00:21:02,789
Might as well have gotten
612
00:21:02,873 --> 00:21:04,915
a greater-than or equal-to sign.
613
00:21:04,999 --> 00:21:07,042
I can't believe I spent $2,000 on a dot.
614
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:08,960
You did? I know, Amy!
615
00:21:09,044 --> 00:21:11,129
We're both upset about the same thing!
616
00:21:11,213 --> 00:21:12,713
[CHUCKLES] I got to call Rosa.
617
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:19,385
Thank you for giving
Peralta the doctored photo.
618
00:21:19,469 --> 00:21:21,094
My allegiances are to the highest bidder.
619
00:21:21,178 --> 00:21:22,429
And you'll never tell
anyone what you saw?
620
00:21:22,513 --> 00:21:23,596
They wouldn't believe me if I did.
621
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,765
I mean, come on, sir. It's a picture of…