1
00:00:06,448 --> 00:00:08,158
Peralta, you need to
come with me right now.
2
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,284
Can I eat my bagel?
3
00:00:09,368 --> 00:00:12,168
Trust me, you're not gonna
wanna eat before you see this.
4
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:14,956
That's Shane Reed.
Suspect in a string of B&Es.
5
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,590
Got pulled over this morning.
This was in his trunk.
6
00:00:18,378 --> 00:00:20,130
Son of a bitch!
7
00:00:20,839 --> 00:00:22,382
Peralta… Peralta, calm down.
8
00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:24,842
Why am I here? I didn't do anything.
9
00:00:24,926 --> 00:00:26,677
You broke into 15 houses, Shane,
10
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:28,138
but that's not what I
care about right now.
11
00:00:28,222 --> 00:00:30,057
All I care about is what
we found in your car.
12
00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:32,184
I don't understand.
He doesn't understand, Diaz.
13
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:33,268
Why don't you fill him in?
14
00:00:33,352 --> 00:00:34,811
"You are invited to celebrate the wedding
15
00:00:34,895 --> 00:00:36,855
"of Katherine Joyner and Douglas Judy."
16
00:00:36,939 --> 00:00:41,611
Douglas Judy, aka Doug
Judy, aka, the Pontiac Bandit.
17
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:42,904
-Maybe.
-PERALTA: That's a yes.
18
00:00:42,988 --> 00:00:45,198
Now tell me, Shane,
when did you get the invite?
19
00:00:45,282 --> 00:00:47,450
What? When did you
receive the invite in the mail,
20
00:00:47,534 --> 00:00:48,826
and how come I didn't get one?
21
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:50,579
Why would you get an invite?
Do you know Doug?
22
00:00:50,663 --> 00:00:52,373
Hey, I'm the one asking
the questions here!
23
00:00:52,457 --> 00:00:54,667
Calm down, Jake.
Maybe it's a small wedding.
24
00:00:54,751 --> 00:00:57,420
Okay, good point.
How big is the venue, Shane?
25
00:00:57,754 --> 00:00:59,004
I said how big is the venue?
26
00:00:59,088 --> 00:01:00,130
[SPUTTERS] I don't know!
27
00:01:00,214 --> 00:01:02,217
[MIMICS STAMMER] I don't know!
But I bet you do know
28
00:01:02,301 --> 00:01:03,885
the password to the
wedding website, don't you?
29
00:01:03,969 --> 00:01:04,969
Yeah, I guess.
30
00:01:05,053 --> 00:01:06,638
Well, then I guess you
better tell it to me, Shane.
31
00:01:06,722 --> 00:01:08,515
You wash my back, I'll wash yours.
32
00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:10,016
Wash? I meant scratch.
You know I meant scratch.
33
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,895
Now tell me the password.
I think it's "dougandkateforever."
34
00:01:12,979 --> 00:01:15,564
[CHUCKLES] There,
was that so hard, Shane?
35
00:01:15,648 --> 00:01:16,691
You did the right thing.
36
00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:18,925
Now get this piece of
trash out of my sight.
37
00:01:20,570 --> 00:01:24,282
Oh, is forever spelled
out or is it the number four?
38
00:01:24,366 --> 00:01:25,826
Oh, it's spelled out.
Okay, thank you so much.
39
00:01:25,910 --> 00:01:27,828
Now get this piece of
trash out of my sight!
40
00:01:27,912 --> 00:01:29,914
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
41
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:49,852
I'm so glad you called.
42
00:01:49,936 --> 00:01:52,396
Thanks for meeting me at
my favorite establishment.
43
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,814
A place where you paint pottery?
44
00:01:53,898 --> 00:01:55,566
I find a hand-painted mug
45
00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:57,485
makes a thoughtful gift for any occasion.
46
00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:58,570
So, what's going on?
47
00:01:58,654 --> 00:01:59,738
Anything exciting in your life
48
00:01:59,822 --> 00:02:01,406
that you maybe wanna tell me about?
49
00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,742
I got a new job. I sit behind white CEOs
50
00:02:03,826 --> 00:02:05,452
when they have to
testify before Congress,
51
00:02:05,536 --> 00:02:06,619
so they don't look so racist.
52
00:02:06,703 --> 00:02:09,303
Every 15 minutes I just
whisper some nonsense at 'em.
53
00:02:09,457 --> 00:02:12,252
The texture of quiche is unsettling.
54
00:02:12,585 --> 00:02:15,629
I got paid $75,000 for that nonsense.
55
00:02:15,713 --> 00:02:17,590
[LAUGHS] That's cool, congratulations.
56
00:02:17,674 --> 00:02:18,758
But there's nothing else,
57
00:02:18,842 --> 00:02:20,552
you know, maybe even more interesting
58
00:02:20,636 --> 00:02:21,636
that you wanna fill me in on?
59
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,138
It seemed like a pretty cool fact to me.
60
00:02:23,222 --> 00:02:24,931
All right.
Look, Judy, I know you're getting married.
61
00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:26,725
Damn it.
I didn't think you'd find out about that.
62
00:02:26,809 --> 00:02:29,019
Who told you? Ronnie? Bobby?
63
00:02:29,395 --> 00:02:30,980
Ricky? Mike?
64
00:02:31,064 --> 00:02:32,482
Don't try and change
the subject by tricking me
65
00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:33,691
into singing New Edition with you.
66
00:02:33,775 --> 00:02:34,859
I don't know what you're talking about.
67
00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:36,736
Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike…
68
00:02:36,903 --> 00:02:38,488
BOTH: ♪ If I love the girl
Who cares who you like ♪
69
00:02:38,572 --> 00:02:40,240
Whoo! So all is forgiven?
70
00:02:40,448 --> 00:02:42,159
No! Why didn't you invite me?
71
00:02:42,243 --> 00:02:43,243
I wanted to,
72
00:02:43,327 --> 00:02:44,620
but a lot of people
in my life are crooks,
73
00:02:44,704 --> 00:02:46,580
and they think it's weird
that I'm friends with a cop.
74
00:02:46,664 --> 00:02:48,764
They just don't understand. Kind of like
75
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000
parents?
76
00:02:50,084 --> 00:02:51,377
No, no more songs.
77
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:52,921
Look, I'm having my bachelor party
78
00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:54,464
tomorrow night and I
want you to be there.
79
00:02:54,548 --> 00:02:56,132
We'll make up a criminal alias for you
80
00:02:56,216 --> 00:02:57,217
so you can meet the boys.
81
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,510
Obviously that's a super cool plan,
82
00:02:58,594 --> 00:02:59,969
but no, I don't want your pity.
83
00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:01,054
Suit yourself,
84
00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:04,350
but it's gonna be one sexy-ass weekend.
85
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:05,894
Like…
86
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,063
How sexy-ass are we talking here?
87
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,899
Private jet to Miami, baby!
88
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,107
And there's a red carpet!
89
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:13,818
Forget the red carpet. Private jet!
90
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:14,903
Yes, and a jet!
91
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:15,987
The jet is better.
92
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,573
Miami, here we come! Whoo!
93
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,950
Today is Holt's first day
94
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,285
back in his office and I wanna make sure
95
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,578
everything is just how he left it.
96
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,080
Now, I can't remember,
97
00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:26,749
was this little figurine of Cheddar
98
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:29,627
at a 45 or 50 degree angle?
99
00:03:29,711 --> 00:03:31,755
Terry, it's a five degree difference.
100
00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:33,632
You better figure it out.
101
00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,926
Ah, I missed this place.
102
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:37,678
Huh, little Cheddar's askew.
103
00:03:38,888 --> 00:03:40,389
You really made yourself at
home, didn't you, Jeffords?
104
00:03:40,473 --> 00:03:42,433
But, uh, no matter.
105
00:03:42,683 --> 00:03:44,142
Just glad to be here. [LAUGHS]
106
00:03:44,226 --> 00:03:47,980
I am a captain again.
Back where I belong.
107
00:03:48,147 --> 00:03:50,400
Everything is perfect.
108
00:03:51,985 --> 00:03:53,862
Wow. There's absolutely nothing
109
00:03:53,946 --> 00:03:55,146
that could puncture my…
110
00:03:56,406 --> 00:03:57,824
Where's the business card? What?
111
00:03:57,908 --> 00:03:59,827
The business card that was right here.
112
00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:02,079
It had a piece of gum on it.
It's very important to me.
113
00:04:02,163 --> 00:04:03,289
You didn't throw it away, did you?
114
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:04,790
Pfft! No, Terry would never
115
00:04:04,874 --> 00:04:07,084
throw away something
that looked exactly like trash.
116
00:04:07,168 --> 00:04:08,377
Good. I'll be back in half an hour.
117
00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:09,545
Make sure it's on my desk by then.
118
00:04:09,629 --> 00:04:12,800
Will do, sir. I got it. I'm on it.
119
00:04:13,175 --> 00:04:14,525
I definitely threw it away.
120
00:04:15,511 --> 00:04:16,761
DOUG JUDY: I want you to meet the guys.
121
00:04:16,845 --> 00:04:18,847
This is Nathan, Josh, and Chuck.
122
00:04:19,098 --> 00:04:21,433
This is my buddy, Sean, from prison.
How's it going, fellas?
123
00:04:21,517 --> 00:04:22,894
I've never heard you mention Sean before.
124
00:04:22,978 --> 00:04:25,313
Yeah, well, like he
said, I just got out of jail.
125
00:04:25,397 --> 00:04:27,273
Five years. Tough sentence.
What'd you do?
126
00:04:27,357 --> 00:04:29,818
Elder abuse. Got my grandpa good, so…
127
00:04:29,943 --> 00:04:31,277
Damn, that's very upsetting.
128
00:04:31,361 --> 00:04:32,738
PERALTA: Damn straight it is.
129
00:04:32,822 --> 00:04:34,031
Elder abuse?
130
00:04:34,198 --> 00:04:35,365
I was trying to think of something that
131
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,909
wouldn't inspire any follow-up questions.
132
00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:38,201
Doug Judy!
133
00:04:38,285 --> 00:04:39,328
Cubes!
134
00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:40,830
My man.
135
00:04:41,747 --> 00:04:43,248
Sean, I'd like you to meet the man
136
00:04:43,332 --> 00:04:45,084
whose private jet we are flying on today.
137
00:04:45,168 --> 00:04:46,377
Yeah, you're Mark Cuban.
138
00:04:46,461 --> 00:04:47,545
How do you guys know each other?
139
00:04:47,629 --> 00:04:48,713
Doug came on Shark Tank
140
00:04:48,797 --> 00:04:50,548
to pitch his idea for the Smush Shush.
141
00:04:50,632 --> 00:04:53,051
It's a noise-canceling
blanket for secret sex.
142
00:04:53,301 --> 00:04:55,351
The product demonstration
did not go well.
143
00:04:55,513 --> 00:04:57,598
Robert fainted. Anyway, enjoy the jet.
144
00:04:57,682 --> 00:04:59,266
Just bring it back in one piece, okay?
145
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:00,810
No promises, Mark Cuban.
146
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:02,144
I mean, we do wanna
make sure the airplane
147
00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:03,354
stays in one piece though, right?
148
00:05:03,438 --> 00:05:04,521
Nah, I saw Flight.
149
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,524
If anything goes wrong,
fly the plane upside down.
150
00:05:06,608 --> 00:05:08,193
Oh, right, I forgot about
Flight, the movie, Flight.
151
00:05:08,277 --> 00:05:09,627
All right, let's rip it up!
152
00:05:10,654 --> 00:05:11,696
What's going on here?
153
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:12,781
Oh, measuring the space.
154
00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:14,032
We finally got a work order
155
00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:15,716
approved to fix the outlet, so…
156
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:18,079
[WHISPERING] We can
get a third vending machine.
157
00:05:18,163 --> 00:05:19,163
What?
158
00:05:19,247 --> 00:05:20,331
[WHISPERS] A third vending machine.
159
00:05:20,415 --> 00:05:22,208
Why are you whispering about
getting a new vending machine?
160
00:05:22,292 --> 00:05:24,126
New vending machine! What model number?
161
00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:25,211
Oh, that's why.
162
00:05:25,295 --> 00:05:26,295
We asked you what model number.
163
00:05:26,379 --> 00:05:27,755
I don't know, a normal one
164
00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:28,882
with glass in the front.
165
00:05:28,966 --> 00:05:32,302
Seriously?
Did you even look into the DiGiSnax 600E?
166
00:05:32,386 --> 00:05:34,054
I'd be into a fancy machine, too.
167
00:05:34,138 --> 00:05:36,390
I was just reading about a Japanese one
168
00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:37,808
that serves shellfish.
169
00:05:38,142 --> 00:05:39,644
We're not getting a shellfish machine.
170
00:05:39,728 --> 00:05:41,354
Yeah, Boyle, we're
getting a smart machine
171
00:05:41,438 --> 00:05:43,564
that suggests soda pairings
based on your chip choice.
172
00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:46,234
Or one with a make-it-wet gravy feature.
173
00:05:46,318 --> 00:05:48,820
[SIGHS] Okay, look.
Why don't you get a few options together
174
00:05:48,904 --> 00:05:50,254
and then I'll decide, okay?
175
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:51,699
At least Terry's not here
176
00:05:51,783 --> 00:05:53,117
to try to make me get a yogurt machine.
177
00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:54,551
What was that about yogurt?
178
00:05:54,869 --> 00:05:57,329
This jet is insane.
There's a private chef
179
00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:58,455
that'll make anything you ask for,
180
00:05:58,539 --> 00:05:59,623
no matter how expensive.
181
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,625
I just ordered lobster enchanté.
182
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,711
Oh, damn, what's that?
183
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,462
I don't know. I just said the
fanciest words I could think of.
184
00:06:04,546 --> 00:06:06,423
Oh, I'm gonna get the
Veal Prime Minister.
185
00:06:06,507 --> 00:06:07,924
Mmm, that sounds good.
186
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:09,926
Hey, you wanna try out the Smush Shush?
187
00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:11,261
What? You have one with you?
188
00:06:11,345 --> 00:06:12,429
I take it everywhere, baby.
189
00:06:12,513 --> 00:06:13,515
Yeah, there it is.
190
00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:15,350
Yeah. So it's noise canceling?
191
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,977
[GROANING] It's so heavy.
192
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,311
It's crushing my bones.
193
00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:20,730
Yeah, that was the
Shark's problem with it, too.
194
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,148
I can't breathe. Get it off me.
195
00:06:22,232 --> 00:06:23,233
Get it off me.
196
00:06:23,358 --> 00:06:25,193
Yeah, you sound exactly
like Barbara right now.
197
00:06:25,277 --> 00:06:26,862
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Disappointed in you, Jake.
198
00:06:26,946 --> 00:06:28,321
Pilot says we're starting our descent.
199
00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:29,823
Then let's get changed, boys!
200
00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:31,491
Changed?
But these are my coolest clothes.
201
00:06:31,575 --> 00:06:32,993
I got them from a targeted Instagram ad
202
00:06:33,077 --> 00:06:34,369
after looking at photos of Cam Newton.
203
00:06:34,453 --> 00:06:36,581
The outfit's beautiful,
but it doesn't really say…
204
00:06:36,665 --> 00:06:37,665
[WHISPERS] "Miami."
205
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:39,501
What does say, "Miami"?
206
00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:40,959
[LATIN POP MUSIC PLAYING]
207
00:06:49,011 --> 00:06:51,055
Are you sure this is
culturally okay for me?
208
00:06:51,139 --> 00:06:52,739
We're gonna find out. All right.
209
00:06:55,685 --> 00:06:57,269
PERALTA: Damn, Judy, this place is nice.
210
00:06:57,353 --> 00:06:59,647
Yeah, some Russian
oligarch got the penthouse,
211
00:06:59,731 --> 00:07:01,441
but this is the second nicest room.
212
00:07:01,525 --> 00:07:03,068
Surprise!
213
00:07:03,193 --> 00:07:05,737
Trudy Judy! What you doing here?
I thought you were in prison.
214
00:07:05,821 --> 00:07:06,988
Nope, I was a real sweet pea,
215
00:07:07,072 --> 00:07:08,741
so they let me out for good behavior.
216
00:07:08,825 --> 00:07:09,825
What the hell?
217
00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:11,619
What's this narc doing here?
218
00:07:11,703 --> 00:07:12,787
[SPUTTERS] What?
219
00:07:13,872 --> 00:07:15,123
Nuh-uh!
220
00:07:20,504 --> 00:07:22,380
What the hell was that?
You almost blew my cover.
221
00:07:22,464 --> 00:07:23,799
Yeah, they're all suspicious now.
222
00:07:23,883 --> 00:07:25,759
You have to help us convince
them that Jake's not a cop.
223
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:27,469
Why?
I don't understand why you invited him.
224
00:07:27,553 --> 00:07:28,720
This was supposed to be a crazy weekend
225
00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:29,805
of boobs and butts.
226
00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:32,058
Trudy Judy, you're not gonna
see boobs or butts this weekend.
227
00:07:32,142 --> 00:07:34,269
I'll see butts if I wanna see butts.
228
00:07:34,603 --> 00:07:36,312
And Jake is here because he's my friend
229
00:07:36,396 --> 00:07:37,480
and he really wanted to come.
230
00:07:37,564 --> 00:07:39,357
No, he's up to something.
231
00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:40,691
He's probably here to arrest Chuck.
232
00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:42,069
I would never arrest Chuck.
233
00:07:42,153 --> 00:07:43,403
But, I mean, why'd you say that?
What did Chuck do?
234
00:07:43,487 --> 00:07:46,323
Wow. Cops always be copping.
235
00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:47,616
That's not true. I do bad things.
236
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,743
One time I illegally
downloaded an O-Town album.
237
00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:51,245
Dang, that's one of
the hardest boy bands.
238
00:07:51,329 --> 00:07:53,790
Exactly, they're scary.
Look, I can be cool.
239
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,500
As long as nobody
commits any major crimes
240
00:07:55,584 --> 00:07:56,584
in front of me.
241
00:07:56,668 --> 00:07:58,878
It's not a problem. We don't
have to break the law to have fun.
242
00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:00,588
We gonna have some
drinks, smoke some Cubans,
243
00:08:00,672 --> 00:08:02,590
eat a steak, either
crazy big or crazy small,
244
00:08:02,674 --> 00:08:03,800
whichever's more expensive.
245
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,678
I'd rather see butts.
246
00:08:05,762 --> 00:08:07,555
Fine, if I let you see butts,
247
00:08:07,805 --> 00:08:10,015
will you convince the
guys that Jake's not a cop?
248
00:08:10,099 --> 00:08:11,267
How many butts are we talking?
249
00:08:11,351 --> 00:08:12,351
Six. Ten.
250
00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:13,602
Seven. Nine.
251
00:08:13,686 --> 00:08:14,854
Fine, eight. I'll meet you in the middle.
Nah, you waited too long.
252
00:08:14,938 --> 00:08:16,106
Now it's up to 14. Fourteen butts?
253
00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:18,275
TRUDY JUDY: Mmm-hmm. She's a grown woman.
Just let her see butts, man.
254
00:08:18,359 --> 00:08:19,609
Thank you, Jake. Thank you for coming
255
00:08:19,693 --> 00:08:20,735
to my aid on the butt thing.
256
00:08:20,819 --> 00:08:22,946
One step closer to trust.
Now I'ma go out there
257
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:24,030
and help your fedora-wearing
258
00:08:24,114 --> 00:08:25,157
Jason Mraz-looking ass, okay?
259
00:08:25,241 --> 00:08:26,784
I think I look like
Andy Garcia in this hat.
260
00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:27,869
You look like Seth Green.
261
00:08:27,953 --> 00:08:29,329
Seth Green? No, Tom Green.
262
00:08:29,537 --> 00:08:30,788
You're thinking of Tom Green. Tom Green.
263
00:08:30,872 --> 00:08:33,291
Tom Green? No, go back to Jason Mraz.
264
00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:37,922
Okay, so, Holt's gum-covered
business card is long gone.
265
00:08:38,047 --> 00:08:39,548
But I have a plan.
266
00:08:39,632 --> 00:08:40,674
Great, what's the scheme?
267
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:43,260
Well, when I first moved
in, I took a couple selfies
268
00:08:43,344 --> 00:08:45,221
to commemorate getting my own office.
269
00:08:45,805 --> 00:08:46,805
A couple?
270
00:08:46,889 --> 00:08:48,892
Oh, please.
Like you don't have any selfies.
271
00:08:48,976 --> 00:08:50,376
Let me see your camera roll.
272
00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:53,938
Zero photos? That's so much weirder.
273
00:08:54,022 --> 00:08:55,774
Thank you. Anyway, look.
274
00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,233
If you zoom in enough,
275
00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:58,735
you can see the business card.
276
00:08:58,819 --> 00:09:00,779
We can recreate it and print a new one.
277
00:09:00,863 --> 00:09:02,657
Wait, does that say "Zeff Wilcox"?
278
00:09:02,782 --> 00:09:05,034
Zeff? No, it's probably Jeff.
279
00:09:05,118 --> 00:09:06,619
You know, like a normal human name.
280
00:09:06,703 --> 00:09:07,803
Names are all made up.
281
00:09:07,912 --> 00:09:09,862
There's no such thing as a normal name.
282
00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:11,208
"Terry."
283
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:14,167
I am not putting "Zeff" on that card.
It's your funeral.
284
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:15,295
Have you found my business card?
285
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:19,633
Uh, you know what, I actually
brought it home by accident.
286
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,679
I got confused because I
know someone with that name.
287
00:09:22,846 --> 00:09:24,097
You know another Zeff?
288
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,431
[CHUCKLES]
289
00:09:25,515 --> 00:09:28,727
Yeah, he's married to
Sharon's friend, Zudy.
290
00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:31,020
We have dinner with Zeff
and Zudy once a month.
291
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,480
You know, I'm gonna go home and get it.
292
00:09:32,564 --> 00:09:34,114
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Excuse me.
293
00:09:36,235 --> 00:09:37,735
[WHISPERS] I think they swing.
294
00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:40,489
So in the end, it's more
than a vending machine.
295
00:09:40,656 --> 00:09:42,532
It's a vending experience.
296
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,912
A vending experience that
serves fried octopus balls?
297
00:09:45,996 --> 00:09:48,915
It also serves eel balls
and clam balls and…
298
00:09:49,666 --> 00:09:51,125
It's really just the
three kinds of balls.
299
00:09:51,209 --> 00:09:53,628
Oh, okay. On that horrifying note,
300
00:09:53,795 --> 00:09:55,381
Scully and Hitchcock, it's your turn.
301
00:09:55,465 --> 00:09:58,176
Allow me to introduce you to the Q3400.
302
00:09:58,676 --> 00:10:00,845
"She's got it all. Chips, candy, soda,
303
00:10:01,012 --> 00:10:02,054
"and a whole lot of class."
304
00:10:02,138 --> 00:10:03,597
"That sounds great for snacking,
305
00:10:03,681 --> 00:10:05,849
"but what if I'm stuck
working late at the office?"
306
00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:08,187
"How about a
personal-sized frozen pizza?"
307
00:10:08,312 --> 00:10:10,355
"And then what? I have to carry it
308
00:10:10,439 --> 00:10:12,816
"all the way over to the
microwave on my own?
309
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:13,900
"Who has the time?"
310
00:10:13,984 --> 00:10:15,360
Well, you're in luck, because…"
311
00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:17,404
I get it! It cooks the pizza for you.
312
00:10:17,488 --> 00:10:19,157
It cooks the pizza for you.
313
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,325
BOTH: ♪ And you know ♪
314
00:10:21,409 --> 00:10:24,537
♪ It ain't fiction, it's a natural fact ♪
315
00:10:24,621 --> 00:10:26,372
♪ Whoo, we come together ♪
316
00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:32,755
[OFF KEY] ♪ 'Cause opposites attract ♪
317
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,217
No applause? Wow.
318
00:10:36,342 --> 00:10:38,385
I'm still just a little confused.
Who is Sean, really?
319
00:10:38,469 --> 00:10:40,346
Why'd your sister say he was a narc?
Is he a cop?
320
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:41,472
He's not a cop. He caught me
321
00:10:41,556 --> 00:10:43,308
cheating on my boyfriend and he snitched.
322
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,185
It was a real dick move,
but I have since forgiven him.
323
00:10:46,269 --> 00:10:48,187
It's just weird that none of us
have ever heard of him before.
324
00:10:48,271 --> 00:10:50,148
And we're paranoid because Doug still
325
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,608
has that cop friend in the NYPD.
326
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,152
That dude is not my friend. Yeah.
327
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,278
He dumb as hell. Yeah.
328
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,988
I'm always tricking him.
Well, not every time.
329
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,823
Plus, he's short.
Everyone's short to you. You're a giant.
330
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:58,907
Probably never even had sex.
331
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,117
Seems unlikely. He's an adult.
332
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,869
But the point is, I'm Sean. Tall Sean.
333
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,788
Okay, well, I'm glad to
hear you're not a narc,
334
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,582
'cause it'd have been
real awkward considering
335
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,126
what we did earlier. Huh?
336
00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,835
While you were checking
in, we stole $10 million
337
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,962
worth of diamonds from that rich
Russian dude in the penthouse!
338
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,714
[LAUGHS] Bling, bling, baby!
339
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,761
You idiots. He's NYPD.
That's Doug's cop friend.
340
00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:21,391
Wow.
Way to ruin Doug's bachelor party, Trudy.
341
00:11:21,599 --> 00:11:24,049
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
What a buzzkill, right, guys?
342
00:11:30,734 --> 00:11:32,527
I knew it was a mistake to invite a cop.
343
00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:33,695
That's why you should only interact
344
00:11:33,779 --> 00:11:35,615
with people who are
exactly the same as you.
345
00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:36,824
That's a terrible lesson.
346
00:11:36,908 --> 00:11:37,909
Sometimes things aren't lessons.
347
00:11:37,993 --> 00:11:39,577
Sometimes things are
just messed up facts.
348
00:11:39,661 --> 00:11:41,954
Guys, relax, Jake wasn't
gonna arrest anybody.
349
00:11:42,038 --> 00:11:43,039
No, I definitely was.
350
00:11:43,123 --> 00:11:45,124
With what evidence?
The diamonds aren't even here.
351
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:46,752
They confessed right in front of me.
352
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:47,878
Why would you pull a heist
353
00:11:47,962 --> 00:11:49,046
in the middle of my bachelor party?
354
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,172
You pulled a heist during my wedding.
355
00:11:50,256 --> 00:11:52,174
[SHUSHES] He's a cop, man.
Come on, chill.
356
00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:53,634
Judy. Come on, guys.
What are we gonna do?
357
00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:54,843
I say we tie this narc up,
358
00:11:54,927 --> 00:11:55,928
leave him to starve,
359
00:11:56,012 --> 00:11:57,054
and disappear with the diamonds.
360
00:11:57,138 --> 00:11:58,473
Chuck. We're not doing that.
361
00:11:58,557 --> 00:12:00,058
Thank you. It'll ruin my bachelor party.
362
00:12:00,142 --> 00:12:02,435
That's your issue with it?
I put a lot of work into this weekend.
363
00:12:02,519 --> 00:12:04,312
I got us all shirts that
say, "Doug's Dudes."
364
00:12:04,396 --> 00:12:06,106
Ooh. Sorry, but what's done is done.
365
00:12:06,190 --> 00:12:07,399
It's not like we can
put the diamonds back.
366
00:12:07,483 --> 00:12:09,068
Hold up, that's a great idea.
367
00:12:09,152 --> 00:12:10,569
We pull a reverse heist.
368
00:12:10,653 --> 00:12:12,238
Does the Russian know
his diamonds are missing?
369
00:12:12,322 --> 00:12:13,406
No, we swapped them for fakes.
370
00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:16,200
Perfect, that means he hasn't reported it.
No harm, no foul.
371
00:12:16,284 --> 00:12:18,327
Okay, wait.
I mean, obviously I love the premise
372
00:12:18,411 --> 00:12:20,372
and I think a reverse heist
would make for a great movie
373
00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:21,540
and I already have the tag line,
374
00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:23,824
"This summer there are takebacks."
Love that.
375
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,627
The poster would be you and me
back-to-back with our arms crossed,
376
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,921
but no, I'm not on board with this.
I'm a cop.
377
00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:29,840
And a cop's job is to prevent crime
378
00:12:29,924 --> 00:12:31,175
and that's what you'd be doing.
379
00:12:31,259 --> 00:12:33,011
Please, Jake. For me?
380
00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:36,681
Okay, fine.
'Cause it's your bachelor party
381
00:12:36,765 --> 00:12:39,016
and only if I see them
put back with my own eyes.
382
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,436
Yes! Deal. Reverse heist, baby.
383
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,480
The Takeback. Coming this fall to HBO.
384
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:46,664
It's a TV show now? Well,
that's where all the best content is.
385
00:12:49,111 --> 00:12:50,112
So what do you think?
386
00:12:50,196 --> 00:12:52,823
Which gum looks the most
like the one from the picture?
387
00:12:52,907 --> 00:12:54,200
Two pink, too wet, too small,
388
00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:55,285
too chewed, too smooth,
389
00:12:55,369 --> 00:12:56,828
too wet, all wrong, too pink,
390
00:12:56,912 --> 00:12:58,246
too fresh, too dirty, too clean.
391
00:12:58,330 --> 00:12:59,414
None of these work. You struck out.
392
00:12:59,498 --> 00:13:01,040
We don't have any time. What do we do?
393
00:13:01,124 --> 00:13:02,208
I don't know. Pick one and pray.
394
00:13:02,292 --> 00:13:05,213
Uh, I'm gonna go with you.
395
00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:07,006
Not that one.
396
00:13:08,258 --> 00:13:09,259
This one.
397
00:13:10,051 --> 00:13:12,387
Hmm.
It's a little less pink than I recall.
398
00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:15,723
But I suppose we exaggerate
the beauty of those we love.
399
00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,934
[LAUGHS] It's good to
have you back, old friend.
400
00:13:18,018 --> 00:13:19,936
Can I ask why that card is so important?
401
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,605
Because of Zeff Wilcox.
402
00:13:21,814 --> 00:13:23,914
He was a victim in
the first case I worked.
403
00:13:24,066 --> 00:13:25,484
I always want to remember him.
404
00:13:25,568 --> 00:13:27,361
That's nice.
And the words he wrote on the back.
405
00:13:27,445 --> 00:13:28,745
The back… Say what, now?
406
00:13:29,322 --> 00:13:30,740
Why is this blank?
407
00:13:31,825 --> 00:13:34,119
I threw it away. I thought it was trash.
408
00:13:34,286 --> 00:13:36,078
I didn't know you kept it to
remember someone you helped.
409
00:13:36,162 --> 00:13:38,207
I didn't help Zeff, I failed Zeff.
410
00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:39,791
His case was never solved.
411
00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:43,087
The words written on the
back were, "Thanks for nothing."
412
00:13:43,588 --> 00:13:44,796
Oh, man, that's rough.
413
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,924
I have held onto that card for 30 years
414
00:13:47,008 --> 00:13:48,717
because I always wanted
to remember what it felt like
415
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:51,051
to let someone down,
so I'd never do it again.
416
00:13:51,138 --> 00:13:54,433
That card made me the cop I am today.
417
00:13:54,683 --> 00:13:58,520
Without it… I'm lost.
418
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,191
Since this seems important
now, I want to be clear.
419
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,817
This is Terry's thing, I've
just been along for the ride.
420
00:14:03,901 --> 00:14:05,111
Rosa! Noted.
421
00:14:05,987 --> 00:14:07,488
So tell us how you stole the diamonds,
422
00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:08,572
so we can just reverse it.
423
00:14:08,656 --> 00:14:10,407
Won't work.
We took them from the luggage downstairs,
424
00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:12,494
posing as bellhops.
It was a one-time opportunity.
425
00:14:12,578 --> 00:14:14,204
And now the fakes are locked in the safe
426
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,705
in a bodyguard protected suite.
427
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:18,833
Well lucky for you, I have a
long past in heist planning.
428
00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:20,753
It's how I proposed to my wife.
429
00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:22,838
That's a great story.
Makes me cry every time.
430
00:14:22,922 --> 00:14:24,549
Oh, thank you.
Well, I guess I'll tell it.
431
00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:26,968
You see, once a year, at Halloween…
432
00:14:27,218 --> 00:14:28,469
I can tell that I'm losing the room.
433
00:14:28,553 --> 00:14:30,012
I'll just move on. [CLEARS THROAT]
434
00:14:30,096 --> 00:14:32,682
So here's how our thing is gonna go.
435
00:14:33,058 --> 00:14:35,060
Every hotel safe has an override code,
436
00:14:35,144 --> 00:14:36,562
in case guests leave them locked.
437
00:14:36,646 --> 00:14:39,022
That code is kept on
the concierge's computer.
438
00:14:39,106 --> 00:14:42,317
[CLEARS THROAT] Do you know who this is?
This is Matt Daniel,
439
00:14:42,401 --> 00:14:45,238
the most popular male
ASMR performer on Twitch.
440
00:14:45,322 --> 00:14:48,324
ASMR performer?
Someone who speaks real soft.
441
00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:49,534
[SOFTLY] I also crinkle paper.
442
00:14:49,618 --> 00:14:50,827
We're trying to stream
443
00:14:50,911 --> 00:14:52,036
and the noise on the eighth floor
444
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,121
is unacceptable.
445
00:14:53,205 --> 00:14:55,355
[SOFTLY] My fans can't
hear my mouth sounds.
446
00:14:55,707 --> 00:14:57,084
I'm so sorry, I can't hear you.
447
00:14:57,168 --> 00:14:58,168
That's the point, Georgina.
448
00:14:58,252 --> 00:14:59,461
He says that's the point, Georgina.
449
00:14:59,545 --> 00:15:03,299
This is taking too long. Make a video.
Tell your 25 million subscribers
450
00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:05,259
to never stay at this crap hotel.
451
00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:07,137
No, no, no. I'll take care of it.
452
00:15:07,221 --> 00:15:08,921
Let me talk to my general manager.
453
00:15:09,181 --> 00:15:11,182
[SOFTLY] You better run.
Matt, don't yell.
454
00:15:11,266 --> 00:15:13,016
You'll strain your beautiful voice.
455
00:15:13,185 --> 00:15:14,644
PERALTA: Once we hack into the computer
456
00:15:14,728 --> 00:15:15,854
and get the override code,
457
00:15:15,938 --> 00:15:17,606
Trudy will put on a housekeeper's uniform
458
00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:20,192
and I will gracefully hide in her cart.
459
00:15:20,276 --> 00:15:21,277
I got it myself.
460
00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:25,156
PERALTA: Then, after the
Russian goes out for the night,
461
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,158
Trudy will show up for turn-down service
462
00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:29,160
and I sneak out when
the guards are distracted
463
00:15:29,244 --> 00:15:31,330
by Trudy's signature sexy housekeeping.
464
00:15:31,414 --> 00:15:32,873
[MOANING]
465
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,667
PERALTA: Trudy will then exit,
leaving me behind in the suite
466
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:38,086
so I can unlock the balcony
door for Chuck and Doug,
467
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,255
who are waiting outside
on the window washer's rig.
468
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,300
Chuck will bring the
stolen diamonds and I'll use
469
00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:44,469
the override code to put
them back where they belong.
470
00:15:44,553 --> 00:15:47,305
Then, we head down to the
room where we party like hell.
471
00:15:47,389 --> 00:15:48,682
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
472
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:52,311
Trudy Judy…
473
00:15:52,395 --> 00:15:54,897
It's exactly 14, just like you promised.
474
00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:56,315
You did promise her butts.
475
00:15:56,399 --> 00:15:57,608
-[SOFTLY] I know.
-[SOFTLY] Yeah.
476
00:15:57,692 --> 00:16:00,445
SCULLY: Mmm.
The smell of fresh cooked pizza.
477
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,321
Where are we? Rome, Italy?
478
00:16:02,405 --> 00:16:04,699
Guys, you got the vending
machine you wanted.
479
00:16:04,783 --> 00:16:06,493
You can stop with the play acting.
480
00:16:06,577 --> 00:16:07,619
BOYLE: I don't think that's scripted.
481
00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:09,454
That's just them talking about pizza.
482
00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:10,873
SCULLY: Yum, yum, yum.
483
00:16:11,331 --> 00:16:14,085
Man, I shouldn't have pushed
for the fish ball machine.
484
00:16:14,294 --> 00:16:15,586
I should've just played it safe
485
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,338
and gone for the fish cake machine.
486
00:16:17,422 --> 00:16:19,548
So you don't think the
fish part was the problem?
487
00:16:19,632 --> 00:16:20,633
I don't.
488
00:16:20,717 --> 00:16:21,967
SANTIAGO: Well, at least they're happy.
489
00:16:22,051 --> 00:16:23,052
Look at 'em.
490
00:16:23,136 --> 00:16:25,806
-[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
-[SCULLY AND HITCHCOCK SCREAMING]
491
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:27,016
SCULLY: My pizza!
492
00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:29,101
TRUDY JUDY: Ooh. You did it, Peralta.
493
00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:30,519
You pulled off the reverse heist.
494
00:16:30,603 --> 00:16:32,437
This whole time I
thought you were a bitch.
495
00:16:32,521 --> 00:16:35,065
But truth is, you're actually that bitch!
496
00:16:35,232 --> 00:16:37,694
-He is, isn't he? He's that bitch.
-TRUDY JUDY: Mmm-hmm.
497
00:16:37,778 --> 00:16:39,195
I don't know if I want
that nickname to stick.
498
00:16:39,279 --> 00:16:41,531
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-Ooh, I hope my butts are back.
499
00:16:41,615 --> 00:16:44,242
DOUG JUDY: I do not like how
butts have become your thing, Trudy.
500
00:16:44,326 --> 00:16:45,410
You used to love horses.
501
00:16:45,494 --> 00:16:46,494
Horses have butts.
502
00:16:46,578 --> 00:16:48,956
Guys, it's not butts. I'm so sorry, Doug.
503
00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:50,499
Miami PD!
504
00:16:50,583 --> 00:16:51,625
It's just those three back there.
505
00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:52,918
OFFICER: Hands on the table.
506
00:16:53,002 --> 00:16:54,044
Jake, what the hell?
507
00:16:54,128 --> 00:16:55,630
Cops always be copping.
508
00:16:59,301 --> 00:17:01,136
Hey! Hey there, friends.
509
00:17:01,345 --> 00:17:03,304
I tried to flag down your
taxi as you were leaving
510
00:17:03,388 --> 00:17:04,764
the police station.
It was actually funny,
511
00:17:04,848 --> 00:17:06,015
'cause we made a lot of eye contact,
512
00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,101
but you just drove off.
Anyways, I'm here now.
513
00:17:08,185 --> 00:17:10,104
We can go.
You want us to take you back to New York
514
00:17:10,188 --> 00:17:11,564
after you got my friends arrested?
515
00:17:11,648 --> 00:17:12,982
Nah-uh, you flying commercial, son.
516
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,066
DOUG JUDY: I hope you get a middle seat.
517
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:15,276
I hope they charge
you for your carry-ons.
518
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,527
I hope you sit next to someone chatty.
519
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:18,028
Someone going through
something real hard.
520
00:17:18,112 --> 00:17:19,447
I hope the pilot makes
an announcement during
521
00:17:19,531 --> 00:17:21,408
the emotional climax of
the movie you're watching.
522
00:17:21,492 --> 00:17:22,659
Ooh, you nasty!
523
00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,078
Damn, Doug and Trudy Judy.
524
00:17:24,245 --> 00:17:26,204
Look, I'm sorry, but
it was grand larceny.
525
00:17:26,288 --> 00:17:27,748
I couldn't just let
them get away with it.
526
00:17:27,832 --> 00:17:29,082
Well, if you were gonna
arrest them anyway,
527
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:30,417
why bother with the reverse heist?
528
00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:32,420
It's like Trudy said.
We didn't have the diamonds.
529
00:17:32,504 --> 00:17:33,588
It wasn't enough evidence.
530
00:17:33,672 --> 00:17:36,048
But we put them back.
Yeah, only because I was there.
531
00:17:36,132 --> 00:17:37,884
Not to mention the fact
that I was fully complicit.
532
00:17:37,968 --> 00:17:39,761
I could've gone to jail.
Wait, we destroyed your phone.
533
00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:40,845
How did you call for backup?
534
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:44,016
That was actually easy. When Doug
was distracted, yelling at the concierge…
535
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,434
Let me talk to my general manager.
536
00:17:45,518 --> 00:17:48,061
PERALTA: I swapped out
my waterlogged phone for his.
537
00:17:48,145 --> 00:17:50,105
Damn, I would've noticed
that if I wasn't trying
538
00:17:50,189 --> 00:17:52,316
to live in the moment and
not look at my phone so much.
539
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,360
And then when I was hidden
in the cart, I called the cops.
540
00:17:54,444 --> 00:17:56,154
Mmm, impossible. I would've heard you.
541
00:17:56,238 --> 00:17:57,447
Not with the Smush Shush!
542
00:17:57,531 --> 00:17:58,656
[WHISPERS] This is Jake Peralta.
543
00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:00,158
I'm a detective with the NYPD.
544
00:18:00,242 --> 00:18:01,910
[GROANS] Foot cramp, foot cramp.
545
00:18:02,327 --> 00:18:04,037
First of all, how dare you?
546
00:18:04,204 --> 00:18:06,373
Second of all, will you
call Barbara Corcoran
547
00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:08,125
and tell her that this
product is not useless?
548
00:18:08,209 --> 00:18:09,251
I don't know her.
549
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:10,920
I'm sorry that I betrayed you, Doug,
550
00:18:11,004 --> 00:18:12,671
but I'm a cop. I didn't have a choice.
551
00:18:12,755 --> 00:18:14,131
We can still be friends, right?
552
00:18:14,215 --> 00:18:17,365
I don't know. Did you even illegally
download that O-Town album?
553
00:18:18,762 --> 00:18:19,763
No. [SCOFFS]
554
00:18:19,847 --> 00:18:21,139
I bought it at their concert.
555
00:18:21,223 --> 00:18:22,891
It came bundled with a sweatshirt.
556
00:18:22,975 --> 00:18:24,100
You make me sick.
557
00:18:24,184 --> 00:18:25,185
Disgusting.
558
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:28,940
Doug! Trudy! Judys!
559
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:32,777
Hey, sir.
I'm sure you're still mad at us.
560
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,529
Just you, not Diaz.
561
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,282
Okay, well, I can't get that card back,
562
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,707
but I did bring you these.
563
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,246
They're business cards
of people you've helped.
564
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,041
One mistake did not make
you the cop you are today.
565
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,919
Thirty years of service
to the community did.
566
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,504
That should be your motivation.
567
00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:51,005
I know you can't
remember their names, but…
568
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,299
Alex Chen.
569
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,385
I do remember him. 36-year-old male,
570
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,971
carjacked at the corner of
7th Avenue and 11th Street.
571
00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,683
Had three siblings,
Alice, Arlene, and Anna.
572
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,268
Okay, so you remember Alex Chen.
573
00:19:02,352 --> 00:19:04,354
Yes, and I really helped him.
574
00:19:04,896 --> 00:19:06,564
Perhaps he'll be my new Zeff.
575
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:09,316
Welcome back, Captain Holt. I'm
really glad we could help you with this.
576
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,277
Oh, no, you're not gonna
just jump back in here
577
00:19:11,361 --> 00:19:12,487
now that it all worked out!
578
00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:14,156
Thank you, Diaz. No!
579
00:19:14,281 --> 00:19:16,449
No, thank Terry. I did this!
580
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,118
Oh, I'm done. You know what,
581
00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:19,911
I did all of this. This was all me!
582
00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:21,163
This is ridiculous!
583
00:19:23,541 --> 00:19:24,876
We barely got to know her.
584
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,043
HITCHCOCK: And now we never will.
585
00:19:26,127 --> 00:19:27,336
I feel so bad for them,
586
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:28,629
but what do you say to someone
587
00:19:28,713 --> 00:19:30,089
that's suffered this kind of loss?
588
00:19:30,173 --> 00:19:32,633
I mean, it's kind of on
them for not checking
589
00:19:32,717 --> 00:19:35,304
the voltage on a machine
that had a built-in air-fryer.
590
00:19:35,388 --> 00:19:36,788
Don't blame the victim, Amy.
591
00:19:37,056 --> 00:19:38,390
BOYLE: Okay, guys, look.
I know this is sad,
592
00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:40,309
but maybe everything
happens for a reason.
593
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:41,768
What reason could there possibly be
594
00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:43,020
for the pain I'm feeling?
595
00:19:43,104 --> 00:19:45,106
Look, I probably shouldn't
be telling you this because
596
00:19:45,190 --> 00:19:46,232
I know you'll abuse it,
597
00:19:46,316 --> 00:19:48,193
but when there's no third machine,
598
00:19:48,443 --> 00:19:49,778
you can come back here
599
00:19:51,113 --> 00:19:52,364
and do this.
600
00:19:55,617 --> 00:19:57,217
Everything happens for a reason.
601
00:19:57,412 --> 00:19:59,038
Peralta! You have to see this.
602
00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:04,627
Guy got brought in this morning.
603
00:20:04,711 --> 00:20:05,711
Look what we found on him.
604
00:20:05,795 --> 00:20:07,004
Yeah, I get it, Rosa.
605
00:20:07,088 --> 00:20:09,090
Every perp in the city
is invited and I'm not.
606
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:13,012
But I…
Wait a minute, why is my name on this?
607
00:20:13,554 --> 00:20:15,604
'Cause you're coming
to the wedding, baby!
608
00:20:16,265 --> 00:20:17,849
What's going on?
You're not mad at me anymore?
609
00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:18,935
I arrested your best man.
610
00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:20,436
Just like I wanted you to.
611
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,730
I was putting on a show in front of Trudy.
What?
612
00:20:22,814 --> 00:20:24,523
Katherine, my fiancée,
613
00:20:24,607 --> 00:20:26,817
doesn't want any of my crook
friends coming to the wedding.
614
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,235
She's a federal judge,
how would that look?
615
00:20:28,319 --> 00:20:30,197
Okay, but couldn't you just
tell them they're not invited?
616
00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:32,616
Uh, that's an uncomfortable
conversation to have.
617
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,100
It was much easier this way.
618
00:20:34,493 --> 00:20:37,788
Oh, my God.
This whole thing was a set up?
619
00:20:37,872 --> 00:20:39,998
[CHUCKLES] You wanted
me to find that invitation.
620
00:20:40,082 --> 00:20:41,876
Mmm-hmm.
You knew I would never go on a trip
621
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,711
with a bunch of crooks
unless I felt unwanted.
622
00:20:43,795 --> 00:20:44,796
Classic negging.
623
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,298
I bet you planned to have
your bachelor party at that hotel
624
00:20:47,382 --> 00:20:48,883
because you knew the
oligarch was staying there.
625
00:20:48,967 --> 00:20:50,969
Hell, yeah, otherwise I
would've got an Airbnb.
626
00:20:51,053 --> 00:20:52,346
And as soon as your
friends committed a crime,
627
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,098
you banked on me needing to arrest them.
628
00:20:54,182 --> 00:20:55,933
Damn right.
You're the most consistent person
629
00:20:56,017 --> 00:20:58,394
in my life, Peralta.
I can always count on you.
630
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,521
But, there is one detail you missed.
631
00:21:00,605 --> 00:21:02,773
You never saw what I was painting
632
00:21:02,857 --> 00:21:03,942
on the inside of my mug
633
00:21:04,026 --> 00:21:05,076
at the pottery place.
634
00:21:06,278 --> 00:21:07,946
PERALTA: "Will you be my best man"?
635
00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:09,447
Judy, is this for real?
636
00:21:09,531 --> 00:21:10,532
It ain't fiction.
637
00:21:10,616 --> 00:21:13,493
-♪ Just a natural fact ♪
-What?
638
00:21:13,577 --> 00:21:14,620
BOTH: ♪ We come together ♪
639
00:21:14,704 --> 00:21:17,790
-♪ 'Cause opposites attract ♪
-I'll do it!
640
00:21:17,874 --> 00:21:18,875
[EXCLAIMS]
641
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,877
BOTH: ♪ I'm MC Kat on the rap
so, mic it ♪
642
00:21:21,961 --> 00:21:23,796
♪ Here's a little story
and you're sure to like it ♪
643
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,215
The worst rap! [LAUGHS]