1
00:00:07,139 --> 00:00:08,264
-Clear in the back.
-PERALTA: Copy.
2
00:00:08,348 --> 00:00:09,698
All clear on the main hall.
3
00:00:09,892 --> 00:00:11,394
Clear. Clear.
4
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,105
The service road a quarter
mile away is also clear.
5
00:00:15,565 --> 00:00:17,465
Hold on. There's a pigeon approaching.
6
00:00:17,776 --> 00:00:18,902
Hold the mission.
7
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,070
[COOING]
8
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,156
Shoo.
9
00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,450
Shoo. Shoo.
10
00:00:23,658 --> 00:00:24,659
Shoo.
11
00:00:24,744 --> 00:00:26,544
Great work with that pidge, Officer.
12
00:00:26,913 --> 00:00:28,664
Detectives, switch to channel five.
13
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,292
Anyone else getting a sense Holt's upset
14
00:00:31,376 --> 00:00:32,669
about the new captain coming tomorrow?
15
00:00:32,753 --> 00:00:34,004
It's bad. This morning he sighed
16
00:00:34,088 --> 00:00:35,714
for the entire length
of our elevator ride.
17
00:00:35,798 --> 00:00:38,427
[SIGHING]
18
00:00:41,096 --> 00:00:43,696
I wonder who Wuntch is
gonna stick us with this time.
19
00:00:44,351 --> 00:00:45,351
Clear. Clear.
20
00:00:45,435 --> 00:00:46,686
PERALTA: I'm sure
it'll be someone terrible.
21
00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:48,063
But we've had bad bosses before,
22
00:00:48,147 --> 00:00:49,440
and we've always
managed to get rid of them.
23
00:00:49,524 --> 00:00:50,524
-Let's just do that again.
-DIAZ: Hey, listen,
24
00:00:50,608 --> 00:00:51,651
I'm taking this weekend off.
25
00:00:51,735 --> 00:00:53,278
Do you think you can have the
new captain gone by Monday?
26
00:00:53,362 --> 00:00:54,404
I'm kind of over meeting new people.
27
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,407
Gone by Monday. Challenge accepted.
28
00:00:58,034 --> 00:00:59,536
Clear. Clear.
29
00:01:06,253 --> 00:01:07,253
DIAZ: We got a runner!
30
00:01:07,337 --> 00:01:08,421
NYPD! Freeze!
31
00:01:08,838 --> 00:01:09,924
[GRUNTS]
32
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,053
Taking down the bad guys
without breaking up our convo.
33
00:01:14,179 --> 00:01:16,014
That's how we do it in the Nine-Nine.
34
00:01:16,098 --> 00:01:17,223
You're going in the wrong direction.
35
00:01:17,307 --> 00:01:18,642
Damn it, all these
hallways look the same.
36
00:01:18,726 --> 00:01:19,977
That was such a cool walk off.
37
00:01:20,061 --> 00:01:22,063
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
38
00:01:40,043 --> 00:01:41,546
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
39
00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:46,426
'Sup?
40
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:47,511
What is happening?
41
00:01:47,595 --> 00:01:48,845
Well, with the new captain coming in,
42
00:01:48,929 --> 00:01:50,515
this is my chance to reinvent myself.
43
00:01:50,599 --> 00:01:52,683
So say hello to Chuck Boyle,
44
00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,310
office badass. Wait a minute.
45
00:01:54,394 --> 00:01:56,772
Is that Rosa's jacket?
And follow up question,
46
00:01:56,856 --> 00:01:58,357
does Rosa's jacket fit you perfectly?
47
00:01:58,441 --> 00:01:59,609
[SCOFFS] You tell me.
48
00:01:59,693 --> 00:02:01,486
You know, you can't
just put on a leather jacket
49
00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:02,820
and become a badass.
50
00:02:02,904 --> 00:02:05,199
You also need a chunky
bracelet with fringe. Wrong.
51
00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:06,659
Ever since Rosa gave me this baby,
52
00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:08,453
people have been
treating me like I'm cool.
53
00:02:08,537 --> 00:02:09,538
The girl at the coffee shop
54
00:02:09,622 --> 00:02:10,872
even got my name on the cup right.
55
00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,708
It says Charles, not Cassie.
56
00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:14,418
SANTIAGO: You know, I
think it's less about the jacket
57
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,087
and more about the fact
that you're feeling confident.
58
00:02:16,171 --> 00:02:18,674
Maybe this cool version of
Charles was in there all along.
59
00:02:18,758 --> 00:02:20,384
Amy, I love you, but that's insane.
60
00:02:20,468 --> 00:02:22,345
It's a magic jacket. Okay.
61
00:02:22,429 --> 00:02:23,471
So just to be clear,
you think we're dealing
62
00:02:23,555 --> 00:02:25,557
with a Sisterhood of the
Traveling Pants situation here?
63
00:02:25,641 --> 00:02:27,268
Don't know. Not familiar.
64
00:02:27,352 --> 00:02:28,352
You made me watch it.
65
00:02:28,436 --> 00:02:30,981
Look, there's no point in rebranding
yourself for the new captain.
66
00:02:31,065 --> 00:02:32,440
Or should I say "craptain"
67
00:02:32,524 --> 00:02:34,234
because they're not gonna
be here for very long anyways,
68
00:02:34,318 --> 00:02:35,319
-remember?
-HOLT: Peralta, stop it.
69
00:02:35,403 --> 00:02:36,904
I don't wanna hear you
badmouthing my replacement
70
00:02:36,988 --> 00:02:38,823
around the office. Do it surreptitiously.
71
00:02:38,907 --> 00:02:39,909
Watch this.
72
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,244
I hear the new captain's a pill popper.
73
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,328
They're on the way up.
74
00:02:43,412 --> 00:02:44,539
Everyone, hide your pills.
75
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:45,707
Brace yourselves.
76
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,502
You're about to look
into the face of pure evil.
77
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:49,636
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
78
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,256
Ah!
Good morning, good morning, good morning.
79
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,550
I'm Captain Julie Kim.
80
00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:55,677
And I'm Chuck. You want results?
81
00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,161
Stay the hell out of my way.
82
00:02:58,056 --> 00:03:01,517
Okay. Well, I guess I know
who the office badass is.
83
00:03:01,601 --> 00:03:02,894
Anyway, I just wanna say
84
00:03:02,978 --> 00:03:04,855
how excited I am to be
here at the Nine-Nine.
85
00:03:04,939 --> 00:03:06,482
I heard that best
things about this place.
86
00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:08,860
From who? Madeline Wuntch, perchance?
87
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:09,986
Oh, I've actually never spoken
88
00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:11,155
to Acting Commissioner Wuntch.
89
00:03:11,239 --> 00:03:12,281
I requested the posting
90
00:03:12,365 --> 00:03:13,449
through the COP's office.
91
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,994
I didn't prepare a speech,
but a little about me.
92
00:03:16,078 --> 00:03:17,829
I was the first female
93
00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:19,372
Asian-American captain in the NYPD.
94
00:03:19,456 --> 00:03:21,167
My guilty pleasure is charity work
95
00:03:21,251 --> 00:03:22,418
and what I do for fun?
96
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:24,463
Well, basically, just
design and build skate parks
97
00:03:24,547 --> 00:03:26,298
for marginalized communities.
And that's me.
98
00:03:26,382 --> 00:03:28,842
What a gigantic turd. Agreed.
99
00:03:28,926 --> 00:03:30,261
An unformed pile.
100
00:03:30,345 --> 00:03:32,138
I don't know, she seemed
kind of awesome to me.
101
00:03:32,222 --> 00:03:33,390
The thing is, she can't be awesome
102
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:34,516
because she's here to replace Holt.
103
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,852
But she said as soon as
his year in uniform is finished,
104
00:03:36,936 --> 00:03:38,230
she's moving on. [SCOFFS]
105
00:03:38,355 --> 00:03:41,358
That's a pretty generous
interpretation of what she said, Amy.
106
00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:43,986
As soon as his year in uniform
is finished, I'll be moving on.
107
00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:45,529
Okay, fine. It's exactly what she said,
108
00:03:45,613 --> 00:03:46,739
but she seems like a liar.
109
00:03:46,823 --> 00:03:48,992
Someone told me she's a pill popper.
Pop-pop.
110
00:03:49,076 --> 00:03:50,285
Well, she's not lying about her resume.
111
00:03:50,369 --> 00:03:51,913
Did you know The Rock's character
112
00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:54,047
in Fast and the Furious was based on her?
113
00:03:54,374 --> 00:03:56,085
Hobbs! Or Shaw!
114
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,503
She's not a Hobbs or a Shaw.
115
00:03:57,587 --> 00:03:58,987
If anything, she's a Trevor.
116
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,255
That's the guy my mom dated
117
00:04:00,339 --> 00:04:01,341
after she divorced my dad.
118
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:02,509
This was all about your daddy issues?
119
00:04:02,593 --> 00:04:04,427
Stepdaddy issues. This is a new thing.
120
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:05,680
I'm complicated. Anyways,
121
00:04:05,764 --> 00:04:07,640
Trevor seemed perfect too, you know.
122
00:04:07,724 --> 00:04:09,351
He was nice to my mom.
He drove a limousine.
123
00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:10,602
He would take us out to restaurants.
124
00:04:10,686 --> 00:04:12,187
But then my mom caught him cheating
125
00:04:12,271 --> 00:04:13,480
and we never saw him again.
126
00:04:13,564 --> 00:04:16,109
So it turns out when people
are too good to be true, they are.
127
00:04:16,193 --> 00:04:17,193
JEFFORDS: That sucks, Jake.
128
00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:18,862
But I don't think Captain Kim's a Trevor.
129
00:04:18,946 --> 00:04:21,115
Oh, really? She could have
had her choice of any precinct.
130
00:04:21,199 --> 00:04:23,702
Why would she choose this
lame temporary posting here?
131
00:04:23,786 --> 00:04:24,786
I'll tell you why.
132
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,496
Because Madeline Wuntch sent her.
133
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:28,124
-So what do we do?
-PERALTA: I'm glad you asked.
134
00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:29,375
Do you know how Captain Kim wants to have
135
00:04:29,459 --> 00:04:30,543
individual meetings with us
136
00:04:30,627 --> 00:04:32,212
to assess our "personal strengths"
137
00:04:32,296 --> 00:04:34,381
and help us "achieve our goals"?
Stupid B.
138
00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:35,632
I say we use those meetings
139
00:04:35,716 --> 00:04:37,135
to figure out why she's really here.
140
00:04:37,219 --> 00:04:39,095
She may seem perfect, but I guarantee you
141
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,098
there's a "but", and
I'm gonna find that "but"
142
00:04:41,182 --> 00:04:42,349
and drill down on it.
143
00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:43,809
Come on, man.
You have to know how that sounds.
144
00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:46,193
Shut up, Cool Charles.
I hate this new dynamic.
145
00:04:46,605 --> 00:04:47,981
Lieutenant, thanks for coming in.
146
00:04:48,065 --> 00:04:49,984
First off, do you have any
questions for me? Just one.
147
00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,611
Why would someone of your
pedigree choose the Nine-Nine?
148
00:04:52,695 --> 00:04:55,824
Well, why would you choose to
stay here as long as you have?
149
00:04:55,908 --> 00:04:58,160
This is my family. A second family.
150
00:04:58,244 --> 00:04:59,495
I have a wife and three kids at home.
151
00:04:59,579 --> 00:05:01,205
Oh, please tell me you have pictures.
152
00:05:01,289 --> 00:05:04,918
I may have one or two
hard drives at my desk.
153
00:05:05,002 --> 00:05:06,587
Let me grab 'em real fast, okay?
[CHUCKLES]
154
00:05:06,671 --> 00:05:09,340
So, Captain Kim, I've been
going through your files.
155
00:05:09,424 --> 00:05:11,176
And I've been going through yours.
156
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,928
Very impressive stuff.
157
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,263
Oh. Not just the casework,
158
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:15,347
but look at how they're organized.
159
00:05:15,431 --> 00:05:16,892
The penmanship, color coding.
160
00:05:16,976 --> 00:05:18,685
How do you get such straight margins
161
00:05:18,769 --> 00:05:19,770
on a handwritten document?
162
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:22,106
Oh, well, I like to say
when it comes to margins…
163
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:24,025
BOTH: There's no margin for error.
164
00:05:24,109 --> 00:05:25,568
-[GASPS]
-[BOTH EXCLAIM EXCITEDLY]
165
00:05:25,652 --> 00:05:27,070
[BOTH LAUGH]
166
00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:29,364
So supposedly you build skate parks, huh?
167
00:05:29,448 --> 00:05:31,075
What are your three favorite tricks?
168
00:05:31,159 --> 00:05:33,119
Oh. Gingersnap, plasma spin,
169
00:05:33,203 --> 00:05:34,803
roast beef grab. What about you?
170
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:37,583
Ollies.
And the roast beef one that you said.
171
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:39,211
It doesn't matter.
We're both skaters. Let's move on.
172
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,922
Well, I've been looking
through your recent evaluations
173
00:05:42,006 --> 00:05:43,757
and I don't think you belong here.
174
00:05:43,842 --> 00:05:45,176
[SCOFFS] I knew it.
175
00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:46,928
You wanna get rid of me.
Well, you know what?
176
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,662
You can't fire me because I quit!
177
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,015
Metaphorically, obviously,
178
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,225
for medical insurance reasons,
179
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,518
it's much better if you do fire me.
180
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,603
I'm not firing you.
181
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,814
I'm very impressed by
your talent and record,
182
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,150
and it just so happens I
have a friend in the FBI
183
00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:00,486
who is looking for an
NYPD liaison officer.
184
00:06:01,237 --> 00:06:02,489
So what do you say?
185
00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:04,115
So what did you say?
186
00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:06,117
I told her I'd rather
stick my entire head
187
00:06:06,201 --> 00:06:08,204
inside a giraffe's long blonde butt
188
00:06:08,288 --> 00:06:09,580
than accept a job offer from her.
189
00:06:09,664 --> 00:06:10,707
Mmm-hmm.
190
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:11,917
-You said that?
-PERALTA: In my head.
191
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:14,002
In my mouth I said I would
think about it and get back to her.
192
00:06:14,086 --> 00:06:16,214
She'll get the message
when I dilly-dally.
193
00:06:16,298 --> 00:06:17,465
Working with the FBI.
194
00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:18,883
That's your dream job, J.
195
00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:20,761
First of all, my dream job is a spy
196
00:06:20,845 --> 00:06:22,513
falsely accused of betraying his country,
197
00:06:22,597 --> 00:06:24,098
forced to work alone to clear his name
198
00:06:24,182 --> 00:06:25,934
by taking down the
mysterious organization
199
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,185
that framed him, known only as Shade.
200
00:06:27,269 --> 00:06:29,188
Secondly, it wasn't a real job offer.
201
00:06:29,272 --> 00:06:30,857
She's up to something. Mmm-hmm.
202
00:06:30,941 --> 00:06:32,483
Maybe she's just a nice person.
203
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,987
I mean, she did seem
genuinely interested in my kids.
204
00:06:35,071 --> 00:06:36,822
Look, did any of you get
a straight answer from her
205
00:06:36,906 --> 00:06:37,991
about why she's at the Nine-Nine?
206
00:06:38,075 --> 00:06:39,158
Hmm? Right, me neither.
207
00:06:39,242 --> 00:06:41,661
But guess what, I called the COP office
208
00:06:41,745 --> 00:06:43,622
and they said the
form to transfer her here
209
00:06:43,706 --> 00:06:44,707
wasn't signed by them.
210
00:06:44,791 --> 00:06:46,501
It was signed by Wuntch.
211
00:06:46,877 --> 00:06:48,420
She lied. Mmm-hmm.
212
00:06:48,504 --> 00:06:50,088
Just because Wuntch signed an order
213
00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:51,173
doesn't mean they know each other.
214
00:06:51,257 --> 00:06:52,925
Will you wake up? That woman is a demon
215
00:06:53,009 --> 00:06:54,677
and it couldn't be more obvious.
216
00:06:54,761 --> 00:06:55,762
Oh. Here you are.
217
00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:57,931
I have to say how great
it was talking to you all.
218
00:06:58,015 --> 00:06:59,474
And I want to let you know about a party
219
00:06:59,558 --> 00:07:00,935
I'm throwing at my house tomorrow night.
220
00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:02,020
Are you interested?
221
00:07:02,104 --> 00:07:04,397
Oh, well, we will think
about it and get back to you.
222
00:07:04,481 --> 00:07:05,608
Great. Just let me know.
223
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:06,693
Great.
224
00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:11,031
And now, we dilly-dally.
225
00:07:11,573 --> 00:07:12,866
Mmm-hmm.
226
00:07:17,372 --> 00:07:18,707
-What are you guys doing here?
-PERALTA: What do you mean?
227
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:20,417
-We're going to the party.
-SANTIAGO: You said you weren't coming.
228
00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:22,002
You said that Captain Kim was a Trevor
229
00:07:22,086 --> 00:07:23,254
and that she only invited us
230
00:07:23,338 --> 00:07:25,715
to earn our trust so she
could have sex with our mom.
231
00:07:25,799 --> 00:07:26,899
It was very confusing.
232
00:07:27,385 --> 00:07:28,636
I never said that.
233
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:29,887
But it's not confusing.
234
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,681
I mean, our mom is obviously the precinct
235
00:07:31,765 --> 00:07:33,475
and Captain Kim
having sex with a precinct
236
00:07:33,559 --> 00:07:35,810
is actually her teaming up with
Madeline Wuntch to destroy it.
237
00:07:35,894 --> 00:07:37,605
That's a perfect analogy
which I never used.
238
00:07:37,689 --> 00:07:38,940
What's up, guys?
239
00:07:39,024 --> 00:07:40,776
Why are we standing around outside?
240
00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:42,319
Is your walk different?
241
00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:42,760
Are you strutting?
242
00:07:42,844 --> 00:07:43,820
BOYLE: Don't know
what you're talking about.
243
00:07:43,904 --> 00:07:45,114
That's how I always walk, bitch.
244
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,199
Let's roll!
245
00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:47,784
"Bitch"?
246
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,662
Welcome. The bar is in the back
247
00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:51,038
and they're coming around with food.
248
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,915
I used the most wonderful
catering company.
249
00:07:52,999 --> 00:07:55,251
They only hire ex-convicts
to give them a second chance.
250
00:07:55,335 --> 00:07:56,711
Oh, that's wonderful.
251
00:07:56,795 --> 00:07:57,921
Get in here and meet everyone.
252
00:07:58,005 --> 00:07:59,340
Oh, Lieutenant, I wanna introduce you
253
00:07:59,424 --> 00:08:00,424
to my old neighbor, John.
254
00:08:00,508 --> 00:08:02,510
He's a head of admissions at
the Calder Academy in the Bronx.
255
00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:04,846
Calder? That's the best
elementary school in the city.
256
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:07,558
Their mock trial team gets
hired to work real cases.
257
00:08:07,642 --> 00:08:09,769
And, Chuck, my friend from Major
Crimes is here. You're going to love him.
258
00:08:09,853 --> 00:08:11,729
Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
259
00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:12,940
Well, uh, come on, let's go.
260
00:08:13,024 --> 00:08:14,525
Oh, let me take your coat. No! I need it.
261
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:15,860
Oh. This way.
262
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,071
All right, I know what's going on here.
263
00:08:18,155 --> 00:08:19,656
You two still don't trust Captain Kim
264
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:20,782
and you're here to snoop on her.
265
00:08:20,866 --> 00:08:21,867
I don't know what you're talking about.
266
00:08:21,951 --> 00:08:23,494
Please. Look at your shoes.
267
00:08:23,578 --> 00:08:25,956
You only wear sneakers
for their literal purpose.
268
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,624
-Sneaking.
-PERALTA: That's crazy.
269
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,959
He's wearing perfectly normal…
270
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,336
No, she's right.
271
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:31,879
The clown shoes gave me away.
272
00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:33,965
Okay, look, Captain Kim lied to us.
273
00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:35,050
There's something in this house
274
00:08:35,134 --> 00:08:36,885
that proves she's been
conspiring with Madeline Wuntch
275
00:08:36,969 --> 00:08:37,970
and we're gonna find it.
276
00:08:38,054 --> 00:08:39,222
[SIGHS] I am not letting you
277
00:08:39,306 --> 00:08:40,807
snoop around in her stuff
278
00:08:40,891 --> 00:08:41,891
and ruin this party.
279
00:08:41,975 --> 00:08:43,894
Oh, okay, well, good
luck trying to stop us.
280
00:08:43,978 --> 00:08:45,355
[CHUCKLES] Oh, Jake.
281
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:47,815
You don't know who
you're dealing with, do you?
282
00:08:47,899 --> 00:08:50,027
I was student chaperone at every dance
283
00:08:50,111 --> 00:08:51,236
from middle school on.
284
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,864
I've stopped more horny teenagers
285
00:08:52,948 --> 00:08:55,074
from making out to Savage
Garden than you can count.
286
00:08:55,158 --> 00:08:57,370
Cool story, but we're not horny teens.
287
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,704
We're horny adults.
288
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,040
And tonight, we're going all the way.
289
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,959
Come on, Holt, let's shake this narc.
290
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,127
That's right. I am a NARC,
291
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,611
a Nationally Accredited
and Registered Chaperone.
292
00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:08,424
So what grade are your daughters in?
293
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:09,801
They're in sixth grade.
294
00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:12,346
Oh, wait. I'm sorry.
295
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:15,183
That's their reading level.
They're in second.
296
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:17,310
Wow. They sound quite impressive.
297
00:09:17,853 --> 00:09:19,981
Oh, good, the food. I'm starving.
298
00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:21,865
Hello, Detective Jeffords.
299
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,153
Do I know you? Ronald Palmer.
300
00:09:24,486 --> 00:09:26,196
You arrested me ten years ago.
301
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,489
You testified at my trial.
302
00:09:27,573 --> 00:09:29,200
Oh, hey!
303
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:30,660
What have you been up to?
304
00:09:31,119 --> 00:09:32,787
Prison. Prison, yeah.
I shouldn't have asked.
305
00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,581
I spent ten long years
306
00:09:34,665 --> 00:09:36,041
thinking about what I would do
307
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,794
if I ever saw you again.
308
00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:40,463
Lettuce cup? Uh…
309
00:09:42,383 --> 00:09:45,010
Oh, do you think I'm
trying to poison you?
310
00:09:45,094 --> 00:09:47,472
Am I always gonna be
a criminal in your eyes
311
00:09:47,556 --> 00:09:49,182
even though I've served my time?
312
00:09:49,266 --> 00:09:50,934
No. No, no.
313
00:09:51,019 --> 00:09:52,228
I'm just not hungry right now.
314
00:09:52,312 --> 00:09:53,646
Oh, you said you were starving.
315
00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:55,780
Yes, John. Thanks for reminding me, John.
316
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,250
All right, here we go.
317
00:09:57,568 --> 00:09:59,653
Approaching the mail, stay cool, and…
318
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:01,531
Doink.
319
00:10:02,616 --> 00:10:04,409
Now we just gotta find a
private place to look at these.
320
00:10:04,493 --> 00:10:06,204
Through here to the guest bath.
321
00:10:07,038 --> 00:10:08,247
-[GASPS]
-SANTIAGO: Seriously?
322
00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:09,457
The bathroom sneak-off?
323
00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,168
It didn't work for Dana McAlpin
324
00:10:11,293 --> 00:10:13,337
trying to smoke a joint at
the Winter Carnival dance
325
00:10:13,421 --> 00:10:15,021
and it's not gonna work for you.
326
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,216
Give me the mail.
327
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:20,137
[CHUCKLES] You just got chaperoned!
328
00:10:20,221 --> 00:10:22,599
O-W-N-E-D.
329
00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:25,309
Spelling is never cool.
330
00:10:25,393 --> 00:10:27,396
Wrong. That was extremely cool.
331
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,481
Now I understand why you're into her.
332
00:10:29,565 --> 00:10:30,941
Now you understand?
333
00:10:31,025 --> 00:10:32,375
You officiated our wedding.
334
00:10:33,111 --> 00:10:34,154
Whatever. We need to figure out a way
335
00:10:34,238 --> 00:10:35,280
to get her off our tail.
336
00:10:35,364 --> 00:10:36,764
Good luck with that. [GASPS]
337
00:10:37,283 --> 00:10:38,659
What do you two doing over here?
338
00:10:38,743 --> 00:10:39,743
Waiting for the caterers
339
00:10:39,827 --> 00:10:41,204
before they make their
way into the crowd?
340
00:10:41,288 --> 00:10:42,664
We're snooping on Captain Kim.
341
00:10:42,748 --> 00:10:44,749
But let me guess, she
seduced you as well.
342
00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:45,877
Is she doing that to people?
343
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:47,044
Not literally.
344
00:10:47,128 --> 00:10:49,172
Oh, Michael, Norm, I
didn't realize you arrived.
345
00:10:49,256 --> 00:10:51,356
Come with me.
I wanna make an introduction.
346
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:53,594
[WHISPERS] Don't worry,
Jake, you're our friend.
347
00:10:53,678 --> 00:10:54,888
We're on your side no matter…
348
00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:56,765
Holy crap!
349
00:10:56,974 --> 00:10:58,267
Look at those chairs.
350
00:10:58,351 --> 00:10:59,476
I know you two like to sit,
351
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,520
and these are the most
comfortable chairs ever.
352
00:11:01,604 --> 00:11:02,605
Give them a try.
353
00:11:02,689 --> 00:11:04,649
[BOTH EXCLAIMING]
354
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,943
It's like there's something
great at this party for everyone.
355
00:11:07,027 --> 00:11:09,281
Even me.
She's serving my favorite dessert.
356
00:11:09,864 --> 00:11:11,449
Carrots. Wait a minute. That's it.
357
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:13,327
If there's something great for everyone,
358
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,913
there's something great for the narc.
359
00:11:15,997 --> 00:11:17,290
Babe, hi!
360
00:11:17,374 --> 00:11:18,708
How are you enjoying the party?
361
00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:20,627
Trying to chat me up? It won't work.
362
00:11:20,711 --> 00:11:22,588
Chaperone code forbids fraternization
363
00:11:22,672 --> 00:11:23,839
with chaperonees.
364
00:11:23,923 --> 00:11:25,717
Okay, fine.
I'll just leave you alone then.
365
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:27,802
I really quickly did wanna
introduce you to someone, though.
366
00:11:27,886 --> 00:11:29,013
This is Margot.
367
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:30,514
She's a friend of Captain Kim's,
368
00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:31,599
and apparently she invented
369
00:11:31,683 --> 00:11:33,142
a new type of binder. What?
370
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,728
New type of binder seems reductive.
371
00:11:34,812 --> 00:11:36,980
Would you call a car a new kind of horse?
No.
372
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,816
This is the future of organization.
373
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,318
Oh, my God. Tell me everything.
374
00:11:40,402 --> 00:11:42,404
And you have been chaper-powned.
375
00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:44,198
What? Nothing. Love you. Binders.
376
00:11:44,282 --> 00:11:46,826
So Cap tells me you're in Major Crimes.
377
00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:49,330
Yeah, working something big.
378
00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,375
I can't tell you who the target is,
379
00:11:52,459 --> 00:11:53,626
but let's just say
380
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:54,961
he's done a bunch of disturbing things
381
00:11:55,045 --> 00:11:56,045
and he's on the Yankees.
382
00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:57,131
[WHISTLES]
383
00:11:58,132 --> 00:11:59,132
You play poker?
384
00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:00,342
Eh, used to.
385
00:12:00,426 --> 00:12:01,803
Got tired of winning all the time.
386
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,846
[CHUCKLES] Well, I have a weekly game.
387
00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:06,850
It's mostly Broadway
stars and celebrity chefs.
388
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,310
Not exactly my crowd
389
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,272
but they are high rollers.
390
00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:11,774
Spot opened up. You want in?
391
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,359
I don't know. Seems kind of lame,
392
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,444
but I'll stop by.
393
00:12:15,528 --> 00:12:17,030
[BOTH CLICK TONGUES]
394
00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:18,406
WOMAN: Excuse me.
395
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:19,783
I know you from somewhere.
396
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:20,909
Do you go to my gym?
397
00:12:20,993 --> 00:12:23,120
Uh, nah, I work out in my garage.
398
00:12:23,204 --> 00:12:24,622
Throw the tire around,
399
00:12:24,706 --> 00:12:26,792
grab a couple of big ropes and do this.
400
00:12:29,295 --> 00:12:30,296
Mmm-hmm.
401
00:12:31,089 --> 00:12:32,089
Here's my number.
402
00:12:32,173 --> 00:12:34,217
Maybe I could come over sometime,
403
00:12:34,301 --> 00:12:36,351
and, I don't know, you could work me out.
404
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,185
-Okay, we got her meeting the mayor…
-[SNIFFING]
405
00:12:42,269 --> 00:12:43,812
her dog sitting for Bo Obama,
406
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,356
Malala giving her an award,
407
00:12:45,481 --> 00:12:46,816
but no photos of Wuntch.
408
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,484
That's because vampires
don't appear on film.
409
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:49,694
Perhaps we should be looking
410
00:12:49,778 --> 00:12:51,531
for a 17th century woodblock print.
411
00:12:53,157 --> 00:12:54,659
Good idea. Let's keep moving.
412
00:12:56,495 --> 00:12:57,746
-KIM: Hello?
-[WHISPERING] She's coming. Hide.
413
00:12:57,830 --> 00:12:59,122
[WHISPERING] Title of your sex tape.
414
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:00,208
In here.
415
00:13:01,793 --> 00:13:02,793
KIM: Hello?
416
00:13:02,877 --> 00:13:04,129
Is anyone up here?
417
00:13:19,106 --> 00:13:22,025
Well, looks like we just found the key
418
00:13:22,109 --> 00:13:23,862
to exposing Captain Kim.
419
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:26,907
It's the key that's in her pocket.
420
00:13:26,991 --> 00:13:28,868
Yes, obviously, that's what I meant.
421
00:13:32,581 --> 00:13:33,706
We need to get that key.
422
00:13:33,790 --> 00:13:34,832
How are you at picking pockets?
423
00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:35,959
Does this answer your question?
424
00:13:36,043 --> 00:13:37,378
Whose wallet is that? It's mine,
425
00:13:37,462 --> 00:13:38,504
but it came out so smooth,
426
00:13:38,588 --> 00:13:39,630
I barely even felt it.
427
00:13:39,714 --> 00:13:41,174
All right, fine.
I'm terrible at pickpocketing.
428
00:13:41,258 --> 00:13:42,842
But if she was distracted,
I bet I could pull it off.
429
00:13:42,926 --> 00:13:45,513
Maybe you could create a
drunken scene or something.
430
00:13:45,597 --> 00:13:48,641
Why? What would my motivation
be for such poor behavior?
431
00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:49,726
I don't know, anything.
432
00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:52,145
No, I need something to draw from.
433
00:13:52,229 --> 00:13:53,689
Have I had a row with Kevin?
434
00:13:53,773 --> 00:13:55,108
Did something happen to Cheddar?
435
00:13:55,192 --> 00:13:57,151
Has a new captain moved into my precinct,
436
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,405
usurped my position and won the affection
437
00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:00,572
and admiration of people
438
00:14:00,656 --> 00:14:01,698
I've spent the last seven years
439
00:14:01,782 --> 00:14:03,034
building relationships with,
440
00:14:03,118 --> 00:14:06,079
people I once considered my chosen family
441
00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:07,456
whom I full-heartedly hoped
442
00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:09,417
would provide me the unconditional love
443
00:14:09,501 --> 00:14:11,586
and support that I never got
444
00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:13,172
from my own flesh and blood?
445
00:14:15,299 --> 00:14:16,551
I think you should go with the last one.
446
00:14:16,635 --> 00:14:18,261
The last one seemed good. Yeah. Yeah.
447
00:14:18,345 --> 00:14:19,679
This is the best night of my life.
448
00:14:19,763 --> 00:14:21,098
People believe I work out with ropes.
449
00:14:21,182 --> 00:14:22,433
A mega-babe hit on me,
450
00:14:22,517 --> 00:14:23,559
and the bartender didn't assume
451
00:14:23,643 --> 00:14:24,768
I just wanted a Bay Breeze.
452
00:14:24,852 --> 00:14:26,021
Hey, you, cool guy.
453
00:14:26,355 --> 00:14:27,981
Were you flirting with
my girlfriend out back?
454
00:14:28,065 --> 00:14:29,441
Calm down, hotshot.
455
00:14:29,525 --> 00:14:30,526
I'm taken.
456
00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:32,260
Look, I'll throw away her number.
457
00:14:32,695 --> 00:14:34,823
That's it. You and me, outside!
458
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,074
Oh, brother.
459
00:14:36,158 --> 00:14:38,828
Come on, guys.
I gotta go squash this bug.
460
00:14:39,287 --> 00:14:40,621
Of course, at Calder,
461
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:41,914
we're not just looking for good students.
462
00:14:41,998 --> 00:14:43,834
We want compassionate
members of the community.
463
00:14:43,918 --> 00:14:47,379
Great.
Terry has a passion for compassion.
464
00:14:47,463 --> 00:14:48,715
Turkey pinwheel?
465
00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:49,883
Oh, you're back again.
466
00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:52,344
You seem to be working
this one spot a lot.
467
00:14:52,428 --> 00:14:54,221
Well, we're old friends, remember?
468
00:14:54,305 --> 00:14:55,473
I'll ask again.
469
00:14:55,848 --> 00:14:56,850
Turkey pinwheel?
470
00:14:56,976 --> 00:14:58,059
Why is there just one?
471
00:14:58,143 --> 00:14:59,728
I made it special for you.
472
00:14:59,812 --> 00:15:00,812
How is it special?
473
00:15:00,896 --> 00:15:02,846
There's a little something extra in it.
474
00:15:03,525 --> 00:15:05,527
Wait, are you still suspicious of me?
475
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,446
You don't think I deserve
a second chance?
476
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:08,947
Impossible. Lieutenant Jeffords
477
00:15:09,031 --> 00:15:10,481
has a passion for compassion.
478
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:11,952
Yeah, you're right.
479
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,747
You know what, I will take this pinwheel.
480
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,416
Mmm, delicious!
481
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,710
[CHUCKLES]
482
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:27,094
Excuse me.
Does it seem slightly warm to anyone?
483
00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:30,016
I feel it is quite warm.
484
00:15:30,725 --> 00:15:31,725
What was that?
485
00:15:31,809 --> 00:15:33,144
You're supposed to cause a drunken scene.
486
00:15:33,228 --> 00:15:35,313
I was. I raised the volume of my voice 9%
487
00:15:35,397 --> 00:15:37,066
as inebriated people do,
488
00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:40,277
and I spoke of the result
of rising body temperature.
489
00:15:40,361 --> 00:15:42,411
Well, you need to do more.
More than that?
490
00:15:42,573 --> 00:15:43,615
[SCOFFS] Okay.
491
00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,492
-[LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
-Oh, I love this song.
492
00:15:45,576 --> 00:15:47,411
Oh, I'll have one of those.
493
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:48,538
That was more?
494
00:15:48,622 --> 00:15:49,872
I paired a crab cake
495
00:15:49,956 --> 00:15:52,084
with a Cotes du Rhone, like an animal.
496
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,168
Okay, we need a new plan.
497
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:54,294
No, no, I have just the thing.
498
00:15:54,378 --> 00:15:56,172
It's gonna be too small again.
You have to really…
499
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,341
I'm gonna throw myself down the stairs.
What?
500
00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,761
[GRUNTING]
501
00:16:00,303 --> 00:16:01,512
[GUESTS EXCLAIMING]
502
00:16:02,013 --> 00:16:03,013
Raymond. [GRUNTS]
503
00:16:03,097 --> 00:16:04,099
Are you okay?
504
00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:05,383
Someone call the doctor.
505
00:16:05,476 --> 00:16:07,811
HOLT: No need. I'm fine. I'm fine!
506
00:16:08,395 --> 00:16:10,440
Look, man, I don't want any trouble.
507
00:16:11,983 --> 00:16:13,026
She's gonna leave me, isn't she?
508
00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:14,194
Oh, you're crying?
509
00:16:14,278 --> 00:16:15,904
Of course she wants someone like you.
510
00:16:15,988 --> 00:16:18,032
You're so cool. Thank you. It's true.
511
00:16:18,116 --> 00:16:19,117
What's your secret?
512
00:16:19,201 --> 00:16:20,751
How can I become more like you?
513
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:23,915
[SIGHS] Here.
514
00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:25,916
This is all you need.
515
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,650
It'll change your life, trust me.
516
00:16:31,383 --> 00:16:33,433
Did you just give away your magic jacket?
517
00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:35,261
Oh, Terry, it wasn't the jacket.
518
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,723
I realize now that Chuck was in here.
519
00:16:38,724 --> 00:16:40,935
I had another man deep
inside me this whole time.
520
00:16:41,019 --> 00:16:42,061
Welcome back, Charles.
521
00:16:42,145 --> 00:16:43,396
Oh, right away?
522
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,857
It was the jacket!
523
00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:01,617
Now let's see if you do
know Madeline Wuntch.
524
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:03,797
-Gotcha.
-[DOG GROWLING]
525
00:17:04,881 --> 00:17:05,882
Oh, boy.
526
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:07,552
[NERVOUSLY] Hey.
527
00:17:08,386 --> 00:17:09,386
Easy.
528
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:10,680
[BARKING]
529
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,481
What happened?
530
00:17:18,565 --> 00:17:19,965
-[GUESTS SHOUTING]
-Am I okay?
531
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,102
Oh, I see what happened.
532
00:17:23,487 --> 00:17:25,573
He went downstairs
and killed everyone else.
533
00:17:25,657 --> 00:17:27,357
[EXHALES SHARPLY] That worked out.
534
00:17:30,204 --> 00:17:32,290
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
535
00:17:47,726 --> 00:17:49,811
PERALTA: Terry! Terry!
536
00:17:50,228 --> 00:17:51,897
Terry, are you okay?
537
00:17:51,981 --> 00:17:53,857
I'm fine. But that dog came right at me
538
00:17:53,941 --> 00:17:54,942
and I have no idea why.
539
00:17:55,026 --> 00:17:57,153
It looked like you had a
lot of food in your pockets.
540
00:17:57,237 --> 00:17:58,238
What?
541
00:17:58,322 --> 00:18:00,198
No, that's not true.
542
00:18:00,282 --> 00:18:01,742
This jacket never had any pockets.
543
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:02,827
This is the style.
544
00:18:02,911 --> 00:18:04,161
Oh, my God.
545
00:18:04,245 --> 00:18:06,123
You did think I was poisoning you.
546
00:18:06,207 --> 00:18:07,332
I mean, you were the one who said
547
00:18:07,416 --> 00:18:08,709
you spent every day in prison
548
00:18:08,793 --> 00:18:10,211
dreaming of the day we'd meet again.
549
00:18:10,295 --> 00:18:12,046
So I could prove to you I'd changed!
550
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:14,216
You said you put
something extra in my food.
551
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,300
Love!
552
00:18:15,384 --> 00:18:16,510
You said it so creepy.
553
00:18:16,594 --> 00:18:18,387
Look, tone is everything, man.
554
00:18:18,471 --> 00:18:19,973
I've been talking to a cinder block wall
555
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,307
for the last ten years.
556
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:24,854
I'm sorry if my social skills
leave something to be desired!
557
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,772
That is a really good explanation.
558
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,608
Everybody, the dog
is leashed up out back.
559
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:29,693
Did anyone get hurt?
560
00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:31,653
We're all fine. Thanks to this guy.
561
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,407
Tackling a pit bull without
spilling your whiskey.
562
00:18:34,491 --> 00:18:35,617
Badass!
563
00:18:35,742 --> 00:18:37,786
Eh, it was nothing. His teeth
couldn't even penetrate the jacket.
564
00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:40,873
Hey, I have an opening
in a weekly poker game.
565
00:18:40,957 --> 00:18:41,958
You interested?
566
00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:43,084
But you said I could come.
567
00:18:43,168 --> 00:18:45,253
I just think Broadway star
Sutton Foster's gonna like
568
00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:46,922
the other guy a little bit better.
569
00:18:47,006 --> 00:18:48,466
[WEAKLY] No!
570
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:50,218
Everybody, I am so, so sorry.
571
00:18:50,302 --> 00:18:52,137
I don't understand how Linus got out.
572
00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:53,597
I had him locked upstairs in my bedroom.
573
00:18:53,681 --> 00:18:55,181
I have the key right here. I…
574
00:18:55,725 --> 00:18:57,727
Wait, where's the key?
575
00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:01,148
All right, quit joking around, guys.
576
00:19:01,232 --> 00:19:02,316
Who's got the key?
577
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,777
You broke into my bedroom?
578
00:19:03,861 --> 00:19:04,861
Well, this wouldn't have been a problem
579
00:19:04,945 --> 00:19:06,237
if she didn't have a vicious guard dog
580
00:19:06,321 --> 00:19:07,322
that's protecting her secrets.
581
00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:08,574
Linus is not a guard dog,
582
00:19:08,658 --> 00:19:09,867
and he's not vicious.
583
00:19:09,951 --> 00:19:12,161
He was locked in my room because
he gets skittish around crowds.
584
00:19:12,245 --> 00:19:14,039
I just rescued him
from a dog fighting ring.
585
00:19:14,123 --> 00:19:16,208
ALL: Aw. Don't "aw" her, all right?
586
00:19:16,292 --> 00:19:17,585
She's a liar, and I have proof.
587
00:19:17,669 --> 00:19:19,754
Remember how she said she
didn't know Madeline Wuntch?
588
00:19:19,838 --> 00:19:21,547
Well, then explain why
she has an email from her
589
00:19:21,631 --> 00:19:23,634
dated two weeks ago,
subject, Raymond Holt.
590
00:19:23,718 --> 00:19:25,010
Mmm-hmm.
591
00:19:25,094 --> 00:19:27,263
Peralta, why don't you read
that email aloud for everyone?
592
00:19:27,347 --> 00:19:28,848
Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?
593
00:19:28,932 --> 00:19:29,933
Wait a minute. Why would you love that?
594
00:19:30,017 --> 00:19:31,268
It's gonna be bad for me, isn't it?
Amy, you read it.
595
00:19:31,352 --> 00:19:32,353
No. I'll do it, Jakey.
596
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:33,837
Oh, the old Charles is back.
597
00:19:34,188 --> 00:19:35,398
"Julia, we've never spoken…"
598
00:19:35,482 --> 00:19:36,900
Mmm-hmm, four words in and
it's already pretty bad for me.
599
00:19:36,984 --> 00:19:38,902
"…But your transfer to the
Nine-Nine is a foolish one.
600
00:19:38,986 --> 00:19:40,071
"They're a dysfunctional precinct
601
00:19:40,155 --> 00:19:42,031
"commanded by a rancid
old prune Raymond Holt.
602
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:44,701
"But in recognition of
your exemplary service,
603
00:19:44,785 --> 00:19:46,453
"I will honor your wishes. Wuntch."
604
00:19:46,537 --> 00:19:48,288
But then why are you at the Nine-Nine?
605
00:19:48,372 --> 00:19:50,333
I'm here for you. Ah-ha!
606
00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:51,459
Because you're my hero.
607
00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:52,753
Oof. I'm off today.
608
00:19:52,878 --> 00:19:54,922
You overcame so much to become a captain.
609
00:19:55,006 --> 00:19:57,406
It made me feel like I
could accomplish anything.
610
00:19:57,634 --> 00:19:59,427
So when the chance
came up to work with you,
611
00:19:59,511 --> 00:20:00,512
I jumped at it.
612
00:20:00,596 --> 00:20:01,888
But why not just tell me that?
613
00:20:01,972 --> 00:20:03,766
Because you were so
down about being in uniform,
614
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,685
I didn't want it to come across as pity.
615
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:06,854
PERALTA: Oh!
616
00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:09,273
Well, what a sweet and thoughtful moment,
617
00:20:09,357 --> 00:20:11,651
which would not have been
possible without my meddling.
618
00:20:11,735 --> 00:20:13,278
How dare you try to weasel out of this
619
00:20:13,362 --> 00:20:15,488
when the love of my life is
splattered all over that room?
620
00:20:15,572 --> 00:20:17,199
The chair?
Get her name out of your mouth!
621
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,284
Her name is "The Chair"?
622
00:20:18,368 --> 00:20:19,786
I warned you! [GRUNTS]
623
00:20:20,996 --> 00:20:22,706
So you think things will
be weird with Captain Kim?
624
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:24,165
Nah, she's so perfect.
625
00:20:24,249 --> 00:20:25,710
I'm sure she's already moved past it,
626
00:20:25,794 --> 00:20:26,878
and we'll have a great year together.
627
00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:28,671
Yeah. Yeah.
628
00:20:28,755 --> 00:20:30,757
Captain Kim asked for
an immediate transfer.
629
00:20:30,841 --> 00:20:33,218
She is no longer part of the Nine-Nine.
What?
630
00:20:33,302 --> 00:20:34,637
She said she respected you all,
631
00:20:34,721 --> 00:20:36,890
but there was obviously
too much history here
632
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,225
and she'd always feel like an interloper.
633
00:20:38,309 --> 00:20:39,518
Oh, man. You guys,
634
00:20:39,602 --> 00:20:41,270
I almost feel like this is all my fault.
635
00:20:41,354 --> 00:20:42,354
Agreed. What?
636
00:20:42,438 --> 00:20:43,481
You encouraged me.
637
00:20:43,565 --> 00:20:45,066
You kept saying, "Mmm-hmm."
638
00:20:45,150 --> 00:20:46,693
I was going through something difficult.
639
00:20:46,777 --> 00:20:47,778
You have no excuse.
640
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:48,905
He's kind of right, Jake.
641
00:20:48,989 --> 00:20:50,823
-What was going on there?
-PERALTA: I don't know.
642
00:20:50,907 --> 00:20:52,910
I guess I'm just overly paranoid
643
00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,453
from everything that's
happened here, you know,
644
00:20:54,537 --> 00:20:56,497
with Kelly and Wuntch,
and Trevor and Ralph.
645
00:20:56,581 --> 00:20:57,665
Who's Ralph?
646
00:20:57,749 --> 00:20:59,375
Well, my mom dated Ralph
after she broke up with Trevor.
647
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,004
He was also a limo driver
and he also cheated on her.
648
00:21:02,088 --> 00:21:05,008
[GASPS] The problem is with limo drivers.
649
00:21:05,092 --> 00:21:06,092
Babe, it's not. It's not?
650
00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:07,218
SANTIAGO: No. Okay, thanks. I love you.
651
00:21:07,302 --> 00:21:08,303
JEFFORDS: Look, man, I get it.
652
00:21:08,387 --> 00:21:09,597
There's no question we've been burned
653
00:21:09,681 --> 00:21:10,681
a bunch as a squad.
654
00:21:10,765 --> 00:21:12,892
But you' not giving someone
the benefit of the doubt
655
00:21:12,976 --> 00:21:14,186
cost us a good captain.
656
00:21:14,270 --> 00:21:15,479
I know. You're right.
657
00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:16,688
Look, I'm really sorry.
658
00:21:16,772 --> 00:21:18,148
But your heart was in the right place.
659
00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:19,233
And I had to pay Captain Kim,
660
00:21:19,317 --> 00:21:20,985
like, $3,700 in damages.
661
00:21:21,069 --> 00:21:22,236
You did what? The point is,
662
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,114
everyone accepted my apology, Amy.
Right, Charles?
663
00:21:24,198 --> 00:21:25,408
You betcha, Jakey. See?