1
00:00:05,195 --> 00:00:08,407
Gentlemen, may I present
to you the Suicide Squad.

2
00:00:08,491 --> 00:00:10,158
Hang on there, genius.
You want us, your enemies,

3
00:00:10,242 --> 00:00:11,910
to help you bring down
Commissioner Kelly?

4
00:00:11,994 --> 00:00:13,286
You guys consider me your enemy?

5
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:14,996
You're some of my best friends.

6
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,540
We haven't talked to you
in, like, three years, C.J.

7
00:00:16,624 --> 00:00:18,291
Wait, yeah.
I'm thinking of different guys.

8
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:20,293
Oh, Raymond, that you
came to me to ask for help

9
00:00:20,377 --> 00:00:21,545
shows how much you've matured.

10
00:00:21,629 --> 00:00:23,255
You know what else shows
how much you've matured?

11
00:00:23,339 --> 00:00:24,757
Your withered face.

12
00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:27,260
Now I know why you refer to
this as a Suicide Squad, Peralta,

13
00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:29,595
because I already want to kill myself.

14
00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:31,556
Why don't you wait a week?
You'll probably die of old age.

15
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:32,640
The only way I'm going to die

16
00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:34,976
is if you touch me with
one of your bony fingers

17
00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:37,895
and drag me across the
River Styx, you reaper.

18
00:00:37,979 --> 00:00:39,815
Ah, wonderful. Very creative.

19
00:00:39,899 --> 00:00:41,650
Look, John Kelly has to be stopped.

20
00:00:41,734 --> 00:00:44,695
He's spying on civilians.
It's unconstitutional and it's wrong.

21
00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:46,905
Please.
Do you think any one of these jackals

22
00:00:46,989 --> 00:00:48,657
cares about what's right or wrong?

23
00:00:48,741 --> 00:00:51,410
[WHISTLES] I'll help. See, sir?
There is good in every person.

24
00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:52,494
But I want it to be known
it's for selfish reasons.

25
00:00:52,578 --> 00:00:53,996
Why would you want that to be known?

26
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,207
'Cause I've never met C.J. before
and I want him to think that I'm cool.

27
00:00:56,291 --> 00:00:58,668
It's working. I mean, I love
how you're taking over the room.

28
00:00:58,752 --> 00:00:59,752
Like that? Yeah, it's awesome.

29
00:00:59,836 --> 00:01:02,297
You know, I actually wouldn't
mind getting rid of John Kelly either.

30
00:01:02,381 --> 00:01:03,882
That guy makes up so many dumb rules.

31
00:01:03,966 --> 00:01:05,300
He told me I couldn't eat raw chicken.

32
00:01:05,384 --> 00:01:06,551
And you think a new commissioner will…

33
00:01:06,635 --> 00:01:08,386
Yeah, he's already on board,
so, yes, a new commissioner

34
00:01:08,470 --> 00:01:10,763
would let you eat raw
chicken for whatever reason.

35
00:01:10,847 --> 00:01:12,683
It's healthier. It sure is, Ceej.

36
00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:13,767
And what do you hope to
get out of this, Madeline?

37
00:01:13,851 --> 00:01:16,228
Let me guess, revenge on
Dorothy for killing your sister?

38
00:01:16,312 --> 00:01:17,605
I want the same as you, Raymond.

39
00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,815
I think what John
Kelly is doing is terrible.

40
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:21,192
Yes, well said, Wuntch.

41
00:01:21,276 --> 00:01:23,486
So, we're all on board. This is exciting!

42
00:01:23,570 --> 00:01:26,322
Let's bring it in, huh?
"Suicide Squad" on three.

43
00:01:26,406 --> 00:01:28,200
Ready? One, two…

44
00:01:28,284 --> 00:01:29,367
I don't touch other dudes' hands.

45
00:01:29,451 --> 00:01:30,744
Whose hand is sticky? It might be me.

46
00:01:30,828 --> 00:01:32,829
-I ate a Popsicle earlier.
-HOLT: It's probably Madeline.

47
00:01:32,913 --> 00:01:35,165
Cockroaches release
a mucus-like secretion.

48
00:01:35,249 --> 00:01:37,125
You would know about roaches, you roach.

49
00:01:37,209 --> 00:01:39,252
And three! Suicide Squad!

50
00:01:39,336 --> 00:01:41,338
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

51
00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:01,026
Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

52
00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:02,569
Why is Santiago here?

53
00:02:02,653 --> 00:02:03,904
We agreed to keep this secret.

54
00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:04,988
Well, it's hard to keep secrets

55
00:02:05,072 --> 00:02:06,114
when you're married to an ace detective.

56
00:02:06,198 --> 00:02:07,866
He told me as soon as he got home.

57
00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:09,785
I did.
I'm so excited about the Suicide Squad.

58
00:02:09,869 --> 00:02:12,913
Ah, I love seeing these
glimpses of domestic Peraltiago.

59
00:02:12,997 --> 00:02:14,206
Now kiss. No.

60
00:02:14,290 --> 00:02:15,500
You don't do it enough.
We do it all the time,

61
00:02:15,584 --> 00:02:17,418
just not in front of you.
It's been a year!

62
00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:18,503
We don't have time for this.

63
00:02:18,587 --> 00:02:19,629
Now, Kelly's stingrays

64
00:02:19,713 --> 00:02:21,214
can steal cell phone data
from anyone, including us,

65
00:02:21,298 --> 00:02:22,507
so, I procured special equipment

66
00:02:22,591 --> 00:02:24,217
for us to communicate with.

67
00:02:24,301 --> 00:02:25,552
Extremely old beepers?

68
00:02:25,636 --> 00:02:27,804
Yeah, they're analog, so the
stingrays can't detect them.

69
00:02:27,888 --> 00:02:30,098
I had one of these in high
school, and it was so cool.

70
00:02:30,182 --> 00:02:31,976
And you're just sitting in math class,

71
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,269
and you feel that buzz,

72
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,396
and it's your dad saying he loves you.

73
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,107
The rest of the day,
you're just walking on air.

74
00:02:39,442 --> 00:02:40,651
-Did you guys just kiss? Did I miss it?
-BOTH: Hmm?

75
00:02:40,735 --> 00:02:42,278
Yes. It was very unprofessional.

76
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,904
-Oh, come on!
-HOLT: I don't like this.

77
00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:45,489
I wouldn't wish working
with Madeline Wuntch

78
00:02:45,573 --> 00:02:46,575
on my worst enemy,

79
00:02:46,659 --> 00:02:48,243
and my worst enemy is Madeline Wuntch,

80
00:02:48,327 --> 00:02:49,369
whom I hate.

81
00:02:49,453 --> 00:02:50,620
Look, if you wanna stop Kelly,

82
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,372
she's the key to my entire plan.

83
00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:53,707
So, either you get over it,

84
00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:55,841
or we walk away from
this thing right now.

85
00:02:56,669 --> 00:03:00,130
Ugh. Fine.
I will learn to trust Madeline Wuntch.

86
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,508
I will never trust Madeline Wuntch.

87
00:03:02,592 --> 00:03:03,884
She's a venomous snake

88
00:03:03,968 --> 00:03:06,178
waiting to strike, and you
know what we do to snakes.

89
00:03:06,262 --> 00:03:07,263
Chop their heads off.

90
00:03:07,347 --> 00:03:08,347
Remove the skin. Turn them into boots.

91
00:03:08,431 --> 00:03:10,308
Don't be absurd.
Who would want troll skin boots?

92
00:03:10,392 --> 00:03:11,392
You just said she was a snake.

93
00:03:11,476 --> 00:03:12,685
The devil comes in many forms.

94
00:03:12,769 --> 00:03:15,354
No, what I meant was
I want you to follow her

95
00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:17,273
and make sure she doesn't betray us.

96
00:03:17,357 --> 00:03:19,109
And, uh, don't tell Peralta.

97
00:03:19,193 --> 00:03:21,111
Count me in. I got nothing else going on.

98
00:03:21,195 --> 00:03:23,196
Aren't you supposed to be getting
ready to transfer to Staten Island?

99
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,532
That's not real.
It was pretty real last week.

100
00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:27,952
That's before I decided
to pretend it wasn't.

101
00:03:28,953 --> 00:03:29,995
I'm in denial.

102
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,079
Most people who are in denial

103
00:03:31,163 --> 00:03:32,372
don't usually say they're in denial.

104
00:03:32,456 --> 00:03:34,000
That's because they're in denial

105
00:03:34,084 --> 00:03:35,710
about being in denial.

106
00:03:35,794 --> 00:03:37,420
But I'm not in denial.

107
00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:39,172
I'm in denial.

108
00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:41,758
-Is Jeffords' brain okay for this mission?
-JEFFORDS: Yes, sir.

109
00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:43,968
For this and all future
Nine-Nine missions,

110
00:03:44,052 --> 00:03:45,762
which I'll definitely be a part of.

111
00:03:45,846 --> 00:03:47,138
Let's go.

112
00:03:47,222 --> 00:03:48,556
So, this apartment will be

113
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,933
our base for the duration of the mission.

114
00:03:50,017 --> 00:03:51,560
Thank you to the
Vulture for procuring it.

115
00:03:51,644 --> 00:03:53,312
PEMBROKE: Hey, don't thank me.
Thank my boy, Billy.

116
00:03:53,396 --> 00:03:55,105
He said the place was
mine while he's still in prison.

117
00:03:55,189 --> 00:03:56,649
-What?
-PEMBROKE: It's not what it sounds like.

118
00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:59,443
His only crime was planning
a kickass music festival.

119
00:03:59,527 --> 00:04:01,278
Are you friends with
the Fyre Festival guy?

120
00:04:01,362 --> 00:04:02,905
Best friends. He got a bum rap.

121
00:04:02,989 --> 00:04:05,575
You can learn about it when
my documentary comes out.

122
00:04:05,659 --> 00:04:08,161
It points all the blame
where it clearly belongs.

123
00:04:08,245 --> 00:04:09,245
With the island people.

124
00:04:09,329 --> 00:04:11,414
PERALTA: Wow.
So many levels of terrible there.

125
00:04:11,498 --> 00:04:12,582
All right, we need to catch Kelly

126
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,084
in the act of illegally spying,

127
00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:15,168
so, here's the plan.

128
00:04:15,252 --> 00:04:16,503
We commit a fake crime so serious

129
00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:18,380
that he's forced to deploy the stingray.

130
00:04:18,464 --> 00:04:20,090
What kind of crime?
We're gonna kidnap a cop.

131
00:04:20,174 --> 00:04:21,717
But not just any cop,

132
00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:22,802
it needs to be someone so high-ranking

133
00:04:22,886 --> 00:04:24,261
that it sends shock
waves through the system,

134
00:04:24,345 --> 00:04:25,346
but not important enough

135
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:28,280
that their absence negatively
impacts the NYPD in any way.

136
00:04:32,562 --> 00:04:33,562
Who you guys thinkin'?

137
00:04:33,646 --> 00:04:35,231
We're clearly all looking at you.

138
00:04:35,315 --> 00:04:36,983
Oh, God. Am I in charge of the meeting?
Dismissed.

139
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,277
Dismissed. No.
You're getting kidnapped, C.J.

140
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:41,071
Oh. Amy, Charles, and
I will be the kidnappers.

141
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,505
Captain Holt is the driver.

142
00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:43,657
PERALTA: <i>Here's how it'll go down.</i>

143
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,076
Approaching the target.
All right, let's do this. Masks on.

144
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,619
Actually, scratch that.

145
00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:50,539
We're not gonna use ski masks.
We'll use cool rubber masks.

146
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,167
Ooh. We should be the ladies of
<i>The First Wives Club.</i> I call Keaton.

147
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,544
We're not gonna do
<i>First Wives Club</i> masks.

148
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,713
Just because you can't be Keaton?
Grow up, Jake!

149
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,005
No, because they don't exist.

150
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,633
And also, yeah, Keaton
is clearly the coolest one

151
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,552
and I don't think it's really
fair that you just "called" her.

152
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,929
Forget it.
We'll wear scary gorilla masks.

153
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,013
Approaching the target.

154
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,682
Okay, let's do this. Masks on.

155
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,059
PERALTA: <i>When C.J.
goes to get his morning coffee,</i>

156
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,978
<i>we will arrive and grab him.</i>

157
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:13,105
<i>He will pretend to struggle
just enough to attract attention.</i>

158
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:14,815
Help! Help!

159
00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:16,024
[TIRES SCREECHING]

160
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,444
I'm gonna write this down
so I remember my lines.

161
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:19,903
PERALTA: I can see that you
already have the word "milk"

162
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,613
written on your hand.
I know where this is going.

163
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,157
Milk! Milk!

164
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,826
-Don't do that.
-MADELINE: Too risky.

165
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,578
What if you leave DNA
evidence at the scene?

166
00:05:26,662 --> 00:05:28,371
Well, luckily, it's a
missing person's case,

167
00:05:28,455 --> 00:05:30,790
so, the lead detective
will be the Vulture.

168
00:05:30,874 --> 00:05:31,875
PERALTA: <i>He will arrive and…</i>

169
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:33,334
No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, Peralta.

170
00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:35,462
You forgot to say that I
ride in on my motorcycle.

171
00:05:35,546 --> 00:05:38,423
Okay, the Vulture who
rode in on his motorcycle…

172
00:05:38,507 --> 00:05:40,133
Kobe.

173
00:05:40,217 --> 00:05:42,553
PERALTA: <i>Will take charge and
eliminate any evidence we left behind.</i>

174
00:05:42,637 --> 00:05:43,763
There's nothing here.

175
00:05:43,847 --> 00:05:45,181
Make sure the other
people working with you

176
00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:46,515
are your worst detectives.

177
00:05:46,599 --> 00:05:48,309
I got just the guys for you.
I mean, they're real duds.

178
00:05:48,393 --> 00:05:50,603
I wouldn't even trust those
two to get coffee for me.

179
00:05:50,687 --> 00:05:52,563
Gerard, tell him where we're at.

180
00:05:52,647 --> 00:05:54,607
Brooklyn.
You know, you guys take off, all right?

181
00:05:54,691 --> 00:05:56,651
I got this. All right.

182
00:05:56,735 --> 00:05:57,736
Hey, you. Come here.

183
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:58,862
You wanna tell me what you saw?

184
00:05:58,946 --> 00:06:00,071
I'll tell you what I'd like to see.

185
00:06:00,155 --> 00:06:01,656
Your big… Stop.

186
00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:02,783
I'm the one describing the plan.

187
00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,117
What, so there's not
gonna be any sex at all?

188
00:06:04,201 --> 00:06:05,952
No. The point is, without any good leads,

189
00:06:06,036 --> 00:06:07,788
Kelly will give the
order to use the stingray.

190
00:06:07,872 --> 00:06:09,080
An order that we will record

191
00:06:09,164 --> 00:06:10,832
thanks to our very own Madeline Wuntch.

192
00:06:10,916 --> 00:06:13,002
Not possible.
Kelly won't tell me anything.

193
00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:14,170
He won't even meet with me.

194
00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:15,254
Perhaps you can sneak in

195
00:06:15,338 --> 00:06:16,881
disguised as an old leather chair.

196
00:06:16,965 --> 00:06:19,801
Will you calm down?
She works at One Police Plaza.

197
00:06:19,885 --> 00:06:21,552
All you have to do is "run into him."

198
00:06:21,636 --> 00:06:24,305
Commissioner Kelly. Madeline.
I didn't see you there.

199
00:06:24,389 --> 00:06:26,057
I thought you were an old leather chair.

200
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:28,185
He's not gonna say that. He might.

201
00:06:28,269 --> 00:06:29,394
You're worse than the Vulture. Anyways…

202
00:06:29,478 --> 00:06:31,063
PERALTA: <i>Give him a
handshake, a pat on the back…</i>

203
00:06:31,147 --> 00:06:33,147
I heard your app caught a serial killer.

204
00:06:33,983 --> 00:06:36,193
HotClues strikes again. Yes, indeedy.

205
00:06:36,277 --> 00:06:37,361
PERALTA: <i>And plant the bug.</i>

206
00:06:37,445 --> 00:06:38,821
And that's the plan.

207
00:06:38,905 --> 00:06:42,115
-That is exactly how tomorrow's gonna go.
-PEMBROKE: Got it.

208
00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:45,037
So you do or you don't
want me to yell "milk"?

209
00:06:47,372 --> 00:06:48,748
HOLT: Approaching the target.

210
00:06:48,832 --> 00:06:51,584
Okay, let's do this. Masks on.

211
00:06:51,668 --> 00:06:52,877
I thought we were getting rubber masks.

212
00:06:52,961 --> 00:06:55,046
Yeah, I couldn't find any.
It's not Halloween.

213
00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:56,589
These look like they're
from <i>Fifty Shades of Grey.</i>

214
00:06:56,673 --> 00:06:58,007
Yeah, I got them from a sex shop, Amy,

215
00:06:58,091 --> 00:06:59,844
and we're lucky to have them.
There were only three left.

216
00:06:59,928 --> 00:07:02,179
At least you're not wearing a gimp mask.

217
00:07:02,263 --> 00:07:03,264
PERALTA: Look, there
weren't a lot of options.

218
00:07:03,348 --> 00:07:04,974
It was a very awkward retail interaction.

219
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,185
Can we please just kidnap C.J. now?

220
00:07:07,769 --> 00:07:08,770
[TIRES SCREECH]

221
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,023
[SCREAMS] Leave me alone! [GRUNTS]

222
00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:15,318
Leave me alone! What the [BLEEP]?

223
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,237
You'll never get me alive! Help!

224
00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:19,447
Help! Somebody call the police!

225
00:07:19,531 --> 00:07:21,481
Here, take her. Take her instead of me.

226
00:07:23,118 --> 00:07:24,828
No, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.

227
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,248
Oh, it's you. Yeah, it's us.

228
00:07:28,332 --> 00:07:29,416
Now, get in the van.

229
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,501
Oh, okay.

230
00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:32,545
Help!

231
00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:34,297
[SCREAMING]

232
00:07:38,969 --> 00:07:40,386
Hey, could we stop and get a Slushee?

233
00:07:40,470 --> 00:07:42,847
It's just that you guys kinda
made me drop it back there.

234
00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:45,099
-What the hell was that, C.J.?
-C.J.: I'm sorry!

235
00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,309
I didn't know it was you.

236
00:07:46,393 --> 00:07:47,853
You were supposed to be in gorilla masks.

237
00:07:47,937 --> 00:07:49,521
Okay, so, let me get this straight.

238
00:07:49,605 --> 00:07:51,023
You thought that we were real kidnappers

239
00:07:51,107 --> 00:07:52,441
who showed up at the exact time

240
00:07:52,525 --> 00:07:53,942
that we planned a fake kidnapping?

241
00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:55,694
Exactly. You get it. He gets it.

242
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:57,070
HOLT: Nobody is following us.

243
00:07:57,154 --> 00:07:58,322
I'm headed back to the apartment.

244
00:07:58,406 --> 00:08:01,116
Okay, look, that didn't
go great, but we got away,

245
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,786
and on the plus side, no
more of the plan hinges on C.J.

246
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:04,913
Oh, thank God.

247
00:08:04,997 --> 00:08:06,831
He pulled off your mask, Jake.
What if someone saw you?

248
00:08:06,915 --> 00:08:08,834
That's why we have the Vulture.

249
00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:11,210
Kobe. Ow!

250
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,295
[GROANS]

251
00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:15,089
Captain Pembroke, what do you have there?
Did you find a hair?

252
00:08:15,173 --> 00:08:16,215
GERARD: Nice work.

253
00:08:16,299 --> 00:08:18,199
Let's bag it. Let's get it to the lab.

254
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:19,845
PERALTA: <i>They have my hair?</i>

255
00:08:19,929 --> 00:08:21,639
I thought you put your
two worst guys on this.

256
00:08:21,723 --> 00:08:22,765
These are my worst guys, all right?

257
00:08:22,849 --> 00:08:24,725
They're real dorks.
They both wear glasses.

258
00:08:24,809 --> 00:08:25,976
One of them's even a woman.

259
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:27,686
[SCOFFS] You said you
didn't trust them to get coffee.

260
00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:29,897
Look, if you can't tell what
"coffee" is code for by now,

261
00:08:29,981 --> 00:08:31,649
then you and I shouldn't
be talking about this, Jake.

262
00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:34,569
Oh, my God.
He put his best detectives on the case.

263
00:08:34,653 --> 00:08:36,738
Hey, my two best detectives
are Sticky and Boner,

264
00:08:36,822 --> 00:08:38,573
and they definitely
know how to order coffee.

265
00:08:38,657 --> 00:08:40,075
Extra cream. Wink, wink.

266
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:41,993
Guys, stop fighting. We did it.

267
00:08:42,077 --> 00:08:44,120
Let's just chill and play some <i>Madden.</i>

268
00:08:44,204 --> 00:08:45,288
No one's playing <i>Madden</i> with you, C.J.

269
00:08:45,372 --> 00:08:47,707
Ugh. You know what, Peralta?
This is all your fault.

270
00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:49,084
A witness saw your face

271
00:08:49,168 --> 00:08:51,003
and now there's a police
sketch of you being sent around.

272
00:08:51,087 --> 00:08:53,089
PERALTA: Oh, please.
That doesn't even look like me.

273
00:08:53,173 --> 00:08:54,256
The only thing that
got right is my little curl,

274
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:55,841
and I can just get rid of that.

275
00:08:55,925 --> 00:08:57,385
Jake, you can't. You're right.
It's worth the risk

276
00:08:57,469 --> 00:08:58,803
-to keep it.
-HOLT: This is bad.

277
00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:00,721
-Our plan is collapsing.
-PERALTA: No, it's not.

278
00:09:00,805 --> 00:09:02,932
John Kelly's gonna authorize
the stingray within the hour

279
00:09:03,016 --> 00:09:06,216
and everything'll be fine, assuming
Wuntch gets the bug in place.

280
00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:10,065
JEFFORDS: She's still standing there.

281
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,900
Since we got time, you wanna
talk about your goodbye party?

282
00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:14,111
Will you eat a cake, or does it
have to be boneless chicken breast?

283
00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:16,655
Sure. Seventy-year-old Terry
can eat whatever he wants.

284
00:09:16,739 --> 00:09:18,323
You are talking about
my retirement party, right?

285
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:19,408
Twenty years from now.

286
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,867
Dude, you know I'm
not talking about that.

287
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,578
What do you think is gonna
happen at the end of the week?

288
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,164
I don't know, but I do know
what's gonna happen right now.

289
00:09:25,248 --> 00:09:26,249
[SINGSONG] Topic change.

290
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,668
You ever wonder where wind starts?

291
00:09:28,752 --> 00:09:30,378
I have. Wind is crazy.

292
00:09:30,462 --> 00:09:32,255
You need to face facts. About wind?

293
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,923
I'm trying, but you won't engage.

294
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,758
Why you in denial about wind, Rosa?

295
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,343
MADELINE: Commissioner Kelly.

296
00:09:37,427 --> 00:09:38,470
Something's going on with Wuntch.

297
00:09:38,554 --> 00:09:40,222
I heard your app caught a serial killer.

298
00:09:40,306 --> 00:09:43,559
-HotClues strikes again.
-[CHUCKLES] Yes, indeedy.

299
00:09:47,313 --> 00:09:49,440
What the hell, Raymond?
You were following me?

300
00:09:49,524 --> 00:09:50,524
I don't know what you're talking about.

301
00:09:50,608 --> 00:09:52,568
I've been here the whole time.
My mistake.

302
00:09:52,652 --> 00:09:54,487
These two goons were
carrying a dirty old mop

303
00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:56,072
that looked exactly like you.

304
00:09:56,156 --> 00:09:58,616
What did you do?
She's up to something. I'm sure of it.

305
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,160
-[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
-Hey, it's Kimble and Gerard.

306
00:10:00,244 --> 00:10:02,954
Those nerds found DNA all over the scene.
Take care of it.

307
00:10:03,038 --> 00:10:04,539
Now? Yes!

308
00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:05,623
You know, I know I just got here,

309
00:10:05,707 --> 00:10:06,833
but it feels like
everything's falling apart.

310
00:10:06,917 --> 00:10:08,543
No, everything's going great, Rosa.

311
00:10:08,627 --> 00:10:11,422
Hey, cool. I'm not the only one
that's in denial. It's catching on.

312
00:10:11,506 --> 00:10:13,090
I'm not in denial.
We've had a few hiccups,

313
00:10:13,174 --> 00:10:15,384
but all that matters is that
Wuntch planted the bug on Kelly.

314
00:10:15,468 --> 00:10:17,511
No. I didn't. What's that now?

315
00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:19,555
You don't trust me, I don't trust you.

316
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:21,599
The mission is off. Here's your bug back.

317
00:10:21,683 --> 00:10:24,268
It's not an actual bug,
so don't eat it, you lizard.

318
00:10:24,352 --> 00:10:27,272
Ha! You didn't specify
the subspecies of lizard.

319
00:10:27,356 --> 00:10:30,056
I won that round! Oh, my God.
Will you give it a rest?

320
00:10:32,403 --> 00:10:35,280
Oh, man.
I can't believe this wild ride's over.

321
00:10:35,364 --> 00:10:37,574
We've changed so much.
You know, when we started out,

322
00:10:37,658 --> 00:10:39,242
we were just Charles the jock,

323
00:10:39,326 --> 00:10:43,164
Amy the rebel, Captain
Silly Pants, Talky-talky Rosa,

324
00:10:43,248 --> 00:10:46,501
Terry the stoner, and C.J.
the ringleader.

325
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:47,668
I'm not sure you're nailing these.

326
00:10:47,752 --> 00:10:50,213
Okay, I smoothed
things over with Madeline,

327
00:10:50,297 --> 00:10:52,173
and she's agreed to
rejoin the Suicide Squad.

328
00:10:52,257 --> 00:10:55,468
Oh, goody gumdrops.
But do we even need her?

329
00:10:55,552 --> 00:10:56,552
What does she bring to the table?

330
00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:58,722
Thirty years of police experience.
I have 33.

331
00:10:58,806 --> 00:11:01,308
I earned a Police Combat Cross.
I have a Medal of Honor.

332
00:11:01,392 --> 00:11:05,479
I own the record for most arrests as
a uniformed officer in NYPD history.

333
00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:08,232
You got me there. Of course, I
never spent much time in uniform

334
00:11:08,316 --> 00:11:11,485
because I was promoted
to detective after one month.

335
00:11:11,569 --> 00:11:12,987
They're not allowed to do that.
It's against the rules.

336
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:15,824
It's also against the rules to let
a pile of worms wear a uniform,

337
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:16,908
and yet here you stand.

338
00:11:16,992 --> 00:11:19,285
Okay, just stop.
Look, sir, I've explained this.

339
00:11:19,369 --> 00:11:21,246
Wuntch is the only one
that can get close to Kelly.

340
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,039
We need her. Okay.

341
00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:24,124
The worm pile stays.

342
00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:26,292
Great. That was our last obstacle,

343
00:11:26,376 --> 00:11:28,671
except for one other thing, I
promised her that you would apologize

344
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:29,839
for everything you've ever done to her.

345
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,133
Including the Michelle Obama incident?

346
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:34,510
Yes, she mentioned that specifically.
I'm very curious what happened there.

347
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,179
Oh, it's nothing. But fine.

348
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:40,683
I'm sorry, Madeline, for everything.

349
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,685
Hmm. Especially for…

350
00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:46,731
Pushing you into Michelle Obama
from behind and then running away.

351
00:11:46,815 --> 00:11:47,858
What? Sir!

352
00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:50,277
-It was very funny.
-MADELINE: Apology accepted.

353
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:51,653
There's a Policeman's Ball tonight.

354
00:11:51,737 --> 00:11:53,655
I can plant the bug on Kelly there.

355
00:11:53,739 --> 00:11:55,699
And since you don't trust
me, you can be my plus one.

356
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,285
Oh, please. Everyone knows we're enemies.

357
00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,828
It would raise suspicions. Don't worry.

358
00:11:59,912 --> 00:12:01,747
I know just what to tell people.

359
00:12:01,831 --> 00:12:04,042
Madeline and I are now…

360
00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:06,752
Lovers.

361
00:12:06,836 --> 00:12:08,045
PERALTA: So, we can
assume Kelly authorized

362
00:12:08,129 --> 00:12:09,797
stingray surveillance, and we missed it,

363
00:12:09,881 --> 00:12:12,383
but if we ratchet up the pressure
on him, we might get another chance.

364
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:14,594
How do we ratchet up pressure
more than we already have?

365
00:12:14,678 --> 00:12:16,889
By making him believe that
the "kidnappers" are serious,

366
00:12:16,973 --> 00:12:18,849
and that C.J. is in real danger.

367
00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:21,185
Ooh. What if we send Kelly
a severed finger in a box?

368
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:22,853
No way! I need all my fingers.

369
00:12:22,937 --> 00:12:24,855
How else am I gonna do the hang ten sign?

370
00:12:24,939 --> 00:12:26,231
Nobody's cutting off your fingers.

371
00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:27,858
I meant we would get one from the morgue.

372
00:12:27,942 --> 00:12:31,737
From the morgue? Man, we are always
getting into the craziest situations.

373
00:12:31,821 --> 00:12:34,282
If I were leaving this squad,
I'd miss these moments,

374
00:12:34,366 --> 00:12:35,950
but I'm not, so I won't. Okay, seriously.

375
00:12:36,034 --> 00:12:37,285
What's going on with him?
It's a whole thing.

376
00:12:37,369 --> 00:12:39,120
Is it gonna screw up the plan?
It's more quietly self-destructive.

377
00:12:39,204 --> 00:12:41,331
Sounds good. Terry, do you.
I have an idea.

378
00:12:41,415 --> 00:12:43,208
So when my dad lost his
flower shop, my Aunt Bruce…

379
00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:45,501
Charles, we don't have time
for a weird Boyle story right now.

380
00:12:45,585 --> 00:12:47,588
Just tell us your idea.
We make a scary hostage video

381
00:12:47,672 --> 00:12:49,048
where it looks like we're gonna kill C.J.

382
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:50,716
Ooh, I love that.

383
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,593
Wait a minute.
Your dad did that to save his flower shop?

384
00:12:52,677 --> 00:12:53,844
Was your aunt the hostage?
What happened there?

385
00:12:53,928 --> 00:12:54,929
You said we didn't have time.

386
00:12:55,013 --> 00:12:56,013
I didn't know it was
the coolest story ever.

387
00:12:56,097 --> 00:12:57,097
Oh, it is.
Well then, tell the whole thing

388
00:12:57,181 --> 00:12:58,265
and spare no detail. Okay.

389
00:12:58,349 --> 00:12:59,892
So, you know how Aunt
Bruce can lactate on command?

390
00:12:59,976 --> 00:13:00,976
Of course. Guys.

391
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:02,937
Yeah, sorry. All right.
So we'll make a hostage video,

392
00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:05,148
but I don't think we should do it here.
It's too nice.

393
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:07,817
Do we know anyone with,
like, a real creepy basement?

394
00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:09,444
Yeah, it's just got
one exposed light bulb

395
00:13:09,528 --> 00:13:10,654
and a couple of spent mattresses.

396
00:13:10,738 --> 00:13:13,073
"Spent"? Oh, yeah. That sounds perfect.

397
00:13:13,157 --> 00:13:16,117
Oh, wait. Before we decide,
Scully, what's your basement like?

398
00:13:16,201 --> 00:13:18,495
Bunch of old Victorian wallpaper
that came with the house.

399
00:13:18,579 --> 00:13:20,456
I tried to peel it off,
but the wall underneath

400
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:21,791
was covered with fingernail scratches.

401
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:23,209
BOTH: Ooh!

402
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:24,877
Hitchcock, can you top it?

403
00:13:24,961 --> 00:13:26,420
Mine has Mother's hospital bed.

404
00:13:26,504 --> 00:13:27,797
Okay, Scully? Yeah.

405
00:13:27,881 --> 00:13:30,675
I got this one red door
I've never been able to open

406
00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:33,136
and I hear screams behind it sometimes.

407
00:13:33,762 --> 00:13:35,362
But it's probably just the wind.

408
00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:38,934
Okay, that's actually too scary.
Hitchcock's it is.

409
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:41,979
How do we get close enough
without attracting attention?

410
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:44,189
Could dance. You must know some moves.

411
00:13:44,273 --> 00:13:46,441
You were mentioned by
name in the <i>Monster Mash.</i>

412
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:47,943
Fine, but on two conditions.

413
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,153
We stay at least four
inches apart at all times,

414
00:13:50,237 --> 00:13:52,115
and you tuck your tail
back into your pants

415
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,034
so I don't trip on it. Deal.

416
00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:58,288
My name is Captain Jason Stentley.

417
00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:00,456
It's Friday night, I think.

418
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,890
There's no windows in here.

419
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,545
This morning, I was kidnapped for real…

420
00:14:05,629 --> 00:14:07,214
Stop. What? What was wrong with that?

421
00:14:07,298 --> 00:14:08,882
You said you were "kidnapped for real."

422
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:10,551
Well, I don't want people to
think I was fake kidnapped.

423
00:14:10,635 --> 00:14:13,304
You know? I'm sellin' it.
Okay, let's just do it again.

424
00:14:13,388 --> 00:14:15,431
Say you were kidnapped and nothing else.

425
00:14:15,515 --> 00:14:17,349
Now he's gonna add "nothing else."

426
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,351
She's right. Okay, fine, one more time.

427
00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:21,020
Take 12. Just say kidnapped.

428
00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:22,104
Okay.

429
00:14:22,188 --> 00:14:23,189
Kidnapped.

430
00:14:23,273 --> 00:14:24,358
[GROANS]

431
00:14:24,817 --> 00:14:28,611
You move well.
Must be all the extra legs, you crab.

432
00:14:28,695 --> 00:14:30,030
Don't you find this exhausting?

433
00:14:30,114 --> 00:14:31,573
Thinking up fresh insults?

434
00:14:31,657 --> 00:14:33,909
Not at all, you coffin cave mold beetle.

435
00:14:35,994 --> 00:14:37,454
I meant our relationship.

436
00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:38,873
Aren't you tired of the rivalry?

437
00:14:38,957 --> 00:14:41,625
We fight and we fight,
and nothing changes.

438
00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:43,085
But we're really not so different.

439
00:14:43,169 --> 00:14:44,754
I suppose we were close once.

440
00:14:44,838 --> 00:14:47,089
Remember Brighton Beach?

441
00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:50,301
Twelve hundred kilos of heroin
in an abandoned subway tunnel.

442
00:14:50,385 --> 00:14:53,721
How could I forget?
The largest drug bust in NYPD history

443
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,891
pulled off by a most unlikely duo.

444
00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:58,393
A woman, and a gay, black detective.

445
00:14:58,477 --> 00:15:02,731
No, I meant a human
and a rotted jack-o'-lantern.

446
00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:04,858
Don't be so hard on yourself.

447
00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:06,992
You weren't all the way rotted back then.

448
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,654
[GASPS] There's John Kelly.

449
00:15:09,738 --> 00:15:11,788
Twirl me into him,
and I'll place the bug.

450
00:15:12,909 --> 00:15:15,661
Hello, John. Right on time, Madeline.

451
00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:18,122
Did Raymond buy it?
Did he think you were bonding?

452
00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:20,708
He was smiling at me like an idiot.

453
00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:23,920
You've betrayed us, you
coffin cave mold beetle!

454
00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:26,548
Okay, one more take.

455
00:15:26,632 --> 00:15:28,675
Please stop saying, "Don't
forget to like and subscribe."

456
00:15:28,759 --> 00:15:30,886
Sure, but how we gonna get
followers on this thing then?

457
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:31,971
[SIGHS]

458
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,139
NYPD! NYPD! What's going on?

459
00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:35,474
What's going on is you're under arrest

460
00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:37,434
for the kidnapping of Jason Stentley.

461
00:15:37,518 --> 00:15:39,395
Kobe.

462
00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:42,149
But Kobe never passed.

463
00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:47,028
I can't go to prison. I couldn't
even get through the scary parts

464
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,279
of the musical, <i>Chicago.</i>

465
00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:49,364
Does anyone have a good lawyer?

466
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,157
I got a divorce guy, an alimony guy,

467
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,493
a slip and fall guy, a
pizza's too hot guy…

468
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,162
Everybody just relax.
We're not gonna go to prison.

469
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,666
It's all gonna work out in the end.
Should we play Celebrity?

470
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,167
Come on, man. Yeah, come on, Terry.

471
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,252
No one wants to play Celebrity,

472
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,129
the best game ever made,
but he does have a point.

473
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,673
-Nothing bad is gonna happen to us.
-PEMBROKE: Wrong!

474
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,007
You turds are about to get flushed.

475
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,552
Come on, Peralta.
You're up first. Let's go.

476
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,305
Oh, cool. So, I'm the first turd
to be flushed. Bye, you guys.

477
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,474
What are you doing?

478
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:15,559
You were gonna get promoted

479
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,561
out of Missing Persons.
Your plan went to hell, tough guy.

480
00:16:17,645 --> 00:16:19,563
Wuntch, she came to
me with a much better one.

481
00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:21,148
Guess what she's giving
me for betraying you?

482
00:16:21,232 --> 00:16:22,899
My dream job, captain of the

483
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,234
69th precinct. Bingo.

484
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:25,735
Look, you're not gonna
get away with this.

485
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,028
You were a part of the whole thing.

486
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,363
First of all, Jake, there's no records

487
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:29,740
that you and I teamed up together

488
00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:32,243
because you insisted that we
only communicate through a beeper.

489
00:16:32,327 --> 00:16:34,996
Stupid beepers.
We're right to be addicted to our phones.

490
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,081
Eyewitness saw you.
The DNA's all over the scene.

491
00:16:37,165 --> 00:16:40,001
And I caught you red-handed
making a hostage video.

492
00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:41,419
Your [BLEEP] is cooked.

493
00:16:41,503 --> 00:16:43,963
That's not a saying. It's "goose."
Who cares about a goose?

494
00:16:44,047 --> 00:16:46,467
I'm talking about cooking a penis.
All right, this is pointless.

495
00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:48,552
C.J. will just tell everyone the truth.
No, he won't.

496
00:16:48,636 --> 00:16:51,096
I bought him off.
All I gotta do is play <i>Madden</i> with him.

497
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,848
Come on, C.J.! Hey, you know what?

498
00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:53,932
I just beefed hard,

499
00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:55,601
so I'm gonna let you stew
in here for a little while.

500
00:16:55,685 --> 00:16:56,935
I am loving it.

501
00:16:57,019 --> 00:16:59,313
[CHUCKLES] Such a loser.

502
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,941
And this is rock-bottom.

503
00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:03,610
Oh, Raymond. This is sad.

504
00:17:03,694 --> 00:17:05,487
He's the one you
think of like a son, right?

505
00:17:05,571 --> 00:17:08,072
Or are you closer to Santiago?
Not that it matters.

506
00:17:08,156 --> 00:17:09,199
They're both equally going to prison.

507
00:17:09,283 --> 00:17:11,633
Oh, come on, Madeline.
There's no need to gloat.

508
00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:13,870
Though, it does feel good.

509
00:17:13,954 --> 00:17:14,996
Gloaty, gloat, gloat.

510
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,999
I knew I never should have trusted you.

511
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,002
Yes, obviously not, you dum-dum.

512
00:17:20,086 --> 00:17:21,879
John, you're gonna wanna remember this.

513
00:17:21,963 --> 00:17:24,257
Why don't you snap a photo of him?
Oh, yeah.

514
00:17:25,508 --> 00:17:26,634
KELLY: Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

515
00:17:26,718 --> 00:17:27,801
Why don't you get in there with him?

516
00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:29,428
Oh, why the heck not?

517
00:17:29,512 --> 00:17:31,096
My kids just got me
a digital picture frame.

518
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:34,851
All right, everybody say, Nine-Nine.
Nine-Nine.

519
00:17:34,935 --> 00:17:36,895
Mmm, Raymond, I love the scowl,

520
00:17:36,979 --> 00:17:38,939
but could you slump
your shoulders a bit more?

521
00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:41,373
Remember, you're a man
who just lost everything.

522
00:17:42,109 --> 00:17:43,652
-And done.
-[PHONE CHIMES]

523
00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:47,572
We got it, Peralta.

524
00:17:47,656 --> 00:17:49,867
Boom! Are they totally shocked?

525
00:17:49,951 --> 00:17:51,869
Is Kelly like, "What just happened?"

526
00:17:51,953 --> 00:17:54,372
-What just happened?
-MADELINE: You've been had, John.

527
00:17:54,456 --> 00:17:56,123
You see, when you handed
me your unlocked phone

528
00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:58,000
just now to snap that photo,

529
00:17:58,084 --> 00:18:00,086
I cloned it to a secure network server.

530
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:01,462
When you handed Wuntch your locked phone…

531
00:18:01,546 --> 00:18:03,047
Yeah, yeah. I already said that part.

532
00:18:03,131 --> 00:18:06,093
Sorry. I can't see or hear anything.
I'll just be quiet from now on.

533
00:18:06,177 --> 00:18:07,636
I might chime in with
a "yeah" here and there

534
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,971
-to stay in the mix.
-MADELINE: Great.

535
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,305
The only way to get you to trust me

536
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,558
-is if you thought I was betraying Holt.
-Yeah!

537
00:18:12,642 --> 00:18:14,977
And now I have access to all
your personal correspondence…

538
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,938
All right!
Including all stingray authorizations.

539
00:18:18,022 --> 00:18:21,150
It's over, Kelly. You're done. Okay.

540
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,944
You may have won this round, Madeline,

541
00:18:23,028 --> 00:18:24,779
but you're gonna live to regret it.

542
00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:27,407
You are both so gonna live to regret it.

543
00:18:27,491 --> 00:18:29,993
-I agree with what was just said.
-MADELINE: Hey, Jake?

544
00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:31,953
I'm just gonna hold this down.
Yeah, sounds good. Thank you.

545
00:18:32,037 --> 00:18:33,496
When did you hatch this plan?

546
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,373
Peralta thought of it when
I tried to quit the mission.

547
00:18:35,457 --> 00:18:37,084
Hey, what's Holt's expression right now?

548
00:18:37,168 --> 00:18:39,962
-Would you describe it as, proud daddy?
-MADELINE: It's hard to tell.

549
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:42,006
He's still piecing it together.
This could take a while.

550
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:45,384
Why didn't you just tell me
what was actually happening?

551
00:18:45,468 --> 00:18:48,304
I wanted to, sir, but it involved
trusting Madeline Wuntch,

552
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,431
and I just didn't think
you could handle it.

553
00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:52,165
But I'm sorry that I lied to you.

554
00:18:53,727 --> 00:18:55,521
Sir? Sir?

555
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:56,855
Oh, no. Is he mad?

556
00:18:56,939 --> 00:18:58,607
I can't see anything. Did he storm out?

557
00:18:58,691 --> 00:19:02,777
No, I stormed in to tell
you it was a great plan.

558
00:19:02,861 --> 00:19:05,030
Nice work, Peralta. And there it is.

559
00:19:05,114 --> 00:19:07,032
The proud daddy.

560
00:19:07,324 --> 00:19:09,744
Well, well, well. Commissioner.

561
00:19:09,828 --> 00:19:11,370
Still not used to hearing that.

562
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,456
Of course, I'm only acting commissioner

563
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:14,665
until they choose someone permanent.

564
00:19:14,749 --> 00:19:17,877
Might well be you.
After all, you brought down John Kelly.

565
00:19:17,961 --> 00:19:19,253
Wonder what he's doing now.

566
00:19:19,337 --> 00:19:21,464
He's got a much higher-paying
job in the private sector.

567
00:19:21,548 --> 00:19:23,258
Yes, the world is horrible.

568
00:19:23,551 --> 00:19:25,886
Mmm. But then again,
sometimes, it surprises you.

569
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:29,056
This whole time, I thought
you were up to something,

570
00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:31,767
but really, you just wanted
what was right for the NYPD.

571
00:19:31,851 --> 00:19:32,852
I did.

572
00:19:33,561 --> 00:19:35,646
But also, I was up to something.

573
00:19:37,106 --> 00:19:38,607
JEFFORDS: Could I
have everyone's attention?

574
00:19:38,691 --> 00:19:40,234
I know it's my last day,

575
00:19:40,318 --> 00:19:43,363
and I've been in
denial about it all week.

576
00:19:43,447 --> 00:19:44,822
And I still am.

577
00:19:44,906 --> 00:19:47,867
So, I'm giving this toast for no reason.
Here's to nothing!

578
00:19:47,951 --> 00:19:51,120
You okay there, Ter?
It's just that, if I wasn't in denial,

579
00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:54,704
I would be so depressed right now
at the thought of leaving all of you.

580
00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:57,211
Yeah, we'd be depressed, too,

581
00:19:57,295 --> 00:19:59,838
if anything was
happening, which it isn't.

582
00:19:59,922 --> 00:20:01,340
Right, and I'm not gonna say

583
00:20:01,424 --> 00:20:04,259
that no matter what precinct
number is on your uniform,

584
00:20:04,343 --> 00:20:06,345
you will always be part of the Nine-Nine.

585
00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:09,306
It means so much to me that
you aren't saying that right now.

586
00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:10,892
And I wanna say I'm
not gonna miss you at all,

587
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,560
you piece of crap. Good riddance.

588
00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:14,229
Pretty sure you're misreading
the game here, Charles.

589
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,480
Yeah. I see that now.

590
00:20:15,564 --> 00:20:17,273
-To nothing.
-ALL: To nothing!

591
00:20:17,357 --> 00:20:19,776
Thanks, guys, but this sucks.

592
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,778
Terry, come on.
We're still gonna see you all the time.

593
00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:24,262
I promise.
You'll come visit me in Staten Island?

594
00:20:24,698 --> 00:20:26,408
Yeah! Or, you know,

595
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,412
you can come to Brooklyn.
There's seven of us, one of you,

596
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,038
but we can iron out the details later.

597
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,790
Nobody's going to Staten Island.

598
00:20:32,874 --> 00:20:34,583
Okay, damn, I get it. I'll come to you.

599
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,127
No, you're staying here at the Nine-Nine.

600
00:20:36,211 --> 00:20:37,878
I just talked to Madeline Wuntch.

601
00:20:37,962 --> 00:20:39,422
She's making a personnel change,

602
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:40,756
which frees up some room in the budget.

603
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,718
Really? What kind of personnel change?

604
00:20:42,802 --> 00:20:46,346
I told her that I'd only spent a month
as a patrolman before I made detective.

605
00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:48,140
She said that's against regulations

606
00:20:48,224 --> 00:20:51,768
and has decided to rectify the situation.

607
00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:53,645
Rectify it how?

608
00:20:53,729 --> 00:20:55,147
[BLOWS WHISTLE]

609
00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:09,078
<i>-♪ That's life ♪
-♪ That's life ♪</i>

610
00:21:09,162 --> 00:21:11,748
<i>♪ That's what all the people say ♪</i>

611
00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:16,587
<i>♪ You're riding high in April ♪</i>

612
00:21:16,671 --> 00:21:19,089
<i>♪ Shot down in May ♪</i>

613
00:21:19,173 --> 00:21:23,719
<i>♪ But I know I'm gonna change that tune ♪</i>

614
00:21:24,887 --> 00:21:25,888
<i>♪ When I… ♪</i>