1 00:00:05,332 --> 00:00:07,543 Hey, hey, hey! It's the best day of the year. 2 00:00:07,627 --> 00:00:09,962 Happy Cinco de Mayo! 3 00:00:10,046 --> 00:00:12,090 I don't think you're allowed to wear a poncho at work, Hitchcock. 4 00:00:12,174 --> 00:00:13,926 -[ELEVATOR DINGS] -Let's fiesta! 5 00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:15,761 [BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC] 6 00:00:15,845 --> 00:00:16,930 Oh, you got a band. 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,560 Stop! Stop! No trumpets. 8 00:00:21,644 --> 00:00:23,562 Not today! My head is killing me. 9 00:00:23,646 --> 00:00:25,022 Hit the tequila a little early, huh? 10 00:00:25,106 --> 00:00:27,442 I'm not hung over, Hitchcock. I've got a tension headache. 11 00:00:27,526 --> 00:00:28,944 I've got the lieutenant's exam tonight. 12 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,530 I'm stress-eating like crazy. 13 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,740 I had ten hard-boiled egg yolks this morning. 14 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,033 Gross. You're having a high-grade 15 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,661 pre-test freak out. 16 00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:38,247 I've been there. March 13, 2001. 17 00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:40,583 AP Calc test… Ames, I hate to cut you off, 18 00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:42,001 but we all know where this story's going. 19 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:45,005 Oh, yeah? You know that I crapped my pants in the middle of the test? 20 00:00:45,089 --> 00:00:46,674 Oh, my God, no, I thought you were just gonna say 21 00:00:46,758 --> 00:00:48,008 you got a B+ or something. 22 00:00:48,092 --> 00:00:49,511 More like a BM. Noice. 23 00:00:49,595 --> 00:00:52,847 Come on, now Terry's worried about his test and his bowels. 24 00:00:52,931 --> 00:00:54,642 What you need, Sergeant, is to distract yourself. 25 00:00:54,726 --> 00:00:58,522 NPR has a riveting six-hour interview with Eileen Moon Myers. 26 00:00:58,606 --> 00:00:59,648 Nobody knows who that is. 27 00:00:59,732 --> 00:01:01,358 Nobody knows the associate principal cellist 28 00:01:01,442 --> 00:01:03,987 in the New York Philharmonic? [SNORTS] Okay. 29 00:01:04,071 --> 00:01:05,071 Wait! I've got it. 30 00:01:05,155 --> 00:01:06,489 I know how to distract Terry. 31 00:01:06,573 --> 00:01:08,576 Captain, remember how you canceled the last Halloween heist 32 00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:10,786 because there was that emergency gas line explosion 33 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,413 and you said we had to "help out"? 34 00:01:12,497 --> 00:01:13,790 Yes, I also remember 35 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,875 you refusing to believe the explosion was real. 36 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,587 Go back to acting school, buddy. 37 00:01:17,671 --> 00:01:19,630 You're way overselling the pain here. 38 00:01:19,714 --> 00:01:20,924 No one's buying it. 39 00:01:21,174 --> 00:01:23,510 Well, it's not like I was the only one who thought it was fake. 40 00:01:23,594 --> 00:01:26,723 And the Oscar goes to… Trent! 41 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,351 You said that we should reschedule the heist 42 00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:32,855 for another day, so why not today? 43 00:01:32,939 --> 00:01:34,356 To help distract Terry? 44 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,026 Yes! And I would love to defend my crown 45 00:01:36,110 --> 00:01:37,819 after I destroyed you all last year. 46 00:01:37,903 --> 00:01:40,656 Well, I mean, the proposal was all part of my plan. 47 00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:43,034 All I remember is you bowing to me on your knees. 48 00:01:43,118 --> 00:01:44,535 Yeah, I was asking you to marry me. 49 00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:45,662 Well, you look like a fool. 50 00:01:45,746 --> 00:01:47,831 Neither of you won because Jake swapped out 51 00:01:47,915 --> 00:01:49,541 the real championship cummerbund… 52 00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:51,336 Belt. For the treacly proposal one. 53 00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:53,671 What? I thought everyone loved that I used the heist to do the proposal. 54 00:01:53,755 --> 00:01:56,342 You are wrong, everyone hated it. But it helped me win. 55 00:01:56,426 --> 00:01:59,136 During your engagement celebration, I snuck back 56 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,473 and found the original cummerbund. Belt. 57 00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:03,058 It's hanging up in my living room at home. 58 00:02:03,142 --> 00:02:05,728 I never thought I'd say this, but enough foreplay. 59 00:02:05,812 --> 00:02:06,896 Are we heisting or not? 60 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:07,980 Yes! Of course! 61 00:02:08,064 --> 00:02:10,192 Wait, I will only do this under one condition. 62 00:02:10,276 --> 00:02:13,237 Sergeant Jeffords agrees that this will help his nerves. 63 00:02:13,321 --> 00:02:16,199 Yeah, I mean, I would like to take my mind off the test. 64 00:02:16,283 --> 00:02:18,202 And maybe I'll win this year! 65 00:02:18,286 --> 00:02:19,703 [LAUGHS] Ah, the heist is already working. 66 00:02:19,787 --> 00:02:22,164 Sergeant Jeffords has recovered his sense of humor. 67 00:02:22,248 --> 00:02:23,249 -[ALL LAUGHING] -Hey! 68 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:24,417 All right, but for real, though. 69 00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:25,585 Are we doing this? 70 00:02:25,669 --> 00:02:26,711 We're doing this! Heist! 71 00:02:26,795 --> 00:02:27,797 ALL: Heist! 72 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,840 It's a Cinco de Mayo heist! 73 00:02:29,924 --> 00:02:31,008 A Cinco de Mayo heist 74 00:02:31,092 --> 00:02:33,637 makes just as much sense as Halloween! Let's do it! 75 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,723 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 76 00:02:54,245 --> 00:02:56,873 Welcome, one and all, to the first ever 77 00:02:56,957 --> 00:03:00,086 Cinco de Mayo Halloween Heist 6. 78 00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:01,212 We're still working on the title. 79 00:03:01,296 --> 00:03:02,922 No need, I love it! Thank you, Charles. 80 00:03:03,006 --> 00:03:04,549 Now, before we go any further, 81 00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:06,635 we should probably choose an item to steal. 82 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,429 Does anyone have anything valuable on them? 83 00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:09,514 Maybe some jewelry? 84 00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:11,683 I have a medical alert bracelet that tells people 85 00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:12,851 my name and address, 86 00:03:12,935 --> 00:03:14,478 in case I have a brain collapse. 87 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:15,563 Perfect, this year's champion 88 00:03:15,647 --> 00:03:16,731 will be whoever's in possession 89 00:03:16,815 --> 00:03:18,900 of Scully's very upsetting bracelet at midnight tonight. 90 00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:20,777 I take my test at 6:30. You know what, Terry? 91 00:03:20,861 --> 00:03:21,903 You're kind of making this a nightmare. 92 00:03:21,987 --> 00:03:23,029 Maybe you just shouldn't participate. 93 00:03:23,113 --> 00:03:24,866 So this really isn't about helping out Sergeant Jeffords? 94 00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:25,950 What? I guess I'm out. 95 00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:27,201 But, no, no, come on. 96 00:03:27,285 --> 00:03:29,204 Of course, I'm 100% in support of Terry. 97 00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:31,206 In fact, I'm going to team up with him. 98 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:32,332 [CHUCKLING] Let's do this! 99 00:03:32,416 --> 00:03:34,043 You are so easily manipulated. 100 00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:35,962 Now you're stuck with Sergeant Dumb Dumb. 101 00:03:36,046 --> 00:03:37,046 Damn it. Hey. 102 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,300 Santiago, shall we join forces? 103 00:03:39,926 --> 00:03:42,804 Ooh! Smart, teaming up with the reigning champ. 104 00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:45,307 Again with this nonsense? I'm the reigning champ. 105 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:48,019 The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of 106 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,313 mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake. 107 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,024 [GASPS] How dare you! 108 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,859 No one thinks you won last year. 109 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,402 Wow, really thought the "how dare you" was going to be 110 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,405 linked to his mean sex comment, but okay. 111 00:03:57,489 --> 00:03:59,115 Right, sorry. I'll have you know 112 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:02,286 Jake and I wear each other out every single night. 113 00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:04,371 Good lord, overcompensating. You know what? 114 00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:05,874 Maybe we just shouldn't talk about this at work. 115 00:04:05,958 --> 00:04:08,460 I'm texting Kevin to bring the cummerbund. 116 00:04:08,544 --> 00:04:10,129 You'll see who the real winner is, 117 00:04:10,213 --> 00:04:11,255 you braggy breeders. 118 00:04:11,339 --> 00:04:14,050 A lot of infighting. Not too late to ditch Amy 119 00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:16,261 and team up with this pussycat burglar. 120 00:04:16,345 --> 00:04:17,554 Please, Boyle, your only value 121 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:18,889 was you had a doppelganger 122 00:04:18,973 --> 00:04:21,392 which no longer matters since Bill died in that accident. 123 00:04:21,476 --> 00:04:22,519 RIP, Bill. So sad. 124 00:04:22,603 --> 00:04:24,522 I can still be useful without Bill. 125 00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:26,606 No hole's too tight for these tiny tips. 126 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,984 [ALL GROANING] 127 00:04:28,109 --> 00:04:29,152 For stealing stuff. 128 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,237 Well, fine. 129 00:04:30,321 --> 00:04:31,988 Looks like I'll just team up with my friend Rosa. 130 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,616 I'm out. Five heists was enough. 131 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,618 We've exhausted every possibility of this thing. 132 00:04:35,702 --> 00:04:38,079 Literally nothing new can happen. It's boring. 133 00:04:38,163 --> 00:04:39,248 You can have a long lunch with me instead. 134 00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:41,667 Ooh, lunch? The devil's breakfast. 135 00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:43,127 Well, forget it. Okay, I won't call it that! 136 00:04:43,211 --> 00:04:44,420 I just want to be included in something. 137 00:04:44,504 --> 00:04:47,048 Okay, that whole lunch thing was clearly a ploy. 138 00:04:47,132 --> 00:04:49,718 But even still, I'm not worried about losing to Boyle. 139 00:04:49,802 --> 00:04:51,303 No one is. He's a joke. 140 00:04:51,387 --> 00:04:52,806 All right, let's get this thing going. 141 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:53,890 Scully will be locked 142 00:04:53,974 --> 00:04:55,433 in the supply closet with his bracelet. 143 00:04:55,517 --> 00:04:56,917 Can I lie down on the floor? 144 00:04:57,062 --> 00:04:59,063 Uh, yeah. You can do whatever you want. 145 00:04:59,147 --> 00:05:00,147 And you're already on the ground. 146 00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:01,775 With Hitchcock. And you both have pillows. 147 00:05:01,859 --> 00:05:03,027 Best day ever. 148 00:05:05,029 --> 00:05:06,489 There. Now they're locked in. 149 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,033 Arrange your affairs. The heist begins in five minutes. 150 00:05:09,117 --> 00:05:10,911 Five minutes? But this whole thing was so last second. 151 00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:12,913 I don't even have any plans or supplies. 152 00:05:12,997 --> 00:05:14,248 I have so many plans and supplies. 153 00:05:14,332 --> 00:05:15,625 I even have a victory banner 154 00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:17,127 that unfurls with a voice command. 155 00:05:17,211 --> 00:05:18,503 I can't say what, but it's so cool. 156 00:05:18,587 --> 00:05:20,464 I thought this was a spur-of-the-moment fun way 157 00:05:20,548 --> 00:05:22,216 to distract me from freaking out about my exam. 158 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,093 Well, it wasn't exactly hard to predict, Sarge. 159 00:05:24,177 --> 00:05:26,138 Your catchphrase is "Terry hates tests." 160 00:05:26,222 --> 00:05:27,806 It's true. Terry hates tests! 161 00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:29,141 But the point is, I planned everything, 162 00:05:29,225 --> 00:05:30,476 starting with Scully's bracelet. 163 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,520 It had to be the prize because I have prepared 164 00:05:32,604 --> 00:05:34,231 the greatest reveal in heist history. 165 00:05:34,315 --> 00:05:35,817 Allow me to introduce you to… 166 00:05:37,527 --> 00:05:38,778 Other Scully. 167 00:05:39,697 --> 00:05:42,116 Hi, I'm Earl, Norm's twin brother. 168 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:44,577 Why has Scully never mentioned he had a twin before? 169 00:05:44,661 --> 00:05:46,829 Because no one talks about their siblings with coworkers. 170 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,205 I've told you about my brother Lawrence. 171 00:05:48,289 --> 00:05:49,416 Nope, and I don't want to learn about him 172 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,500 and I already forgot his name. 173 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,234 Now let's go. It's time to heist! 174 00:05:52,336 --> 00:05:54,756 No movement yet. So here's our plan. 175 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,760 After watching everyone coo over your maudlin proposal, 176 00:05:57,844 --> 00:05:59,803 I've decided we should employ a similar diversion. 177 00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:01,263 Smart, I'm in. You will tell Jake 178 00:06:01,347 --> 00:06:02,724 you are pregnant with his child. 179 00:06:02,808 --> 00:06:04,059 What? I'm not pregnant. 180 00:06:04,143 --> 00:06:05,477 Here is a positive pregnancy test 181 00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:06,895 and a sonogram of your fetus. 182 00:06:06,979 --> 00:06:08,522 Congratulations. It's a girl. 183 00:06:08,606 --> 00:06:11,108 Feels a little mean to play with Jake's feelings like that, sir. 184 00:06:11,192 --> 00:06:12,986 You're right, it is mean. Too bad. 185 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:15,072 As your mentor, I command you to do it. 186 00:06:15,156 --> 00:06:16,783 Wow, okay. 187 00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:19,202 Perhaps we should discuss some other options. 188 00:06:19,286 --> 00:06:20,386 There's no time, look. 189 00:06:20,662 --> 00:06:22,373 Peralta's going for the bracelet! 190 00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:24,375 How'd he get him free so quickly? 191 00:06:24,459 --> 00:06:26,419 See ya later, losers! Not so fast! 192 00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:28,203 -[TASER CRACKLING] -[PERALTA GRUNTS] 193 00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:30,424 What the hell was that? 194 00:06:30,508 --> 00:06:32,093 That Fitbit I gave you at Christmas? 195 00:06:32,177 --> 00:06:33,719 I modified it into a Taser. 196 00:06:33,803 --> 00:06:35,514 What? Do you even want me to get into shape? 197 00:06:35,598 --> 00:06:37,548 Yeah, but not as much as I want to win. 198 00:06:37,808 --> 00:06:38,850 Buzz buzz, bitch. 199 00:06:38,934 --> 00:06:40,684 I've got Scully. Come on, let's go. 200 00:06:40,812 --> 00:06:42,212 -[TASER CRACKLING] -[GRUNTING] 201 00:06:42,814 --> 00:06:44,484 No! No! 202 00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:47,862 Yes. 203 00:06:48,863 --> 00:06:50,365 Fake heist went perfectly. 204 00:06:50,449 --> 00:06:51,549 So did the real heist. 205 00:06:52,284 --> 00:06:53,995 Why is your face twitching like that? 206 00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:55,663 Oh, Amy Tased me a bunch. I bit my own tongue. 207 00:06:55,747 --> 00:06:57,248 It was awesome. Was it hard to get through the door? 208 00:06:57,332 --> 00:06:58,583 No. I'm strong as hell. 209 00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,253 The hard part was getting this bracelet off Scully's wrist. 210 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:04,090 How can you even feel your hand with this thing so tight? 211 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,134 You're supposed to feel your hand? Well, that's terrifying. 212 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,218 Now if you'll excuse me, 213 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,596 I'm going to hide the old bracelet and win me this heist. 214 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,223 Don't you mean win us this heist? 215 00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:13,477 Oh, Terrence, unfortunately I do not. 216 00:07:15,479 --> 00:07:17,273 What the hell? Sorry, Sarge. 217 00:07:17,357 --> 00:07:19,066 It had to be this way. Why? 218 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:20,443 The banner only has my name on it. 219 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,737 It's really all about the banner. 220 00:07:21,821 --> 00:07:23,071 It unfurls by a voice command. 221 00:07:23,155 --> 00:07:24,281 But I promise that I will mention 222 00:07:24,365 --> 00:07:26,743 both you and Earl Scully in my victory speech. 223 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:27,827 -Wait, Earl's here? -PERALTA: Yeah. 224 00:07:27,911 --> 00:07:28,995 He helped us with the heist. 225 00:07:29,079 --> 00:07:30,455 I told that son of a bitch 226 00:07:30,539 --> 00:07:32,833 never to show his face in New York again! 227 00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:34,967 Oh, why are you running towards the glass? 228 00:07:35,963 --> 00:07:36,963 [GRUNTS] 229 00:07:37,047 --> 00:07:38,632 You're a dead man, Earl! 230 00:07:39,675 --> 00:07:41,886 That's not great. You're a dead man, Jake! 231 00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:43,012 That's much worse. 232 00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,144 Squirt more lube and help me yank. 233 00:07:48,853 --> 00:07:51,731 You know that fun braggy recap we do at the end of each win? 234 00:07:51,815 --> 00:07:52,815 Can we leave this part out? 235 00:07:52,899 --> 00:07:55,027 [GRUNTS] Yes. We'll make up a cooler thing. 236 00:07:55,111 --> 00:07:56,612 But for now, we lube and yank. 237 00:07:56,696 --> 00:07:59,115 Wrap your legs around him to anchor yourself. 238 00:07:59,199 --> 00:08:00,325 Yep. Here we go. 239 00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:02,661 [BOTH GRUNTING] 240 00:08:03,328 --> 00:08:05,039 Earl? Earl! 241 00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:06,291 Norm? 242 00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:08,375 -EARL: Norm? -SANTIAGO: What the… 243 00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:10,087 EARL: I'm so happy your friend invited me to… 244 00:08:10,171 --> 00:08:12,172 I told you what would happen if I ever saw you again, Earl. 245 00:08:12,256 --> 00:08:14,717 What is going on? What am I looking at? 246 00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:16,594 JEFFORDS: Scully has a twin brother named Earl. 247 00:08:16,678 --> 00:08:18,222 Jake brought him here to trick you. 248 00:08:18,306 --> 00:08:19,681 Thank you for the ride, Terrence. 249 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,600 Apparently they don't get along very well. 250 00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:23,645 We did get along. We were inseparable, 251 00:08:23,729 --> 00:08:25,021 until Earl slept with my wife. 252 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,106 It's not my fault 253 00:08:26,190 --> 00:08:27,942 she wanted to have sex with a stud instead of a dud. 254 00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:30,361 Stud? Your face looks it's been kicked in by a horse! 255 00:08:30,445 --> 00:08:31,947 Well, your mouth looks like a butthole! 256 00:08:32,031 --> 00:08:33,532 Your whole body looks like a butthole. 257 00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:34,783 And you look identical. 258 00:08:34,867 --> 00:08:36,452 [GRUNTING] 259 00:08:37,996 --> 00:08:39,330 Should we help Scully? 260 00:08:39,414 --> 00:08:40,498 I'm not touching this. 261 00:08:40,582 --> 00:08:41,584 [BOTH GRUNTING] 262 00:08:43,419 --> 00:08:44,420 [SCREAMS] 263 00:08:45,755 --> 00:08:47,605 SCULLY: There's nowhere to run, Earl. 264 00:08:48,175 --> 00:08:50,552 Well, that was a real mind eff. 265 00:08:50,637 --> 00:08:51,637 Goodbye. Just so you know, 266 00:08:51,721 --> 00:08:53,180 Jake has the bracelet in his pocket. 267 00:08:53,264 --> 00:08:54,723 Why would you tell them that? We're a team! 268 00:08:54,807 --> 00:08:57,257 You locked me up. Yeah, but they didn't know that! 269 00:08:57,519 --> 00:08:58,770 There's no bracelet in his pocket. 270 00:08:58,854 --> 00:09:00,857 What? There should be. 271 00:09:01,483 --> 00:09:02,525 Where'd it go? 272 00:09:03,735 --> 00:09:05,445 Shalom, partner. Dope. 273 00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:08,240 And you thought Shlomo Ben-Yisrael wouldn't come through. 274 00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:10,118 No, I said the name and the costume 275 00:09:10,202 --> 00:09:11,953 were offensive, bordering on actionable. 276 00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,623 Well, it worked. Jake brought in Scully's twin 277 00:09:14,707 --> 00:09:16,750 just like I planned when I connected them on Facebook, 278 00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:18,628 but he had no idea they hated each other. 279 00:09:18,712 --> 00:09:19,963 BOYLE: And when everyone was fighting, 280 00:09:20,047 --> 00:09:22,174 they were too distracted to notice old Shlomo. 281 00:09:22,258 --> 00:09:23,718 They all underestimated me, Rosa, 282 00:09:23,802 --> 00:09:26,095 but today, they will learn the error of their ways, 283 00:09:26,179 --> 00:09:30,475 for today, I will prove that nobody gets the best of Charles Boyle. 284 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:31,643 I doused your beard in chloroform. 285 00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:34,356 Really? I find that very hard to… 286 00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:44,075 Where's this going? All the way to Trenton. 287 00:09:44,159 --> 00:09:45,160 Take your time. 288 00:09:45,995 --> 00:09:47,538 Ah! Perfect. 289 00:09:47,622 --> 00:09:49,248 What? What happened? You know where the bracelet is? 290 00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:50,833 No. Kevin has arrived with proof 291 00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:53,337 that I am the only two-time winner of the heist. [SIGHS] 292 00:09:53,421 --> 00:09:54,463 Here's your cummerbund, Raymond. 293 00:09:54,547 --> 00:09:56,216 We don't have time for this, sir! 294 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,550 I'm gonna go search the first floor. 295 00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:59,385 And I will search the second floor. 296 00:09:59,469 --> 00:10:01,723 We are an inseparable team. 297 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:03,766 That was a devious fib. 298 00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:05,600 I'm betraying her even as we speak. 299 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:09,522 Hey, Kev. Diaz and I are covertly working together. 300 00:10:09,606 --> 00:10:11,484 She snuck up through the vents. 301 00:10:12,235 --> 00:10:14,528 This is a major reveal. I feel like you're not appreciating it. 302 00:10:14,612 --> 00:10:16,615 I don't like these heists, or what they bring out in you. 303 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,409 Oh, clam it, Kevin. "Clam it"? 304 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:19,911 Cheddar, perhaps we should leave. 305 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,329 No, Cheddar stays. 306 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,122 He still has an important role to play. 307 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,356 Give me Mr. Hootsworth. 308 00:10:25,752 --> 00:10:28,212 No one would ever think of looking for the bracelet 309 00:10:28,296 --> 00:10:29,965 in Cheddar's favorite chew toy. 310 00:10:30,049 --> 00:10:33,301 Or do you mean Jake's favorite chew toy? 311 00:10:33,385 --> 00:10:34,554 [LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY] 312 00:10:35,263 --> 00:10:37,563 Well, thank God no one was around to hear that. 313 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,978 Ah. There you are. I've been looking all over. 314 00:10:41,062 --> 00:10:43,439 Whoa! That's a lot of yolks. Are you stress eating again 315 00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:44,857 or is this just a small Terry snack? 316 00:10:44,941 --> 00:10:45,942 I'm stress eating, Jake. 317 00:10:46,026 --> 00:10:47,569 My snack yolks are in that bowl. 318 00:10:47,653 --> 00:10:50,072 Well, stop eating eggs and come help me with the heist! 319 00:10:50,156 --> 00:10:51,573 I'm not helping you. Why not? 320 00:10:51,657 --> 00:10:53,326 Ugh, is this because I once betrayed you? 321 00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,120 Yes! It was our last interaction. 322 00:10:55,204 --> 00:10:56,329 And it was a huge mistake, 323 00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:57,665 and I now realize that our friendship 324 00:10:57,749 --> 00:10:59,959 is way more important than any stupid banner. 325 00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:01,962 Look, the bracelet is in Cheddar's chew toy. 326 00:11:02,046 --> 00:11:04,089 I know because I bugged Holt's cummerbund. 327 00:11:04,173 --> 00:11:05,507 You did? Yes! I figured he would 328 00:11:05,591 --> 00:11:07,385 bring it in to show off. Now let's do this! 329 00:11:07,469 --> 00:11:08,469 I don't know. 330 00:11:08,553 --> 00:11:09,846 Look, Sarge, I'm sorry, okay? 331 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,807 I can't undo the past, but come on. 332 00:11:11,891 --> 00:11:13,267 Would you rather win the heist with me 333 00:11:13,351 --> 00:11:14,643 or sit around swallowing eggs 334 00:11:14,727 --> 00:11:16,187 like Birdo from Super Mario 2? 335 00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:18,565 Birdo doesn't eat eggs. Birdo spits them! 336 00:11:18,649 --> 00:11:20,066 Oh, my God, you got that reference, Terry? 337 00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:22,737 We're the perfect team. Come on, Sarge, please? 338 00:11:23,988 --> 00:11:25,741 Fine, I'll help. Ah! Wonderful. 339 00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:26,992 But, before you fully commit, 340 00:11:27,076 --> 00:11:28,410 I should probably give you the heads-up. 341 00:11:28,494 --> 00:11:30,621 My plan is very elaborate and you might get a little messy. 342 00:11:30,705 --> 00:11:33,124 I'm in. It's the heist, baby! 343 00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:34,710 Now let me know how we get that chew toy. 344 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:35,836 All right. Okay. 345 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,129 First, I infiltrate Holt's office 346 00:11:37,213 --> 00:11:38,213 and continue our argument 347 00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:39,716 about who won last year's heist. 348 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,719 How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero! 349 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,473 It's one bund to none, son! Tell him, Kevin. 350 00:11:45,557 --> 00:11:46,932 I'm leaving. It doesn't matter… 351 00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:48,017 PERALTA: As Holt argues with me, 352 00:11:48,101 --> 00:11:49,561 I will be covertly releasing 353 00:11:49,645 --> 00:11:51,104 more water into Cheddar's bowl. 354 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,233 Then we sit back and wait for… 355 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:55,193 -[CHEDDAR WHIMPERS] -Potty time again? 356 00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:56,444 What if he takes him downstairs? 357 00:11:56,528 --> 00:11:58,113 He won't. I spent a lot of time 358 00:11:58,197 --> 00:12:00,491 making clandestine searches on Holt's computer. 359 00:12:00,575 --> 00:12:03,244 Now all of his targeted ads direct him straight to… 360 00:12:03,328 --> 00:12:05,497 The Puppy PeePee Pad. Intriguing. 361 00:12:05,581 --> 00:12:07,041 He bought one and put it out on the roof 362 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,501 next to Gina's golden statue. 363 00:12:08,585 --> 00:12:10,252 And, because he believes that Cheddar deserves 364 00:12:10,336 --> 00:12:12,714 to pee in privacy like any other self-respecting adult, 365 00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,884 he will leave Cheddar outside alone to do his business. 366 00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,929 Notify me when you're done, via bark. 367 00:12:18,013 --> 00:12:19,055 PERALTA: While Holt guards the door, 368 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,809 you'll be swapping out Mr. Hootsworth for this. 369 00:12:21,893 --> 00:12:23,143 JEFFORDS: That all sounds great, 370 00:12:23,227 --> 00:12:25,104 but how do I get onto the roof without Holt noticing? 371 00:12:25,188 --> 00:12:27,315 Oh, Sarge. You'll already be out there… 372 00:12:27,399 --> 00:12:29,693 In a perfect golden disguise. 373 00:12:31,905 --> 00:12:33,781 The plan worked! I got it! Oh my God, 374 00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:34,865 you look like an Oscar. 375 00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:36,701 Ooh. We should take a picture where it looks like I'm holding you. 376 00:12:36,785 --> 00:12:37,786 Jake. You're right. 377 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:39,079 There's no time. We'll do it later. No, we won't. 378 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:40,248 Help me get this paint off. 379 00:12:40,332 --> 00:12:41,332 Okay, put your hands out and 380 00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:43,167 I'll squirt you with a little makeup remover. 381 00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:44,837 Hi-ya! No! 382 00:12:45,505 --> 00:12:47,548 You're betraying me again? Why? 383 00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:48,674 Because of the banner! 384 00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,051 But I thought you said our friendship was more important! 385 00:12:50,135 --> 00:12:51,636 Yeah, that was obviously a lie. 386 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,346 The banner was very expensive! 387 00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:54,807 I don't have a lot of money, Sarge. 388 00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:55,892 All right, bye. 389 00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:59,069 Don't make a lot of noise. 390 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:05,236 Howdy. I just got back from lunch with Charles, who is not here. 391 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,113 I am real glad I skipped the heist. Say, who is winning? 392 00:13:07,197 --> 00:13:09,366 I don't know, but I know that I am not winning. 393 00:13:09,450 --> 00:13:11,034 Interesting, it is also not me. 394 00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,370 Uh, why are you guys acting so weird? 395 00:13:12,454 --> 00:13:13,455 [SCOFFS] Weird? 396 00:13:13,539 --> 00:13:16,082 Would a person who is acting weird laugh like this? 397 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:17,835 [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] Carefree! 398 00:13:17,919 --> 00:13:19,254 -Yes. -JEFFORDS: Jake! 399 00:13:19,587 --> 00:13:21,756 Oh, Terry, you ripped yourself free. 400 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,676 Yeah, maybe you should try cuffing me to a stronger metal next time. 401 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,888 Yeah, I don't know the relative strength of metals. 402 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,015 What's going on? Why does Terry look like an Oscar? 403 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,683 Doesn't he? He has the bracelet. 404 00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:32,102 We grabbed Mr. Hootsworth 405 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,645 from Cheddar and swapped it for a fake. 406 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,149 Wow, Terry, my betrayals were all in good fun, 407 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,317 but this really hurts. 408 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,278 Cheddar, bring me Mr. Hootsworth. 409 00:13:41,281 --> 00:13:42,323 It's an updated model. 410 00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:45,578 The bow tie is Turkish blue instead of Egyptian blue. 411 00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:47,037 How could you not have noticed this? 412 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:48,371 PERALTA: Because he's a dog. 413 00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:52,586 And at the end of the day a dog is no match for Jake Peralta. 414 00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:55,214 Well yours is a fake, too. Turkish blue bow tie. 415 00:13:55,298 --> 00:13:57,674 Oh! Come on! The one time I say out loud I'm smarter than a dog? 416 00:13:57,758 --> 00:13:59,135 HOLT: If I have a fake and you have a fake, 417 00:13:59,219 --> 00:14:00,803 who took the real bracelet? 418 00:14:00,887 --> 00:14:02,472 I did. Kevin? 419 00:14:02,556 --> 00:14:04,058 I swapped out Mr. Hootsworth for a fake 420 00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,684 while you were arguing with Peralta. 421 00:14:05,768 --> 00:14:07,686 How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero! 422 00:14:07,770 --> 00:14:09,523 It's one bund to none, son! 423 00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:11,858 You betrayed me? But why? 424 00:14:11,942 --> 00:14:13,694 I can't have more of these trophies in our home. 425 00:14:13,778 --> 00:14:15,321 The cummerbund was already in the living room. 426 00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:17,866 What's next, a rusty medical bracelet suspended above our bed? 427 00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:19,785 Yes! Now hand it over. 428 00:14:19,869 --> 00:14:21,161 I don't have it. I gave it to Amy. 429 00:14:21,245 --> 00:14:22,747 -[GASPS] -HOLT: Santiago. 430 00:14:22,831 --> 00:14:24,707 You betrayed me as well? You betrayed me first. 431 00:14:24,791 --> 00:14:26,376 You were working with Rosa this whole time. 432 00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:29,171 That wasn't real. I was always gonna stab her in the back. 433 00:14:29,255 --> 00:14:31,925 You were? What kind of person treats another human being like that? 434 00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:33,218 You tricked me, Rosa! 435 00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:35,095 And then you shipped me to New Jersey! 436 00:14:35,179 --> 00:14:36,179 First of all, grow up. 437 00:14:36,263 --> 00:14:37,598 Second of all, how'd you get back here so fast? 438 00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:38,683 If you get a box wet enough, 439 00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:40,101 it's very easy to bust out of it. 440 00:14:40,185 --> 00:14:41,562 No one ask any follow-ups! 441 00:14:41,646 --> 00:14:43,063 I knew I couldn't trust you, Rosa. 442 00:14:43,147 --> 00:14:45,357 That's why I was going to double-cross you with Bill. 443 00:14:45,441 --> 00:14:47,360 That's right, he didn't really die. 444 00:14:47,444 --> 00:14:49,195 Hey, guys, you really thought I'd miss this year's heist? 445 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,990 No way, I'm part of the squad. 446 00:14:51,074 --> 00:14:52,074 No. Not true. 447 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,784 Okay, this is officially getting too hard to track. 448 00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:55,035 Who has the bracelet now? 449 00:14:55,119 --> 00:14:56,162 Santiago. 450 00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,956 Yeah. And none of you are getting it! 451 00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,207 We'll see about that. 452 00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:00,668 -[TASER CRACKLING] -[GROANING] 453 00:15:00,752 --> 00:15:01,752 What the hell? 454 00:15:01,836 --> 00:15:04,088 Remember that very fancy Swiss pen I got you for Christmas, 455 00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:06,133 the one that you keep in your pocket at all times? 456 00:15:06,217 --> 00:15:07,676 It's a Taser, bro. 457 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,802 -[TASER CRACKLING] -[SANTIAGO GROANING] 458 00:15:08,886 --> 00:15:11,514 I'll take that. Amy, do not make me Tase you again. 459 00:15:11,598 --> 00:15:13,725 No, no, don't! I'm pregnant! 460 00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:15,269 -What? -SANTIAGO: I just found out. 461 00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:17,187 It's a girl. Oh, my God! 462 00:15:17,271 --> 00:15:18,439 Oh, my God, it's happening! 463 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:20,734 Quick, someone get a reaction video of me becoming an uncle. 464 00:15:20,818 --> 00:15:23,028 Uh, she's making it up. The pregnancy scam was my idea. 465 00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:24,864 No. No, no, Amy. 466 00:15:24,948 --> 00:15:27,033 Wait, is that true? Did you just lie to me about our baby? 467 00:15:27,117 --> 00:15:28,619 Yeah, did you lie to us about our baby? 468 00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:30,287 You Tased me! You Tased me first! 469 00:15:30,371 --> 00:15:33,082 Enough! Terry's had enough of this. 470 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,501 This was supposed to be just a fun game, 471 00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:37,504 but it's turned you all into terrible people. 472 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:40,007 Betraying your husband, putting your friend in the mail. 473 00:15:40,091 --> 00:15:42,677 Jake and Amy, did you guys buy each other any gifts 474 00:15:42,761 --> 00:15:44,387 this year that weren't Tasers? 475 00:15:44,471 --> 00:15:45,513 No. No. 476 00:15:45,597 --> 00:15:47,767 You all pretended that this was all about 477 00:15:47,851 --> 00:15:51,146 helping me with my test. But none of you cared one bit! 478 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,856 You know what? 479 00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:54,191 You all suck! 480 00:15:54,275 --> 00:15:57,154 -[DEVICE BEEPING] -Oh no, my voice command. Terry, look out! 481 00:15:57,612 --> 00:15:58,613 [JEFFORDS GRUNTS] 482 00:15:59,448 --> 00:16:01,033 Okay. I know that was bad, 483 00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:04,217 but let's not jump to any conclusions about whose fault it was. 484 00:16:05,789 --> 00:16:08,333 BAND: ♪ Jacob Peralta, Jacob Peralta ♪ 485 00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:10,711 ♪ This was all his clever plan ♪ 486 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:11,796 ♪ Jacob Peralta, Jacob Peralta ♪ 487 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,507 [LOUDLY] Wow, what a fun improvised song. 488 00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:15,991 ♪ This was all his clever plan ♪ 489 00:16:16,802 --> 00:16:18,845 His eyes aren't focusing 490 00:16:18,929 --> 00:16:21,933 and he hasn't referred to himself in the third person in minutes. 491 00:16:22,017 --> 00:16:23,017 He's clearly concussed. 492 00:16:23,101 --> 00:16:24,311 Guys, this is bad. 493 00:16:24,395 --> 00:16:26,063 The lieutenant's exam is in 30 minutes. 494 00:16:26,147 --> 00:16:28,315 Okay, look, let's just get him to One Police Plaza 495 00:16:28,399 --> 00:16:29,734 and hopefully he'll wake up on the way. 496 00:16:29,818 --> 00:16:31,818 Charles, help me pick him up. Copy that. 497 00:16:32,112 --> 00:16:33,531 [GRUNTS] He's too heavy. We can't do this. 498 00:16:33,615 --> 00:16:35,783 God! How does he lift weights and also lift his arms? 499 00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:37,368 This is impossible. We'll never get him there. 500 00:16:37,452 --> 00:16:38,787 BILL: So you guys need help moving a body? 501 00:16:38,871 --> 00:16:40,372 Thank God old Bill's part of the squad. 502 00:16:40,456 --> 00:16:43,960 I mean, assuming I am part of the squad. 503 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:46,963 ALL: Yes, sure. Totally. 504 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,050 Oh, yes, finally. I have somewhere to live. 505 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,301 -What? -BILL: Meet me in the alley 506 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,221 next to my shopping cart. It's the one with all the cans. 507 00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:54,889 Seems like his plan is just to put Terry in the shopping cart. 508 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,123 Correct. We'll take it. 509 00:17:03,275 --> 00:17:04,401 Room 410 is this way! 510 00:17:04,485 --> 00:17:06,571 Okay, we got him here with one minute to spare. 511 00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,114 Yes! I knew we could make it. All right, Sarge. 512 00:17:08,198 --> 00:17:09,615 You ready to go in there and ace this thing? 513 00:17:09,699 --> 00:17:11,994 Yeah, I can't believe it, I'm gonna be a pilot! 514 00:17:12,078 --> 00:17:13,078 Okay, well, that's not great. 515 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:14,621 There's no way he can take the test in that condition. 516 00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:15,707 PERALTA: You're right. Amy, 517 00:17:15,791 --> 00:17:17,125 you're going to have to crawl inside his shirt and operate 518 00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:19,043 his arms for him. It's a Ratatouille situation. 519 00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:21,046 -On it. -HOLT: No. It's over. 520 00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,090 We have to go in there and tell them that he won't be making it. 521 00:17:23,174 --> 00:17:24,258 PERALTA: [SIGHS] So that's it then. 522 00:17:24,342 --> 00:17:25,469 Rosa, you should probably go in first 523 00:17:25,553 --> 00:17:26,720 since this is mostly your fault. 524 00:17:26,804 --> 00:17:28,804 Dude. All right, fine, I'll do it, jeez. 525 00:17:31,059 --> 00:17:34,605 Wait. Where is everyone? Where are all the desks? 526 00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:37,483 What is happening? What's happening is… 527 00:17:39,528 --> 00:17:41,070 You all suck! 528 00:17:41,154 --> 00:17:42,155 [BAND PLAYING INSTRUMENTS] 529 00:17:42,239 --> 00:17:44,533 BAND: ♪ You all are losers, you all are losers ♪ 530 00:17:44,617 --> 00:17:46,369 ♪ And Terry Jeffords is the best ♪ 531 00:17:46,786 --> 00:17:49,456 ♪ You are all losers, you are all losers ♪ 532 00:17:49,957 --> 00:17:52,000 ♪ Terry Jeffords is the best ♪ 533 00:17:52,084 --> 00:17:53,837 Son of a bitch stole my song. 534 00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:58,759 -Wait, Terry has the bracelet? -PERALTA: That's right. 535 00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:01,220 Me and my teammate Terry won. 536 00:18:01,304 --> 00:18:03,306 We fooled you all. 537 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,308 You didn't do [BLEEP] Okay, well, 538 00:18:05,392 --> 00:18:07,770 neither did Jordan's teammates, but they still got rings. 539 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,730 All right, fine. Just tell us how you did it. 540 00:18:09,814 --> 00:18:11,942 Well, first, for my plan to work, it had to happen 541 00:18:12,026 --> 00:18:14,194 on a day when I could control everything. 542 00:18:14,278 --> 00:18:15,570 I couldn't let it be Halloween. 543 00:18:15,654 --> 00:18:17,448 You faked the gas explosion! 544 00:18:17,532 --> 00:18:19,575 Yeah, stupid actors almost blew it. 545 00:18:19,659 --> 00:18:21,078 What was with that moaning, Trent? 546 00:18:21,162 --> 00:18:23,372 I thought you studied at the Lee Strasberg Institute! 547 00:18:23,456 --> 00:18:25,123 It doesn't mean anything. They just take your money. 548 00:18:25,207 --> 00:18:26,459 Oh, that is a huge relief. 549 00:18:26,543 --> 00:18:29,087 I felt so bad about poking that guy's wound to make sure it was real. 550 00:18:29,171 --> 00:18:30,464 You should still feel bad about that. 551 00:18:30,548 --> 00:18:31,924 No, it was all fake. I'm totally absolved. 552 00:18:32,008 --> 00:18:33,175 Continue with your story, Sarge. 553 00:18:33,259 --> 00:18:34,552 I knew you'd suggest a heist 554 00:18:34,636 --> 00:18:36,513 as a distraction from my lieutenant exam, 555 00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:38,431 then all I had to do was sit back 556 00:18:38,515 --> 00:18:41,143 and watch as everyone took things way too far. 557 00:18:41,227 --> 00:18:42,812 But how'd you know we'd get so out of hand? 558 00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:46,483 I spent the last six months sowing the seeds of conflict. 559 00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,819 Man, I am so sick of Jake saying he is the only 560 00:18:48,903 --> 00:18:50,363 two-time Halloween heist winner. 561 00:18:50,447 --> 00:18:52,991 BOTH: I'm the only two-time Halloween heist winner. 562 00:18:53,325 --> 00:18:56,078 I can't believe everyone says you're not helpful during the Halloween heist. 563 00:18:56,162 --> 00:18:58,999 Just because they all think your fingers are too big. 564 00:18:59,917 --> 00:19:01,043 We'll show them. 565 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:03,160 Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. 566 00:19:03,505 --> 00:19:05,882 Boy, that's hung in a real prominent place, isn't it? 567 00:19:05,966 --> 00:19:06,967 Not for long. 568 00:19:07,217 --> 00:19:08,218 I was manipulated? 569 00:19:08,302 --> 00:19:10,053 -Sorry, Kevin. -HOLT: Don't apologize to him, Terry. 570 00:19:10,137 --> 00:19:12,348 It's his first heist. He needs to learn. Keep going. 571 00:19:12,432 --> 00:19:14,893 JEFFORDS: Well, after I got everyone acting like maniacs, 572 00:19:14,977 --> 00:19:18,731 all I had to do was make you feel bad by "knocking myself out." 573 00:19:18,815 --> 00:19:19,899 The banner. 574 00:19:19,983 --> 00:19:21,651 But how did you learn my voice command? 575 00:19:21,735 --> 00:19:22,736 JEFFORDS: I didn't have to. 576 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,738 I sold you the damn thing! 577 00:19:24,822 --> 00:19:25,822 No. 578 00:19:25,906 --> 00:19:28,534 I want it to unfurl when I say, "You all suck." 579 00:19:28,618 --> 00:19:29,619 TERRY [THROUGH FEMALE VOICE CHANGER]: Absolutely. 580 00:19:29,703 --> 00:19:30,703 Pleasure doing business with you. 581 00:19:30,787 --> 00:19:32,331 The pleasure was all mine. 582 00:19:33,082 --> 00:19:34,250 [SIGHS IN RELIEF] 583 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:35,584 That's gonna work. 584 00:19:35,919 --> 00:19:37,921 I spent $1,800 on that thing! 585 00:19:38,005 --> 00:19:39,756 You did? Amy, stop interrupting. 586 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,925 Terry's doing his big speech. 587 00:19:41,009 --> 00:19:44,303 Anyway, once my fake concussion was on display, 588 00:19:44,387 --> 00:19:46,222 I created the perfect distraction 589 00:19:46,306 --> 00:19:48,475 for my partner to do his job. 590 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,314 Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch. 591 00:19:53,398 --> 00:19:55,150 I've been training Cheddar for months. 592 00:19:55,234 --> 00:19:57,694 Wow, what a fun improvised song. 593 00:19:57,778 --> 00:19:58,904 JEFFORDS: When I swapped the Hootsworths, 594 00:19:58,988 --> 00:20:00,907 I put a magnetic collar on him! 595 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,825 From there, Cheddar followed us 596 00:20:02,909 --> 00:20:05,621 all the way to One Police Plaza, 597 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:09,005 where he hand-delivered the bracelet to me right outside this room. 598 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,002 But, wait, what about the lieutenant's exam? 599 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,504 Aren't you supposed to be taking it right now? 600 00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:14,423 Hell no, I took that thing weeks ago. 601 00:20:14,507 --> 00:20:16,425 And I passed! I'm already a lieutenant! 602 00:20:16,509 --> 00:20:17,928 You are? That's incredible! 603 00:20:18,012 --> 00:20:19,638 Lieutenant Jeffords! This is amazing. 604 00:20:19,722 --> 00:20:21,181 I'm so proud of you, Terry. 605 00:20:21,265 --> 00:20:22,307 [SNIFFLING] 606 00:20:22,391 --> 00:20:23,768 All right. You've overstepped now, Bill. 607 00:20:23,852 --> 00:20:25,602 Yeah, it's weird you're here, Bill. 608 00:20:26,146 --> 00:20:29,316 To Terry Jeffords, the ultimate human being slash genius. 609 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,193 Nice work, Lieutenant. 610 00:20:31,277 --> 00:20:33,571 ALL: Yeah! Thanks, squad! 611 00:20:33,655 --> 00:20:35,240 Also the next heist will be at Halloween, 612 00:20:35,324 --> 00:20:36,826 so you'll only be champion for six months. 613 00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:37,994 This is half a win at best. 614 00:20:38,078 --> 00:20:39,120 PERALTA: Sounds about right, yeah. 615 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,254 Yeah. Pretty garbage. 616 00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:42,416 Hey, Scully, so you and Earl made up? 617 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,084 Yup. Hitchcock helped us realize 618 00:20:44,168 --> 00:20:45,878 we shouldn't fight just because we're so different. 619 00:20:45,962 --> 00:20:47,756 Yeah. To our differences! 620 00:20:50,217 --> 00:20:51,260 BOTH: Oh, dang it! 621 00:20:51,344 --> 00:20:53,137 -[BOTH FART] -BOTH: Ooh! 622 00:20:53,221 --> 00:20:54,471 BOTH: Double dang it. 623 00:20:54,555 --> 00:20:55,974 What? Oh, my God. 624 00:20:56,058 --> 00:20:58,601 Terry, what you did today was awesome 625 00:20:58,685 --> 00:20:59,937 and I just wanted to say 626 00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:01,313 I'm sorry if I took things too far. 627 00:21:01,397 --> 00:21:04,066 Are you kidding me? I was just guilting you as a tactic. 628 00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:05,444 I love how crazy the heist gets. 629 00:21:05,528 --> 00:21:07,612 Okay, good, because what I really wanted to say is, 630 00:21:07,696 --> 00:21:09,782 next heist I'm gonna drown you in your own blood. 631 00:21:09,866 --> 00:21:11,743 Oh, yeah? Well, then I'm gonna rip your arms off 632 00:21:11,827 --> 00:21:12,827 and beat you to death with 'em. 633 00:21:12,911 --> 00:21:14,538 Ooh! I'm going to slice your Achilles tendons, 634 00:21:14,622 --> 00:21:15,622 peel off your fingernails, 635 00:21:15,706 --> 00:21:16,999 and stick knitting needles in your eyes. 636 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,083 Oh, damn. Oh, damn. 637 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,671 Raymond, you were right. These heists are fun.