1 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,873 I'm here! I'm here, I'm here. 2 00:00:08,415 --> 00:00:10,041 [EXHALES] You can start the meeting now. 3 00:00:10,125 --> 00:00:12,042 The meeting is over. You're late. You missed roll call 4 00:00:12,126 --> 00:00:14,545 and the tutorial on using the new copiers. 5 00:00:14,629 --> 00:00:16,587 Six years, and no matter how hard I try, 6 00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:18,548 I still can't get you to understand the importance of being punctual. 7 00:00:18,632 --> 00:00:20,174 Maybe you should just give up and accept me for who I am? 8 00:00:20,258 --> 00:00:22,509 No, I will break you. Right now. 9 00:00:22,593 --> 00:00:24,136 Oh. While you were out being tardy, 10 00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,512 I was hard at work devising a special punishment. 11 00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:29,264 I've crafted an intricate, personal high-five 12 00:00:29,348 --> 00:00:31,433 -with everyone in this office except you. -PERALTA: What? 13 00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:34,768 But you hate high fives. Yes, every minute of it was hell. 14 00:00:34,852 --> 00:00:37,052 But it'll be worse for you. Squad, dismissed. 15 00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:38,772 Goodbye, Diaz. 16 00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:41,858 Salute into a fanny waggle? 17 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:42,983 Goodbye, Boyle. 18 00:00:43,067 --> 00:00:44,151 [GROANS] The snake charmer! 19 00:00:44,235 --> 00:00:45,435 HOLT: Goodbye, Jeffords. 20 00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,262 -That's a butt bump. -HOLT: Goodbye, Santiago. 21 00:00:49,572 --> 00:00:53,032 PERALTA: Double fist bump reverse explosion into a Pete Townshend strum. 22 00:00:53,116 --> 00:00:54,242 [SIGHS] 23 00:00:54,326 --> 00:00:56,827 That was terrible, but it's over now, and I made it through. 24 00:00:56,911 --> 00:00:58,036 Goodbye, Leonard from Xerox. 25 00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,956 What? No, no, no. 26 00:01:00,497 --> 00:01:01,622 The copy guy? 27 00:01:01,706 --> 00:01:03,750 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 28 00:01:21,764 --> 00:01:24,599 So nice of you to stop by, Kevin. Enjoy your day. I hope it's productive. 29 00:01:24,683 --> 00:01:27,533 Thank you, Raymond. I hope your day is productive as well. 30 00:01:28,102 --> 00:01:30,520 PDA in the office? My, my. Couldn't help myself. 31 00:01:30,604 --> 00:01:34,356 Mmm. Oh, may I please use the precinct facilities before I head to work? 32 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,566 Yes. Thank you for asking for permission. 33 00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:37,109 Thank you for granting it. 34 00:01:39,736 --> 00:01:40,862 [SIGHS] 35 00:01:41,612 --> 00:01:43,573 Whoomp. There it is. 36 00:01:43,906 --> 00:01:45,823 Got to say, I could have used a little more oomph on the whoomp. 37 00:01:45,907 --> 00:01:47,074 That's the oomphiest whoomp you'll get. 38 00:01:47,158 --> 00:01:48,451 So, what's going on? Why'd you want to meet in private? 39 00:01:48,535 --> 00:01:49,534 I need your help with a case. 40 00:01:49,618 --> 00:01:52,120 Three antique coins were stolen from my Classics Department at Columbia. 41 00:01:52,204 --> 00:01:53,996 So, why not ask Captain Holt for help on the case? 42 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,749 Wait, are you guys getting a divorce? I can handle it. 43 00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,000 [VOICE BREAKING] This doesn't bring up any weird issues for me. 44 00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:01,127 No, it's nothing like that. Raymond's a brilliant detective. 45 00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:02,629 It's just when a case involves me, 46 00:02:02,713 --> 00:02:04,546 he can get a little overemotional. 47 00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:07,257 You remember the safe house. Oh, yeah, he went crazy. 48 00:02:07,341 --> 00:02:09,133 But I also remember you and me becoming best friends 49 00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:10,760 and watching every Nic Cage movie ever made. 50 00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:13,136 Can you still quote them all? No, I purged myself of that nonsense. 51 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,429 I bet it's still in there. It's not. 52 00:02:14,513 --> 00:02:16,263 We'll see. There's a chance it's in there. We won't. Chance of zero. 53 00:02:16,347 --> 00:02:17,973 I'd put money that maybe it's there. 54 00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:19,058 You're losing your money. Okay. 55 00:02:19,142 --> 00:02:20,850 So will you help me? I don't know. 56 00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:22,435 I want to, but keeping a secret from Holt? 57 00:02:22,519 --> 00:02:23,520 That's a lot of pressure. Hmm. 58 00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:27,147 Am I remembering correctly? Don't you eat pressure for breakfast? 59 00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,982 [GASPS] Nic Cage in The Rock. 60 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,360 -We are best friends. I am so in. -[DOOR OPENS] 61 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,694 Oh, no, that's Raymond. That's how he opens a door. 62 00:02:34,778 --> 00:02:35,821 HOLT: Kevin, are you still in here? 63 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,781 KEVIN: Uh, yes, Raymond, I'm in the stall. 64 00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:41,492 Uh, some tickets were just released for Mahler's Fourth Symphony this weekend. 65 00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:42,827 Great. That sounds great. Let's do it. 66 00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:45,078 HOLT: Fantastic. Now, which section do you prefer? 67 00:02:45,162 --> 00:02:49,248 The first tier, the second tier, the third tier… 68 00:02:49,332 --> 00:02:50,332 The first tier. 69 00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:52,500 Now, which section of the first tier? 70 00:02:52,584 --> 00:02:55,628 Right, left, right-center, 71 00:02:55,712 --> 00:02:57,838 center… Just any section is fine. 72 00:02:57,922 --> 00:03:00,840 [CHUCKLES] Any section. Well, someone had pepper on their eggs this morning. 73 00:03:00,924 --> 00:03:02,842 -I'll buy the tickets. -[KEVIN SIGHS] 74 00:03:02,926 --> 00:03:04,677 [CHUCKLES] Any section. 75 00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:06,970 Guys, horrible news. 76 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,972 The fridge broke this morning. Everything's warm. 77 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,138 Doesn't seem like that big a deal. 78 00:03:10,222 --> 00:03:12,015 Your yogurt's spoiled. Who did this? 79 00:03:12,099 --> 00:03:15,810 Okay, everyone, calm down. I will put a request in for a new fridge. 80 00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:16,978 DIAZ: Good luck getting that approved. 81 00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:19,396 Commissioner Kelly's already slashed our budget within an inch of its life. 82 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,273 Yeah, the toilet paper's only one ply now. 83 00:03:21,357 --> 00:03:23,148 My butt hurts all the time. The AC is broken. 84 00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:24,233 My butt hurts all the time. 85 00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:25,526 Scully's butt hurts all the time. 86 00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:26,610 All right, guys, we get it. 87 00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:28,319 BOYLE: It's just that lunch is the one part of the day 88 00:03:28,403 --> 00:03:29,988 Commissioner Kelly hadn't ruined. 89 00:03:30,072 --> 00:03:32,281 People are pissed. Morale's really taken a hit. 90 00:03:32,365 --> 00:03:34,157 Okay, I got this. 91 00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:37,660 Hey, squad. Lunch is on me today. Taking everyone out for pizza. 92 00:03:37,744 --> 00:03:39,120 [ALL CHEERING] 93 00:03:39,245 --> 00:03:40,872 And that's how you improve morale. 94 00:03:40,956 --> 00:03:44,083 Okay. You're not the only sergeant around here. Let me help. 95 00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,917 This side of the room, lunch is on me, 96 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,420 and we're getting something better than pizza. 97 00:03:49,504 --> 00:03:50,503 Sushi! 98 00:03:50,587 --> 00:03:51,880 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 99 00:03:52,214 --> 00:03:53,548 Are you trying to outdo me? 100 00:03:53,632 --> 00:03:57,551 No, no, no. Just trying to raise morale. 101 00:03:58,135 --> 00:04:02,471 Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Morale, morale, morale. Okay. 102 00:04:02,555 --> 00:04:04,764 PERALTA: Wow! So, this is your classroom. 103 00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:06,016 What's today's lecture about? 104 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,851 I know you don't care about that. Just ask me what you want to ask me. 105 00:04:08,935 --> 00:04:10,102 Can I play with your laser pointer? 106 00:04:10,186 --> 00:04:12,770 You know, the laser pointer is a bit of a misnomer. 107 00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:15,399 It is simply a laser. The pointer is you. 108 00:04:16,316 --> 00:04:17,608 That was awesome. Take it for a spin. 109 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:18,692 Don't mind if I do. 110 00:04:18,776 --> 00:04:22,862 Good afternoon, class. Allow me to make my first… Point. 111 00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:25,156 Very impressive. Thank you very much, Kevin. 112 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,324 But I do have five additional points to make. 113 00:04:27,408 --> 00:04:30,367 Chair, chair, wall, chair, 114 00:04:30,451 --> 00:04:32,537 Captain Holt. Captain Holt? No. 115 00:04:32,912 --> 00:04:35,997 [CHUCKLES] Yes, that was a delicious lunch, Gary. 116 00:04:36,081 --> 00:04:39,458 And I agree, our group does seem happier than it was before. 117 00:04:39,542 --> 00:04:40,959 Oh. The pizza was that good? 118 00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:43,753 Pizza? Right, that's what I said we were getting 119 00:04:43,837 --> 00:04:46,255 before we decided to, uh, snazz it up. 120 00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:47,881 Oh. You guys snazzed? 121 00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:51,009 Yeah, we snazzed all the way to La Petite Creperie. 122 00:04:51,093 --> 00:04:52,426 I thought we couldn't say "snazz." 123 00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:54,929 Oh, no, I was thinking of [BLEEP]. 124 00:04:55,013 --> 00:04:56,180 We can't say [BLEEP]. Carry on. 125 00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:57,889 SANTIAGO: Tell 'em how good it was, Rosa. 126 00:04:57,973 --> 00:05:00,141 Tell 'em how high our morale is. 127 00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:01,725 High. Oh, stop gushing, girl. 128 00:05:01,809 --> 00:05:03,268 JEFFORDS: I think it's so interesting 129 00:05:03,352 --> 00:05:05,978 you guys didn't stick to your original plan, 130 00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:07,521 because neither did we. 131 00:05:07,605 --> 00:05:08,606 What? Why? 132 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:11,399 You don't think we knew you were gonna snazz? [CHUCKLING] 133 00:05:11,483 --> 00:05:13,777 We saw your snazz coming a mile away. 134 00:05:13,861 --> 00:05:18,113 That's why I took my team out for some big, juicy steaks, and… 135 00:05:18,197 --> 00:05:19,614 ALL: ♪ Mashed potatoes ♪ 136 00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:22,992 ♪ And some spinach, and some key lime pie ♪ 137 00:05:23,076 --> 00:05:24,117 Thank you, Heather. 138 00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:25,577 Well, that doesn't sound better than crepes. 139 00:05:25,661 --> 00:05:28,746 It is. Terry wins. We know. We were at both lunches. 140 00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:31,082 How? They were simultaneous and two miles apart. 141 00:05:31,166 --> 00:05:32,791 It was free food. Life finds a way. 142 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,502 Okay, but you can't win because it wasn't a competition. 143 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,711 So, let's make it a competition. Same groups tomorrow? 144 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,797 Okay. But let's agree at the end of this 145 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,173 that we'll still be friends. No deal. 146 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,091 Good! 'Cause I didn't mean it, anyway. 147 00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:45,802 Hello, sir. How'd you find us out? Mahler's Fourth Symphony. 148 00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:47,719 He'd never sit in just any section. 149 00:05:47,803 --> 00:05:49,221 I might. I'm flexible. 150 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:53,307 Oh, really? You'd sit center-left? In timpani alley? 151 00:05:53,391 --> 00:05:55,809 I'll purchase those tickets right away. 152 00:06:01,022 --> 00:06:02,439 No, don't. Fine. 153 00:06:02,523 --> 00:06:04,482 Jake is helping me with a burglary here at the university, 154 00:06:04,566 --> 00:06:06,734 and I asked him not to tell you. 155 00:06:06,818 --> 00:06:08,902 Is this about St. Augustine? Yes. 156 00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:10,153 What's going on? He's embarrassed of me. 157 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,155 Last Christmas, the Classics Department threw a holiday party. 158 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:17,117 I had one drink too many and utterly humiliated myself. 159 00:06:17,201 --> 00:06:18,827 And that was the point St. Augustine was making 160 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,286 in Consolation of Philosophy. 161 00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:23,288 Yeah, sounds super humiliating, saying something smart. 162 00:06:23,372 --> 00:06:25,874 Smart? I confused St. Augustine with Boethius. 163 00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:28,459 I might as well have stepped on a rake and bonked myself on the forehead. 164 00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:30,128 The problem wasn't what you said. 165 00:06:30,212 --> 00:06:31,878 It was that Dean Allister pointed out your mistake, 166 00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,046 and you lost your damned mind. 167 00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:35,923 I misremembered it because I'm reading both simultaneously. 168 00:06:36,007 --> 00:06:37,758 One book is too few for me. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 169 00:06:37,842 --> 00:06:39,692 -Where is everyone going? -[CLATTERING] 170 00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:41,678 It was quite the kerfuffle. 171 00:06:41,762 --> 00:06:44,263 The problem is, is that I get flustered and defensive 172 00:06:44,347 --> 00:06:46,765 because I know how they all see me. 173 00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:50,018 As Kevin's working-class bimbo. 174 00:06:50,102 --> 00:06:51,436 [CHUCKLES] I can't imagine that's what they think. 175 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,603 It is. Really? 176 00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:55,272 Obviously I know that they're wrong, but they put you in your own head, 177 00:06:55,356 --> 00:06:56,440 and you're not yourself around them. 178 00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:58,399 I'm sorry, I was just trying to protect you. 179 00:06:58,483 --> 00:07:00,735 Yes, of course. Thank you for saving me from myself. 180 00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:02,193 Now, if you'll excuse me, 181 00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:05,030 I'll just go sit by the pool and read some fiction, 182 00:07:05,114 --> 00:07:06,948 like the bimbo that I am. 183 00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:11,409 There's a pool here? 184 00:07:14,329 --> 00:07:15,913 Sir, wait. Oh! 185 00:07:16,205 --> 00:07:18,206 Wasn't expecting to catch up to you so fast. 186 00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:19,291 I don't know what to say now. 187 00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:21,709 I thought I was gonna have more running time to formulate it. Oh! I know. 188 00:07:21,793 --> 00:07:23,377 I'm sorry that we kept the case a secret from you. 189 00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:24,669 Oh, I understand why you did. 190 00:07:24,753 --> 00:07:28,298 The truth is, ever since I met Kevin, I've felt insecure in his world. 191 00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:31,425 I can't compete with these highly-educated academics. 192 00:07:31,509 --> 00:07:35,762 I worry every day that I'll make one St. Augustine slip too many, 193 00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,888 and he'll realize… 194 00:07:38,139 --> 00:07:39,723 I'm beneath him. This is insane. 195 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,433 You're the smartest person I know. 196 00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:44,101 I'll explain it to you. Among Kevin's peers, 197 00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:45,686 I'm the Jake. No, no, no. 198 00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,395 I refuse to live in a world where you're the Jake, 199 00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:49,147 because if you're the Jake, what does that make me? 200 00:07:49,231 --> 00:07:50,607 The Charles? The Hitchcock. 201 00:07:50,691 --> 00:07:53,108 The Hitchcock? Oh, my God. 202 00:07:53,192 --> 00:07:55,401 You dropped down so many more levels than I was expecting. 203 00:07:55,485 --> 00:07:57,445 Okay, you know what? Screw this. 204 00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:59,654 You are so smart, and we're gonna prove it to those professors. 205 00:07:59,738 --> 00:08:01,031 You're gonna work this case, 206 00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:02,815 and you're gonna find those coins. 207 00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,910 Well, I suppose it would be nice to show them 208 00:08:05,994 --> 00:08:08,079 I'm more than just a hot, dumb piece of ass. 209 00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:09,370 Yes. That's the spirit. 210 00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:11,081 Now get that hot ass moving, 211 00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:12,415 'cause we've got a crime to solve. 212 00:08:12,499 --> 00:08:13,749 Peralta, please, have some decorum. 213 00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:15,459 What? I was just using your words. 214 00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:17,252 Look, you teach people the way you want to be treated. 215 00:08:17,336 --> 00:08:18,712 That's what Dr. Phil says. 216 00:08:19,129 --> 00:08:21,881 Okay, lunchtime starts in 10 minutes. 217 00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:24,925 Whichever team wins gets recorded on the Whiteboard of Victory. 218 00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,593 The winner will be decided by our judges, Hitchcock and Scully. 219 00:08:27,677 --> 00:08:29,845 Oh, my God, are we high status, Hitchcock? 220 00:08:29,929 --> 00:08:31,513 HITCHCOCK: I think so. What a world. 221 00:08:31,597 --> 00:08:34,390 BOYLE: Oh, well, good luck. I'm sure you know all the best places to eat 222 00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:37,893 since you've reached Elite status on Yelp. Oh, wait, that was me. 223 00:08:37,977 --> 00:08:40,269 Oh, because Yelp reviewers are sane people with great taste? 224 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,438 BOYLE: Oh, sorry, couldn't hear you over GourmetGlen12 saying 225 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,898 that my review of the duck skin 226 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,233 at the Hearth and Feather was helpful. 227 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,360 Come on, Team Jeffords. It's chow time. 228 00:08:49,444 --> 00:08:50,570 [BOYLE CHUCKLES] 229 00:08:50,820 --> 00:08:52,404 SANTIAGO: We have a cool thing to say, too. 230 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:55,240 Team Santiago, let's lunch-a-bunch! 231 00:08:55,324 --> 00:08:57,534 No, I don't say that. Come on, Rosa, please? 232 00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:59,868 [SOFTLY] Let's lunch-a-bunch. Ah! Rosa said it. 233 00:08:59,952 --> 00:09:01,495 Did you hear that? Did you hear it? 234 00:09:01,579 --> 00:09:02,703 [SIGHING] Ah. 235 00:09:02,787 --> 00:09:04,748 Dean Allister? Policeman Raymond. 236 00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,707 Good to see you. [LAUGHS] 237 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,209 Read any interesting magazines lately? 238 00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:11,669 This again? I was waiting for Kevin, I had finished my book, 239 00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:13,087 and I happened to glance at 240 00:09:13,171 --> 00:09:15,755 an issue of The Economist that someone left lying about. 241 00:09:15,839 --> 00:09:17,757 All I remember is you becoming unhinged. 242 00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:20,968 The only reason I picked it up was to swat a fly. I'm not crazy. 243 00:09:21,052 --> 00:09:23,137 [YELLING] Why are there always flowers here? 244 00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:25,972 So, is policeman Raymond joining the case? 245 00:09:26,056 --> 00:09:27,557 Actually, he's leading it. 246 00:09:27,641 --> 00:09:30,142 Captain Holt is the finest investigator I've ever worked with. 247 00:09:30,226 --> 00:09:31,894 Sir, tell him our plan of action. 248 00:09:38,815 --> 00:09:40,441 Clues. Okay, you're freezing up. 249 00:09:40,525 --> 00:09:41,776 I'm just gonna take the wheel for now. 250 00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:43,318 There were no signs of forced entry, 251 00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:44,862 the only people with access to the archives 252 00:09:44,946 --> 00:09:48,865 were the professors in the department, and they all have alibis, which means… 253 00:09:50,116 --> 00:09:51,117 I don't know what you want me to say. 254 00:09:51,201 --> 00:09:52,909 Okay, that's my fault for throwing it to you again. 255 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,661 Which means we need to examine the crime scene. 256 00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:55,911 It is there that we will find 257 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:58,498 what Captain Holt has so eloquently described as… 258 00:10:00,582 --> 00:10:01,583 Clues? 259 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,293 [GROANS] Sir, you just said it. 260 00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,419 Cupcakes up, everyone. 261 00:10:05,503 --> 00:10:07,171 Heather, you already ate yours? 262 00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:08,964 The point is to eat it in their faces. 263 00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:10,674 [HORN HONKING] 264 00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,884 Honk, honk, bitches. What the hell? 265 00:10:13,968 --> 00:10:16,052 We rented a party limo, drove to Coney Island for hot dogs, 266 00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:17,888 and then did karaoke the entire time. 267 00:10:17,972 --> 00:10:20,014 I sang It Wasn't Me by Shaggy. Crushed it. 268 00:10:20,098 --> 00:10:21,682 But that's not even about lunch! It's… 269 00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:23,058 An experience. 270 00:10:23,308 --> 00:10:24,475 -Team Amy wins. -JEFFORDS: What? 271 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,644 How did you get there? You were just with us. 272 00:10:26,728 --> 00:10:28,395 Scully was with them. Free food. 273 00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:31,522 Great cupcake, Sarge. But Amy still wins. 274 00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:33,275 SANTIAGO: Eat snazz, losers. 275 00:10:34,609 --> 00:10:35,610 [TIRES SCREECHING] 276 00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:38,528 Okay, so there were no witnesses, no cameras, and no prints. 277 00:10:38,612 --> 00:10:40,237 In other words, we have nothing. 278 00:10:40,321 --> 00:10:42,031 That's what you get when you put a bimbo on the case. 279 00:10:42,115 --> 00:10:44,074 Okay, well, let's not give up all hope just yet. 280 00:10:44,158 --> 00:10:45,325 We do know some things. 281 00:10:45,409 --> 00:10:48,453 For example, the perp entered using a key, which means they probably work here. 282 00:10:48,537 --> 00:10:52,087 And they knew enough to skip past all these expensive-looking artifacts. 283 00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:53,748 They walked straight up to this shelf 284 00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:55,458 and grabbed the coin case from up there. 285 00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:56,959 HOLT: It's too high. You can't reach it. Exactly. 286 00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:59,502 So, now we know that the thief was taller than me. That's a good lead. 287 00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:01,504 Also, we know they were a little bit of a freak, 288 00:11:01,588 --> 00:11:03,130 since I am above average height 289 00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:04,548 according to the 1940 census. 290 00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:05,841 I didn't realize you had a thing about your height. 291 00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:06,926 I don't! 292 00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,259 [CHUCKLES] Because I'm above average. 293 00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,220 Why would I have a thing about my height when I'm above average? 294 00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:12,221 It doesn't make any sense. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 295 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:15,515 Anyways, we're looking for an insanely tall perp, a real Shaq type. 296 00:11:15,599 --> 00:11:18,184 Maybe the thief stood on something, like, 297 00:11:18,268 --> 00:11:20,061 one of these drawers. 298 00:11:21,562 --> 00:11:22,813 Turn off the light. 299 00:11:23,355 --> 00:11:25,523 Maybe something will show up under UV. 300 00:11:27,317 --> 00:11:29,068 Bingpot! A footprint. 301 00:11:29,152 --> 00:11:30,860 You did it, you brilliant bimbo. 302 00:11:30,944 --> 00:11:33,196 Oh, there you are. Why are you in the dark? 303 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,571 Were you not able to find the light switch? 304 00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,156 PERALTA: Ha-ha! Very funny. 305 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,366 But I'll actually have you know 306 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,200 Captain Holt just found a very promising lead. 307 00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:40,660 Oh, how fun. A lead. 308 00:11:40,744 --> 00:11:42,078 Meanwhile, we actually found the thief. 309 00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:43,203 You did? What? 310 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:44,913 Technically our janitor found him. 311 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,206 Come on in, Randy. Tell them how you did their jobs. 312 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:50,668 Well, um, I was emptying the trash in Professor Port's office. 313 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,045 I saw something shiny sticking out from underneath a notepad. 314 00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:55,672 It was one of the missing coins. 315 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,339 DEAN ALLISTER: Great police work. 316 00:11:57,423 --> 00:12:01,926 Perhaps you might want to hire Randy, or, Randy, you could hire them. 317 00:12:02,052 --> 00:12:04,387 It seems like you all have, basically, the same skill set. 318 00:12:04,471 --> 00:12:05,720 [DEAN ALLISTER LAUGHS] 319 00:12:05,804 --> 00:12:07,847 We're actually all staffed up in maintenance. 320 00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,599 We don't want your job, Randy. 321 00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:15,311 I know Dean Allister humiliated us, but we can still have our revenge. 322 00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:18,022 I watched a ton of horny '80s comedies when I was a kid, 323 00:12:18,106 --> 00:12:20,857 and they're filled with ways of getting back at mean deans. 324 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,150 So, we are gonna throw the wildest party 325 00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:25,111 this campus has ever seen. No. 326 00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:26,654 Okay, then we'll have a bikini car wash. 327 00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:28,154 No, no, save your schemes. 328 00:12:28,238 --> 00:12:30,282 I know exactly how to get back at the dean. 329 00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,324 By arresting him. For what? 330 00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:34,827 It seems pretty obvious that Port did it. No, no, that makes no sense. 331 00:12:34,911 --> 00:12:37,245 Why would someone steal something valuable and then leave it in their desk? 332 00:12:37,329 --> 00:12:39,664 I feel like this is a veiled shot at me for leaving the crown in my desk 333 00:12:39,748 --> 00:12:41,290 during the third Halloween Heist. It is. 334 00:12:41,374 --> 00:12:44,835 Oh. Allister planted the coin in Professor Port's desk. 335 00:12:44,919 --> 00:12:46,002 They're rivals. 336 00:12:46,086 --> 00:12:48,671 Hmm. Did you see the book Allister was holding back there? 337 00:12:48,755 --> 00:12:51,715 A biography of Macedonian general, Parmenion. 338 00:12:51,799 --> 00:12:52,841 He was taunting us. 339 00:12:52,925 --> 00:12:54,008 Again, I'm the Hitchcock here. 340 00:12:54,092 --> 00:12:55,634 You're gonna have to connect the dots for me. 341 00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:58,262 Parmenion was a close adviser to Alexander the Great. 342 00:12:58,346 --> 00:13:00,263 Alexander suspected that Parmenion 343 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,473 was trying to supplant him, so he executed him. 344 00:13:02,557 --> 00:13:04,266 He was getting rid of his rival. 345 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,892 Sir, you cracked it. 346 00:13:05,976 --> 00:13:08,185 You and your big hard brain. Hard? 347 00:13:08,269 --> 00:13:11,147 Yes! You have the biggest, hardest brain on Earth, and I want you to say it. 348 00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:13,606 Say "I am Raymond Holt, and my brain is rock-hard." 349 00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:14,941 A brain shouldn't be hard. 350 00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:17,943 If anything, I'll say, "I am Raymond Holt, and my brain is soft and wet." 351 00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:19,820 No, don't say that. It's gross and I hate it. 352 00:13:19,904 --> 00:13:21,254 Let's go do some cop stuff. 353 00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:25,158 Wait, why does Terry's team have four wins? 354 00:13:25,242 --> 00:13:27,993 He only won steaks, bowling, and the mobile escape room. 355 00:13:28,077 --> 00:13:30,953 You're forgetting about our breakfast at the Empire State Building. 356 00:13:31,037 --> 00:13:32,705 It was so cold up there. 357 00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:35,123 It sounds a lot better than our indoor skydiving lunch. 358 00:13:35,207 --> 00:13:37,334 Speaking of which, are we gonna get reimbursed for that? 359 00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:40,044 How dare you complain about the Funtastic FlyZone. 360 00:13:40,128 --> 00:13:41,920 That was funtastic fun for everyone. 361 00:13:42,004 --> 00:13:43,588 So, what are you guys planning for today? 362 00:13:43,672 --> 00:13:46,007 Oh, nothing much. We're just gonna keep it cazh. 363 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,091 Us too. Super cazh. 364 00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:50,385 Super duper cazh. 365 00:13:50,469 --> 00:13:54,847 We all know you're both planning something insanely complicated and annoying. 366 00:13:54,931 --> 00:13:57,557 [LAUGHS] Your teammates are turning against you, Terry. 367 00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:59,267 I'm on your team. Who cares? 368 00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:02,270 We're gonna win. Team Lunch-a-Bunch forever. 369 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,646 Sir, why are we still doing this? 370 00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:07,482 We've been following him for days, and he hasn't done anything suspicious. 371 00:14:07,566 --> 00:14:08,775 Let's just confront him. 372 00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:11,651 He only hid one of the stolen coins in Port's desk. 373 00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,779 He'll probably try to sell the others. I want to catch him in the act. 374 00:14:13,863 --> 00:14:15,463 [WHISPERING] Shh. Here he comes. 375 00:14:20,784 --> 00:14:21,993 These college kids. 376 00:14:22,077 --> 00:14:24,495 I used to wear long-sleeve T-shirts under my short-sleeve T-shirts. 377 00:14:24,579 --> 00:14:25,579 Wait a minute, I still could. 378 00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:26,789 [WHISPERING] Hang on. He's stopping. 379 00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:27,914 PERALTA: Oh, no, he forgot his phone. 380 00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:30,083 He's gonna turn around and see us. Come on. 381 00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,417 -Sorry, sorry. -STUDENT: Oh, hey, guys, what's up? 382 00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:34,086 You want to join our a cappella jam circle? 383 00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,796 Oh, no. Are you guys Harry Potter fans? 384 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,880 -I do not like where this is going. -[SNAPS FINGERS] Three, four… 385 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:41,050 ♪ Won't you come visit Hogwarts? ♪ 386 00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:46,179 ♪ I'll be alone, dancing in Gryffindor ♪ 387 00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:50,473 ♪ Harry is the best at the spells ♪ 388 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,518 ♪ And as for potions Hermione does well ♪ 389 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,645 This is actually pretty funny. You got to know Harry Potter. 390 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,147 Wait a minute. Where'd Allister go? 391 00:15:00,231 --> 00:15:03,400 He was standing right here. It's like he vanished without a trace. 392 00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:05,777 Wrong, Peralta. He vanished with a trace. 393 00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:08,070 Check it out. His footprint. Gotcha. 394 00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:09,530 [SOFTLY] I am Raymond Holt and my brain is rock-hard. 395 00:15:09,614 --> 00:15:10,614 I'm not going to say that. Smart. 396 00:15:10,698 --> 00:15:11,698 Saving it for a bigger moment 397 00:15:11,782 --> 00:15:13,241 in front of a bunch of people. Can't wait! 398 00:15:13,325 --> 00:15:18,036 Okay, squad, hope you ate lunch already, because it's lunchtime! 399 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,955 What's with the get-ups? Oh. Nothing much. 400 00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:23,249 We just turned the parking garage into an elaborate paintball arena. 401 00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:25,834 It's zombie-themed. We hired 60 actors. 402 00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:26,918 That sounds pretty expensive. 403 00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:28,336 Nah, New York actors are desperate. 404 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,170 For ten bucks, you can shoot 'em right in the face. 405 00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:32,005 Wow! That's amazing. 406 00:15:32,089 --> 00:15:34,841 I don't know how anybody could ever beat that, 407 00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:38,219 except maybe an in-office teppanyaki grill. 408 00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:39,302 Moshi moshi, losers! 409 00:15:39,386 --> 00:15:41,513 JEFFORDS: We got shrimp. We got lobster. 410 00:15:41,597 --> 00:15:43,681 Heather, I know you're allergic to shellfish. 411 00:15:43,765 --> 00:15:45,474 You're just gonna have to not eat. 412 00:15:45,558 --> 00:15:47,936 Where's Heather? Where is everybody? 413 00:15:48,519 --> 00:15:50,369 They're on the roof by Gina's statue. 414 00:15:50,729 --> 00:15:51,813 What the hell, guys? 415 00:15:51,897 --> 00:15:52,896 Oh, God, they found us. 416 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,690 Don't let them take me. Why are you hiding from us? 417 00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:57,275 This lunch competition has gotten out of hand. 418 00:15:57,359 --> 00:15:58,609 No one is having fun. 419 00:15:58,693 --> 00:16:00,069 I keep having panic dreams 420 00:16:00,153 --> 00:16:02,737 about Sergeant Santiago shooting down my lunch ideas. 421 00:16:02,821 --> 00:16:05,240 Historic walking tours don't win lunch, Gary. 422 00:16:05,324 --> 00:16:07,408 No one cares about winning lunch. 423 00:16:07,742 --> 00:16:09,410 Please, just leave us alone. 424 00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:10,743 [SIGHS] 425 00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,245 -Gary, wait. Look… -[GUN FIRES] 426 00:16:12,329 --> 00:16:13,789 -[GROANS] Ow! -JEFFORDS: Oh! 427 00:16:13,997 --> 00:16:16,540 Why did you do that? Oh, my God, it was an accident. 428 00:16:16,624 --> 00:16:17,916 This thing doesn't have a safety… 429 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,917 -[GROANS] Ow! -JEFFORDS: Ooh! 430 00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,128 Stop! Help! 431 00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:24,713 And a big round of applause for Janitor Randy 432 00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:26,882 -for recovering our precious coin. -[ALL APPLAUDING] 433 00:16:26,966 --> 00:16:28,841 Don't applaud for that man. 434 00:16:28,925 --> 00:16:30,759 -What's going on? -PERALTA: What's going on is, 435 00:16:30,843 --> 00:16:34,053 Captain Holt just solved this case. What's there left to solve? 436 00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:36,681 We found the coin in Professor Port's desk. He's the thief. 437 00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:38,932 Oh, you'd like everyone to believe that, wouldn't you, Dean Allister? 438 00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:41,726 Or should I say, General Parmenion? 439 00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:43,561 Raymond, are you causing a kerfuffle? 440 00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:45,771 Yes. Sometimes a moment calls for a kerfuffle. 441 00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:48,607 No. No moment calls for a kerfuffle. You know my feelings on this. 442 00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:52,234 Dean Allister framed Professor Port to get rid of a rival, 443 00:16:52,318 --> 00:16:54,903 just as Alexander got rid of Parmenion. 444 00:16:54,987 --> 00:16:58,323 Preposterous. Do you even have a shred of evidence to back up that claim? 445 00:16:58,407 --> 00:17:00,741 Oh, we've got more than a shred. Look at these photos. 446 00:17:00,825 --> 00:17:03,368 Here, a footprint from the scene of the crime 447 00:17:03,452 --> 00:17:04,452 left by the thief. 448 00:17:04,536 --> 00:17:07,872 And here, another print made yesterday by you. 449 00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:10,207 You've been caught, Allister! Is it happening? 450 00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,541 Caught by me. It is happening. 451 00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:14,710 Me and my rock-hard brain. It happened! 452 00:17:14,794 --> 00:17:16,879 Oh, Raymond. Look around. 453 00:17:16,963 --> 00:17:20,256 These shoes I'm wearing with their "unique footprint," 454 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,590 we all have them. 455 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,592 They were the departmental gift this Christmas. 456 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,010 They're actually very funny. 457 00:17:25,094 --> 00:17:26,594 They have "Achilles" printed on the heel. 458 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:28,930 I don't know if I would call that very funny. 459 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,515 I'm surprised you didn't know about them. Kevin must have gotten a pair. 460 00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:33,558 Oh. I remember what happened. 461 00:17:33,642 --> 00:17:36,393 You had to leave the Christmas party before they were handed out. 462 00:17:36,477 --> 00:17:39,104 Why was that again? Oh, yes. The kerfuffle. 463 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,647 But what about the autobiography 464 00:17:40,731 --> 00:17:42,065 of Persimminons you were taunting us with? 465 00:17:42,149 --> 00:17:45,192 I suppose I can see how holding any book would seem like a taunt to you. 466 00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:46,401 I own a book. But I don't think Raymond 467 00:17:46,485 --> 00:17:48,028 is remembering the story correctly. 468 00:17:48,112 --> 00:17:50,363 Alexander didn't see Parmenion as a rival. 469 00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:52,114 He killed him over a dispute about his son. 470 00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,699 Oh, no, it's Boethius all over again. 471 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,451 DEAN ALLISTER: At least you got one thing right. 472 00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:59,703 You do have a rock-hard brain. Because that's bad. 473 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,163 Everyone knows that a brain should be soft and wet. 474 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,040 I wanted to say that, but Jake told me not to. 475 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,293 Yeah, because it's gross. 476 00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:10,671 There you are. 477 00:18:12,464 --> 00:18:14,215 You okay, sir? I'm fine. 478 00:18:14,299 --> 00:18:15,840 I have decided to stop fighting it 479 00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:17,300 and lean in to the fact that I'm an idiot. 480 00:18:17,384 --> 00:18:19,718 Look at me, playing a video game. Oh. Which one? 481 00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:21,387 Times crossword app. Not a video game. 482 00:18:21,471 --> 00:18:23,722 It plays a little song when you solve it, 483 00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:25,098 as if you've just learned to potty. 484 00:18:25,182 --> 00:18:26,474 [UPBEAT TUNE PLAYS ON CELL PHONE] 485 00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:29,017 Yes, yes, play me my dunce's tune. 486 00:18:29,101 --> 00:18:32,479 [SIGHS] Okay, so those guys look down on you. So what? 487 00:18:32,563 --> 00:18:34,105 Amy's parents look down on me. 488 00:18:34,189 --> 00:18:36,107 They talk about me right in front of my face in Spanish 489 00:18:36,191 --> 00:18:38,233 because they don't think I'm smart enough to learn another language, 490 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:41,111 but I've been taking classes, and now I can understand 491 00:18:41,195 --> 00:18:43,529 all the hurtful things they've been saying. 492 00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:44,780 And how did that help? 493 00:18:44,864 --> 00:18:46,364 Now I know they think I'm short 494 00:18:46,448 --> 00:18:49,075 and I was able to do some research and find that 1940s census 495 00:18:49,159 --> 00:18:51,034 that proves I'm above average in height. For 1940. 496 00:18:51,118 --> 00:18:52,911 Yeah, I'm taller than the greatest generation. 497 00:18:52,995 --> 00:18:55,871 It doesn't matter. The point is, you can use this. 498 00:18:55,955 --> 00:18:58,208 There are benefits to being underestimated. 499 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,876 My goodness. You're right. 500 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,920 There are benefits to being underestimated. 501 00:19:05,004 --> 00:19:06,714 You can get away with anything. 502 00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:09,507 Sir? Are you going to kill the dean? 503 00:19:09,591 --> 00:19:12,510 No. What if the thief was someone we dismissed 504 00:19:12,594 --> 00:19:14,177 because they didn't have a classics background? 505 00:19:14,261 --> 00:19:15,887 Someone who wasn't a professor? 506 00:19:15,971 --> 00:19:17,389 But what about the footprints? 507 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,681 The shoes were only given to faculty. 508 00:19:18,765 --> 00:19:21,267 There was one pair that was unaccounted for, Kevin's. 509 00:19:21,351 --> 00:19:24,311 They were left at the party to be cleaned up. 510 00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:28,105 By Janitor Randy. My story solved it. I'm tall. 511 00:19:28,189 --> 00:19:31,024 Hey, everyone, we would like to say we're sorry 512 00:19:31,108 --> 00:19:33,026 for letting this competition get the best of us. 513 00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:35,652 And to make it up to you, we figured out what to do for lunch. 514 00:19:35,736 --> 00:19:38,864 Please, whatever your new idea is, I just don't want to get shot again. 515 00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:40,865 Ugh. Gary, it was a paintball. Suck it up. 516 00:19:40,949 --> 00:19:42,450 Isn't this supposed to be an apology? 517 00:19:42,534 --> 00:19:45,368 Yes. You're right. I'm sorry. 518 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,621 I mean, I shot my husband with a real bullet two years ago, 519 00:19:47,705 --> 00:19:49,663 and it comes up way less than this. Way less than this. 520 00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:50,748 -Guys! -SANTIAGO: Right. 521 00:19:50,832 --> 00:19:52,499 What we're trying to say is 522 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:56,336 that we lost sight of what this was all really about, building morale. 523 00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,503 So, we bought two-ply toilet paper for the whole squad. 524 00:19:58,587 --> 00:20:00,130 -I call shotgun! -HITCHCOCK: Shotgun! 525 00:20:00,214 --> 00:20:02,840 Also, I sold the teppanyaki grill 526 00:20:02,924 --> 00:20:06,135 and used the money to turn the briefing room into… 527 00:20:06,219 --> 00:20:07,510 The lunch zone. 528 00:20:07,594 --> 00:20:09,179 Oh, no. What's the lunch zone? 529 00:20:09,263 --> 00:20:11,930 Is it someplace we have to put on a harness and not eat lunch? 530 00:20:12,014 --> 00:20:13,474 There are no harnesses. 531 00:20:14,392 --> 00:20:17,519 There are phone chargers and noise-canceling headphones. 532 00:20:17,769 --> 00:20:20,062 So you can eat your lunch and stare at your phone 533 00:20:20,146 --> 00:20:22,731 and you won't have to see or hear anyone you work with. 534 00:20:22,815 --> 00:20:25,691 It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect. 535 00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:26,776 We're so glad you like it. 536 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:29,069 And just to be sure, I'm not gonna get shot? 537 00:20:29,153 --> 00:20:31,989 Oh, my God, Gary. Yes! You won't get shot! 538 00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:34,239 Yeah, I stole those coins. 539 00:20:34,323 --> 00:20:35,658 Can't believe you bought that whole story. 540 00:20:35,742 --> 00:20:37,451 PERALTA: They underestimated you, Randy, 541 00:20:37,535 --> 00:20:39,327 just as they underestimated Raymond Holt. 542 00:20:39,411 --> 00:20:41,245 Well, you guys haven't been that great to me either. 543 00:20:41,329 --> 00:20:43,163 Well, you got to teach people how you want to be treated, Randy. 544 00:20:43,247 --> 00:20:44,247 Dr. Phil, RIP. 545 00:20:44,331 --> 00:20:47,416 The point is, Captain Holt solved the case when no one else could. 546 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,752 He's actually been stealing from these archives for years. 547 00:20:49,836 --> 00:20:52,170 You've been asleep at the wheel, Allister. You're an embarrassment. 548 00:20:52,254 --> 00:20:55,839 Really? Well, at least I've never confused St. Augustine with Boethius. 549 00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:58,717 Oh, who gives a rat's ass about Boethius, Wesley? 550 00:20:58,801 --> 00:20:59,802 What are you doing, Kevin? 551 00:20:59,886 --> 00:21:01,636 I am creating a kerfuffle. Oh, damn. 552 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,180 Sure, my husband is a hot piece of ass, 553 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,889 but he is so much more than just that. 554 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,517 Raymond Holt is as smart as anyone in this department, 555 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,604 but he chooses to use his intelligence to make our city a better place. 556 00:21:14,062 --> 00:21:16,607 One day, I hope to live up to the standard you set. 557 00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:20,317 You make me want to have a wetter brain. 558 00:21:20,401 --> 00:21:21,736 Oh, Kevin. 559 00:21:24,738 --> 00:21:26,281 Y'all are hella specific.