1
00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:04,614
Hey, Charles, want to grab
a beer before you go home?
2
00:00:04,698 --> 00:00:06,116
Ooh, a yeast feast. Never mind.
3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,242
No, no, no, I want to go, it's just,
4
00:00:07,326 --> 00:00:08,535
there's a huge emergency
5
00:00:08,619 --> 00:00:09,703
I have to deal with first.
6
00:00:09,787 --> 00:00:10,788
Oh, no. Is everything okay?
7
00:00:10,872 --> 00:00:11,914
It's about my food truck.
8
00:00:11,998 --> 00:00:13,123
I have to get a parking spot.
9
00:00:13,207 --> 00:00:14,458
Oh. That doesn't sound as intense
10
00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:15,877
as you were making it out to be.
11
00:00:15,961 --> 00:00:17,045
Move your ass, you old bitch!
12
00:00:17,129 --> 00:00:18,129
PERALTA: What is happening?
13
00:00:18,213 --> 00:00:19,547
We have to get there by 7:00
14
00:00:19,631 --> 00:00:21,383
when they lift the parking restrictions.
15
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:22,717
It's the best spot in Brooklyn,
16
00:00:22,801 --> 00:00:24,010
and everyone wants it.
17
00:00:24,094 --> 00:00:25,494
Get the hell out of the way!
18
00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:27,379
-[HORN HONKING]
-[PERALTA SCREAMING]
19
00:00:27,807 --> 00:00:31,352
Charles, I highly doubt
the entire food truck industry
20
00:00:31,436 --> 00:00:33,270
is racing to get into this one spot.
21
00:00:33,354 --> 00:00:34,397
It's not Mad Max.
22
00:00:34,481 --> 00:00:35,731
We're neck and neck with rice pudding.
23
00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:37,442
You got Korean tacos on your six.
24
00:00:37,526 --> 00:00:39,611
Oh, my God, it's real.
We're on the Fury Road.
25
00:00:39,695 --> 00:00:40,737
[HORN HONKS]
26
00:00:40,821 --> 00:00:42,239
Witness me, blood bag!
27
00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:43,448
Hold on tight!
28
00:00:43,532 --> 00:00:45,242
[TIRES SCREECHING]
29
00:00:45,326 --> 00:00:48,538
[SCREAMING]
30
00:00:49,581 --> 00:00:54,211
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
31
00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:57,173
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
32
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:18,028
That was the most stressful
thing I've ever gone through,
33
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,280
and I was wrongfully
imprisoned last year.
34
00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:20,573
That was fun.
35
00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:23,117
Every aspect of owning
a food truck is fun.
36
00:01:23,201 --> 00:01:24,702
It is fun, fun, fun.
37
00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:26,412
What the hell do you want, Troy?
38
00:01:26,496 --> 00:01:28,039
You stole my spot, you son of a bitch!
39
00:01:28,123 --> 00:01:29,416
Oh, go on, get out of here.
You're just jealous.
40
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,168
I'm not going anywhere! I made a signal,
41
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:32,627
and you made an illegal U-turn!
Give me a break.
42
00:01:32,711 --> 00:01:33,920
I should call the cops! Oh, are you gonna
43
00:01:34,004 --> 00:01:35,255
call the cops?
Yeah, I'm gonna call the cops!
44
00:01:35,339 --> 00:01:36,506
I am the cops! Oh, you're a cop now?
45
00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:39,010
Why don't you go back to your
garbage truck and cook some pudding?
46
00:01:39,094 --> 00:01:40,094
You're gonna regret this.
47
00:01:40,178 --> 00:01:41,721
Kill yourself, Troy!
48
00:01:42,264 --> 00:01:43,973
Jake, I have a confession to make.
49
00:01:44,057 --> 00:01:46,157
The food truck is kind
of stressing me out.
50
00:01:48,186 --> 00:01:50,814
Bad news, Captain.
A water main burst downtown.
51
00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:52,774
There's been several injuries.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
52
00:01:52,858 --> 00:01:54,651
And the victims are
in our blah-blah-blah,
53
00:01:54,735 --> 00:01:56,111
but tell him the real tragedy, Terry.
54
00:01:56,195 --> 00:01:57,279
Olivia Crawford
55
00:01:57,363 --> 00:01:59,116
aka your main commish competish.
56
00:01:59,283 --> 00:02:01,576
…tweeted a statement
addressing the water main break,
57
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,787
and she's been retweeted by the mayor.
58
00:02:04,079 --> 00:02:05,997
[SHOUTING] "Kudos to our brave officers…"
59
00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:08,125
Hey, now. Whoa! What is going on?
60
00:02:08,292 --> 00:02:09,419
It's in all caps.
61
00:02:09,627 --> 00:02:11,378
Anyway, I don't see how this is bad news.
62
00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,047
Because the commissioner race,
63
00:02:13,131 --> 00:02:15,591
like all of life, is a
popularity contest,
64
00:02:15,675 --> 00:02:18,260
and Olivia is sitting
at the hot senior table
65
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:21,223
whilst you are eating lunch alone.
66
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,392
If the mayor wants to make me
the next NYPD commissioner,
67
00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:26,645
it'll be because of my
record and my qualifications,
68
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,313
not my social media presence.
69
00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:30,399
-This is a serious job.
-JEFFORDS: I know.
70
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,902
But like it or not, the
decision is political,
71
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,780
and social media is
a part of politics now.
72
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,865
You need a Twitter account.
Not gonna happen.
73
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,326
The whole thing is inane.
74
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,287
Besides, 140 characters is far more
75
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,455
than anyone needs to make a point.
76
00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,166
They actually upped it to 280.
77
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,460
Oh, good God.
78
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,253
BOYLE: I'm so miserable, Jake.
79
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,256
The truck is hemorrhaging money.
I'm going bankrupt.
80
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:53,383
I never see my family. All right, look.
81
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,301
You just have to find a
way to reduce expenses.
82
00:02:55,385 --> 00:02:57,136
I've started saving $200 a month
83
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,888
just by buying John Wick
84
00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,181
instead of renting it every two nights.
85
00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:01,350
I have cut costs.
86
00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:04,019
I fired my only employee,
Ted, which was awful.
87
00:03:04,103 --> 00:03:05,479
Okay, look, I hate to ask this,
88
00:03:05,563 --> 00:03:07,064
but have you considered
shutting the truck down?
89
00:03:07,148 --> 00:03:08,941
You're always bragging about
how much Boyles love to give up.
90
00:03:09,025 --> 00:03:10,401
I can't. I'm in so much debt.
91
00:03:10,485 --> 00:03:11,987
I took out a loan for the truck.
92
00:03:12,071 --> 00:03:13,613
I got Amy to invest.
93
00:03:13,697 --> 00:03:16,116
No, the only way out of
this hole is to keep digging.
94
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,451
That's not how holes
work, title of your sex tape…
95
00:03:18,535 --> 00:03:19,911
Charles, look, you're gonna
96
00:03:19,995 --> 00:03:21,539
find your way out of this, I swear.
97
00:03:21,623 --> 00:03:22,790
It's all gonna work out. You're right.
98
00:03:22,874 --> 00:03:25,042
You know, if I just work
hard and stay positive,
99
00:03:25,126 --> 00:03:26,544
I'm sure it'll be a huge success
100
00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:27,670
and everything will be okay.
101
00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:28,754
There you go.
102
00:03:28,838 --> 00:03:30,548
[PHONE RINGING]
103
00:03:30,632 --> 00:03:32,426
Hello? Oh.
104
00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:34,720
Okay. No, thank you.
105
00:03:35,346 --> 00:03:36,555
So my truck burned down.
106
00:03:37,098 --> 00:03:38,140
Hey.
107
00:03:38,224 --> 00:03:39,933
Someone robbed a bodega on 4th Street.
108
00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:41,310
It's the fifth one this week.
109
00:03:41,394 --> 00:03:43,396
It's so sad that someone's
targeting bodegas.
110
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,106
They're part of the fabric of New York.
111
00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:46,816
You shop at them a lot?
No. They overcharge
112
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:47,984
for everything, and they sell rat poison
113
00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:49,152
right next to the bananas.
114
00:03:49,236 --> 00:03:50,862
Yeah, they're gross.
I hope they never change.
115
00:03:50,946 --> 00:03:52,155
Anyway, Holt wants us to interview
116
00:03:52,239 --> 00:03:53,741
some of the bodega owners and figure out
117
00:03:53,825 --> 00:03:55,576
where to assign additional
uniformed officers.
118
00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,994
I put a map up on the server…
119
00:03:57,078 --> 00:03:58,912
No! Just email it to me.
120
00:03:58,996 --> 00:04:00,706
I hate servers. Bye!
121
00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:02,207
Wait.
Why'd you close your laptop so fast?
122
00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:04,044
What are you hiding? Nurthing.
123
00:04:04,128 --> 00:04:05,378
You're hiding something. What?
124
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,212
Just 'cause I said "nurthing"? Yes.
125
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,633
No! [SIGHS]
126
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,136
Aw, you're looking at wedding dresses?
127
00:04:12,344 --> 00:04:13,929
That one's dope.
That's not what I was doing.
128
00:04:14,013 --> 00:04:15,556
My computer must've
gone to this site on its own.
129
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,391
How is that possible? It's broken, Y2K.
130
00:04:17,475 --> 00:04:18,601
I'll fix it.
131
00:04:18,768 --> 00:04:19,852
[LAPTOP CLATTERS]
132
00:04:19,936 --> 00:04:21,187
There, it's fixed.
133
00:04:21,354 --> 00:04:22,856
You're weird. I know.
134
00:04:23,273 --> 00:04:24,858
Oh, God. My truck.
135
00:04:24,942 --> 00:04:26,318
This truck was my baby!
136
00:04:26,402 --> 00:04:27,944
All right, look, Charles,
I know you're upset,
137
00:04:28,028 --> 00:04:29,196
but maybe there's a silver lining here.
138
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,405
I mean, you had insurance, right?
139
00:04:30,489 --> 00:04:31,782
Yeah. I already called them.
140
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:33,533
So maybe you'll get some money for this,
141
00:04:33,617 --> 00:04:35,203
and you can pay off your
debts, starting with Amy.
142
00:04:35,287 --> 00:04:36,996
I'm sorry, that was selfish.
Forget I said it.
143
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,498
You can pay off your
debts, starting with Amy.
144
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:39,707
Whoops, I did it again.
145
00:04:39,791 --> 00:04:40,958
You're right. This is my way out.
146
00:04:41,042 --> 00:04:42,126
It's a miracle.
147
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:43,294
Oh, my God!
148
00:04:43,378 --> 00:04:45,047
Jake? Boyle?
149
00:04:45,131 --> 00:04:46,715
Adrian. What are you doing here?
150
00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:47,883
I'm an insurance investigator now.
151
00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:49,218
I thought you were in Alaska.
152
00:04:49,302 --> 00:04:51,220
Oh, yeah, I was, after
Rosa and I broke up,
153
00:04:51,304 --> 00:04:52,471
but then I accidentally killed
154
00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:54,766
a "protected buffalo." Self-defense.
155
00:04:54,850 --> 00:04:57,602
Next thing I know, Fish and
Game are all over my ass.
156
00:04:57,686 --> 00:04:59,187
I ended up in a fight with a bear,
157
00:04:59,271 --> 00:05:01,439
and I had to think to
myself, why am I even here?
158
00:05:01,523 --> 00:05:03,233
Wait a minute. You fought a bear?
159
00:05:03,317 --> 00:05:04,652
Big time. The trick on that,
160
00:05:04,736 --> 00:05:06,737
head-butt him in the
penis, push him over a cliff.
161
00:05:06,821 --> 00:05:08,280
Ah, I bet that works
with a lot of animals.
162
00:05:08,364 --> 00:05:09,573
Only the male ones.
163
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:10,658
Learned that the hard way. Hmm.
164
00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:11,992
Anyway, you know that if you guys want
165
00:05:12,076 --> 00:05:13,786
to get in touch with
me, there's easier ways
166
00:05:13,870 --> 00:05:15,372
than burning down your truck, right?
167
00:05:15,456 --> 00:05:17,249
What? Burning down my truck?
168
00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,626
Yeah, it's obviously arson, you did it,
169
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,794
you're not gonna get a dime
170
00:05:20,878 --> 00:05:22,254
and are probably gonna go to jail.
171
00:05:22,338 --> 00:05:24,881
So… What's going on with you guys?
172
00:05:24,965 --> 00:05:27,594
Give me that juicy
Nine-Nine goss, am I right?
173
00:05:30,472 --> 00:05:31,931
This is insane. I mean,
174
00:05:32,015 --> 00:05:33,683
Charles loved this truck. It's his baby.
175
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,976
There's no way he'd burn it down.
176
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,353
The world is a messed up place, Jake.
177
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,688
People kill their babies.
178
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,072
Babies kill their parents.
179
00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:40,691
It's the circle of life.
180
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,152
That was clearly a triangle.
Okay, fine, busted.
181
00:05:43,236 --> 00:05:44,862
I just had the stove's gas line cleaned.
182
00:05:44,946 --> 00:05:46,489
Maybe it was put back
in wrong or something.
183
00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,491
Look, I've caught enough
arsonists in my day
184
00:05:48,575 --> 00:05:50,326
to know that the owner always does it.
185
00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:51,453
Chuck, how's the truck been doing?
186
00:05:51,537 --> 00:05:52,787
Pretty terrible. Hmm?
187
00:05:52,871 --> 00:05:54,414
I was just saying, it's a
miracle it burned down.
188
00:05:54,498 --> 00:05:56,249
Okay, I know Charles
sounds hella guilty right now,
189
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,376
but you know he didn't do it.
190
00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:58,753
Charles, this isn't looking good for you.
191
00:05:58,837 --> 00:06:00,337
Anybody else that might have done this?
Any enemies?
192
00:06:00,421 --> 00:06:01,630
Well, my dad's best friend and I
193
00:06:01,714 --> 00:06:02,840
have a pretty intense rivalry,
194
00:06:02,924 --> 00:06:04,633
but I don't think my aunt
would do anything illegal.
195
00:06:04,717 --> 00:06:05,926
Oh, my God.
196
00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,846
Wait. The rice pudding truck guy!
197
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,848
Oh, my God. That bastard Troy.
198
00:06:09,932 --> 00:06:12,267
We just got into a fight
about this very parking spot.
199
00:06:12,351 --> 00:06:13,393
He said I'd regret it.
200
00:06:13,477 --> 00:06:15,353
Yeah, and that's what happened.
You're regretting it!
201
00:06:15,437 --> 00:06:16,855
Come on, you know we didn't commit arson.
202
00:06:16,939 --> 00:06:18,733
Adrian, this is us. Not the TV show.
203
00:06:18,817 --> 00:06:20,026
We are your friends. Not the movie.
204
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,152
You got to have faith. Not the song.
205
00:06:21,236 --> 00:06:22,361
Are you doing this on purpose?
206
00:06:22,445 --> 00:06:23,488
The third one, yes. Okay.
207
00:06:23,572 --> 00:06:25,573
I'll admit, arson does seem
out of character for you.
208
00:06:25,657 --> 00:06:27,200
Okay, look me in the eyes.
209
00:06:27,284 --> 00:06:30,121
Look me in the eyes like the bear did.
210
00:06:37,712 --> 00:06:38,797
Okay.
211
00:06:39,047 --> 00:06:40,924
I believe you, and together,
212
00:06:41,008 --> 00:06:43,051
we're gonna catch the SOB that did this.
213
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:46,763
I'm so glad he didn't
head-butt me in the penis.
214
00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,447
That's all I was thinking about.
215
00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:50,100
Cheddar!
216
00:06:50,184 --> 00:06:51,560
That's a really good job. Stay, stay.
217
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,854
What's going on here?
Why is Cheddar here?
218
00:06:53,938 --> 00:06:54,939
And why is he in swim trunks?
219
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,357
Because the little sailor outfit
220
00:06:56,441 --> 00:06:58,025
wouldn't fit his tush. Excuse me?
221
00:06:58,109 --> 00:06:59,611
We're setting you up a Twitter account,
222
00:06:59,695 --> 00:07:00,862
and the fastest way to get followers
223
00:07:00,946 --> 00:07:02,239
is cute animal pics.
224
00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:03,698
I follow an account that's just
225
00:07:03,782 --> 00:07:05,784
this one real grouchy chinchilla.
226
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,786
He hates waking up so much!
227
00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:09,914
He really does. He's like "Ooh!"
228
00:07:09,998 --> 00:07:11,332
This is ridiculous.
229
00:07:11,416 --> 00:07:12,667
This has nothing to do with police work.
230
00:07:12,751 --> 00:07:14,418
Exactly. It's about being noticed,
231
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,295
and right now, no one is noticing you.
232
00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:17,922
I didn't even realize we were talking
233
00:07:18,006 --> 00:07:19,299
to a third party, presently.
234
00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:21,301
Fine. If you really think it's necessary,
235
00:07:21,385 --> 00:07:23,637
I will establish a social media presence.
236
00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:25,097
But I'll be setting up my own accounts,
237
00:07:25,181 --> 00:07:26,431
and I assure you,
238
00:07:26,515 --> 00:07:27,933
I won't be resorting to foolish gimmicks
239
00:07:28,017 --> 00:07:29,017
involving my dog.
240
00:07:29,101 --> 00:07:30,854
Uh, you might want
to rethink that stance,
241
00:07:30,938 --> 00:07:33,314
because how cute would
Cheddar look in this hat?
242
00:07:33,398 --> 00:07:35,275
Please. When it comes to clothes,
243
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:37,735
Cheddar wears little booties in the snow
244
00:07:37,819 --> 00:07:39,781
or Cheddar wears nothing.
245
00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:43,450
Troy's not home, but I say we wait.
246
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:45,953
I have some hard questions
for that rice pudding bastard.
247
00:07:46,037 --> 00:07:48,622
So, Adrian, how's life as
an insurance investigator?
248
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:50,166
It's amazing. At Gray Star Mutual,
249
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,252
they let me do whatever I want,
250
00:07:52,336 --> 00:07:54,629
as long as I'm getting that
job done, and you know I am.
251
00:07:54,713 --> 00:07:56,298
Last week, I waterboarded a dude.
252
00:07:56,382 --> 00:07:57,966
Oh, that's not legal. Doesn't matter.
253
00:07:58,050 --> 00:08:00,135
I'm not a cop.
Anyway, what's up with you guys?
254
00:08:00,219 --> 00:08:01,470
Hey, Jake, who you porking?
255
00:08:01,554 --> 00:08:04,891
Uh, I guess Amy and I are still…
256
00:08:04,975 --> 00:08:06,893
I don't want to say it. Yep.
257
00:08:07,352 --> 00:08:09,270
Porking. Yeah, you are. Nice.
258
00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:10,647
Actually, we got engaged.
259
00:08:10,731 --> 00:08:12,357
What the hell? How come I didn't know?
260
00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:13,775
I thought we were supposed to be friends.
261
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:16,153
Oh, wait a minute.
Did this, like, just happen?
262
00:08:16,237 --> 00:08:18,155
Well, it was at Halloween.
263
00:08:18,239 --> 00:08:19,698
Wha… No, that's so long ago!
264
00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:22,076
Charles, are you just
finding out about this too?
265
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,411
No, I was there.
266
00:08:23,495 --> 00:08:24,704
You were there? Who else?
267
00:08:24,788 --> 00:08:25,997
Who else got to be a part of this?
268
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,331
Nobody, you know, just…
269
00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:29,251
Holt and…
270
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,127
Terry and Rosa. Okay.
271
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,922
And Hitchcock and Scully. Seriously?
272
00:08:33,006 --> 00:08:34,256
And this creepy guy named Bill.
273
00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:35,925
Oh, come on! I'm the creepy guy
274
00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:38,302
that's supposed to be in
stuff that you have happen.
275
00:08:38,386 --> 00:08:39,845
Look, you just left town,
276
00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:41,723
and we don't exactly
have a text relationship…
277
00:08:41,807 --> 00:08:42,849
How dare you?
278
00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:44,643
May 10th, I texted you,
279
00:08:44,727 --> 00:08:46,353
I'm at the Gaga concert, you here,
280
00:08:46,437 --> 00:08:48,271
question mark, question
mark, question mark.
281
00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:51,191
You texted back, No. Frowny face.
282
00:08:51,275 --> 00:08:53,319
Look, I've been really busy.
I'm sorry, okay?
283
00:08:53,403 --> 00:08:54,696
I understand.
284
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,406
You know, I just didn't
hear about this one thing.
285
00:08:57,490 --> 00:08:59,200
I mean, I can't imagine
there are any other
286
00:08:59,284 --> 00:09:01,036
major milestones that I've missed.
287
00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:03,705
Are there? I mean, Amy's a sergeant.
288
00:09:03,789 --> 00:09:04,873
No. And Holt's up
289
00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:06,041
for commissioner. Seriously?
290
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:07,876
And Dr. Ronald Yee came to the precinct
291
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,294
and taught a course on forensics.
292
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:11,046
The Dr. Ronald Yee?
293
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,673
Mmm-hmm. Oh, my God!
294
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:14,550
Yee was in the building? Yeah.
295
00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:16,177
Wow, didn't realize the
Yee news was up there
296
00:09:16,261 --> 00:09:17,553
with the other stuff. Oh, come on, Jake.
297
00:09:17,637 --> 00:09:20,139
Yee only wrote the book on
forensic facial reconstruction.
298
00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:21,516
He's a rock star!
299
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,102
You guys could have texted me, but, no,
300
00:09:23,186 --> 00:09:26,397
because I bet you haven't
thought about me once
301
00:09:26,481 --> 00:09:27,898
since I dumped Rosa.
302
00:09:27,982 --> 00:09:29,525
Did you dump her? You know what?
303
00:09:29,609 --> 00:09:31,735
I need some air. I'm storming out.
304
00:09:31,819 --> 00:09:32,987
I'm storming out!
305
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,032
So I can spare four uniformed officers
306
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:38,618
to do hourly pass-bys of
the bodegas south of 4th,
307
00:09:38,702 --> 00:09:41,287
and I'll coordinate with the, um…
308
00:09:41,371 --> 00:09:42,539
Hourly pass-bys of the…
309
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:43,874
Wait. What was that?
310
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,584
That was me talking
about hourly pass-bys.
311
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,420
Oh, yeah, I heard about
the hourly pass-bys.
312
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,713
Twice. I meant…
313
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,132
That subtle side look. [SCOFFS]
314
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,259
There was no subtle side look.
315
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,594
You're right, 'cause it wasn't subtle.
316
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,764
It was an unsubtle side look at…
317
00:09:57,348 --> 00:09:58,516
That dress in the shop.
318
00:09:58,766 --> 00:09:59,933
Why are you being such a nut job
319
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,518
about looking for a wedding dress?
320
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,271
Because being a female
sergeant is difficult.
321
00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:05,481
I have to work twice as hard
322
00:10:05,565 --> 00:10:06,899
to gain my officers' respect,
323
00:10:06,983 --> 00:10:09,444
and looking at girly
dresses isn't going to help.
324
00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:12,030
Plus, it's a new job, and I
need to make it a priority.
325
00:10:12,114 --> 00:10:13,740
Dude, I get that, but if you want
326
00:10:13,824 --> 00:10:15,951
a beautiful wedding dress,
you deserve to find one.
327
00:10:16,035 --> 00:10:17,077
Look, there are no cops around.
328
00:10:17,161 --> 00:10:18,454
Nobody's gonna see you.
329
00:10:18,538 --> 00:10:20,080
Why don't we just take our break now,
330
00:10:20,164 --> 00:10:21,206
try one on?
331
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,624
Okay?
[SOFTLY] Okay.
332
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:23,834
-Okay?
-Okay.
333
00:10:23,918 --> 00:10:25,211
-Okay?
-[LAUGHS] Okay.
334
00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:26,338
Hell yeah!
335
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:28,882
They are closed.
336
00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:30,508
We will come back later. Yeah.
337
00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:32,635
Where did Adrian go? He seemed upset.
338
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,012
Should we be worried? Always.
339
00:10:34,096 --> 00:10:35,890
We should always be worried about him.
340
00:10:35,974 --> 00:10:37,559
Jake. Look, look.
341
00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:40,478
Excuse me, Troy Lunniker, we are…
342
00:10:40,562 --> 00:10:42,146
I know exactly who you
are, you spot-stealing
343
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,522
son of a bitch! I didn't steal your spot!
344
00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:45,357
You were too slow, you idiot!
You did steal my spot, man.
345
00:10:45,441 --> 00:10:46,485
You with the horrible meatballs.
346
00:10:46,569 --> 00:10:47,652
You should call them crap balls, man!
347
00:10:47,736 --> 00:10:48,862
Oh, my food tastes like crap?
348
00:10:48,946 --> 00:10:49,988
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop.
349
00:10:50,072 --> 00:10:51,156
Crap balls. Hey!
350
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,991
Look, Detective Boyle's
truck burned down.
351
00:10:53,075 --> 00:10:54,159
Yeah, and you did it.
352
00:10:54,243 --> 00:10:55,953
You torched my truck,
and you're going to jail.
353
00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:58,164
Whoa. Someone burned down your truck?
354
00:10:58,248 --> 00:11:00,083
I'm sorry, man, but I would
never do anything like that.
355
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,209
I swear it wasn't me.
356
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:02,835
Well, I'd love to believe you, Troy,
357
00:11:02,919 --> 00:11:05,546
but I'm afraid we're gonna
need to see some proof.
358
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,257
Oh, my God, he had so much proof.
359
00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:08,842
I can't believe he was on Cash Cab
360
00:11:08,926 --> 00:11:10,511
at the exact moment my truck burned down.
361
00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:11,845
And he did so well.
362
00:11:11,929 --> 00:11:13,430
He named every member of the Monkees.
363
00:11:13,514 --> 00:11:15,265
He even got Tork. No one gets Tork.
364
00:11:15,349 --> 00:11:16,517
I know. All right, so if it wasn't Troy,
365
00:11:16,601 --> 00:11:18,601
the question is, who could it have been?
366
00:11:19,188 --> 00:11:20,981
-What's up, jerks?
-BOTH: Ahhh!
367
00:11:21,356 --> 00:11:22,816
BOYLE: Pimento, you broke into my house?
368
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,609
Yeah. I'm an insurance investigator.
369
00:11:24,693 --> 00:11:26,778
I can do whatever I want.
What are you doing here?
370
00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:28,864
I'm working the case.
I'm looking for clues.
371
00:11:28,948 --> 00:11:31,158
Come on, you already
said Charles couldn't do this.
372
00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:32,618
I couldn't do it. That's what I thought.
373
00:11:32,702 --> 00:11:33,702
But then I realized,
374
00:11:33,786 --> 00:11:35,371
if you can hide your engagement from me,
375
00:11:35,455 --> 00:11:37,874
what else are you capable of hiding?
376
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,709
Oh, right. Arson!
377
00:11:39,793 --> 00:11:41,711
Come on, don't you think
that's a bit of a stretch?
378
00:11:41,795 --> 00:11:43,338
Is it? Lab tests came back
379
00:11:43,422 --> 00:11:45,632
and said the accelerant
used in the fire was turpentine.
380
00:11:45,716 --> 00:11:49,846
And look what I found
in Boyle's wife's closet.
381
00:11:49,930 --> 00:11:51,556
Looks to me a lot like turpentine.
382
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,475
Oh, I wouldn't do that. [COUGHS]
383
00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:56,435
Turpentine, just like I thought.
384
00:11:56,519 --> 00:11:58,897
That's Genevieve's.
She uses it for her paintings.
385
00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,775
[COUGHING] Oh, likely story.
386
00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:05,071
If that's the case, then
how do you explain this
387
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:06,321
that I found on your fridge?
388
00:12:06,405 --> 00:12:07,573
My wedding invitation?
389
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:08,825
A-ha, so you admit it.
390
00:12:08,909 --> 00:12:10,702
Invites have gone
out, and I didn't get one!
391
00:12:10,786 --> 00:12:12,495
Oh, well, well, well.
392
00:12:12,579 --> 00:12:14,455
Now you both are gonna pay.
393
00:12:14,539 --> 00:12:15,790
Adrian. Hey, come on.
394
00:12:15,874 --> 00:12:17,208
Oh, I thought you
were reaching for a gun.
395
00:12:17,292 --> 00:12:18,293
Oh, no, my friend.
396
00:12:18,377 --> 00:12:19,920
This is much worse than a gun.
397
00:12:20,004 --> 00:12:22,548
This is a stamp, a stamp that says…
398
00:12:23,591 --> 00:12:24,676
Denied.
399
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:27,595
Your claim is denied.
400
00:12:27,929 --> 00:12:31,350
[LAUGHING]
401
00:12:31,642 --> 00:12:32,977
[COUGHS]
402
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,480
Do you really think the insurance company
403
00:12:37,564 --> 00:12:39,317
will replace Adrian as the
investigator on my case?
404
00:12:39,401 --> 00:12:40,693
Yeah. It's Gray Star Mutual.
405
00:12:40,777 --> 00:12:42,278
"Where the feeling is mutual."
406
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,156
And right now we're feeling
like we want a new investigator.
407
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,616
Okay. Hi, I'm Travis.
408
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,201
I've been reviewing your appeal.
409
00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:49,953
I understand you have a
problem with Mr. Pimento.
410
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,288
Yes, we sort of have
411
00:12:51,372 --> 00:12:53,290
a complicated preexisting relationship,
412
00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:54,958
which I think is a conflict of interest.
413
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,460
Okay, I'll be honest,
414
00:12:56,544 --> 00:12:58,962
we've had some problems
with Mr. Pimento before.
415
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,174
I think he may have broken
into my apartment once.
416
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,301
Oh, you'd know.
He leaves a lot of hair behind.
417
00:13:03,385 --> 00:13:04,385
He's a shedder. Mmm-hmm.
418
00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:06,054
Okay. I'll talk to my supervisor,
419
00:13:06,138 --> 00:13:07,138
see what can be done.
420
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:08,723
Great. Thank you very much.
421
00:13:08,807 --> 00:13:11,352
See, Charles?
Things are starting to look up.
422
00:13:11,436 --> 00:13:12,561
Up your butt!
423
00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:14,396
Adrian! What a coincidence.
424
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,607
We were just filing a
complaint about you.
425
00:13:16,691 --> 00:13:18,400
You were obviously listening.
I don't know why I'm trying to lie.
426
00:13:18,484 --> 00:13:19,652
Oh, we're locked in. Great.
427
00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:21,363
First you cut me out of your lives,
428
00:13:21,447 --> 00:13:23,490
then you try and get me fired?
429
00:13:23,574 --> 00:13:25,200
My therapist was right about you guys.
430
00:13:25,284 --> 00:13:26,701
You're a couple of dinguses.
431
00:13:26,785 --> 00:13:27,827
You have a therapist?
432
00:13:27,911 --> 00:13:29,496
Yeah, he's helping me
work on my rotator cuff.
433
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:30,705
Oh, I see, it's a physical therapist.
434
00:13:30,789 --> 00:13:32,959
Oh, he's very physical, Charles.
435
00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,252
Very physical.
436
00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:38,673
So what do you think?
437
00:13:38,757 --> 00:13:40,716
Mmm, I don't love the sash.
438
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,427
But it's fine. I'm just gonna get it.
439
00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:44,137
What? That's the first one you tried on.
440
00:13:44,221 --> 00:13:47,182
I once saw you look at 54
different accordion folders
441
00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:49,685
and not buy any of them due to weak tabs.
442
00:13:49,769 --> 00:13:52,063
I file hard. I need strong tabs.
443
00:13:52,147 --> 00:13:54,065
I just don't want to
take up any more time.
444
00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:55,999
Your break's not even a quarter done.
445
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:57,860
I'll stay another 10 minutes.
446
00:13:57,944 --> 00:13:59,320
You'll stay until I dismiss you.
447
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:00,989
Irene, music.
448
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:02,908
-[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
-Now spin.
449
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,159
-[RADIO CHIRPS]
-DISPATCHER: All units,
450
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:05,244
attempted 1030-Charlie.
451
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:06,620
Bodega on Smith.
452
00:14:06,704 --> 00:14:07,788
Perp is heading east on Baltic.
453
00:14:07,872 --> 00:14:09,332
That's us! We're on Baltic.
454
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,834
Oh, crap. That was him!
455
00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:13,212
IRENE: Hey!
456
00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:16,006
NYPD, stop!
457
00:14:16,090 --> 00:14:18,592
[EXCITING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
458
00:14:20,636 --> 00:14:21,804
Hey!
459
00:14:32,774 --> 00:14:34,609
Stay down! Damn, Sarge.
460
00:14:34,693 --> 00:14:36,195
Maybe I do like the sash.
461
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,904
Sir, brace yourself.
462
00:14:37,988 --> 00:14:39,865
Olivia Crawford just tweeted a post
463
00:14:39,949 --> 00:14:41,408
of an officer carrying a woman
464
00:14:41,492 --> 00:14:42,868
through knee-deep flood waters.
465
00:14:42,952 --> 00:14:45,079
Spoiler alert, they
are of different races.
466
00:14:45,163 --> 00:14:46,289
JEFFORDS: Terry teared up.
467
00:14:46,373 --> 00:14:47,957
I love when calamity
brings people together.
468
00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:50,168
Sir, it got another
retweet from the mayor.
469
00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:51,919
It got a retweet from the governor.
470
00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:53,672
Well, I have already set up my accounts,
471
00:14:53,756 --> 00:14:56,050
and not to toot my own bugle,
472
00:14:56,134 --> 00:14:58,010
but I think I did an admirable job.
473
00:14:58,094 --> 00:15:00,304
Oh, okay, what's your handle?
I'll be your first follower.
474
00:15:00,388 --> 00:15:07,229
It's @5261796d6e6420486f6c74.
475
00:15:07,896 --> 00:15:10,273
It spells "Raymond Holt"
in hexadecimal code.
476
00:15:10,357 --> 00:15:12,067
Clever, right? Captain, are you sure
477
00:15:12,151 --> 00:15:13,568
you wouldn't like some help with this?
478
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:15,363
Oh, no need. Now, for my first tweet,
479
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,448
I think I should give an
update on the water main break
480
00:15:17,532 --> 00:15:19,033
that's actually informative.
481
00:15:19,117 --> 00:15:24,998
"NYC H20-Main SITREP: at 2040 EDT
482
00:15:25,082 --> 00:15:31,296
"current PSI 456 MAX CAP 204000 LPM."
483
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:34,716
Suck on that tasty lemon
drop, Olivia Crawford.
484
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,469
-[COMPUTER CHIMES]
-Oh, look at that. An alert.
485
00:15:36,553 --> 00:15:38,137
I'm probably trending already.
486
00:15:38,221 --> 00:15:39,931
What? My account has been deactivated?
487
00:15:40,015 --> 00:15:41,474
Twitter thinks you're a bot.
488
00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:43,601
Why? I am a human.
489
00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:44,895
I am a human male.
490
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,188
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
491
00:15:46,272 --> 00:15:47,356
TRAVIS: Adrian, open up.
492
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,524
Get out of here, Travis!
493
00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:50,109
Come on, Adrian, admit it.
494
00:15:50,193 --> 00:15:51,485
You have a conflict of interest.
495
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:52,820
How could I have a conflict of interest?
496
00:15:52,904 --> 00:15:54,696
We barely have a relationship.
497
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,282
We're not even friends anymore.
498
00:15:56,366 --> 00:15:58,576
You saw to that, didn't you?
That's crazy.
499
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:00,203
We may have lost touch,
but we're still friends.
500
00:16:00,287 --> 00:16:03,540
Oh, is that right, Jake?
Are we still friends?
501
00:16:03,624 --> 00:16:05,875
If that's the case, then
when did I lose my virginity?
502
00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:07,086
Oh, man, you've told us
503
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:08,421
so many intense graphic sex stories.
504
00:16:08,505 --> 00:16:10,756
I have! But a true friend
505
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,384
always remembers a friend's first.
506
00:16:13,468 --> 00:16:15,761
Jake, we know this!
It's got to be one of the swamps.
507
00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:17,806
Uh, Florida swamp or Okefenokee Swamp or…
508
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:18,932
Oh, was it a bayou?
509
00:16:19,016 --> 00:16:20,016
PERALTA: No, no, no! I've got it.
510
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,268
Summer of '91, at a screening
511
00:16:21,352 --> 00:16:22,853
of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
512
00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:25,730
Well done. It was Bryan Adams' soundtrack
513
00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:28,359
and Kevin Costner's
flawless British accent
514
00:16:28,443 --> 00:16:31,279
that put us in the mood to get gross.
515
00:16:31,363 --> 00:16:33,197
Next question. Favorite shape?
516
00:16:33,281 --> 00:16:34,449
Oval? Of course!
517
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:36,200
Favorite scent? Trick question.
518
00:16:36,284 --> 00:16:38,245
BOTH: You lost your sense of smell in a…
519
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:39,371
ALL: Shipwreck!
520
00:16:39,455 --> 00:16:41,540
[GASPS] Guys, we are friends!
521
00:16:41,624 --> 00:16:43,834
Aw, I love you guys.
522
00:16:44,252 --> 00:16:45,628
[SCREAMING]
523
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,213
Are you still angry?
524
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,048
No, that was a cathartic scream of love.
525
00:16:49,132 --> 00:16:50,216
Understood. Good.
526
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,301
Well, anyways, I'm sorry
527
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,385
about how things went down, man.
528
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:53,553
We should have stayed in touch.
529
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,221
No, it's just as much my fault as yours.
530
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,015
I could have kept in touch with you guys
531
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,018
and probably should have
told you about my new family.
532
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,227
Your new what now?
533
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,313
Ah, Travis. Great, you're here.
534
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,690
These gentlemen are
innocent and are free to go.
535
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,400
You're fired, Adrian. What?
536
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,070
And as for you, my supervisor
and I reviewed your case.
537
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,072
Turpentine is all the proof
we need to deny your claim.
538
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:14,201
[GASPS] The feeling wasn't mutual.
539
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,247
You're so lame, you know that, Travis?
540
00:17:18,331 --> 00:17:20,500
Wait a second.
Is this just because I did molly
541
00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:21,959
with your daughter? You did?
542
00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:23,211
Don't think he knew about that.
543
00:17:23,295 --> 00:17:24,795
Just don't ever come back here again.
544
00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:26,172
If you do, I'll have you arrested.
545
00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:27,423
How dare you?
546
00:17:27,507 --> 00:17:29,343
I gave you the best two weeks of my life!
547
00:17:29,427 --> 00:17:31,762
Oh, guys, I'm so screwed.
We got no leads.
548
00:17:31,846 --> 00:17:32,930
I'm not gonna get any of the money back.
549
00:17:33,014 --> 00:17:34,014
What do we do?
550
00:17:34,098 --> 00:17:36,350
We go directly to
Travis' house right now,
551
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:37,518
pee on everything he owns,
552
00:17:37,602 --> 00:17:38,978
and then burn that place to the ground.
553
00:17:39,062 --> 00:17:40,396
Adrian, that's it. It is?
554
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,689
Yes! I knew it! No, no, no.
555
00:17:41,773 --> 00:17:43,024
Not anything about anything you said.
556
00:17:43,108 --> 00:17:44,776
But, Charles, didn't you just
tell me you fired someone?
557
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,653
Yeah, Ted. I took him out to dinner.
558
00:17:46,737 --> 00:17:48,029
He thought he was getting a promotion.
559
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:49,365
It was a whole thing.
560
00:17:49,449 --> 00:17:50,908
He wept a lot. Not as much as me…
561
00:17:50,992 --> 00:17:52,493
Yeah, but the point
is, he was upset, right?
562
00:17:52,577 --> 00:17:54,453
And he knew where
you liked to park the truck.
563
00:17:54,537 --> 00:17:57,456
Uh-huh. And he never gave me my key back.
564
00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:59,208
He said he lost it.
You really think it's him?
565
00:17:59,292 --> 00:18:00,585
I mean, it's just a hunch, but…
566
00:18:00,669 --> 00:18:01,836
We should go to his
house and burn it down.
567
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,255
I was gonna say we could go investigate.
568
00:18:03,339 --> 00:18:04,381
Sure, sure, sure.
569
00:18:04,465 --> 00:18:05,799
And then burn it to the ground.
570
00:18:05,883 --> 00:18:07,342
No. No burning of anything!
571
00:18:07,426 --> 00:18:08,927
What? I already got the match lit.
572
00:18:09,011 --> 00:18:10,722
How? Let's hurry up and get there.
573
00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:13,683
Captain, I'm trying to get
your account reinstated,
574
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:14,976
but it could take a while.
575
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,477
They say they have a lot of Nazi stuff
576
00:18:16,561 --> 00:18:17,562
on the front burner.
577
00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:18,646
And when you tweet again,
578
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:19,730
you should probably stop
579
00:18:19,814 --> 00:18:20,899
communicating in numbers, kay?
580
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:22,568
There's a 0% chance of that.
581
00:18:22,652 --> 00:18:24,319
Besides, I won't be tweeting anymore.
582
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,696
I just got off the phone with the head
583
00:18:25,780 --> 00:18:26,822
of the selection committee. You did?
584
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,824
Apparently, one of the
candidates for commissioner
585
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,077
tweeted a picture of the water main break
586
00:18:31,161 --> 00:18:32,996
and accidentally included a link
587
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,414
to his favorite pornographic website…
588
00:18:34,498 --> 00:18:36,249
Mmm. Cosplay-butts-n-boobs.com.
589
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:37,458
Amateur move.
590
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:39,252
You should never
copy-paste if you're a perv.
591
00:18:39,336 --> 00:18:41,630
It's quite the scandal.
The candidate has dropped out.
592
00:18:41,714 --> 00:18:43,048
It's down to just three of us now.
593
00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:45,593
So I guess this proves
I was right all along.
594
00:18:45,677 --> 00:18:47,428
Social media. It's a fool's game
595
00:18:47,512 --> 00:18:48,971
and only a fool would play.
596
00:18:49,055 --> 00:18:50,222
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
597
00:18:50,306 --> 00:18:53,143
And why is Cheddar wearing a beret?
598
00:18:54,436 --> 00:18:55,938
Uh…
599
00:18:56,146 --> 00:18:58,273
Kevin saw your photos and was amused,
600
00:18:58,357 --> 00:19:00,775
so we started an Instagram
account for Cheddar,
601
00:19:00,859 --> 00:19:03,237
who now has over 14,000 followers.
602
00:19:03,321 --> 00:19:04,572
Hoo-whee!
603
00:19:04,656 --> 00:19:06,006
It's an incredible feeling.
604
00:19:06,658 --> 00:19:07,783
TED: This is insulting.
605
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,619
First you fire me in front of my family.
606
00:19:09,703 --> 00:19:11,120
Ooh, Charles, his
family was at the dinner?
607
00:19:11,204 --> 00:19:12,247
It was not well-handled.
608
00:19:12,331 --> 00:19:13,624
Now you accuse me of arson.
609
00:19:13,708 --> 00:19:15,584
-Just get out of my garage.
-PERALTA: Hey, Ted?
610
00:19:15,668 --> 00:19:17,127
How come you have all this turpentine?
611
00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,963
And this plastic bag filled with
matches and magnesium strips.
612
00:19:20,047 --> 00:19:21,632
I found it buried under the back porch,
613
00:19:21,716 --> 00:19:23,551
and I'm no expert, but it seems like
614
00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:26,220
that's the kind of stuff
you'd use to light a fire, right?
615
00:19:26,304 --> 00:19:27,556
Oh, there he goes.
616
00:19:31,727 --> 00:19:32,936
Say it with me, Jake.
617
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:35,522
You've been… Denied! Butt-slammed!
618
00:19:35,606 --> 00:19:37,567
Wait, what? Denied, like the stamp?
619
00:19:38,025 --> 00:19:40,903
Oh, that is so much better.
620
00:19:40,987 --> 00:19:42,655
"Butt-slammed" is so stupid.
621
00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:45,617
Oh, is that the wedding dress
622
00:19:45,701 --> 00:19:48,203
from the Erica Somerfield
2018 fall collection?
623
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,288
No way, the bodice is totally different.
624
00:19:50,372 --> 00:19:52,040
Why do you two know so
much about wedding dresses?
625
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,668
They're the only thing
you can look at around here
626
00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:55,044
with safe search on!
627
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:56,379
All right, that's enough.
628
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,963
Can we all get back to police work
629
00:19:58,047 --> 00:19:59,965
and stop talking about wedding dresses?
630
00:20:00,049 --> 00:20:01,384
No. We're gonna talk about them,
631
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,052
because while wearing a wedding dress,
632
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:04,429
you leapt over a couch,
633
00:20:04,513 --> 00:20:06,390
sprinted down an alley,
and jumped off a car
634
00:20:06,474 --> 00:20:08,767
to subdue the crap out of a perp
like you were Wonder Woman.
635
00:20:08,851 --> 00:20:10,227
It was pretty cool, wasn't it?
636
00:20:10,311 --> 00:20:12,896
Amy, you are an amazing
cop and a great leader,
637
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,691
and you have proven
that a billion times over.
638
00:20:14,775 --> 00:20:16,567
You can't let other people's
opinions get in the way
639
00:20:16,651 --> 00:20:18,403
of what you want, especially
because other people suck.
640
00:20:18,487 --> 00:20:19,904
Well, if I'm being honest,
641
00:20:19,988 --> 00:20:21,531
I would like a prettier dress.
There you go.
642
00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:22,740
And I would like it to have some lace.
643
00:20:22,824 --> 00:20:24,243
Uh-huh. And a sweetheart neckline,
644
00:20:24,327 --> 00:20:25,452
thank you very much. What else?
645
00:20:25,536 --> 00:20:27,454
And I want a mermaid
cut with tulip sleeves.
646
00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:28,706
Say it again. Say it loud.
647
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:32,501
A mermaid cut with
tulip frickin' sleeves!
648
00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:34,713
Pimento's here! All right!
649
00:20:34,797 --> 00:20:36,214
Thanks so much for that text, man.
650
00:20:36,298 --> 00:20:37,590
That meant a lot. The one that said,
651
00:20:37,674 --> 00:20:38,883
"Want to grab a drink tonight?" Yeah.
652
00:20:38,967 --> 00:20:40,760
Hey, Boyle, did you get
that insurance payout?
653
00:20:40,844 --> 00:20:42,554
Yes, I am out of the food truck business,
654
00:20:42,638 --> 00:20:44,597
and I no longer start
spontaneously weeping.
655
00:20:44,681 --> 00:20:45,766
Nice.
656
00:20:45,850 --> 00:20:46,976
Listen, I'm sorry you got fired.
657
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:48,853
Oh, don't worry about it.
I got myself fired, all right?
658
00:20:48,937 --> 00:20:51,564
Plus, doesn't matter.
I got a way better job now.
659
00:20:51,648 --> 00:20:54,275
I'm working at one of those
fancy hand lotion stores.
660
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,111
Spoiler alert, I have a gun again,
661
00:20:56,195 --> 00:20:58,363
and I've gotten to use it three times.
662
00:20:58,447 --> 00:21:00,615
You would be surprised
how often teenage girls
663
00:21:00,699 --> 00:21:02,576
try and shoplift mango hand cream.
664
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:04,119
Huh. But it smells great!
665
00:21:04,203 --> 00:21:06,122
I love it. I can get you some.
666
00:21:06,206 --> 00:21:07,915
Well, listen, man, I've
got something for you.
667
00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:09,041
Really? For me?
668
00:21:09,125 --> 00:21:10,126
It's an invitation to my wedding.
669
00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:12,336
Aw, Jake, I am so honored
670
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:13,546
and would love to be…
671
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:15,381
Oh, nope, I can't make this.
672
00:21:15,465 --> 00:21:16,717
This is the same night as Lady Gaga.
673
00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:18,218
Oh, thank God. I didn't run it by Amy,
674
00:21:18,302 --> 00:21:19,428
so this worked out great for both of us!
675
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:20,804
[LAUGHS] But honestly,
676
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:22,014
nobody's gonna come to this,
677
00:21:22,098 --> 00:21:23,948
because everybody's gonna be at Gaga.